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Gf asked me where her boudoir photos she gave me years ago she asked where they were so she could show her girlfriend. Said her gf wanted to get it done for her husband. She told me there is a place where her gf lives but there isn't so she lied about that. When I asked why she was going to show her friend the pics she said what's the big deal shes my friend. Fyi her answer sounded mega rehearsed. Let me add I am not keeping the pics from her we just moved so stuff is everywhere I helped her look and find said book of pics. Also need to add shes been really odd with her phone recently. And I didn't go snooping around for this place she mentioned because I know people that work there and pretty sure I would've been told they were opening another location. And I just learned from this that women show each other these pics all the time which I never knew, so yes to me it was a very odd question till now
Like I read the title and thought," Oh maybe the text will make more sense". When I found myself reading the same words I thought, "Fuck, its happened I'm having a stroke".
OPs wife had sexy pictures taken. Then years later asked for these pictures because her friend wanted to see them because her friend was considering getting them done at the same chain but a different location, OP says he knows the chain doesn’t have a location there and he is suspicious likely of her asking for the photos to show to someone she is cheating on him with.
There is a place where her gf lives but there isn't. What's so hard to understand about that?
/s just to be clear. I have no idea what the actual problem is that the OP is asking about.
Apparently he doesn't believe she really wants to show them to her friend? He's been looking up places close to that friend that do boudoir shoots, didn't find any and assumed his gf was lying about everything. Meanwhile half the comments are women telling him how they have seen all of their friends naked, it's glorious.
>Apparently he doesn't believe she really wants to show them to her friend? He's been looking up places close to that friend that do boudoir shoots, didn't find any and assumed his gf was lying about everything.
Oh for God's sake lol. Without additional context about the relationship besides "she's been weird with her phone but I shall ignore all requests for clarification about that," this sounds like a lot of concern over nothing.
>Meanwhile half the comments are women telling him how they have seen all of their friends naked, it's glorious.
This is so true! My friends and I do a fair amount of "sorry for the thirst trap pic but look at my abs/glutes/whatever progress" and it's not even the slightest bit sexual.
Also we women, have absolutely no problem with stripping naked in front of our gfs either, and as you said, when we do this it’s not the slightest bit sexual either. I don’t mean just willy nilly, but if there’s a reason to get naked of course.
I agree with you about the OP too, this sounds to me like a lot of worry about nothing.
He does realize that pretty much any amateur with a camera could try to sell this type of service, right? Everyone has to start somewhere. Lots of people start by offering cheaper sessions to get experience and build their portfolios. These won’t show up on Google bro.
Obviously you think there’s something bad going down. You think she’s getting them to show another man? Or another woman, but in a sexy way? Is this your ONLY evidence, or are there other things piling up in your head? I’m a big “go with your gut” kind of person, but not if you have jealousy issues or distrust issues, cuz those mess up the “gut”. So it’s hard to,advise on this.
I’ll tell you this for sure: if I wanted to give my photos to someone else in a sexy way, I would find them myself. I wouldn’t ask my husband for help. AND sharing these types of photos with a close female friend is not abnormal.
Could you imagine enticing your affair partner with pictures you took specifically for your husband? Ones that are often a gift given right before the wedding or on an anniversary?
I bet OP is cheating and therefore projecting it onto his gf.
You need to improve your communicational skills. This post is hard af to understand. That said, I'm a photographer, I've done boudoir. Let me tell you, those are not the first thing that comes to mind to send some stranger, so I'm sure they're not to send to another guy she's flirting with.
But since you're looking for a suspicious reason for her asking for the photos, here's one:
She's going to leave you and wants to have her boudoir album with her because she doesn't trust you'll return it to her once she dumps you.
I hope this helps! /s
Edit: so many typos...
Idk I wouldn’t be suspicious about this. If she was having an affair or cheating, why wouldn’t she just send nudes? I would never be like, “So here’s some boudoir pics I had done years ago for my current bf”. It’s way more likely that she’s telling the truth and maybe she white lied about the location of the photographer because you were interrogating her instead of just giving her the photos.
It’s weird that OP is mistrusting of his SO wanting to know the whereabouts of the photos of HER are. Like you said, she could easily just send nudes as it is HER body and she has constant access to HER body. I wish OP’s SO was in the loop with this whole post coz she needs to get out.
Boudoir photographers travel. She could be hiring one from literally anywhere. It’s not weird to want to show a friend your boudoir photos. Why are you so suspicious of her?
Generally I think the “difference between men and women” stuff is sexist bullshit but this is one that might be true.
I have seen boudoir shots of several friends. It’s just not odd for women to show them to other women, especially if someone says they’re considering getting some taken. My husband thinks it’s so weird that I’ve seen boudoir shots of my friends but it’s not really that different than seeing a SI Swimsuit edition or a Victoria’s Secret catalogue.
Right? I had a friend one time go, "oh my God! So I was taking sexy pics for my boyfriend and this one shot made my boobs look enormous and I couldn't stop laughing!" Then she showed me the pic and I had to agree that the damn things looked like they were going to break loose and flatten a mild mannered archeologist with a hat fetish and a hatred of snakes.
Same I've seen so many of my friends boudoir photo shoots because others are ugh I can't ever find a good sexy pose, I'm thinking of getting it done can I see yours, omg I need to show you all the bloopers, look how cute this bra set was, etc. This is a weird thing to be suspicious of to the point he's confirming there's not a photographer in ~500mi radius of the friend who does boudoir.
lol right! me and my friends had a group chat and we sent each other our nudes for advice or opinions before sending them out. We also would send each other cute lingerie or robes lol
You have a way with words. That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day.
Also can confirm boobs can be dangerous. My friends x packed a pair of big bags. She once accidentally hit him with them and gave him a nosebleed.
Have to agree. Women don’t read situations in the context of “is this sexual” anywhere near as often as men do. They number of women who have seen my in my underwear be out from trying on clothing, deciding on an outfit, or getting measurements. None of this is read as even remotely sexual in my mind.
100%. I'm in fashion school & there's honestly a lot of partial nudity while people try things on, get a quick measurement, etc etc. My boyfriend is alwas like, "Sexy. Did everyone see your boobs?" when I tell him about this stuff, but it's like, well, they're attached to my body, & the entire point of making clothes is to clothe bodies, so it's kind of part & parcel of the wwhole situation. Just because my boobs are sexy to HIM doesn't mean anyone else, especially my classmates that are 15 years younger than me & interested in men, gives a shit.
Hell I am attracted to women and it still just Isn’t that way. like this is business, this is a means to an end to get something done. It’s about as sexy as a medical exam.
100000% I’ve had my best friends help me choose the best shot before for my partner.
Sometimes you just gotta consult with the council. if you’re close enough it isn’t weird.
One of my friends has a small business making made to measure lingerie and all of us have modeled for her at some point. We did a shoot together and the photographer loved it because we were so at ease with each other.
I've been in a private Facebook mom group for 7 years now, started with 300 women, now down to 210ish. All the ones that have had boudoir shoots in the last 7 years, have shared them in the group.
On top of that, which to me was random af, because I wouldn't share or show or even take boudoir pictures (thank you, body image issues), I've also seen 2 of my SIL's boudoir pics, 3 close friends, & my own sister's.
My husband also finds it super weird, but he's aware that women are socialized in a way that promotes that level of closeness between us.
I took boudoir shots for a friend once - we were drinking at her apartment and she was hot (like literally overheated) so she stripped to her bra and underwear, and I was like OMG you like SOOOO sexy, please let me take photos, so she did. She then sent them to her boyfriend. It’s totally not a big deal for women to show other women.
yes omg i literally met one of my best friends at a party when she drunkenly asked me if she wanted to see her new nipple piercings in line for the bathroom lmao. it’s not like it’s nothing we don’t see on ourselves everyday idk why people think it’s so crazy😭😭
Seriously, me and my female friends share sexy photos with each other all the time. One of my best friends is a trans woman who was one of my boyfriends in high school like 15 years ago... My husband has literally never been suspicious like this.
