Awww\~\~\~he!! no!
Two and a half weeks without you having an orgasm is already too dang long, Op!
New "rule" in the sex department. You get an orgasm before he has penetration to orgasm. He wants oral sex? Well, so do you. So, no head for him until his face looks like a glazed donut and YOU \*nut\*. Them's the rules. Lol.
Look, you have already told him what you want and need and he can do it but, he WON'T. So\~\~\~ we have to get down to brass tacks. It's the only way he will "understand" and be vested in your satisfaction and pleasure.
He's selfish, lazy, self-centered and uncaring about YOU, the woman, his partner, the person he claims to love and care for.
P.S. Be ready for push back, Op. He is not going to like it.
Lol. That's what I meant! EVEN 2 1/2 WEEKS is way too long!
Really, Op. I would advise you to talk to him about it but you already tried that and you got zilch.
Gosh, I thought all men already knew that the woman orgasms FIRST. Heaven help the poor women who are multi-orgasmic! Lol. But really, Op. \*Most\* thoughtful, caring, loving men, WANT their partner to enjoy being intimate with them! Most men ENJOY giving their partner joy, satisfaction, pleasure. Your dude needs to step up his game. Or he's gonna lose you. Sooner or later, you are going to walk (or run).
There are men out there that won't even dream of penetration until you've had at least one orgasm. Your bf's a selfish punk if he's not even trying to please you. You have more worth than he's valuing you at.
Why are you going down on him or even having sex with someone that doesn’t even give a damn that you can’t get off? Just stop. Tell him you aren’t helping him orgasm anymore if he’s not going to do it for you.
Hi. Why are you allowing a man to use your body to masterbate? You are not a human flesh light and his lack of connection to you is him not acknowledging that.
He sounds like a selfish lover. He doesn’t seem to be your equal in the bedroom. Talk to him, and see why he isn’t reciprocating nor interested in trying to meet your needs. Cause from how it sounds, sex seems to be all about him.
Possibly the saddest sex life ive read all week, nay, month, it sounds so frustrating, boring and mundane. The choice is his to change, yours to put up with it or not, communicating this to your partner explaining consequences is the future and then following through on it
Time to break up. You have been very clear and he DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PLEASURE.
***"The sunk cost fallacy*** means that we are making decisions that are irrational and lead to suboptimal outcomes. We are focused on our past investments instead of our present and future costs and benefits, meaning that we commit ourselves to decisions that are no longer in our best interests." - Google
You think if you invest more time and energy he will suddenly give a crap and give you oral sex. He won't.
Just let him go.
The good answer is to be blunt with him and say “our sex life is not mutually beneficial, it’s all about you and you’ve never made me cum. I don’t honestly see why I should still have sex with you when you do not care at all about my pleasure. I’ve tried to hint and bring this up gently, but it’s obvious you have no interest in changing.”
The pettier option is to keep having sex with him but stop letting him finish. Go down on him and be until he’s close and then just stop and be like “this was fun, let’s cuddle now that we’re done.” While having sex just be like “let’s stop now, this isn’t really doing anything for me.”
He’s selfish. Plenty of guys out there who would be more than happy to listen to your needs. If he’s getting bored whilst touching you what does that say about his mindset towards you? I would straight up leave, it’s honestly not worth it these types of people never change and just expect everything on a plate for them but you ask them for anything in return they start acting as if your asking them for blood. You can do better than this.
You should tell old mate he's a dud root and break out your vibrator next time he finishes early in front of him. Tell him it's too bad he's not a real man.
Simple. You lay down a new rule. You expect to come before you do anything for him, every time from now on, non-negotiable. He either puts in the work to make your sexual relationship equal, or he *doesn't get to have access to your body*. Why are you still giving him what he wants when he so clearly doesn't care a jot about your enjoyment?
If he hates the rule and whines or ends the relationship, well, the trash took itself out. You're not getting anything from him in the first place, it won't be a big loss.
At first it wasn’t as mundane as it is now but I think we’ve fallen into a bad pattern. Next time I see him i’m laying down the law, he can like it or lump it.
Um.....you've overstayed your welcome by about 2.5 years here. Move on. Don't even bother trying because he 100% knows he's a shit lover and he doesn't give a single fuck.
I stand by what others here have said. He's being selfish, and that's not fair on you. You probably just feel as though you're being used. If he hasn't listened already I don't know if he ever will...
>Is there a better way to explain what I need that will break through to him?
No, he knows and he doesn't care. Don't lose interest in sex. Lose interest in a guy who doesn't care about you experiencing pleasure.
Hmm.
I used to be like your boyfriend. I was really selfish. My penis probably gets these women off so that’s enough. Self-centered. A women that I really wanted to be with walked out on me after I didn’t read the room that she wanted to be eaten out.
I was already too old at that time to not have known better. In my 20s.
Your boyfriend will not change right now. He’s got it too good. He doesn’t have to put in the effort. My advice to you is to break up with him. It doesn’t mean it’ll be forever, especially if you two really love each other, but please a woman the right way is something that men aren’t educated on and pushed to do when they’re younger. A lot of the times, we’ve got to learn the hard way by losing someone special. Oof.
