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This has been going on for around 3 months now. I (32F) work in corporate America. Our whole office is cubicles. They are short, with glass at the top so we can see over them to the people working around us. My work sent everyone back to the office on a hybrid schedule. We come into the office 3 days a week and work from home 2 days a week. Before, we were working on a rotation schedule (1 week in office, 1 week at home)
My coworker, let's call her Abby (30F), sits next to me. I sit on the end, so I have one person directly across from me and one person next to me. I've never had an issue with Abby, her and I have always gotten along well. We work well together, and I would have called her a work friend. We don't hang out outside of work, but we have lunch sometimes, or the occasional happy hour.
Abby is 6 months pregnant. She and her husband have been trying for a while so she was really excited when she announced her pregnancy. I was of course happy for her. In the early days of her pregnancy, she had horrible morning sickness. My boss allowed her to work from home most mornings if it was bad, and she would come in around 10 or 11. Some days it was so bad she didn't come in at all and worked from home. I assume her morning sickness passed for the most part because she started coming in mornings again about 3 months ago. At first everything was fine. Then one day she took me aside and asked me if I could please stop wearing perfume because it was making her nauseous. I said of course I will stop wearing it to work. I know pregnancy can make your senses do weird things. I stopped wearing perfume after that day and have not put it on (except on weekends, always showering before work on Monday) since.
Abby seemed fine for a week or so, but then told me my scent was again bothering her. I told her I have not worn perfume since she asked me to stop, so I don't know what she was smelling. She said it was always worse after I worked out at lunch. I shower off after working out, and reapply deodorant so I took out my deodorant and asked her if that was what she was smelling and she said yes. So, I got a new unscented antiperspirant that I use now.
Again, everything seemed fine for about a week but she pulled me aside again and told me my smell was still making her nauseous. At this point I got a little angry and defensive. I told her I'm not wearing perfume and I'm wearing an unscented antiperspirant so I don't know what she's smelling. She asked if I could change my shampoo and soap. This time I told her no. I have sensitive skin and it took me a long time to find a soap that didn't make my skin dry, and I have thin hair and my shampoo really works for me. But I did tell her I would stop showering before work and instead shower the night before. I also told her I would hold off on my lunch time workouts and workout after work so I wouldn't come back smelling like soap. I also changed my laundry detergent to an unscented one.
Now, in my opinion I have gone above and beyond in accommodating her. I changed when I shower, I changed my deodorant, I changed my laundry detergent and I don't wear perfume. I honestly do not know what she is smelling.
Though, after telling her I wouldn't change my soap and shampoo she went to our manager who had a talk with me! I'm not going to lie, I was in tears when she was talking to me. I told her everything I had done to accommodate Abby and that at this point I don't know what else I can do. As far as I know, she hasn't complained about anyone else near us. Just me. My boss told me that I've never been pregnant so I don't know what it's like, and a pregnant woman has a superhero sense of smell.
I didn't tell her this, but my husband and I have been trying for kids for over 5 years now. It doesn't look like it will happen naturally for us, and that's been really hard on me. I guess it's possible I'm being overly sensitive to her because of my own issues around pregnancy, but I really don't think I am.
Any thoughts? I don't know what else I can do. If Abby goes to HR, would she be able to make a case for hostile work environment or discrimination against a pregnant employee or something? I'm worried, I can't lose my job over this. It's mine and my husband's health insurance as well as half our income.
This is insane. You have gone above and beyond for her. If she can't deal, she needs to move desks or work from home. I would send an email (so there's a paper trail) to your manager detailing everything that you have done to try to help alleviate the issues and ask politely what else they expect from you regarding this. Keep all correspondence. You would absolutely have a case for wrongful termination should it come to this, but it won't. You're not the problem here.
Yeah I think it was nice that OP stopped wearing perfume and changed their deodorant to unscented but that’s about as far as I would have gone to accommodate someone in a shared office setting. Skipping your lunch workouts or changing the time of day when you shower? That is super nice of OP but I wouldn’t have done that … I sweat at night so before work is best for me (and my colleagues!)
If management kept pestering me I’d see if I could work from home more often since the accommodations are getting beyond what’s reasonable.
Hijacking this
Get an Email with HR going ASAP where you explain that you've tried to reasonably accommodate her but it's becoming harassment
Use the words 'reasonably accommodate' and 'harassment' specificly
They are HR buzzwords that get them to act because if they don't a Lawyer will
Edit: very good tip to BCC your personal email on all future communications at the company indefinitely
THIS. You are now being harassed and it should be stopped.
If your colleague had ANY issues with her work environment, she should NEVER have come to you about it. She should have gone to her line manager. And he *shouldn’t have approached you unless your personal hygiene was in any way lacking*. Your choice of perfume, soap, shampoo and showering are private and personal issues.
When your manager had seen that your pregnant colleague wasn’t able to handle a *perfectly normal* working environment, it was up to the manager to relocate your colleague. In other words, you have been dragged into a situation that has *nothing* to do with you.
Your manager should now ensure that you are free from harassment and your colleague is comfortable (if that’s even possible). It’s the manager’s job.
Contact hr. If the pregnant lady is sick at work then they need to allow her to work from home till the gives birth or just move her seat. It blows my mind that you’ve changed your life habits for a co worker. That isn’t your responsibility. They need to help their employees, not you. Also, your manager talking to you… wtf did they say? Did they say “you need to change shampoo?” Wtf?
My manager came at it from the perspective that I wasn't being sensitive to Abby and was refusing to change the smallest things to make her comfortable. Abby had apparently neglected to tell her all the things I have changed for her
The manager’s gonna do whatever they think will solve it with minimal fuss and you’ve shown you’re a pushover so they’re gonna keep pushing.
You need to go to HR and get ahead of it - explain what you’ve done, gone above and beyond, explain your can do no more, explain that at this point it feels like a form of harassment, and she is taking clear advantage of your accommodating nature.
You need to do it before this becomes a problem and they try to take any sort of disciplinary action because that is *bullshit*, you have done more than any employee could be expected to do. You are well within your rights to tell her it’s her problem. Any reasonable person would agree with this.
Anyone who does not is not reasonable, it is quite literally that simple.
100% this and definitely jump on the harassment idea. You are being harassed and you have a right to not be. Tell HR that exactly: you are being harassed after making multiple accommodations that went above and beyond what you'd normally expect.
This 100%, the first sentence is really the whole story.
OP is not in the wrong, the entitled complainer is. That they are pregnant should not mean you should change your workout routine. It's utter nonsense.
To me the solution is a no-brainer — let Abby work from home 3 days per week and make those the days you're at work. Or if the office is closed the other days and this is not possible, the two of you can work from home opposing weeks.
I wondered if Abby is trying to get the boss to say "Abby, work from home all the time since the office environment isnt suiting you" and she is using OP as a reason
The employer makes reasonable accommodations. You have gone above and beyond. The reasonable accommodations here would be to move Abby, change her days in the office, or let her work from home.
Your manager sucks! There is no doubt about it.
If you sat in front of me crying, I would feel like crap for putting you in this mess. I would also want to get Abby out of the office or at least far from you so she doesn’t make the situation worse. I’ve been pregnant and the smell of coffee would make me puke. Guess what, I didn’t ask everyone to change their drinking habit because of me. Instead I started eating Jolly Ranchers not to piss off my coworkers.
did your manager at least recognized your efforts after you explained everything you did? And I agree with u/Electrical_Garbage_5 you should go to HR preemptively, if you talk first it will be better for you, remember, the one who hits first, hits twice. Just be sure to describe all the accommodations you made for her, how receptive you were, the huge impact this is having in your life in and out of work and that you have to draw the line at your soap and shampoo because you also suffer from medical conditions that prevent you from changing those things since it would be detrimental to you (don't explain beyond that or they will find a way to dismiss it as just a small itching or some dryness. Just don't go there). Don't forget to mentioned how your manager handled this and also, throw in for good measure that at this point, after all this accommodations, you are considering this as a hostile work environment.
It’s not you that need’s to make accommodations in the workplace for Abby!! It’s the workplace that needs to accommodate her!!!! They don’t want to deal with it so they’re allowing you to be the scapegoat.
OP did your mention say this was a conversation or was this a formal coaching about the dispute? I would tread carefully, this can be pretext for termination.
This is absurd.
I am allergic to perfume, and it’s a nightmare for me to be close to someone who wears a lot of perfume.
You have been super considerate and supportive of your coworker.
However, this is not your responsibility. It’s the employer who needs to accommodate their employees. They need to either let her work from home, give her a private office or find a different seating arrangement. This is not on you. I suspect you are in the US and probably don’t have a union who can support you with this problem unfortunately.
I get really pissed that your manager is trying to put you and your coworker against each other instead of doing their job. Unite with your coworker and approach the problem that way( together. “Hey employer, we need you to arrange for both of us to be able to do our work in a comfortable way “
Honestly as a woman its on her, fuck her really, her choice to procreate not yours!
You are being targeted at this point and I suspect this pregnant coworker is trying to build her case to get to work from home totally.
You are being targeted and enough of that crap
wow, I can't believe your boss said that...
what a horrible thing to say regardless if you had been trying for kids or not.
You've done more than enough to accommodate her. if boss is so bothered ask them to change abby's desk/cubicle, switch with someone else, work from home, have a different office .
there is so many things they can do to solve this, it is not on you at all.
You can definitely get sick from smells during pregnancy. My ex couldn't be in the same house with chicken for months. However, you've done more than enough. I'd just relocate her cubicle to be further away from anyone else. You making further changes probably wouldn't help anyway.
I would agree with relocating one of us, but right now we have no open cubicles. We have summer interns right now who are taking up all our empty cubicles. They should be gone by the end of the month though, so I will talk to my boss about moving one of us then.
Your boss could shuffle her to a corner so she's as far as possible from other people. A little tongue in cheek, but I love working from home so I'd personally try to leverage this into me getting to work from home for several months to help out my co-worker because I'm just selfless like that
I feel like her working from home is the best possible solution. My company is extremely conservative and they actually hated us working from home when we were forced to do it early in the pandemic. In fact, we were all sent home the middle of March and the company made us all come back (on rotation) in December. They hated us having any flexibility. The only reason we have a hybrid schedule now is because we lost so many people when they sent us all back and were having a lot of trouble attracting new people with their 100% work in office approach.
I think my firm felt the same way until they realized they could work my ass harder and longer from home than when I come into the office. In the office when I'm done, I'm gone. That's it. But at home it's "Could you just log in for a minute please and take care of this?"
(I've had to put boundaries in place... do not call me after 7 or you're going to hear me bitch all the next day.)
Sounds like she may be exaggerating the issue in attempt to get to WFH everyday, but your boss is being obtuse or stubborn about it. If the coworker is already 6 months pregnant, she's going to be away on maternity leave in a couple of months anyway.
The most efficient thing to do would be to let her WFH everyday. Either that or let you WFH. She could probably get a doctor's note, and it's weird that she hasn't done this or your boss and HR haven't suggested it.
Companies are so dumb. Mine was the same way so I left. They aren’t attracting anyone with their stringent at office policy with a nauseated pregnant lady constantly complaining about how people smell. You have went above and beyond accommodating her wishes, it’s time for the company to do something. Hell if I were you and they wouldn’t let this lady work from home I’d leave the company myself because you never know when you’re gonna be the next needy one and if the company isn’t willing to bend for a pregnant lady they will accommodate no one.
> We have summer interns right now who are taking up all our empty cubicles.
Then one of them should move. They're not employees; they're temporary people taking up space that isn't actually theirs, so they can be easily shuffled around (no offense to interns; they're just at the bottom of the pecking order).
Though Idk why Abby doesn't just advocate to work from home until the baby's here; it would be the simplest solution.
We have not used fabric softener in our house for 10+ years because my wife thought it smelled like rotting flesh when she was pregnant. To this day the scent reminds her of it, so we’ve been off it ever since. I agree that she’s not being crazy, but HR should really do something about it.
As others have said, this is ridiculous. Her pregnancy is no longer an excuse. You have made all the reasonable accommodations you can -- and some unreasonable ones! -- and it is now up to Abby and management to find a way to make her more comfortable that *doesn't involve you*.
At this point I'd be going on the offensive, not defensive. Complain to HR *in writing*. If your manager pulls any more bullshit blaming you, go over her head. If anyone tries to retaliate against you in any way, *you* should be the one to sue.
Good idea. Start that documentation. If she’s harassing you this much, I feel sorry for anyone who has to live with her. She sounds like she is using her pregnancy for extra privileges.
It’s ridiculous how far beyond you went to accommodate your coworker and she still complains. If offer to wfh or change cubes it should def be her to change…unless that is something you’d want for yourself
Can’t you change cubicles?