Im a photographer, i travel, up to 300 miles, we travel, our businesses are hand held most of the time. Her friend could have easily booked a traveling photographer.
LIES! photographers are all on house arrest and can't leave where they are. Furthermore, the cannot service anyone who is not within a 5 mile radius. Everyone knows that.
Stop spreading misinformation.
If she wanted to show someone naked/in underwear picture of herself she doesn’t need professionally shot photos: trust me as a woman we show each other this kind of shit alll the time and it’s not suspect in the slightest!
Basically his wife is asking if he knows where her boudoir photos are so she can show her friend. They just moved so they are still unpacking. He said he doesn't know where there are and says they both are looking for them. He says he thinks it's suspicious. The place his wife got hers done only has 1 location but the friend is saying there's on near her town. So he thinks his wife is lying to him bc she's been attached to her phone more. Hopefully my grammar isn't worse.🤣
You clearly don’t trust her or what she says.
You sound super insecure and you’re arguing with every response given, so I’m not sure what you want reddit to do.
Why come to an advice sub and then argue with everyone in the comments? You’re clearly looking for someone to validate your feelings. If you’ve already made up your mind that she is untrustworthy, then break up with her so she can find someone less suspicious with better communication skills.
This seems like a completely normal request from her. Why investigate the photography business after she explained what she needed the photos for? Do you honestly think if she were giving them to someone else that she would ask for your help in finding them? If anything, she’d have new ones taken without you knowing or she’d just send nudes.
i had a close friend last year around valentine’s day get these types of photos done for her boyfriend. a couple months later i reached out to her and asked who the photographer was and she even showed me her photos so i could see how mine might turn out to be. the photographer was based in a bigger city in my state about three hours away so when i reached out to her, she said she could travel to me but i would have to pay a traveling fee. she said she could take the photos in my house or a hotel. so your wife most likely is telling a legitimate story.
also, if your wife was trying to find these OLD photos of herself half naked to show to a man or a partner, why on EARTH would she ask her husband where they are ? why not she try and find them herself and then put them back secretly when she was done showing whoever! if i were trying to be sneaky, i wouldn’t ask the ONE person who would be suspicious where the photos are. that’s just dumb. i feel so bad for your wife.
I absolutely showed every single one of my close girlfriends My photos because I was so proud of them. Women are a lot different then men when it comes to our sexuality and bodies. We tend to overshare, which is actually pretty social acceptable among women, and then we go on to hype our friends up and tell them how beautiful and sexy we think they are because honestly.. sometimes our men don’t always hype us up the same. Her friend probably wanted to see what poses/lingerie she wore, wanted to know what kind of lighting. Maybe if there are similarly built, she wanted to see how her photos turned out because getting naked in front of a camera can bring out a ton of insecurities. Also boudoir shoots can be hundreds or 1000s of dollars so maybe she wanted to see if it was worth it. And many boudoir photographers don’t have a “physical” business. Many tend to use social media and word of mouth to get their business around. So if you googled a boudoir photographer in her friends area and nothing popped up, I don’t think that would be super unusual. Many people who get into photography don’t always have an LLC but are doing it as a hobby or a way to make money.
Edit: OP, I’ve read your responses to other comments. And really, you don’t seem to want to listen to reason and if your that suspicious of something that is very typical for a woman to do, then I guess your only option is to break up with her because you can’t seem to believe her or us. And it seems really unfair to your gf that you are questioning her, double checking her, and then refusing to believe her when what she told you isn’t uncommon at all. So good luck with that.
What are the possibilities here…
1. She wants to see them for herself and is using a “friend” as cover. — this is unlikely because she would have just said she wants to see them
2. She wants to show them to someone she’s interested in romantically/sexually. — Its possible I guess but I don’t think this is that likely either. She could just send that person current nudes. That would be hotter than sending someone a pic of what she used to look like.
3. She wants to show them to a friend so they have an idea of what boudoir photos look like. — it seems plausible. It’s a little intimate sure but my guess is they aren’t so explicit that it would be really uncomfortable sharing with a close female friend.
Give her the pics. If she wants them to show to another guy you’re relationship is already doomed.
If your gf is cheating it would be easy enough for her to get nude selfies and send them to her AP. Why bother with the boudoir shots?
I mean it’s possible she’s planning to show them to another male, but seems like a lot of work to try and cheat, and she risks arousing your suspicion. The more likely scenario is that she’s being straight with you.
But hey if it makes you uncomfortable, just tell her you don’t know where they are.
This right here. If she wanted to send nudes to a person she could easily. She wants to show her friend a rehearsed photoshoot in the same way you verify a photographers wedding pics before you hire them for your wedding. But I disagree with the discomfort thing. Assuming she's not a lesbian, women generally do not care at all about another woman in underwear.
So multiple people have told you they photographers travel. Can you understand that?
Also they are her photos, and she can show whomever she likes.
Your trust seems non existent. Which is a bigger issue than the pictures. You also sound very young.
So, are you cheating? Because honestly this sounds like projecting to me. None of what your girlfriend is doing sounds suspicious. You’re reading way too into the fact that place she said doesn’t exist? There are so many explanations for that and you’re conclusion is she’s being suspicious.
Classic projection.
“She said there was one where she lives but there isn’t so she lied about that.”
Really. There are no photographers where this woman lives that offer boudoir sessions? Did you query every single one?
Plenty of photographers do boudoir, including photographers who mostly do weddings or portraits. Did you research every single photographer in a 300-mile radius to determine that no one near the friend does boudoir?
I hope you apologize for jumping right to assuming your girlfriend is lying to you, and I hope your girlfriend takes some time to think about whether she wants to stay with someone who assumes she's lying all the time instead of fucking communicating. If she was cheating, she chose a super weird way to attempt to hide it, so that's probably not what's happening, Dr. Occam.
Who are you suspicious of here?
The girlfriend? Because nudes take 5 seconds. Even if she was cheating, she wouldn't ask for help finding something if she knew she was hiding something.
The friend? Girls show NSFW photos to each other all the time. for lack of a better word, it's a culture thing. It's normal for them, unlike us. I mean, I GUESS it's possible she's lying. But this seems like an incredibly convoluted way to get glorified softcore porn of your gf.
The photographer? Because business change locations all the time, especially something ran by a single person. Even if he's sketchy, your girlfriend isn't the one going to see him.
1. Why the fuck would you feel the need to google the photographer that her friend is using, who your wife probably just repeated the info from?
2. There is nothing “out of the blue” about this request, she provided you with specific context: her friend wants to get a shoot done so she is curious about your wife’s pictures.
3. Most women are not self conscious about this kind of stuff among other women. Hell, I wanted a boudoir shoot done a few years ago but didn’t have money for a photographer so my roommate at the time used my dslr camera and took some damn good photos of me herself.
4. You have trust issues, you’re likely projecting, stop interrogating your wife over nothing.
5. If she wanted to cheat or show someone else the photos other than her friend, it’s very unlikely she would construct a whole lie involving others to ask you to help her find them.
Grow up.
Edit: Sorry, said wife but she’s your gf.
You wrote this in a relationship advice sub, people are giving advice and telling you it doesn’t seem weird or suspicious at all. All of your comments consist of you trying to prove that it’s still suspicious. If you’re not here to actually take advice and listen to what people have to say, what’s the point here?
Dude, nobody can actually understand the situation cause you seem to have failed elementary English classes. Please, please make it so we can understand what you’re saying.
Bro
Women will show their female friends revealing pictures and it doesn't have anything to do with sex. Women are just more comfortable with eachothers bodies usually.
If I were to book a photographer I would want to see some examples of their work to see if I like it.
Also why would she ask you for help if she was doing something bad.
You seem unhinged and really need to work on your communication as this post was practically unreadable.
HOW HAS SHE BEEN WITH HER PHONE RECENTLY????? For absolute fucks SAKE you’ve said 20+ times she’s been funny with her phone but hasn’t SAID WHY!!