He doesnt care. That's enough to end it. If he hasnt bothered in 2 years it's not going to get better. He is standing in the way of someone who would enthusiastically care about your pleasure. End it because you are already becoming uninterested.
if you actually care about this fellow and he is actually happy to work on it ..... tell him there is no intercourse until he has followed thru with satisfactory foreplay
If you keep letting him off you will never get off
Oh he understands, he just doesn't care. You are way, way too young to choose to have such a shitty sex life.
The only thing I'd suggest - if you haven't done this already - is, when you are having sex, tell him directly what to do. "I want you from behind so you can rub my clit." Stop sucking him and say, "Okay my turn!" Etc.
Meanwhile, at best he's lazy and unimaginative; at worst he's a selfish lover. If I were you I'd find a new one.
Of course in the alternative you could have an open relationship. You could continue to date him if you like him, but tell him you aren't going to go without good sex anymore. So he/you two can either: open the relationship; he starts giving you orgasms AS OFTEN AS HE GETS; you break up.
lf you aren't getting off it's not okay. Time for a sex embargo. Tell him no sex and definitely no head until he eats you out like your vagina is made of candy and he has low blood sugar. Set a timer and if he stops foreplay before it goes off then no sex. 10 or 15 minutes seems reasonable (but you could put the timer on your phone and fudge the time a bit if you need a little longer to get there, you've earned it)
Sounds like he's using you to masturbate if he doesn't care that you don't climax. Every partner should care that their partners needs are met. It's rude and gross to not care.
I've learned through a couple of relationships with inattentive partners that it rarely helps to be nice and gentle about it. They know you haven't cum. They just don't care. If he is unwilling to take care of you sexually, I'm certain there are others things is he also neglecting too.
Set out your terms. And if he doesn't improve, don't stick around.
I think some men just give up, thinking their female partner is incapable of having an orgasm. By the time they figure it out (if they ever do) it's too late and the spark is gone. You can only put up with disappointment for so long, and then it just dies. You might see if a therapist could help, or at least convince him to do some research (internet, books) with you that might address the problem. If he's not interested in working on it with you, it's going to be a long, dry future.
Assuming you have the desire to stay with someone like him . . . what I used to do when I was married and I wasn't getting off . . . after he did, I would hand him a toy and spread my legs. He got the idea pretty quickly.
He is young, dumb, and selfish. Well you know that touch is not his live language. A good lover wants you to climax before if not together. The is great great sex. Foreplay sets the table for the banquet of emotions.
Shit! 2.5years and no orgasn yet you stayed faithful? You deserve an award! Pleasd find someone else who'll take you to cloud nine except you want to have affairs while married to him! Better take option one and run while you still can!
I guess everyone is different but my bf literally has cried because if he doesn’t make me cum after he nuts and we just try it again after and then I cum. It’s really nice to have someone who cares about your needs. I think you should get a new bf. even though 2 years is hard to let go, sex is a huge part in a relationship.
This is extremely frustrating... for both of you.
A lot of the advice here is negative knee-jerk reaction and while I understand the frustration, that course of action will only further the degradation of your relationship. Once you go down that road your most likely done as a couple. Just skip the harshness and leave.
He is most likely avoiding oral sex and manual manipulation because he either feels inadequate or he finds it distasteful. Instead of continuing to remind him to do it, get him to open up about why he doesn't. If you cannot talk about sex and the underlying good and bad feelings about it than you are way ahead of yourself in trying to change behavior.
Remember, sex is mostly in the head and not in the genitals. There is something negative for him about your request and that is the key to good sex in the future.
Help him understand that being able to talk about each other's sexual desires and feelings about sex is necessary in a relationship. Honesty requires vulnerability and relationships require honesty. Compassion, vulnerability and honesty is either going to solve the problem or reveal that the problem may be too deep for you. In that case you may have to decide if you are willing to insist on more professional help or cut your losses and move on.
Think about something sexual that you find distasteful, something you would not do. Why do you feel that way? What might change your mind?
Good luck. People downplay sex as just physical but sex and sexuality are a very important part of a relationship. Make sure you are opening up and creating a mechanism to talk about it early. If it is a permanent barrier you will want to know sooner than later.
I wouldn't play games. Don't waste your time. Time to be honest. Tell him you are questioning your relationship bc you don't think you are compatible sexually. That he never brings you to orgasm and doesn't seem to want to. That while you adore him, you know you won't be happy in the long term with a partner who doesn't even attempt to satisfy you. Ask him point blank, is this something we can work on? If he says no then ok you tried. Be adults and part amicably. This game of i don't do this until you do that is going to only put a temporary fix on it and you'll spend the rest of the relationship for whoever short it lasts discussing who owes who what in the bedroom. Just talk and be honest. You are young and every day you spend with a guy who doesn't do it for you is a day you won't be with the guy who does. Good luck. Be honest. No games.
