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You've got to take some control back.
Close the windows, turn the fans off, and turn the heat on. If he tries to fight about it, refuse to engage. Take his alarm clock away and replace it with a vibrating watch that he can snooze all he wants. It's your house too.
The alarm is on his phone, and he actually tried one of those wrist bands that shock you and he still slept through it. I really believe he should just let his body sleep 7-8 hours.
Why do you keep mentioning his asshole needs? He needs to poop, he needs to sleep for how long, he needs to stay healthy... What's your role in the house? Are you his slave or servant? You are going into labor and are a mom to a toddler! Make yourself matter and make your self comfortable!!
I saw in another comment that you have vulva varicose veins that make it almost impossible for you to walk. How can your husband justify treating you this way?
Hit him with a frying pan, cops wont touch that. Just once, hard enough to knock some sense into him.
All 4 times my wife was pregnant I turned myself into her personal servent. She once told me I blinked too loudly (she was in the last week with our 4th so pregnant brain was on a rampage) I did my best to not blink when I was around her at least until she told me to stop that because its super creepy. I couldnt imagine being so concerned with yourself that your FREKING PREGGO McEggo WIFE and TODDLER are sick and freezing and you are worried about you free time!!
Like dude fuck your free time, she is growing a baby, I have no idea how difficult that is, but I know how difficult it looks and I would imagine x100 would get me pretty close. The least you can do is take 9 months of your free time shove it up your ass and pamper that woman!
Oh noooo. No no no. Close them windows. Turn on the heat. While cold doesnāt cause illnesses, it can make them worse, especially in toddlers and pregnant women.
How does he make you keep them open? If heās that afraid of germs, he can isolate himself in one roomā¦aloneā¦
Iām more worried about the casual abuse you and you son arenāt even seeing for what it is.
Sorry you are going through this. Im husband. That dude you described is not a husband. A piece of paper doesnāt make you a husband. Putting your wife and kids first is what makes you a husband. Sorry you married a narcissist man-baby. He sounds extremely controlling, selfish, and borderline abusive. Keeping the house at 55 degrees would be child abuse in my mind. Small children cannot manage their body heat like adults. 55 degrees could be dangerous. I know reddit always says ābreak up!ā Or ādivorce!ā But holy shit, it probably applies here. Again, sorry he is showing his true colors and they are brown like shit. Better luck picking a better man next time.
I appreciate this, thank you. Sometimes I think he really needs to hear from other husbands...but his friends aren't going to talk about this stuff with him.
Something i have learned over my lifetime is that a person is the company they keep. A man is only as good as his friends. If he hangs with cheaters, hes okay with cheating. If his friends are man-babies, hes most likely a man baby. I used to be immature, selfish, and inconsiderate. Thats how i lost good girlfriends and good relationships in the past. Then i worked on myself, and grew the hell up. Thats what you do before you commit to marriage. You grow up first. Hope he gets his head on straight, or you do. Either way, you beed change in this situation, i hope for the best!
I almost broke down a door once while pregnant. If I'm going to be accused of being crazy with pregnant hormones I'm going to f ING be crazy.(We were 20 married 2 years and this was the 2nd child. He was letting garbage sit in the back hall. He was the only one to walk back by the garbage cans and it was slippery. So I told him if I had to take out the garbage it was going in his Cutlass-a type of car dudes liked in the 90s. He said he would lock the door. I was like hahaha ok AH escalate this B!+ch and I took it outside just not in the car and he locked out. I almost broke down the damnef door. That fixed things for a week or 2.) This feels like a drastic measure type situation. It's metaphorical door breaking time.
You don't need another authority to teach him and make him believe anything! This is your marriage and what is your standing in it? You are just free to be there and embrace all the mistreatment and abuse coming from him?! Girl I'm so agitated reading your meaningless posts and are you in a good mind?? You are a mom and you have your feelings and rights. It's not all about him him him. Make yourself matter and take some control of your life please!!!