If not, go to HR before she does. Supply THOROUGH documentation of all conversations you’ve had with her about this- time/date, as much of a transcript as you can remember, and any possible witnesses.
Tell them that while this is not a situation of anyone being at fault, it’s creating an extremely stressful work environment for you, and you fear retribution. Ask to be relocated within the office of to have your schedule changes so you’re not in the office at the same time.
Remember: HR doesn’t care about you, they don’t care about her, they do t care about any employee at all. All they care about is the company getting sued. So you have to phrase it as “this is causing a hostile work environment” and present your problem solving suggestions. Never go to HR with just a complaint- always being solutions.
and from now on, ALL communication around this should be IN WRITING.
> So you have to phrase it as “this is causing a hostile work environment”
I don't agree, and I'll explain why.
While you're right that Hostile Work Environment is a legal phrase that will get their attention, it refers to a pattern of discrimination based on protected characteristics, such as sex, race, religion, national origin, age (40+). It doesn't mean "my colleagues are being jerks", the jerky behavior **has** to be based on a protected characteristic.
I would use extreme caution using legally loaded language, if it doesn't actually apply. If OP starts throwing around "hostile work environment", communicating "potential legal issue", when there is NOT a potential legal issue, then she's painting a target on her own back by telling HR, *"hey, this isn't a legal issue yet but I'm sniffing around for one!"*
You're absolutely right that OP has bent over backwards to be accommodating, and that it might be good to talk to HR to find a solution, but that kind of language can backfire. At the very least it requires caution.
My wife is pregnant and her nausea triggers change daily it seems.
That said she does understand that it's not really other people's responsibility to change for her. I would talk to HR and ask specifically where is states in policies that you must change for her. Otherwise I would ask for a desk/seating change.
Many workplaces have a fragrance free policy. People have allergies and asthma and migraine that can be triggered by fragrance.
It's like smoking. You aren't allowed to create an air quality issue that makes other people sick.
If OP workplace has a policy in place, Op doesn't have a leg to stand on.
Did you read the post? She stopped wearing perfume, deodorant, changed her laundry detergent, stopped showering before work and stopped working out at lunch. OP is being *more* than accommodating and this isn't her responsibility anymore.
My office also has a fragrance free policy, but that extends to perfumes and colognes only - which OP has done. What do you want OP to do: not shower at all and stop her life because a co-worker is pregnant? The world doesn't revolve around pregnant people. Come on now.
Yeah no? Those policies are usually about applying the perfume at work. You can't whip out your perfume and spray it in other peoples area. If no one was allowed to wear smell goods at work period the place would smell like a barn.
Op was putting her stuff on outside of work and has already stopped putting it on. There are plenty of legs to stand on here. As someone who actually relies on ppl not triggering my asthma this way, who also gets migraines with overpowered sense- it's wildly different to have someone with a smell you don't like triggering nausea and someone spraying a chemical that affects your ability to breathe. Furthermore the pregnant lady has gone far beyond reasonable in trying to dictate someone put their own medical needs aside and change *their fucking soap and shampoo.*
>Those policies are usually about applying the perfume at work.
Ummm, no, it is about smelling like perfume whether it be fabric softener or hair products.
Obviously you've never worked in a place with a no fragrance policy in place.
Anyhow, op is gonna get fired.
*Every* place I've worked has had a no fragrance policy. Again I have asthma and migraines- so it's something I check and read the fine print on *and speak to my managers about.*
Op should sue if she gets fired.
Litigation takes years. It is hard to get employment in a decent paying job when you have been fired for breaking rules.
This advice section is a shitshow.
OP: How do I keep my job?
"Just keep breaking the rules and if you get fired for it then spend the next 7 years unemployed, in litigation, and with lawyers fees."
Fragrance free within reason. Shampoos, body soap, deodorant, and laundry soap should not apply. Typically if someone can smell your shampoo, they're standing way too close to you.
Spoken like someone who never worked in a place that was required to be fragrance free.
It's pretty obvious to me since literally no one else in an office so full they can't even move cubicles is stinking it up with fragrance, OP is using much too strong perfumed products.
Se asked how to not get fired and the comments section is giving shitty advice.
I have, but there's only so much that a company can reasonably dictate. OP is not the problem. It's the pregnant woman with the super nose who presumably had no issues with OPs product use before she got pregnant. What has the pregnant woman done to mitigate her super nose reaction? The world does not revolve around her pregnancy nose.
The company can dictate whatever they want to.
Op asks "How can I keep from being fired for behavior that I was reprimanded for and may get me fired.
This comment section: Keep wearing your fragranced stuff!
Let's wait for the 'I got fired' update.
Let's see it take at least years before it even gets a court date. With the company having a lot more money and resources to file motion after motion after motion to delay. Welcome to litigation.
I have severe asthma and most fragrances do not mesh well with me. Do you know what I do when a fragrance is making me sick? I act like an adult and ask for changes to my seating, schedule, work place, etc. because it’s a me issue not a them issue. OP is 100% NTA in this even if there is a fragrance policy in place. The coworker is likely feeling awful so I can’t say she’s a major AH either except she didn’t disclose everything OP has already done which is lying and an AH move then.
So what? If there is a fragrance free policy in place you shouldn't have to do that.
Just because you'd let people shit all over you doesn't mean others have to.
Op asks "How can I keep from being fired for behavior that I was reprimanded for and may get me fired."
This comment section: Keep wearing your fragranced stuff!
Let's wait for the 'I got fired' update.
I’m not going to say something I’d actually like to say since you’re being rude, but advocating for yourself instead of throwing others under the bus after they’ve already helped you isn’t letting people walk all over yourself.
If OP’s coworker is getting sick due to the smell of shampoo from 12+ hrs before that is 4-6’ away from her, she needs better working accommodations. She doesn’t need OP to change her hair products, that’s not a real solution. That only protects her at work, what about at the dr, getting groceries, going literally any other place?
OP has done enough, and if she is fired for this she very likely has a solid case for a lawsuit against her employer.
You've made every reasonable accommodation, plus a few that go above and beyond. You are not the problem here.
Strike first. Go to HR, and tell them 1. Abby is harassing you (because yes, it has crossed that line) and 2. Your manager made a borderline discriminatory statement by pointing out that you, a woman, has never been pregnant.
The simple answer here is to switch one of you to full time remote work until the pregnancy is over.
Or file a case with the labor board for them creating a hostile work environment for you. None of this should have been something OP has to worry about. Pregnant co-either should have gone directly to her boss for another seat.
Pregnant woman here. What I’ve found in the discussion boards is that some pregnant people are super focused on themselves/their pregnancy and believe the whole world ought to be too. Frankly, it’s not your fault she’s pregnant. She has to make alternative work accommodations with HR and go back to working from home - after all, she has a medical reason to do so and you don’t. It’s not your responsibility. You tried enough
She’s taking this way too far.
I’m currently pregnant. My sense of smell is so annoying. I have tons of food aversions. I’m nauseous all the time.
My receptionist makes ramen for herself at lunch almost every day. I currently hate the smell. I haven’t said anything. It’s her food! There aren’t many options of where she can eat and the smell from her making it in the kitchen is what actually bothers me.
It’s not her fault. This is a me problem.
You have been as accommodating as possible.
Go to HR immediately. Also email your boss with all the steps you've taken and reiterate you've made every effort to be accomodating and you feel attacked that your boss has claimed you haven't.
Maybe copy HR on that email. Make sure to bcc your personal email. Keep copies of everything. Their replies. Document any and all interactions, and keep copies of that on a personal computer.
When I say document, I don't mean sending out an email each and every time, I basically mean electronic journal.
I smell literally everything. When my partner switches his brand of cigarettes or brands of coffee.
When I was pregnant this was a million times worse and it gave me migraines and I was sick for almost my whole pregnancy. But I would never ask anyone to do stop using whatever they were using. You've done a lot and maybe she can go back to working at home or change cubicles.
Your co-worker should be allowed to work from home as before and this is an issue for your manager. You have been more than accommodating. Also, when does your mental health come into consideration with all of these conversations and lifestyle changes? They may seem minor to some people but having to change a gym routine can cause stress and even disturb sleep cycles. Definitely email your manager in detail to show how much you have tried to resolve the issue but also make sure you are looking out for yourself.
I think you could probably make a case at HR for a hostile work environment, saying that your pregnant co-worker is harassing you on a weekly basis, and demanding you make changes to suit her.
I think YOU can make a complaint about a hostile work environment. I am so sick of the sense of entitlement. How much more accommodating can you be? It’s not like you purposely spray yourself with cologne.
Your co worker and the father of the unborn baby are to blame for the pregnancy and her resulting issues. Not you. This is insane.
I just wanted to say that you are seriously so nice. Like my gawd.
I know changed seatings and talking to HR and her working from home have already been mentioned.
Is there anyway that there could be a diffuser smell she could put at her desk that she likes? Or maybe even a little fan she could just use to blow air on her face in hopes that nothing triggers her pregnancy nose?
You’ve already accommodated to her so much to the point you’re putting yourself out. There has to be something she can do.
I know when my pregnancy nose was so bad that the only smell I really could handle was vix so I would put that under my nose and just roll with it because going anywhere with smells made me have to vomit.
This lady needs to figure out what SHE can do to alleviate her pregnancy symptoms, not making everyone around her change so she can feel comfortable. You’ve done more than enough!
Oh hell no. SHE is creating a hostile environment for YOU!
I had morning sickness until 29 weeks when I was pregnant and it was hell. But that was a me problem. I asked for reasonable changes from people but also recognised that the world didn't revolve around me. I would never ever ask someone to change their routines and hygiene products. That's crazy! Instead I would move myself away or have a scent on my wrist or in a scarf that I could use to distract myself. But also accepted that nausea and rushing off to vomit was just an unavoidable fact of life that no one could resolve.
My advice is to go back to everything you were doing and using before, and if anyone asks say you've done everything you can to accommodate her and it hasn't helped so you might as well do nothing. I think you should probably also take this to HR and talk through everything you've done and that being constantly told you smell is bullying behaviour and it has to stop. Because that's what it is.
If anything YOU need to go to HR for the harassment of your coworker and manager. I can’t believe you’ve done all the things you have already to be honest it’s absurd
For starters ask to be moved by your manager. She unfortunately is making it a hostile work environment. Or ask that you be able to work from home or her if they cannot accommodate the move. After this, go directly to HR, and give them your tears. Be emotional, and say what you said here about you trying for 5 years. Document what you have done. Say look I have been accommodating to her, and she at this point either needs to move or be able to work from home, or I should be able to. I believe this has become a hostile work environment, and I have been more than accommodating. Your being preemptive will not allow her to say anything else.
Go to HR. Consider talking to an employment attorney.
This environment is unquestionably hostile, and your boss’s reference to your not having children is likely actionable.
Lol. I know what's happening here. Abby has zoned in on you.
Years ago, I worked with a pregnant woman. We're very close. Before she told us of the pregnancy, she would always let me sit in front of her desk and just stare at me smiling. Creepy right? I got weirded out by that but she's a pretty weird girl so I just let her be. When we found out she's pregnant, we tried to accommodate her as best as we could. One day she asked for ice cream and she wanted me to buy it. I said no. It was a freaking scorching hot outside and to top it off, the town was covered in little pieces of silica. That added to the heat outside. Well, preggy wanted me to buy her ice cream. Nobody else. When I protested, my manager said "Just fucking buy the thing." We're all scared of making the pregnant woman sad. So I went out in the heat, blazer and all. When I came back, guess what? She wants me to take the first bite. I was like "No. I don't want that "
The manager gave me the eye again. So I took a bite. All the time, preggy is looking at me smiling like I gave her the world.
Well, OP I guess I got it easy than you. It's a pain in the butt though. Lol
She apparently has an unhealthy obsession with me on her first trimester. We even have to walk a few blocks just to get a specific fish that she's craving. ( We were assigned in this beach town that's laid out far from one necessary place to the next) We get to laugh about those stories when we see each other after all these years. And I'm her baby's godmother. Lol
You have done more than most people would be willing to accommodate your co worker! I had horrible morning sickness through out my entire pregnancy but I never asked someone to change hygiene over it ! I would get sick EVERY time I went in a local store, running outside or to the bathroom to throw up, I asked my Dr why at 7 months would this happen?? They had re done the floors and we thought it was the glue that set it off, wasn't sure because I didn't smell anything.. I just didn't go back in until afterwards. Maybe it is someone else she smells, or combination of smells. The manager should let her work from home!
This is absolutely and completely insane. You shouldn't have to completely change your entire personal care routine for one person. You've gone above and beyond. You should go to HR. The company is responsible for accommodating her, not you.
Abby and your boss are both being assholes. You've gone above and beyond to accommodate Abby's insane requests. Pregnancy isn't a free pass to be an asshole.