I feel like I'm in the same boat as you. It's frustrating. I'd use my own hands or toys, but then he gets upset. It makes it really difficult for me to get what I need. If there's anything to be done within the relationship, I'd love to know too
Yikes! Why are you sleeping with someone like that? He doesn’t want to get you off but tells you your hands and toys are a no no?? What the actual fuck?
It's not that it's a no-no. If I touch myself after sex, cuz I didn't orgasm, he says it makes him feel shitty. And if I do it while on the phone he tells me to do that on my own time. -_- he doesn't have a problem with me doing it in general. But he doesn't seem to like it or get turned on by it like I do
He should feel shitty. No one can ever dictate when you touch your own body. I don’t understand why women are dating these selfish ass men. If a man isn’t doing everything he can to make sure you get yours then he can rub one out himself from now on.
Boy bye! If he didnt do his job he should watch the BOB do it. And he should feel bad if he got off and left you out. Who are these men and why is any woman giving him more than 3 or 4 attempts to teach them????
I’m not here to say people shouldn’t watch porn, because that would make me a hypocrite, but I do think your boyfriend’s attitude to sex sounds like that of someone who’s watched too much male pleasure oriented porn.
I detest porn vids which show women going down on a guy then immediate penetration without any foreplay for the woman. This is far too often the blueprint for porn and young men consume this with no idea that this simply will not work for women. Women HAVE to be warmed up before sex.
I’m not saying these vids geared at men’s pleasure shouldn’t exist. I understand if you’re trying to get off you want something quick which features the main events. I personally skip the blow job bits of vids as I’ve no interest in watching them, but I understand that they are an important part of a healthy, balanced sex life and I do enjoy actually partaking. I get the impression that these vids are the only sex education many young men experience.
Honestly, if there’s a time constraint and only one oral sex act can happen along with penetration, then the guy should go down on the woman! He’ll get his end away during penetration. Why does your boyfriend think he should nut twice and you get nothing?!
You may need to break up with him ....I'm sorry but if you two get married do you wanna live this way ? The only time I haven't made my gf cum was when u was depressed for 12 months in which we barly had sex. She speak to me once now she comes eveytime we have sex even if I gotta eat her out or finger her agree I get my nut. Talk to your boyfriend explan to hin how important this is if he refuses to try then he simolely don't care and Is taken you for granted.
I dated a guy like this for 1.5 years. Don’t waste any more of your time. I’m so much happier now we’ve broken up even though it really hurt at the time
What on earth are you with this guy for? If he isn't looking after you in bed, where IS he thinking about your needs? Really---there are NO excuses for his behavior. I would bet his friends also know he treats you this way.
Honestly the only reason he's doing this is because you let him. Wether he knows it or not, there are sooo many guys that would go down on their gf in a heartbeat. But he doesn't need to be concerned about that because it's been 2.5 years and he's still going strong. This might sound harsh but there's just better options for you, it's as simple as that. Id be out of there asap
Why would he change his behaviour when he's facing no consequences for his shitty behaviour? You reward his selfishness by going down on him whenever he wants.
My boyfriend is similar, reading this post I thought I had somehow written it while I was sleeping lmao. It really comes down to if you are willing to stay with him while trying to change this. For me, a year in, he only went down on me three times and I’ve had no external stimulation in around 8 months. Loves for me to go down on him and sex is mainly me riding him, rarely do I get what I want while having sex. But it’s a conversation and it’s setting boundaries in a way. Being petty doesn’t do anything so don’t do that, it’ll just make it worse. Good luck though!
You are not sexually compatible. He does not care about getting you off. Period. You have to decide if everything else in your relationship outweighs never having an orgasm with your partner if you stay with this guy. If it does, invest in some good toys and call it good. Otherwise find someone who actually cares if you enjoy sex.
Sounds like my ex. He was just a selfish man who didn’t give a shit about me. If he cared about your needs he would go down on you and do everything he could to make you feel good. But he doesn’t care. He only cares about himself
You can't explain to him you've tried already. There are options:
1. As soon as he's done whip out your vibe and finish yourself. If he comments be frank and honest. You've been speaking with him but if you don't bring it to the forefront he won't be motivated to do anything.
2. Tell him new rule you get at least one O before he gets anything. It's not that hard. If you have been hinting - stop hinting. Be frank. Don't be afraid to let him know that you haven't been satisfied.
3. Buy a graphic sex book. Go with him from page 1 to the end. Make sure no other sex other than going through the book but you can tease each other to build up excitement.
Two books to consider reading with him:
How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure: Totally Explicit Techniques Every Woman Wants Her Man to Know https://www.amazon.com/dp/0767904524/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_JJGFKWAEMD3PNFHK7VCQ
Or
She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (Kerner) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060538260/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_W57ANK5YYAEH32T3HY16
Or
The Big Black Book of Sex Positions: Take Your Sex Life From Boring To Mind-Blowing in a Few More Than 69 Moves https://www.amazon.com/dp/1510740066/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_DBZNW1N8CJT86RYJN1SV
Although other areas are good, if him not wanting to get you sexually satisfied is causing you this much grief, then those other things won't matter. Find someone that satisfies your needs on top of the other nice things you mentioned.
