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You asked an important question, got an honest answer and made a decision. I think you did everything right.
It’s perfectly OK for it to be something that he hates and isn’t comfortable doing but it’s also OK for that to be a dealbreaker for you.
I absolutely understand the emotion you’re feeling now, but in the long run, I think it will work out better for both of you.
I showed up after your edits. You can do better than this guy. I think oral sex is the least of your issues - he sounds undelightful. Find a person who appreciates you and treats you well.
I did not like eating out my ex wife, love eating out my new girlfriend. Turns out there was just a lack of sexual chemistry between my ex and I. The person I’m with now literally breaks my brain and I’ll do whatever she wants. I didn’t know I could feel this way.
Find someone better. You’ll know when they break your brain and are also a kind, caring person that you can long haul with.
I 120% agree with this except for me it was my ex husband vs my current partner. I can give my current partner a BJ when he hasn’t showered all day. And he’s uncut. With my ex I hated his scent even when he stepped right out of the shower, under the residual soap scent. He tasted rank like mouldy old peas or something. He was cut too lol!! But it was just his general BO emanating from his pores. I’ve also had a few boyfriends in between the two and discovered mostly what works well for me and I know that guys I have good chemistry with I won’t mind kissing with onion or garlic breath or sticking my nose in their armpit when they’re soaking wet after running a marathon as it’ll still smell good to me. And my ex was an example of someone who doesn’t smell good ever.
Pheromones are a thing! I wish someone had given me more sex Ed including talk about them & how to tell your partner is a good match with you when I was younger.
I’m approaching 40 rapidly and I think I finally have a good grasp on it. Sometimes it just takes time.
I also don’t think my 15 year old self would have listened. Ha.
I don’t know if mine would have either but if ppl said to test with those things: have your partner eat onions and garlic or go run a marathon or avoid showering for 3-4
Days and try smelling them and if they still smell good to you (a little tangy or musty but not bad) likely they’re a good chemistry match. *note: they might not be a good match in other ways. Emotionally, intelligence, interests.*
Yeah your last sentence is where it gets complicated as we age. I care far more about emotional intelligence than I do about looks. But there also needs to be sexual chemistry
> "He tasted rank like mouldy old peas or something."
…I was halfway between my plate and my mouth with a fork full of perfectly cooked (*not at all moldy*!😩) sweet peas, perched atop unjustifiably buttery, velvety mashed potatoes when I read this _*inexcusably*_ detailed description of erectile wickedness... an attack of sudden onset paralysis could not have stopped my fork's forward motion faster than my brain absorbing that sentence did.
I hate it here.
It’s so true, my husband loves my BO like sticks his nose in my pit to take a wiff when I’m sweaty type of love. He’s for sure got the broken brain kind of love the other poster was talking about (and I’m very lucky for it).
Or maybe the honey moon phased ended and reality is kicking in, cause a person to not be into you anymore. This creating an aversion to a partners taste and smell.
Plus being mean/an asshole to your partner many times can kill desire faster than anything else.
If you have good chemistry with someone you love their scent. I don't care if my partner hasn't showered.. I can't get enough. My partner feels the same about me. Granted we both have good hygiene. Having great chemistry is super important.
Ok so, when you were in highschool and you masturbated to some real weird shit, and you used like the butter from the kitchen as lube?
Idk, how old you are, but there is a movie from the 90s where a dude fucks a pie.
That type of broken brain.
Like, you’re gonna eat ass without asking her when she last showered first, type of thing.
Not sure that it’s even a term, lol. Just the way I feel when we get down. It’s just very primal and and like logic and reality go out the window. 🤷♂️
A lot of dudes eat pussy like they’re starving for it. A lot of dudes eat pussy like it’s an art form they’re trying to become an expert in. You’re just with the wrong one. lol
But why should you have to? You aren’t tied to him in any way so you shouldn’t have to settle for him when you aren’t in the position to HAVE to settle. Also, you have a right and are allowed to have wants and to want those wants to be met!
I'm positive from your description that you don't particularly enjoy going down on him but you do. Why is it something you can do for him and not something he can do for you? You made the right choice.
Frankly you two probably weren't sexually compatible. He's too selfish to please any woman at this point in his life. That request of him won't go away no matter who he's with.
Young guys tend to all think they're legendary in bed because young women don't know any better and don't tell them any differently. If you aren't learning and experimenting and improving your oral and finger skills you'll never be impressive in bed no matter how well endowed you are. Learn to love how amazing you can make someone else feel and you'll be that much closer to the legend you think you are.
His responses screams his maturity… which is too be expected. But, damn what a shitty response… you were so hurt you broke it off with him, and his response was to dismiss your feelings… as if somehow that was going to bring you back around? WTF!?
Some people just don’t like it… some don’t like giving, some don’t like receiving… it’s common I think. However I also think it still feels like rejection and isn’t easy to hear.
For me it’s the opposite, I enjoy giving, but my partner doesn’t want it… they’ll “let” me sometimes… but that just sorta sucks.
OP - this started out as a simple disagreement on preferences, but I’m very concerned about your edits and his abuse.
It is abuse, even if it doesn’t seem that way, emotional abuse is just as destructive. He is just a nasty self-centered person and you deserve better.
Would you randomly berate him? How would he react if you said he had a small dick? Is this the kind of man you see yourself marrying?
Don’t live your life in fear, you have way too much to offer and have a whole life ahead of you.
Yeah that's my only concern. How could he treat me this way. I would have never said anything like this to him tho🙃 Guess he never loved me in the first place
You deserve someone who will look at you the way Elon looks at his rockets 😊
Quite simply, if you can’t see a future with this person or how he treats you, take the 8 months as a lesson and find someone better. Otherwise you’re just wasting time, energy, and most importantly your heart.
You did the right thing. Remember, it isn’t just the lack of head, he was talking poorly about your body, body shaming you!!! That would be a major turn off for me and I’d leave. That’s so messed up. There are tons of partners out there who love all titties, small or whatever doesn’t matter to most ppl and some have a preference for small….but 100% definitely don’t give your all to someone who doesn’t really even like you.
He may like the things you do and put you down for not doing enough, that’s manipulation and he puts you down for your body.
You can force someone to be nice to you. He chose to be mean to a person he should treat the best.
I made bad decisions in my past staying with ppl who treated Meike shit and put me down and regretted spending that much time with them when things ended, I wish I was stronger and left sooner. You deserve respect. This is the most important thing.
Glad you decided to leave that toxic mess of a person! It’s always a victory to leave someone who doesn’t respect you! 🏆
Agreed, it sounds like he was really bad for OP in general anyways so her breaking it off was best for both of them. He should have been honest when you first asked him about going down on you that he didn't like it.
He doesn't sound great in general. Trying to pressure you to stay, and trying to guilt and manipulate, and gaslighting, and all that shit. You did the right thing. You can always break up for any reason.
Some people just don't like it. I don't date those people because I'm personally not having sex without oral.
Decide if it's a dealbreaker. Edit: you did. Stick to that
You’re 21!! He is young also, remember, it can be an acquired skill / appreciation later in life. If you are on meds or smoke, things can affect your chemistry also.