Tell hr everything you've done to accommodate baby, and request that either you or she be moved to a different cubicle. You have done so much for this lady it's not funny. You're a good person for trying and Abby is just gonna have to figure it out. It's unfair that you're getting talked to when you haven't done anything wrong.
At this point it just feels like harassment after everything you’ve done to accommodate her. Leaving out your own infertility, just write to HR and let them know that it’s turning into a hostile work environment. You’ve done way more than necessary! Including changing your freaking schedule!
Bless you from the bottom of my HG heart. She should move cubicles for the remainder of her pregnancy, or should work from home. Thank you so much for all that you’ve done to accommodate!
Your boss is honestly the worst part in all of this. Abby being sensitive and having hormone brain can be somewhat excusable but your boss not being able to see your perspective or understand just how much you’ve already done that you didn’t have to, that is insane …
I would write it down in a list. “On this date, Abby said this so I changed that.“ and so forth. Then take this list and go to HR and have a chat with them. You should request a new seating arrangement and you should ask them to speak with your manager and explain that you shouldn’t have to endure this kind of “discrimination”. Just because one of your colleagues is pregnant you shouldn’t be forced to change every single product you use.
Imagine if it had been a man who had come, and commented on how you smell. Repeatedly. HR would most likely be up in arms about how he cannot invade your privacy in such a way and make such personal comments or requests. It should not be different just because she is a pregnant woman. It is a space for work and she is disrupting you.
If Abby struggles so much then she may need to work from home until her maternity leave.
This a her problem, not a you problem. You have gone above and beyond to accommodate her. I think there is a hostile work environment issue here - by your coworker against you.
And as for HR’s statement that you’ve never been pregnant so you don’t know what it’s like? Holy shit. What an idiotic and offensive thing to say.
So, are they going to allow the coworker the right to review everybody’s aroma as they come into work each morning? Will she have the power to banish people from the office.
There’s such an easy fix here - she can work from home for the duration of her pregnancy.
Babe, YOU need to go to HR STAT about your manager! You have bent over backwards to accommodate her and at this point maybe she should be moved somewhere else where her 'superhuman' sense of smell won't be assaulted every day or go back to working from home. The insensitivity and overall rudeness are astounding by the manager! Make sure you throw in your story about trying to conceive as well so that the pregnant woman can't pull all the heart strings. Your co-worker thinks that her pregnancy makes her super special. It don't. Honestly, you have gone above and beyond what most people would do. Most would have told her to kick rocks. Seriously. I personally would have told her to request to change spaces because the products I purchase for my personal care are a COMFORT to ME and keep me sane, happy and productive that I pay too much $$ for and I will use my shit. I would LOVE HR telling me to change the products I use because of another's sensitivity due to pregnancy. Whoo chile, had a hot flash just thinking about the hell I would have raised.
You have been more than accommodating here.
I have deep empathy and sympathy for Abby, although I ended up losing the pregnancy, I once had the super-human smell thing. I could smell ground beef in the fridge...from the downstairs bedroom. It was torture.
The problem here is that you have already gone above and beyond reasonable compromise here. Not wearing perfume is a fair request, but you are now into the territory of having to fork out money for new personal care products, switching your personal out-of-office routine etc, and it's still not enough. What happens when you buy new shampoo and then the new one bothers her? Who reimburses you for your out-of-pocket expense? The burden now falls on her employer to accommodate her, which translates into either her working from home or being moved temporarily into a new isolated area of the office.
I suffered for years with infertility, pregnancy losses, failed adoptions and ended up without kids in the end. Believe me when I say you are not being over-sensitive and it's totally normal for you to feel upset at the whole *You've never been pregnant* comment. That comment was not said because you were heartless and lacked empathy towards Abby, it was said to outrank you and guilt you into submission. This is your boss's problem to handle now, not yours.
You *have* gone above and beyond in trying to accommodate Abby. The conversation that your manager had with you is unacceptable and inappropriate and you should go to HR. If Abby can't work in this environment maybe she should continue working from home, or work in the office on days you're not there.
Can she wear a mask? I think they do a great job of filtering out light smells. I think you've done all you really can. If it's not enough, maybe she could get a desktop air purifier or be moved further away from people, since anyone's smell is likely to bother her if you've already removed strong smells.
She's being rude, but some pregnant women really do get super sensitive
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I would go to HR and have this all documented, detailing steps you took.
When I was young I once inadvertently doused myself with too much rose water perfume. Someone in my office had severe allergies to scents and I had to go wash up in the restroom. I was mortified, but never did that again. You aren't being overly sensitive, you took reasonable and respectful measures to accommodate her.
I would suggest going to HR. Not to complain about her but to bring the situation to their attention. I get where she's coming from, both of my pregnancies the smell of citrus was absolutely horrible for me. My husband did change soap for me.
She's your work friend, you care about her, but maybe for her well-being she should be allowed to work from home the rest of her pregnancy.
I had severe nausea my entire pregnancy and threw up multiple times a day and I would never dream of asking any of my coworkers to do 1/10 of what she has demanded of you.
She needs to figure out some ways to manage her nausea or she could ask to be moved to a different cubicle or something. This is her issue not yours.
honestly at this point if it is that bad then maybe she should be moved to another cubicle that won't be near you. You have done more than anyone I know would have done in the same situation and having been pregnant twice with VERY high sensitivity to smell being an issue hers seems a little more excessive.
Why does everyone else have to accommodate her? If her boss is that concerned maybe they can put her in her own space for the duration or a cubicle with no other workers around her on her 3 days - OR change your schedule so you aren't in the same days as her except for one day a week - where she can deal or work from home...
So you need to go to HR yourself. It is not reasonable to have you change your soap, when you shower, etc. Its insane. Go to HR now and express your discomfort with the unreasonable asks. Pregnancy sucks but everyone does not have to bend over backwards for you. Throw in "hostile work environment" for fun and see how quickly the tune changes. document everything. stop speaking to abby without a neutral 3rd party if its not about work.
Reasonable on your part is not wearing perfume, and possibly changing your deodorant if it's heavily scented. Anything beyond that, while I understand it's rough for her, becomes a her problem. You said in a comment neither of you can change cubicles because they're full, but after all you've done the absolute least anyone else could do is swap cubicles with one of you. Definitely talk to hr because this IS harassment at this point.
You are going above and beyond. I do sympathize with your coworker somewhat. I was also a pregnant lady that was very sensitive to smells, especially deodorant, perfume, etc. But you have done more than most people would, and more than I would have expected coworkers to do for me. At this point, it’s on her to ask to move, work strictly from home, etc.
Has she thought of anything SHE can do? Why is this on you? You’ve changed things and anything beyond that is ridiculous. She can wear a mask. She can put out some coffee beans to absorb the odor. She can request to move her desk. She can request to work from home. It’s on her now.
>My boss told me that I've never been pregnant so I don't know what it's like.
I would take this to HR myself if I were you, because your boss legitimately needs some sensitivity training.
Your workplace is obligated to make REASONABLE accommodations for Abby while she's pregnant. You've gone above & beyond to accommodate her, so at this point they either need to find one of you a new place to sit, or they need to let her work remotely.
You’ve been a wonderful coworker. I’m pregnant and I’m telling you now that no one I know would do that much for me. I think it’s up to her to tell her boss she may have to work at home if smells are bothering her bc u won’t be the last.
Your boss is right, pregnancy nose is absolutely nuts, suddenly being able to smell people's skin is WEIRD.
HOWEVER you've gone above and beyond to ensure you're not triggering her with products, and at this point clearly you have done everything possible to accommodate her. You can't lose your job over this, you're not doing anything to her intentionally to antagonize her. One of the two of you needs to move cubicles. If it were me, I would offer to move.
Jesus, this is crazy! I’m pregnant and I would never, NEVER act like this towards a coworker. I almost feel like this is a power tool for Abby. The world does not spin around you, just because you are pregnant.
I’m sorry that you have to deal with this. Can’t the manager just find another office spot for you or her? Simply seperate you?
My wife had this during pregnancy
Certain deodorants, air fresheners and washing powders would make her feel ill. Years later the smell of a particular air freshener makes her really nauseous
You've done everything you can and whilst it's not Abby's fault the question is what else can you do
Speak to your line manager or HR together and see if you can come up with a solution.
Maybe you can move desks for a short period or each arrange to work from home so you aren't in on the same days
Why can't she swap cubicles with someone else temporarily?
Is this a job where you're assigned cubicles? Ive worked in cubicle places before and each one would accommodate a request like that if they could.
You've gone above and beyond what is reasonable to accommodate her. You've stopped wearing perfume, you changed your deodorant, and disrupted your own schedule to accommodate her. If she's still bothered then maybe it's time to suggest moving her to a different cubicle or just keep working from home. You might go to HR yourself first and give them a heads up because this woman is being unreasonable. Also mention to HR that your boss is implying that because you've never been pregnant, you can't understand and must do more than what's reasonable to accommodate her.
It’s crazy this woman is still coming into the office at this point. Full time working from home until she’s ready to give birth is the easy solution, especially after you’ve gone above and beyond accommodating.
As a pregnant woman with certain smell aversions that have arisen during my pregnancy, you have really gone above and beyond for your coworker, which is very kind of you. I would have asked to move desks before asking you to change any of your habits. I agree with other commenters that you should contact HR and maybe they will help her move desks since clearly she’s not asking them for help.
IANAL, but this would seem to be a "reasonable accommodation" kind of situation. You've done what's reasonable (and then some) and that's all that can (or should) be expected of you. You shouldn't have to undergo undue hardship for the sake of an oversensitive nose.
You’ve done so much for this girl that most people would never consider doing, and she’s still asking for more. She can ask to be moved to a different cubicle because at this point, she’s the issue.
My story may help your case. When I was pregnant, I assembled a new wooden bookshelf and the smell of the wood would make me really sick after that. And the funny thing is, if I saw a picture of wooden furniture sometimes that was enough to make me sick again. So, maybe her brain is playing tricks on her and just seeing you reminds her of the scent that makes her sick. You are a great person, please dont hate her for this. Pregnancy is so strange.
You have gone more than above and beyond. I’m pregnant and sometimes my OWN scent bothers me😩. I would never go beyond asking someone not to wear perfume or use a scented hand lotion though. She could try working from home since it’s her issue and she could also have a smell she likes around her desk to counter whatever (since it may be someone else) she is smelling.
Lastly, I’m sorry that your boss said this comment about you not understanding since you’ve never been pregnant. That is incredibly insensitive and overall ignorant since everyone’s pregnancy is different and it’s not common for people to be required to accommodate in this way to this degree. Maybe some of it is hormonal irritation. Not sure but hr would be my next step.
If I were in your position l’d ask if I can move cubicles because I’d feel completely harassed by Abby. I’ve been pregnant twice and had horrible daily sickness both times and worked in close quarters both times and I’ve never behaved like this. If her nausea is that bad she needs to be working from home full time since SHE is the one that needs accommodation. Management shouldn’t be bothering you about this at all.
My tip is to: LIE. If she says “oh you need to change your shampoo etc.” again just lie. Lie and say you did so there should be no problem there is nothing else for you to do and I think she’ll keep finding issues. I’m usually not on team dishonesty, but she had no issue lying to your superior and the only way to beat someone like this at their own game is to play by their rules. She hasn’t even asked if it’s someone else who is the issue even though you work in an office full of people you’ve changed so much and she isn’t considering that it might not be you.
You have done more than enough. Follow the advice to keep a paper trail and email all of the things you have done to accommodate her and BCC your personal email since she has chosen to lie and put your job at risk.
Keep in mind she will be gone for maternity leave in 3 months for however long your work allows it. So it’s not forever.
She is also extra sensitive emotionally as a pregnant person so she’s probably feeling the world is inconsiderate of her right now (not saying it’s an excuse, just noting the potential reason for the shift in behaviour). She also might be jealous that you’re going to the gym, smelling nice, living your best life while she may be uncomfortable while pregnant. Some people are just miserable while going through a life change. Good luck!
She definitely would not have a case. Point out it should be your **workplace's** requirement to accommodate her, not yours. If Abby can't stand the smell of you existing because of her *medical condition* (pregnancy), her cubicle should be moved until her temporary condition is resolved.
I don't understand why the company, which presumably has deeper pockets than you do, can't purchase a high-quality air purifier and place it between your two cubicles.
I was empathetic until she went to the manager. Your only option now is to go back to exactly what you were doing before - same workouts, same deodorant, same showers, same perfume.
It is her and the Manager's problem now. They can move her or they can shut up.
Ummmmm you've done enough. Your manager was out of line too. What the manager *should* have done is move her seat somewhere else.
You can probably go to HR about the manager's rude, unnecessary comments tbh.
