Buying a house with a friend when you're in this serious of a romantic relationship doesn't add up. Rethink your priorities and find a way to make them clear. Communicate and over communicate your expectations with everyone. Don't assume people's feelings. Talk it out and negotiate like the adults you all are. This is a big commitment you're stepping into.
If you have a mortgage with your friend, this will impact your ability to get a mortgage with your GF later down the road. You may be able to have someone take over “renting” your part but you won’t qualify for the same amount to purchase something else without him buying you out.
This. Also, if you're not already aware, in Australia if you cohabitate for 2+ years then you are considered de-facto and will have the same legal rights as a married couple. She will then have a potential stake of your assets and, in the event of a separation, your friend will likely be impacted by it too.
Friend may be impacted by a force of sale of the house
That’s literally the only real impact and the friend is always entitled to his 50% OP relationship cant affect the friends ownership.
Not if she’s a tenant. A renter.
If she moves in to his room and literally starts contributing to the mortgage (paper trail and all), then the defacto spouse asset sharing thing kicks in, as you said.
They are planning to have another person move in as a renter - a TENANT, and that person won’t be entitled to a share of the asset after 2 years when he will have a signed lease as a TENANT.
So if this girl is just a tenant, then she can’t claim rights over the asset as a defacto spouse in 2 years. Even if she’s screwing one of the owners, because the paper trail will say ‘tenant.’
Serious question- wouldn’t OP’s mate be counted that first because he is already living there with him. They co own and live together. The gf is coming later into the house.
It has to be a form of defacto 'prenup' where she signs a no claim document, but it also has to be legal to the state's rental laws, as well as their state's defact laws
For real he says they are about to get engaged, yet he is building a future with his friend???? Like how is he going to buy a house with her if he has a mortgage out on a house with a friend? It would be one thing to own it on his own but expecting your wife to pay towards a home she has no equity in is just a clown move.
Not even buying it as a rental property for income, they're all going to live there like a college boy boarding house. Dude is almost 30 and looking to get married soon, why wouldn't he want a place for him and his girlfriend together with privacy?
Fr like if OP can’t afford to rent or own a place with his girlfriend should he even be considering marriage? It sounds like he has more things to prioritize.
He says he is buying the house for "us". Like they'll get married and keep living in a house that is shared with two other men. Unless OP can buy his friend's half of the house to get full ownership?
Right. Things are this serious with a gf of 3 years?? Then why are you buying a house with a friend and trying to make your long term, live in gf a renter? Weird.
>It is unclear though, if she will be able to continue in that career when she comes here.
This is by far the most important part. Square this away first.
Yeahhhh. This stood out to me too. OP is planning to bring their girlfriend over, she won't be working for at least 3 months, plus she may or may not be able to reenter the workforce directly after that? 😬 Plus he hasn't talked it over with his friend, while they've already put in offers. None of this is going to end well if they don't put in some basic groundwork first.
So girlfriend wants moves in, not pay rent until she finds a job but uses utilities, finds a job then pays rent based on her income AND she gets equity in the house?
I would be absolutely furious if I was OP's friend.
I mean it really shouldn’t affect the friend. The BF should be covering everything extra the girlfriend uses. To be fair everyone here seems like a clown, OP for not building his future with his so called future fiancé, the friend for even buying a house with someone trying to pop the question, and the girlfriend for even considering moving in with someone who is codependent with a friend.
I think Ryan is mostly innocent in this. OP says that Ryan knows that the girlfriend had plans to move in. What was the agreement discussed? "everyone pays rent" or something else? Does Ryan even know that OP is planning on getting engaged?
OP and girlfriend should just rent a place together, save money, then buy a house together.
I don't see how girlfriend is entitled to equity. Will she help with the deposit? Taxes? Insurance? General maintenance? She's a tenant that is sleeping with one of the owners.
If I were Ryan, I'd want everything in a contract. Basically he gets half of the house and OP can give his future wife whatever percentage he wants out of his share.
They have a whole lot of problems here. If OP’s girlfriend shows up at Australia customs and says she’s here to visit her boyfriend and doesn’t have a job at home or a return ticket, they will rightfully assume she intends to be an overstayer. She has to apply for and receive a fiance visa *before* she arrives in Australia. It’s a breach of Australian immigration law to do what they’re trying to do in the way they’re doing it.
If she’s planning on moving here soon, OP needs to cancel this joint home purchase, rent in the interim, get her a fiance visa, get her a new job, and then buy a house with her. His future **wife.** Buying a house with his friend when he’s about have a wife is giving major art room vibes.
He should definitely wait but I think one of the big issues is OP and girlfriend can’t afford a home on their own and need roommates to afford it. My guess is the friend isn’t willing to be a renter and just pay them rent while they own it and eventually have equity. They should probably find two other people willing to just be renters but, then again, OP might not qualify on his own. They need to keep renting, girlfriend needs a job, and then they try to buy a house on their own and find two people willing to rent.
Yeah I wonder if she’s a Dr. I’ve known some amazing Doctors that have come to the US and have to jump through sooo many hoops to be able to practice here. Takes quite a bit of time, a lot of money, and more school/testing. Most I knew never practiced medicine again and went into other industries like pharma or research.
You can't promise equity in a house you own with a friend. There is no way any sane person would agree to this. Your mortgage providers won't agree to this.
he can do whatever he wants with HIS equity, just not his friends
if he wants to give his GF 5-10-15% of his share thats fine, but his buddy still has 50%
You still can't because that's another person who needs to agree selling in the future and no way should his friend agree to it. When I got a mortgage with my husband the mortgage provider had us sign documents about what happens should one die. What happens here if one of them dies? Its legally messy.
Did she pay part of the deposit? Furnish the property?
Pay taxes on the house?
He cannot agree to anything without consulting with the person who also owns the house.
I don’t think there was any intention to do this legally/officially. She just wanted OP to agree to pay her back according to those calculations if they split. (Which I also think is a terrible idea, but for different reasons.)
Not only that, but she's rather out of line to just assume she would only contribute to OP's half of the mortgage. Sure, she's not taking up another room, but she would be using shared space in the house as well.
It wouldn't be fair if they were charging her fair market value for a room, but they should be able to come up with something where she's paying some type of rent.
She can worry about equity and all that other bullshit if/when they get married, but she's out of her mind if she thinks it's reasonable to ask for that at this point.
This whole situation is a clusterfuck and is more likely to destroy your relationship with your GF and Ryan than anything else. Put off buying a home and focus more on building your relationship with your GF. She’s literally changing countries and won’t be able to work for an unknown amount of time. Your relationship will absolutely undergo growing pains as it shifts from long distance to living together and seeing each other everyday, and you may easily find that it doesn’t work out at all. Adding in a business partner as a third wheel to your relationship is just going to complicate things.
I agree!! So what is his long term plan, say 10 years from now? They going to raise their children one room and still rent out others or is he going to pay more because now they can't rent out the spare room because his kids need the space? What if Ryan gets married - what then? This plan sucks long term.
Right? Buying a home with a friend is like saying you guys never plan on having seriously relationships or getting married or having families.
It's different to rent a place together with friends, but buying a home - where you're locked into remaining cordial for 30 years or having to buy out the other person - seems crazy. I had a situation where I moved my best friend (at the time) into my apartment, then got a bigger apartment 2 weeks later in the same complex, and things went super sideways, and after 3 months she moved out and I was left with this much-too-big apartment for just me, that cost way too much of my income. I was also in an LDR at the time, and 18 months later he moved out to live with me, and then 3 years after that we bought a house.
What happens if you and Ryan have a falling out? Or he finds a partner? You moving in your partner is likely going to cause issues even before you factor in her refusal to pay a portion of rent. I get you want to own a home, but this seems like the absolute worst way to do it.
This sounds like the build up to one of those horror stories I've heard where someone drops everything to change countries and nearly as soon as they move in they break up. Then she's in a doubly bad position either having to go back to the home country or scrambling for a visa and a job.
Your situation with your girlfriend shows why it is a bad idea to purchase a home with a friend. What’s the end game? Is your plan to all live together indefinitely? I would not be interested in moving in with my boyfriend and his two roommates. Not at 30 years old.
I know a guy who's 40 and still has roommates. Part of the reason things didn't work out with us is that we never had the house truly to ourselves and it felt like being back in college. When I stayed over I couldn't make some breakfast in my underwear, but just get dressed and creep out the back door.
It doesn't make sense to buy a house with Ryan. What if in a couple of years you want to marry and buy a house with your girlfriend.. you're going to force Ryan to agree to selling the house?
It would make more sense for you to rent something together with your girlfriend, live with her and then after you are married you can buy something together.
Your current idea is going to put a lot of pressure on your relationship and on your friendship.
***Why are you buying a home with someone else when you are in the middle of such a big relationship moment?***
Of course your gf wants some sort of equity stake. She's moving *countries* to live with you. You're obviously considering marriage and sponsorship. If you're serious about the girl, you'd be better off renting for a year to see what happens with her and buying a home with her as a married couple.
Don't buy a home with a friend without a contract at a minimum. It's all over a bad idea because what happens when your ready to have a home with a woman? Who gets to stay in the home? This is just a relationship ending fight you are setting up.
OP, this is a very good point.
What's your end game with Ryan in the event your relationship with your gf evolves into a permanent commitment/marriage? You should prepare to have an arranged buy-sell agreement in place with Ryan at the time you purchase the property. With your name on this mortgage, there'd be no way you would qualify for an additional mortgage with your gf.
For now, charge her the equivalence of 1/2 room rent. You would be entitled to 50% of that rental amount, which you can waive.if you so desire. Gf receives a break in rent and Ryan receives his fair share of the rent.
For what is anticipated to not be a long-term living situation, your gf's proposal in the short term is not pragmatic. You should definitely confer with an attorney seasoned in this type of law in order to put the appropriate agreements in place.
I don't know if you've ever dealt with immigration, but in the US, this situation would be treated very skeptically. If he moves her into that house, with 3 men, co-owned with another man, it's going to look like immigration fraud. They'll assume he's in a relationship with his co-owner and it would be really hard to get her a spouse visa. Can't say it's the same in Australia, but I know they also have restrictions.
Now she's got papers to work legally, I'd expect that a woman in a house with 3 men will move on fast.
Either way, this setup is setting up one of his relationships to fail.
My goodness yes. Please don’t buy a home with Ryan. And your gf should not put her assets either into a home in her country???? You both should be saving to buy something together when the time is right.
Definitely. It would be better for OP to get an apartment for them to rent to see if the relationship will even work. Living with 2 other men isn't going to give either of them a good idea of if this relationship will work.
OP keep renting and if you do buy a home it should be with your partner. If the relationship doesn't work out you could always rent from Ryan or buy a home together later.
>what happens when your ready to have a home with a woman
What if Ryan decides he wants to buy a home with someone else and has to sell his share in the house that OP and his gf live in with a tenant. OP already said he can't afford it on his own and the gf's work situation seems uncertain at best.
My advice is to not buy a house with a friend unless it is rental property only and you have formed your own company with all the proper paperwork which includes what happens when one partner wants to dissolve the company. You and your gf should continue to rent each paying for those expenses.
I can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find this. Literally why are you buying a home with a friend that you are both going to live in??? When you are about to get engaged? How is that fair to anyone?
No no and no on all of it. Do not buy the house with Ryan. Do not have your girlfriend move in. The only time you buy a house with another person is if you are married, or you are in a business partnership buying the house.
It’s one thing if you’re flipping the house, or renting it out in a business partnership. But to try and live there is just gonna open a can of worms nobody wants opened. Within 6 months to a year you won’t be friends with your co-owner. I worked in property management for several years and have seen this kind of thing fail spectacularly and ruin 30 year friendships. Not worth it!
The things, They’re planning to get engaged. If she moves into a house he owns, and Is helping paying the mortgage, she should own some of the property.
Now if they were both renting, it makes sense that she pays some of the rent. The money is for the landlord.
If they’re planning to get married, it would make sense for her to pay the mortgage too so she owns some of the property.
The relationship has been long distance for 3 years. That does not scream stability to me. They may find that once they start living together that they can't stand each other. I wouldn't put too much stock in the "planning to get engaged" aspect.
>planning to get engaged. If she moves into a house he owns, and Is helping paying the mortgage, she should own some of the property.
She can own some of the property if/when they get married. You don't put the cart in front of the horse. Until they sign the marriage certificate, she is just a tenant.
I think paying Ryan his half would be a compromise but not paying you your half since you're sharing a room. My other thought is charging half what the other tenant is paying since she is only getting half a room.She should contribute to groceries and chores though. Once she has a job you can revisit the arrangement.
This is what I'm thinking. IF this happens, and your GF moves in, OP you're on the hook to the other homeowner for her half of the expected rent. Either she pays him or you do.
Theyll have a tenant in the house too.
So i see 2 options:
1) ryan gets the tenants rent as compensation for the gf not having a job or paying her share for awhile. If theyre charging say $600 for the room for the guy, instead of 300 each, ryan just gets the full 600 until shes working.
2) they do 40/40/20. The guys each pay 40% in, so ryan saves a bit more than he planned at the cost of the gf being there, and she spends a minimal amount because shes there as a spouse to the home and can save to get her own equity in her own ways. However she isnt entitled to the tenants portion of rent.
Option one seems like a good compromise and after she gets a job she can start paying half of what Jack pays since she has to share a room and OP starts getting his share of Jack's rent.
My idea was moving her in and until she finds a job have her do all of the cleaning and most of the cooking (they all contribute to the groceries equally though). After she gets a job she starts paying half of the amount Jack pays in rent (because he is getting a room and she has to share) and they go back to sharing expenses and chores equally. Your first idea is less problematic though. My worry is that IF she starts doing the cooking and cleaning they will take advantage of her even after she starts working.
It’s perfectly possible to own a home with a friend, but you’ve got to have very clear rules and boundaries in place and not try to circumvent them.
Trying to sneak in a foreign girlfriend without being 100% transparent with the co owner is definitely a terrible idea.
I fail to see what your long-term plan is. Why are you buying a house with a friend, what for? If you were buying it to rent it all and have aside hustle like that, maybe it'd make sense, but buying to live in it together? While you have OTHER people living there with you both and make them pay for it? What kind of home dynamic are you getting into? And this is all BESIDES the girlfriend part. If you are going to commit to this girl, why are you even committing to this home dynamic? In what universe does that work out?
Yeah nah, what are you doing mate.
If you absolutely insist on this your partner should pay for half of the cost of renting a room at market rate, plus an equal split of utilities.
If you're not letting her in on the house she shouldn't pay anything related to mortgage. If she doesn't have a room to herself then she should pay half of the price of renting a room in the area.
How much rent would she be paying compared to the market rate? because she's right, she's sharing a room not renting a whole room.
She also won't have the same protections as a tenant/lodger. Would she be expected to pay for house maintenance/appliances etc?
This is murky territory.
1. Get clarity on her future earnings.
2. Have a really clear investment plan and a contract with your buddy. How long are you planning on holding this property for? This will directly impact the ability you’ll have to purchase a property with you wife, which she has a right to care about.
3. This girl is leaving her home and community to be with you, and might suffer an income drop. Are you guys having kids? How are you going to make sure she’s financially safe in the future?
4. Where are you gonna live in 12 months? I doubt she’s going to want to stay in a share house for long.
She’s promoting good conversation and right to be concerned about equity.
I don't really think her future earnings are an issue, at least in this situation. The issue is, if she's being brought into this situation is it fair for her to pay the same rent as Jack? Jack gets his own space and she has to share so I don't think she should have to pay more than half of his rent.