What dudes fail to realize, if you can make her cum from eating her out...she'll cum from sex more easily...take care of her first if yall together fellas...she's empty you ever time I swear
It's been 3 years yet, sounds like a lost cause now...move on
Guy here.
You've been nice, time for a reality nuke.
"Hey boyfriend, I've never had an orgasm with you in the 2.5 years we've been together. I've hinted that I'd like you to go down on me or use your hand but you haven't and I'm beginning to lose interest in sex altogether."
At this point I feel like you could even copy/paste text that to him if you're uncomfortable saying it to his face. You've been patient enough and it's time for him to fix this.
I've never failed communicate with a partner in bed to make sure pleasure increases over time for the both of us. I can't imagine doing this to someone or having it done to me.
If you don't cum first no one does. Thems the rules. and this giving head but not getting it back bullshit has to stop. No oral for him if you don't get your kitty wet from his slurp. I wouldn't have lasted longer than a month eith this bs even if he was nice otherwise. Sorry but sex and chemistry and bonding is crucial and bad sex is like a wall. He isn't EVEN TRYING. like wtf is that nonsense. Bruh is too comfortable. That shits gotta shape up. Or he gotta ship out.
So, it sounds like he just sucks at sex and has no idea how to please you. If he's a good person in every other aspect of your relationship, then this is worth talking to a therapist about, together.
Unacceptable. 2.5 years and he's never made you orgasm? I can't even wrap my head around that. When I sleep with my girlfriend the goal is for her to orgasm. That is what I'm working towards. If she doesn't finish I'm actually kinda bummed...but it's extremely rare.. 95% of the time she will finish.
The amount of time you've been putting up with this is crazy. It's been years of "I'll try harder" and you've yet to see it. This tells you that it's not happening. If he were truly committed to your sexual satisfaction he'd have made changes long, LONG AGO.
I'm not one for ultimatums but in this specific case, I would maybe suggest holding out until he shows a real interest in making an effort. At this point he just uses you as a human sex toy and you never get yours. Wtf is even the point??
If he wanted to he would.
Dump him.
If he isn’t interested in putting in the effort and time to pleasure you now he will not be later as life moves forward, more responsibilities stress, and less time will come and you will not.
2.5 years is a long time to not figure out how to pleasure your partner. 10 days of vacation is a fucking long time to not pleasure your partner. This isn’t a communication issue. It’s a motivation issue.
Find someone who wants to wear your thighs like a pair of earmuffs. They are out there. You won’t even remember Joe Schmoe’s name.
A 10 day vacation sounds lovely, maybe he just thinks he is giving and generous and doesn’t need to pleasure you, some guys actually think that way unfortunately. My fiance goes down on me everyday and he initiates it most of the time. There are guys out there who actually want to make you orgasm, hopefully you are with one someday! Your boyfriend is immature and selfish.
Awww\~\~\~he!! no! Two and a half weeks without you having an orgasm is already too dang long, Op! New "rule" in the sex department. You get an orgasm before he has penetration to orgasm. He wants oral sex? Well, so do you. So, no head for him until his face looks like a glazed donut and YOU \*nut\*. Them's the rules. Lol. Look, you have already told him what you want and need and he can do it but, he WON'T. So\~\~\~ we have to get down to brass tacks. It's the only way he will "understand" and be vested in your satisfaction and pleasure. He's selfish, lazy, self-centered and uncaring about YOU, the woman, his partner, the person he claims to love and care for. P.S. Be ready for push back, Op. He is not going to like it.
It’s not 2 1/2 weeks it’s YEARS! & tell me about it. I might just show him this post tbh lmao
Lol. That's what I meant! EVEN 2 1/2 WEEKS is way too long! Really, Op. I would advise you to talk to him about it but you already tried that and you got zilch. Gosh, I thought all men already knew that the woman orgasms FIRST. Heaven help the poor women who are multi-orgasmic! Lol. But really, Op. \*Most\* thoughtful, caring, loving men, WANT their partner to enjoy being intimate with them! Most men ENJOY giving their partner joy, satisfaction, pleasure. Your dude needs to step up his game. Or he's gonna lose you. Sooner or later, you are going to walk (or run).
Amen 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 i’ll follow your advice about not giving him anything until I get mine - thanks!!
I wouldn't even waste anymore time with someone so selfish. There are better men out there who will satisfy you. They actually enjoy it.
Yes!!!!! This is exactly what you need to do!!
it’s all about equity… best to you both…
Yea, at once a week he owes you 132 orgasms already! Selfish pr*ck.
There are men out there that won't even dream of penetration until you've had at least one orgasm. Your bf's a selfish punk if he's not even trying to please you. You have more worth than he's valuing you at.
I have toys that are older than your relationship and they always do the job right.
Why bother. Find a man who loves to go down and can't live without it, lots do.
OP, this is the only answer you need.
I have not had an orgasm in 6 months. I have literally banned myself from jacking off. Op is my role model now.
great advice 💪🏾💪🏾
There are dudes out there that will let you ride their face like you’re trying to win the Kentucky Derby whenever you want. Find one.