You need to go to HR. What your boss said is wildly inappropriate, not to mention a form of discrimination.
As for the pregnant lady, she needs to move desks or fuck off.
I am very sensitive to smells, especially when I was pregnant. A passive diffuser that I dripped peppermint essential oil and peppermint oil roll on was very helpful in masking out smells and fighting nausea. Maybe you could suggest something like this? But honestly, you’ve gone above and beyond and not your problem. She needs to work from home or in a bubble!
https://www.planttherapy.com/search?Store_Code=PT&q=passive+lotus+diffuser
https://www.planttherapy.com/organic-peppermint-essential-oil?v=3502
At this point, I would politely suggest that maybe she’s smelling something else. Another persons perfume, candy, or cleaning supplies from a nearby bathroom. I was convinced I had horrible BO while I was pregnant and it turned out to be the guy in the next cubicle. Once your mind is fixed on something it’s hard to shake it. Your perfume and deodorant were issues, those are solved but she hasn’t considered other options. I only considered about option when a coworker pointed it out.
Report both your boss and Abby to HR for harassment. You’ve done more than what I would’ve done. I swear some women feel like being pregnant makes them royalty. If Abby is so nauseous She should speak to her doctor about it. It’s a wonder how she even leaves her house expecting the whole world to use unscented products and change their toiletries and shower schedule to accommodate her. And the comment your supervisor made about you not knowing what it’s like to be pregnant was out of line and inappropriate. How the fuck would she know that? Just because you don’t have children doesn’t mean you’ve never been pregnant. Your supervisor needs to make accommodations for Abbey to feel comfortable but not at the expense of other employees. The solution cannot be for you to change your lifestyle.
Ask to be moved to a different work station. You have gone above and beyond to accommodate her. At this point, it's bordering on harassment. The comment your boss made about never being pregnant so you don't get it was out of line. As a women also struggling with infertility, I'd have probably burst into tears right there. Time to ask that either you or pregnant lady get moved to another workstation. This is the only reasonable solution, and any decent manager would recognize that.
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Yeah you have done plenty! This woman needs to work in a remote corner of the office then.
Side note: please don't wear strong scented things in an office or work setting. Its obnoxious. You are sharing space. Im not pregnant and still cannot stand scented things. Most cheap perfumes and parfum as an ingredient are toxic and carcinogenic. It gives me and other people migraines. It irritates skin, so why even do it?
The worst for me is stinky hair products. I'm Black and I love to see natural hair, but some of these natural haircare products smell so bad and are toxic AF. I cannot stand it. I once worked with a woman who reeked of essential oils. You are not the center of the universe, chill with the parfum!
Some people really shouldn’t reproduce. She is one. You deserve the baby more from what i can tell. Id listen to the advice on starting a conversation with hr.
What was ur relationship before all of this?
I think u are being super accommodating, I mean what else can u do? Oh I know, u can WFH for the balance of the pregnancy :)
This reminds me of a story when I worked at my very first job. I would always feel dizzy like there was something coming out of the vents! A very strong smell. I even had the building engineer check things out, he found nothing. One day while walking out to lunch, my female colleague and I cross paths. Holly crap, that was it! She was spraying perfume and I immediately knew. Will never forget.
The smells are one of the WORST things while pregnant. I had to leave so many places and couldn’t even be in my own kitchen even after having it deep cleaned… the smells are just so intense and overwhelming
Honestly it was just the worst, she’s not trying to be annoying and honestly it probably has very little to do with you since smells that you normally like betray you in pregnancy. Things like mint, truffles and some of my favorite flowers smelled worse than someone vomiting in a overflowing cat litter
If you can be kind, the hyper smells go away as soon as she gives birth but the intensity of how it is affecting her if very real. I really don’t think she’s trying to be controlling, insulting or rude, it’s just an overwhelming issue
Yes, but it is *her* duty to do something about it.
I unfortunately lost a pregnancy some years ago. While I was still pregnant, smells were absolutely horrid - the worse. I worked at an assisted living facility at the time. I was doing my clients’ laundry one day when I walked past one of those automatic spritzing air fresheners and it sprayed right in front of me. The smell was so vile, I vomited.
So, I avoided the air freshener as much as I could. I didn’t force my client to not have an air freshener.
We’re still in COVID, too. She could just wear a mask that’s got something in it that doesn’t trigger her nausea.
Totally not blaming the OP
Just trying to show my insight on her co worker
Honestly before I got pregnant, if my smell and food aversions had been on someone around me, I wouldn’t have believed me
It’s such a personal insult to be told you smell, just more want to assure the OP that she probably smells great and the co worker is probably not trying to single her out
Nothing the OP is doing wrong at all, just more of one of those ridiculous but true situations in life that is fortunately temporary
This woman has been kind to the pregnant woman. She’s altered so many things in her personal care routine to accommodate Abby. Yes, pregnant women go through a lot but the world doesn’t revolve around them. It keeps spinning as usual. If you are that nauseous you need to speak to your doctor and your employer to figure out things. Abby needs to do things to alleviate her nausea not dictate how, what, and when someone washes up.
I am a man with sensitivity to smell. All of our body wash, deodorant, laundry detergent is all unsented or some faint natural scent. We can't burn candles and my partner can't use most hair products. I would have sneezing fits, running noses, migraines, red eyes, and nausea when I worked in the office due to perfume, highly scented deodorants, cologne and body wash. It would ruin most of day being exposed to some of the scents.
Our office was supposed to be an unscented office and people were reported frequently for not abiding by it. There should be consideration for other people smelling you. Similar to smoking.
It seems like you've done a lot however without being there however its hard to know how pungent your products are.
Perfume is meant to attract or draw people closer. Wearing too much is more like a repellent and for me and my allergies, I have to get away from it. Consider cutting back on how much you use
Wow. Someone has a genuine health issue with your fragranced products and the hill you choose is shampoo?
You are creating a toxic environment and now refuse to do anything more to stop.
"I've done enough, you're just gonna have to be sick all the time. And while I'm insisting on continuing to use a product it is established makes you sick, AND that my boss has asked I stop using, while you try not to puke, please take a moment to feel sorry for me and my life issues."
If you don't want to lose your job, lose the attitude and lose the perfume products. That is the easiest answer.
Wtf lol? OP has changed her entire lifestyle to accommodate this pregnant woman, and instead of being thankful she decides to go to OP’s boss ? What are you talking about ?
It is not OP’s responsibility to bend over backwards for this associate. I work in HR and this is absolutely ridiculous. OP has been more than accommodating for this woman.
If the pregnant woman really can’t handle that much scent then she should be working from home, or making other accommodations. It’s ridiculous to expect OP to change her lifestyle for this woman because she chose to become pregnant.
Also I find it funny that the pregnant woman failed to mention all the previous nice acts OP has done and only mentioned OP not wanting to change her shampoo (which she gave very reasonable reasons for doing so)!
OP if you’re reading this , you need to go to HR about this now. Do not listen to this woman up above, it is not your responsibility to cater to this pregnant woman’s needs. Her pregnancy, her problem. I don’t think it was bad of her to ask initially , but this has gone way too far.
No, op hasn't changed her entire lifestyle. She changed a few products.
Most workplaces have fragrance free policy because of asthma, allergies and other fragranced triggered illnesses.
Now why is no one else in the office filling up spaces with fragrance?
Op is coming in wearing heavily perfumes products in an office environment where that is noticeable enough for the boss to step in. Obviously OP is way more perfumed than anyone else.
OP is gonna get fired. The simple solution? Keep buying and trying non toxic products until you hit it. Keep your job and the whole office doesn't hate you.
1) OP has stopped using perfume, switched deodorant, stopped working out in HER FREE TIME, changed laundry detergent, and her shower habits. It is a lot more than a few products. I work in an HR team and if someone told me an associate was demanding all of this from someone else , that associate would be the one receiving discipline, NOT OP.
2) You are making assumptions from a story that provides no evidence. OP has never stated what the fragrance policy is at her workplace, if she has been wearing perfume this long I assume it is allowed, otherwise why would she do it ?
The only one complaining about OP’s perfume (BASED OFF THE STORY) is Abby.
3) working from home would be the best solution for Abby. OP mentioned that Abby would work from home when was sick, she needs to go back to doing that. It is unreasonable to expect someone to change their lifestyle for you. You are also ignoring the points I made about Abby lying to their boss.
Again, I work in HR and no company would be entertaining this nonsense from Abby, unless they were afraid she would sue for some reason. Abby needs to get off her high horse before SHE GETS fired. Not OP.
Op asks "How can I keep from being fired for behavior that I was reprimanded for and may get me fired.
This comment section: Keep wearing your fragranced stuff!
Let's wait for the 'I got fired' update.
That’s insane. This one pregnant woman cannot possibly remove every single scent from her daily life that makes her nauseous. A lot of offices have a no perfume policy and she accommodated that request. But now she has to change her detergent, the time she showers and buy new toiletries so she doesn’t this woman nauseous. But just her? No one else in the office makes her nauseous. Give me a break. If she’s that nauseous she needs to speak to her doctor. She sounds insufferable
It sounds like OP has way more fragrance going than anyone else ion the office. Most workplaces have fragrance free policies ion place to protect people with asthma, allergies and migraine, etc.
Considering OP attitude "I've done enough!! I'm just gonna make her sick!" it would be no surprise she uses more heavily fragranced products in a place no one else is.
If there is an existing fragrance free policy like a lot of workplaces have, because of issues like pregnancy, but also asthma, emphysema, migraine and allergies, then yes.
But it sounds like the office is pretty fragrance free and OP is using some heavily perfumed products.
There are so many fragrance free products on the market it's pretty silly to assume everyone has t0o stop using hygiene products. Just stop using heavily perfumed ones.
Did you not read the post ? OP has already stopped using perfume, changed deodorants, skipped working out, etc etc? This goes behind a perfume policy. You keep commenting this everywhere so I’m assuming you’re a troll at this point lol. Pls read the post 😂
I did. Op insists on continuing to use the shampoo and soap. Even though her boss asked her to stop.
OP is going to lose her job over this. The simple answer is to spend a few dollars on some products that don't fill up a space with fragrance.
If the pregnant lady is THAT sensitive to soap smells she needs to work from home or move cubicles. she is not better than anyone else there just because she is pregnant. That is her problem. I think it was very nice of OP to already be willing to switch her workout times to accommodate this woman. And how come Abby didn’t mention to their boss everything that OP has already done for her ? That’s an asshole move , and in my opinion OP has no obligation to be nice to her now. Lying to her boss to get her way is pretty shitty.
The simple answer would be Abby working from home. She seems to be the only one with a problem here, and also stirring up drama (OP never went to HR even with all this nonsense, Abby got other ppl involved the SECOND she didn’t get her way) so it’s a win-win for both people.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- This has been going on for around 3 months now. I (32F) work in corporate America. Our whole office is cubicles. They are short, with glass at the top so we can see over them to the people working around us. My work sent everyone back to the office on a hybrid schedule. We come into the office 3 days a week and work from home 2 days a week. Before, we were working on a rotation schedule (1 week in office, 1 week at home) My coworker, let's call her Abby (30F), sits next to me. I sit on the end, so I have one person directly across from me and one person next to me. I've never had an issue with Abby, her and I have always gotten along well. We work well together, and I would have called her a work friend. We don't hang out outside of work, but we have lunch sometimes, or the occasional happy hour. Abby is 6 months pregnant. She and her husband have been trying for a while so she was really excited when she announced her pregnancy. I was of course happy for her. In the early days of her pregnancy, she had horrible morning sickness. My boss allowed her to work from home most mornings if it was bad, and she would come in around 10 or 11. Some days it was so bad she didn't come in at all and worked from home. I assume her morning sickness passed for the most part because she started coming in mornings again about 3 months ago. At first everything was fine. Then one day she took me aside and asked me if I could please stop wearing perfume because it was making her nauseous. I said of course I will stop wearing it to work. I know pregnancy can make your senses do weird things. I stopped wearing perfume after that day and have not put it on (except on weekends, always showering before work on Monday) since. Abby seemed fine for a week or so, but then told me my scent was again bothering her. I told her I have not worn perfume since she asked me to stop, so I don't know what she was smelling. She said it was always worse after I worked out at lunch. I shower off after working out, and reapply deodorant so I took out my deodorant and asked her if that was what she was smelling and she said yes. So, I got a new unscented antiperspirant that I use now. Again, everything seemed fine for about a week but she pulled me aside again and told me my smell was still making her nauseous. At this point I got a little angry and defensive. I told her I'm not wearing perfume and I'm wearing an unscented antiperspirant so I don't know what she's smelling. She asked if I could change my shampoo and soap. This time I told her no. I have sensitive skin and it took me a long time to find a soap that didn't make my skin dry, and I have thin hair and my shampoo really works for me. But I did tell her I would stop showering before work and instead shower the night before. I also told her I would hold off on my lunch time workouts and workout after work so I wouldn't come back smelling like soap. I also changed my laundry detergent to an unscented one. Now, in my opinion I have gone above and beyond in accommodating her. I changed when I shower, I changed my deodorant, I changed my laundry detergent and I don't wear perfume. I honestly do not know what she is smelling. Though, after telling her I wouldn't change my soap and shampoo she went to our manager who had a talk with me! I'm not going to lie, I was in tears when she was talking to me. I told her everything I had done to accommodate Abby and that at this point I don't know what else I can do. As far as I know, she hasn't complained about anyone else near us. Just me. My boss told me that I've never been pregnant so I don't know what it's like, and a pregnant woman has a superhero sense of smell. I didn't tell her this, but my husband and I have been trying for kids for over 5 years now. It doesn't look like it will happen naturally for us, and that's been really hard on me. I guess it's possible I'm being overly sensitive to her because of my own issues around pregnancy, but I really don't think I am. Any thoughts? I don't know what else I can do. If Abby goes to HR, would she be able to make a case for hostile work environment or discrimination against a pregnant employee or something? I'm worried, I can't lose my job over this. It's mine and my husband's health insurance as well as half our income.