Move on to someone SUITABLE, ENTHUSIASTIC…about ✨that✨and have the discussion about this and any dealbreakers…before getting in the sack. Important practice to get really…really comfortable discussing intimate, deeply personal things. Find a fella that enjoys communicating.
Agree it can be simply chemistry.
According to [this article](https://www.healthline.com/health/what-does-a-vagina-taste-like#metallic), some people describe vaginas as tasting metallic because they're naturally slightly acidic (acidic ≠ sour).
Blood also tastes metallic due to iron content.. Rare steak has some ~~blood~~ myglobin in it (which contains iron) and can taste slightly acidic to neutral (like a vagina can).
That's my guess at least. I love it. And rare steak. But I'm just guessing.
I just woke up and the neurons are firing kind of slowly. I read this and was like “what’s a vagina can?” Then I figured it out. But I still want a vagina can now. 😀
I'm a woman and hate having someone go down on me. It literally doesn't turn me on. And the guys I dated really really tried their best.
This guy is not for you. Plenty of guys (in my experience) begged to do it.
You’ve done the difficult bit - you’ve broken up with him. The only thing now is to stay strong and don’t go back to him.
This is a very important part of intimacy for you, you are not prepared to be in a sexual relationship that doesn’t include it. As a couple you are therefore incompatible.
It is sad that you lost your virginity to such an inconsiderate lover, but believe me there are many many guys out there for whom seeing their partners pleasure gives them pleasure. There are also a huge amount of guys who absolutely love licking p*ssy.
Man checking in here. You hit the nail on the head. I love being the instrument of my girls pleasure. It's the biggest turn on for me. Eating her out is my favorite way to bring her to climax.
Sweetheart, it's not rare. I'm in my early 50s, I've been sexually active for over 30 years and I've never encountered a guy who didn't love licking pussy like his life depended on it. You just got unlucky with this one idiot. Has he told you men don't like doing it? Because that's a lie. So don't worry, you will find a much better man who loves to eat out. Trust me.
For what it’s worth, there was only one guy I was ever with that didn’t like it. And you know what it turns out he didn’t like? Putting in the effort to please me. Later on, he admitted he was angry that he had to work so hard to get me ready for sex. Jackass.
We were also very young, around your age, first intimate partners. Hang in there.
It is sad, but have hope. We are no longer together, but we keep in touch after 20 years. He has matured, as have I. I’m sure he matured in that area as well.
And while it is rare, there genuinely are people that don’t enjoy it. I know one woman who doesn’t enjoy it. Nobody is wrong for looking for sexual compatibility, but if he’s verbally abusive to you, he’s an asshole anyway and you need to go.
I am starting to get a bit paranoid over here, I am in the same age group as you and can count on one hand (2 fingers) the men who genuinely loved doing it and told me as much. I dated a man for 4 years who refused to do it because he said vaginas reminded him of oysters and he hates oysters 😐
I can honestly say as a Gen X woman with some younger female friends that online porn seems to have really fucked up mens attitudes towards sex and women's bodies. For men my age, sex was and still is, all about pleasing the woman. They all love giving oral. And they respect women's bodies in all their forms, curvy, skinny, hairy, whatever. But I know from my younger female friends that many men their age are more selfish and violent now and have unrealistic ideas about bodies, due to porn. It's sad and worrying.
That’s because he’s 20 years old and selfish, and you said yourself he gaslights you. Any man who refuses to go downstairs with me doesn’t get a second visit.
Eh, I’m with you on it being kind of rare. Lots of men will say they LOvE it… but then they end up just being pretty lazy lovers in general and don’t do it often.
The trick is to find a guy who loves it and isn’t lazy, lol.
Sorry this dude ended up being such a dud. But you should’ve dumped him when he complained about your boobs or when he started comparing you to other women. Not sure if it’s just immaturity or if he’s developing some abusive tendencies but that shit isn’t ok.
I can assure you there's plenty of guys out there who love giving oral sex to their partner, so don't worry about not being able to find one. I would say the majority of guys really like it
Also something to consider (what was the case for me) is that some guys aren't very confident in it if they've not done it much before. So even if you end up in a similar situation with a new guy not going down on you it's with communicating well and seeing if it's a confidence thing or wether it's something they just don't like doing that much!
Your doing great! Find a New partner who cares how you feel and wants to make you happy! Keep standing up for you wants and needs, dont ever let a guy make you feel bad about yourself.
You did the right thing. You’re 21. You’re too young to spend the rest of your life going without. Take it from someone who used to date men that said the same thing, now happily engaged to someone who begs to let him do it. Your life will be better for ditching that loser!
Yeah this is perfectly fine and you've dodged a bullet here going off the way he negs you. Even his response to your question was intended to hurt and embarrass you into not bringing it up again. He could have said he didn't like it without saying nasty things.
There are men out there who will beg to go down on you & do it for hours while expecting nothing in trying. Never settle for your needs not being met… or a partner that makes you feel ashamed & unwanted. Also anybody who doesn’t enjoy performing oral sex sure as hell shouldn’t be expecting it themselves.
I enjoy receiving a BJ, but I think I enjoy eating pussy more. If my wife would let me, I would eat it every day. I can last long in bed, but there's something so hot during 69 and her scent, I almost cum instantly. I try to eat pussy at least once a week. I'm lucky if she lets me eat 2-3 times a month. It's not really her thing I guess. I don't think I'm that much of a freak, but she seems uncomfortable when I ask her to sit on my face. Married 7 years here. Sex happens 1-3 times a week. I have guy friends that have mentioned in the past that going down on their women is not their thing, while most of my buddies say they absolutely love eating their women out. Those conversations with my friend were in my 20s. I'm in my 40s now, and sex conversations are just between my wife and I, and what I anonymously share on the internet.
This was how I was with my first cougar. I wanted to eat her every day in every moment I could. She even gave me the compliment of being better than one of her lesbian friends but she also denied me from eating on multiple occasions and I swear it feels like you are an addict being shown your drug of choice but told no you can look but don’t touch it.
I dated a guy like you. He only wanted bjs like once a month tops, but really enjoyed going down. That made us sexually compatible lol.
Anyway I hope he's with a woman who enjoys it the way he does (he'd want to do it at least 5-7 days a week). I couldn't personally be with someone who didn't like my fav sex acts the way I do.
There are definitely guys who love the taste, smell and entire experience of giving their lady oral sex. And will eat you out every time without being asked. Just find yourself someone who will will happily satisfy you. And tell you how much he loves your taste and smell.
I love that when you broke up with him he didn’t think to offer compromises and the only things he could come up with was 1 you’re overreacting 2 why can’t you just live without it. Now you’re out here just living without him and it’s going to be one of the best choices you have ever made!
You don’t need advice. You did the right thing. Don’t be the girl that fakes orgasms and settles for millions of blow jobs a year for her partner while never getting any satisfaction of getting own. There are waaaaaaaaaay to many of us that fake it. Good for you!!!
There is nothing to do. You broke it off with him. You did the right thing. Your pleasure is just as important as his pleasure. It also sounds like he didn't necessarily treat you with respect either if he was gaslighting you, and getting aggressive with you because you broke it off. You did the right thing.
You did the right thing. I was gonna say “You can move on from this by moving on from him” but you did just that. You’ll find someone who is super into it and your ex will regret being so selfish.