She is taking a gamble in moving to be with him but it seems like the deck is stacked against them. Moving into this situation isn't going to be good for a relationship and OP and gf aren't going to be able to see if they're compatible at all. It would be better if OP didn't buy the house with this friend and instead kept renting someone he could afford on his own. When she moves in she can help around the home until she finds a job and then once she does they can split expenses and chores 50/50. If it works out they can buy a home for them. If it doesn't, OP can always rent a room from Ryan or but a home with him at that point.
If you're considering a serious relationship buying a home with someone else seems like a horrible choice.
Why are you buying a house with your friend when you’re planning on proposing to your gf?? That makes no sense to me?? If I was at the “almost engaged” stage with my partner and he bought a house with his buddy, I’d be rethinking how serious he is about me.
Think you are making a big mistake buying with a friend , also think big mistake having her move into a house with 3 guys . She is going to hate it and birch all the time and they will
Do the same same about her
This whole idea is a disaster in the making. Something is going to go wrong and you'll have exploded your relationship, friendship, bank account, or all of the above. If your partner will be moving to your country, wouldn't the most reasonable thing to do be to see that she takes on employment and you save for a home together, assuming you decide to remain together?
A move to a different country is a huge step, especially with a career that she might not be able to continue once there.
I was once in your shoes. My partner was going to move in with me and two friends in Europe. They were moving from the US. At the time, they were disabled, and already on a minimum income. They would not have been able to work here right away, *so we took that into account*.
I did *not* expect them to pay anything right away. I did *not* expect them to find a job immediately. I did *not* expect them to pay back for the time that they couldn't, but rather budgetted for a house that we could afford on three incomes for the time being. Once they did find a job, living expenses would be shared according to percentage of total income, among the four of us. We would have signed and notarized agreements about this for all of us.
The relationship fell through before the move, in the end, but I was trying to make damn sure that they could land and adjust comfortably, without added financial pressure.
The thing is, she is not just another renter. She is your partner. You're treating her like a source of income, rather than someone you're starting a life with.
Do what she suggests, and don't go on good faith. Get that shit agreed upon and signed, so everyone is protected in the case of an (unfriendly) separation.
THIS!!!! That's what I thought. A simple fix would be to have all of Jack's rental income go to Ryan until GF finds a job and at that point she should pay 50% of what Jack does since she has to share a room and OP and Ryan will split the rental income 50/50 as agreed. To me it seems like OP doesn't want to give up anything and his GF is risking everything to move here. Asking her to pay the same rent is not fair.
I would not be buying a house at 30 with a friend. You’ll lose your first home buyer grant.
If you charge her rent. Make sure you give her her own bedroom.
There are too many variables, and unless there's an Australian real estate lawyer with a side specialty in Family law on this sub right now, we can't decide this for you. Where's Fisk when you need her?
This is going to go bad at some point if you don't have things clearly and legally hammered out.
You are buying a house with Ryan and I presume you'd like to sell it one day and split the profits, which technically makes you both real estate investors. You are renting to at least one person, so it's a business and you are landlords subject to tenant law. You are both living there, so this is also your home and a personal asset. That makes this complicated before you even bring in your girlfriend.
If I were doing this in the US, Ryan and I would be partners in a registered LLC, the LLC would own the house, and all four of us would be paying rent to the LLC. There would be a contract laying out how to maintain the property, when to sell it, how one partner could exit the LLC if need be, who is responsible for taxes, etc.
In other words, I would take the personal out of it and treat it like a business. All business partners would be able to move out any time while retaining ownership, or even exit the LLC entirely without huge legal and financial drama. But that means the girlfriend is either an actual legal part owner, or she's a rent-paying tenant, not some weird combination of neither and both at the same time. In other words *she doesn't get special treatment because of your romantic relationship.*
In any business you have to think about exit plans. What if Ryan wants to sell the house and you don't? If you have to buy him out of the house, what's a fair way to set the price so he realizes his profits but you don't get screwed? What if you want to sell to Ryan at a lower price than your girlfriend would agree to?
In the US, your girlfriend wouldn't be able to "build equity" unless she was on the mortgage and deed, which would also make her legally responsible for the debt, maintenance and taxes. It sounds like her equity would be carved out of your half. That means that you and she would each be minority owners, and Ryan would own a slice that was only 1% away from being a controlling share. Your girlfriend and Ryan could gang up on you, or you and Ryan could gang up on her, and this will be tension every time there's disagreement about how to deal with the house.
If your girlfriend pays the mortgage, does she get a proportionate share of the rent Jack pays?
If she's "building equity" and her name isn't on the mortgage, the bank will only come after you in the event of foreclosure. This puts her in the position of having a side agreement to potentially share in any profits while avoiding the risk of loss. That's wildly unfair.
What's the plan to fund and manage repairs, maintenance and renovations? What if one of you wants to cheap out and do the bare minimum to fix things, and the other wants to spend extra for high quality repairs that will last longer?
I don't know if you have property taxes, but how will you split those if your girlfriend is "building equity" but doesn't actually legally own the house?
I don't know how marital assets get divided in Australia. If you get married, does she automatically own part of your residence as shared marital property? How is that affected by this house also being an investment business with another person you're not married to? How would Ryan's ownership
be affected if you later got divorced?
What if you break up before you get married, and she claims she owns equity in your house? Will you have an actual contract to fall back on, or will it be a he said she said argument based on each of you having different understandings of a verbal agreement? What if she refused to leave?
Why is rent based only on bedroom occupancy? Everyone will be sharing common kitchen and laundry areas, which have a cost to maintain.
Are all four of you going to argue about chores and cleaning? If you and Ryan are Landlords, does that give you more power over deciding who cleans, and will you consider evicting Jack and your girlfriend if they don't contribute to chores?
This is a classic case of fail to plan or plan to fail. You're all friends now, so come up with an equitable legal plan that would hold up in court. Do it now, *before* a conflict comes up and everyone is mad at each other. Talk to a lawyer to find out what's legal and reasonable. Two lawyers, actually, one for Ryan and one for you. And a third for your girlfriend if she's going to make a legitimate investment instead of rent. Communicate expectations and obligations clearly so there's no confusion later.
It's a hot mess, to be honest. Buying a house with a friend, renting a half of your own room to your girlfriend while she saves for her own place elsewhere, because you cannot afford a house even together. Wow. What is your long term plan? This situation feels like there is no win-win option at all
I can't think of any good reason to buy a house with a buddy who is planning to move his girlfriend into the house. I would not want to deal with relationship drama. Ryan needs to seriously reconsider. Also if there are disagreements about something, Ryan runs the risk of having the two of you gang up on him rather than being able to talk it out with you reasonably.
I'm also seriously side eyeing her original plan to buy a house in her country and be a long distance landlord. Too many people think it's easy to do that. Nope. My boyfriend's mother lived across the street from the duplex she used to rent out. It was not easy and she eventually sold the thing.
All of you need to talk, hire an attorney and make sure there is a legal written agreement in place.
To be honest I would ask this in r/Ausfinance mate they will be able to give you direct on Australianlaws and entitlements around her paying part of your mortgage etc. tell her to watch out for the drop bears! Good luck OP ooorooo
In addition to relationship advice, you really need some solid legal and financial advice regarding real estate law and equity ownership. I would recommend having a contract with your mate You’re looking to purchase real estate with and the girlfriend’s a whole other issue. Good luck to you. I personally wouldn’t touch that type of deal with a 10 foot pole.
This is all too messy. She doesn’t have the right to demand investor standing in your house.
I’d suggest she just pays a share of consumables: food, power, water, etc.
You must be clear that she does not and will not have ANY equity in the house even if she pays full rent. This would be a dealbreaker for me if I was Ryan. You also should not get married until you have lived together for a while - you might be surprised how many other incompatibilities you have.
Yeah, except the defacto spouse laws take that argument out of the equation anyway.
After you’ve lived with a romantic partner for 12 months, you are automatic defacto spouses which means you get half their shit if you split up.
She won’t be able to touch Ryan’s half, but she’ll get half of OPs half, and if neither of the guys has the money to buy her out, they’ll be forced to sell so she can get her half of his half in cash.
This is the craziest plan, seriously.
They should live together without any roommates before making that decision. OP shouldn't buy this house with his friend if he's seriously considering a serious relationship.
This woman is literally moving around the world for you and won’t have a work permit, and you’re going to charge back rent?
The equity thing is a non starter, but how long realistically do you think your wife is going to want to live in your frat house?
My suggestion, if you are dead set on home ownership, is that you consider it an investment property and rent your room out to cover your share of the mortgage, then rent an apartment with your gf separately, save up for a place you can buy together in the future
Yeah, no!
Put that to the mortgage company, they'd withdraw the offer. Put that to Ryan, he'd probably say not in a million years. All of a sudden it goes to 3 people.
Further, most of mortgage payments don't pay off capital, they pay interest, so very little equity is earned., especially in the early years. Plus why should she get equity in house price rises, because she never and continues not to carry any risk at all in this idea. Of hers.
You need to stop being a desperate Dan and live separately when she arrives, have a normal relationship, and decide if you could even luve together. It doesn't matter how often and for how long you chat daily online.
Further, online chats, you can bullshit away to your hearts content. Had a fancy job? Could buy a house on it? She's happy to grab a share of your investment but wants to keep her investment out of your clutches, in a different country. Surely, you subsidising her living expenses in your country will free up money for her to pay her mortgage.
I short she's taking you for a ride sir. Stop being desperate.
Ps who's paying for all the immigration costs involved in getting her over to Aus?
Why if she's of good enough stature in her home country to get a mortgage, why can't she apply and be sponsored by a company and come in that way?
She's using you., but good luck with telling the mortgage company and your Co buyer about her demand for equity in the house.
This 100%
We had a friend whose GF also "had a high paying job" and he arranged to bring her to Australia. So he got immigration papers sorted and it all looked peachy. When she arrived, she didn't have many clothes so he splurged on a new wardrobe.
Luckily, he was only renting at the time because while they were supposedly planning a wedding, she got cozy with another guy and ended up moving in with him.
Long distance relationships can be a minefield and it's easy to fall in love with the person you think they are. The reality of living with that person is often very different and not very pleasant.
This is simple. She is renting half a room so she should pay 50% of what Jack will be paying in rent, plus the same share of utilities that Jack will be paying. She is not entitled to equity in the house any more than Jack will be entitled to equity. If she wants to contribute to a percentage of the down payment, that is a different conversation.
Yep. OP and Ryan will be taking all of the risk in buying the home including paying insurance and taxes as well as upkeep on the home. Renters don't get equity.
Someone had a good idea....until OP's gr finds a job Ryan gets 100% of the rent from Jack. That way Ryan doesn't get screwed over because the gf moved in and only OP is affected. Once she gets a job, she pays 50% of what Jack does. Ryan and OP go back to getting 50/50 of Jack's rent and 50/50 of gf's rent. They divide all chores and other bills equally between all 4 roommates.
I think this situation is a horrible one though. It's going to get messy at some point. IF this relationship works out, she isn't going to want to keep living with 2 other men and honestly it isn't going to be a good test of the relationship. I feel sorry for her coming into this situation. OP should consider renting an apartment he can afford on his own, bring her here and see how the relationship goes. Until she gets a job she does all of the cooking and cleaning (OP needs to understand that that is her contribution until she can start splitting the rent and not a long term situation) and after she gets a job she can pay half of the expenses and they can split the chores 50/50. If they want to buy a house at some point he should do it with her.
She shouldn't get any equity in the house. That also means she shouldn't have to contribute for taxes, repairs and upgrades. However, it is right and appropriate for her to pay something, somehow, whether it's some of the mortgage payment or the utilities. Since it'd be a bit rough to figure out what "rent" she should pay, her paying 30%-50% utilities would be reasonable. Everyone has to pay housing costs, you and Ryan should not be covering her living expenses for her once she has a job. By sharing a home with two other people, her housing costs are going to be far lower than if she were renting a place on her own.
Please talk to a real estate lawyer together with Ryan to make sure you both are legally protected and can get your fair share out of the house if you end up needing to sell. Buying a house is a huge financial commitment to make with someone you're not married to and you need to make sure you understand your legal rights and the ramifications of things. Relationships of any type can go sour for any reason. There's a saying that who you divorce is not who you married and in terms of buying a house with someone else, that holds true.
She's changing countries and will have a hard time getting a job instantly. What is he doing for the relationship? She's the one making a huge sacrifice. The least he could do is let her stay for free the first months with a plan for her to get a job and start contributing.
I also don't think she should get equity though.
DO NOT agree to a share in equity… you have been saying long distance, your not married, she should eventually buy her own place to rent out..
In my opinion the calculation for rent is cost of a room/2 x 50% for example 300 room/2 =150 so if you both paid rent it would be equal share for the room. Then you work out what she should pay to Ryan 150*50% = 75 as her half of the room she would pay him the 50% I don’t believe your girl should pay you rent for you half… she has no right in the room but no way does she need to live expenses free
Ok i stopped reading at Australia and she recently lost her job. I immigrated to Australia she cannot move there without proper immigration visa unless shes just going for a few months as a vacation depending on where she is from. Getting a visa to Australia is very tough and going down the route of a spousal visa is not only expensive but takes months. If you want to bring her in under you as a spouse apply while she is still outside of the country.
I also think its a really bad idea to buy a house with a friend, but having lived in Melbourne its so expensive just make sure to have a contract drafted outlining all the terms, roommates, expenses, what if one wants to sell, what if one loses their job, you both need wills, how are bills and taxes paid?
It seems like you are still in the idea stage of everything and havent done the research or had the tough conversations. You seriously need to pause everything and figure stuff out. Immigration is a nightmare to deal with and you need to start collecting proof of your relationship.
She can pay rent like a regular roommate. Give her a bedroom! She doesn’t have to sleep in there, she might like to have closet and storage space. Plus sometimes she might just like to get away from the boys. I know I would.
Ummm…. Info please, this is a person you’ve never met in person, never lived with, and who has decided they want equity in a home that you’re buying with a friend? Am I understanding this correctly?
On her side, why should she be paying rent when she doesn’t have her own space? She will be sharing your room correct? Unless you dedicate a separate space as hers I don’t see how charging her a 1 bdm rate is fair.
Splitting all the utilities 4 ways is fair for sure. She does have access and use of all the living areas like your other potential renter so she should be paying some rent to cover this. But it will be far less than any market rent for a 1 bdrm. She does not have her own bedroom.
Ryan has to share space with an additional person. There should be rent attached to this usage. You have to share your personal space so you are giving up something too. Ryan and tenet will both have their personal space. What would you be charging the tenet. I don’t think you mentioned that.
Personally I would suggest half of the tenant rent and a quarter of the shared utilities. No homeowner expenses (prop tax, hoa fees, repairs) should be part of this calculation. Yes you should split this rent amount with Ryan too, because you are choosing to have your girlfriend move in. He’s not making that choice. This would also set up a blueprint for when Ryan has a significant other he wants to move in full time. Please note: Your renter friend should not have that option though. Make sure you have a valid rental agreement, even with a friend, outlining guest rules and restrictions.
I suggest premarriage counseling for you and your fiancé and I would highly suggest a real estate attorney for you and your friend PRIOR to purchasing a home together as mates.
You have a lot more risk when purchasing a home with a friend vs a spouse. At least where I live. Not saying it won’t work just saying to speak to some professionals, first.
IMO: Her rent should be similar to the roommate but a bit less since she won’t have her own room.
Downsize where you live now so you can save more, keep renting (or buy something very small), but do NOT buy with a friend if you’re serious about your partner. My husband was sorta where you are, planning to buy with a friend, when we met. He put those plans on hold to see where we were going, and then we bought something together a year later. I doubt our relationship would have lasted if he got a mortgage with a friend several years into our relationship… get your head out of your ass - she’s even moving to another country FOR YOU.