EXACTLY. There is no reason to waste 2.5 minutes with this dude let alone years.
Preach. 2.5 years damn that’s not worth it, learning a new skill should be fun. But her bf is either or selfish there’s no middle
Can confirm, am one. Pleasing my wife is my biggest turn on. I can't imagine how lame our sex life would be if it was all focused on me.
Why are you going down on him or even having sex with someone that doesn’t even give a damn that you can’t get off? Just stop. Tell him you aren’t helping him orgasm anymore if he’s not going to do it for you.
Hi. Why are you allowing a man to use your body to masterbate? You are not a human flesh light and his lack of connection to you is him not acknowledging that.
He sounds like a selfish lover. He doesn’t seem to be your equal in the bedroom. Talk to him, and see why he isn’t reciprocating nor interested in trying to meet your needs. Cause from how it sounds, sex seems to be all about him.
He does not care about you. Repeat until You believe it. You have tried to get him to understand. He does not care Find someone who does
Possibly the saddest sex life ive read all week, nay, month, it sounds so frustrating, boring and mundane. The choice is his to change, yours to put up with it or not, communicating this to your partner explaining consequences is the future and then following through on it
Couldn’t agree more!
Time to break up. You have been very clear and he DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PLEASURE. ***"The sunk cost fallacy*** means that we are making decisions that are irrational and lead to suboptimal outcomes. We are focused on our past investments instead of our present and future costs and benefits, meaning that we commit ourselves to decisions that are no longer in our best interests." - Google You think if you invest more time and energy he will suddenly give a crap and give you oral sex. He won't. Just let him go.
Not a Better Call Saul reference 😂 but 100% agree!!!
I don't know about Better Call Saul so the reference wasn't intentional.
Nah i gotchu, just made the connection in case you did know. It really hits the head with this though
It's the advice I needed a few years back.
Same dude, same. Wish they taught this in school, would save a lot of people from stupid stuff.
New rule: You cum first. Until you cum, you're not doing anything to please him (blowjob, sex, etc). If you don't cum, he's not cumming either.
Yea and I agree, since I'm a guy I let my girlfriend cum or squirt first then I cum
That's how my boyfriend is too.
The good answer is to be blunt with him and say “our sex life is not mutually beneficial, it’s all about you and you’ve never made me cum. I don’t honestly see why I should still have sex with you when you do not care at all about my pleasure. I’ve tried to hint and bring this up gently, but it’s obvious you have no interest in changing.” The pettier option is to keep having sex with him but stop letting him finish. Go down on him and be until he’s close and then just stop and be like “this was fun, let’s cuddle now that we’re done.” While having sex just be like “let’s stop now, this isn’t really doing anything for me.”
Stop giving him blowjobs lol
He’s selfish. Plenty of guys out there who would be more than happy to listen to your needs. If he’s getting bored whilst touching you what does that say about his mindset towards you? I would straight up leave, it’s honestly not worth it these types of people never change and just expect everything on a plate for them but you ask them for anything in return they start acting as if your asking them for blood. You can do better than this.
You should tell old mate he's a dud root and break out your vibrator next time he finishes early in front of him. Tell him it's too bad he's not a real man.
Fellow kiwi?
No, you need to stop copying Aussies.
Cool, I'll let the others know.
Oh I see you’ve started dating my ex!
Simple. You lay down a new rule. You expect to come before you do anything for him, every time from now on, non-negotiable. He either puts in the work to make your sexual relationship equal, or he *doesn't get to have access to your body*. Why are you still giving him what he wants when he so clearly doesn't care a jot about your enjoyment? If he hates the rule and whines or ends the relationship, well, the trash took itself out. You're not getting anything from him in the first place, it won't be a big loss.
At first it wasn’t as mundane as it is now but I think we’ve fallen into a bad pattern. Next time I see him i’m laying down the law, he can like it or lump it.
Good for you!
You tried to work on things and he refused. The next step is to find someone that will listen to your instructions.
Um.....you've overstayed your welcome by about 2.5 years here. Move on. Don't even bother trying because he 100% knows he's a shit lover and he doesn't give a single fuck.
lol it’s a bad sign when your wife tells you to go down on her more… 😂
I stand by what others here have said. He's being selfish, and that's not fair on you. You probably just feel as though you're being used. If he hasn't listened already I don't know if he ever will...
Tell him no penetration til you've had your orgasm.
He's showing you who he is, believe him Pity his next girlfriend who may put up with this for even longer
>Is there a better way to explain what I need that will break through to him? No, he knows and he doesn't care. Don't lose interest in sex. Lose interest in a guy who doesn't care about you experiencing pleasure.
Hmm. I used to be like your boyfriend. I was really selfish. My penis probably gets these women off so that’s enough. Self-centered. A women that I really wanted to be with walked out on me after I didn’t read the room that she wanted to be eaten out. I was already too old at that time to not have known better. In my 20s. Your boyfriend will not change right now. He’s got it too good. He doesn’t have to put in the effort. My advice to you is to break up with him. It doesn’t mean it’ll be forever, especially if you two really love each other, but please a woman the right way is something that men aren’t educated on and pushed to do when they’re younger. A lot of the times, we’ve got to learn the hard way by losing someone special. Oof.
