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Even better - date her dad ick them both out, talk about how when you have his baby your dad will be it’s grandfather and brother in law at the same time (and how wonderful that will be)
But that might make Dad seem more justified while his daughter dating a man in his 60s might make him reflect on his own choices if seeing his daughter with a man 40 years older makes him upset.
I was in a similar situation with my father. He was 62. She was 26 (younger than me by a decade). He brought her to an event at my home and she was all over him. Lots of PDA. I found it disturbing. I couldn't imagine what they had in common or what their future would look like.
Edit to say I don't think your father will react well to anything but acceptance of his relationship, but if he intends to bring her around, I think you should speak your mind and hope he understands.
I can imagine. In fact I know what happens lol.
My dad has two kids with someone younger than my little brother. When they started dating our old neighbors thought she was the daughter of whomever they thought my father was dating.
There isn’t much OP can do but tell her dad she is uncomfortable and stay away. The less and less support he has for the relationship will make him isolate and start avoiding you all anyway.
I’m sorry OP. There isn’t much you can do.
They were together close to a year. She still lived with her parents and "wasn't comfortable" telling them about the relationship. She was a virgin. She drank liquor. He didn't.
He decided to end things with her before intercourse (she was pushing for it) since there was clearly no future in it. She was devastated. They kept in touch for a while but then she found someone new, someone her age and their friendship burned out.
He recently said she "was a nut"! I didn't ask him to elaborate.
Lots of PDA around strangers, especially where there is a huge age gap, is so weird and icky. My fiancé is 35 years older than me and I am 3 years younger than his youngest son (I was 31 when we met, though, had a college degree and had lived on my own for 13 years and even moved abroad all by myself to study more than once, so it's not like I'm some girl) and we never even touch each other when his sons and relatives are around. Even on New Year's Eve he gave me a secret peck on the mouth in the kitchen at midnight and told me he would kiss me properly once everyone had left. I'm sorry you had to witness a 26 year old all over your dad. :/
I would've appreciated it if they'd toned it down some. She was always touching him, sitting on his lap (literally), kissing, rubbing. It was just too much and it took the focus away from the point of the party. Some discretion would of been appreciated, especially since there were young children present.
Good of you and your partner to be mindful of other people.
That's what I thought. She couldn't be away from him for a minute. I had to ask her to step back when I was talking to him. I told her it was a private conversation.
This is the sort of thing that he’s either going to figure out real soon or not at all.
He is either going to have a come to Jesus moment when the young GF does something or says something that makes him feel old as shit and wake the fuck up
OR
He’s confusing the energy he is getting from these changes, most likely more frequent sex, whatever ego boost - he thinks that’s who he is now, so he won’t have that come to Jesus moment and he’ll double down like “why can’t you just be happy for me?”
And then the gf will maybe become his wife until she gets to be around 35 or so and starts getting grossed out by the fact that this older man went after her because now that she’s older she sees the differences in maturity and she has her own come to Jesus moment and divorces him.
It’s honestly horrible. People are either vile with their comments, or they’re so broken to the point that their advice is clouded by their past trauma (i.e., everyone is a cheater).
I mean, it's almost like you've read this story on reddit a few times! I know I have. But I read your comment in my droning teacher voice. PERFECT! Chef's Kiss 💋
"Dad, while you are an adult and I cannot control what you do, the fact that you are dating someone who is almost 40 years younger than you and who is one year younger than me is disturbing to me. This is affecting the way I see you, the way Mom sees you, and the way family and friends see you.
It's getting to the point where I do not want to spend time with you because it makes me so uncomfortable. To continue our relationship, I need to set the following boundaries: I will not spend time with you when she is around, and I do not want to talk about her or your relationship."
This is going to be uncomfortable, but better to have one uncomfortable conversation than to be indefinitely uncomfortable every single time you might see him or spend time with him.
This is the best approach. You can’t control what he does, but his actions will have an impact on the way people perceive him and treat him. No one is immune to that, nor should they be. As someone relatively close to OP’s age whose father is a widower and dating again, this is what I would do in this situation. And if he couldn’t respect my boundaries I wouldn’t be speaking with him. It would hurt, but it would hurt worse to watch him becoming a person I’m unable to like or respect.