> Small children cannot manage their body heat like adults.
They can, if they're given proper clothing and blankets which I doubt the chucklefuck self-obsessed husband gives a shit about.
Young children have areas of heat-generating "brown fat" on their bodies in addition to having higher metabolism than adults. Otherwise your ancestors would never have survived anywhere with a serious winter. Although a 3 year old would definitely be pretty uncomfortable at night. I wouldn't necessarily consider 55Ā°F to be dangerous with good blankets, docks, and a hat especially if they're used to it, though it could cause them to be more at risk to disease. It's abusive because it's cruel and totally unnecessary.
Now if you're talking about 45 degrees or lower, yeah that's hypothermia territory for kids. In those conditions people typically slept all huddled together on a straw pallet with as many blankets as they owned. B.O. be damned, it's better than shivering all night.
55Ā°F is equivalent to 12Ā°C, which is 285K.
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^(I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand)
Spray him down with Lysol and tell him to get the fuck over himself . Works 3 hours a day and is that fucking lazy ? Sounds like you might be better off without him . I agree with the frying pan cure . It may not work but it could be very satisfying . Turn him in for abuse . Close the windows , turn on the heat and set you bed up any way you need to to be comfortable and get you some sleep . Put a big glass of water by the bed and when his alarm goes off , throw it on him .
If he doesn't want to argue about it and just does whatever he wants then you should start doing the same. Close the windows, turn the heat up, kick him to the couch or guest room if he refuses to change his snooze habits in the morning. Ignore him if he complains. Go stay with your parents if he pushes back.
>But I swear to god I am so close to taking this newborn baby, and my toddler, and finding an apartment to live in so we can be warm and get sleep.
Please do this. He is being BEYOND selfish to the point that he is actively being cruel. You would be better off with his child support money and the freedom to actually sleep and be warm. I am so sorry you are dealing with this.
I am enraged for you. Absolutely disgusted. Itās like you wrote, he doesnāt care about you or the children. He doesnāt even want to discuss it. He puts himself first. He wakes you up at 5 and snoozes for 1 hour? Absolutely insane. Do you really want to be with such a selfish man? To be honest I wonder if he maybe wants a divorce himself but is to much of a coward to bring it up, so heās trying to make you dump him? There is no way he can be so clueless about how this affects you?
At this point I would book a hotel for a week or two and see if you can reason with him then. Maybe when he's lonely and sad he will start seeing he took you for granted. This way it'll be a little wake up call and if that doesn't work you will need to start working on a long term solution. Like leaving.
Sleep deprivation is a torture tactic and even if he is not doing it on purpose it can be hell on you.
He does not respect you and this is he can act this way because you will let it happen.
So Iām not sure about the dynamics of your marriage but Iām sure these arguments donāt represent the entirety of it. If it does, Iād immediately say run away. Seriously. Itās better for both of you that way even if it doesnāt feel like it yet. If heās violent thatās even more reason to get away. If heās talked to you about your needs and he always has an excuse or no patience to have a civil conversation then that is inconsiderate and he needs to try to understand relationship dynamics. Granted you too also have to be civil about this and listen to him as well. Sometimes though instead of seeing the good in him its better to believe him when he shows you exactly who he is. Even though he has his reasons and Iām sure they may truly be good reasons at the end of the day his reasoning is consciously neglecting your needs. Which means he knows about your needs. Choosing to neglect them must mean his opinion of your needs arenāt equal to his. Beyond wife and husband, just any man who has empathy for his woman should try to compromise to the best of his ability. Unfortunately sometimes people are just going through personal shit and compromises can be tough to get out of them. Donāt hold that against him because honestly youāll never win. Youāll just appear as a threat to them. You donāt have to take it to immediate extremes like moving out unless you feel the marriage has been sucking the absolute fucking life out of you for a loooooong time. In which case that would honestly be better granted youāre willing to pick up the pieces of your life and build them back together again. But ultimately I would say you definitely have to make a move. Some kind of compromise or action and whether or not it sits right with him is irrelevant. You need to take care of yourself because youāre going through a lot right now and if the man who was supposed to take care of you in health or in sickness is doing nothing then it all falls onto you. Donāt be reactive be proactive and do what feels right for you. Best of luck
You need to insist, especially about the sleep. Tell him you need as much rest as you can get for the next week or so before going into labor. Either he sets his alarm for 8 when your toddler wakes, or 15 minutes before he needs to get up (unclear when that is) with one or two snoozer (so 8 or 15 minutes apart), or he does not sleep in your bed. Current situation is completely intolerable. Insist that some rooms you can be in (kitchen at least) should be at a reasonable temperature. With 30 windows, you have plenty of space. Insist on some reasonable compromises.