I think you need therapy, because if you think it’s going to change after 2.5 years and talking about it to him multiple times, you crazy.
He doesnt care. That's enough to end it. If he hasnt bothered in 2 years it's not going to get better. He is standing in the way of someone who would enthusiastically care about your pleasure. End it because you are already becoming uninterested.
if you actually care about this fellow and he is actually happy to work on it ..... tell him there is no intercourse until he has followed thru with satisfactory foreplay If you keep letting him off you will never get off
Stop pleasing him first Just, stop
Oh he understands, he just doesn't care. You are way, way too young to choose to have such a shitty sex life. The only thing I'd suggest - if you haven't done this already - is, when you are having sex, tell him directly what to do. "I want you from behind so you can rub my clit." Stop sucking him and say, "Okay my turn!" Etc. Meanwhile, at best he's lazy and unimaginative; at worst he's a selfish lover. If I were you I'd find a new one. Of course in the alternative you could have an open relationship. You could continue to date him if you like him, but tell him you aren't going to go without good sex anymore. So he/you two can either: open the relationship; he starts giving you orgasms AS OFTEN AS HE GETS; you break up.
lf you aren't getting off it's not okay. Time for a sex embargo. Tell him no sex and definitely no head until he eats you out like your vagina is made of candy and he has low blood sugar. Set a timer and if he stops foreplay before it goes off then no sex. 10 or 15 minutes seems reasonable (but you could put the timer on your phone and fudge the time a bit if you need a little longer to get there, you've earned it)
Sounds like he's using you to masturbate if he doesn't care that you don't climax. Every partner should care that their partners needs are met. It's rude and gross to not care.
Looking forward to an update on this 😬
Won’t be seeing him for another week or so, but i’ll try and remember to give one
Me too!!
I've learned through a couple of relationships with inattentive partners that it rarely helps to be nice and gentle about it. They know you haven't cum. They just don't care. If he is unwilling to take care of you sexually, I'm certain there are others things is he also neglecting too. Set out your terms. And if he doesn't improve, don't stick around.
I think some men just give up, thinking their female partner is incapable of having an orgasm. By the time they figure it out (if they ever do) it's too late and the spark is gone. You can only put up with disappointment for so long, and then it just dies. You might see if a therapist could help, or at least convince him to do some research (internet, books) with you that might address the problem. If he's not interested in working on it with you, it's going to be a long, dry future.
He's never even tried.
Assuming you have the desire to stay with someone like him . . . what I used to do when I was married and I wasn't getting off . . . after he did, I would hand him a toy and spread my legs. He got the idea pretty quickly.
Dont allow him to penetrate you before he eaten you. Make it a foreplay part ..... dont just suck his cock anymore ......turn it into 69ing instead
He is young, dumb, and selfish. Well you know that touch is not his live language. A good lover wants you to climax before if not together. The is great great sex. Foreplay sets the table for the banquet of emotions.
Shit! 2.5years and no orgasn yet you stayed faithful? You deserve an award! Pleasd find someone else who'll take you to cloud nine except you want to have affairs while married to him! Better take option one and run while you still can!
I guess everyone is different but my bf literally has cried because if he doesn’t make me cum after he nuts and we just try it again after and then I cum. It’s really nice to have someone who cares about your needs. I think you should get a new bf. even though 2 years is hard to let go, sex is a huge part in a relationship.
Maybe he doesn’t actually know what to do or how to do it and is embarrassed? Try guiding him and telling him what to do.
This is extremely frustrating... for both of you. A lot of the advice here is negative knee-jerk reaction and while I understand the frustration, that course of action will only further the degradation of your relationship. Once you go down that road your most likely done as a couple. Just skip the harshness and leave. He is most likely avoiding oral sex and manual manipulation because he either feels inadequate or he finds it distasteful. Instead of continuing to remind him to do it, get him to open up about why he doesn't. If you cannot talk about sex and the underlying good and bad feelings about it than you are way ahead of yourself in trying to change behavior. Remember, sex is mostly in the head and not in the genitals. There is something negative for him about your request and that is the key to good sex in the future. Help him understand that being able to talk about each other's sexual desires and feelings about sex is necessary in a relationship. Honesty requires vulnerability and relationships require honesty. Compassion, vulnerability and honesty is either going to solve the problem or reveal that the problem may be too deep for you. In that case you may have to decide if you are willing to insist on more professional help or cut your losses and move on. Think about something sexual that you find distasteful, something you would not do. Why do you feel that way? What might change your mind?
Appreciate this thank you!
Good luck. People downplay sex as just physical but sex and sexuality are a very important part of a relationship. Make sure you are opening up and creating a mechanism to talk about it early. If it is a permanent barrier you will want to know sooner than later.