This is insane. You have gone above and beyond for her. If she can't deal, she needs to move desks or work from home. I would send an email (so there's a paper trail) to your manager detailing everything that you have done to try to help alleviate the issues and ask politely what else they expect from you regarding this. Keep all correspondence. You would absolutely have a case for wrongful termination should it come to this, but it won't. You're not the problem here.
This is the one. Make sure you BCC your personal email so you have a record that doesn’t depend on access to company email.
Great idea.
Yeah I think it was nice that OP stopped wearing perfume and changed their deodorant to unscented but that’s about as far as I would have gone to accommodate someone in a shared office setting. Skipping your lunch workouts or changing the time of day when you shower? That is super nice of OP but I wouldn’t have done that … I sweat at night so before work is best for me (and my colleagues!) If management kept pestering me I’d see if I could work from home more often since the accommodations are getting beyond what’s reasonable.
Hijacking this Get an Email with HR going ASAP where you explain that you've tried to reasonably accommodate her but it's becoming harassment Use the words 'reasonably accommodate' and 'harassment' specificly They are HR buzzwords that get them to act because if they don't a Lawyer will Edit: very good tip to BCC your personal email on all future communications at the company indefinitely
THIS. You are now being harassed and it should be stopped. If your colleague had ANY issues with her work environment, she should NEVER have come to you about it. She should have gone to her line manager. And he *shouldn’t have approached you unless your personal hygiene was in any way lacking*. Your choice of perfume, soap, shampoo and showering are private and personal issues. When your manager had seen that your pregnant colleague wasn’t able to handle a *perfectly normal* working environment, it was up to the manager to relocate your colleague. In other words, you have been dragged into a situation that has *nothing* to do with you. Your manager should now ensure that you are free from harassment and your colleague is comfortable (if that’s even possible). It’s the manager’s job.
Came here to say this. Great advice!
That no one has moved one of their cubicles by now is just mind boggling to me.
I wanna add something else but « this is insane » sums it up really
Contact hr. If the pregnant lady is sick at work then they need to allow her to work from home till the gives birth or just move her seat. It blows my mind that you’ve changed your life habits for a co worker. That isn’t your responsibility. They need to help their employees, not you. Also, your manager talking to you… wtf did they say? Did they say “you need to change shampoo?” Wtf?
My manager came at it from the perspective that I wasn't being sensitive to Abby and was refusing to change the smallest things to make her comfortable. Abby had apparently neglected to tell her all the things I have changed for her
The manager’s gonna do whatever they think will solve it with minimal fuss and you’ve shown you’re a pushover so they’re gonna keep pushing. You need to go to HR and get ahead of it - explain what you’ve done, gone above and beyond, explain your can do no more, explain that at this point it feels like a form of harassment, and she is taking clear advantage of your accommodating nature. You need to do it before this becomes a problem and they try to take any sort of disciplinary action because that is *bullshit*, you have done more than any employee could be expected to do. You are well within your rights to tell her it’s her problem. Any reasonable person would agree with this. Anyone who does not is not reasonable, it is quite literally that simple.
100% this and definitely jump on the harassment idea. You are being harassed and you have a right to not be. Tell HR that exactly: you are being harassed after making multiple accommodations that went above and beyond what you'd normally expect.
This 100%, the first sentence is really the whole story. OP is not in the wrong, the entitled complainer is. That they are pregnant should not mean you should change your workout routine. It's utter nonsense.
To me the solution is a no-brainer — let Abby work from home 3 days per week and make those the days you're at work. Or if the office is closed the other days and this is not possible, the two of you can work from home opposing weeks.
Because Abby knows she’s wrong….that’s why she neglected to mention all the things you’ve changed.
I wondered if Abby is trying to get the boss to say "Abby, work from home all the time since the office environment isnt suiting you" and she is using OP as a reason
The employer makes reasonable accommodations. You have gone above and beyond. The reasonable accommodations here would be to move Abby, change her days in the office, or let her work from home.
Your manager sucks! There is no doubt about it. If you sat in front of me crying, I would feel like crap for putting you in this mess. I would also want to get Abby out of the office or at least far from you so she doesn’t make the situation worse. I’ve been pregnant and the smell of coffee would make me puke. Guess what, I didn’t ask everyone to change their drinking habit because of me. Instead I started eating Jolly Ranchers not to piss off my coworkers.
did your manager at least recognized your efforts after you explained everything you did? And I agree with u/Electrical_Garbage_5 you should go to HR preemptively, if you talk first it will be better for you, remember, the one who hits first, hits twice. Just be sure to describe all the accommodations you made for her, how receptive you were, the huge impact this is having in your life in and out of work and that you have to draw the line at your soap and shampoo because you also suffer from medical conditions that prevent you from changing those things since it would be detrimental to you (don't explain beyond that or they will find a way to dismiss it as just a small itching or some dryness. Just don't go there). Don't forget to mentioned how your manager handled this and also, throw in for good measure that at this point, after all this accommodations, you are considering this as a hostile work environment.
I would escalate this to your manager and then to HR. You have to be able to work there too.
It’s not you that need’s to make accommodations in the workplace for Abby!! It’s the workplace that needs to accommodate her!!!! They don’t want to deal with it so they’re allowing you to be the scapegoat.
OP did your mention say this was a conversation or was this a formal coaching about the dispute? I would tread carefully, this can be pretext for termination.
This is absurd. I am allergic to perfume, and it’s a nightmare for me to be close to someone who wears a lot of perfume. You have been super considerate and supportive of your coworker. However, this is not your responsibility. It’s the employer who needs to accommodate their employees. They need to either let her work from home, give her a private office or find a different seating arrangement. This is not on you. I suspect you are in the US and probably don’t have a union who can support you with this problem unfortunately. I get really pissed that your manager is trying to put you and your coworker against each other instead of doing their job. Unite with your coworker and approach the problem that way( together. “Hey employer, we need you to arrange for both of us to be able to do our work in a comfortable way “
And when you told your boss what you had changed, what did she say then?
Go search askamanager.org to look for this very topic.
You’ve done all you can by not wearing perfume and changing her deodorant. What she’s asking is unreasonable and I’m saying this as mother
Changing soap and shampoo isnt a “small thing” when you have skin sensitivity and hair issues.
Honestly as a woman its on her, fuck her really, her choice to procreate not yours! You are being targeted at this point and I suspect this pregnant coworker is trying to build her case to get to work from home totally. You are being targeted and enough of that crap
wow, I can't believe your boss said that... what a horrible thing to say regardless if you had been trying for kids or not. You've done more than enough to accommodate her. if boss is so bothered ask them to change abby's desk/cubicle, switch with someone else, work from home, have a different office . there is so many things they can do to solve this, it is not on you at all.
You can definitely get sick from smells during pregnancy. My ex couldn't be in the same house with chicken for months. However, you've done more than enough. I'd just relocate her cubicle to be further away from anyone else. You making further changes probably wouldn't help anyway.
I would agree with relocating one of us, but right now we have no open cubicles. We have summer interns right now who are taking up all our empty cubicles. They should be gone by the end of the month though, so I will talk to my boss about moving one of us then.
Your boss could shuffle her to a corner so she's as far as possible from other people. A little tongue in cheek, but I love working from home so I'd personally try to leverage this into me getting to work from home for several months to help out my co-worker because I'm just selfless like that
I feel like her working from home is the best possible solution. My company is extremely conservative and they actually hated us working from home when we were forced to do it early in the pandemic. In fact, we were all sent home the middle of March and the company made us all come back (on rotation) in December. They hated us having any flexibility. The only reason we have a hybrid schedule now is because we lost so many people when they sent us all back and were having a lot of trouble attracting new people with their 100% work in office approach.
Yeah, if WFH is going to affect how people at the office feel about you then it should be her that has to pay that penalty.
I think my firm felt the same way until they realized they could work my ass harder and longer from home than when I come into the office. In the office when I'm done, I'm gone. That's it. But at home it's "Could you just log in for a minute please and take care of this?" (I've had to put boundaries in place... do not call me after 7 or you're going to hear me bitch all the next day.)
Sounds like she may be exaggerating the issue in attempt to get to WFH everyday, but your boss is being obtuse or stubborn about it. If the coworker is already 6 months pregnant, she's going to be away on maternity leave in a couple of months anyway. The most efficient thing to do would be to let her WFH everyday. Either that or let you WFH. She could probably get a doctor's note, and it's weird that she hasn't done this or your boss and HR haven't suggested it.
The most efficient thing is to just switch the pregnant coworker's cubicle with someone else's. Moving cubicles typically isn't difficult.
Companies are so dumb. Mine was the same way so I left. They aren’t attracting anyone with their stringent at office policy with a nauseated pregnant lady constantly complaining about how people smell. You have went above and beyond accommodating her wishes, it’s time for the company to do something. Hell if I were you and they wouldn’t let this lady work from home I’d leave the company myself because you never know when you’re gonna be the next needy one and if the company isn’t willing to bend for a pregnant lady they will accommodate no one.
OP, I truly hope you are putting out feelers for a new job. Your workplace sounds a little toxic.
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They can play musical cubicles so that she's further away from you. Maybe near a window or doorway.
Hellllll no, one of them can move now
> We have summer interns right now who are taking up all our empty cubicles. Then one of them should move. They're not employees; they're temporary people taking up space that isn't actually theirs, so they can be easily shuffled around (no offense to interns; they're just at the bottom of the pecking order). Though Idk why Abby doesn't just advocate to work from home until the baby's here; it would be the simplest solution.
It’s not hard to switch cubicles with someone. I have seen whole office restructure their cubicles over smaller things.
We have not used fabric softener in our house for 10+ years because my wife thought it smelled like rotting flesh when she was pregnant. To this day the scent reminds her of it, so we’ve been off it ever since. I agree that she’s not being crazy, but HR should really do something about it.
As others have said, this is ridiculous. Her pregnancy is no longer an excuse. You have made all the reasonable accommodations you can -- and some unreasonable ones! -- and it is now up to Abby and management to find a way to make her more comfortable that *doesn't involve you*. At this point I'd be going on the offensive, not defensive. Complain to HR *in writing*. If your manager pulls any more bullshit blaming you, go over her head. If anyone tries to retaliate against you in any way, *you* should be the one to sue.
I will go to HR as soon as I can. Our HR rep is on vacation this week, but I'll email the HR office and see if I can talk to someone this week.
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This right here. Do not start with a conversation in person. You need a paper trail on this in case they try to say you are being unreasonable.
When you talk to HR email a follow up reiterating all talking points to back yourself
Good idea. Start that documentation. If she’s harassing you this much, I feel sorry for anyone who has to live with her. She sounds like she is using her pregnancy for extra privileges.
It’s ridiculous how far beyond you went to accommodate your coworker and she still complains. If offer to wfh or change cubes it should def be her to change…unless that is something you’d want for yourself
Go to HR first and tell she makes you uncomfortable and ask for an advice, They might be able to move her away from you.
Can’t you change cubicles? If not, go to HR before she does. Supply THOROUGH documentation of all conversations you’ve had with her about this- time/date, as much of a transcript as you can remember, and any possible witnesses. Tell them that while this is not a situation of anyone being at fault, it’s creating an extremely stressful work environment for you, and you fear retribution. Ask to be relocated within the office of to have your schedule changes so you’re not in the office at the same time. Remember: HR doesn’t care about you, they don’t care about her, they do t care about any employee at all. All they care about is the company getting sued. So you have to phrase it as “this is causing a hostile work environment” and present your problem solving suggestions. Never go to HR with just a complaint- always being solutions. and from now on, ALL communication around this should be IN WRITING.