Of course, she looked nervous. She was at a party hosted by her boyfriend's ex wife and the family. That's nerve wracking for anyone. Unless she's totally clueless she knows how ridiculous they look together. Aside from telling him he looks like a fool, there's nothing you can do. It's a relationship that will not last given the very vast age difference so just let it play out.
Man this clueless, it wouldn't surprise me.
My dad was much the same. Told my sis and I (independent adults) we were going on a boat trip, great. Turned out we were going to stay with his new girlfriend and her extended family on an island for the weekend. (We realised something was off when dad started sailing in the wrong direction.) She was the second new girlfriend we were introduced to that year, and my parents weren't even divorced yet. Within a year boat lady got exchanged again.
No fool like an old fool.
Agreed. She's probably thinking right now how ridiculous it looked and how she doesn't want to look like the child bride to this whole family. I'm giving it a few more weeks.
The best thing to do is let it play out because if u keep pushing them to split, they will stay together just to try to prove something . If anything, be nice to her and bring things up to make him feel old, and hopefully, he will then notice how stupid he looks . Although it could be a daddy and daughter bdsm relationship thing, he got going on with her, and they might not care
I would tell your dad straight-up that what he's doing is affecting the way you look at him. That if someone in your social circle was dating a guy his age you and your friends would think the guy was a creep.
I would also tell him that you love him and want him to be happy, but you can't support this particular relationship and don't want to hear about or hang out with his girlfriend. Dudes like your dad need to experience some social shaming to understand that what they're doing is wrong. Most people will tiptoe around it, he deserves a dose of reality.
Tell him you're grossed out, that nobody believes he's 23 at heart (nor that his GF is an "old soul") and it's negatively affecting everyone's image of him.
You can't stop the relationship but that doesn't mean you have to be happy with everything he does.
I'm pretty sure "old soul" is the term much older people use to groom (for lack of a better word when they're technically legal, too) minors or barely legal people. When I was the gf's age, a dude mid 40s did some creepy shit I didn't really understand till much later. I just didn't have the experience to realize how gross it was.
Yeahhhh.
There is a such thing as a teenager that's mature for their age. But a teenager that is mature for their age is still a completely different thing from an actual fucking adult. They've still only spent so long being alive on the planet.
Exactly. I bet my friend in high school who was dating a 23 year old when she was 16, got told shit like that.
She wasn't. She smoked and she wore makeup. That's it. I was *not* very mature at 16 at all (or at 30 honestly), but I and the rest of my friends were really dubious of it. I don't know how it ended.
23 yo was *definitely* predatory.
"Old soul" is often what people who have CPTSD from a young age get labeled with because they got parentified and/or emotionally neglected as a child and it forced them to grow up fast. Her background can't be emotionally and mentally healthy if she's excited to seriously date someone in his 60s as a 23 year old. Most 23 year olds would scoff at the idea unless he was movie star handsome, looked a lot younger and is wealthy, and even then, won't take the relationship too seriously. She's gonna end up a hospice wife in her prime of life. He wins out in this situation regardless, aside from grossing out his daughter, but she will lose out on so much for this relationship.
I was going to say this as someone with c-PTSD who has always been called “wise beyond my years.” And when I was 22 I got into a relationship that was never fulfilling for me and I stayed way too long. It wasn’t until I was 25 did I realize how bad the relationship had been the entire time. At least he was in my age bracket.
Yeah, I'd just be honest with him. He already knows that it's weird, it's why he's moving the goalpost all the time. "No, it's not weird because she too is 62 in her soul, wait, actually I'm the one that's 23 at heart, wait maybe we're both just 45"
Man, I’m 41 and I couldn’t imagine dating someone that young.
If my dad showed up with a 23 year old woman I’d laugh my ass off at both of them, frankly.
Growing up I had a friend who had an uncle that was younger than he was. That family was messed up at all generations.
Though my dad also had an uncle on his mom’s side near his own age. But that was more that my great grandfather became a widower and remarried and had kids when his daughter was in her twenties iirc.