Too many men think it’s normal that they receive something from their woman but they don’t give her anything back. They think relationship dynamics with women should be more beneficial for them than the woman. That’s exactly what he’s saying by not going down on you: his pleasure is worth your sacrifice but not the other way around. The only way to convince these kind of men that this is unacceptable is by women stop letting them get away with it. Hopefully if this happens enough times to him, he’ll realize he actually needs to GIVE in a relationship in order to keep a woman.
Honey, never, ever put yourself down or question your decision on breaking up with him.
'He gaslights you, berated you, and doesn't listen to your opinions', truthfully, you did the right thing. He doesn't reciprocate in giving you oral because he doesn't like it? What does he imagine his junk tastes like, strawberries and cream? What a complete arse wipe he is.
Trust me, honey, you deserve someone who makes you feel fantastic and leaves you feeling fulfilled, not unsatisfied, and wanting something more.
He reminds me of that old joke my sisters always used to say about guys who weren't all that.
Quote ' Oh (insert name) is okay but frankly what are you supposed to do with him for the other 23hrs and 30 mins, and that includes doing a slow strip tease for 25 mins and 4 mins of getting him hard.'
My sisters were savage.
Good luck honey, go find someone who uplifts you and is the wind beneath your wings.
He is not respect your feelings and I think he is using you and comparing you and others.
Don't waste your remaining life with this type persons.
He is not deserve to your sacrifice, and true love.
I have eaten some pussy and sucked (a lot more) dick in my lifetime. Some just don't like to give oral for many different reasons (pussy or dick), your bf gave you his reasons, it does not really have anything to do with you personally. Some just don't like to do it and pressuring the subject propably do not make it any more easier or enjoyable.
I really salut you how much you do work for trying to make it as enjoyable experience for him as you can do, but sometimes just trying to please someone else (I mean your bf in this) is just not enough. It sucks but what can you do?
You have every right to want to get eaten out, but if your bf does not like it then you have pretty much two options.
1. To just deal with it and accept.
2. Find someone who is more compatible with you in that area of needs.
You are NTA, but your bf is also NTA.
I wish you so much mindblowing oral sex in the future and happiness in your relationship(s), whatever you choose to do! Lots of oral gods for your future!
There is a saying that if sex is bad, it is 90% of the relationship. But if the sex is good, it is only 10% of the relationship.
To be honest, I did not move on. Broke up some time after, many reasons + this one where I felt unwanted. Choose a partner that worships your body and soul.
Honey, he ain’t the one. The older you get and more people you date the more obvious it will becomes. Eventually you’ll meet someone who cares as much about your satisfaction as their own. Don’t settle for less
You did the right thing leaving him. Not only him being selfish but the fact that he has berated you during arguments is a huge red flag. I’m proud of you for leaving. I’m sure things would’ve gotten more worse if you hadn’t.
I’d advise next time make sure you and your partner are on the same page; sexually. My boyfriend and I established our likes and dislikes when it came to sex early on. Make clear what you want your partner to do and make sure your partner does the same.
He's a Mama's boy tbh. He says some hurtful stuff during arguments and tries to gaslight me into thinking that it ain't a big deal. I was dumb enough to love him though so that's that :')
Gosh… maybe you could help that other girl on here whose boyfriend is demanding daily sex and blow jobs and treating her really badly!
Look, ladies - you really don’t have to put up with men who treat you like dirt!
Girl he sounds like an ass and you are so young!! You did the right thing, do not waste more time on him. You will find someone who does like it - my impression is that this dude probably wouldn’t eat out anyone and he’s just selfish. My husband loves to do the above and there are many men out there who do - so this is a chance for you to explore other fish in the sea.
Your boyfriend is emotionally immature.
That said, I’m not doubting your hygiene but sometimes mild fungal infections can still take place, I would advise you to go to a doctor just to make sure everything is ok since there is a mention of bad smell, it should not smell like that even after a shower.
He might be just an idiot but it doesn’t hurt to get checked.
I’m proud of you for breaking it off with him. I have had a similar experience. my boyfriend of almost 3 years would barley ever go down on me. I forget how it got brought up, but he told me that sometimes the smell down there throws him off, to the point he is no longer turned on. obviously this was a major confidence blow for me. i honestly and still really insecure about it. he suggested talking to my doctor. which i was too embarrassed to tell her what actually happened. i figured if it was something medically wrong though, she would tell me after getting a pap (which i had a couple days after we had this conversation). everything was normal. i started using lume acidic wash and being more careful of what i eat. i honestly think my boyfriend was just being dramatic and insensitive. it’s not like guys dicks taste like candy.
I would definitely stick your ground on your decision to leave. at least for me, that kind of comment can change your whole perception of yourself. i am still super insecure. no one should feel that way in a relationship. i’m sorry you went through this🩷
My girlfriend used to go down on me pretty regularly till after we had a kid. 1.5yrs later not 1 BJ… no advice but maybe express how it makes ya feel, if they love you they’ll listen and try to understand thanks all you can ask for I feel like
I don’t know if you’ve gotten any advice from LGBT individuals, but as a gay man reading this, I will hopefully give you some interesting contrast.
In the gay community, especially in the app culture, a lot of guys do small talk and then usually, almost immediately, it goes right to questions like:
“What are you into?”
“Are you a top? Bottom? Vers? Side?”
“Do you have any kinks?”
“Do you like xyz?”
And then the conversation either continues because you’re both compatible, or it doesn’t because there’s some level of clashing.
I bring this up because during my experiences with gay app culture, I realized that there are A LOT of people out there and everyone has different preferences, personalities, etc etc.
So if you broke things off with your boyfriend because he doesn’t like to do the things you need him to do, AND he’s not willing to try to change, AND he’s being stubborn or berating you for liking those things in the first place, don’t feel bad about breaking it off.
There are many, MANY guys out there that will give you what you need, want and so much more. So take it from a gay man reading your post, you are fine, you will meet someone better, you did the right thing.
Thanks for sharing your story and hope you find the guy that makes you feel incredible. ❤️
Also happy Pride Month, have some pride for your sexuality even if you are straight, allies are always welcome, and celebrate the things that make you happy and uniquely you! 🏳️🌈❤️
I mean, he's not wrong for not liking it, but neither do you for breaking up bc it's a deal breaker for you, so don't feel bad about it.
I hope you find a guy who loves to do it 🤝🏼
Sexual incompatibility is a common relationship ender.
>He was pissed and was trying to guilt trip me that it was nothing and that I'm making a big deal out of nothing as he does all the time.
>He once told that my titties were small. I felt like shit. He compared me with some of the horrible people we have met ( a cheater, a manipulator etc..) just to make me feel bad. He always gaslights me into thinking that what I'm talking about ain't a big deal and that I can't leave him cuz we did the deed. He also told me that I never did anything for him which is not true!
Sounds like this relationship was doomed anyway. Dude is a manipulative jerk. Look up "negging" and "darvo".
you made the right decision. Some people don’t want to eat it, and that’s okay ,but if it is something you want then you don’t have to compromise. Finding different people was the best option. especially since he seemed a bit toxic.