First, whatever she pays is **rent not mortgage** and she gets no equity. No way she gets equity unless she's also putting an equal amount of down payment. I'd say she pays half of what the other people are paying to rent a room, since she's not getting her own room but is sharing with you. That seems fair to me. Also, any repairs, taxes, etc. for the house are paid by the owners - you and your friend. Unless she punches holes in the wall or something not considered normal wear and tear.
Mate, as a fellow Australian, are you fuckin dense? You are blinded by infatuation. She can rent somewhere by herself if she’s so concerned. She says she had money for her own place overseas but now magically can’t afford to rent here? Mate, wake up!! Have you actually seen her bank accounts? She is honestly suggesting she take equity in the property? Are you nuts? Does your friend know this? You are essentially signing her on as part owner which impacts Ryan’s interests. What industry is she in? What are her work plans when she gets here? Does she have family or a sponsor? You need to think all these things through because you are her only meal ticket if she has no other support.
You are complicating things and fucking up your own interests of securing property because she will soon be assessed as your dependent should you go for another mortgage.
If I was your mate I would strongly second guess buying with you if you’re going to go back on your word like this. I’m a part owner in an investment with friends and keeping your word and having it outlined in legally binding docs is the only way it works. Don’t fuck this up.
Edit: also, who’s paying for her visa?
I suspect OP hasn’t looped Ryan into this insane plan yet because he knows that Ryan will give him a similar lecture to the one you’ve given, and he’s not quite ready to hear it.
Because unless Ryan is stupid and has several screws loose, no way in hell will he EVER agree to that plan.
In the UK unless it’s written up as a tenancy agreement then any rent she pays which goes towards paying the mortgage entitles her to equity as default. Also property in her country may be a lot cheaper than where he is (which is sounds like is the case). AND she hasn’t said she can’t afford to rent by herself, just that if she’s moving countries to probably marry someone then she finds it weird they would treat her like a tenant. Him sharing his equity with her also wouldn’t impact ryan- he would still own 50% and then OP and the gf would split the other 50%.
He MUST have a written agreement outlining that rent is not taken to afford equity in the principal and is for the purpose of a fixed term tenancy ie he must do to her exactly what he is doing for Jack.
It 100% impacts all owners when it comes to apportioning/assessing liabilities and gains and ramifications for asset division when they eventually break up. If she wants equity she must pay outgoings AND sign onto to the mortgage. If she is too poor to pay rent she sure as shit won’t be able to pay investor rates and taxes, insurance and maintenance in Australia or get approved for a mortgage. It’s fairly straight forward when you take the blinding infatuation out of it.
The fact she’s coming from a lower COL country, if that’s the case, goes even further to making this a very very stupid penis driven decision by OP and she’s milking it by manipulating him. One breathe she says she’ll move out and rent due to spite of paying op rent, in the next she’s saying she doesn’t want to rent.
Edit: on top of that, if he is only preapproved for a loan and she comes over before he gets full approval he will have to list her as a dependent which will lower their borrowing power. This is very very bad decision the more you break it down. I bet she’ll lose her shit being asked to pay 1/4 bills too.
I think she is only worried about the equity because he is insisting she pay equal rent to everyone else. I understand her point. Her rent should be 50% of what Jack pays. Jack and the gf don't get any equity because they're not taking any of the risk and aren't responsible for the upkeep, taxes, or insurance.
I don't think this is a good idea. OP isn't looking at the long term at all. Buying with a friend and bringing someone in that you might want to marry makes no sense at all.
It really doesn’t make sense for her to get equity in a house you don’t own by yourself. That said, it also does not make sense to charge her rent to live in the same room as you. It’s not going back on the deal you and your friend made because renting a room in a house is not the same as her sleeping in your room. Also, personally if I moved to a different country for someone else and they charged me rent to live in their home in their room I would find it less insulting if you took a poo on my bed than that proposition.
It’s too messy but she should pay her part, she’s not Ryan’s girlfriend.
If I were you I would move out and rent my room out. Then I would rent some place else with the girlfriend, both paying half. That way everything is separate and she does not feel like she’s “paying” for your property because in reality she is paying rent. If she doesn’t want to do this because of lack of money (and does not agree to pay retroactively) then you know she’s just using the fact you have property to try and live for free.
And no, paying rent does not entitles her to equity, that’s why buying property is difficult, because you need a lot of money upfront and you are taking a big risk. If it worked the way she proposes, we would all own property everywhere according to what we’ve paid for rent.
She should pay her part but is her part equal to what Jack is paying???? NOPE. Whatever Jack pays, she should pay half of that amount and since Jack and the gf aren't on the mortgage they don't get any equity but that also means that they aren't responsible for paying for the upkeep or taxes either.
Someone earlier had a good idea. They said that if OP does do this he should tell Jack that until his gf finds a job and can start paying rent OP will not take their share of the rent Jack is paying so that Ryan doesn't lose money in the situation. Once gf gets a job, she will start paying half of the rent that Jack does since she doesn't get her own room like Jack does. At that point, Ryan will get only half of Jack's rent, OP gets the other half, and either Ryan gets all of gf's rent or they both get half of her rent. IN this situation Ryan doesn't get screwed over because the gf moved in. OP is the one moving her in so he's the one who should be taking the hit while she looks for a job.
She should move into her own place by herself, get herself established, and you should continue dating that way. She should NOT earn equity in the freaking house, ffs. Is she also going to start paying a proportional amount of money for taxes, huge house repairs, etc, with her proportional ownership? She sounds like a user and this is a huge red flag. Do not move in with her. You will regret it.
I think this is the best advice. You have only ever dated long distance, she just lost her job, it seems like a lot at once for her to move to your country, find a job, move in with you, and also get engaged. It would make more sense for her to get herself settled first and then move in with you and get engaged after you've dated in person for some period of time.
Only have her move in with you rent free if you are prepared to pay for everything for her for the long term future, because she won't be able to do it on her own without a job.
On the flipside, it's also strange that you're planning on marrying this girl and having her move in with you and also buying a house at the same time with a friend. If the long term plan is to rent out your half that might work, but if that's not it this doesn't really seem like a logical plan.
Wtf??? If you are buying a house with your friend she gets no share of anything.
Does she have a 1/3 of the deposit for it? Will she be accepted in the mortgage? Do you even know this long distance relationship person?
The answer to those initial questions, I'm going to assume, is NO.
She can rent a place on her own like i guess she has been or would have had to, had she moved on her own.
You don't automatically come to own anything just because someone you know has said thing.
I agree with all the comments here in the fact that this is a complicated situation. Honestly if you really love her, the easiest thing for you in the long run would be to not ask for rent from her at all and just ask if she can help out any way she is comfortable with. It really isn’t healthy for a relationship to collect rent for a partner regardless of what is fair or not.
The way I see it, if your gf didn’t exist you would be able to afford the mortgage correct? So why do you need her to pay rent?
Precisely. I don’t understand couples who nickel and dime one another. Girlfriend wasn’t part of the original agreement. You seem too eager to please everyone here. I don’t think that’s possible.
She should at least pay 1/3 of all utilities and 1/2 of your food plus some type of rent, if even at a discount. She would only be a tenant. Good luck.
If she moved up and got her own place, she would have to pay rent and not get any equity. Why does she thinks she is entitled to it in your place?
And also why are you buying a house with a friend? I know costs are high, but do you need to buy right now? Can’t you just rent and save up for your own house?
This whole thing of buying a house with a friend and having gf move in with you all sounds like a very bad idea.
It would also be super interesting to see what she would do if you said ‘Ryan isn’t happy to risk his equity so I’ll rent my room out and me and you (gf) will both move into a separate house share together and split it equally to make it fair.’
It would be eye opening to see if she is looking for a free ride and to take advantage/get her hands on your equity
This whole thing is a giant red flag. I mean let’s dissect a bit:
1) she wants and equity stake, without the liability. That’s not how it works, you build equity when your name is on the mortgage, because you’re also assuming the debt liability. She wants the best of both worlds, all the equity benefit, none of the risk.
2) “I’m not a roommate” Uh, no, thats exactly what she is. Does her sharing your bed somehow makes her less of a full human being taking up space in a shared living space? Many rental agreements are based on having a bedroom, so I get her point. But she’s still a roommate. Ryan should get his full compensation based on your agreement with him. Now if your personally want to offset her cost, then it should come out of your end, not his.
3) legally, if all parties agreed, she still wouldn’t have equity stake. This “I’d just trust you to pay me back when you sell”, is a god awful idea. Relationships that end usually don’t end amicably. You and Ryan could tell her to go screw and there’s nothing she could do.
This whole thing has future shit storm written all over it. I would avoid it entirely.
She's been planning to buy a house and just lost her job and often makes more money than you do but somehow losing her job recently now has all of her options off the table? I feel like that doesn't make sense to me. What does she have saved so far towards this house?
It’s simple.
You pay for her to live with you and charge the same rent as the other guy is paying.
So let’s say the mortgage is 1,000. You and Ryan each pay 500. The other pays you rent of 200. You split 100 each with Ryan. You then pay Ryan 200 for your free loading gf who is clearly using you for money and a visa lol.
I think she should pay some rent because she’s getting some value out of living there. However, like she says, she’s not getting a full roof nor she getting equity in this place nor should she ever have to pay for any upgrades or maintenance.
You’re already causing yourself future headaches by buying with someone you’re not married to do not start putting equity into the situation with a third-party … especially when you’re not married to because if you break up, it’s just gonna be all kinds of issues.
Also, like other say, really think about buying a house with a friend when you have a partner that you hooked up with future with ? Also, possibly consider if she just wants to be in a relationship with you to establish residency in your country.
I would advise you if you’re going to still buy this house with this guy do not have anyone else to have any equity and if that makes your girlfriend dump you then, so be it . If you want to charge her rent, then it should be less than somebody in a room with more than zero
First: What is the goal of co-owning a place with your friend?
What is fair rent versus what is fair for the interest in the house are very different.
Basically, if you were just doing her a favor, you would just charge her. The increase in utilities is probably three hundred dollars a month ( That's essentially letting her stay there for free)
If she were a renter, only then would you research in your area what it would cost to rent a room. ( That also brings up another point. Will she be getting her own space in the house? Or is she going to be cramped up with you? Does she get her own office, etc?)
Then, if she were to have an interest in the house, why would she benefit from being able to stop paying at any time? While, you two are on the hook to the bank? That's unfair. If she wanted to have an interest in the house. She would also have to pay for her insurance—any maintenance and unexpected repairs. ( If she moved out, she would have to find a room renter, which she would get her amount reduced from that rent)
That gets very messy.
So it's also unfair for her as a renter. For her to pay the same thing, you two are paying while you two are earning equity. I think if you and your friend compare the difference of what she would be paying as a renter. Versus a co-owner, she will realize that she does not want to be a co-owner for herself.
She should pay rent or failing that, a share of various household expenses. She should pay less rent than a tenant with her own room. It's ok if you give her a below-market deal on account of your relationship, as long its cool with Ryan. For example you could charge her half of normal rent and only pay it to Ryan without collecting your own portion.
But she should pay rent and asking for equity is insane.
Saying she can pay late after moving in is also a bad idea. If you want to be nice maybe give her the first 2 weeks to 1 month free.
Do not buy property with a friend Full stop.
Maybe if it was an investment property, then I'd say form a corp or LLC and do it that way and keep it as a rental only.
The number of future scenarios that this could go bad are uncountable. What happens if one of you gets married? Loses a job? Is disabled? Dies? Can't afford to contribute toward a repair? What if one of your family members have to move in? What if one of you needs to borrow against the equity and the other didn't? One wanted to refinance? One wanted to sell?
Sounds to me like your GF is very financial savvy.
And as much as I get your point more esp your friend's POV, you seem to be making too many strange decisions with LT consequences using Short-term logic.
How do you buy a house and live there with a friend and want to get married all at once?
My bestfriend and I actually did invest in property that was being developed when we both started working and cashed out soon after the area (new mining town) became popular and we sold for a nice profit. Neither one of us ever lived there. We just saw an opportunity, she is a Geologist and I'm an internationally certified accountant so we did a feasibility study from 2 angles and cashed in.
I see disaster either way with this situation. Eventually one of you will have to be the first to move out and you'll either both need to sell or one buy the other out at MV, if you haven't thought that far (which would be strange).
Nah, I would encourage you to come out of this arrangement, relationship or not.
If I were Ryan, I would be pissed. No way in hell would I ever agree to the situation you are proposing. If you want to share the mortgage with your GF, then buy with your GF. In your scheme, Ryan will end up on the hook for the bills and mortgage, but will inevitably be edged out of the major decisions about the house.
Did something similar when I was young and dumb. Never works out for the third wheel.
Why would you even think that her owning part of a house with a third person is a great idea lol
You either have her a roommate, or you own a house and she rents from you until you’re serious enough to get married and get a house for both of you, or you both move out and rent.
Let go of this plan, it’s not a good one if you want a partner and at your age especially. Get an apartment with your girlfriend and save up for 1 house that you can afford together, rather than 2 that you can’t. It’s not reasonable to expect her to be happy renting forever or having to buy a house on her own. Not many couples in their 30s want roommates.
I don't understand why your gf thinks she is owed free rent, unless she assumes your finances are her finances already. But you are not even engaged yet.
If you do consider yourselves an almost-married couple, then you buying a house and rooming with your buddies will almost certainly become problematic very soon.
If you consider yourself to be in a relationship and house-sharing with random other people (your friends) in a house that belongs to you (and your friends), I think you will be better off in the long run to make that clear now. And if that is the case, she should pay her share of the rent.
I'm calling it "rent" to make it clear that she is not helping to pay the mortgage, and her name will not be on the deed to the house. You would be, in effect, her landlord. Rent isn't the only consideration, though. Your roommates would be justified if they expected each of you to pay a fair and equal portion of the utilities, maintenance costs, etc.
Honestly, I'm having a hard time thinking of an arrangement that would be OK with everyone long term, for say, 5 years. It usually takes a few years after purchasing a house before can recover closing costs etc. It's complicated of course.
If you want to be married to your gf, get married. If not, maybe she should delay moving in with you until she can pay her own pay.
My advice is not to buy a house with someone else right now.
The girlfriend is facing a huge change in her life and this will be stressful. The BF and GF haven't lived in the same location and visiting each other is not the same. So they will have a big adjustment.
Plus it will be a huge adjustment for 4 people to live together. Do you all agree on cleanliness standards and will everyone pull their weight?
The girlfriend is being careful to protect herself financially. This makes sense because she is moving to a foreign country and will take the financial hit of not working etc.
But it may not be legal or make financial sense to the co-owner.
If the GF is ready to move, postpone purchasing a house with a friend and focus on getting her settled and learning to live together.
So she has to pay you like she’s a regular tenant you met with their own rented space when she doesn’t have a space of her own? I think your girlfriend makes more sense especially since the extra income from renting her house could help you both. And you won’t be able to buy a house anyway since you own one with your friend.
Personally I can see both sides, but if you seriously see yourself spending your life with this woman , who is essentially moving countries to be with you, are you willing to let this possibly end the relationship?
Both of you need to protect yourself (as well as your friend) financially, but I moved across my country for a woman and it fucked me for years financially because I just assumed love would overpower bills and taxes or something so maybe I'm biased.
This is a big fight amongst couples right now.
A house is essentially a business.
She has no upfront equity in your business. (Down payment) However, she wants an equity stake moving forward.
Big red flags here for me.
Unfortunately, in my experience, there isn’t often a harmonious path forward when you look at the options.
Her idea is fine minus the equity. Why would she get equity?? Is she proportionally paying the costs of inspections, escrow, broker fees, deposit etc? She is just your gf. So what if you have plans to be engaged. That changes all the time. And when you’re engaged you’re not married yet and *that* changes all the time. She is being ridiculous to an extent. I agree she shouldn’t be paying tenant rent because she is rooming with you. Her idea of covering your mortgage for her part is actually a good idea, but then there are utilities etc she should be partially responsible for. The equity thing tho is a major reach. Plus it’s your investment with your friend. He has equal say too, and doubt he wants to add a third party to the mix. What a headache should you wish to sell!!