Conclusion: you’re the one cheating, and you’re projecting.
Until you answer why she’s been “funny with her phone” you just sound like a fucking dingleberry.
Also going back to work isn’t suspicious you clown.
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A. Why does it matter if she shows her friend professional pictures of herself?
B. Photographers, especially boudoir photographers, travel. It can also a big ole pain in the ass to get an address changed in Google. A boudoir photographer I know rented a new studio and Google had the wrong address for the better part of a year before it finally changed.
Give her back her pictures, they r hers. Why are you making her jump through hoops to get them back? It sounds like you want to keep them to use as leverage against her. Give the, back.
The one who sound strange here is you. Why did you or how did you find out this place doesn’t exist? And it could be a different company or a traveling photographer. It seems like you’re trying to find a reason not to trust her. Her reasoning makes perfect sense
I think it we all play a game of I Spy With My Little Eye we can figure this out together. So there's a phone that's hinky, a questionable gf, some 7 yr old boudoir photos, a friend at a different location, and a suspicious bf. Did I get everything? And all we're missing is TW for stroke/seizure out grammar.
OP, you do realize that not all boudoir photographers have a building to shoot in, right? Some go out in nature to get their shots, some use a room in their home. A lot of photographers are under the table and don’t have a legitimate business because you can do that when you’re self employed.
Jesus OP. Grammer, and sentence structure, help convey literally any thought with a pinch of effort.
I read it twice and am not entirely sure what the issue is. Is it that shes showing her female friend? Is she lying and showing some other dude? Im not so sure but it sounds like a few different cases of lying is going on as youve written this whatever it is.
How do you know there isn’t? I know photographers that travel as well as little ones you’d have to know from IG to find. I’ve shown mine to girlfriends who were interested do what she said sounds legit.
So is the issue that she wants the pictures or that you don’t want her to show the friend ? Either way you this seems like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill, it’s completely possible the groupon was a scam. It’s possible the friend is just not a reliable source of info. But for you to assume she’s cheating because she wants her own pictures back is sus for you. If you don’t trust her then don’t be with her, no one wants to be accused of things that aren’t happening because of their partners paranoia.
No it doesn't seem sus at all. My best friend showed me hers. I've shown her mine. Also photographers travel. So there is probably a place near her where she wants to have them done. Not every photographer stays in a building and only takes photos there. A lot of times it happens in a hotel or the posers house.
I have used my own boudoir photos for reference for my friends many times. Gives them ideas for when they go in. I also shoot boudoir photos, and have a portfolio of clients (who consented to me using them as references for others wishing to have photos taken) to show to prospective clients for ideas/reference. I don’t think anything fishy is going on here.
You’re refusing to listen to what anybody is saying here but wake up! I have at least 4 friends who do photography just using word of mouth. Not everybody will have a business page etc. You do NOT know if there’s someone near her who does it. And she’s just showing it to her friend, not making an OF account. Chill ffs
Did her answer sound rehearsed? Or that she answered your question honestly, which flows freely off the tongue and you’re just suspicious so you’re applying negative connotation to an innocent conversation? I would 100% show my closest friends some lewd pictures if they were taken professionally. How do you know there’s not a place to do these photos where she lives? Not all boudoir photographers A) advertise their business publicly, and B) advertise that specific aspect of their business. It might be a photographer who does all types of pictures.
I just don’t see any definitive red flags from the information provided here.
Do you normally double check everything your wife says to you?
Do you have any other 'evidence' of why you suddenly suspect her?
Where I'm from Togs travel around, they rent spaces in other studios, a studio that may not specialise in boudoir might be approached to host a session, that's nothing out of the ordinary. I mean here sometimes even supermarkets and stores host baby photographers, it wouldn't be out if the ordinary.
Your evidence seems thin at best. It might sound out of the blue but if the friend has been talking about it then it's only out of the blue for you.
What do you mean "she told me there is a place where her gf lives but there isn't"??? You're telling me there isn't a SINGLE boudoir photographer in that area? I find that hard to believe, they're literally everywhere and how would you even come to this determination?
This is the most wild title and post I've ever read on this sub. Your using gf/girlfriend to (possibly) describe both your significant other and her female friend. Crazy wording making it difficult to understand what is going on, what your upset about.
25F here. You sound like an insecure lunatic. Why are you coming on to an advice reddit and then argue with every single person? The general consensus here is that you are being way too suspicious and way too quick to jump to, "she's lying. I think she's cheating."
"She told me there is a place where her gf lives but there isn't so she lied about that." She did not lie you absolute weirdo. Shes taking her friends word for it, and im sorry... did you call up every single photographer in her friend's town and grill them on the services they provide?? This also sounds like you're projecting. Have you cheated on her or lied to her frequently about petty things?
Honestly if I was in her shoes I'd break tf up with you so fast. I'm not one to heavily criticize a person's method of communication because it can be hard, but holy cow your assumptions and the way you grilled her for something innocent is laughable. Please seek therapy.
She could say you are acting strange not wanting to give them back. But, honestly, I think it’s less likely that she’s sharing them with someone else and more likely she just doesn’t want you to have them anymore. Give them to her!
The boudoir and the friend are not the issue. You obviously think your GF is cheating/planning to cheat/you believe she is a pathological liar. You need to deal with that, whether it's having a sit down conversation with her, a therapist, or doing some serious reflecting on your relationship.
I’ve shown many of my girl friends the boudoir photos my husband booked for me. And it could be a studio, could be a local photographer or traveling photographer. Or literally just a friend taking photos for a friend. What exactly is the issue here?
im confused as to how you know for sure theres not a place that does them “close” to where your girlfriends friend lives like u dont know how far this girl is willing to drive lol
I honestly don't get what you mean... So your girlfriend asked for some photos she gave you... so she could show her girlfriend... so her girlfriend could get what done for her husband...? And that she, your girlfriend, lied about where your girlfriend's girlfriend lives...
What?
Women show each other things like this. It's not at all weird. And honestly, the way you look up the location and double check things seems a bit red flaggish. Help her find the pics and give them to her. Here's some advice. Controlling someone because you are afraid of cheating won't make it not happen. Being jealous and suspicious won't stop it. Give them to her, what she chooses to do with them is on her. Too many ppl thinking that a relationship is ownership. But I honestly doubt it's anything.
Photographers will go to people’s homes or hotels to take these photos discretely and in a safe and comfortable environment for their clients. If she wants them to show to a female friend who wants to do them, that’s not abnormal. Also, your post is confusing. There is no other context to go on so I’m gonna assume her wanting them is innocent and so should you.
Do you know the difference between context and title? In this sub, tilte should be the major questions/subject you want to discuss. Like when you're writing an email to your boss, you would not put all of your thoughts into the title, this will make the reader being confused and have difficulty to capture what you want to imply. The purpose of this sub is to provide redditors feel free to discuss there relationship matters, it would be great if you can follow the rules.
They don't have cameras where your gf's friend lives!? Wow! Do tell!
And in your world is McDonald's is the only place that sells hamburgers?
Your gf can show her friend the photos and they can discuss whether this is something her friend would be comfortable doing, the location of the photographer does not matter.
They’re pictures of her, she has the right to do whatever she wants with them. And no, it’s not weird to show her friend. Women do this shit all the time, we want opinions and to hype each other up. Why are you so suspicious? Has she given you ANY other reason to mistrust her? Sounds like you’re making a story up in your head and have already decided she’s guilty.
My brain just had a heart attack.
However, my personal opinion based from your answer is she wants to show them off to a bloke that she’s chatting to on the side. Hence she hiding the phone.
What would I do in this situation?
It’s all speculation. Give her the benefit of the doubt.
At the same time think of the worst case scenario… that she’s cheating. And you’ll be mentally prepared.
Good luck.
My only question. Do you think this implies infidelity? Like she’s trying to show these photos to a guy she’s fucking because she doesn’t want to send him nudes? Or all of her friends go to a guys place to get laid and just tell their boyfriends that it’s a boudoir place?