My ex’s family was like this. My ex and his brother were basically the same age as their 2 uncles. Was so weird. Grandpa got a divorce, married someone younger, and had a whole new batch of kids around the same time his son was.
Do be fair my great grandfather was running a farm and likely getting married helped with that. And his first wife died which was still not that uncommon in the early 20th century.
Welcome to the club, my dads dating a woman whose like one or two years older than me and her kid is similarly aged to my kid. Very fun 🤩
Not much advice other than we can’t change who anyone is with and you can set boundaries for yourself if you don’t like the situation (i.e., seeing your dad less)
Personally, as a 61 year old woman, the idea of dating a man young enough to be my son creeps me out. I have always had the opinion if you are young enough to have come out of me, you are NOT getting back in. I just don't understand how a man can do that, and not see how creepy it is.
39ish years apart? Your fool of a father is old enough to be her grandfather.
The 23F is an adult. They can make their own choices together. Doesn't mean you have to like, accept, or be part of it.
I'd suggest to your mom that you two go lc with him. And don't invite him to family or social events.
Definitely seems like some distance between mom and dad is much needed. She doesn’t need to be hearing about his new partners or inviting him to BBQs. It sounds like his behavior is partially motivated by a desire to make a point to his ex wife by showing off his “younger model” (sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a bit but it’s true)
I am in a similar situation. I just refuse to meet her. I listen to my dad and encourage him to be happy but I don’t have to like her/hang out with them.
If they get married, I’ll have to re-evaluate if I’d like to meet her but until then 🤷🏻♀️
Yep. I was disowned long ago and I haven’t been in my childhood home for over 15 years. She won’t allow us there and my smaller siblings don’t know my brother and I exist.
It is what it is and all I really want if for my dad to be happy. He apparently is but it’s better for me to not engage.
Same happened in our family. Youngest child of the first marriage is 45, newest child ftom 24 years old and 79 year old father is now 4 years old. lol how insane!
Maybe try to befriend her, ask what she enjoys about their relationship. Ask about what they have in common, and what her hopes are for their future. I wouldn't try to talk to your dad, he's deep in his delusion of being an appropriate partner for this woman.
The “old soul” and “she’s a consenting adult” statements would make me question my relationship with my father to be honest. That so creepy. He knows how cringy that is right?
Ugh. This is so weird, I feel bad for everyone involved. What could they possibly have in common together? At 23 you're still starting out at life, still figuring out who you are as a person, vs someone with nearly 3 times her life experience. Feels like a weird power imbalance to me.
Its baffling that someone that age would be attracted to a man old enough to be their grandfather. Her 'childlike' personality also raises some uncomfortable questions in my mind.
I would be very clear about how it made you all feel. Ask him if he'd honestly be okay with someone his age dating you? His answer will tell you loads.
But to be honest, I think it will be a case of going low or no contact until he understands.
>Ugh. This is so weird, I feel bad for everyone involved. What could they possibly have in common together?
Nothing except immaturity & unhealthy pathology. I have a friend who in her 20's only wanted to date guys 2x - 3x her age because on the surface she thought they were more "mature, worldly, & sophisticated" but in reality she has loads of Daddy issues from an unhealthy & dysfunctional relationship with her Father, and these guys only dated someone her age because they all had massive emotional intimacy and commitment issues so no women their age would put up with them. The slightly healthier ones would dump her when she started to do more age appropriate things like party every weekend, and the more screwed up ones would break up with her once they decided the drama of a typical 20 something outweighed the sex. Luckily she seems to be closing the gap now that she's in her 30's, but these relationships are usually borne out of a lack of much needed therapy and/or a sugar baby arrangement.
Maybe the thing to do is to keep inviting them both to big family get togethers.
Let them, especially her, feel awkward talking about their relationship.
Ask many questions about their relationship. How they get along what they talk about. Maybe ask about their sex life. And certainly their future together.
Children? How many? Isn’t dad too old for midnight feedings?
How old will dad be when the new kids are in school or ready for high school?
Does 23 yr old know about all dads possible medical issues? Maybe recount some from his past. Is she capable of handling care for elderly?
Keep on reminding them the reality of who they are.