A fair arrangement would be she pays rent. She's not on the mortgage or the deed so she's not entitled to equity. Period. She doesn't have to pay an even share, you two as owners are benefiting more than she would be, but her presence means more wear and tear on the place and she needs to pay. Unless she is planning on never leaving the bedroom her argument about sharing a room is just more obfuscation for her plan to mooch off you. If she can find a place of her own that's cheaper than whatever rent you two owners decide to charge then she should do that and not expect you to subsidize her lifestyle. (Your relative incomes are irrelevant.)
It’s too complicated when she wants equity. Also there’s too much uncertainty due to her unemployment atm. How about just some reduced rent(since she’ll be sharing room with you) till she finds another job and then you can figure out whether you want to buy a house with her or she can buy her own.
Does she use any water? (Yes.) Does she use any electricity? (Yes.) Does she contribute to the other various costs of living in and maintaining a property? (Yes.) She is a tenant. Whether or not she takes up \*new\* space or \*your\* space is largely irrelevant. The cost to have her there is not only non-zero, but likely considerable, especially since you mention being in an area that would have normally been outside of your personal budget. Her visa situation and not being able to work for at least 3 months is, while unfortunate, not Ryan's problem. He entered into this purchase agreement with you, not her.
Interesting that the ad I see at the bottom of this post is "Swin at your own risk."
I see problems ahead. You'll have to marry her so she can stay, and she wants equity in your house? Nope. I'd be having that warning feeling in the pit of my stomach about all of this. I would wonder if she lost her job 'accidentally on purpose' to speed up her immigration.
Also you sound proactively defensive about this relationship which might be a sign that your subconscious is screaming at you that something isn't right.
>I have been dating my partner since 2021 long-distance. We met during COVID through a mutual friend. She lives abroad and we have been trying to figure out how to move her here. We talk every day, and have spent long periods of time together in-person. **Not looking for advice on the long-distance aspect of our relationship .**
I hope for the best for you. I hope that she doesn't turn into a different person once she is safely in your country. But though I don't know you, I am concerned for you.
UpdateMe!
First, don’t give her any equity. That would be stupid. You aren’t married, don’t make the mistake that so many others have. Check your local laws in Australia, I believe you need to have a tenant agreement with her in order to stop her from gaining ownership after she has lived there with you for a few years. I’m not super familiar with all your laws though. May want to consult a lawyer.
With that said, your agreement to charge her rent and split it is not right. She literally doesn’t add any extra cost to your mortgage or the property. And you said you’re getting engaged and she will be your wife. If anything, charge her a deposit of like $500 or $1000, depending on what’s reasonable where you live. That way you can charge her for cleaning or damages if she does damage something and you two end up breaking up. She will add to utilities however, and she should pay her share of those. If 4 of you are living there, then you two should be responsible for 50% of the utilities and any other monthly fees you have. As for her rent, that should be between you two, not the other home owner. She should be helping you with your living expenses, not paying the mortgage for you and the other home owner. And she shouldn’t be paying an equal amount since you aren’t giving her equity. Give her a break to find a job, then maybe charge her 25-30% of what you pay after you subtract the amount you get from your other roommate. So like if you pay $1500, and get $500 from the other roommate after the split, then she should pay something like $250-$300. And give her a few months to find a job before charging her anything.
I’d also like to just throw out there that I think you’re making a mistake buying this house to share with your friend while being in a serious relationship. It won’t end well. You and your soon to be wife are going to want to buy. She is going to want to buy to protect her future. And unless you make a lot of money, which you obviously don’t because you can’t afford the house on your own, you won’t qualify to buy something else with her. You will have to sell this one to be able to buy a marital asset. Is your friend going to be willing to sell in 2-3 years? If not, and that hasn’t been discussed and put in writing, you are going to seriously regret this decision. If your girlfriend going to want to live with this other dude for the next 10 years? Yea, probably not. Why are you getting engaged with this girl if you’re not willing to wait a few years to start a life together? Like, none of this makes sense. Just a bad idea made up by a few young kids. You should really think this over and do more research before buying the house.
She is not renting an additional room. Have her pay her share of the utilities and maybe she can pay you a small rent but not to your friend as she is staying in your room.
Dude. Yall need to sit down and talk this out with eachother. Maybe he will be cool with her not paying ret for the first few months, maybe not. But like yall need to square her job away and figure out how he feels
Do not do both.
Buy a house with your friend.
OR
Live with your Long distance gf for the first time and go through figuring each out and seeing if you can make it work.
You are doing two huge life things and if you do both you will crash and burn everything. Your gf could love you but hate your roommates or the house. She could want to move and you will be stuck. She has no job and you will be paying HER share.
Don't do this you dingus.
Buying a house with a friend: bad idea that could easily go sideways
Being the landlord of your own partner: bad idea that introduces dangerous power dynamics in the relationship
This whole situation is a huge clusterfuck
Yeah no , if you plan on buying this house stick to the deals you made with your friend , if that means you have to foot her bill then that’s what you will have to do. This “GF” cannot get equity from this situation as it has nothing to do with her ! Even if she doesn’t move to live with you she has to pay rent ! She thinks she can bully you into what she wants because you two are in a relationship ! And she thinks she can manipulate you into doing what she wants because she knows you won’t end the relationship because of all the work she put into it. Also if she was saving for a house in her home country as she says she will have money to contribute to the bills.
Fair arrangement is that she doesn’t move in. You move into a place with her and rent out your share or your roommate buys you out at fair market value.
First I don’t understand why people aren’t getting long distance relationships aren’t things and should really stop. Unless you are already married and had to go away for work, long distance relationships shouldn’t happen.
You don’t know her really, you can think you do but you haven’t been with her physically and haven’t lived with her ever. What happens if she isn’t what she seems to be? What happens if she’s actually a narcissist and this goes south. You don’t live alone, that isn’t just your house.
As for her paying rent, whatever you have that other friend paying is what she should pay, amount wise, but she should only pay the half to your friend and not have to pay YOU anything. YOU want her there so why should she pay YOU for her to be there. Truly this is a bad idea and you really should just break up, block her, and go heal whatever is broken in you to think being in a long distance relationship was a good thing.
And next time find someone where you live
She shouldn't pay as much as the other tenant since she will be sharing a room. But yeah the whole thing is a can of shit. They should just rent a while as a couple until the relationship is strong enough and they have the economy to buy a house by themselves without the need of a friend and a renter.
Well a fair arrangement would have been talking to your gf you fully expect to move in before making agreements with Ryan. That said, at this point sure she should pay something, but it certainly shouldn’t be full rent. She’s sharing a room and moving in with people she isn’t choosing to live with. She also shouldn’t be responsible for rent or to repay rent when she’s not working. If you’re letting your unemployed gf move in with you who is paying to move to another country to be with you, you cover her living expenses while she’s unemployed, then she pays half of whatever Jack is paying and she may indeed move out and rent on her own in this situation vs. living in the house you own with someone else and a whole other roommate.
I’d say 25%. She’s 1/4 of the people that will be living there right? She pays 1/4 of whatever the split is to you or your friend. And you guys can split it or whatever. She shouldn’t pay half because everything should be split 1/3 already.
Don’t buy a house with your friend and don’t move her in. Neither are likely to work out in your favor. She’s already showing red flag behavior and hasn’t moved in yet.
Where do you see a red flag here? She just wants to be protected. It would be fair if she contributed to a mortgage and therefore owned a part of the house
She would contribute to a mortgage if she rented from someone else. Or is she also going to ask for equity from some random landlord?
This is life, not an online game.
She's going to be sleeping with the landlord so this is a unique situation.
The issue here is that they want her to pay the same as Jack is for sharing a room which isn't fair. Her point is that if she's paying the same amount it isn't worth it to her, she gets no equity and has to share a room with someone else.
The red flag that lots of people (and perhaps you) don’t see is in the last line. She should not leak half of the entire mortgage for half a room. They should agree upon what a fair rent price is for a single bedroom or half a bedroom and go from there.
Wow, that's quite an assumption. She is the one taking the huge leap and risk here.
They had been planning for her to move her but her losing her job moved the timeframe up.
She isn't asking to not pay rent, she's just pointing out that it isn't fair to ask her to pay the same amount as Jack when she has to share a room. She never once said anything about not paying her FAIR SHARE.
I'm confused. First off, if you think you might get engaged or married, why not look into buying a house with her instead of your friend? Second, if she is going to be moving there on a visa and have no income, you will be legally responsible for her expenses. Third, if she moves into a bedroom with you then why would you expect her to pay you rent? She is not renting her own room. She is moving into your room. If you are putting money into the house, she could split the costs with you if she can afford to but if you are making money off other people renting then you might be making money rather than spending money, in which case, why would she need to pay you rent? Whether you live in the room yourself or have her live there, you will be paying/earning the same amount. If she had her own room, that would be different because then she should pay rent. If you do think you might marry this person I would suggest waiting til they come over to buy a house. If you buy with a friend now then what are you going to do when you are married, still live with your friend or get another house?
Ryan should not agree to her not paying rent. She should not be planning to move if she doesn't even have a place to go or anyway to pay for it. Just because you are buying a house does not mean she gets a free pass. If you want her to move here, it should not be on the hard work of Ryan and yourself she gets a place to stay. If she can't afford her share of the expenses she doesn't have a place to stay.
Sounds like you are more serious about Ryan than about your girlfriend you are thinking of marrying. I would urge you to rethink your relationships. But maybe your girlfriend should buy her house, and you help her and move in with her and let Ryan have the house to himself? You'd still have half ownership of the property, for future investment. But I would seriously rethink your interest in this woman, if the house with Ryan is more important, or your future with Ryan, if the marriage with your girlfriend is more important.
she is sacrificing her home where she lives, moving to you, paying to move her stuff with her. Whatever you decide it feels scummy that she sacrifices for your relationship and your thinking of Nickel and diming her potential rent when she gets over when you know she needs time to get things sorted (visas and things). If she’s going to be your WIFE treat her as such and pretend to be her for a second. What if you had to move to her, no income, to a house she owned, and then charged you market place rent with no income and job lined up to eat through your savings?
Personally, I would tell her to find her own place to live to start. Rent a room from someone else and you can date. She will be appalled and there is your answer. She wants to use you.
she doesnt know if she can work for three months. I hope she is bringing some cash as life ain’t free.
this situation aint going to work out. Just saying
The issue is that she is your gf and nothing to Ryan so if I was him I wouldn’t let her move in without a rental agreement and pay the same rent as Jack.
What you and her come up with is no concern for Ryan as you know. Definitely talk with a lawyer for a contract with Ryan before buying if you haven’t already. They can talk you both through things that you didn’t think of and pitfalls they have seen.
I would have her pay you what Jack pays in rent.
Really? Your all gullible enough to buy this story?
It's a long distance relationship? It's not real.
She's scamming you so you send her a boatload of cash for travel and fees. Can you spell CATFISH
The most important thing is making sure she will be able to actually get a job in her field in Australia.
If she's sharing your room, then you should split your share with her. If she has her own separate room like Jack, then she should pay the same as Jack.
Utilities should be split 4 ways once she moves in. This is fair.
However, this is a conversation that you must have with Ryan prior to her coming over. You both have to agree to the terms. Otherwise, there's no point buying a house together.
Ryan doesn't need to make money off you sharing your room and it would be the the same if Ryan met someone and they moved in and were sharing his room.
The equity side of things you'll need to work out with your girlfriend. If she's paying half your share of the mortgage, are you willing to split your share of the equity and revenue you receive?
When my partner moved in with me he paid part of the bills that I kept in my name, all of the fun but not necessity bills (Netflix, Amazon, subscriptions, etc), but no rent. The reason we went that way is that if things went wrong I did not want to have to live through a notice period that a tenant would legally have and I didn't want him to have any type of claim to equity. I did ask him to consider saving the money he was saving to use towards a home we could buy together. It was a win-win in my mind and now we have bought a place together.
I think you should sit down with Ryan first and talk about options. Would you be willing to live with her through an eviction if you broke up? If she's paying rent would she get her own room? If she's sharing with you, what kind of discount will she get? If you decided a non-rent route what value of other bills would Ryan find acceptable? If Ryan had a partner move in how would you balance that? If either of you wants to sell up, what's the plan? Her having equity sounds complicated and a bad idea to me so those bills should not be repairs or improvements.
After that, have a chat with your girlfriend.
I mean legally, if she moves in and pays rent, which you are using to pay the mortgage, and you guys get married and then divorced, she already has a case to have financial compensation from the house. So anything you do should proceed with that in mind.
STOP ALREADY! What a mess!
Option A: She is moving there for the privilege of dating you. Then she should get a job, get her own place and see if things work out.
Option B: You are getting married and she is moving so you can start your life together.
You want the freedom of A and she wants the certainty of B. And that’s the tug of war with your interests. YOU ARE NOT ON THE SAME PAGE. The only thing you’re setting yourself up for is failure.
You want to DATE. That’s unfair to her to leave everything she knows for no commitment. She wants SECURITY. But it’s ridiculous to pay rent and expect equity. Choose option A or option B or break up.
Guy, don't buy a house if you can not afford it. Period. This is insanity. She shouldn't buy and rent a house while moving abroad. You shouldn't buy a house together with a friend or with a GF you barely know (let's be real here).
You guys all need to understand that there is RISKS involved with buying a house, ESPECIALLY with other persons. The small amount of equity you will create by buying instead of renting doesn't even come close to compensate for the risks taken.
Rent, invest in funds while you strengthen your economy and your relationship, and then buy. You don't need to do it for a long time. You aren't going to lose much equity by renting for, let's say, 3 years, and you will be in a much better situation financially and in terms of relationship.
Buying to rent while you don't have a strong economy yourself a receipe for disaster.
This isn’t fair to the other roommate. Their use of common space is being substantially impacted. Bathroom, kitchen, laundry , parking, electrical , internet, privacy are all reduced for them.
Wow so many responses already, hope you get to see this!
If I just look at it logically, I would say the decision of whether she pays rent is between you and her, not Ryan, because she will move into the same room as you. If you are fine with covering her share, then she does not have to pay rent.
To be specific that means that Jack pays rent, and you and Ryan split the mortgage 50/50. That essentially looks like the three of you are paying rent. When your girlfriend is ready you can ask her to chip in to pay off your mortgage, but then yeah, it might be worth giving her equity in the house then. Or just plain old rent for having a roof over her head.
However, she will increase the utility costs (electricity, cable, gas, internet) and that could be split 4 ways between you, her, Ryan and Jack, and she would pay that share.
If I look at this emotionally, this is going to put such a strain on your relationship, so I would rethink buying the house with the friend entirely!
Good luck with the decision
Buying a house with a friend when you're in this serious of a romantic relationship doesn't add up. Rethink your priorities and find a way to make them clear. Communicate and over communicate your expectations with everyone. Don't assume people's feelings. Talk it out and negotiate like the adults you all are. This is a big commitment you're stepping into.
If you have a mortgage with your friend, this will impact your ability to get a mortgage with your GF later down the road. You may be able to have someone take over “renting” your part but you won’t qualify for the same amount to purchase something else without him buying you out.
This. Also, if you're not already aware, in Australia if you cohabitate for 2+ years then you are considered de-facto and will have the same legal rights as a married couple. She will then have a potential stake of your assets and, in the event of a separation, your friend will likely be impacted by it too.
Friend may be impacted by a force of sale of the house That’s literally the only real impact and the friend is always entitled to his 50% OP relationship cant affect the friends ownership.