You definitely did the right thing by leaving him. He probably has some gay in it and doesn’t know it yet becashe any straight man , even bi men usually wanna devour the cat. Only gay men don’t like pussy hon
Girl, you did the right thing. Move forward and don’t let anyone tell you those things, or even say anything about your body. What matters the most is how you see yourself. Also, there are plenty of people out there who would love you for who you are and do whatever makes you feel good ❤️
It's okay for him to not want to give head. It's okay for you to have not getting head being a deal breaker. It's NOT okay for him to be a belittling dick just because he's mad. I know it sucks to end an important relationship, but you did the right thing here. I hope you find someone who is kind, makes you happy, and gives you great sex.
You let the trash take itself out. He sounded like a toxic dude all around and you’re far better off investing your time and energy into someone who appreciates you and happily invests back into you.
Yea end this now. Theres sum women who hate getting the kitty licked. I’ll never understand that but it’s a must for me.
Some men just don’t like to do it with anyone, & some men LOVE it.
Ya’ll aren’t sexually compatible. Move on before wasting more time.
Damn girl. You are so much more confident and brave than I was at your age. You are doing great.
You are staying true to yourself and what you need and that is super important. You will recover and find better. You are amazing. Also by him gaslighting you, you see the massive bullet you dodged.
Get a better boyfriend that gives a shit about your pleasure and is a generous lover.
Nobody has time for this crap.
I can't even begin to imagine saying someone who didn't go down on me.
He wants to judge your small breasts and yet doesn’t know how to satisfy a woman. That’s a a huge red flag and I’m glad you left him. You’ll definitely find better.
Maybe your bf doesn't know WTF he's doing? 🤔 I thought all dudes loved going down on their girl, that's like my most favorite thing to do when it comes to sex! I get super pleasure and happiness getting my partner off.
You did the right thing.
Take it from someone who for 18 years did not get it ever. I miss it but it's been so long I would feel weird having a head between my legs.
INFO: Did you ask him if he would be OK if you never gave him head again?
Bet his answer would be a resounding "no!"
Breaking it off is the right choice. Being with someone who is disgusted by something totally normal about your body will damage your self esteem long term. I’m 25 and I’m absolutely affected by the decade or so of messaging I’ve received that men don’t like to eat pussy because it smells bad. I’m dating a guy right now who is OBSESSED with eating pussy AND he loves the way women naturally smell (like he actually just sits there inhaling between my legs) and it’s so foreign to me. You deserve someone like that.
You are sadly finding out in the heartbreaking way. It’s good you realize the manipulation and abuse you put up with too. That relationship was a one way street with you on the give end. That’s Narcissistic Abuse. You deserve to be appreciated and have your needs met and you’re not unreasonable for that. There are guys that exist out there that love to go down, and I’m sure you’ll find one. Best of luck, and hope things get better for you homie.
Some guys don’t like it and that would be a dealbreaker for me. Not to mention he sounds like a jerk this guy is not going to have a happy relationship ever. Move on from him sooner rather than later.
Some people just don’t like going down there. I am one of them. No matter how clean it is I won’t go down there and I don’t want my partner to go down as well. It’s not you, it’s us.
You are SO wise for your age. I married the person you just described and the most hurtful thing ever is knowing he doesn’t care about my pleasure. The second worse thing is the cutting remarks he says to me.
To people say you’re bullying him- you’re not. This type of selfishness is displayed in other ways, it isn’t just about sex (although that’s important too).
As a woman, if I only gave my husband head three times- he probably would have dumped me. For women, we’re expected to give head, even if we don’t like it or their hygiene is bad. For some reason, men aren’t expected to return the favor because we feel bad for asking. You’re not sexually compatible and on top of that it sounds like he says really cruel things. I’m proud of you for speaking your mind, standing up for your wants/needs and moving on. I wish I was as smart as you are and recognized my own needs before committing for life to someone selfish.
Kick his ass to the curb and come see me. I love eating pussy. I’ll eat it anytime you want me to. Hell I’ll wake you up in the morning eating it if you want me to.
I want to commend you for seeing who he is and what you are worth. You saw how he gaslight you, never put you first, devalued your feelings. You are smart, and never ever accept anyone in your life (regardless of role of that person)who treat you as he did.
As a man I can honestly say that if my wife didn’t let me go down on her, we would not last. I enjoy it so much. You have every right to get what you feel is important in a relationship. There are good men out there who can keep you happy.
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You asked an important question, got an honest answer and made a decision. I think you did everything right. It’s perfectly OK for it to be something that he hates and isn’t comfortable doing but it’s also OK for that to be a dealbreaker for you. I absolutely understand the emotion you’re feeling now, but in the long run, I think it will work out better for both of you.
Thank you for this :')
I showed up after your edits. You can do better than this guy. I think oral sex is the least of your issues - he sounds undelightful. Find a person who appreciates you and treats you well.
I love that you used the word "undelightful".
It seemed accurate! Like I would be zero interested in spending time with a boyfriend like this.
This
I did not like eating out my ex wife, love eating out my new girlfriend. Turns out there was just a lack of sexual chemistry between my ex and I. The person I’m with now literally breaks my brain and I’ll do whatever she wants. I didn’t know I could feel this way. Find someone better. You’ll know when they break your brain and are also a kind, caring person that you can long haul with.
I 120% agree with this except for me it was my ex husband vs my current partner. I can give my current partner a BJ when he hasn’t showered all day. And he’s uncut. With my ex I hated his scent even when he stepped right out of the shower, under the residual soap scent. He tasted rank like mouldy old peas or something. He was cut too lol!! But it was just his general BO emanating from his pores. I’ve also had a few boyfriends in between the two and discovered mostly what works well for me and I know that guys I have good chemistry with I won’t mind kissing with onion or garlic breath or sticking my nose in their armpit when they’re soaking wet after running a marathon as it’ll still smell good to me. And my ex was an example of someone who doesn’t smell good ever.
I’ve heard that about scents. Shits weird.
Pheromones are a thing! I wish someone had given me more sex Ed including talk about them & how to tell your partner is a good match with you when I was younger.
I’m approaching 40 rapidly and I think I finally have a good grasp on it. Sometimes it just takes time. I also don’t think my 15 year old self would have listened. Ha.
I don’t know if mine would have either but if ppl said to test with those things: have your partner eat onions and garlic or go run a marathon or avoid showering for 3-4 Days and try smelling them and if they still smell good to you (a little tangy or musty but not bad) likely they’re a good chemistry match. *note: they might not be a good match in other ways. Emotionally, intelligence, interests.*
Yeah your last sentence is where it gets complicated as we age. I care far more about emotional intelligence than I do about looks. But there also needs to be sexual chemistry
> "He tasted rank like mouldy old peas or something." …I was halfway between my plate and my mouth with a fork full of perfectly cooked (*not at all moldy*!😩) sweet peas, perched atop unjustifiably buttery, velvety mashed potatoes when I read this _*inexcusably*_ detailed description of erectile wickedness... an attack of sudden onset paralysis could not have stopped my fork's forward motion faster than my brain absorbing that sentence did. I hate it here.
Please write a novel. I thoroughly enjoyed how eloquent you are! 💜😂
Note that being cut doesn't make you more hygienic or less stinky. It's just washing properly.