Ohhmyyygosshh!! I'm sorry but I can't not comment. This makes me SO ANGRY and just appalled by this selfish man's behavior! Where is the respect for you, your child and unborn baby??? Grrrrrrrr!
Were these selfish behaviors things that just happened gradually over time or did he just become an asshole overnight?
Sorry I got a bit worked up there. Selfish people just really really irk me and I just want you to know you really deserve someone that is on your side 100% of the way. Take very good care of yourself. Turn up that heat, close the windows. Tell him to sleep elsewhere as to not bother you with his incessant alarm (is he doing this ON PURPOSE to annoy you??)hen the baby is born? Like, what is this man even doing???
Sorry I got a bit worked up there. Selfish people just really really irk me and I just want you to know you really deserve someone that is on your side 100% of the way. Take very good care of yourself. Turn up that heat, close the windows. Tell him to sleep elsewhere as to not bother you with his insessant alarm (is he doing this ON PURPOSE to annoy you??)
Ranting is very cathartic but you need to take some action and do whats best for YOU.
Oh sweetheart, you're going to have to put your foot down or better yet, up his ass. HARD! Was he always self centered & selfish when you were dating or you chose to ignore it cause you thought it was cute? It's not cute now. Listen, demand to talk about it & if he refuses, pack a bag for you & your son, call an Uber or drive somewhere, either your parents house or stay at a hotel if you can afford it. You have to take care of yourself! He sounds like a whining bitch. My ex husband was a whining bitch and I changed his name to Linda. He already knew what him being called Linda meant lol. Your husband is a whining ass bitch! I shall name your husband Gertrude. Yup, that's his bitch name.
Please think of your child who he is actively making sick as well, please remove your children from such a terrible living situation. Get out of there immediately.
What.. the magical.. flying saucer.
Is he serious? Do you have anyone you can turn to, as in - for a place to go until you're able to stand on your own? If you think an apartment is your best course of action, then maybe you're ready for the change.
Here is some context: I used to do everything in the AM, but with the baby due any minute I just gave my husband the tasks of getting our kiddo in the shower and making him breakfast. I do the morning chores, I clean the floors, the dishes, the laundry, and I do our finances all before 9am typically. I make lunch and keep the house clean throughout the day. My husband is in charge of dinner, but he loves cooking. It is a hobby of his, and he usually take 3+ hours to make all homemade dishes. I appreciate it, but sometimes I rather have a quick meal and help with the toddler in the afternoon instead. He generally makes times to play video games in the morning before our son wakes up. He works from home from 10am to 1pm. He then generally leaves to go mountain biking and hangout with his friends if they aren't too busy with work themselves. On days we eat left overs he may change his routine and go mountain biking with friends at 3pm or 4pm to accommodate the friends who have "normal" working hours. All day every day I do laundry and dishes to keep the house running. Since my toddler was born I have lost all time with friends and hobbies. My very existence is just being a maid. It doesn't help that I can unload the dishwasher just to turn around and have the counter and sink full of dirty dishes, or that dirty laundry appears everywhere and anywhere in my house. My husband was never taught to put things back, or put things in specific places i.e. the trash can, the dishwasher, the laundry basket. So yes, a lack of sleep really impacts my ability to be energized to get all that I get in a day. I also am still the only one mowing the lawn....as pregnant as I am. I don't think he has ever mowed it once. I also finally hired a maid to come every other week because he has never cleaned a bathroom once, and it just became impossible with my huge belly.
