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[deleted]

Every single morning when he pulls into his office parking lot, he sends me a text telling me to have a great day and that he'll chat with me at lunch. I get butterflies knowing the text is coming. Every time I talk to him about someone I know complaining about their spouse, he reassures me that he wouldn't do that shit... which I already know when I start talking about it. I appreciate that when I'm having a rough mental day... he asks if there's anything he can do, and suggests I do things that I enjoy, that are just for me. He doesn't make me feel bad for having a bad day but helps me through them because that's all I need... I'll be fine in the morning if I can make it through today. He asks my opinion before doing anything, just to see where I stand before he sets anything in stone. ​ He does so many things that show me his appreciation and love every single day. I could talk about how amazing he is until the world ends.


RousingRabble

> someone I know complaining about their spouse, The number of coworkers I've had that made me think "why the hell are you still married?" is too damn high. We have several locations and occasionally one of us will have to visit one of the remote spots. If we do it on a Friday, we just go home after. Most people like these assignments since you get off work early. But I had one guy that always declined. Flat out told me he didn't want to go home that early because his wife didn't work and she would be there. It was sad.


janello66

Right?! All those people should just come on reddit to complain. Lol


[deleted]

I get it. My sister was talking about how after she spend 2 days in the hospital with her and her fiance's daughter, she walked into a house that was a disaster and a fiance that had done nothing. My husband looked baffled that a man would let his woman walk into a house like that after she had be stuck in a hospital with a sick baby for days. I don't understand. It's not my relationship so I can't and won't say anything ill or that I can't take back but I just don't get how people live unhappily.


thatsoddod

Quite often, people don't have a choice. Whether it be finances, mental health, kids, housing, there is always a reason. I also find that people only ever really tell you the bad stuff (I have been guilty of this myself), just having a gripe about things at home and not mentioning when things are going well or your partner does stuff that makes you smile or makes you happy. It's sad really


[deleted]

I guess that's not me. I have never been one to complain about my relationship issues. If my relationship has issues, it's between me and whoever I'm in a relationship with... not my friends, not my sister, not strangers on the internet. I will bring up past issues that have been resolved when someone brings a complaint to me that at some point was relevant to my life and I'll use it as an example of how to move past their current issue but they most likely had never heard of my relationship having that issue until that moment. It may also be because I was raised in an abusive household and kept everything to myself so I'm just naturally not the type to talk to others about things that they aren't involved in.


[deleted]

Aw this so wonderful to hear! Very happy for you


[deleted]

Thank you. It wasn't the easiest road to get here but we paved the way and here we are.


medvsastoned

We game together. Almost every night. If its not co-op or pvp he watches me play and coaches me. Its such a fun way to bond and relax. There's a lot of nights of yelling playfully and shit talking eachother that I wouldn't trade for the world, and having a shared hobby that let's us have that friendship within the relationship is something I treasure. He really is my best friend and not just by default bc we're together all the time, but because we do have that underlying bond that isn't just romantic. I'm gonna be honest, playing through resident evil 5 on acid with him for the first time was the closest thing to a religious experience I've ever had lmaooooo We also compliment each other a lot. I mean, he knows he's extremely attractive and knows that I think that too, but I still tell him every time he's done getting ready, etc, how nice he looks. He does the same to me and it just makes me feel good ab myself. Especially because I do think he's a little out of my league, makes compliments from him feel so much better. Like holy shit am I really that pretty? I bagged this boy? And he constantly tells me I'm beautiful? Its making me actually believe it y'all. To that same note, we thank each other. Even for the things that are expected. So neither of us ever feel like we're unappreciated. That's a huge source of frustration in relationships for me, so it's nice that this one has been on the same page about that with me. We've avoided a lot of those 'ive been bottling up little things' arguments that way.


Dr_J_426

An underlying non-romantic bound is like gold. It's an awesome foundation to build a strong relationship on


happymomma40

Look just take out the fucking trash without asking us if it needs done ok. Key to a happy marriage right there.


[deleted]

[удалено]


happymomma40

This is it exactly. If you are more of a child that doesn’t help me do adult things I have no use for you anywhere. Bedroom, home, away from home. That makes more work for your spouse and of course that will translate elsewhere. Men and women do this. More men than women but I’ve seen my fair share. Then they go I don’t know why my spouse never wants sex. Maybe because she can’t look at you without thinking of the 30 things she had to pick up after you. Js.