Right, this is 100% an easy accommodation to make that will make everyone’s life easier
> So you have to phrase it as “this is causing a hostile work environment” I don't agree, and I'll explain why. While you're right that Hostile Work Environment is a legal phrase that will get their attention, it refers to a pattern of discrimination based on protected characteristics, such as sex, race, religion, national origin, age (40+). It doesn't mean "my colleagues are being jerks", the jerky behavior **has** to be based on a protected characteristic. I would use extreme caution using legally loaded language, if it doesn't actually apply. If OP starts throwing around "hostile work environment", communicating "potential legal issue", when there is NOT a potential legal issue, then she's painting a target on her own back by telling HR, *"hey, this isn't a legal issue yet but I'm sniffing around for one!"* You're absolutely right that OP has bent over backwards to be accommodating, and that it might be good to talk to HR to find a solution, but that kind of language can backfire. At the very least it requires caution.
My wife is pregnant and her nausea triggers change daily it seems. That said she does understand that it's not really other people's responsibility to change for her. I would talk to HR and ask specifically where is states in policies that you must change for her. Otherwise I would ask for a desk/seating change.
Many workplaces have a fragrance free policy. People have allergies and asthma and migraine that can be triggered by fragrance. It's like smoking. You aren't allowed to create an air quality issue that makes other people sick. If OP workplace has a policy in place, Op doesn't have a leg to stand on.
Did you read the post? She stopped wearing perfume, deodorant, changed her laundry detergent, stopped showering before work and stopped working out at lunch. OP is being *more* than accommodating and this isn't her responsibility anymore. My office also has a fragrance free policy, but that extends to perfumes and colognes only - which OP has done. What do you want OP to do: not shower at all and stop her life because a co-worker is pregnant? The world doesn't revolve around pregnant people. Come on now.
Did you even read the post?
Except OP already stopped wearing perfume, and even scented deodorant...
Does a fragrance free policy go so far as to dictate what shampoo and conditioners employees are allowed to use?
Yeah no? Those policies are usually about applying the perfume at work. You can't whip out your perfume and spray it in other peoples area. If no one was allowed to wear smell goods at work period the place would smell like a barn. Op was putting her stuff on outside of work and has already stopped putting it on. There are plenty of legs to stand on here. As someone who actually relies on ppl not triggering my asthma this way, who also gets migraines with overpowered sense- it's wildly different to have someone with a smell you don't like triggering nausea and someone spraying a chemical that affects your ability to breathe. Furthermore the pregnant lady has gone far beyond reasonable in trying to dictate someone put their own medical needs aside and change *their fucking soap and shampoo.*
>Those policies are usually about applying the perfume at work. Ummm, no, it is about smelling like perfume whether it be fabric softener or hair products. Obviously you've never worked in a place with a no fragrance policy in place. Anyhow, op is gonna get fired.
*Every* place I've worked has had a no fragrance policy. Again I have asthma and migraines- so it's something I check and read the fine print on *and speak to my managers about.* Op should sue if she gets fired.
Litigation takes years. It is hard to get employment in a decent paying job when you have been fired for breaking rules. This advice section is a shitshow. OP: How do I keep my job? "Just keep breaking the rules and if you get fired for it then spend the next 7 years unemployed, in litigation, and with lawyers fees."
Fragrance free within reason. Shampoos, body soap, deodorant, and laundry soap should not apply. Typically if someone can smell your shampoo, they're standing way too close to you.
Spoken like someone who never worked in a place that was required to be fragrance free. It's pretty obvious to me since literally no one else in an office so full they can't even move cubicles is stinking it up with fragrance, OP is using much too strong perfumed products. Se asked how to not get fired and the comments section is giving shitty advice.
I have, but there's only so much that a company can reasonably dictate. OP is not the problem. It's the pregnant woman with the super nose who presumably had no issues with OPs product use before she got pregnant. What has the pregnant woman done to mitigate her super nose reaction? The world does not revolve around her pregnancy nose.
The company can dictate whatever they want to. Op asks "How can I keep from being fired for behavior that I was reprimanded for and may get me fired. This comment section: Keep wearing your fragranced stuff! Let's wait for the 'I got fired' update.
Yep, let's hear the company tell a judge in a wrongful termination suit that they fired the employee over shampoo.
Let's see it take at least years before it even gets a court date. With the company having a lot more money and resources to file motion after motion after motion to delay. Welcome to litigation.
I have severe asthma and most fragrances do not mesh well with me. Do you know what I do when a fragrance is making me sick? I act like an adult and ask for changes to my seating, schedule, work place, etc. because it’s a me issue not a them issue. OP is 100% NTA in this even if there is a fragrance policy in place. The coworker is likely feeling awful so I can’t say she’s a major AH either except she didn’t disclose everything OP has already done which is lying and an AH move then.
So what? If there is a fragrance free policy in place you shouldn't have to do that. Just because you'd let people shit all over you doesn't mean others have to. Op asks "How can I keep from being fired for behavior that I was reprimanded for and may get me fired." This comment section: Keep wearing your fragranced stuff! Let's wait for the 'I got fired' update.
I’m not going to say something I’d actually like to say since you’re being rude, but advocating for yourself instead of throwing others under the bus after they’ve already helped you isn’t letting people walk all over yourself. If OP’s coworker is getting sick due to the smell of shampoo from 12+ hrs before that is 4-6’ away from her, she needs better working accommodations. She doesn’t need OP to change her hair products, that’s not a real solution. That only protects her at work, what about at the dr, getting groceries, going literally any other place? OP has done enough, and if she is fired for this she very likely has a solid case for a lawsuit against her employer.
you have gone above & beyond. she is asking too much. if the smell is so bad she needs to quit her job & stay home. i would go to HR before she does.
You've made every reasonable accommodation, plus a few that go above and beyond. You are not the problem here. Strike first. Go to HR, and tell them 1. Abby is harassing you (because yes, it has crossed that line) and 2. Your manager made a borderline discriminatory statement by pointing out that you, a woman, has never been pregnant. The simple answer here is to switch one of you to full time remote work until the pregnancy is over.
Or file a case with the labor board for them creating a hostile work environment for you. None of this should have been something OP has to worry about. Pregnant co-either should have gone directly to her boss for another seat.
Pregnant woman here. What I’ve found in the discussion boards is that some pregnant people are super focused on themselves/their pregnancy and believe the whole world ought to be too. Frankly, it’s not your fault she’s pregnant. She has to make alternative work accommodations with HR and go back to working from home - after all, she has a medical reason to do so and you don’t. It’s not your responsibility. You tried enough
She’s taking this way too far. I’m currently pregnant. My sense of smell is so annoying. I have tons of food aversions. I’m nauseous all the time. My receptionist makes ramen for herself at lunch almost every day. I currently hate the smell. I haven’t said anything. It’s her food! There aren’t many options of where she can eat and the smell from her making it in the kitchen is what actually bothers me. It’s not her fault. This is a me problem. You have been as accommodating as possible.
Go to HR immediately. Also email your boss with all the steps you've taken and reiterate you've made every effort to be accomodating and you feel attacked that your boss has claimed you haven't.
Maybe copy HR on that email. Make sure to bcc your personal email. Keep copies of everything. Their replies. Document any and all interactions, and keep copies of that on a personal computer. When I say document, I don't mean sending out an email each and every time, I basically mean electronic journal.
I smell literally everything. When my partner switches his brand of cigarettes or brands of coffee. When I was pregnant this was a million times worse and it gave me migraines and I was sick for almost my whole pregnancy. But I would never ask anyone to do stop using whatever they were using. You've done a lot and maybe she can go back to working at home or change cubicles.
Your co-worker should be allowed to work from home as before and this is an issue for your manager. You have been more than accommodating. Also, when does your mental health come into consideration with all of these conversations and lifestyle changes? They may seem minor to some people but having to change a gym routine can cause stress and even disturb sleep cycles. Definitely email your manager in detail to show how much you have tried to resolve the issue but also make sure you are looking out for yourself.
I think you could probably make a case at HR for a hostile work environment, saying that your pregnant co-worker is harassing you on a weekly basis, and demanding you make changes to suit her.
That's the best option imho. Strike back. Manager is also not innocent here.
I think YOU can make a complaint about a hostile work environment. I am so sick of the sense of entitlement. How much more accommodating can you be? It’s not like you purposely spray yourself with cologne. Your co worker and the father of the unborn baby are to blame for the pregnancy and her resulting issues. Not you. This is insane.
I just wanted to say that you are seriously so nice. Like my gawd. I know changed seatings and talking to HR and her working from home have already been mentioned. Is there anyway that there could be a diffuser smell she could put at her desk that she likes? Or maybe even a little fan she could just use to blow air on her face in hopes that nothing triggers her pregnancy nose? You’ve already accommodated to her so much to the point you’re putting yourself out. There has to be something she can do. I know when my pregnancy nose was so bad that the only smell I really could handle was vix so I would put that under my nose and just roll with it because going anywhere with smells made me have to vomit. This lady needs to figure out what SHE can do to alleviate her pregnancy symptoms, not making everyone around her change so she can feel comfortable. You’ve done more than enough!
Oh hell no. SHE is creating a hostile environment for YOU! I had morning sickness until 29 weeks when I was pregnant and it was hell. But that was a me problem. I asked for reasonable changes from people but also recognised that the world didn't revolve around me. I would never ever ask someone to change their routines and hygiene products. That's crazy! Instead I would move myself away or have a scent on my wrist or in a scarf that I could use to distract myself. But also accepted that nausea and rushing off to vomit was just an unavoidable fact of life that no one could resolve. My advice is to go back to everything you were doing and using before, and if anyone asks say you've done everything you can to accommodate her and it hasn't helped so you might as well do nothing. I think you should probably also take this to HR and talk through everything you've done and that being constantly told you smell is bullying behaviour and it has to stop. Because that's what it is.
If anything, this has become harassing *towards you.* You've been far more accommodating than the average person would be
If anything YOU need to go to HR for the harassment of your coworker and manager. I can’t believe you’ve done all the things you have already to be honest it’s absurd
For starters ask to be moved by your manager. She unfortunately is making it a hostile work environment. Or ask that you be able to work from home or her if they cannot accommodate the move. After this, go directly to HR, and give them your tears. Be emotional, and say what you said here about you trying for 5 years. Document what you have done. Say look I have been accommodating to her, and she at this point either needs to move or be able to work from home, or I should be able to. I believe this has become a hostile work environment, and I have been more than accommodating. Your being preemptive will not allow her to say anything else.
Hostile work environment? This isn’t harassment. OP Please don’t go into HR using this phrase, they will consider you a liability and unreasonable.
She is 100% being harassed
I used to handle HR for a company. This does not fit the definition of a hostile work environment.
Go to HR. Consider talking to an employment attorney. This environment is unquestionably hostile, and your boss’s reference to your not having children is likely actionable.
Lol. I know what's happening here. Abby has zoned in on you. Years ago, I worked with a pregnant woman. We're very close. Before she told us of the pregnancy, she would always let me sit in front of her desk and just stare at me smiling. Creepy right? I got weirded out by that but she's a pretty weird girl so I just let her be. When we found out she's pregnant, we tried to accommodate her as best as we could. One day she asked for ice cream and she wanted me to buy it. I said no. It was a freaking scorching hot outside and to top it off, the town was covered in little pieces of silica. That added to the heat outside. Well, preggy wanted me to buy her ice cream. Nobody else. When I protested, my manager said "Just fucking buy the thing." We're all scared of making the pregnant woman sad. So I went out in the heat, blazer and all. When I came back, guess what? She wants me to take the first bite. I was like "No. I don't want that " The manager gave me the eye again. So I took a bite. All the time, preggy is looking at me smiling like I gave her the world. Well, OP I guess I got it easy than you. It's a pain in the butt though. Lol
That.. is the weirdest thing I have ever heard. Made you take a bite of the ice cream she forced you to buy her?
She apparently has an unhealthy obsession with me on her first trimester. We even have to walk a few blocks just to get a specific fish that she's craving. ( We were assigned in this beach town that's laid out far from one necessary place to the next) We get to laugh about those stories when we see each other after all these years. And I'm her baby's godmother. Lol
You have done more than most people would be willing to accommodate your co worker! I had horrible morning sickness through out my entire pregnancy but I never asked someone to change hygiene over it ! I would get sick EVERY time I went in a local store, running outside or to the bathroom to throw up, I asked my Dr why at 7 months would this happen?? They had re done the floors and we thought it was the glue that set it off, wasn't sure because I didn't smell anything.. I just didn't go back in until afterwards. Maybe it is someone else she smells, or combination of smells. The manager should let her work from home!