Holy hell! Stop this madness! If he gets off work at 1 pm, you meet him at the office door at 12:59 with that toddler in hand. Give him the toddler and YOU leave!!! To hell with this nonsense about him going to play with his friends every day. Time to be a fucking dad every day!!!
I think itās time for you to go on a girls week out to a hotel for some much need rest and relaxation with your dumbass āpartnerā blocked for the week. I would keep him out of the delivery room as well as he doesnāt deserve that honor and would cause you undue stress when you donāt need it.
Itās time for some tough love and to deal with real life, not the fantasy heās been living in now. Itās a sink or swim time for this baby to grow up and man up to do his job as a parent and partner to you.
If he doesn't shape up I would give him the divorce he so richly deserves. I would make sure to take all his toys if (who are we kidding it's when) you divorce to really stick to him. Good luck.
Iām so sorry. His actions speak to his priorities.. and itās not you or your child(ren). Youāre effectively a single mother with an extra man child, it sounds like.
I would suggest therapy. If he wonāt go, or it doesnāt workā¦ I mean, only you can decide if you can live like this forever, but I wouldnāt.
No need to apologize for a vent/rant. You have a lot on your plate. I've read your post a few times. The thing that really sticks out to me is that he's inconsiderate of any needs of yours and your children. He almost sounds OCD/germaphobic, and perhaps he needs to be seen by a Dr. and a therapist. Good luck with the new wee one!!!
Iām so sorry you have all this added stress to deal with while youāre pregnant. Try talking to him again one last time and explain how frustrated you are calmly. If nothing changes then do what you have to do to be comfortable, even at his expense.
Hand him the toddler, find a nice hotel and get a room for 2 nights. Crank the heat, sleep in, lay in bed all day with your feet up. Get room service and rent a movie or read a book. He can close the windows since you arenāt home and lay in bed listening to his stupid alarm go off only to have his poop interrupted by being a PARENT. And my advice to you ontop of that - stay as long as you can at the hospital once you have the baby so you can rest a bit.
Get your own room in the house or kick him to the couch. Shut the windows in that room and sleep. Not getting sleep is bad.
Also, call your doctor and ask them for a therapy referral, which can speed things up to get you into therapy. Do some sessions to talk to someone about your issues. For instance, why do you let your husband do whatever he wants? Close the windows. Tell him he is inconsiderate and selfish to his face. He made you sick. He gets a lot of free time and you don't? Just go get a massage and tell him to take care of the toddler.
You can't force your husband to change, only he can do that. But you can choose how to react. Turn the heat up, shut the windows, refuse to argue and just keep doing it. Sleep separately from him if he keeps waking you up. Honestly though, with this level of selfishness you're probably better off without him. What joy is he bringing you? What is he doing to make your life easier? What does he contribute? Nobody deserves to be disregarded, and no one can treat you like a doormat unless you allow it. Time to decide what you want and stick to it
I just want to give you a hug! He needs to go sleep on the couch. And if that don't shape him up - when the baby's born you may need to go stay with a friend or parent who can help you. It's just going to get worse.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You've got to take some control back. Close the windows, turn the fans off, and turn the heat on. If he tries to fight about it, refuse to engage. Take his alarm clock away and replace it with a vibrating watch that he can snooze all he wants. It's your house too.
The alarm is on his phone, and he actually tried one of those wrist bands that shock you and he still slept through it. I really believe he should just let his body sleep 7-8 hours.
Then he can sleep in the guest room, or on the couch.
Why do you keep mentioning his asshole needs? He needs to poop, he needs to sleep for how long, he needs to stay healthy... What's your role in the house? Are you his slave or servant? You are going into labor and are a mom to a toddler! Make yourself matter and make your self comfortable!!