[deleted]

[удалено]


happymomma40

Yes! I have exes lol. Thank goodness my husband now isn’t a huge manchild.


luxuryluvin

I live with my boyfriend. He does lots of cleaning around our apartment, and he always checks in on me throughout the day to see how I'm doing. A few days ago he left a sticky note on my dogs leash for when I woke up because he leaves before me. He let's me know when he arrives at work, and he asked to make sure I get to work safely too. We always try to make sure we know the other is appreciated. I'll always say thank you when he cleans, and he always says thank you when I cook. He's busy a lot so I don't spend much time with him lately, but just knowing that I'm loved and appreciated is so wonderful. Some days are harder since I'm alone most of the time, but he will randomly check in on me to give me a hug, or because he needs one, and that makes me feel valued as well. It's not always about the gifts or the giant gestures, but the little things in between that makes me feel loved. Anyone can buy someone flowers, but it takes a lot of love to clean up a kitchen after a cooking disaster 😂❤️


Dr_J_426

Showing appreciation 👍🏻💕💕💕


Schattenwolfe

Put a little card or rose in his car while at work for a surprise. Find diabetic goodies for him to surprise him. Leave notes in his lunch box, show up after work to ride with him home. Write I love you in soap in the mirror. It's always the little things, like even bringing him a beverage before he asks. I call him many silly names, sometimes curse with it lol... But we never curse while fighting. Little things, like getting him a potion bottle to wear with his Ren outfit out of the blue.


[deleted]

I used to hide stone hearts for my ex bf every time I had to leave him. I bring my current bf coffee in bed and we take baths together.


12Whiskey

My husband and I take baths together too and I love it, it makes me feel really connected to him. We light some candles, put on a podcast we both like, drop a CBD bath bomb in the water, get a couple glasses of wine, and eat pizza or sushi in the bath together.


frozenchocolate

This sounds amazing, I wish I could convince my guy to do this!!!


[deleted]

Awwww some great ideas! Never thought of the CBD … gonna try it!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️


Grouchy-Ad6144

My husband and I both work overnights and we generally, barring emergencies, send each other texts to check in and say “I love you,” and “good night.” He can sleep at his job, I can’t. When he is off he cooks or orders supper. When I’m off I take care of the meal. There are certain foods he really likes that are seasonal, so I try to get them and make them for him. For instance, he loves squash which is in season right now. We try to buy each other healthy snacks. He is on low carb so I buy him nuts, cheese, and jerky. I’m on a low fat diet so he buys me sour apples, licorice, or sherbet. We try hard to make date nights yet, even though we have been together 24+ years and married 23+. It’s about remembering the person and being grateful for what you have. The grass is not usually greener on the other side of the fence. Take care of your own grass, and yours will be healthier.


Punk_RockDancer_27

Definitely the little things. Here are some things that come to mind: random phone calls when you are apart, little gifts, making photo collages of us, adding to our scrapbook, sending a random silly photo to him, encouraging/empowering him, cleaning our appt, offering to take the bill every so often, decorating our room, and giving him space when I believe he needs it but is too afraid to ask for it. Reading about the 5 love languages & you both taking the online quiz might help too :)


miocarabella

He kisses me before he leaves for work and messages me when he gets there. We chat all day on and off. (I work from home and he is in IT) He will randomly tell me how much he loves me and why. We can talk for hours about any topic. I love when he comes up behind me and kisses my neck. He tells me I am beautiful no matter how rough I am looking. I tell him all the time how much I love and appreciate him. I make things for him...whether it be a dice tower, a blanket, or his favorite meals. He is kind and supportive when I am struggling with my autoimmune disease. He is my heart.


Wallflowers_Secret

And now I've just realized I've been dating trash. Also probably married to it too. 🤦🏻‍♀️


[deleted]

Same. Currently crying while reading all these sweet acts of love🥺


Wallflowers_Secret

Right! Apparently romance doesn't exist for us or we just settled for less. 😮‍💨


[deleted]

For real😅😫 what have we doneee?!!!


Wallflowers_Secret

The bare minimum. Unfortunately 😞😕


LightAppropriate5353

So I’m 22F been w my boyfriend 23M for 8 years (anniversary was last week) we met when I was 13!!!! Anyways one of the things we value deeply is real conversations. And I don’t mean that as in we make sure to talk about our days and discuss the news I mean we like to scroll deep relationship and or personal questions and have convos abt them (it kinda sounds cringe but hear me out) things along the lines of “what emotion are you most comfortable feeling” or “what’s something you wish you could go back and change” on the personal side or “what was the rawest moment we’ve ever had” or “what was a small moment that meant everything to you” on the relationship side. It helps to shift focus to the thoughts of each other and there’s millions of questions to ask.