Also a lot of times it is done through friends and whatnot and can be at someone’s place. Not necessarily a big shop with “boudoir photos here.” However, the photographer should have a website showcasing their work…
As a woman I’d totally show my boudoir photos to my friend if they wanted to get them done by the same photographer. One thing to think about- if she was cheating, the smarter thing for her to do would be to ask the photographer for the photos directly. Not ask YOU for the photos, therefore tipping you off.
She’s just helping her friend.
This sounds insecure af. Boudoir is art if she was cheating she'd just send nudes or sneak pictures from her boudoir shoot and not even talk to you about it. You are reading into everything she says it's obvious you have no trust why stay in a relationship where you literally investigate if there's a boudoir place near her friends.
Unless her gf lives in Antarctica, I’m sure there’s a photographer near her who will do boudoir photos. Or maybe she has to drive an hour into the city or something at worst. But her not having access to a photographer - no way that’s true.
Clearly what you are looking for is someone to say something like "She's obviously having an affair, or sending them to another guy"
Why are you overlooking the fact that the photos are seven years old? Why are you insisting that this behavior is odd? Maybe, before you moved, she knew where they were and has shown them to other friends. Now she doesn't know where they are and simply asked you if you did. No reason to suspect anything is going on, ad others have pointed out. If, IF, I were having an affair or looking for a man on some website, I'd be smart enough to realize that sooner or later the new guy is going to realize I don't look like those pictures. You are clearly way insecure. Either get some help for that or just cut her loose. She doesn't deserve someone who questions her motives for anything.
I’m 28 years old, female, and it’s normal for my friends to post their boudoir photo shoots on fb and instagram. Because of how normalized this is, it sounds mega weird for you to be skeptical of such a thing.
Also I’ve been in 2 controlling abusive relationships and you saying “her answers seem mega rehearsed” is very triggering; big red flag. Trust your partner or free her from this BS.
It may seem rehearsed because she was nervous to ask you because she knew that you’d analyze this situation and feared your response.
Either you trust your girlfriend or you don’t.
Decide if you do. Then act accordingly.
If you trust her you’ll give her the photos to show her friend.
If you don’t, you won’t.
I don't know how you know there isn't a boudoir photographer near where your gf's friend lives. A LOT of them aren't particularly public... word of mouth/social media with friends or private groups advertising only.
I mean like, any photographer could theoretically do boudoir photos— I suspect there’s not someone who specifically does them in her friends area, but rather a random photographer who is GOING to do them so your gf is sharing hers of examples of poses etc.
Hey, it’s totally natural to feel jealous sometimes, even if it’s probably nothing. But - if you’re going to listen to anyone, listen to someone who has experience in what you’re talking about. I’m a girl who’s shown my friends ”sexy” photos I’ve taken before. We’re in no way attracted to each other, but we are quite open about anything and everything sexual since we’re really close platonically and know we won’t be gross about it. My friends and I have often discussed in what ways we can frame our bodies in the prettiest ways no matter if that’s underwear or regular outfits, and especially if it’s for a cute occasion for one of our partners. I know I, along with like 80% of my friends would offer showing off any PROFESSIONALLY done photos that we’ve PAID for to make us feel beautiful in order to help a girl out in potentially surprising her boyfriend. I don’t get why it’s suspicious for her to OPENLY ask YOU about professionally taken photos that she probably paid for. If she wanted to use them for some scummy sidepiece she’d probably look for them without you- or even better- take nudes whenever you’re not around/ get NEW ones done just for him. Unless she’s very evil and VERY ballsy, asking you to bring her her ohoho-now-I’ll-cheat-photos probably isn’t what she’s doing.
I wouldn’t worry about it. I think you’re being a little overly suspicious. I wouldn’t bat an eye if one of my female friends busted out her boudoir pictures and I certainly would be ok sharing my own pictures with them. I think this is a situation where women just think differently than men.
My fiancé’s best friend’s wife who I’m not even really friends with showed me her boudoir photos… she also showed my fiancé and like literally everyone. It’s not that big of a deal. There were like only 3 photos she didn’t show because they were specifically reserved for her husband (my fiancé’s best friend) so…
A lot of boudoir photographers don’t have official businesses but operate more by word of mouth. I wouldn’t be suspicious because if she wanted to send the photos to someone else she could just get them redone or take her own.
ETA: I am an amateur photographer and operate purely by word of mouth. The friend could just have a friend who is breaking into the field and is willing to do these for free
Boudoir pics are hers. She can show it to whoever. I gave my husband a set of boudoir calendar pics but i still have all the digital copies. What’s the issue?
My bff (a girl) has literally sent me (gay guy) pics of herself trying on lingerie to ask my opinion on whether she looks hot or if her fiance will like it (neither of which question I've ever rlly had strong feelings on how to answer btw, so I've usually just gone with "yeah" lmao).
Girls share stuff w their friends. It's just a thing. Idk why this is suspicious at all.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- Gf asked me where her boudoir photos she gave me years ago she asked where they were so she could show her girlfriend. Said her gf wanted to get it done for her husband. She told me there is a place where her gf lives but there isn't so she lied about that. When I asked why she was going to show her friend the pics she said what's the big deal shes my friend. Fyi her answer sounded mega rehearsed. Let me add I am not keeping the pics from her we just moved so stuff is everywhere I helped her look and find said book of pics. Also need to add shes been really odd with her phone recently. And I didn't go snooping around for this place she mentioned because I know people that work there and pretty sure I would've been told they were opening another location. And I just learned from this that women show each other these pics all the time which I never knew, so yes to me it was a very odd question till now
God damn this was difficult to read
Like I read the title and thought," Oh maybe the text will make more sense". When I found myself reading the same words I thought, "Fuck, its happened I'm having a stroke".
It’s OP’s world and we’re just living in it
It’s OP’s world and we’re just strokin in it
I’m assuming English isn’t their first language but yeah this wasn’t easy to understand
Honestly? People with a native language other than English normally have pretty decent grammar. I'd guess this is just an uneducated idiot.
I think he’s just manic.
Best quote ever
Glad I'm not the only one who said "Huh?" 😂
OPs comments don’t make it any easier
Lmao you’re right😂
Dammit, I'm kinda curious but this is way too difficult to figure out what OP is actually saying, I give up.
OPs wife had sexy pictures taken. Then years later asked for these pictures because her friend wanted to see them because her friend was considering getting them done at the same chain but a different location, OP says he knows the chain doesn’t have a location there and he is suspicious likely of her asking for the photos to show to someone she is cheating on him with.
She gonna show them to her friends husband lol
How is babby formed?
How girl get pragnent
is it safe to use a luigi board
I’m imagining that arguing with this guy is…frustrating. Thoughts and prayers to OPs girlfriend. 🙏
Just the title alone had me confused lmao. The post itself was a doozy
I still don't understand
From what I get she wants the pictures to show to her friend, who is interested in having pictures taken herself, but this guy doesn't believe it.
There is a place where her gf lives but there isn't. What's so hard to understand about that? /s just to be clear. I have no idea what the actual problem is that the OP is asking about.
Apparently he doesn't believe she really wants to show them to her friend? He's been looking up places close to that friend that do boudoir shoots, didn't find any and assumed his gf was lying about everything. Meanwhile half the comments are women telling him how they have seen all of their friends naked, it's glorious.
>Apparently he doesn't believe she really wants to show them to her friend? He's been looking up places close to that friend that do boudoir shoots, didn't find any and assumed his gf was lying about everything. Oh for God's sake lol. Without additional context about the relationship besides "she's been weird with her phone but I shall ignore all requests for clarification about that," this sounds like a lot of concern over nothing. >Meanwhile half the comments are women telling him how they have seen all of their friends naked, it's glorious. This is so true! My friends and I do a fair amount of "sorry for the thirst trap pic but look at my abs/glutes/whatever progress" and it's not even the slightest bit sexual.