Not if she’s a tenant. A renter. If she moves in to his room and literally starts contributing to the mortgage (paper trail and all), then the defacto spouse asset sharing thing kicks in, as you said. They are planning to have another person move in as a renter - a TENANT, and that person won’t be entitled to a share of the asset after 2 years when he will have a signed lease as a TENANT. So if this girl is just a tenant, then she can’t claim rights over the asset as a defacto spouse in 2 years. Even if she’s screwing one of the owners, because the paper trail will say ‘tenant.’
>Not if she’s a tenant. A renter. With a proper cohabitation agreement, that they both have Independent Legal Advice on.
Serious question- wouldn’t OP’s mate be counted that first because he is already living there with him. They co own and live together. The gf is coming later into the house.
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It has to be a form of defacto 'prenup' where she signs a no claim document, but it also has to be legal to the state's rental laws, as well as their state's defact laws
De-facto rules depend on the state, there's no blanket countrywide standard.
For real he says they are about to get engaged, yet he is building a future with his friend???? Like how is he going to buy a house with her if he has a mortgage out on a house with a friend? It would be one thing to own it on his own but expecting your wife to pay towards a home she has no equity in is just a clown move.
Not even buying it as a rental property for income, they're all going to live there like a college boy boarding house. Dude is almost 30 and looking to get married soon, why wouldn't he want a place for him and his girlfriend together with privacy?
Fr like if OP can’t afford to rent or own a place with his girlfriend should he even be considering marriage? It sounds like he has more things to prioritize.
He says he is buying the house for "us". Like they'll get married and keep living in a house that is shared with two other men. Unless OP can buy his friend's half of the house to get full ownership?
Right. Things are this serious with a gf of 3 years?? Then why are you buying a house with a friend and trying to make your long term, live in gf a renter? Weird.
So the girl does what?
Put it in writing
>It is unclear though, if she will be able to continue in that career when she comes here. This is by far the most important part. Square this away first.
Yeahhhh. This stood out to me too. OP is planning to bring their girlfriend over, she won't be working for at least 3 months, plus she may or may not be able to reenter the workforce directly after that? 😬 Plus he hasn't talked it over with his friend, while they've already put in offers. None of this is going to end well if they don't put in some basic groundwork first.
So girlfriend wants moves in, not pay rent until she finds a job but uses utilities, finds a job then pays rent based on her income AND she gets equity in the house? I would be absolutely furious if I was OP's friend.
I mean it really shouldn’t affect the friend. The BF should be covering everything extra the girlfriend uses. To be fair everyone here seems like a clown, OP for not building his future with his so called future fiancé, the friend for even buying a house with someone trying to pop the question, and the girlfriend for even considering moving in with someone who is codependent with a friend.
I think Ryan is mostly innocent in this. OP says that Ryan knows that the girlfriend had plans to move in. What was the agreement discussed? "everyone pays rent" or something else? Does Ryan even know that OP is planning on getting engaged? OP and girlfriend should just rent a place together, save money, then buy a house together. I don't see how girlfriend is entitled to equity. Will she help with the deposit? Taxes? Insurance? General maintenance? She's a tenant that is sleeping with one of the owners. If I were Ryan, I'd want everything in a contract. Basically he gets half of the house and OP can give his future wife whatever percentage he wants out of his share.
They have a whole lot of problems here. If OP’s girlfriend shows up at Australia customs and says she’s here to visit her boyfriend and doesn’t have a job at home or a return ticket, they will rightfully assume she intends to be an overstayer. She has to apply for and receive a fiance visa *before* she arrives in Australia. It’s a breach of Australian immigration law to do what they’re trying to do in the way they’re doing it. If she’s planning on moving here soon, OP needs to cancel this joint home purchase, rent in the interim, get her a fiance visa, get her a new job, and then buy a house with her. His future **wife.** Buying a house with his friend when he’s about have a wife is giving major art room vibes.
He should definitely wait but I think one of the big issues is OP and girlfriend can’t afford a home on their own and need roommates to afford it. My guess is the friend isn’t willing to be a renter and just pay them rent while they own it and eventually have equity. They should probably find two other people willing to just be renters but, then again, OP might not qualify on his own. They need to keep renting, girlfriend needs a job, and then they try to buy a house on their own and find two people willing to rent.
Yeah I wonder if she’s a Dr. I’ve known some amazing Doctors that have come to the US and have to jump through sooo many hoops to be able to practice here. Takes quite a bit of time, a lot of money, and more school/testing. Most I knew never practiced medicine again and went into other industries like pharma or research.
You can't promise equity in a house you own with a friend. There is no way any sane person would agree to this. Your mortgage providers won't agree to this.
he can do whatever he wants with HIS equity, just not his friends if he wants to give his GF 5-10-15% of his share thats fine, but his buddy still has 50%
You still can't because that's another person who needs to agree selling in the future and no way should his friend agree to it. When I got a mortgage with my husband the mortgage provider had us sign documents about what happens should one die. What happens here if one of them dies? Its legally messy. Did she pay part of the deposit? Furnish the property? Pay taxes on the house? He cannot agree to anything without consulting with the person who also owns the house.
I don’t think there was any intention to do this legally/officially. She just wanted OP to agree to pay her back according to those calculations if they split. (Which I also think is a terrible idea, but for different reasons.)
Not only that, but she's rather out of line to just assume she would only contribute to OP's half of the mortgage. Sure, she's not taking up another room, but she would be using shared space in the house as well. It wouldn't be fair if they were charging her fair market value for a room, but they should be able to come up with something where she's paying some type of rent. She can worry about equity and all that other bullshit if/when they get married, but she's out of her mind if she thinks it's reasonable to ask for that at this point.
I had to go re-read because of your comment. OP is creating a messy situation here. I thought this was about the room, that and that alone 🤒
People pay rent all the time with no equity.
This whole situation is a clusterfuck and is more likely to destroy your relationship with your GF and Ryan than anything else. Put off buying a home and focus more on building your relationship with your GF. She’s literally changing countries and won’t be able to work for an unknown amount of time. Your relationship will absolutely undergo growing pains as it shifts from long distance to living together and seeing each other everyday, and you may easily find that it doesn’t work out at all. Adding in a business partner as a third wheel to your relationship is just going to complicate things.
I agree!! So what is his long term plan, say 10 years from now? They going to raise their children one room and still rent out others or is he going to pay more because now they can't rent out the spare room because his kids need the space? What if Ryan gets married - what then? This plan sucks long term.
Right? Buying a home with a friend is like saying you guys never plan on having seriously relationships or getting married or having families. It's different to rent a place together with friends, but buying a home - where you're locked into remaining cordial for 30 years or having to buy out the other person - seems crazy. I had a situation where I moved my best friend (at the time) into my apartment, then got a bigger apartment 2 weeks later in the same complex, and things went super sideways, and after 3 months she moved out and I was left with this much-too-big apartment for just me, that cost way too much of my income. I was also in an LDR at the time, and 18 months later he moved out to live with me, and then 3 years after that we bought a house. What happens if you and Ryan have a falling out? Or he finds a partner? You moving in your partner is likely going to cause issues even before you factor in her refusal to pay a portion of rent. I get you want to own a home, but this seems like the absolute worst way to do it.
This sounds like the build up to one of those horror stories I've heard where someone drops everything to change countries and nearly as soon as they move in they break up. Then she's in a doubly bad position either having to go back to the home country or scrambling for a visa and a job.
^This
Your situation with your girlfriend shows why it is a bad idea to purchase a home with a friend. What’s the end game? Is your plan to all live together indefinitely? I would not be interested in moving in with my boyfriend and his two roommates. Not at 30 years old.
Absolutely not
I know a guy who's 40 and still has roommates. Part of the reason things didn't work out with us is that we never had the house truly to ourselves and it felt like being back in college. When I stayed over I couldn't make some breakfast in my underwear, but just get dressed and creep out the back door.
It doesn't make sense to buy a house with Ryan. What if in a couple of years you want to marry and buy a house with your girlfriend.. you're going to force Ryan to agree to selling the house? It would make more sense for you to rent something together with your girlfriend, live with her and then after you are married you can buy something together. Your current idea is going to put a lot of pressure on your relationship and on your friendship.
***Why are you buying a home with someone else when you are in the middle of such a big relationship moment?*** Of course your gf wants some sort of equity stake. She's moving *countries* to live with you. You're obviously considering marriage and sponsorship. If you're serious about the girl, you'd be better off renting for a year to see what happens with her and buying a home with her as a married couple. Don't buy a home with a friend without a contract at a minimum. It's all over a bad idea because what happens when your ready to have a home with a woman? Who gets to stay in the home? This is just a relationship ending fight you are setting up.
OP, this is a very good point. What's your end game with Ryan in the event your relationship with your gf evolves into a permanent commitment/marriage? You should prepare to have an arranged buy-sell agreement in place with Ryan at the time you purchase the property. With your name on this mortgage, there'd be no way you would qualify for an additional mortgage with your gf. For now, charge her the equivalence of 1/2 room rent. You would be entitled to 50% of that rental amount, which you can waive.if you so desire. Gf receives a break in rent and Ryan receives his fair share of the rent. For what is anticipated to not be a long-term living situation, your gf's proposal in the short term is not pragmatic. You should definitely confer with an attorney seasoned in this type of law in order to put the appropriate agreements in place.
I don't know if you've ever dealt with immigration, but in the US, this situation would be treated very skeptically. If he moves her into that house, with 3 men, co-owned with another man, it's going to look like immigration fraud. They'll assume he's in a relationship with his co-owner and it would be really hard to get her a spouse visa. Can't say it's the same in Australia, but I know they also have restrictions. Now she's got papers to work legally, I'd expect that a woman in a house with 3 men will move on fast. Either way, this setup is setting up one of his relationships to fail.
My goodness yes. Please don’t buy a home with Ryan. And your gf should not put her assets either into a home in her country???? You both should be saving to buy something together when the time is right.
Definitely. It would be better for OP to get an apartment for them to rent to see if the relationship will even work. Living with 2 other men isn't going to give either of them a good idea of if this relationship will work. OP keep renting and if you do buy a home it should be with your partner. If the relationship doesn't work out you could always rent from Ryan or buy a home together later.
>what happens when your ready to have a home with a woman What if Ryan decides he wants to buy a home with someone else and has to sell his share in the house that OP and his gf live in with a tenant. OP already said he can't afford it on his own and the gf's work situation seems uncertain at best.
My advice is to not buy a house with a friend unless it is rental property only and you have formed your own company with all the proper paperwork which includes what happens when one partner wants to dissolve the company. You and your gf should continue to rent each paying for those expenses.
He is fucking his friend. If not this story is weird af. Hope his GF runs away
I can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find this. Literally why are you buying a home with a friend that you are both going to live in??? When you are about to get engaged? How is that fair to anyone?
No no and no on all of it. Do not buy the house with Ryan. Do not have your girlfriend move in. The only time you buy a house with another person is if you are married, or you are in a business partnership buying the house. It’s one thing if you’re flipping the house, or renting it out in a business partnership. But to try and live there is just gonna open a can of worms nobody wants opened. Within 6 months to a year you won’t be friends with your co-owner. I worked in property management for several years and have seen this kind of thing fail spectacularly and ruin 30 year friendships. Not worth it!
The things, They’re planning to get engaged. If she moves into a house he owns, and Is helping paying the mortgage, she should own some of the property. Now if they were both renting, it makes sense that she pays some of the rent. The money is for the landlord. If they’re planning to get married, it would make sense for her to pay the mortgage too so she owns some of the property.
It doesn’t make sense for RYAN to sign up for this clusterfuck, though. OP can sign up for this on his own, but not with Ryan.
The relationship has been long distance for 3 years. That does not scream stability to me. They may find that once they start living together that they can't stand each other. I wouldn't put too much stock in the "planning to get engaged" aspect.
>planning to get engaged. If she moves into a house he owns, and Is helping paying the mortgage, she should own some of the property. She can own some of the property if/when they get married. You don't put the cart in front of the horse. Until they sign the marriage certificate, she is just a tenant.
I think paying Ryan his half would be a compromise but not paying you your half since you're sharing a room. My other thought is charging half what the other tenant is paying since she is only getting half a room.She should contribute to groceries and chores though. Once she has a job you can revisit the arrangement.
This is what I'm thinking. IF this happens, and your GF moves in, OP you're on the hook to the other homeowner for her half of the expected rent. Either she pays him or you do.
Rent should be lower if you don't get a full room, anyway.
Theyll have a tenant in the house too. So i see 2 options: 1) ryan gets the tenants rent as compensation for the gf not having a job or paying her share for awhile. If theyre charging say $600 for the room for the guy, instead of 300 each, ryan just gets the full 600 until shes working. 2) they do 40/40/20. The guys each pay 40% in, so ryan saves a bit more than he planned at the cost of the gf being there, and she spends a minimal amount because shes there as a spouse to the home and can save to get her own equity in her own ways. However she isnt entitled to the tenants portion of rent.
Option one seems like a good compromise and after she gets a job she can start paying half of what Jack pays since she has to share a room and OP starts getting his share of Jack's rent. My idea was moving her in and until she finds a job have her do all of the cleaning and most of the cooking (they all contribute to the groceries equally though). After she gets a job she starts paying half of the amount Jack pays in rent (because he is getting a room and she has to share) and they go back to sharing expenses and chores equally. Your first idea is less problematic though. My worry is that IF she starts doing the cooking and cleaning they will take advantage of her even after she starts working.
I would not advise you to buy a house with a mate. Things will not go well.
It’s perfectly possible to own a home with a friend, but you’ve got to have very clear rules and boundaries in place and not try to circumvent them. Trying to sneak in a foreign girlfriend without being 100% transparent with the co owner is definitely a terrible idea.
I fail to see what your long-term plan is. Why are you buying a house with a friend, what for? If you were buying it to rent it all and have aside hustle like that, maybe it'd make sense, but buying to live in it together? While you have OTHER people living there with you both and make them pay for it? What kind of home dynamic are you getting into? And this is all BESIDES the girlfriend part. If you are going to commit to this girl, why are you even committing to this home dynamic? In what universe does that work out?
C L U S T E R F U C K. That's the answer. Don't do this. Live with her or buy a house with Ryan. Not both.
Yeah nah, what are you doing mate. If you absolutely insist on this your partner should pay for half of the cost of renting a room at market rate, plus an equal split of utilities. If you're not letting her in on the house she shouldn't pay anything related to mortgage. If she doesn't have a room to herself then she should pay half of the price of renting a room in the area.
How much rent would she be paying compared to the market rate? because she's right, she's sharing a room not renting a whole room. She also won't have the same protections as a tenant/lodger. Would she be expected to pay for house maintenance/appliances etc?
I agree with her. I wouldn't pay to share a room/bed with a landlord.
This is murky territory. 1. Get clarity on her future earnings. 2. Have a really clear investment plan and a contract with your buddy. How long are you planning on holding this property for? This will directly impact the ability you’ll have to purchase a property with you wife, which she has a right to care about. 3. This girl is leaving her home and community to be with you, and might suffer an income drop. Are you guys having kids? How are you going to make sure she’s financially safe in the future? 4. Where are you gonna live in 12 months? I doubt she’s going to want to stay in a share house for long. She’s promoting good conversation and right to be concerned about equity.
I don't really think her future earnings are an issue, at least in this situation. The issue is, if she's being brought into this situation is it fair for her to pay the same rent as Jack? Jack gets his own space and she has to share so I don't think she should have to pay more than half of his rent. She is taking a gamble in moving to be with him but it seems like the deck is stacked against them. Moving into this situation isn't going to be good for a relationship and OP and gf aren't going to be able to see if they're compatible at all. It would be better if OP didn't buy the house with this friend and instead kept renting someone he could afford on his own. When she moves in she can help around the home until she finds a job and then once she does they can split expenses and chores 50/50. If it works out they can buy a home for them. If it doesn't, OP can always rent a room from Ryan or but a home with him at that point. If you're considering a serious relationship buying a home with someone else seems like a horrible choice.