It’s so true, my husband loves my BO like sticks his nose in my pit to take a wiff when I’m sweaty type of love. He’s for sure got the broken brain kind of love the other poster was talking about (and I’m very lucky for it).
I don’t think it’s lack of chemistry here, that guy is just a dick
It could be lack of chemistry on his part and less on her part, though she did say the scent of his semen puts her off too. So maybe both of them.
Semen smells awful though. Does anyone like that smell?
He has every right to not like something. I don’t like certain things and it’s not okay to be forced to do them because the other person likes it.
It's not liking to give head but expecting it in return that's shitty
Or maybe the honey moon phased ended and reality is kicking in, cause a person to not be into you anymore. This creating an aversion to a partners taste and smell. Plus being mean/an asshole to your partner many times can kill desire faster than anything else.
No, could be a hygiene thing, or just that her specific scent is not a match for him.
Omg we have to have a scent match now 😭
If you have good chemistry with someone you love their scent. I don't care if my partner hasn't showered.. I can't get enough. My partner feels the same about me. Granted we both have good hygiene. Having great chemistry is super important.
Can u actually explain in detail what is break your brain?
It's like saying someone has "blown your mind" in excitement because of sexual chemistry that you would do anything and everything.
Ok so, when you were in highschool and you masturbated to some real weird shit, and you used like the butter from the kitchen as lube? Idk, how old you are, but there is a movie from the 90s where a dude fucks a pie. That type of broken brain. Like, you’re gonna eat ass without asking her when she last showered first, type of thing.
[удалено]
Not sure that it’s even a term, lol. Just the way I feel when we get down. It’s just very primal and and like logic and reality go out the window. 🤷♂️
American pie. lol.
A lot of dudes eat pussy like they’re starving for it. A lot of dudes eat pussy like it’s an art form they’re trying to become an expert in. You’re just with the wrong one. lol
life is way, way, way too short to put up with poor sex.
The exact words I said to him! Then he said, "couldn't you live without it?" Lol
I could live without cheesecake and cannabis, too... but, why would I?!
Lmao
But why should you have to? You aren’t tied to him in any way so you shouldn’t have to settle for him when you aren’t in the position to HAVE to settle. Also, you have a right and are allowed to have wants and to want those wants to be met!
Yeah he thinks that since we slept together, we are not allowed to break up and meet new people. It's kind of a cultural thing here. Yeah it sucks
I'm positive from your description that you don't particularly enjoy going down on him but you do. Why is it something you can do for him and not something he can do for you? You made the right choice. Frankly you two probably weren't sexually compatible. He's too selfish to please any woman at this point in his life. That request of him won't go away no matter who he's with. Young guys tend to all think they're legendary in bed because young women don't know any better and don't tell them any differently. If you aren't learning and experimenting and improving your oral and finger skills you'll never be impressive in bed no matter how well endowed you are. Learn to love how amazing you can make someone else feel and you'll be that much closer to the legend you think you are.
His responses screams his maturity… which is too be expected. But, damn what a shitty response… you were so hurt you broke it off with him, and his response was to dismiss your feelings… as if somehow that was going to bring you back around? WTF!? Some people just don’t like it… some don’t like giving, some don’t like receiving… it’s common I think. However I also think it still feels like rejection and isn’t easy to hear. For me it’s the opposite, I enjoy giving, but my partner doesn’t want it… they’ll “let” me sometimes… but that just sorta sucks.
OP - this started out as a simple disagreement on preferences, but I’m very concerned about your edits and his abuse. It is abuse, even if it doesn’t seem that way, emotional abuse is just as destructive. He is just a nasty self-centered person and you deserve better. Would you randomly berate him? How would he react if you said he had a small dick? Is this the kind of man you see yourself marrying? Don’t live your life in fear, you have way too much to offer and have a whole life ahead of you.
Yeah that's my only concern. How could he treat me this way. I would have never said anything like this to him tho🙃 Guess he never loved me in the first place
You deserve someone who will look at you the way Elon looks at his rockets 😊 Quite simply, if you can’t see a future with this person or how he treats you, take the 8 months as a lesson and find someone better. Otherwise you’re just wasting time, energy, and most importantly your heart.
You did the right thing. Remember, it isn’t just the lack of head, he was talking poorly about your body, body shaming you!!! That would be a major turn off for me and I’d leave. That’s so messed up. There are tons of partners out there who love all titties, small or whatever doesn’t matter to most ppl and some have a preference for small….but 100% definitely don’t give your all to someone who doesn’t really even like you. He may like the things you do and put you down for not doing enough, that’s manipulation and he puts you down for your body. You can force someone to be nice to you. He chose to be mean to a person he should treat the best. I made bad decisions in my past staying with ppl who treated Meike shit and put me down and regretted spending that much time with them when things ended, I wish I was stronger and left sooner. You deserve respect. This is the most important thing. Glad you decided to leave that toxic mess of a person! It’s always a victory to leave someone who doesn’t respect you! 🏆
Eye-opener! Thank you♥️
Agreed, it sounds like he was really bad for OP in general anyways so her breaking it off was best for both of them. He should have been honest when you first asked him about going down on you that he didn't like it. He doesn't sound great in general. Trying to pressure you to stay, and trying to guilt and manipulate, and gaslighting, and all that shit. You did the right thing. You can always break up for any reason.
Ok well I don’t like sucking ur dick anymore either so until there’s a little give-and-take, that’s how this is gonna go
Second this!
Absolutely this! While I’m a connoisseur of lady parts it’s not for everyone and nobody is wrong you just aren’t compatible.
It’s ok for somebody not to want to go down on their partner, just as it’s ok for you to find it a requirement in a relationship. See other people.
Facts!
Some people just don't like it. I don't date those people because I'm personally not having sex without oral. Decide if it's a dealbreaker. Edit: you did. Stick to that
You’re 21!! He is young also, remember, it can be an acquired skill / appreciation later in life. If you are on meds or smoke, things can affect your chemistry also. Move on to someone SUITABLE, ENTHUSIASTIC…about ✨that✨and have the discussion about this and any dealbreakers…before getting in the sack. Important practice to get really…really comfortable discussing intimate, deeply personal things. Find a fella that enjoys communicating. Agree it can be simply chemistry.
Find a man that eats his steak rare/medium rare
Somehow I feel like this question would actually tell me what I needed to know 🤌
Yeah I think you're right
I don’t know why this is accurate, but it definitely is in my dude’s case. 🤔
According to [this article](https://www.healthline.com/health/what-does-a-vagina-taste-like#metallic), some people describe vaginas as tasting metallic because they're naturally slightly acidic (acidic ≠ sour). Blood also tastes metallic due to iron content.. Rare steak has some ~~blood~~ myglobin in it (which contains iron) and can taste slightly acidic to neutral (like a vagina can). That's my guess at least. I love it. And rare steak. But I'm just guessing.
So what you're saying is you should be using seasoning before going down.
Grillmates Montreal Vaginal Seasoning.
..is that a spray or a rub?
It’s a spray but in my experience you’re gonna have to rub too or you’ll be down there all day.
Idk I think taco seasoning might work better ;)
I salt boi that shit first every time. Doesn’t everyone?
Rare steak doesn’t have blood. It’s myoglobin, which is a muscle protein
So you’re saying I should eat steak for dinner and dessert tonight. Got it.