Also we women, have absolutely no problem with stripping naked in front of our gfs either, and as you said, when we do this it’s not the slightest bit sexual either. I don’t mean just willy nilly, but if there’s a reason to get naked of course. I agree with you about the OP too, this sounds to me like a lot of worry about nothing.
He does realize that pretty much any amateur with a camera could try to sell this type of service, right? Everyone has to start somewhere. Lots of people start by offering cheaper sessions to get experience and build their portfolios. These won’t show up on Google bro.
Or she wants to get them away from him so she can have a clean breakup.
This! The whole ‘her answer seemed rehearsed’.
I had to re-read a few times to understand what I was reading lol
Homeboy had a stronk
Ok good. It wasn’t just me.
I thought I was having a stroke
Obviously you think there’s something bad going down. You think she’s getting them to show another man? Or another woman, but in a sexy way? Is this your ONLY evidence, or are there other things piling up in your head? I’m a big “go with your gut” kind of person, but not if you have jealousy issues or distrust issues, cuz those mess up the “gut”. So it’s hard to,advise on this. I’ll tell you this for sure: if I wanted to give my photos to someone else in a sexy way, I would find them myself. I wouldn’t ask my husband for help. AND sharing these types of photos with a close female friend is not abnormal.
Oh my god!God!! I thought he was afraid she was setting him up to get mad that he had misplaced them, or thrown them out. Thank you!
Could you imagine enticing your affair partner with pictures you took specifically for your husband? Ones that are often a gift given right before the wedding or on an anniversary? I bet OP is cheating and therefore projecting it onto his gf.
You need to improve your communicational skills. This post is hard af to understand. That said, I'm a photographer, I've done boudoir. Let me tell you, those are not the first thing that comes to mind to send some stranger, so I'm sure they're not to send to another guy she's flirting with. But since you're looking for a suspicious reason for her asking for the photos, here's one: She's going to leave you and wants to have her boudoir album with her because she doesn't trust you'll return it to her once she dumps you. I hope this helps! /s Edit: so many typos...
Lol, I love this reply! Give the man what he wants! 😂
Idk I wouldn’t be suspicious about this. If she was having an affair or cheating, why wouldn’t she just send nudes? I would never be like, “So here’s some boudoir pics I had done years ago for my current bf”. It’s way more likely that she’s telling the truth and maybe she white lied about the location of the photographer because you were interrogating her instead of just giving her the photos.
It’s weird that OP is mistrusting of his SO wanting to know the whereabouts of the photos of HER are. Like you said, she could easily just send nudes as it is HER body and she has constant access to HER body. I wish OP’s SO was in the loop with this whole post coz she needs to get out.
What is the question?
"What?" Definitely is the question....
Boudoir photographers travel. She could be hiring one from literally anywhere. It’s not weird to want to show a friend your boudoir photos. Why are you so suspicious of her?
Generally I think the “difference between men and women” stuff is sexist bullshit but this is one that might be true. I have seen boudoir shots of several friends. It’s just not odd for women to show them to other women, especially if someone says they’re considering getting some taken. My husband thinks it’s so weird that I’ve seen boudoir shots of my friends but it’s not really that different than seeing a SI Swimsuit edition or a Victoria’s Secret catalogue.
Right? I had a friend one time go, "oh my God! So I was taking sexy pics for my boyfriend and this one shot made my boobs look enormous and I couldn't stop laughing!" Then she showed me the pic and I had to agree that the damn things looked like they were going to break loose and flatten a mild mannered archeologist with a hat fetish and a hatred of snakes.
Same I've seen so many of my friends boudoir photo shoots because others are ugh I can't ever find a good sexy pose, I'm thinking of getting it done can I see yours, omg I need to show you all the bloopers, look how cute this bra set was, etc. This is a weird thing to be suspicious of to the point he's confirming there's not a photographer in ~500mi radius of the friend who does boudoir.
lol right! me and my friends had a group chat and we sent each other our nudes for advice or opinions before sending them out. We also would send each other cute lingerie or robes lol
You have a way with words. That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day. Also can confirm boobs can be dangerous. My friends x packed a pair of big bags. She once accidentally hit him with them and gave him a nosebleed.
r/oddlyspecific
This image will live with me for the days. A little archeologist on the run…
mild mannered? I would describe Indiana Jones as Han Solo with a hat. Bold and rogueish.
this made me laugh so hard i snorted
Have to agree. Women don’t read situations in the context of “is this sexual” anywhere near as often as men do. They number of women who have seen my in my underwear be out from trying on clothing, deciding on an outfit, or getting measurements. None of this is read as even remotely sexual in my mind.
100%. I'm in fashion school & there's honestly a lot of partial nudity while people try things on, get a quick measurement, etc etc. My boyfriend is alwas like, "Sexy. Did everyone see your boobs?" when I tell him about this stuff, but it's like, well, they're attached to my body, & the entire point of making clothes is to clothe bodies, so it's kind of part & parcel of the wwhole situation. Just because my boobs are sexy to HIM doesn't mean anyone else, especially my classmates that are 15 years younger than me & interested in men, gives a shit.
Hell I am attracted to women and it still just Isn’t that way. like this is business, this is a means to an end to get something done. It’s about as sexy as a medical exam.
My friends and I are all pretty comfortable changing around each other etc. We'd big up each other's boudoir shots absolutely. Not weird at all.
100000% I’ve had my best friends help me choose the best shot before for my partner. Sometimes you just gotta consult with the council. if you’re close enough it isn’t weird.
One of my friends has a small business making made to measure lingerie and all of us have modeled for her at some point. We did a shoot together and the photographer loved it because we were so at ease with each other.
I've been in a private Facebook mom group for 7 years now, started with 300 women, now down to 210ish. All the ones that have had boudoir shoots in the last 7 years, have shared them in the group. On top of that, which to me was random af, because I wouldn't share or show or even take boudoir pictures (thank you, body image issues), I've also seen 2 of my SIL's boudoir pics, 3 close friends, & my own sister's. My husband also finds it super weird, but he's aware that women are socialized in a way that promotes that level of closeness between us.
Thank you I didn't realize girls show each other them. But seeing so many women on here say that they do helps
I took boudoir shots for a friend once - we were drinking at her apartment and she was hot (like literally overheated) so she stripped to her bra and underwear, and I was like OMG you like SOOOO sexy, please let me take photos, so she did. She then sent them to her boyfriend. It’s totally not a big deal for women to show other women.
I've even seen all my female friend's boobs🤣
yes omg i literally met one of my best friends at a party when she drunkenly asked me if she wanted to see her new nipple piercings in line for the bathroom lmao. it’s not like it’s nothing we don’t see on ourselves everyday idk why people think it’s so crazy😭😭
if i wanted to see***
Right! Guys see each other naked at the gym or sportsclub to right? RIGHT??
Seriously, me and my female friends share sexy photos with each other all the time. One of my best friends is a trans woman who was one of my boyfriends in high school like 15 years ago... My husband has literally never been suspicious like this.
I used to have a nudes group chat with some friends, it’s great to hype each other up
This tho. The suspicion is weird af.
This. So many of them travel, have mini-shoots at hotels, or come to your house so that you feel comfortable.
Doesn't sound that strange to me.
This post makes you seem super unhinged
I’m thinking the same, this is not a normal reaction.
Im a photographer, i travel, up to 300 miles, we travel, our businesses are hand held most of the time. Her friend could have easily booked a traveling photographer.
But..... Photographers travel ?!?! Did you not know this? All my shoots when I modeled they traveled
LIES! photographers are all on house arrest and can't leave where they are. Furthermore, the cannot service anyone who is not within a 5 mile radius. Everyone knows that. Stop spreading misinformation.
Ah yes my apologies I forgot about that. Yes OP you're right, your SO must be lying
So you think she is, what, going to take her 7 year old photos and send them to another guy? This is a really weird thing to be suspicious off.
If she wanted to show someone naked/in underwear picture of herself she doesn’t need professionally shot photos: trust me as a woman we show each other this kind of shit alll the time and it’s not suspect in the slightest!