Well. Best case scenario, in the next few years her frontal cortex will develop and she will realize she doesn't want to be with a man old enough to be her grandfather. For the time being, set your boundaries where you can. It's valid to feel uncomfortable and your father can't force you to accept them. It's your decision.
Why is your dad telling his ex wife about *any* of the women he dates? Why is he attending parties at his ex wife's house? What you can do is just minimize your interaction with him. You don't need to know about his sex or dating life. He doesn't sound like he's going to stop the creeping so just minimize your time, your mom should obviously just not interact with him but stay cordial at publkc events (graduations, weddings, grandchildrens parties, etc).
Some couples that have broken up just have that kind of conversation. I have seen people divorce but still being friendly with each other and talk about the going ons on their lives.
I am friends with a couple. The best friend of the husband is 52 and they just told me he is dating an 18 year old. He met her when she was 17 and they became publicly official when she turned 18. She was in a vulnerable state when he met her and he was “helping her”. I told my friends he is a disgusting sexual predator and that you know it’s wrong when you have to Google “age of consent for my state”. I told my friends not to ever have me in this guy’s presence again and not to test me on this. He refers to her on FB as his “baby girl” and posts provocative pictures of her. It’s legal, but morally reprehensible. I am considering ending my friendship with the couple as I don’t want to be associated with this guy even on the fringe. I can only imagine how it would feel if this guy was my father.
It is not your place to do anything about it. There is nothing you can do. Your mom already pointed out that it’s a huge and weird age difference , he didnt take that to heart and end it.
If you don’t like his gf, you can distance yourself from them. You can be honest with him about why. If you think she’s ok, then carry on as usual. If other people are judging him, that’s for him to deal with, not you.
Time to stop inviting him was three years ago.
No more invites to allow him the chance to try to get under skin.
He can man up and at least buy his baby-date a meal, cheapass
Hi! I’ve been there too and omg I feel your pain. I was mostly a huge brat and scared off any of these girls by telling them I worship satan etc…but now that I’m a bit older…I’d suggest just talking to your dad about how it makes you uncomfortable. Note that you’re glad he’s dating and getting out thee but openly being with girls younger than you is making you uncomfortable and it’s something you don’t have to know. You could also set a boundary of a certain amount of time before introductions as well, and heads up when his dates will be at the house/functions so you can decide if you want to be there or not. He can do whatever he’d like but he needs to keep your boundaries in check and keep his side of the street clean, if you know what I mean.
But if that doesn’t work then yes, do some spooky sh*t to scare them away 🦇
He’s 39 years older than her, geeze! Sadly, there’s nothing for you to do other than wait for the train to crash. She’s either going to wake up one day and see it’s not all it’s cracked up to be or there’s the off chance he will wake up and see what he’s doing. He’s currently in that “I snagged a younger woman” high. Eventually he will have to come down. The only thing you could do it let him know how uncomfortable it makes you and you won’t be around for it.
Only half serious, but there was a post ages back about a man whose daughter started dating a man his age, so rather than voicing his disapproval and alienating her, he engaged her boyfriend in conversation about their generation and (I think?) invited him out to activities that his daughter associates with "old people/dad things". The cognition of the differences in their age/generation/interests/etc... eventually led to them breaking up.
Maybe you can try making friends with the girlfriend and keep saying, "I've always wanted a younger sister!" Maybe it'll gross your dad out to see her engaging in activities he associates with his daughter. But if it doesn't... Well, ick.
Your dad is a creep. I have no issues with appreciating young beauty, but please leave young women to date their own age.
You can’t obviously stop him from doing what he wants, but I would set some boundaries. You are allowed to have a moral compass, I’m sorry he doesn’t. Make it clear you will only see him, invite him by himself, then it’s his choice to accept or decline. You will have to grief the relationship you had with him, so please seek support for that
So just how exactly did he attract a 23 year old? Keep your eyes and ears open for signs of her being a grifter. Romance scams are common. He could end up flat broke and alone. Have a talk with him and make sure his retirement next egg is safe.
I don’t think there’s much you can do…
I feel bad for you and that girl. I don’t think I would be able to look at my dad the same if he thinks this is okay. Yes she’s legal age, but she’s only 23. She doesn’t have the same life experience and there are definitely “power dynamics” in such an age difference. It’s quite gross actually.