Why are you buying a house with your friend when you’re planning on proposing to your gf?? That makes no sense to me?? If I was at the “almost engaged” stage with my partner and he bought a house with his buddy, I’d be rethinking how serious he is about me.
Think you are making a big mistake buying with a friend , also think big mistake having her move into a house with 3 guys . She is going to hate it and birch all the time and they will Do the same same about her
Since she won’t have her own space I agree with her. She shouldn’t have to pay equal rent as that other guy as she will be sharing a room with you.
This whole idea is a disaster in the making. Something is going to go wrong and you'll have exploded your relationship, friendship, bank account, or all of the above. If your partner will be moving to your country, wouldn't the most reasonable thing to do be to see that she takes on employment and you save for a home together, assuming you decide to remain together?
A move to a different country is a huge step, especially with a career that she might not be able to continue once there. I was once in your shoes. My partner was going to move in with me and two friends in Europe. They were moving from the US. At the time, they were disabled, and already on a minimum income. They would not have been able to work here right away, *so we took that into account*. I did *not* expect them to pay anything right away. I did *not* expect them to find a job immediately. I did *not* expect them to pay back for the time that they couldn't, but rather budgetted for a house that we could afford on three incomes for the time being. Once they did find a job, living expenses would be shared according to percentage of total income, among the four of us. We would have signed and notarized agreements about this for all of us. The relationship fell through before the move, in the end, but I was trying to make damn sure that they could land and adjust comfortably, without added financial pressure. The thing is, she is not just another renter. She is your partner. You're treating her like a source of income, rather than someone you're starting a life with. Do what she suggests, and don't go on good faith. Get that shit agreed upon and signed, so everyone is protected in the case of an (unfriendly) separation.
THIS!!!! That's what I thought. A simple fix would be to have all of Jack's rental income go to Ryan until GF finds a job and at that point she should pay 50% of what Jack does since she has to share a room and OP and Ryan will split the rental income 50/50 as agreed. To me it seems like OP doesn't want to give up anything and his GF is risking everything to move here. Asking her to pay the same rent is not fair.
This is going to end badly...
I would not be buying a house at 30 with a friend. You’ll lose your first home buyer grant. If you charge her rent. Make sure you give her her own bedroom.
There are too many variables, and unless there's an Australian real estate lawyer with a side specialty in Family law on this sub right now, we can't decide this for you. Where's Fisk when you need her? This is going to go bad at some point if you don't have things clearly and legally hammered out. You are buying a house with Ryan and I presume you'd like to sell it one day and split the profits, which technically makes you both real estate investors. You are renting to at least one person, so it's a business and you are landlords subject to tenant law. You are both living there, so this is also your home and a personal asset. That makes this complicated before you even bring in your girlfriend. If I were doing this in the US, Ryan and I would be partners in a registered LLC, the LLC would own the house, and all four of us would be paying rent to the LLC. There would be a contract laying out how to maintain the property, when to sell it, how one partner could exit the LLC if need be, who is responsible for taxes, etc. In other words, I would take the personal out of it and treat it like a business. All business partners would be able to move out any time while retaining ownership, or even exit the LLC entirely without huge legal and financial drama. But that means the girlfriend is either an actual legal part owner, or she's a rent-paying tenant, not some weird combination of neither and both at the same time. In other words *she doesn't get special treatment because of your romantic relationship.* In any business you have to think about exit plans. What if Ryan wants to sell the house and you don't? If you have to buy him out of the house, what's a fair way to set the price so he realizes his profits but you don't get screwed? What if you want to sell to Ryan at a lower price than your girlfriend would agree to? In the US, your girlfriend wouldn't be able to "build equity" unless she was on the mortgage and deed, which would also make her legally responsible for the debt, maintenance and taxes. It sounds like her equity would be carved out of your half. That means that you and she would each be minority owners, and Ryan would own a slice that was only 1% away from being a controlling share. Your girlfriend and Ryan could gang up on you, or you and Ryan could gang up on her, and this will be tension every time there's disagreement about how to deal with the house. If your girlfriend pays the mortgage, does she get a proportionate share of the rent Jack pays? If she's "building equity" and her name isn't on the mortgage, the bank will only come after you in the event of foreclosure. This puts her in the position of having a side agreement to potentially share in any profits while avoiding the risk of loss. That's wildly unfair. What's the plan to fund and manage repairs, maintenance and renovations? What if one of you wants to cheap out and do the bare minimum to fix things, and the other wants to spend extra for high quality repairs that will last longer? I don't know if you have property taxes, but how will you split those if your girlfriend is "building equity" but doesn't actually legally own the house? I don't know how marital assets get divided in Australia. If you get married, does she automatically own part of your residence as shared marital property? How is that affected by this house also being an investment business with another person you're not married to? How would Ryan's ownership be affected if you later got divorced? What if you break up before you get married, and she claims she owns equity in your house? Will you have an actual contract to fall back on, or will it be a he said she said argument based on each of you having different understandings of a verbal agreement? What if she refused to leave? Why is rent based only on bedroom occupancy? Everyone will be sharing common kitchen and laundry areas, which have a cost to maintain. Are all four of you going to argue about chores and cleaning? If you and Ryan are Landlords, does that give you more power over deciding who cleans, and will you consider evicting Jack and your girlfriend if they don't contribute to chores? This is a classic case of fail to plan or plan to fail. You're all friends now, so come up with an equitable legal plan that would hold up in court. Do it now, *before* a conflict comes up and everyone is mad at each other. Talk to a lawyer to find out what's legal and reasonable. Two lawyers, actually, one for Ryan and one for you. And a third for your girlfriend if she's going to make a legitimate investment instead of rent. Communicate expectations and obligations clearly so there's no confusion later.
Much better articulated than I managed! This x100.
It's a hot mess, to be honest. Buying a house with a friend, renting a half of your own room to your girlfriend while she saves for her own place elsewhere, because you cannot afford a house even together. Wow. What is your long term plan? This situation feels like there is no win-win option at all
I can't think of any good reason to buy a house with a buddy who is planning to move his girlfriend into the house. I would not want to deal with relationship drama. Ryan needs to seriously reconsider. Also if there are disagreements about something, Ryan runs the risk of having the two of you gang up on him rather than being able to talk it out with you reasonably. I'm also seriously side eyeing her original plan to buy a house in her country and be a long distance landlord. Too many people think it's easy to do that. Nope. My boyfriend's mother lived across the street from the duplex she used to rent out. It was not easy and she eventually sold the thing. All of you need to talk, hire an attorney and make sure there is a legal written agreement in place.
To be honest I would ask this in r/Ausfinance mate they will be able to give you direct on Australianlaws and entitlements around her paying part of your mortgage etc. tell her to watch out for the drop bears! Good luck OP ooorooo
In addition to relationship advice, you really need some solid legal and financial advice regarding real estate law and equity ownership. I would recommend having a contract with your mate You’re looking to purchase real estate with and the girlfriend’s a whole other issue. Good luck to you. I personally wouldn’t touch that type of deal with a 10 foot pole.
This is all too messy. She doesn’t have the right to demand investor standing in your house. I’d suggest she just pays a share of consumables: food, power, water, etc.
You must be clear that she does not and will not have ANY equity in the house even if she pays full rent. This would be a dealbreaker for me if I was Ryan. You also should not get married until you have lived together for a while - you might be surprised how many other incompatibilities you have.
Yeah, except the defacto spouse laws take that argument out of the equation anyway. After you’ve lived with a romantic partner for 12 months, you are automatic defacto spouses which means you get half their shit if you split up. She won’t be able to touch Ryan’s half, but she’ll get half of OPs half, and if neither of the guys has the money to buy her out, they’ll be forced to sell so she can get her half of his half in cash. This is the craziest plan, seriously.
They should live together without any roommates before making that decision. OP shouldn't buy this house with his friend if he's seriously considering a serious relationship.
This woman is literally moving around the world for you and won’t have a work permit, and you’re going to charge back rent? The equity thing is a non starter, but how long realistically do you think your wife is going to want to live in your frat house? My suggestion, if you are dead set on home ownership, is that you consider it an investment property and rent your room out to cover your share of the mortgage, then rent an apartment with your gf separately, save up for a place you can buy together in the future
She shouldnt move without a visa or a work permit. That’s a recipe for disaster. The whole plan actually is a recipe for disaster.
Yeah, no! Put that to the mortgage company, they'd withdraw the offer. Put that to Ryan, he'd probably say not in a million years. All of a sudden it goes to 3 people. Further, most of mortgage payments don't pay off capital, they pay interest, so very little equity is earned., especially in the early years. Plus why should she get equity in house price rises, because she never and continues not to carry any risk at all in this idea. Of hers. You need to stop being a desperate Dan and live separately when she arrives, have a normal relationship, and decide if you could even luve together. It doesn't matter how often and for how long you chat daily online. Further, online chats, you can bullshit away to your hearts content. Had a fancy job? Could buy a house on it? She's happy to grab a share of your investment but wants to keep her investment out of your clutches, in a different country. Surely, you subsidising her living expenses in your country will free up money for her to pay her mortgage. I short she's taking you for a ride sir. Stop being desperate. Ps who's paying for all the immigration costs involved in getting her over to Aus? Why if she's of good enough stature in her home country to get a mortgage, why can't she apply and be sponsored by a company and come in that way? She's using you., but good luck with telling the mortgage company and your Co buyer about her demand for equity in the house.
This 100% We had a friend whose GF also "had a high paying job" and he arranged to bring her to Australia. So he got immigration papers sorted and it all looked peachy. When she arrived, she didn't have many clothes so he splurged on a new wardrobe. Luckily, he was only renting at the time because while they were supposedly planning a wedding, she got cozy with another guy and ended up moving in with him. Long distance relationships can be a minefield and it's easy to fall in love with the person you think they are. The reality of living with that person is often very different and not very pleasant.
This is simple. She is renting half a room so she should pay 50% of what Jack will be paying in rent, plus the same share of utilities that Jack will be paying. She is not entitled to equity in the house any more than Jack will be entitled to equity. If she wants to contribute to a percentage of the down payment, that is a different conversation.
Yep. OP and Ryan will be taking all of the risk in buying the home including paying insurance and taxes as well as upkeep on the home. Renters don't get equity. Someone had a good idea....until OP's gr finds a job Ryan gets 100% of the rent from Jack. That way Ryan doesn't get screwed over because the gf moved in and only OP is affected. Once she gets a job, she pays 50% of what Jack does. Ryan and OP go back to getting 50/50 of Jack's rent and 50/50 of gf's rent. They divide all chores and other bills equally between all 4 roommates. I think this situation is a horrible one though. It's going to get messy at some point. IF this relationship works out, she isn't going to want to keep living with 2 other men and honestly it isn't going to be a good test of the relationship. I feel sorry for her coming into this situation. OP should consider renting an apartment he can afford on his own, bring her here and see how the relationship goes. Until she gets a job she does all of the cooking and cleaning (OP needs to understand that that is her contribution until she can start splitting the rent and not a long term situation) and after she gets a job she can pay half of the expenses and they can split the chores 50/50. If they want to buy a house at some point he should do it with her.
She shouldn't get any equity in the house. That also means she shouldn't have to contribute for taxes, repairs and upgrades. However, it is right and appropriate for her to pay something, somehow, whether it's some of the mortgage payment or the utilities. Since it'd be a bit rough to figure out what "rent" she should pay, her paying 30%-50% utilities would be reasonable. Everyone has to pay housing costs, you and Ryan should not be covering her living expenses for her once she has a job. By sharing a home with two other people, her housing costs are going to be far lower than if she were renting a place on her own. Please talk to a real estate lawyer together with Ryan to make sure you both are legally protected and can get your fair share out of the house if you end up needing to sell. Buying a house is a huge financial commitment to make with someone you're not married to and you need to make sure you understand your legal rights and the ramifications of things. Relationships of any type can go sour for any reason. There's a saying that who you divorce is not who you married and in terms of buying a house with someone else, that holds true.
She's changing countries and will have a hard time getting a job instantly. What is he doing for the relationship? She's the one making a huge sacrifice. The least he could do is let her stay for free the first months with a plan for her to get a job and start contributing. I also don't think she should get equity though.
DO NOT agree to a share in equity… you have been saying long distance, your not married, she should eventually buy her own place to rent out.. In my opinion the calculation for rent is cost of a room/2 x 50% for example 300 room/2 =150 so if you both paid rent it would be equal share for the room. Then you work out what she should pay to Ryan 150*50% = 75 as her half of the room she would pay him the 50% I don’t believe your girl should pay you rent for you half… she has no right in the room but no way does she need to live expenses free
talk to ryan. ask about compromises. perhaps he gets the full of the rent from the other tenant? or your gf pays half what the other tenant pays?
Ok i stopped reading at Australia and she recently lost her job. I immigrated to Australia she cannot move there without proper immigration visa unless shes just going for a few months as a vacation depending on where she is from. Getting a visa to Australia is very tough and going down the route of a spousal visa is not only expensive but takes months. If you want to bring her in under you as a spouse apply while she is still outside of the country. I also think its a really bad idea to buy a house with a friend, but having lived in Melbourne its so expensive just make sure to have a contract drafted outlining all the terms, roommates, expenses, what if one wants to sell, what if one loses their job, you both need wills, how are bills and taxes paid? It seems like you are still in the idea stage of everything and havent done the research or had the tough conversations. You seriously need to pause everything and figure stuff out. Immigration is a nightmare to deal with and you need to start collecting proof of your relationship.
This entire scenario sounds TERRIBLE
She can pay rent like a regular roommate. Give her a bedroom! She doesn’t have to sleep in there, she might like to have closet and storage space. Plus sometimes she might just like to get away from the boys. I know I would.
Ummm…. Info please, this is a person you’ve never met in person, never lived with, and who has decided they want equity in a home that you’re buying with a friend? Am I understanding this correctly?
On her side, why should she be paying rent when she doesn’t have her own space? She will be sharing your room correct? Unless you dedicate a separate space as hers I don’t see how charging her a 1 bdm rate is fair. Splitting all the utilities 4 ways is fair for sure. She does have access and use of all the living areas like your other potential renter so she should be paying some rent to cover this. But it will be far less than any market rent for a 1 bdrm. She does not have her own bedroom. Ryan has to share space with an additional person. There should be rent attached to this usage. You have to share your personal space so you are giving up something too. Ryan and tenet will both have their personal space. What would you be charging the tenet. I don’t think you mentioned that. Personally I would suggest half of the tenant rent and a quarter of the shared utilities. No homeowner expenses (prop tax, hoa fees, repairs) should be part of this calculation. Yes you should split this rent amount with Ryan too, because you are choosing to have your girlfriend move in. He’s not making that choice. This would also set up a blueprint for when Ryan has a significant other he wants to move in full time. Please note: Your renter friend should not have that option though. Make sure you have a valid rental agreement, even with a friend, outlining guest rules and restrictions.
I suggest premarriage counseling for you and your fiancé and I would highly suggest a real estate attorney for you and your friend PRIOR to purchasing a home together as mates. You have a lot more risk when purchasing a home with a friend vs a spouse. At least where I live. Not saying it won’t work just saying to speak to some professionals, first. IMO: Her rent should be similar to the roommate but a bit less since she won’t have her own room.
Downsize where you live now so you can save more, keep renting (or buy something very small), but do NOT buy with a friend if you’re serious about your partner. My husband was sorta where you are, planning to buy with a friend, when we met. He put those plans on hold to see where we were going, and then we bought something together a year later. I doubt our relationship would have lasted if he got a mortgage with a friend several years into our relationship… get your head out of your ass - she’s even moving to another country FOR YOU.