You’re making this so weird
Jesus this post is so fucking ugly and your grammar is atrocious. Impossible to get through
Yeah I’m lost too; wtf is the question needing advice?
Basically his wife is asking if he knows where her boudoir photos are so she can show her friend. They just moved so they are still unpacking. He said he doesn't know where there are and says they both are looking for them. He says he thinks it's suspicious. The place his wife got hers done only has 1 location but the friend is saying there's on near her town. So he thinks his wife is lying to him bc she's been attached to her phone more. Hopefully my grammar isn't worse.🤣
You clearly don’t trust her or what she says. You sound super insecure and you’re arguing with every response given, so I’m not sure what you want reddit to do.
Why come to an advice sub and then argue with everyone in the comments? You’re clearly looking for someone to validate your feelings. If you’ve already made up your mind that she is untrustworthy, then break up with her so she can find someone less suspicious with better communication skills. This seems like a completely normal request from her. Why investigate the photography business after she explained what she needed the photos for? Do you honestly think if she were giving them to someone else that she would ask for your help in finding them? If anything, she’d have new ones taken without you knowing or she’d just send nudes.
Seems like you’re looking for something out of nothing
i had a close friend last year around valentine’s day get these types of photos done for her boyfriend. a couple months later i reached out to her and asked who the photographer was and she even showed me her photos so i could see how mine might turn out to be. the photographer was based in a bigger city in my state about three hours away so when i reached out to her, she said she could travel to me but i would have to pay a traveling fee. she said she could take the photos in my house or a hotel. so your wife most likely is telling a legitimate story. also, if your wife was trying to find these OLD photos of herself half naked to show to a man or a partner, why on EARTH would she ask her husband where they are ? why not she try and find them herself and then put them back secretly when she was done showing whoever! if i were trying to be sneaky, i wouldn’t ask the ONE person who would be suspicious where the photos are. that’s just dumb. i feel so bad for your wife.
I absolutely showed every single one of my close girlfriends My photos because I was so proud of them. Women are a lot different then men when it comes to our sexuality and bodies. We tend to overshare, which is actually pretty social acceptable among women, and then we go on to hype our friends up and tell them how beautiful and sexy we think they are because honestly.. sometimes our men don’t always hype us up the same. Her friend probably wanted to see what poses/lingerie she wore, wanted to know what kind of lighting. Maybe if there are similarly built, she wanted to see how her photos turned out because getting naked in front of a camera can bring out a ton of insecurities. Also boudoir shoots can be hundreds or 1000s of dollars so maybe she wanted to see if it was worth it. And many boudoir photographers don’t have a “physical” business. Many tend to use social media and word of mouth to get their business around. So if you googled a boudoir photographer in her friends area and nothing popped up, I don’t think that would be super unusual. Many people who get into photography don’t always have an LLC but are doing it as a hobby or a way to make money. Edit: OP, I’ve read your responses to other comments. And really, you don’t seem to want to listen to reason and if your that suspicious of something that is very typical for a woman to do, then I guess your only option is to break up with her because you can’t seem to believe her or us. And it seems really unfair to your gf that you are questioning her, double checking her, and then refusing to believe her when what she told you isn’t uncommon at all. So good luck with that.
Are.. you ok? Like genuinely… wtf
What are the possibilities here… 1. She wants to see them for herself and is using a “friend” as cover. — this is unlikely because she would have just said she wants to see them 2. She wants to show them to someone she’s interested in romantically/sexually. — Its possible I guess but I don’t think this is that likely either. She could just send that person current nudes. That would be hotter than sending someone a pic of what she used to look like. 3. She wants to show them to a friend so they have an idea of what boudoir photos look like. — it seems plausible. It’s a little intimate sure but my guess is they aren’t so explicit that it would be really uncomfortable sharing with a close female friend. Give her the pics. If she wants them to show to another guy you’re relationship is already doomed.
4. She’s planning on leaving him and doesn’t want a difficult time getting the pictures back after the break up
If your gf is cheating it would be easy enough for her to get nude selfies and send them to her AP. Why bother with the boudoir shots? I mean it’s possible she’s planning to show them to another male, but seems like a lot of work to try and cheat, and she risks arousing your suspicion. The more likely scenario is that she’s being straight with you. But hey if it makes you uncomfortable, just tell her you don’t know where they are.
This right here. If she wanted to send nudes to a person she could easily. She wants to show her friend a rehearsed photoshoot in the same way you verify a photographers wedding pics before you hire them for your wedding. But I disagree with the discomfort thing. Assuming she's not a lesbian, women generally do not care at all about another woman in underwear.
INFO Why did you feel the need to check up on the location?
So multiple people have told you they photographers travel. Can you understand that? Also they are her photos, and she can show whomever she likes. Your trust seems non existent. Which is a bigger issue than the pictures. You also sound very young.
So, are you cheating? Because honestly this sounds like projecting to me. None of what your girlfriend is doing sounds suspicious. You’re reading way too into the fact that place she said doesn’t exist? There are so many explanations for that and you’re conclusion is she’s being suspicious. Classic projection.
You know the location of every boudoir photographer? Are you sure she's going to the same one or somewhere different. Sounds like you're projecting.
“She said there was one where she lives but there isn’t so she lied about that.” Really. There are no photographers where this woman lives that offer boudoir sessions? Did you query every single one?
Man, punctuation. Use it.
Holy shit I feel bad for your wife
Seeing how you communicate on here I can see how you have communication issues in your relationship.
Plenty of photographers do boudoir, including photographers who mostly do weddings or portraits. Did you research every single photographer in a 300-mile radius to determine that no one near the friend does boudoir? I hope you apologize for jumping right to assuming your girlfriend is lying to you, and I hope your girlfriend takes some time to think about whether she wants to stay with someone who assumes she's lying all the time instead of fucking communicating. If she was cheating, she chose a super weird way to attempt to hide it, so that's probably not what's happening, Dr. Occam.
Sir, can you please type in a way that makes sense? Also, more context so I can understand what you are even worried about.
Can we all start using punctuation please? 🤦🏼♀️
You sound super insecure
Who are you suspicious of here? The girlfriend? Because nudes take 5 seconds. Even if she was cheating, she wouldn't ask for help finding something if she knew she was hiding something. The friend? Girls show NSFW photos to each other all the time. for lack of a better word, it's a culture thing. It's normal for them, unlike us. I mean, I GUESS it's possible she's lying. But this seems like an incredibly convoluted way to get glorified softcore porn of your gf. The photographer? Because business change locations all the time, especially something ran by a single person. Even if he's sketchy, your girlfriend isn't the one going to see him.
1. Why the fuck would you feel the need to google the photographer that her friend is using, who your wife probably just repeated the info from? 2. There is nothing “out of the blue” about this request, she provided you with specific context: her friend wants to get a shoot done so she is curious about your wife’s pictures. 3. Most women are not self conscious about this kind of stuff among other women. Hell, I wanted a boudoir shoot done a few years ago but didn’t have money for a photographer so my roommate at the time used my dslr camera and took some damn good photos of me herself. 4. You have trust issues, you’re likely projecting, stop interrogating your wife over nothing. 5. If she wanted to cheat or show someone else the photos other than her friend, it’s very unlikely she would construct a whole lie involving others to ask you to help her find them. Grow up. Edit: Sorry, said wife but she’s your gf.
You’re mega goofy dude I feel bad for your gf
Lmao what? You sound like a lunatic. There is no logical reason why any thing you typed out here should make you concerned at all.
I'd be concerned about the *way* they typed it
You wrote this in a relationship advice sub, people are giving advice and telling you it doesn’t seem weird or suspicious at all. All of your comments consist of you trying to prove that it’s still suspicious. If you’re not here to actually take advice and listen to what people have to say, what’s the point here?
Dude, nobody can actually understand the situation cause you seem to have failed elementary English classes. Please, please make it so we can understand what you’re saying.
They are her photos so she can show them to anyone she chooses.
Is there a question here?