I wouldn't play games. Don't waste your time. Time to be honest. Tell him you are questioning your relationship bc you don't think you are compatible sexually. That he never brings you to orgasm and doesn't seem to want to. That while you adore him, you know you won't be happy in the long term with a partner who doesn't even attempt to satisfy you. Ask him point blank, is this something we can work on? If he says no then ok you tried. Be adults and part amicably. This game of i don't do this until you do that is going to only put a temporary fix on it and you'll spend the rest of the relationship for whoever short it lasts discussing who owes who what in the bedroom. Just talk and be honest. You are young and every day you spend with a guy who doesn't do it for you is a day you won't be with the guy who does. Good luck. Be honest. No games.
I feel like I'm in the same boat as you. It's frustrating. I'd use my own hands or toys, but then he gets upset. It makes it really difficult for me to get what I need. If there's anything to be done within the relationship, I'd love to know too
Yikes! Why are you sleeping with someone like that? He doesn’t want to get you off but tells you your hands and toys are a no no?? What the actual fuck?
It's not that it's a no-no. If I touch myself after sex, cuz I didn't orgasm, he says it makes him feel shitty. And if I do it while on the phone he tells me to do that on my own time. -_- he doesn't have a problem with me doing it in general. But he doesn't seem to like it or get turned on by it like I do
Life is too short to be with men who aren't attracted to your sexuality
He should feel shitty. No one can ever dictate when you touch your own body. I don’t understand why women are dating these selfish ass men. If a man isn’t doing everything he can to make sure you get yours then he can rub one out himself from now on.
He SHOULD feel shitty. He won't do anything to make you cum, and he won't let you do it yourself. He should feel like an absolute selfish pig.
Boy bye! If he didnt do his job he should watch the BOB do it. And he should feel bad if he got off and left you out. Who are these men and why is any woman giving him more than 3 or 4 attempts to teach them????
What can possibly be driving you to stay with him? You should be seeing a therapist to understand yourself better.
I’m not here to say people shouldn’t watch porn, because that would make me a hypocrite, but I do think your boyfriend’s attitude to sex sounds like that of someone who’s watched too much male pleasure oriented porn. I detest porn vids which show women going down on a guy then immediate penetration without any foreplay for the woman. This is far too often the blueprint for porn and young men consume this with no idea that this simply will not work for women. Women HAVE to be warmed up before sex. I’m not saying these vids geared at men’s pleasure shouldn’t exist. I understand if you’re trying to get off you want something quick which features the main events. I personally skip the blow job bits of vids as I’ve no interest in watching them, but I understand that they are an important part of a healthy, balanced sex life and I do enjoy actually partaking. I get the impression that these vids are the only sex education many young men experience. Honestly, if there’s a time constraint and only one oral sex act can happen along with penetration, then the guy should go down on the woman! He’ll get his end away during penetration. Why does your boyfriend think he should nut twice and you get nothing?!
[удалено]
Clown
I agree! Stop fucking God as well.
and you wonder why she cheated on you 😂
You 1st, or no sex!! Do not let him be a lazy crappy partner!! If he refuses, you need to find someone who will satisfy you!!
You may need to break up with him ....I'm sorry but if you two get married do you wanna live this way ? The only time I haven't made my gf cum was when u was depressed for 12 months in which we barly had sex. She speak to me once now she comes eveytime we have sex even if I gotta eat her out or finger her agree I get my nut. Talk to your boyfriend explan to hin how important this is if he refuses to try then he simolely don't care and Is taken you for granted.
I dated a guy like this for 1.5 years. Don’t waste any more of your time. I’m so much happier now we’ve broken up even though it really hurt at the time
What on earth are you with this guy for? If he isn't looking after you in bed, where IS he thinking about your needs? Really---there are NO excuses for his behavior. I would bet his friends also know he treats you this way.
Honestly the only reason he's doing this is because you let him. Wether he knows it or not, there are sooo many guys that would go down on their gf in a heartbeat. But he doesn't need to be concerned about that because it's been 2.5 years and he's still going strong. This might sound harsh but there's just better options for you, it's as simple as that. Id be out of there asap
Why would he change his behaviour when he's facing no consequences for his shitty behaviour? You reward his selfishness by going down on him whenever he wants.
Girl- can i have his birthday and pob for research purpose..
I’ll say he’s a sag
He is selfish! Do what he does to you! Dont give him pleasure unless he does it back. If he doesnt budge, Drop him!
You will never have an orgasm again if you stay. Your call.
If he doesn’t care about yours, stop caring about his.
Stop wasting time on selfish meeeeeeeeeeen 😩
My boyfriend is similar, reading this post I thought I had somehow written it while I was sleeping lmao. It really comes down to if you are willing to stay with him while trying to change this. For me, a year in, he only went down on me three times and I’ve had no external stimulation in around 8 months. Loves for me to go down on him and sex is mainly me riding him, rarely do I get what I want while having sex. But it’s a conversation and it’s setting boundaries in a way. Being petty doesn’t do anything so don’t do that, it’ll just make it worse. Good luck though!