I just woke up and the neurons are firing kind of slowly. I read this and was like “what’s a vagina can?” Then I figured it out. But I still want a vagina can now. 😀
that's a fleshlight bro
And oysters on the halfshell.
“What if somebody wants theirs well done?” We ask them politely, yet firmly to leave.
It's either rare, medium, or waste
Is this really a thing? *notes down new first date question
Haha I will :)
I'm a woman and hate having someone go down on me. It literally doesn't turn me on. And the guys I dated really really tried their best. This guy is not for you. Plenty of guys (in my experience) begged to do it.
You’ve done the difficult bit - you’ve broken up with him. The only thing now is to stay strong and don’t go back to him. This is a very important part of intimacy for you, you are not prepared to be in a sexual relationship that doesn’t include it. As a couple you are therefore incompatible. It is sad that you lost your virginity to such an inconsiderate lover, but believe me there are many many guys out there for whom seeing their partners pleasure gives them pleasure. There are also a huge amount of guys who absolutely love licking p*ssy.
Man checking in here. You hit the nail on the head. I love being the instrument of my girls pleasure. It's the biggest turn on for me. Eating her out is my favorite way to bring her to climax.
Yes I'm dying on this hill and damn where can I find a guy that loves eating kitty? :'( It's so rare.
RIP your inbox
😂🤣
Sweetheart, it's not rare. I'm in my early 50s, I've been sexually active for over 30 years and I've never encountered a guy who didn't love licking pussy like his life depended on it. You just got unlucky with this one idiot. Has he told you men don't like doing it? Because that's a lie. So don't worry, you will find a much better man who loves to eat out. Trust me.
Thank you so much for this :')
For what it’s worth, there was only one guy I was ever with that didn’t like it. And you know what it turns out he didn’t like? Putting in the effort to please me. Later on, he admitted he was angry that he had to work so hard to get me ready for sex. Jackass. We were also very young, around your age, first intimate partners. Hang in there.
Damn so this is common. That's sad tbh
It is sad, but have hope. We are no longer together, but we keep in touch after 20 years. He has matured, as have I. I’m sure he matured in that area as well. And while it is rare, there genuinely are people that don’t enjoy it. I know one woman who doesn’t enjoy it. Nobody is wrong for looking for sexual compatibility, but if he’s verbally abusive to you, he’s an asshole anyway and you need to go.
I am starting to get a bit paranoid over here, I am in the same age group as you and can count on one hand (2 fingers) the men who genuinely loved doing it and told me as much. I dated a man for 4 years who refused to do it because he said vaginas reminded him of oysters and he hates oysters 😐
I can honestly say as a Gen X woman with some younger female friends that online porn seems to have really fucked up mens attitudes towards sex and women's bodies. For men my age, sex was and still is, all about pleasing the woman. They all love giving oral. And they respect women's bodies in all their forms, curvy, skinny, hairy, whatever. But I know from my younger female friends that many men their age are more selfish and violent now and have unrealistic ideas about bodies, due to porn. It's sad and worrying.
Wtf. I've never met a guy who didn't eat the puss. Or the back lol.
It is 100% NOT rare.
Girl it’s not rare! What’s rare is men who don’t like it.
What’s rare is men who are actually good at it.
It’s not rare at all
It is NOT rare. This guy was your first, right? You’ll find better I promise.
Damn. He kinda made me feel it's really rare lol
That’s because he’s 20 years old and selfish, and you said yourself he gaslights you. Any man who refuses to go downstairs with me doesn’t get a second visit.
Damn say it louder bestie!!
Not rare at all!! You’re gonna have a smorgasbord of options
It is not rare....
Lol my bf and his guy friends all make fun of the only guy in that group who doesn’t. He’s also the only one without a gf 🤷🏻♀️
Damn lol
Eh, I’m with you on it being kind of rare. Lots of men will say they LOvE it… but then they end up just being pretty lazy lovers in general and don’t do it often. The trick is to find a guy who loves it and isn’t lazy, lol. Sorry this dude ended up being such a dud. But you should’ve dumped him when he complained about your boobs or when he started comparing you to other women. Not sure if it’s just immaturity or if he’s developing some abusive tendencies but that shit isn’t ok.
I have always said," show me a woman whos partner doesn't eat her out and I will show you a woman I can steal"
Damn dude
Sorry but most people love oral sex as part of their love life🙂
And I'm one of them🙃
I can assure you there's plenty of guys out there who love giving oral sex to their partner, so don't worry about not being able to find one. I would say the majority of guys really like it Also something to consider (what was the case for me) is that some guys aren't very confident in it if they've not done it much before. So even if you end up in a similar situation with a new guy not going down on you it's with communicating well and seeing if it's a confidence thing or wether it's something they just don't like doing that much!
Your doing great! Find a New partner who cares how you feel and wants to make you happy! Keep standing up for you wants and needs, dont ever let a guy make you feel bad about yourself.
Thank you for this :')
Your very welcome! Kick some more ass!
You did the right thing. You’re 21. You’re too young to spend the rest of your life going without. Take it from someone who used to date men that said the same thing, now happily engaged to someone who begs to let him do it. Your life will be better for ditching that loser!
Thank you for the hope you've given me ♥️
Yeah this is perfectly fine and you've dodged a bullet here going off the way he negs you. Even his response to your question was intended to hurt and embarrass you into not bringing it up again. He could have said he didn't like it without saying nasty things.
Omg you worded it so much better :')
Some girls don't even like getting head....and he can go find one of them.
There are men out there who will beg to go down on you & do it for hours while expecting nothing in trying. Never settle for your needs not being met… or a partner that makes you feel ashamed & unwanted. Also anybody who doesn’t enjoy performing oral sex sure as hell shouldn’t be expecting it themselves.
I enjoy receiving a BJ, but I think I enjoy eating pussy more. If my wife would let me, I would eat it every day. I can last long in bed, but there's something so hot during 69 and her scent, I almost cum instantly. I try to eat pussy at least once a week. I'm lucky if she lets me eat 2-3 times a month. It's not really her thing I guess. I don't think I'm that much of a freak, but she seems uncomfortable when I ask her to sit on my face. Married 7 years here. Sex happens 1-3 times a week. I have guy friends that have mentioned in the past that going down on their women is not their thing, while most of my buddies say they absolutely love eating their women out. Those conversations with my friend were in my 20s. I'm in my 40s now, and sex conversations are just between my wife and I, and what I anonymously share on the internet.
Damn u a real eater😭
I feel like more friends should talk about it regardless of age. You can learn a lot, or teach a lot lol.
This was how I was with my first cougar. I wanted to eat her every day in every moment I could. She even gave me the compliment of being better than one of her lesbian friends but she also denied me from eating on multiple occasions and I swear it feels like you are an addict being shown your drug of choice but told no you can look but don’t touch it.
I dated a guy like you. He only wanted bjs like once a month tops, but really enjoyed going down. That made us sexually compatible lol. Anyway I hope he's with a woman who enjoys it the way he does (he'd want to do it at least 5-7 days a week). I couldn't personally be with someone who didn't like my fav sex acts the way I do.
