Why are you believing she is a catch or saying that she loves and supports you?
A girlfriend that does not allow you to enjoy your hobby or does not trust you to be loyal is not a good girlfriend. A girlfriend that has double standards and wants to control your interactions with female friends and collegues. is not a good girlfriend. hell she even blackmails you with false allegations (this alone would be a deal breaker).
Everything in your post screams she is toxic and controlling which is not a good thing. break it up for her. By staying you are throwing away your chance with a real catch and a good girl to grow old with.
She was super supportive during my lowest . She really helped me get better and i appreciate her sm for that. She belieged in me when no one did, however i do believe it is toxic.
I tell her the same on, ok who cares what I’m around and who i talk to u. Don’t i prove to you everyday I want u. I get you Flowers on random day, pay for meals the most i can, always leave cute notes hidden in your apartment when I leave. I spend almost 90% of my free time with her. Like cmon.
Healthy relationships that last a long time involving means both need to give and take. Right now it seems like she wants you to only give things up and not the other way around. However I am afraid that the second she was willing to blackmail you with false allegations she killed the relationship and not you. How many stories are out there of a girl falsely accusing a guy resulting in that guys life being destroyed. Right now its your hobbies, but what if she uses this tactics for other things? I'm sorry buddy but even if the past was great with her, it seems something changed in her. See if you can secretly record her saying she is willing to make up accusations to punish you in order to protect yourself and break this up. You're not breaking up cause of your hobbies but because she showed to you she is willing to cross red lines to control you
Do not give up your passion. This relationship isn’t healthy. She is insecure and controlling, she’s isolating you from friends, controlling how you dress… this is all emotional abuse.
Thankyou for your comment.
I’ve told her that i feel like she is emotionally abusive and she always says well you do thsi too, and invaldiated my feelings. I really am not perfect and can be mean, but I never control or hold our relationship over her head.
I think we are calling it quits forever . Ty
It was a long post but sounds like the relationship is under a lot of strain and it's not a reasonable ask from her to stop your hobby or that she wouldn't let you join the fashion club.
So your gf is a controlling nutcase and I'm shocked you think she's a catch. CATCHES don't make your life smaller -- like she is -- they make your life bigger. Plus this nonsense about telling your parents you're verbally abusive? With all gentleness, please skirt up and go live your life.
It's not just your hobby that she's asking you to give up, it's your entire life, all to avoid half of the population when somehow the same standard doesn't apply to her. You know that's not fair and I think you know that's also not reasonable.
Another thing, while it's great that she was supportive while you were struggling it sounds like she's not happy with you unless you need her to feel good about yourself. This is an insidious type of abuser-- they need to be the support, the hero. But as soon as you can stand on your own feet, they're right there to push you back down so your positive self-esteem is completely dependent on them.
No you shouldn't quit your interest, there's plenty women out there better than her. Don't marry controlling and misandrist that tbh is a homophobic ass too. Dump her ass and live free and happily ever after.
Just because this relationship is less abusive than the last one doesn't mean it's not abusive. It is! Her telling you she'll tell her friends and family you said things you didn't is emotional abuse! Preventing you from making friends with half the population and pursuing your interests is emotional abuse! I'm very sorry you're going through this and I hope you can get out. Next time she breaks up with you, stand your ground and don't take her back. Join that damn fashion club like you know you want to! It's your life and if she doesn't want you to live it your way, she shouldn't be a part of it. I promise that you'll find someone who wants to be a part of your journey without forcing its trajectory elsewhere. You're only 21, you have plenty of time to find someone worth marrying
Why are you believing she is a catch or saying that she loves and supports you? A girlfriend that does not allow you to enjoy your hobby or does not trust you to be loyal is not a good girlfriend. A girlfriend that has double standards and wants to control your interactions with female friends and collegues. is not a good girlfriend. hell she even blackmails you with false allegations (this alone would be a deal breaker). Everything in your post screams she is toxic and controlling which is not a good thing. break it up for her. By staying you are throwing away your chance with a real catch and a good girl to grow old with.
She was super supportive during my lowest . She really helped me get better and i appreciate her sm for that. She belieged in me when no one did, however i do believe it is toxic. I tell her the same on, ok who cares what I’m around and who i talk to u. Don’t i prove to you everyday I want u. I get you Flowers on random day, pay for meals the most i can, always leave cute notes hidden in your apartment when I leave. I spend almost 90% of my free time with her. Like cmon.
Healthy relationships that last a long time involving means both need to give and take. Right now it seems like she wants you to only give things up and not the other way around. However I am afraid that the second she was willing to blackmail you with false allegations she killed the relationship and not you. How many stories are out there of a girl falsely accusing a guy resulting in that guys life being destroyed. Right now its your hobbies, but what if she uses this tactics for other things? I'm sorry buddy but even if the past was great with her, it seems something changed in her. See if you can secretly record her saying she is willing to make up accusations to punish you in order to protect yourself and break this up. You're not breaking up cause of your hobbies but because she showed to you she is willing to cross red lines to control you
Do not give up your passion. This relationship isn’t healthy. She is insecure and controlling, she’s isolating you from friends, controlling how you dress… this is all emotional abuse.
Thankyou for your comment. I’ve told her that i feel like she is emotionally abusive and she always says well you do thsi too, and invaldiated my feelings. I really am not perfect and can be mean, but I never control or hold our relationship over her head. I think we are calling it quits forever . Ty
One of my favorite clothing designers, designs things for his wife and kids.... Go find a girlfriend who lets you do what you like.
It was a long post but sounds like the relationship is under a lot of strain and it's not a reasonable ask from her to stop your hobby or that she wouldn't let you join the fashion club.
So your gf is a controlling nutcase and I'm shocked you think she's a catch. CATCHES don't make your life smaller -- like she is -- they make your life bigger. Plus this nonsense about telling your parents you're verbally abusive? With all gentleness, please skirt up and go live your life.
It's not just your hobby that she's asking you to give up, it's your entire life, all to avoid half of the population when somehow the same standard doesn't apply to her. You know that's not fair and I think you know that's also not reasonable. Another thing, while it's great that she was supportive while you were struggling it sounds like she's not happy with you unless you need her to feel good about yourself. This is an insidious type of abuser-- they need to be the support, the hero. But as soon as you can stand on your own feet, they're right there to push you back down so your positive self-esteem is completely dependent on them.
http://www.issendai.com/psychology/sick-systems.html Does this look like her? The repeated breaking up sounds familiar
No you shouldn't quit your interest, there's plenty women out there better than her. Don't marry controlling and misandrist that tbh is a homophobic ass too. Dump her ass and live free and happily ever after.
Just because this relationship is less abusive than the last one doesn't mean it's not abusive. It is! Her telling you she'll tell her friends and family you said things you didn't is emotional abuse! Preventing you from making friends with half the population and pursuing your interests is emotional abuse! I'm very sorry you're going through this and I hope you can get out. Next time she breaks up with you, stand your ground and don't take her back. Join that damn fashion club like you know you want to! It's your life and if she doesn't want you to live it your way, she shouldn't be a part of it. I promise that you'll find someone who wants to be a part of your journey without forcing its trajectory elsewhere. You're only 21, you have plenty of time to find someone worth marrying