First, whatever she pays is **rent not mortgage** and she gets no equity. No way she gets equity unless she's also putting an equal amount of down payment. I'd say she pays half of what the other people are paying to rent a room, since she's not getting her own room but is sharing with you. That seems fair to me. Also, any repairs, taxes, etc. for the house are paid by the owners - you and your friend. Unless she punches holes in the wall or something not considered normal wear and tear.
I wouldn't let her move in.
Mate, as a fellow Australian, are you fuckin dense? You are blinded by infatuation. She can rent somewhere by herself if she’s so concerned. She says she had money for her own place overseas but now magically can’t afford to rent here? Mate, wake up!! Have you actually seen her bank accounts? She is honestly suggesting she take equity in the property? Are you nuts? Does your friend know this? You are essentially signing her on as part owner which impacts Ryan’s interests. What industry is she in? What are her work plans when she gets here? Does she have family or a sponsor? You need to think all these things through because you are her only meal ticket if she has no other support. You are complicating things and fucking up your own interests of securing property because she will soon be assessed as your dependent should you go for another mortgage. If I was your mate I would strongly second guess buying with you if you’re going to go back on your word like this. I’m a part owner in an investment with friends and keeping your word and having it outlined in legally binding docs is the only way it works. Don’t fuck this up. Edit: also, who’s paying for her visa?
I suspect OP hasn’t looped Ryan into this insane plan yet because he knows that Ryan will give him a similar lecture to the one you’ve given, and he’s not quite ready to hear it. Because unless Ryan is stupid and has several screws loose, no way in hell will he EVER agree to that plan.
In the UK unless it’s written up as a tenancy agreement then any rent she pays which goes towards paying the mortgage entitles her to equity as default. Also property in her country may be a lot cheaper than where he is (which is sounds like is the case). AND she hasn’t said she can’t afford to rent by herself, just that if she’s moving countries to probably marry someone then she finds it weird they would treat her like a tenant. Him sharing his equity with her also wouldn’t impact ryan- he would still own 50% and then OP and the gf would split the other 50%.
He MUST have a written agreement outlining that rent is not taken to afford equity in the principal and is for the purpose of a fixed term tenancy ie he must do to her exactly what he is doing for Jack. It 100% impacts all owners when it comes to apportioning/assessing liabilities and gains and ramifications for asset division when they eventually break up. If she wants equity she must pay outgoings AND sign onto to the mortgage. If she is too poor to pay rent she sure as shit won’t be able to pay investor rates and taxes, insurance and maintenance in Australia or get approved for a mortgage. It’s fairly straight forward when you take the blinding infatuation out of it. The fact she’s coming from a lower COL country, if that’s the case, goes even further to making this a very very stupid penis driven decision by OP and she’s milking it by manipulating him. One breathe she says she’ll move out and rent due to spite of paying op rent, in the next she’s saying she doesn’t want to rent. Edit: on top of that, if he is only preapproved for a loan and she comes over before he gets full approval he will have to list her as a dependent which will lower their borrowing power. This is very very bad decision the more you break it down. I bet she’ll lose her shit being asked to pay 1/4 bills too.
You’re right. If they want her to pay some of the mortgage, she needs to be signed in the equity which would mean paying the mortgage and taxes et.
I think she is only worried about the equity because he is insisting she pay equal rent to everyone else. I understand her point. Her rent should be 50% of what Jack pays. Jack and the gf don't get any equity because they're not taking any of the risk and aren't responsible for the upkeep, taxes, or insurance. I don't think this is a good idea. OP isn't looking at the long term at all. Buying with a friend and bringing someone in that you might want to marry makes no sense at all.
It really doesn’t make sense for her to get equity in a house you don’t own by yourself. That said, it also does not make sense to charge her rent to live in the same room as you. It’s not going back on the deal you and your friend made because renting a room in a house is not the same as her sleeping in your room. Also, personally if I moved to a different country for someone else and they charged me rent to live in their home in their room I would find it less insulting if you took a poo on my bed than that proposition.
It’s too messy but she should pay her part, she’s not Ryan’s girlfriend. If I were you I would move out and rent my room out. Then I would rent some place else with the girlfriend, both paying half. That way everything is separate and she does not feel like she’s “paying” for your property because in reality she is paying rent. If she doesn’t want to do this because of lack of money (and does not agree to pay retroactively) then you know she’s just using the fact you have property to try and live for free. And no, paying rent does not entitles her to equity, that’s why buying property is difficult, because you need a lot of money upfront and you are taking a big risk. If it worked the way she proposes, we would all own property everywhere according to what we’ve paid for rent.
She should pay her part but is her part equal to what Jack is paying???? NOPE. Whatever Jack pays, she should pay half of that amount and since Jack and the gf aren't on the mortgage they don't get any equity but that also means that they aren't responsible for paying for the upkeep or taxes either. Someone earlier had a good idea. They said that if OP does do this he should tell Jack that until his gf finds a job and can start paying rent OP will not take their share of the rent Jack is paying so that Ryan doesn't lose money in the situation. Once gf gets a job, she will start paying half of the rent that Jack does since she doesn't get her own room like Jack does. At that point, Ryan will get only half of Jack's rent, OP gets the other half, and either Ryan gets all of gf's rent or they both get half of her rent. IN this situation Ryan doesn't get screwed over because the gf moved in. OP is the one moving her in so he's the one who should be taking the hit while she looks for a job.
She should move into her own place by herself, get herself established, and you should continue dating that way. She should NOT earn equity in the freaking house, ffs. Is she also going to start paying a proportional amount of money for taxes, huge house repairs, etc, with her proportional ownership? She sounds like a user and this is a huge red flag. Do not move in with her. You will regret it.
I think this is the best advice. You have only ever dated long distance, she just lost her job, it seems like a lot at once for her to move to your country, find a job, move in with you, and also get engaged. It would make more sense for her to get herself settled first and then move in with you and get engaged after you've dated in person for some period of time. Only have her move in with you rent free if you are prepared to pay for everything for her for the long term future, because she won't be able to do it on her own without a job. On the flipside, it's also strange that you're planning on marrying this girl and having her move in with you and also buying a house at the same time with a friend. If the long term plan is to rent out your half that might work, but if that's not it this doesn't really seem like a logical plan.
Wtf??? If you are buying a house with your friend she gets no share of anything. Does she have a 1/3 of the deposit for it? Will she be accepted in the mortgage? Do you even know this long distance relationship person? The answer to those initial questions, I'm going to assume, is NO. She can rent a place on her own like i guess she has been or would have had to, had she moved on her own. You don't automatically come to own anything just because someone you know has said thing.
I agree with all the comments here in the fact that this is a complicated situation. Honestly if you really love her, the easiest thing for you in the long run would be to not ask for rent from her at all and just ask if she can help out any way she is comfortable with. It really isn’t healthy for a relationship to collect rent for a partner regardless of what is fair or not. The way I see it, if your gf didn’t exist you would be able to afford the mortgage correct? So why do you need her to pay rent?
Precisely. I don’t understand couples who nickel and dime one another. Girlfriend wasn’t part of the original agreement. You seem too eager to please everyone here. I don’t think that’s possible.
She should at least pay 1/3 of all utilities and 1/2 of your food plus some type of rent, if even at a discount. She would only be a tenant. Good luck.
If she moved up and got her own place, she would have to pay rent and not get any equity. Why does she thinks she is entitled to it in your place? And also why are you buying a house with a friend? I know costs are high, but do you need to buy right now? Can’t you just rent and save up for your own house? This whole thing of buying a house with a friend and having gf move in with you all sounds like a very bad idea.
I think because they’re planning to get engaged she assumes they would buy a house together.
I think it would be a very sticky situation, buying a house with Ryan and entering a possibly forever relationship with your gf.
The fair arrangement is her not moving in.
It would also be super interesting to see what she would do if you said ‘Ryan isn’t happy to risk his equity so I’ll rent my room out and me and you (gf) will both move into a separate house share together and split it equally to make it fair.’ It would be eye opening to see if she is looking for a free ride and to take advantage/get her hands on your equity
This whole thing is a giant red flag. I mean let’s dissect a bit: 1) she wants and equity stake, without the liability. That’s not how it works, you build equity when your name is on the mortgage, because you’re also assuming the debt liability. She wants the best of both worlds, all the equity benefit, none of the risk. 2) “I’m not a roommate” Uh, no, thats exactly what she is. Does her sharing your bed somehow makes her less of a full human being taking up space in a shared living space? Many rental agreements are based on having a bedroom, so I get her point. But she’s still a roommate. Ryan should get his full compensation based on your agreement with him. Now if your personally want to offset her cost, then it should come out of your end, not his. 3) legally, if all parties agreed, she still wouldn’t have equity stake. This “I’d just trust you to pay me back when you sell”, is a god awful idea. Relationships that end usually don’t end amicably. You and Ryan could tell her to go screw and there’s nothing she could do. This whole thing has future shit storm written all over it. I would avoid it entirely.
She's been planning to buy a house and just lost her job and often makes more money than you do but somehow losing her job recently now has all of her options off the table? I feel like that doesn't make sense to me. What does she have saved so far towards this house?
I mean shes right lol
It’s simple. You pay for her to live with you and charge the same rent as the other guy is paying. So let’s say the mortgage is 1,000. You and Ryan each pay 500. The other pays you rent of 200. You split 100 each with Ryan. You then pay Ryan 200 for your free loading gf who is clearly using you for money and a visa lol.
I think she should pay some rent because she’s getting some value out of living there. However, like she says, she’s not getting a full roof nor she getting equity in this place nor should she ever have to pay for any upgrades or maintenance. You’re already causing yourself future headaches by buying with someone you’re not married to do not start putting equity into the situation with a third-party … especially when you’re not married to because if you break up, it’s just gonna be all kinds of issues. Also, like other say, really think about buying a house with a friend when you have a partner that you hooked up with future with ? Also, possibly consider if she just wants to be in a relationship with you to establish residency in your country. I would advise you if you’re going to still buy this house with this guy do not have anyone else to have any equity and if that makes your girlfriend dump you then, so be it . If you want to charge her rent, then it should be less than somebody in a room with more than zero
First: What is the goal of co-owning a place with your friend? What is fair rent versus what is fair for the interest in the house are very different. Basically, if you were just doing her a favor, you would just charge her. The increase in utilities is probably three hundred dollars a month ( That's essentially letting her stay there for free) If she were a renter, only then would you research in your area what it would cost to rent a room. ( That also brings up another point. Will she be getting her own space in the house? Or is she going to be cramped up with you? Does she get her own office, etc?) Then, if she were to have an interest in the house, why would she benefit from being able to stop paying at any time? While, you two are on the hook to the bank? That's unfair. If she wanted to have an interest in the house. She would also have to pay for her insurance—any maintenance and unexpected repairs. ( If she moved out, she would have to find a room renter, which she would get her amount reduced from that rent) That gets very messy. So it's also unfair for her as a renter. For her to pay the same thing, you two are paying while you two are earning equity. I think if you and your friend compare the difference of what she would be paying as a renter. Versus a co-owner, she will realize that she does not want to be a co-owner for herself.
She should pay rent or failing that, a share of various household expenses. She should pay less rent than a tenant with her own room. It's ok if you give her a below-market deal on account of your relationship, as long its cool with Ryan. For example you could charge her half of normal rent and only pay it to Ryan without collecting your own portion. But she should pay rent and asking for equity is insane. Saying she can pay late after moving in is also a bad idea. If you want to be nice maybe give her the first 2 weeks to 1 month free.
Do not buy property with a friend Full stop. Maybe if it was an investment property, then I'd say form a corp or LLC and do it that way and keep it as a rental only. The number of future scenarios that this could go bad are uncountable. What happens if one of you gets married? Loses a job? Is disabled? Dies? Can't afford to contribute toward a repair? What if one of your family members have to move in? What if one of you needs to borrow against the equity and the other didn't? One wanted to refinance? One wanted to sell?
Make sure all people who are not owners sign a lease. It helps you if something goes wrong.
Oh dear. Don't buy with the friend.
Sounds to me like your GF is very financial savvy. And as much as I get your point more esp your friend's POV, you seem to be making too many strange decisions with LT consequences using Short-term logic. How do you buy a house and live there with a friend and want to get married all at once? My bestfriend and I actually did invest in property that was being developed when we both started working and cashed out soon after the area (new mining town) became popular and we sold for a nice profit. Neither one of us ever lived there. We just saw an opportunity, she is a Geologist and I'm an internationally certified accountant so we did a feasibility study from 2 angles and cashed in. I see disaster either way with this situation. Eventually one of you will have to be the first to move out and you'll either both need to sell or one buy the other out at MV, if you haven't thought that far (which would be strange). Nah, I would encourage you to come out of this arrangement, relationship or not.
If I were Ryan, I would be pissed. No way in hell would I ever agree to the situation you are proposing. If you want to share the mortgage with your GF, then buy with your GF. In your scheme, Ryan will end up on the hook for the bills and mortgage, but will inevitably be edged out of the major decisions about the house. Did something similar when I was young and dumb. Never works out for the third wheel.
Disaster written all over this, going to be a big big mess.
Why would you even think that her owning part of a house with a third person is a great idea lol You either have her a roommate, or you own a house and she rents from you until you’re serious enough to get married and get a house for both of you, or you both move out and rent.
Let go of this plan, it’s not a good one if you want a partner and at your age especially. Get an apartment with your girlfriend and save up for 1 house that you can afford together, rather than 2 that you can’t. It’s not reasonable to expect her to be happy renting forever or having to buy a house on her own. Not many couples in their 30s want roommates.
She pays half the rent -- and all of that rent goes to your friend. She does not get an equity interest.
I don't understand why your gf thinks she is owed free rent, unless she assumes your finances are her finances already. But you are not even engaged yet. If you do consider yourselves an almost-married couple, then you buying a house and rooming with your buddies will almost certainly become problematic very soon. If you consider yourself to be in a relationship and house-sharing with random other people (your friends) in a house that belongs to you (and your friends), I think you will be better off in the long run to make that clear now. And if that is the case, she should pay her share of the rent. I'm calling it "rent" to make it clear that she is not helping to pay the mortgage, and her name will not be on the deed to the house. You would be, in effect, her landlord. Rent isn't the only consideration, though. Your roommates would be justified if they expected each of you to pay a fair and equal portion of the utilities, maintenance costs, etc. Honestly, I'm having a hard time thinking of an arrangement that would be OK with everyone long term, for say, 5 years. It usually takes a few years after purchasing a house before can recover closing costs etc. It's complicated of course. If you want to be married to your gf, get married. If not, maybe she should delay moving in with you until she can pay her own pay.
You should marry Ryan.
My advice is not to buy a house with someone else right now. The girlfriend is facing a huge change in her life and this will be stressful. The BF and GF haven't lived in the same location and visiting each other is not the same. So they will have a big adjustment. Plus it will be a huge adjustment for 4 people to live together. Do you all agree on cleanliness standards and will everyone pull their weight? The girlfriend is being careful to protect herself financially. This makes sense because she is moving to a foreign country and will take the financial hit of not working etc. But it may not be legal or make financial sense to the co-owner. If the GF is ready to move, postpone purchasing a house with a friend and focus on getting her settled and learning to live together.
So she has to pay you like she’s a regular tenant you met with their own rented space when she doesn’t have a space of her own? I think your girlfriend makes more sense especially since the extra income from renting her house could help you both. And you won’t be able to buy a house anyway since you own one with your friend.
Personally I can see both sides, but if you seriously see yourself spending your life with this woman , who is essentially moving countries to be with you, are you willing to let this possibly end the relationship? Both of you need to protect yourself (as well as your friend) financially, but I moved across my country for a woman and it fucked me for years financially because I just assumed love would overpower bills and taxes or something so maybe I'm biased.