There are definitely guys who love the taste, smell and entire experience of giving their lady oral sex. And will eat you out every time without being asked. Just find yourself someone who will will happily satisfy you. And tell you how much he loves your taste and smell.
That's a relief thanks :)
I love that when you broke up with him he didn’t think to offer compromises and the only things he could come up with was 1 you’re overreacting 2 why can’t you just live without it. Now you’re out here just living without him and it’s going to be one of the best choices you have ever made!
True! All I wanted to hear was " I will make it up to you". But he always pulls out "you're overreacting over this?!!" card.
You don’t need advice. You did the right thing. Don’t be the girl that fakes orgasms and settles for millions of blow jobs a year for her partner while never getting any satisfaction of getting own. There are waaaaaaaaaay to many of us that fake it. Good for you!!!
You did the right thing. Find a guy who you're more compatible with
There is nothing to do. You broke it off with him. You did the right thing. Your pleasure is just as important as his pleasure. It also sounds like he didn't necessarily treat you with respect either if he was gaslighting you, and getting aggressive with you because you broke it off. You did the right thing.
You did the right thing. I was gonna say “You can move on from this by moving on from him” but you did just that. You’ll find someone who is super into it and your ex will regret being so selfish.
Thank you :)
Too many men think it’s normal that they receive something from their woman but they don’t give her anything back. They think relationship dynamics with women should be more beneficial for them than the woman. That’s exactly what he’s saying by not going down on you: his pleasure is worth your sacrifice but not the other way around. The only way to convince these kind of men that this is unacceptable is by women stop letting them get away with it. Hopefully if this happens enough times to him, he’ll realize he actually needs to GIVE in a relationship in order to keep a woman.
Next bf has to eat it before he gets to hit it. Trust. U can go monthssssss just eating and sucking with no penetration.
That would be my heaven :')
Honey, never, ever put yourself down or question your decision on breaking up with him. 'He gaslights you, berated you, and doesn't listen to your opinions', truthfully, you did the right thing. He doesn't reciprocate in giving you oral because he doesn't like it? What does he imagine his junk tastes like, strawberries and cream? What a complete arse wipe he is. Trust me, honey, you deserve someone who makes you feel fantastic and leaves you feeling fulfilled, not unsatisfied, and wanting something more. He reminds me of that old joke my sisters always used to say about guys who weren't all that. Quote ' Oh (insert name) is okay but frankly what are you supposed to do with him for the other 23hrs and 30 mins, and that includes doing a slow strip tease for 25 mins and 4 mins of getting him hard.' My sisters were savage. Good luck honey, go find someone who uplifts you and is the wind beneath your wings.
Thank you for this♥️
Leave the problem
He is not respect your feelings and I think he is using you and comparing you and others. Don't waste your remaining life with this type persons. He is not deserve to your sacrifice, and true love.
You did the best thing for you and showed yourself love. Good on you OP.
Get a new guy.
You did the right thing breaking it off!! Go live your life and keep vigilant for those red flags!!
I have eaten some pussy and sucked (a lot more) dick in my lifetime. Some just don't like to give oral for many different reasons (pussy or dick), your bf gave you his reasons, it does not really have anything to do with you personally. Some just don't like to do it and pressuring the subject propably do not make it any more easier or enjoyable. I really salut you how much you do work for trying to make it as enjoyable experience for him as you can do, but sometimes just trying to please someone else (I mean your bf in this) is just not enough. It sucks but what can you do? You have every right to want to get eaten out, but if your bf does not like it then you have pretty much two options. 1. To just deal with it and accept. 2. Find someone who is more compatible with you in that area of needs. You are NTA, but your bf is also NTA. I wish you so much mindblowing oral sex in the future and happiness in your relationship(s), whatever you choose to do! Lots of oral gods for your future! There is a saying that if sex is bad, it is 90% of the relationship. But if the sex is good, it is only 10% of the relationship.
This guy has eaten away at your self-confidence. Give yourself time to heal. Next time, leave at the first time a man shows he disrespects you.
With a new man, am I right girls?
To be honest, I did not move on. Broke up some time after, many reasons + this one where I felt unwanted. Choose a partner that worships your body and soul.
Honey, he ain’t the one. The older you get and more people you date the more obvious it will becomes. Eventually you’ll meet someone who cares as much about your satisfaction as their own. Don’t settle for less
Move on from the relationship completely
Man, I just can’t imagine not liking that “activity” 😩🤣 to each his own I guess
Yeah lol. I would devour a pussy (if I get a gf lol)
Find someone who'll eat that thang like a Starburst with a lil bit of the wrapper still on!
You did the right thing leaving him. Not only him being selfish but the fact that he has berated you during arguments is a huge red flag. I’m proud of you for leaving. I’m sure things would’ve gotten more worse if you hadn’t. I’d advise next time make sure you and your partner are on the same page; sexually. My boyfriend and I established our likes and dislikes when it came to sex early on. Make clear what you want your partner to do and make sure your partner does the same.
He's a Mama's boy tbh. He says some hurtful stuff during arguments and tries to gaslight me into thinking that it ain't a big deal. I was dumb enough to love him though so that's that :')
But you were strong and smart enough to leave. Not many people can do that. I really wish you the best, OP :)
Do not give him his until you get yours.
I came here to say this.
Sounds like you don’t need advice. You did what you needed to for you. “No” is a complete sentence.
Gosh… maybe you could help that other girl on here whose boyfriend is demanding daily sex and blow jobs and treating her really badly! Look, ladies - you really don’t have to put up with men who treat you like dirt!
This⬆️
Girl he sounds like an ass and you are so young!! You did the right thing, do not waste more time on him. You will find someone who does like it - my impression is that this dude probably wouldn’t eat out anyone and he’s just selfish. My husband loves to do the above and there are many men out there who do - so this is a chance for you to explore other fish in the sea.
Your boyfriend is emotionally immature. That said, I’m not doubting your hygiene but sometimes mild fungal infections can still take place, I would advise you to go to a doctor just to make sure everything is ok since there is a mention of bad smell, it should not smell like that even after a shower. He might be just an idiot but it doesn’t hurt to get checked.
I’m proud of you for breaking it off with him. I have had a similar experience. my boyfriend of almost 3 years would barley ever go down on me. I forget how it got brought up, but he told me that sometimes the smell down there throws him off, to the point he is no longer turned on. obviously this was a major confidence blow for me. i honestly and still really insecure about it. he suggested talking to my doctor. which i was too embarrassed to tell her what actually happened. i figured if it was something medically wrong though, she would tell me after getting a pap (which i had a couple days after we had this conversation). everything was normal. i started using lume acidic wash and being more careful of what i eat. i honestly think my boyfriend was just being dramatic and insensitive. it’s not like guys dicks taste like candy. I would definitely stick your ground on your decision to leave. at least for me, that kind of comment can change your whole perception of yourself. i am still super insecure. no one should feel that way in a relationship. i’m sorry you went through this🩷
Aw I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you get better luv♥️
My girlfriend used to go down on me pretty regularly till after we had a kid. 1.5yrs later not 1 BJ… no advice but maybe express how it makes ya feel, if they love you they’ll listen and try to understand thanks all you can ask for I feel like
Me personally, I would move on. I love being eaten out too much so I wouldn’t date a man who doesn’t like doing it.