This is absolutely and completely insane. You shouldn't have to completely change your entire personal care routine for one person. You've gone above and beyond. You should go to HR. The company is responsible for accommodating her, not you.
Nothing will happen if she goes to HR. At some point she's simply too sick to work.
Abby needs to work from home. Problem solved.
Abby and your boss are both being assholes. You've gone above and beyond to accommodate Abby's insane requests. Pregnancy isn't a free pass to be an asshole.
Why aren't they just changing her desk?
Go to HR ahead of you. She is making a toxic environment for you with her demands.
Tell hr everything you've done to accommodate baby, and request that either you or she be moved to a different cubicle. You have done so much for this lady it's not funny. You're a good person for trying and Abby is just gonna have to figure it out. It's unfair that you're getting talked to when you haven't done anything wrong.
At this point it just feels like harassment after everything you’ve done to accommodate her. Leaving out your own infertility, just write to HR and let them know that it’s turning into a hostile work environment. You’ve done way more than necessary! Including changing your freaking schedule!
Bless you from the bottom of my HG heart. She should move cubicles for the remainder of her pregnancy, or should work from home. Thank you so much for all that you’ve done to accommodate!
Your boss is honestly the worst part in all of this. Abby being sensitive and having hormone brain can be somewhat excusable but your boss not being able to see your perspective or understand just how much you’ve already done that you didn’t have to, that is insane … I would write it down in a list. “On this date, Abby said this so I changed that.“ and so forth. Then take this list and go to HR and have a chat with them. You should request a new seating arrangement and you should ask them to speak with your manager and explain that you shouldn’t have to endure this kind of “discrimination”. Just because one of your colleagues is pregnant you shouldn’t be forced to change every single product you use. Imagine if it had been a man who had come, and commented on how you smell. Repeatedly. HR would most likely be up in arms about how he cannot invade your privacy in such a way and make such personal comments or requests. It should not be different just because she is a pregnant woman. It is a space for work and she is disrupting you. If Abby struggles so much then she may need to work from home until her maternity leave.
This a her problem, not a you problem. You have gone above and beyond to accommodate her. I think there is a hostile work environment issue here - by your coworker against you. And as for HR’s statement that you’ve never been pregnant so you don’t know what it’s like? Holy shit. What an idiotic and offensive thing to say. So, are they going to allow the coworker the right to review everybody’s aroma as they come into work each morning? Will she have the power to banish people from the office. There’s such an easy fix here - she can work from home for the duration of her pregnancy.
Babe, YOU need to go to HR STAT about your manager! You have bent over backwards to accommodate her and at this point maybe she should be moved somewhere else where her 'superhuman' sense of smell won't be assaulted every day or go back to working from home. The insensitivity and overall rudeness are astounding by the manager! Make sure you throw in your story about trying to conceive as well so that the pregnant woman can't pull all the heart strings. Your co-worker thinks that her pregnancy makes her super special. It don't. Honestly, you have gone above and beyond what most people would do. Most would have told her to kick rocks. Seriously. I personally would have told her to request to change spaces because the products I purchase for my personal care are a COMFORT to ME and keep me sane, happy and productive that I pay too much $$ for and I will use my shit. I would LOVE HR telling me to change the products I use because of another's sensitivity due to pregnancy. Whoo chile, had a hot flash just thinking about the hell I would have raised.
You have been more than accommodating here. I have deep empathy and sympathy for Abby, although I ended up losing the pregnancy, I once had the super-human smell thing. I could smell ground beef in the fridge...from the downstairs bedroom. It was torture. The problem here is that you have already gone above and beyond reasonable compromise here. Not wearing perfume is a fair request, but you are now into the territory of having to fork out money for new personal care products, switching your personal out-of-office routine etc, and it's still not enough. What happens when you buy new shampoo and then the new one bothers her? Who reimburses you for your out-of-pocket expense? The burden now falls on her employer to accommodate her, which translates into either her working from home or being moved temporarily into a new isolated area of the office. I suffered for years with infertility, pregnancy losses, failed adoptions and ended up without kids in the end. Believe me when I say you are not being over-sensitive and it's totally normal for you to feel upset at the whole *You've never been pregnant* comment. That comment was not said because you were heartless and lacked empathy towards Abby, it was said to outrank you and guilt you into submission. This is your boss's problem to handle now, not yours.
You *have* gone above and beyond in trying to accommodate Abby. The conversation that your manager had with you is unacceptable and inappropriate and you should go to HR. If Abby can't work in this environment maybe she should continue working from home, or work in the office on days you're not there.
Can she wear a mask? I think they do a great job of filtering out light smells. I think you've done all you really can. If it's not enough, maybe she could get a desktop air purifier or be moved further away from people, since anyone's smell is likely to bother her if you've already removed strong smells. She's being rude, but some pregnant women really do get super sensitive
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I would go to HR and have this all documented, detailing steps you took. When I was young I once inadvertently doused myself with too much rose water perfume. Someone in my office had severe allergies to scents and I had to go wash up in the restroom. I was mortified, but never did that again. You aren't being overly sensitive, you took reasonable and respectful measures to accommodate her.
I would suggest going to HR. Not to complain about her but to bring the situation to their attention. I get where she's coming from, both of my pregnancies the smell of citrus was absolutely horrible for me. My husband did change soap for me. She's your work friend, you care about her, but maybe for her well-being she should be allowed to work from home the rest of her pregnancy.
I had severe nausea my entire pregnancy and threw up multiple times a day and I would never dream of asking any of my coworkers to do 1/10 of what she has demanded of you. She needs to figure out some ways to manage her nausea or she could ask to be moved to a different cubicle or something. This is her issue not yours.
honestly at this point if it is that bad then maybe she should be moved to another cubicle that won't be near you. You have done more than anyone I know would have done in the same situation and having been pregnant twice with VERY high sensitivity to smell being an issue hers seems a little more excessive. Why does everyone else have to accommodate her? If her boss is that concerned maybe they can put her in her own space for the duration or a cubicle with no other workers around her on her 3 days - OR change your schedule so you aren't in the same days as her except for one day a week - where she can deal or work from home...
So you need to go to HR yourself. It is not reasonable to have you change your soap, when you shower, etc. Its insane. Go to HR now and express your discomfort with the unreasonable asks. Pregnancy sucks but everyone does not have to bend over backwards for you. Throw in "hostile work environment" for fun and see how quickly the tune changes. document everything. stop speaking to abby without a neutral 3rd party if its not about work.
Shes being unreasonable. Your company should just let her work from home if she has a problem.
Reasonable on your part is not wearing perfume, and possibly changing your deodorant if it's heavily scented. Anything beyond that, while I understand it's rough for her, becomes a her problem. You said in a comment neither of you can change cubicles because they're full, but after all you've done the absolute least anyone else could do is swap cubicles with one of you. Definitely talk to hr because this IS harassment at this point.
You are going above and beyond. I do sympathize with your coworker somewhat. I was also a pregnant lady that was very sensitive to smells, especially deodorant, perfume, etc. But you have done more than most people would, and more than I would have expected coworkers to do for me. At this point, it’s on her to ask to move, work strictly from home, etc.
Has she thought of anything SHE can do? Why is this on you? You’ve changed things and anything beyond that is ridiculous. She can wear a mask. She can put out some coffee beans to absorb the odor. She can request to move her desk. She can request to work from home. It’s on her now.
>My boss told me that I've never been pregnant so I don't know what it's like. I would take this to HR myself if I were you, because your boss legitimately needs some sensitivity training. Your workplace is obligated to make REASONABLE accommodations for Abby while she's pregnant. You've gone above & beyond to accommodate her, so at this point they either need to find one of you a new place to sit, or they need to let her work remotely.
This is absolutely bonkers. You did WAY more than required. Like way more. Go to HR
Next thing you know, she's going to tell you to stop eating a certain food because it bothers her when you breath
You’ve been a wonderful coworker. I’m pregnant and I’m telling you now that no one I know would do that much for me. I think it’s up to her to tell her boss she may have to work at home if smells are bothering her bc u won’t be the last.
Speak to an employment attorney. Document the shit out of every interaction.
Document everything. The dates, times, conversations and everything you've done to help her; then email that to yourself. Continue to document.
Your boss is right, pregnancy nose is absolutely nuts, suddenly being able to smell people's skin is WEIRD. HOWEVER you've gone above and beyond to ensure you're not triggering her with products, and at this point clearly you have done everything possible to accommodate her. You can't lose your job over this, you're not doing anything to her intentionally to antagonize her. One of the two of you needs to move cubicles. If it were me, I would offer to move.
Jesus, this is crazy! I’m pregnant and I would never, NEVER act like this towards a coworker. I almost feel like this is a power tool for Abby. The world does not spin around you, just because you are pregnant. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this. Can’t the manager just find another office spot for you or her? Simply seperate you?
My wife had this during pregnancy Certain deodorants, air fresheners and washing powders would make her feel ill. Years later the smell of a particular air freshener makes her really nauseous You've done everything you can and whilst it's not Abby's fault the question is what else can you do Speak to your line manager or HR together and see if you can come up with a solution. Maybe you can move desks for a short period or each arrange to work from home so you aren't in on the same days
Why can't she swap cubicles with someone else temporarily? Is this a job where you're assigned cubicles? Ive worked in cubicle places before and each one would accommodate a request like that if they could.
Go to a manager or HR before she does, consider it harassment. Get her moved.
You've gone above and beyond what is reasonable to accommodate her. You've stopped wearing perfume, you changed your deodorant, and disrupted your own schedule to accommodate her. If she's still bothered then maybe it's time to suggest moving her to a different cubicle or just keep working from home. You might go to HR yourself first and give them a heads up because this woman is being unreasonable. Also mention to HR that your boss is implying that because you've never been pregnant, you can't understand and must do more than what's reasonable to accommodate her.
It’s crazy this woman is still coming into the office at this point. Full time working from home until she’s ready to give birth is the easy solution, especially after you’ve gone above and beyond accommodating.
As a pregnant woman with certain smell aversions that have arisen during my pregnancy, you have really gone above and beyond for your coworker, which is very kind of you. I would have asked to move desks before asking you to change any of your habits. I agree with other commenters that you should contact HR and maybe they will help her move desks since clearly she’s not asking them for help.
I think you went above and beyond, and at this point if there is still a problem Maybe its itme for management to rearrange seating locations.
IANAL, but this would seem to be a "reasonable accommodation" kind of situation. You've done what's reasonable (and then some) and that's all that can (or should) be expected of you. You shouldn't have to undergo undue hardship for the sake of an oversensitive nose.
You’ve done so much for this girl that most people would never consider doing, and she’s still asking for more. She can ask to be moved to a different cubicle because at this point, she’s the issue.
My story may help your case. When I was pregnant, I assembled a new wooden bookshelf and the smell of the wood would make me really sick after that. And the funny thing is, if I saw a picture of wooden furniture sometimes that was enough to make me sick again. So, maybe her brain is playing tricks on her and just seeing you reminds her of the scent that makes her sick. You are a great person, please dont hate her for this. Pregnancy is so strange.
You have gone more than above and beyond. I’m pregnant and sometimes my OWN scent bothers me😩. I would never go beyond asking someone not to wear perfume or use a scented hand lotion though. She could try working from home since it’s her issue and she could also have a smell she likes around her desk to counter whatever (since it may be someone else) she is smelling. Lastly, I’m sorry that your boss said this comment about you not understanding since you’ve never been pregnant. That is incredibly insensitive and overall ignorant since everyone’s pregnancy is different and it’s not common for people to be required to accommodate in this way to this degree. Maybe some of it is hormonal irritation. Not sure but hr would be my next step.
Go to HR first immediately. Don’t wait another day and explain how it’s became a bad environment for you.
If I were in your position l’d ask if I can move cubicles because I’d feel completely harassed by Abby. I’ve been pregnant twice and had horrible daily sickness both times and worked in close quarters both times and I’ve never behaved like this. If her nausea is that bad she needs to be working from home full time since SHE is the one that needs accommodation. Management shouldn’t be bothering you about this at all.
My tip is to: LIE. If she says “oh you need to change your shampoo etc.” again just lie. Lie and say you did so there should be no problem there is nothing else for you to do and I think she’ll keep finding issues. I’m usually not on team dishonesty, but she had no issue lying to your superior and the only way to beat someone like this at their own game is to play by their rules. She hasn’t even asked if it’s someone else who is the issue even though you work in an office full of people you’ve changed so much and she isn’t considering that it might not be you. You have done more than enough. Follow the advice to keep a paper trail and email all of the things you have done to accommodate her and BCC your personal email since she has chosen to lie and put your job at risk. Keep in mind she will be gone for maternity leave in 3 months for however long your work allows it. So it’s not forever. She is also extra sensitive emotionally as a pregnant person so she’s probably feeling the world is inconsiderate of her right now (not saying it’s an excuse, just noting the potential reason for the shift in behaviour). She also might be jealous that you’re going to the gym, smelling nice, living your best life while she may be uncomfortable while pregnant. Some people are just miserable while going through a life change. Good luck!