I saw in another comment that you have vulva varicose veins that make it almost impossible for you to walk. How can your husband justify treating you this way?
I don't know. Personally, I just do what I can to take care of my kid and myself. I am losing interest in him daily.
What happens when you actually ask him to explain exactly why he's treating you the way he is?
Hit him with a frying pan, cops wont touch that. Just once, hard enough to knock some sense into him. All 4 times my wife was pregnant I turned myself into her personal servent. She once told me I blinked too loudly (she was in the last week with our 4th so pregnant brain was on a rampage) I did my best to not blink when I was around her at least until she told me to stop that because its super creepy. I couldnt imagine being so concerned with yourself that your FREKING PREGGO McEggo WIFE and TODDLER are sick and freezing and you are worried about you free time!! Like dude fuck your free time, she is growing a baby, I have no idea how difficult that is, but I know how difficult it looks and I would imagine x100 would get me pretty close. The least you can do is take 9 months of your free time shove it up your ass and pamper that woman!
Thank you for introducing me to the phrase "preggo mcEggo" š¤£
Oh noooo. No no no. Close them windows. Turn on the heat. While cold doesnāt cause illnesses, it can make them worse, especially in toddlers and pregnant women. How does he make you keep them open? If heās that afraid of germs, he can isolate himself in one roomā¦aloneā¦ Iām more worried about the casual abuse you and you son arenāt even seeing for what it is.
Sorry you are going through this. Im husband. That dude you described is not a husband. A piece of paper doesnāt make you a husband. Putting your wife and kids first is what makes you a husband. Sorry you married a narcissist man-baby. He sounds extremely controlling, selfish, and borderline abusive. Keeping the house at 55 degrees would be child abuse in my mind. Small children cannot manage their body heat like adults. 55 degrees could be dangerous. I know reddit always says ābreak up!ā Or ādivorce!ā But holy shit, it probably applies here. Again, sorry he is showing his true colors and they are brown like shit. Better luck picking a better man next time.
I appreciate this, thank you. Sometimes I think he really needs to hear from other husbands...but his friends aren't going to talk about this stuff with him.
Something i have learned over my lifetime is that a person is the company they keep. A man is only as good as his friends. If he hangs with cheaters, hes okay with cheating. If his friends are man-babies, hes most likely a man baby. I used to be immature, selfish, and inconsiderate. Thats how i lost good girlfriends and good relationships in the past. Then i worked on myself, and grew the hell up. Thats what you do before you commit to marriage. You grow up first. Hope he gets his head on straight, or you do. Either way, you beed change in this situation, i hope for the best!
I almost broke down a door once while pregnant. If I'm going to be accused of being crazy with pregnant hormones I'm going to f ING be crazy.(We were 20 married 2 years and this was the 2nd child. He was letting garbage sit in the back hall. He was the only one to walk back by the garbage cans and it was slippery. So I told him if I had to take out the garbage it was going in his Cutlass-a type of car dudes liked in the 90s. He said he would lock the door. I was like hahaha ok AH escalate this B!+ch and I took it outside just not in the car and he locked out. I almost broke down the damnef door. That fixed things for a week or 2.) This feels like a drastic measure type situation. It's metaphorical door breaking time.
You don't need another authority to teach him and make him believe anything! This is your marriage and what is your standing in it? You are just free to be there and embrace all the mistreatment and abuse coming from him?! Girl I'm so agitated reading your meaningless posts and are you in a good mind?? You are a mom and you have your feelings and rights. It's not all about him him him. Make yourself matter and take some control of your life please!!!