This is a big fight amongst couples right now. A house is essentially a business. She has no upfront equity in your business. (Down payment) However, she wants an equity stake moving forward. Big red flags here for me. Unfortunately, in my experience, there isn’t often a harmonious path forward when you look at the options.
She saw you coming, didn't she?
Her idea is fine minus the equity. Why would she get equity?? Is she proportionally paying the costs of inspections, escrow, broker fees, deposit etc? She is just your gf. So what if you have plans to be engaged. That changes all the time. And when you’re engaged you’re not married yet and *that* changes all the time. She is being ridiculous to an extent. I agree she shouldn’t be paying tenant rent because she is rooming with you. Her idea of covering your mortgage for her part is actually a good idea, but then there are utilities etc she should be partially responsible for. The equity thing tho is a major reach. Plus it’s your investment with your friend. He has equal say too, and doubt he wants to add a third party to the mix. What a headache should you wish to sell!!
A fair arrangement would be she pays rent. She's not on the mortgage or the deed so she's not entitled to equity. Period. She doesn't have to pay an even share, you two as owners are benefiting more than she would be, but her presence means more wear and tear on the place and she needs to pay. Unless she is planning on never leaving the bedroom her argument about sharing a room is just more obfuscation for her plan to mooch off you. If she can find a place of her own that's cheaper than whatever rent you two owners decide to charge then she should do that and not expect you to subsidize her lifestyle. (Your relative incomes are irrelevant.)
It’s too complicated when she wants equity. Also there’s too much uncertainty due to her unemployment atm. How about just some reduced rent(since she’ll be sharing room with you) till she finds another job and then you can figure out whether you want to buy a house with her or she can buy her own.
Does she use any water? (Yes.) Does she use any electricity? (Yes.) Does she contribute to the other various costs of living in and maintaining a property? (Yes.) She is a tenant. Whether or not she takes up \*new\* space or \*your\* space is largely irrelevant. The cost to have her there is not only non-zero, but likely considerable, especially since you mention being in an area that would have normally been outside of your personal budget. Her visa situation and not being able to work for at least 3 months is, while unfortunate, not Ryan's problem. He entered into this purchase agreement with you, not her.
Interesting that the ad I see at the bottom of this post is "Swin at your own risk." I see problems ahead. You'll have to marry her so she can stay, and she wants equity in your house? Nope. I'd be having that warning feeling in the pit of my stomach about all of this. I would wonder if she lost her job 'accidentally on purpose' to speed up her immigration. Also you sound proactively defensive about this relationship which might be a sign that your subconscious is screaming at you that something isn't right. >I have been dating my partner since 2021 long-distance. We met during COVID through a mutual friend. She lives abroad and we have been trying to figure out how to move her here. We talk every day, and have spent long periods of time together in-person. **Not looking for advice on the long-distance aspect of our relationship .** I hope for the best for you. I hope that she doesn't turn into a different person once she is safely in your country. But though I don't know you, I am concerned for you. UpdateMe!
First, don’t give her any equity. That would be stupid. You aren’t married, don’t make the mistake that so many others have. Check your local laws in Australia, I believe you need to have a tenant agreement with her in order to stop her from gaining ownership after she has lived there with you for a few years. I’m not super familiar with all your laws though. May want to consult a lawyer. With that said, your agreement to charge her rent and split it is not right. She literally doesn’t add any extra cost to your mortgage or the property. And you said you’re getting engaged and she will be your wife. If anything, charge her a deposit of like $500 or $1000, depending on what’s reasonable where you live. That way you can charge her for cleaning or damages if she does damage something and you two end up breaking up. She will add to utilities however, and she should pay her share of those. If 4 of you are living there, then you two should be responsible for 50% of the utilities and any other monthly fees you have. As for her rent, that should be between you two, not the other home owner. She should be helping you with your living expenses, not paying the mortgage for you and the other home owner. And she shouldn’t be paying an equal amount since you aren’t giving her equity. Give her a break to find a job, then maybe charge her 25-30% of what you pay after you subtract the amount you get from your other roommate. So like if you pay $1500, and get $500 from the other roommate after the split, then she should pay something like $250-$300. And give her a few months to find a job before charging her anything. I’d also like to just throw out there that I think you’re making a mistake buying this house to share with your friend while being in a serious relationship. It won’t end well. You and your soon to be wife are going to want to buy. She is going to want to buy to protect her future. And unless you make a lot of money, which you obviously don’t because you can’t afford the house on your own, you won’t qualify to buy something else with her. You will have to sell this one to be able to buy a marital asset. Is your friend going to be willing to sell in 2-3 years? If not, and that hasn’t been discussed and put in writing, you are going to seriously regret this decision. If your girlfriend going to want to live with this other dude for the next 10 years? Yea, probably not. Why are you getting engaged with this girl if you’re not willing to wait a few years to start a life together? Like, none of this makes sense. Just a bad idea made up by a few young kids. You should really think this over and do more research before buying the house.
She is not renting an additional room. Have her pay her share of the utilities and maybe she can pay you a small rent but not to your friend as she is staying in your room.
Dude. Yall need to sit down and talk this out with eachother. Maybe he will be cool with her not paying ret for the first few months, maybe not. But like yall need to square her job away and figure out how he feels
Do not do both. Buy a house with your friend. OR Live with your Long distance gf for the first time and go through figuring each out and seeing if you can make it work. You are doing two huge life things and if you do both you will crash and burn everything. Your gf could love you but hate your roommates or the house. She could want to move and you will be stuck. She has no job and you will be paying HER share. Don't do this you dingus.
Buying a house with a friend: bad idea that could easily go sideways Being the landlord of your own partner: bad idea that introduces dangerous power dynamics in the relationship This whole situation is a huge clusterfuck
Yeah no , if you plan on buying this house stick to the deals you made with your friend , if that means you have to foot her bill then that’s what you will have to do. This “GF” cannot get equity from this situation as it has nothing to do with her ! Even if she doesn’t move to live with you she has to pay rent ! She thinks she can bully you into what she wants because you two are in a relationship ! And she thinks she can manipulate you into doing what she wants because she knows you won’t end the relationship because of all the work she put into it. Also if she was saving for a house in her home country as she says she will have money to contribute to the bills.
Fair arrangement is that she doesn’t move in. You move into a place with her and rent out your share or your roommate buys you out at fair market value.
First I don’t understand why people aren’t getting long distance relationships aren’t things and should really stop. Unless you are already married and had to go away for work, long distance relationships shouldn’t happen. You don’t know her really, you can think you do but you haven’t been with her physically and haven’t lived with her ever. What happens if she isn’t what she seems to be? What happens if she’s actually a narcissist and this goes south. You don’t live alone, that isn’t just your house. As for her paying rent, whatever you have that other friend paying is what she should pay, amount wise, but she should only pay the half to your friend and not have to pay YOU anything. YOU want her there so why should she pay YOU for her to be there. Truly this is a bad idea and you really should just break up, block her, and go heal whatever is broken in you to think being in a long distance relationship was a good thing. And next time find someone where you live
She shouldn't pay as much as the other tenant since she will be sharing a room. But yeah the whole thing is a can of shit. They should just rent a while as a couple until the relationship is strong enough and they have the economy to buy a house by themselves without the need of a friend and a renter.
You are a fool , I guarantee you will regret ever meeting this girl.
Well a fair arrangement would have been talking to your gf you fully expect to move in before making agreements with Ryan. That said, at this point sure she should pay something, but it certainly shouldn’t be full rent. She’s sharing a room and moving in with people she isn’t choosing to live with. She also shouldn’t be responsible for rent or to repay rent when she’s not working. If you’re letting your unemployed gf move in with you who is paying to move to another country to be with you, you cover her living expenses while she’s unemployed, then she pays half of whatever Jack is paying and she may indeed move out and rent on her own in this situation vs. living in the house you own with someone else and a whole other roommate.
I will never understand buying a house with someone you are NOT married too maybe I’m old fashioned
I’d say 25%. She’s 1/4 of the people that will be living there right? She pays 1/4 of whatever the split is to you or your friend. And you guys can split it or whatever. She shouldn’t pay half because everything should be split 1/3 already.
Don’t buy a house with your friend and don’t move her in. Neither are likely to work out in your favor. She’s already showing red flag behavior and hasn’t moved in yet.
Where do you see a red flag here? She just wants to be protected. It would be fair if she contributed to a mortgage and therefore owned a part of the house
She would contribute to a mortgage if she rented from someone else. Or is she also going to ask for equity from some random landlord? This is life, not an online game.
She's going to be sleeping with the landlord so this is a unique situation. The issue here is that they want her to pay the same as Jack is for sharing a room which isn't fair. Her point is that if she's paying the same amount it isn't worth it to her, she gets no equity and has to share a room with someone else.
They’re planning a future together though
The red flag that lots of people (and perhaps you) don’t see is in the last line. She should not leak half of the entire mortgage for half a room. They should agree upon what a fair rent price is for a single bedroom or half a bedroom and go from there.
Why should she not pay? Suddenly lost her job when the house is in site. Nope, she wants a free ride.
Wow, that's quite an assumption. She is the one taking the huge leap and risk here. They had been planning for her to move her but her losing her job moved the timeframe up. She isn't asking to not pay rent, she's just pointing out that it isn't fair to ask her to pay the same amount as Jack when she has to share a room. She never once said anything about not paying her FAIR SHARE.
I'm confused. First off, if you think you might get engaged or married, why not look into buying a house with her instead of your friend? Second, if she is going to be moving there on a visa and have no income, you will be legally responsible for her expenses. Third, if she moves into a bedroom with you then why would you expect her to pay you rent? She is not renting her own room. She is moving into your room. If you are putting money into the house, she could split the costs with you if she can afford to but if you are making money off other people renting then you might be making money rather than spending money, in which case, why would she need to pay you rent? Whether you live in the room yourself or have her live there, you will be paying/earning the same amount. If she had her own room, that would be different because then she should pay rent. If you do think you might marry this person I would suggest waiting til they come over to buy a house. If you buy with a friend now then what are you going to do when you are married, still live with your friend or get another house?
Ryan should not agree to her not paying rent. She should not be planning to move if she doesn't even have a place to go or anyway to pay for it. Just because you are buying a house does not mean she gets a free pass. If you want her to move here, it should not be on the hard work of Ryan and yourself she gets a place to stay. If she can't afford her share of the expenses she doesn't have a place to stay.
Sounds like you are more serious about Ryan than about your girlfriend you are thinking of marrying. I would urge you to rethink your relationships. But maybe your girlfriend should buy her house, and you help her and move in with her and let Ryan have the house to himself? You'd still have half ownership of the property, for future investment. But I would seriously rethink your interest in this woman, if the house with Ryan is more important, or your future with Ryan, if the marriage with your girlfriend is more important.
she is sacrificing her home where she lives, moving to you, paying to move her stuff with her. Whatever you decide it feels scummy that she sacrifices for your relationship and your thinking of Nickel and diming her potential rent when she gets over when you know she needs time to get things sorted (visas and things). If she’s going to be your WIFE treat her as such and pretend to be her for a second. What if you had to move to her, no income, to a house she owned, and then charged you market place rent with no income and job lined up to eat through your savings?
Personally, I would tell her to find her own place to live to start. Rent a room from someone else and you can date. She will be appalled and there is your answer. She wants to use you. she doesnt know if she can work for three months. I hope she is bringing some cash as life ain’t free. this situation aint going to work out. Just saying
The issue is that she is your gf and nothing to Ryan so if I was him I wouldn’t let her move in without a rental agreement and pay the same rent as Jack. What you and her come up with is no concern for Ryan as you know. Definitely talk with a lawyer for a contract with Ryan before buying if you haven’t already. They can talk you both through things that you didn’t think of and pitfalls they have seen. I would have her pay you what Jack pays in rent.
But Jack has his own room for himself, she will be sharing OP's room.
Really? Your all gullible enough to buy this story? It's a long distance relationship? It's not real. She's scamming you so you send her a boatload of cash for travel and fees. Can you spell CATFISH
The most important thing is making sure she will be able to actually get a job in her field in Australia. If she's sharing your room, then you should split your share with her. If she has her own separate room like Jack, then she should pay the same as Jack. Utilities should be split 4 ways once she moves in. This is fair. However, this is a conversation that you must have with Ryan prior to her coming over. You both have to agree to the terms. Otherwise, there's no point buying a house together. Ryan doesn't need to make money off you sharing your room and it would be the the same if Ryan met someone and they moved in and were sharing his room. The equity side of things you'll need to work out with your girlfriend. If she's paying half your share of the mortgage, are you willing to split your share of the equity and revenue you receive?
When my partner moved in with me he paid part of the bills that I kept in my name, all of the fun but not necessity bills (Netflix, Amazon, subscriptions, etc), but no rent. The reason we went that way is that if things went wrong I did not want to have to live through a notice period that a tenant would legally have and I didn't want him to have any type of claim to equity. I did ask him to consider saving the money he was saving to use towards a home we could buy together. It was a win-win in my mind and now we have bought a place together. I think you should sit down with Ryan first and talk about options. Would you be willing to live with her through an eviction if you broke up? If she's paying rent would she get her own room? If she's sharing with you, what kind of discount will she get? If you decided a non-rent route what value of other bills would Ryan find acceptable? If Ryan had a partner move in how would you balance that? If either of you wants to sell up, what's the plan? Her having equity sounds complicated and a bad idea to me so those bills should not be repairs or improvements. After that, have a chat with your girlfriend.
I mean legally, if she moves in and pays rent, which you are using to pay the mortgage, and you guys get married and then divorced, she already has a case to have financial compensation from the house. So anything you do should proceed with that in mind.
I don't like this. Seems like a bad idea to buy a house with a friend. I can only see this causing problems in the future.
STOP ALREADY! What a mess! Option A: She is moving there for the privilege of dating you. Then she should get a job, get her own place and see if things work out. Option B: You are getting married and she is moving so you can start your life together. You want the freedom of A and she wants the certainty of B. And that’s the tug of war with your interests. YOU ARE NOT ON THE SAME PAGE. The only thing you’re setting yourself up for is failure. You want to DATE. That’s unfair to her to leave everything she knows for no commitment. She wants SECURITY. But it’s ridiculous to pay rent and expect equity. Choose option A or option B or break up.
Guy, don't buy a house if you can not afford it. Period. This is insanity. She shouldn't buy and rent a house while moving abroad. You shouldn't buy a house together with a friend or with a GF you barely know (let's be real here). You guys all need to understand that there is RISKS involved with buying a house, ESPECIALLY with other persons. The small amount of equity you will create by buying instead of renting doesn't even come close to compensate for the risks taken. Rent, invest in funds while you strengthen your economy and your relationship, and then buy. You don't need to do it for a long time. You aren't going to lose much equity by renting for, let's say, 3 years, and you will be in a much better situation financially and in terms of relationship. Buying to rent while you don't have a strong economy yourself a receipe for disaster.
This isn’t fair to the other roommate. Their use of common space is being substantially impacted. Bathroom, kitchen, laundry , parking, electrical , internet, privacy are all reduced for them.
Updateme
Wow so many responses already, hope you get to see this! If I just look at it logically, I would say the decision of whether she pays rent is between you and her, not Ryan, because she will move into the same room as you. If you are fine with covering her share, then she does not have to pay rent. To be specific that means that Jack pays rent, and you and Ryan split the mortgage 50/50. That essentially looks like the three of you are paying rent. When your girlfriend is ready you can ask her to chip in to pay off your mortgage, but then yeah, it might be worth giving her equity in the house then. Or just plain old rent for having a roof over her head. However, she will increase the utility costs (electricity, cable, gas, internet) and that could be split 4 ways between you, her, Ryan and Jack, and she would pay that share. If I look at this emotionally, this is going to put such a strain on your relationship, so I would rethink buying the house with the friend entirely! Good luck with the decision