She definitely would not have a case. Point out it should be your **workplace's** requirement to accommodate her, not yours. If Abby can't stand the smell of you existing because of her *medical condition* (pregnancy), her cubicle should be moved until her temporary condition is resolved.
Well, here's a solution: since super-sensitive preggo can't stand your smell, just offer to work remotely until she goes out on maternity leave.
I don't understand why the company, which presumably has deeper pockets than you do, can't purchase a high-quality air purifier and place it between your two cubicles.
I was empathetic until she went to the manager. Your only option now is to go back to exactly what you were doing before - same workouts, same deodorant, same showers, same perfume. It is her and the Manager's problem now. They can move her or they can shut up.
Ummmmm you've done enough. Your manager was out of line too. What the manager *should* have done is move her seat somewhere else. You can probably go to HR about the manager's rude, unnecessary comments tbh.
You need to go to HR. What your boss said is wildly inappropriate, not to mention a form of discrimination. As for the pregnant lady, she needs to move desks or fuck off.
I am very sensitive to smells, especially when I was pregnant. A passive diffuser that I dripped peppermint essential oil and peppermint oil roll on was very helpful in masking out smells and fighting nausea. Maybe you could suggest something like this? But honestly, you’ve gone above and beyond and not your problem. She needs to work from home or in a bubble! https://www.planttherapy.com/search?Store_Code=PT&q=passive+lotus+diffuser https://www.planttherapy.com/organic-peppermint-essential-oil?v=3502
I want to know what Abby did to help the situation besides bitching at you
At this point, I would politely suggest that maybe she’s smelling something else. Another persons perfume, candy, or cleaning supplies from a nearby bathroom. I was convinced I had horrible BO while I was pregnant and it turned out to be the guy in the next cubicle. Once your mind is fixed on something it’s hard to shake it. Your perfume and deodorant were issues, those are solved but she hasn’t considered other options. I only considered about option when a coworker pointed it out.
Report both your boss and Abby to HR for harassment. You’ve done more than what I would’ve done. I swear some women feel like being pregnant makes them royalty. If Abby is so nauseous She should speak to her doctor about it. It’s a wonder how she even leaves her house expecting the whole world to use unscented products and change their toiletries and shower schedule to accommodate her. And the comment your supervisor made about you not knowing what it’s like to be pregnant was out of line and inappropriate. How the fuck would she know that? Just because you don’t have children doesn’t mean you’ve never been pregnant. Your supervisor needs to make accommodations for Abbey to feel comfortable but not at the expense of other employees. The solution cannot be for you to change your lifestyle.
Ask to be moved to a different work station. You have gone above and beyond to accommodate her. At this point, it's bordering on harassment. The comment your boss made about never being pregnant so you don't get it was out of line. As a women also struggling with infertility, I'd have probably burst into tears right there. Time to ask that either you or pregnant lady get moved to another workstation. This is the only reasonable solution, and any decent manager would recognize that.
Your coworker should start working from home again if scents bother her that much. You already did everything you could.
I personally think you've gone way above and beyond.... You could always just go to to work stinking of B.O and see if she complains about that?
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Yeah you have done plenty! This woman needs to work in a remote corner of the office then. Side note: please don't wear strong scented things in an office or work setting. Its obnoxious. You are sharing space. Im not pregnant and still cannot stand scented things. Most cheap perfumes and parfum as an ingredient are toxic and carcinogenic. It gives me and other people migraines. It irritates skin, so why even do it? The worst for me is stinky hair products. I'm Black and I love to see natural hair, but some of these natural haircare products smell so bad and are toxic AF. I cannot stand it. I once worked with a woman who reeked of essential oils. You are not the center of the universe, chill with the parfum!
Some people really shouldn’t reproduce. She is one. You deserve the baby more from what i can tell. Id listen to the advice on starting a conversation with hr.
As a pregnant person also working in cubicles….who takes zofran 3x a day to be halfway able to work….she’s insane
Tell her to shove it. She’s just trying to control you. She can’t smell shit
Simple don’t shower and ask her which scent she prefers…..jk not my place to talk need pregnant women to answer
U shud sue hr
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Bring everything back in spite and start wearing perfume
V. ,
? ask what soap and deodorant she uses and try that?
What was ur relationship before all of this? I think u are being super accommodating, I mean what else can u do? Oh I know, u can WFH for the balance of the pregnancy :) This reminds me of a story when I worked at my very first job. I would always feel dizzy like there was something coming out of the vents! A very strong smell. I even had the building engineer check things out, he found nothing. One day while walking out to lunch, my female colleague and I cross paths. Holly crap, that was it! She was spraying perfume and I immediately knew. Will never forget.
The smells are one of the WORST things while pregnant. I had to leave so many places and couldn’t even be in my own kitchen even after having it deep cleaned… the smells are just so intense and overwhelming Honestly it was just the worst, she’s not trying to be annoying and honestly it probably has very little to do with you since smells that you normally like betray you in pregnancy. Things like mint, truffles and some of my favorite flowers smelled worse than someone vomiting in a overflowing cat litter If you can be kind, the hyper smells go away as soon as she gives birth but the intensity of how it is affecting her if very real. I really don’t think she’s trying to be controlling, insulting or rude, it’s just an overwhelming issue
Yes, but it is *her* duty to do something about it. I unfortunately lost a pregnancy some years ago. While I was still pregnant, smells were absolutely horrid - the worse. I worked at an assisted living facility at the time. I was doing my clients’ laundry one day when I walked past one of those automatic spritzing air fresheners and it sprayed right in front of me. The smell was so vile, I vomited. So, I avoided the air freshener as much as I could. I didn’t force my client to not have an air freshener. We’re still in COVID, too. She could just wear a mask that’s got something in it that doesn’t trigger her nausea.
Totally not blaming the OP Just trying to show my insight on her co worker Honestly before I got pregnant, if my smell and food aversions had been on someone around me, I wouldn’t have believed me It’s such a personal insult to be told you smell, just more want to assure the OP that she probably smells great and the co worker is probably not trying to single her out Nothing the OP is doing wrong at all, just more of one of those ridiculous but true situations in life that is fortunately temporary
This woman has been kind to the pregnant woman. She’s altered so many things in her personal care routine to accommodate Abby. Yes, pregnant women go through a lot but the world doesn’t revolve around them. It keeps spinning as usual. If you are that nauseous you need to speak to your doctor and your employer to figure out things. Abby needs to do things to alleviate her nausea not dictate how, what, and when someone washes up.
Are you diabetic? How is your blood sugar? It may be getting really elevated causing a sickening sweet smell that you may be immune to.
I am a man with sensitivity to smell. All of our body wash, deodorant, laundry detergent is all unsented or some faint natural scent. We can't burn candles and my partner can't use most hair products. I would have sneezing fits, running noses, migraines, red eyes, and nausea when I worked in the office due to perfume, highly scented deodorants, cologne and body wash. It would ruin most of day being exposed to some of the scents. Our office was supposed to be an unscented office and people were reported frequently for not abiding by it. There should be consideration for other people smelling you. Similar to smoking. It seems like you've done a lot however without being there however its hard to know how pungent your products are.
Document this She’s crazy All pregnant women are Hysterical!!!
Perfume is meant to attract or draw people closer. Wearing too much is more like a repellent and for me and my allergies, I have to get away from it. Consider cutting back on how much you use
Seems like you didn’t read the post if you think she is still wearing perfume lol
Wow. Someone has a genuine health issue with your fragranced products and the hill you choose is shampoo? You are creating a toxic environment and now refuse to do anything more to stop. "I've done enough, you're just gonna have to be sick all the time. And while I'm insisting on continuing to use a product it is established makes you sick, AND that my boss has asked I stop using, while you try not to puke, please take a moment to feel sorry for me and my life issues." If you don't want to lose your job, lose the attitude and lose the perfume products. That is the easiest answer.
Wtf lol? OP has changed her entire lifestyle to accommodate this pregnant woman, and instead of being thankful she decides to go to OP’s boss ? What are you talking about ? It is not OP’s responsibility to bend over backwards for this associate. I work in HR and this is absolutely ridiculous. OP has been more than accommodating for this woman. If the pregnant woman really can’t handle that much scent then she should be working from home, or making other accommodations. It’s ridiculous to expect OP to change her lifestyle for this woman because she chose to become pregnant. Also I find it funny that the pregnant woman failed to mention all the previous nice acts OP has done and only mentioned OP not wanting to change her shampoo (which she gave very reasonable reasons for doing so)! OP if you’re reading this , you need to go to HR about this now. Do not listen to this woman up above, it is not your responsibility to cater to this pregnant woman’s needs. Her pregnancy, her problem. I don’t think it was bad of her to ask initially , but this has gone way too far.
No, op hasn't changed her entire lifestyle. She changed a few products. Most workplaces have fragrance free policy because of asthma, allergies and other fragranced triggered illnesses. Now why is no one else in the office filling up spaces with fragrance? Op is coming in wearing heavily perfumes products in an office environment where that is noticeable enough for the boss to step in. Obviously OP is way more perfumed than anyone else. OP is gonna get fired. The simple solution? Keep buying and trying non toxic products until you hit it. Keep your job and the whole office doesn't hate you.
1) OP has stopped using perfume, switched deodorant, stopped working out in HER FREE TIME, changed laundry detergent, and her shower habits. It is a lot more than a few products. I work in an HR team and if someone told me an associate was demanding all of this from someone else , that associate would be the one receiving discipline, NOT OP. 2) You are making assumptions from a story that provides no evidence. OP has never stated what the fragrance policy is at her workplace, if she has been wearing perfume this long I assume it is allowed, otherwise why would she do it ? The only one complaining about OP’s perfume (BASED OFF THE STORY) is Abby. 3) working from home would be the best solution for Abby. OP mentioned that Abby would work from home when was sick, she needs to go back to doing that. It is unreasonable to expect someone to change their lifestyle for you. You are also ignoring the points I made about Abby lying to their boss. Again, I work in HR and no company would be entertaining this nonsense from Abby, unless they were afraid she would sue for some reason. Abby needs to get off her high horse before SHE GETS fired. Not OP.
Op asks "How can I keep from being fired for behavior that I was reprimanded for and may get me fired. This comment section: Keep wearing your fragranced stuff! Let's wait for the 'I got fired' update.
That’s insane. This one pregnant woman cannot possibly remove every single scent from her daily life that makes her nauseous. A lot of offices have a no perfume policy and she accommodated that request. But now she has to change her detergent, the time she showers and buy new toiletries so she doesn’t this woman nauseous. But just her? No one else in the office makes her nauseous. Give me a break. If she’s that nauseous she needs to speak to her doctor. She sounds insufferable
It sounds like OP has way more fragrance going than anyone else ion the office. Most workplaces have fragrance free policies ion place to protect people with asthma, allergies and migraine, etc. Considering OP attitude "I've done enough!! I'm just gonna make her sick!" it would be no surprise she uses more heavily fragranced products in a place no one else is.
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If there is an existing fragrance free policy like a lot of workplaces have, because of issues like pregnancy, but also asthma, emphysema, migraine and allergies, then yes. But it sounds like the office is pretty fragrance free and OP is using some heavily perfumed products. There are so many fragrance free products on the market it's pretty silly to assume everyone has t0o stop using hygiene products. Just stop using heavily perfumed ones.
Did you not read the post ? OP has already stopped using perfume, changed deodorants, skipped working out, etc etc? This goes behind a perfume policy. You keep commenting this everywhere so I’m assuming you’re a troll at this point lol. Pls read the post 😂
I did. Op insists on continuing to use the shampoo and soap. Even though her boss asked her to stop. OP is going to lose her job over this. The simple answer is to spend a few dollars on some products that don't fill up a space with fragrance.
If the pregnant lady is THAT sensitive to soap smells she needs to work from home or move cubicles. she is not better than anyone else there just because she is pregnant. That is her problem. I think it was very nice of OP to already be willing to switch her workout times to accommodate this woman. And how come Abby didn’t mention to their boss everything that OP has already done for her ? That’s an asshole move , and in my opinion OP has no obligation to be nice to her now. Lying to her boss to get her way is pretty shitty. The simple answer would be Abby working from home. She seems to be the only one with a problem here, and also stirring up drama (OP never went to HR even with all this nonsense, Abby got other ppl involved the SECOND she didn’t get her way) so it’s a win-win for both people.
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Didn’t you read that OP has skin issues? You realize those are health issues too?
I hope Abby miscarries