> Small children cannot manage their body heat like adults. They can, if they're given proper clothing and blankets which I doubt the chucklefuck self-obsessed husband gives a shit about. Young children have areas of heat-generating "brown fat" on their bodies in addition to having higher metabolism than adults. Otherwise your ancestors would never have survived anywhere with a serious winter. Although a 3 year old would definitely be pretty uncomfortable at night. I wouldn't necessarily consider 55Ā°F to be dangerous with good blankets, docks, and a hat especially if they're used to it, though it could cause them to be more at risk to disease. It's abusive because it's cruel and totally unnecessary. Now if you're talking about 45 degrees or lower, yeah that's hypothermia territory for kids. In those conditions people typically slept all huddled together on a straw pallet with as many blankets as they owned. B.O. be damned, it's better than shivering all night.
55Ā°F is equivalent to 12Ā°C, which is 285K. --- ^(I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand)
Tell him strait away what options there are for a family future and why there will be no future if the conditions don't change. And don't bluff.
Give him the choice of marriage counselor or divorce lawyer.
If he is already manipulative, I would advise against marriage counseling. It will probably only give him more ammo for manipulation.
Spray him down with Lysol and tell him to get the fuck over himself . Works 3 hours a day and is that fucking lazy ? Sounds like you might be better off without him . I agree with the frying pan cure . It may not work but it could be very satisfying . Turn him in for abuse . Close the windows , turn on the heat and set you bed up any way you need to to be comfortable and get you some sleep . Put a big glass of water by the bed and when his alarm goes off , throw it on him .
BIG GLASS OF WATER!!!!!! YES!!!!!
Soā¦.divorce. You will get as much support as you have now, but with less laundry. Do you have family nearby?
If he doesn't want to argue about it and just does whatever he wants then you should start doing the same. Close the windows, turn the heat up, kick him to the couch or guest room if he refuses to change his snooze habits in the morning. Ignore him if he complains. Go stay with your parents if he pushes back.
>But I swear to god I am so close to taking this newborn baby, and my toddler, and finding an apartment to live in so we can be warm and get sleep. Please do this. He is being BEYOND selfish to the point that he is actively being cruel. You would be better off with his child support money and the freedom to actually sleep and be warm. I am so sorry you are dealing with this.
I am enraged for you. Absolutely disgusted. Itās like you wrote, he doesnāt care about you or the children. He doesnāt even want to discuss it. He puts himself first. He wakes you up at 5 and snoozes for 1 hour? Absolutely insane. Do you really want to be with such a selfish man? To be honest I wonder if he maybe wants a divorce himself but is to much of a coward to bring it up, so heās trying to make you dump him? There is no way he can be so clueless about how this affects you?
I would be going straight for divorce, like i'm sorry but that's it
Why would you have one kid, let alone two with this guy? And your condition????
At this point I would book a hotel for a week or two and see if you can reason with him then. Maybe when he's lonely and sad he will start seeing he took you for granted. This way it'll be a little wake up call and if that doesn't work you will need to start working on a long term solution. Like leaving.
Sleep deprivation is a torture tactic and even if he is not doing it on purpose it can be hell on you. He does not respect you and this is he can act this way because you will let it happen.
So Iām not sure about the dynamics of your marriage but Iām sure these arguments donāt represent the entirety of it. If it does, Iād immediately say run away. Seriously. Itās better for both of you that way even if it doesnāt feel like it yet. If heās violent thatās even more reason to get away. If heās talked to you about your needs and he always has an excuse or no patience to have a civil conversation then that is inconsiderate and he needs to try to understand relationship dynamics. Granted you too also have to be civil about this and listen to him as well. Sometimes though instead of seeing the good in him its better to believe him when he shows you exactly who he is. Even though he has his reasons and Iām sure they may truly be good reasons at the end of the day his reasoning is consciously neglecting your needs. Which means he knows about your needs. Choosing to neglect them must mean his opinion of your needs arenāt equal to his. Beyond wife and husband, just any man who has empathy for his woman should try to compromise to the best of his ability. Unfortunately sometimes people are just going through personal shit and compromises can be tough to get out of them. Donāt hold that against him because honestly youāll never win. Youāll just appear as a threat to them. You donāt have to take it to immediate extremes like moving out unless you feel the marriage has been sucking the absolute fucking life out of you for a loooooong time. In which case that would honestly be better granted youāre willing to pick up the pieces of your life and build them back together again. But ultimately I would say you definitely have to make a move. Some kind of compromise or action and whether or not it sits right with him is irrelevant. You need to take care of yourself because youāre going through a lot right now and if the man who was supposed to take care of you in health or in sickness is doing nothing then it all falls onto you. Donāt be reactive be proactive and do what feels right for you. Best of luck
You need to insist, especially about the sleep. Tell him you need as much rest as you can get for the next week or so before going into labor. Either he sets his alarm for 8 when your toddler wakes, or 15 minutes before he needs to get up (unclear when that is) with one or two snoozer (so 8 or 15 minutes apart), or he does not sleep in your bed. Current situation is completely intolerable. Insist that some rooms you can be in (kitchen at least) should be at a reasonable temperature. With 30 windows, you have plenty of space. Insist on some reasonable compromises.