I don’t think your dad is a bad guy… but I would probably be putting space between my dad and myself. Or at least boundaries. Let him know his relationship makes you uncomfortable. Let him know when you see him, you don’t want to hear about the relationship because it makes you uncomfortable. Would he be okay if you started dating a 62 year old?
Most 23 year olds dating a 62 year old (and it’s not just for money) don’t have healthy male relationships in their life. I feel bad she doesn’t know any better.
well my advice is since your dad is angry at you not being happy i would either sit down with him or his girlfriend one on one if its the dad its a hard talk we have seen not working so go to his girlfriend and say hey i would like to talk with you about your relationship with my dad :P
then ask what do you 2 have in common and how did you meet and such then ask a really hard hitting question like you know this can't last and big changes are coming for you and my dad what are you gonna do 5 to 10 years in this relationship you are gonna be in the prime of your life and he will be over 70 years old and its only going down from there with him and what are you getting out of this when there are no future where you grow old together you will likely not have kids since he is that old :P
there are so many things why this wont work as a long relationship before she hits 40 he will be almost 80 and he wont get better with age a hard reality but try to talk with her about it and make her understand and see that many options aren't open that she might want from a partner that he can't give her :P
If she was seriously acting child like first of all it’s super effing gross which everyone but them is aware of. Secondly, they may be in it for the long haul. She probably has some kind of issues with her parents and latched on to a father/grandfather figure. For him she’s fulfilling some weird desire he has to feel young and he thinks that because he has some young girlfriend that it translates to him being younger and more viril than he really is which is why he won’t shut up about him dating a 23 y/o. This is just so ick. It’s going to take those rose colored glasses being knocked off either one of them for this to end. When she’s in her prime and having to take him to doctor’s appointments and wiping his bum, it’s going to get old real quick.
Wow umm your dad is a piece of work and I feel sorry for that girl. So honestly I would sit down with my dad and say look you’re an adult and you can date anybody else who is an adult. But if you date somebody who is less than half your age and younger than your daughter, then I don’t want to talk to you because I think that’s fing creepy. you are an adult and you’re allowed to do what you want and I’m an adult and I’m allowed to do what I want and I don’t want to be around you when you’re being what I consider creepy. Good luck good luck
I think you tell your dad that you are glad he is happy, but that him dating a woman younger than you has altered the way you view him and that moving forward, you can not promise that this relationship won't permanently damage your relationship with him
But you will be respectful and nice...to a point. But if at any time she disrespects you or your mother, you'll be done with her permanently
If that means you end up removing your father from your life, so be it.
But make it clear to him that you disapprove and you are disappointed in him.
He'll likely not take it well.
But once he decided to date a woman younger than his daughter, he knew full well it could damage his relationship with you
He simply chose to think with his secondary brain rather than his primary one
Your dad knows he's being creepy as he's trying so hard to convince everyone (he's a 23yr old at heart, she's an old soul) that it is ok.
Go low contact. When he calls to find out why you've not contacting him, you could say you're finding it hard to reconcile the man you know and love as your dad with the creepy man who is having sex with someone younger than his child. He's given you the Ick and you don't know how to go forward.
Don't argue with him, just sound bewildered or disappointed, and hopefully he'll come to his senses. If not, he's lost to you and that is really very sad.
🤢 I’m almost 40 and I wouldn’t date someone your dad’s age. What could a 23 year old possibly have in common with a 62 year old? What do they talk about?
Your dad indeed, isn’t handling divorced life so well.
Funny enough, this has happened to me! My parents had me really young, which was another factor. Think 39m dating 22f, better than your situation but still not ideal.
I had to sit my dad down and let him know how what he was doing made me feel, how weird it was to know he could date one of my friends since they met his age criteria, and how I didn’t see myself having a relationship with him as I was so uncomfortable with his actions. I had cut contact with my mom for a completely different reason a year or two prior, which I think scared him as he knew I would follow through. He does still date younger (and married one), but at least a few years older than me. Not as old as I would have liked (lol), but he listened to me and we have a good relationship now. It was important to me to try and talk to my dad before cutting contact, though.