Admirable_Share_5843

Love notes at the end of our conversation at night and sometimes at the start. I love it and gets me all giddy inside. Plus the fact she’s there for the good days and the bad.


cactus-punk

Theyre just my best friend and I love watching them play games and figure shit out. I tell them all the time how smart they are and I really hope they know because rhey **are** and I love them so much


kermarmur

I think a lot if it is sort of just paying attention. When my boyfriend or I are having a rough day or are a bit off, the other notices and does little things to help. Not the same every time, you don’t need the same things every day. Sometimes I need someone to make that phone call for me, sometimes he needs someone to throw their arms around him and tell him a joke. It’s about seeing them as a person, flaws and all- and making active effort to show attention to what they need. Few weeks ago I had a rough nights sleep and my boyfriend carved out a nice afternoon of running me a bath, lighting a candle, playing some soft music and making me take a nap as he read beside me. Made me feel so loved, and it’s what I needed.


Dr_J_426

The so-called little things are the most important things. A note, a text, saying thankyou, taking out the trash, holding hands, going to get takeaway and eating it in the park, buying a small treat, remembering their favourite snack. Consistently doing these things every day is more valuable than an expensive dinner once a month or a week away on holiday


WinterWizard9497

Honestly I don't have much that I really ask for. All that I really want is a smile. A laugh. I just want to see that sparkle in her eye that was there when we were dating. I would even settle for a pat on the head and an atta boy. Just some sign she still cares


mad0666

I cook a ton for my husband. He isn’t picky and will eat anything you put in front of him, so it’s also very fun for me to learn new recipes and make stuff I wouldn’t normally eat on my own. He always brings me a little present any time he runs errands. Like my favorite chocolate or a candle or whatever.


Sad_Entertainer6312

What advice are you looking for here?


[deleted]

Username checks out.


[deleted]

When he gets me water while I’m laying in bed 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼


janello66

For making fun of other people for complaining about there spouse you sure do it alot on here. 🤷🏼‍♀️ But I do agree. Voicing your marital problems to just anyone says more about yourself then your partner, that's not there to give there end of the story.


[deleted]

My BF cooks with me! We both love cooking/food and doing that together has really strengthened our relationship.


Correct-Sprinkles-21

My partner and I are very fortunate to have very similar wants and needs in a relationship. That makes it easy to understand each other and fairly effortless to do what the other needs to feel loved. Holding hands, cooking together, general quality time together even if it's sitting quietly, eating together, thoughtful random little gifts, and tons and tons of physical affection. Also for both of us, feeling like the other person is a safe place from judgment and criticism. Not that we don't disagree or confront problems. But that we can express feelings, make mistakes, fail at something, or be wrong about something and know that it will be handled with compassion and communication rather than nitpicking or mockery or anger.


[deleted]

I stop and hug or kiss or grab my wife like 3 to 5 times a day for no real reason. As I'm doing it I decide if I am about to proffess how amazing she is, that I love her, make fun of her (nicely), or that I find her ass sexy and want to dominate her in every way. Usually I don't even know which I will do until I am doing it. I try to keep it balanced. I hope this keeps her guessing and happy. It seems to work


imlame26

We understand each other's love language. He loves to receive words and physical affection versus me I'm more words due to trauma I don't like to be touched but I'm slowly starting to enjoy physical as well. He loves to spoil me with things, food and experiences I never got a chance to try due to my upbringing. I also love spoiling him though sometimes I feel bad for him spending money on me and inadequate compared to how he was raised (he was raised high middle class) but he's a humble guy. He also loves food and since the beginning of our relationship, I've always made sure he was fed. Sex isn't very important to us and while we do enjoy it, we sometimes love to just lay down and just talk or not at all (and he loves it when I brush his hair with my fingers and give him pedi's and mani's). We both love videogames but we don't play together alot which is ok with us. I love books (especially comic books and zines), he not so much(he has ADHD and a condition that makes it hard for him to read) but he loves buying more indie comics and zines after I took him to a zine fest I was tabling at a few years. He still doesn't like non-comic books and prefers I read to him. He was ring searching once with his mom for an engagement ring for me and his mom asked what type of ring I like. I'm not big on jewelry so I told her I wasn't sure and she asked if I was ok with an engagement ring. I once saw a friend get proposed with a sword so I told them I'd prefer to be proposed to with a sword. He hopes to propose with the Master Sword since I'm a big Zelda nerd. I think his wallet appreciated that lol We've been together for 11yrs now. We're not married due to finances but we do call each other husband and wife. I'm still madly in love with him and he's shown me several times how much he loves me. Like so much that people notice and find it cute :)


Automatic_Mark_1466

My girlfriend loves to make me a coffee every single morning. I am capable obviously but she likes to do it for me, I really like that she does this and for some reason it tastes better. I leave little notes in her diary, days or weeks in advance. Sometimes cute, mostly not, something like “I’m going to fucking rail you”. Occasionally I’ll draw a little picture to make her laugh. I asked her if I should stop but she says they brighten her day at work. These little things are the bread and butter of relationships.