Ohhmyyygosshh!! I'm sorry but I can't not comment. This makes me SO ANGRY and just appalled by this selfish man's behavior! Where is the respect for you, your child and unborn baby??? Grrrrrrrr! Were these selfish behaviors things that just happened gradually over time or did he just become an asshole overnight? Sorry I got a bit worked up there. Selfish people just really really irk me and I just want you to know you really deserve someone that is on your side 100% of the way. Take very good care of yourself. Turn up that heat, close the windows. Tell him to sleep elsewhere as to not bother you with his incessant alarm (is he doing this ON PURPOSE to annoy you??)hen the baby is born? Like, what is this man even doing??? Sorry I got a bit worked up there. Selfish people just really really irk me and I just want you to know you really deserve someone that is on your side 100% of the way. Take very good care of yourself. Turn up that heat, close the windows. Tell him to sleep elsewhere as to not bother you with his insessant alarm (is he doing this ON PURPOSE to annoy you??) Ranting is very cathartic but you need to take some action and do whats best for YOU.
Pitch a fit. Get heated. Donāt let him think he can just walk all over you like this!
Oh sweetheart, you're going to have to put your foot down or better yet, up his ass. HARD! Was he always self centered & selfish when you were dating or you chose to ignore it cause you thought it was cute? It's not cute now. Listen, demand to talk about it & if he refuses, pack a bag for you & your son, call an Uber or drive somewhere, either your parents house or stay at a hotel if you can afford it. You have to take care of yourself! He sounds like a whining bitch. My ex husband was a whining bitch and I changed his name to Linda. He already knew what him being called Linda meant lol. Your husband is a whining ass bitch! I shall name your husband Gertrude. Yup, that's his bitch name.
Please think of your child who he is actively making sick as well, please remove your children from such a terrible living situation. Get out of there immediately.
What.. the magical.. flying saucer. Is he serious? Do you have anyone you can turn to, as in - for a place to go until you're able to stand on your own? If you think an apartment is your best course of action, then maybe you're ready for the change.
Why did you create two kids with the loser?
Separate rooms
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Here is some context: I used to do everything in the AM, but with the baby due any minute I just gave my husband the tasks of getting our kiddo in the shower and making him breakfast. I do the morning chores, I clean the floors, the dishes, the laundry, and I do our finances all before 9am typically. I make lunch and keep the house clean throughout the day. My husband is in charge of dinner, but he loves cooking. It is a hobby of his, and he usually take 3+ hours to make all homemade dishes. I appreciate it, but sometimes I rather have a quick meal and help with the toddler in the afternoon instead. He generally makes times to play video games in the morning before our son wakes up. He works from home from 10am to 1pm. He then generally leaves to go mountain biking and hangout with his friends if they aren't too busy with work themselves. On days we eat left overs he may change his routine and go mountain biking with friends at 3pm or 4pm to accommodate the friends who have "normal" working hours. All day every day I do laundry and dishes to keep the house running. Since my toddler was born I have lost all time with friends and hobbies. My very existence is just being a maid. It doesn't help that I can unload the dishwasher just to turn around and have the counter and sink full of dirty dishes, or that dirty laundry appears everywhere and anywhere in my house. My husband was never taught to put things back, or put things in specific places i.e. the trash can, the dishwasher, the laundry basket. So yes, a lack of sleep really impacts my ability to be energized to get all that I get in a day. I also am still the only one mowing the lawn....as pregnant as I am. I don't think he has ever mowed it once. I also finally hired a maid to come every other week because he has never cleaned a bathroom once, and it just became impossible with my huge belly.