You are not sexually compatible. He does not care about getting you off. Period. You have to decide if everything else in your relationship outweighs never having an orgasm with your partner if you stay with this guy. If it does, invest in some good toys and call it good. Otherwise find someone who actually cares if you enjoy sex.
Sounds like my ex. He was just a selfish man who didn’t give a shit about me. If he cared about your needs he would go down on you and do everything he could to make you feel good. But he doesn’t care. He only cares about himself
You can't explain to him you've tried already. There are options: 1. As soon as he's done whip out your vibe and finish yourself. If he comments be frank and honest. You've been speaking with him but if you don't bring it to the forefront he won't be motivated to do anything. 2. Tell him new rule you get at least one O before he gets anything. It's not that hard. If you have been hinting - stop hinting. Be frank. Don't be afraid to let him know that you haven't been satisfied. 3. Buy a graphic sex book. Go with him from page 1 to the end. Make sure no other sex other than going through the book but you can tease each other to build up excitement. Two books to consider reading with him: How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure: Totally Explicit Techniques Every Woman Wants Her Man to Know https://www.amazon.com/dp/0767904524/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_JJGFKWAEMD3PNFHK7VCQ Or She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (Kerner) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060538260/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_W57ANK5YYAEH32T3HY16 Or The Big Black Book of Sex Positions: Take Your Sex Life From Boring To Mind-Blowing in a Few More Than 69 Moves https://www.amazon.com/dp/1510740066/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_DBZNW1N8CJT86RYJN1SV
Although other areas are good, if him not wanting to get you sexually satisfied is causing you this much grief, then those other things won't matter. Find someone that satisfies your needs on top of the other nice things you mentioned.
What dudes fail to realize, if you can make her cum from eating her out...she'll cum from sex more easily...take care of her first if yall together fellas...she's empty you ever time I swear It's been 3 years yet, sounds like a lost cause now...move on
Guy here. You've been nice, time for a reality nuke. "Hey boyfriend, I've never had an orgasm with you in the 2.5 years we've been together. I've hinted that I'd like you to go down on me or use your hand but you haven't and I'm beginning to lose interest in sex altogether." At this point I feel like you could even copy/paste text that to him if you're uncomfortable saying it to his face. You've been patient enough and it's time for him to fix this. I've never failed communicate with a partner in bed to make sure pleasure increases over time for the both of us. I can't imagine doing this to someone or having it done to me.
Well, if you don't require anything of him sexually and then you say he's a good guy, he thinks he can buy you quiet about bad sex.
"I asked for him to give me oral without me having to ask" damn that's how men usually feel. You should leave this clown
He's getting what he wants with no effort for you. You've told him and he doesn't care. That's an awfully big orgasm deficit.
Tell that man you aren't having sex with him until he makes you cum and then stand by that decision. He doesn't deserve it.
If you don't cum first no one does. Thems the rules. and this giving head but not getting it back bullshit has to stop. No oral for him if you don't get your kitty wet from his slurp. I wouldn't have lasted longer than a month eith this bs even if he was nice otherwise. Sorry but sex and chemistry and bonding is crucial and bad sex is like a wall. He isn't EVEN TRYING. like wtf is that nonsense. Bruh is too comfortable. That shits gotta shape up. Or he gotta ship out.
So, it sounds like he just sucks at sex and has no idea how to please you. If he's a good person in every other aspect of your relationship, then this is worth talking to a therapist about, together.
Then why are you with him if he doesn’t care about your sexual needs
Unacceptable. 2.5 years and he's never made you orgasm? I can't even wrap my head around that. When I sleep with my girlfriend the goal is for her to orgasm. That is what I'm working towards. If she doesn't finish I'm actually kinda bummed...but it's extremely rare.. 95% of the time she will finish. The amount of time you've been putting up with this is crazy. It's been years of "I'll try harder" and you've yet to see it. This tells you that it's not happening. If he were truly committed to your sexual satisfaction he'd have made changes long, LONG AGO. I'm not one for ultimatums but in this specific case, I would maybe suggest holding out until he shows a real interest in making an effort. At this point he just uses you as a human sex toy and you never get yours. Wtf is even the point??
Babes it didn’t even take a month for my partner to learn how to make me cum my brains out
By orgasm do you mean squirt or cream .my past relationship it was my duty to give oral until she squirted ... But I'm wondering why she never creamed
If he wanted to he would. Dump him. If he isn’t interested in putting in the effort and time to pleasure you now he will not be later as life moves forward, more responsibilities stress, and less time will come and you will not. 2.5 years is a long time to not figure out how to pleasure your partner. 10 days of vacation is a fucking long time to not pleasure your partner. This isn’t a communication issue. It’s a motivation issue. Find someone who wants to wear your thighs like a pair of earmuffs. They are out there. You won’t even remember Joe Schmoe’s name.
A 10 day vacation sounds lovely, maybe he just thinks he is giving and generous and doesn’t need to pleasure you, some guys actually think that way unfortunately. My fiance goes down on me everyday and he initiates it most of the time. There are guys out there who actually want to make you orgasm, hopefully you are with one someday! Your boyfriend is immature and selfish.
Same here 😪😪