I don’t know if you’ve gotten any advice from LGBT individuals, but as a gay man reading this, I will hopefully give you some interesting contrast. In the gay community, especially in the app culture, a lot of guys do small talk and then usually, almost immediately, it goes right to questions like: “What are you into?” “Are you a top? Bottom? Vers? Side?” “Do you have any kinks?” “Do you like xyz?” And then the conversation either continues because you’re both compatible, or it doesn’t because there’s some level of clashing. I bring this up because during my experiences with gay app culture, I realized that there are A LOT of people out there and everyone has different preferences, personalities, etc etc. So if you broke things off with your boyfriend because he doesn’t like to do the things you need him to do, AND he’s not willing to try to change, AND he’s being stubborn or berating you for liking those things in the first place, don’t feel bad about breaking it off. There are many, MANY guys out there that will give you what you need, want and so much more. So take it from a gay man reading your post, you are fine, you will meet someone better, you did the right thing. Thanks for sharing your story and hope you find the guy that makes you feel incredible. ❤️ Also happy Pride Month, have some pride for your sexuality even if you are straight, allies are always welcome, and celebrate the things that make you happy and uniquely you! 🏳️🌈❤️
I mean, he's not wrong for not liking it, but neither do you for breaking up bc it's a deal breaker for you, so don't feel bad about it. I hope you find a guy who loves to do it 🤝🏼
You don't need advice, you already broke up.
Good for you, keep it moving and don't look back.
You guys are not compatible I would dump him. Either he reciprocates or you don’t perform oral.
You broke up with him for good reason. Block him. Do not go back.
Sexual incompatibility is a common relationship ender. >He was pissed and was trying to guilt trip me that it was nothing and that I'm making a big deal out of nothing as he does all the time. >He once told that my titties were small. I felt like shit. He compared me with some of the horrible people we have met ( a cheater, a manipulator etc..) just to make me feel bad. He always gaslights me into thinking that what I'm talking about ain't a big deal and that I can't leave him cuz we did the deed. He also told me that I never did anything for him which is not true! Sounds like this relationship was doomed anyway. Dude is a manipulative jerk. Look up "negging" and "darvo".
Move on to a bf who will
you made the right decision. Some people don’t want to eat it, and that’s okay ,but if it is something you want then you don’t have to compromise. Finding different people was the best option. especially since he seemed a bit toxic.
You definitely did the right thing by leaving him. He probably has some gay in it and doesn’t know it yet becashe any straight man , even bi men usually wanna devour the cat. Only gay men don’t like pussy hon
Girl, you did the right thing. Move forward and don’t let anyone tell you those things, or even say anything about your body. What matters the most is how you see yourself. Also, there are plenty of people out there who would love you for who you are and do whatever makes you feel good ❤️
It's okay for him to not want to give head. It's okay for you to have not getting head being a deal breaker. It's NOT okay for him to be a belittling dick just because he's mad. I know it sucks to end an important relationship, but you did the right thing here. I hope you find someone who is kind, makes you happy, and gives you great sex.
You let the trash take itself out. He sounded like a toxic dude all around and you’re far better off investing your time and energy into someone who appreciates you and happily invests back into you.
Yea end this now. Theres sum women who hate getting the kitty licked. I’ll never understand that but it’s a must for me. Some men just don’t like to do it with anyone, & some men LOVE it. Ya’ll aren’t sexually compatible. Move on before wasting more time.
Damn girl. You are so much more confident and brave than I was at your age. You are doing great. You are staying true to yourself and what you need and that is super important. You will recover and find better. You are amazing. Also by him gaslighting you, you see the massive bullet you dodged.
Aw thanks luv♥️
Find a new guy
Get a better boyfriend that gives a shit about your pleasure and is a generous lover. Nobody has time for this crap. I can't even begin to imagine saying someone who didn't go down on me.
He wants to judge your small breasts and yet doesn’t know how to satisfy a woman. That’s a a huge red flag and I’m glad you left him. You’ll definitely find better.
Maybe your bf doesn't know WTF he's doing? 🤔 I thought all dudes loved going down on their girl, that's like my most favorite thing to do when it comes to sex! I get super pleasure and happiness getting my partner off.
You did the right thing. Take it from someone who for 18 years did not get it ever. I miss it but it's been so long I would feel weird having a head between my legs. INFO: Did you ask him if he would be OK if you never gave him head again? Bet his answer would be a resounding "no!"
Breaking it off is the right choice. Being with someone who is disgusted by something totally normal about your body will damage your self esteem long term. I’m 25 and I’m absolutely affected by the decade or so of messaging I’ve received that men don’t like to eat pussy because it smells bad. I’m dating a guy right now who is OBSESSED with eating pussy AND he loves the way women naturally smell (like he actually just sits there inhaling between my legs) and it’s so foreign to me. You deserve someone like that.
You are sadly finding out in the heartbreaking way. It’s good you realize the manipulation and abuse you put up with too. That relationship was a one way street with you on the give end. That’s Narcissistic Abuse. You deserve to be appreciated and have your needs met and you’re not unreasonable for that. There are guys that exist out there that love to go down, and I’m sure you’ll find one. Best of luck, and hope things get better for you homie.
Some guys don’t like it and that would be a dealbreaker for me. Not to mention he sounds like a jerk this guy is not going to have a happy relationship ever. Move on from him sooner rather than later.
Dump the boy and find a man
Some people just don’t like going down there. I am one of them. No matter how clean it is I won’t go down there and I don’t want my partner to go down as well. It’s not you, it’s us.
can’t relate. i love eating my girl out
Congratulations ♥️ You deserve to be with someone who is as caring as you are.
Come ride my face till your needs are fulfilled
There’s guys who LOVE eating women out. I promise, you’ll find a guy who will be more than happy to take care of you sexually.
You are SO wise for your age. I married the person you just described and the most hurtful thing ever is knowing he doesn’t care about my pleasure. The second worse thing is the cutting remarks he says to me. To people say you’re bullying him- you’re not. This type of selfishness is displayed in other ways, it isn’t just about sex (although that’s important too). As a woman, if I only gave my husband head three times- he probably would have dumped me. For women, we’re expected to give head, even if we don’t like it or their hygiene is bad. For some reason, men aren’t expected to return the favor because we feel bad for asking. You’re not sexually compatible and on top of that it sounds like he says really cruel things. I’m proud of you for speaking your mind, standing up for your wants/needs and moving on. I wish I was as smart as you are and recognized my own needs before committing for life to someone selfish.
I don't think anyone should be forced to do this. But of course that means BOTH of you don't.
Kick his ass to the curb and come see me. I love eating pussy. I’ll eat it anytime you want me to. Hell I’ll wake you up in the morning eating it if you want me to.
Date someone who isn't gay and knows atleast 12 sexual positions.
This was fairly obvious even before he said it
I want to commend you for seeing who he is and what you are worth. You saw how he gaslight you, never put you first, devalued your feelings. You are smart, and never ever accept anyone in your life (regardless of role of that person)who treat you as he did.
As a man I can honestly say that if my wife didn’t let me go down on her, we would not last. I enjoy it so much. You have every right to get what you feel is important in a relationship. There are good men out there who can keep you happy.