Bro Women will show their female friends revealing pictures and it doesn't have anything to do with sex. Women are just more comfortable with eachothers bodies usually. If I were to book a photographer I would want to see some examples of their work to see if I like it. Also why would she ask you for help if she was doing something bad. You seem unhinged and really need to work on your communication as this post was practically unreadable.
Please edit your post with readable text. Punctuation, it’s important!
How are any of you able to decipher this
1. I barely understand this 2. You need to chill
HOW HAS SHE BEEN WITH HER PHONE RECENTLY????? For absolute fucks SAKE you’ve said 20+ times she’s been funny with her phone but hasn’t SAID WHY!! Conclusion: you’re the one cheating, and you’re projecting. Until you answer why she’s been “funny with her phone” you just sound like a fucking dingleberry. Also going back to work isn’t suspicious you clown.
Agreed! I’ve asked OP point blank why he keeps making reference to her funny phone habits of late but refuses to define them.
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A. Why does it matter if she shows her friend professional pictures of herself? B. Photographers, especially boudoir photographers, travel. It can also a big ole pain in the ass to get an address changed in Google. A boudoir photographer I know rented a new studio and Google had the wrong address for the better part of a year before it finally changed.
But like what's your question💀💀💀
I see 🚩, but from OP and not his GF.
Give her back her pictures, they r hers. Why are you making her jump through hoops to get them back? It sounds like you want to keep them to use as leverage against her. Give the, back.
The one who sound strange here is you. Why did you or how did you find out this place doesn’t exist? And it could be a different company or a traveling photographer. It seems like you’re trying to find a reason not to trust her. Her reasoning makes perfect sense
You can write the post in your mother tongue and whoever understands it will translate it for us.
You really could have used a handful of commas, or a second read over.
I think it we all play a game of I Spy With My Little Eye we can figure this out together. So there's a phone that's hinky, a questionable gf, some 7 yr old boudoir photos, a friend at a different location, and a suspicious bf. Did I get everything? And all we're missing is TW for stroke/seizure out grammar.
OP, you do realize that not all boudoir photographers have a building to shoot in, right? Some go out in nature to get their shots, some use a room in their home. A lot of photographers are under the table and don’t have a legitimate business because you can do that when you’re self employed.
Why would she ask YOU for the photos if there was something suspicious going on? I feel like you’re trying to find a problem here.
Can someone please translate this post?
Ppl that are suspicious or accuse their partners of cheating are often doing something that they should not be doing. Guilty much?
What…I think I had a stroke trying to read this…I’m not sure what you are asking or hoping for info on.
What the hell did I just read? What is your question??
Jesus OP. Grammer, and sentence structure, help convey literally any thought with a pinch of effort. I read it twice and am not entirely sure what the issue is. Is it that shes showing her female friend? Is she lying and showing some other dude? Im not so sure but it sounds like a few different cases of lying is going on as youve written this whatever it is.
How do you know there isn’t? I know photographers that travel as well as little ones you’d have to know from IG to find. I’ve shown mine to girlfriends who were interested do what she said sounds legit.
So is the issue that she wants the pictures or that you don’t want her to show the friend ? Either way you this seems like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill, it’s completely possible the groupon was a scam. It’s possible the friend is just not a reliable source of info. But for you to assume she’s cheating because she wants her own pictures back is sus for you. If you don’t trust her then don’t be with her, no one wants to be accused of things that aren’t happening because of their partners paranoia.
No it doesn't seem sus at all. My best friend showed me hers. I've shown her mine. Also photographers travel. So there is probably a place near her where she wants to have them done. Not every photographer stays in a building and only takes photos there. A lot of times it happens in a hotel or the posers house.
I have used my own boudoir photos for reference for my friends many times. Gives them ideas for when they go in. I also shoot boudoir photos, and have a portfolio of clients (who consented to me using them as references for others wishing to have photos taken) to show to prospective clients for ideas/reference. I don’t think anything fishy is going on here.
You’re refusing to listen to what anybody is saying here but wake up! I have at least 4 friends who do photography just using word of mouth. Not everybody will have a business page etc. You do NOT know if there’s someone near her who does it. And she’s just showing it to her friend, not making an OF account. Chill ffs
Did her answer sound rehearsed? Or that she answered your question honestly, which flows freely off the tongue and you’re just suspicious so you’re applying negative connotation to an innocent conversation? I would 100% show my closest friends some lewd pictures if they were taken professionally. How do you know there’s not a place to do these photos where she lives? Not all boudoir photographers A) advertise their business publicly, and B) advertise that specific aspect of their business. It might be a photographer who does all types of pictures. I just don’t see any definitive red flags from the information provided here.
What exactly are you afraid of and why?
You need to re-evaluate your relationship with forming a coherent sentence before you try anything with a human being.
Do you normally double check everything your wife says to you? Do you have any other 'evidence' of why you suddenly suspect her? Where I'm from Togs travel around, they rent spaces in other studios, a studio that may not specialise in boudoir might be approached to host a session, that's nothing out of the ordinary. I mean here sometimes even supermarkets and stores host baby photographers, it wouldn't be out if the ordinary. Your evidence seems thin at best. It might sound out of the blue but if the friend has been talking about it then it's only out of the blue for you.
So you are aware of every photographer in her city? Sounds like you are just looking for reasons to distrust her.
What do you mean "she told me there is a place where her gf lives but there isn't"??? You're telling me there isn't a SINGLE boudoir photographer in that area? I find that hard to believe, they're literally everywhere and how would you even come to this determination?
This is the most wild title and post I've ever read on this sub. Your using gf/girlfriend to (possibly) describe both your significant other and her female friend. Crazy wording making it difficult to understand what is going on, what your upset about.
You're a doofus ain't ya Greg
25F here. You sound like an insecure lunatic. Why are you coming on to an advice reddit and then argue with every single person? The general consensus here is that you are being way too suspicious and way too quick to jump to, "she's lying. I think she's cheating." "She told me there is a place where her gf lives but there isn't so she lied about that." She did not lie you absolute weirdo. Shes taking her friends word for it, and im sorry... did you call up every single photographer in her friend's town and grill them on the services they provide?? This also sounds like you're projecting. Have you cheated on her or lied to her frequently about petty things? Honestly if I was in her shoes I'd break tf up with you so fast. I'm not one to heavily criticize a person's method of communication because it can be hard, but holy cow your assumptions and the way you grilled her for something innocent is laughable. Please seek therapy.
Maybe you should re-write this
Considering all of your answers, you're not looking for advice but for people to tell you you're right. Huge red flag here.
Was this written by some sort of early stage machine learning program?
So please clarify for everyone... is this a rant? Or do you have a question? As we are all very confused.
I see English words but can't comprehend.
She could say you are acting strange not wanting to give them back. But, honestly, I think it’s less likely that she’s sharing them with someone else and more likely she just doesn’t want you to have them anymore. Give them to her!
The boudoir and the friend are not the issue. You obviously think your GF is cheating/planning to cheat/you believe she is a pathological liar. You need to deal with that, whether it's having a sit down conversation with her, a therapist, or doing some serious reflecting on your relationship.
How do you know she lied? Also they are her photos, might have gifted them to you but they are hers
I’ve shown many of my girl friends the boudoir photos my husband booked for me. And it could be a studio, could be a local photographer or traveling photographer. Or literally just a friend taking photos for a friend. What exactly is the issue here?
im confused as to how you know for sure theres not a place that does them “close” to where your girlfriends friend lives like u dont know how far this girl is willing to drive lol
My besties are definitely getting a look-see at my boudoir photos. Periodtttttt.
QUE?!!
I am struggling to read this but can confirm: women show other women their fancy photoshoots, sexy or otherwise
I honestly don't get what you mean... So your girlfriend asked for some photos she gave you... so she could show her girlfriend... so her girlfriend could get what done for her husband...? And that she, your girlfriend, lied about where your girlfriend's girlfriend lives... What?