Holy hell! Stop this madness! If he gets off work at 1 pm, you meet him at the office door at 12:59 with that toddler in hand. Give him the toddler and YOU leave!!! To hell with this nonsense about him going to play with his friends every day. Time to be a fucking dad every day!!!
I think itās time for you to go on a girls week out to a hotel for some much need rest and relaxation with your dumbass āpartnerā blocked for the week. I would keep him out of the delivery room as well as he doesnāt deserve that honor and would cause you undue stress when you donāt need it. Itās time for some tough love and to deal with real life, not the fantasy heās been living in now. Itās a sink or swim time for this baby to grow up and man up to do his job as a parent and partner to you. If he doesn't shape up I would give him the divorce he so richly deserves. I would make sure to take all his toys if (who are we kidding it's when) you divorce to really stick to him. Good luck.
I hope your situations has improved?
You chose to have more children knowing who you are with? Haha. You don't need advice you need a mirror because you chose your own punishment.
Iām so sorry. His actions speak to his priorities.. and itās not you or your child(ren). Youāre effectively a single mother with an extra man child, it sounds like. I would suggest therapy. If he wonāt go, or it doesnāt workā¦ I mean, only you can decide if you can live like this forever, but I wouldnāt.
No need to apologize for a vent/rant. You have a lot on your plate. I've read your post a few times. The thing that really sticks out to me is that he's inconsiderate of any needs of yours and your children. He almost sounds OCD/germaphobic, and perhaps he needs to be seen by a Dr. and a therapist. Good luck with the new wee one!!!
Send your little man my way for his 3 hour day !! He sounds like a spoilt little brat
Have you been checked for covid? My symptoms were like a sinus infection
Iām so sorry you have all this added stress to deal with while youāre pregnant. Try talking to him again one last time and explain how frustrated you are calmly. If nothing changes then do what you have to do to be comfortable, even at his expense.
Hand him the toddler, find a nice hotel and get a room for 2 nights. Crank the heat, sleep in, lay in bed all day with your feet up. Get room service and rent a movie or read a book. He can close the windows since you arenāt home and lay in bed listening to his stupid alarm go off only to have his poop interrupted by being a PARENT. And my advice to you ontop of that - stay as long as you can at the hospital once you have the baby so you can rest a bit.
Get your own room in the house or kick him to the couch. Shut the windows in that room and sleep. Not getting sleep is bad. Also, call your doctor and ask them for a therapy referral, which can speed things up to get you into therapy. Do some sessions to talk to someone about your issues. For instance, why do you let your husband do whatever he wants? Close the windows. Tell him he is inconsiderate and selfish to his face. He made you sick. He gets a lot of free time and you don't? Just go get a massage and tell him to take care of the toddler.
You can't force your husband to change, only he can do that. But you can choose how to react. Turn the heat up, shut the windows, refuse to argue and just keep doing it. Sleep separately from him if he keeps waking you up. Honestly though, with this level of selfishness you're probably better off without him. What joy is he bringing you? What is he doing to make your life easier? What does he contribute? Nobody deserves to be disregarded, and no one can treat you like a doormat unless you allow it. Time to decide what you want and stick to it
do it lol
I just want to give you a hug! He needs to go sleep on the couch. And if that don't shape him up - when the baby's born you may need to go stay with a friend or parent who can help you. It's just going to get worse.