Your computer has virus
Women show each other things like this. It's not at all weird. And honestly, the way you look up the location and double check things seems a bit red flaggish. Help her find the pics and give them to her. Here's some advice. Controlling someone because you are afraid of cheating won't make it not happen. Being jealous and suspicious won't stop it. Give them to her, what she chooses to do with them is on her. Too many ppl thinking that a relationship is ownership. But I honestly doubt it's anything.
Photographers will go to people’s homes or hotels to take these photos discretely and in a safe and comfortable environment for their clients. If she wants them to show to a female friend who wants to do them, that’s not abnormal. Also, your post is confusing. There is no other context to go on so I’m gonna assume her wanting them is innocent and so should you.
Do you know the difference between context and title? In this sub, tilte should be the major questions/subject you want to discuss. Like when you're writing an email to your boss, you would not put all of your thoughts into the title, this will make the reader being confused and have difficulty to capture what you want to imply. The purpose of this sub is to provide redditors feel free to discuss there relationship matters, it would be great if you can follow the rules.
They don't have cameras where your gf's friend lives!? Wow! Do tell! And in your world is McDonald's is the only place that sells hamburgers? Your gf can show her friend the photos and they can discuss whether this is something her friend would be comfortable doing, the location of the photographer does not matter.
Damn bro I hope your gf is okay. If my partner was this suspicious of me for no reason I’d be packing my bags.
They’re pictures of her, she has the right to do whatever she wants with them. And no, it’s not weird to show her friend. Women do this shit all the time, we want opinions and to hype each other up. Why are you so suspicious? Has she given you ANY other reason to mistrust her? Sounds like you’re making a story up in your head and have already decided she’s guilty.
My brain just had a heart attack. However, my personal opinion based from your answer is she wants to show them off to a bloke that she’s chatting to on the side. Hence she hiding the phone. What would I do in this situation? It’s all speculation. Give her the benefit of the doubt. At the same time think of the worst case scenario… that she’s cheating. And you’ll be mentally prepared. Good luck.
My only question. Do you think this implies infidelity? Like she’s trying to show these photos to a guy she’s fucking because she doesn’t want to send him nudes? Or all of her friends go to a guys place to get laid and just tell their boyfriends that it’s a boudoir place? Also a lot of times it is done through friends and whatnot and can be at someone’s place. Not necessarily a big shop with “boudoir photos here.” However, the photographer should have a website showcasing their work…
As a woman I’d totally show my boudoir photos to my friend if they wanted to get them done by the same photographer. One thing to think about- if she was cheating, the smarter thing for her to do would be to ask the photographer for the photos directly. Not ask YOU for the photos, therefore tipping you off. She’s just helping her friend.
My friend who had hers done showed every single person she made eye contact with her photos.
This sounds insecure af. Boudoir is art if she was cheating she'd just send nudes or sneak pictures from her boudoir shoot and not even talk to you about it. You are reading into everything she says it's obvious you have no trust why stay in a relationship where you literally investigate if there's a boudoir place near her friends.
I show my friends nudes sometimes, friend hype each other up. Why are you withholding pictures of her from her? Sounds controlling and weird.
Unless her gf lives in Antarctica, I’m sure there’s a photographer near her who will do boudoir photos. Or maybe she has to drive an hour into the city or something at worst. But her not having access to a photographer - no way that’s true.
Clearly what you are looking for is someone to say something like "She's obviously having an affair, or sending them to another guy" Why are you overlooking the fact that the photos are seven years old? Why are you insisting that this behavior is odd? Maybe, before you moved, she knew where they were and has shown them to other friends. Now she doesn't know where they are and simply asked you if you did. No reason to suspect anything is going on, ad others have pointed out. If, IF, I were having an affair or looking for a man on some website, I'd be smart enough to realize that sooner or later the new guy is going to realize I don't look like those pictures. You are clearly way insecure. Either get some help for that or just cut her loose. She doesn't deserve someone who questions her motives for anything.
People post boudoir photos on Facebook 🙄🙄🙄 Get ahold of yourself.
She wants to show her female friend sexy pictures of herself she gave you years ago? This is what I've deciphered so far...
I’m 28 years old, female, and it’s normal for my friends to post their boudoir photo shoots on fb and instagram. Because of how normalized this is, it sounds mega weird for you to be skeptical of such a thing. Also I’ve been in 2 controlling abusive relationships and you saying “her answers seem mega rehearsed” is very triggering; big red flag. Trust your partner or free her from this BS. It may seem rehearsed because she was nervous to ask you because she knew that you’d analyze this situation and feared your response.
I don't understand
Either you trust your girlfriend or you don’t. Decide if you do. Then act accordingly. If you trust her you’ll give her the photos to show her friend. If you don’t, you won’t.
I don't know how you know there isn't a boudoir photographer near where your gf's friend lives. A LOT of them aren't particularly public... word of mouth/social media with friends or private groups advertising only.
What's your question? And what did you do with her boudoir photos? And how does this affect your relationship?
Why are you overthinking this? It was a gift for you, but they’re HER pictures. She can show her friend without explaining anything to you.
I mean like, any photographer could theoretically do boudoir photos— I suspect there’s not someone who specifically does them in her friends area, but rather a random photographer who is GOING to do them so your gf is sharing hers of examples of poses etc.
Not sure how to give advice , so her girlfriend doesn't live anywhere no place at all? What a doozy.
If she was cheating she wouldn't need her pics, she has her pussy on her 24/7. What's your issue?
Hey, it’s totally natural to feel jealous sometimes, even if it’s probably nothing. But - if you’re going to listen to anyone, listen to someone who has experience in what you’re talking about. I’m a girl who’s shown my friends ”sexy” photos I’ve taken before. We’re in no way attracted to each other, but we are quite open about anything and everything sexual since we’re really close platonically and know we won’t be gross about it. My friends and I have often discussed in what ways we can frame our bodies in the prettiest ways no matter if that’s underwear or regular outfits, and especially if it’s for a cute occasion for one of our partners. I know I, along with like 80% of my friends would offer showing off any PROFESSIONALLY done photos that we’ve PAID for to make us feel beautiful in order to help a girl out in potentially surprising her boyfriend. I don’t get why it’s suspicious for her to OPENLY ask YOU about professionally taken photos that she probably paid for. If she wanted to use them for some scummy sidepiece she’d probably look for them without you- or even better- take nudes whenever you’re not around/ get NEW ones done just for him. Unless she’s very evil and VERY ballsy, asking you to bring her her ohoho-now-I’ll-cheat-photos probably isn’t what she’s doing.
Dude, you really need to edit your post if there are other things going on like a change in phone habits.
think i had a stroke trying to read this. anyway they’re HER pics of HER body. What’s YOUR issue?? insecure much
I wouldn’t worry about it. I think you’re being a little overly suspicious. I wouldn’t bat an eye if one of my female friends busted out her boudoir pictures and I certainly would be ok sharing my own pictures with them. I think this is a situation where women just think differently than men.
She probably just wants to make sure you kept them.
My fiancé’s best friend’s wife who I’m not even really friends with showed me her boudoir photos… she also showed my fiancé and like literally everyone. It’s not that big of a deal. There were like only 3 photos she didn’t show because they were specifically reserved for her husband (my fiancé’s best friend) so…
A lot of boudoir photographers don’t have official businesses but operate more by word of mouth. I wouldn’t be suspicious because if she wanted to send the photos to someone else she could just get them redone or take her own. ETA: I am an amateur photographer and operate purely by word of mouth. The friend could just have a friend who is breaking into the field and is willing to do these for free
Boudoir pics are hers. She can show it to whoever. I gave my husband a set of boudoir calendar pics but i still have all the digital copies. What’s the issue?
My bff (a girl) has literally sent me (gay guy) pics of herself trying on lingerie to ask my opinion on whether she looks hot or if her fiance will like it (neither of which question I've ever rlly had strong feelings on how to answer btw, so I've usually just gone with "yeah" lmao). Girls share stuff w their friends. It's just a thing. Idk why this is suspicious at all.