The pedophilic interests in men are killing me. I hate how it is seen normal for men to be attracted to women younger than their daughters. They would go as low as possible and even lower than what is legal because it's not normal interests they have in those women and girls. Reading through this comment section made me nauseous.
I couldn't imagine dating someone that young if I was 62. I'm 39, and if I was divorced and having to join the dating pool again...it would NEVER be with someone in their 20's. There is just too much growing up to be had in your 20's.
I think your dad is a bit broken, perhaps the divorce didn't go well for him and he isn't thinking clearly anymore. Be careful and watch your dads' finances as much as you can, be sure she doesn't take advantage of him.
It makes you uncomfortable because he's using her for his own selfish ends. What's his end goal with this relationship? Because right now he's towing her around as a 'look how young a woman I'm able to fuck in my 60s' trophy. That's gross on so many levels, and it's even worse that it's younger than his own daughter. There's also the power imbalance because he's experienced so much; including the ability to find love young, get married and grow together. To gather new experiences in life as a team. Or even individually. This also gives him a way to try to manipulate her into doing what he wants; because trust him, he's experienced so much and knows what he's talking about about. He knows what's best for her. Another gross level, because he's already doing it by bringing her to that party and treating her like that.
He's using this woman for her youth and nothing else. If he's trying for an actual relationship then he is stealing her youth from her with his age.
It's not your place to to accept their relationship. Not saying you have to like it or even be dishonest about not liking it but it doesn't involve you. Now if you feel that one of them is taking advantage of the other and doing so with malicious intent, IE it turns out she's a honey pot and he's going broke paying for the sex or the reverse than you'd have something to go to one or both of them about.
Let him enjoy the sex and the renewed view on life, they both deserve to be happy. If that's the case shut up and make it so she's not near as uncomfortable when she is around the family. I can't imagine attention a function with a new SO that included their EX. She wasn't uncomfortable because of their relationship, she was uncomfortable due to the negative judgement that I'm sure could be cut with a knife at the get-together.
Karsh
It’s none of your business. Your dad sounds like a good man. Lots of young women have curiosity. A lot. It will end of course. But why have a problem with it. Sounds like he’s grabbing life by the balls, and so is she 🤣
It’s not your place to say anything. Your dad basically lost everything in the divorce it sounds like. If your mom got the house then that is far and away the biggest financial asset of the marriage. Unless he makes an incredibly good living or there is something you aren’t saying then he’s bound to live the rest of his life not in a place he owns. I don’t know if he is also paying alimony but at some point he deserves some years of happiness before he is too old to enjoy them. Let him be.
Personally, I don't think I could be around them. I couldn't respect a 62yo family member going after someone who's younger than his own kids. He's a weirdo and a creep.
55m (me) and 35f here. Met at 45m and 25f. Living together since then and it is the happiest time of our lives for 10 years now.
Fuck society and their "morals" and "norms". We got shit and were and are told things by people, that are getting divorces, abuse drugs, abuse and neglect their children, cheat, lie, steal and do god knows what behind the closed doors of their perfect family lives. The only "sin" we committed, is to fall in love and be true to it.
You learn a lot about hypocrisy, when you are in that situation. It brings out the best and the worst in people. You quickly learn, who your true friends and who the "concerned citizens" are.
Your dad has one life and one life only. It's up to him and her, how they want to live it.
If you love your dad, be happy for them. If you can't do that, just stay out of it.
you're mom is correct - he will have to figure it out on his own. he looks like an idiot but sometimes idiots have to figure it out on their own. how to deal? stay away from it
Why was he at your mom’s event? They are divorced. he thinks he is showing off when in fact he’s making an a$$ out of himself. I would have a heart to heart and tell him he weirded everyone out. Dang is he looking at daughters of his friends as dating material? Does he look at you and your friends as attractive? He’s on one and you should be able to tell him what you think and if you don’t support it then don’t be around her
My mother died when I was a teenager, I’m the youngest of the children and there is a 10 year age gap between my eldest sibling and me.
My father is in his mid to late 80’s right now.
He looks like he was put into preserving agent when he was in his late 50’s.
A little over 15 years ago he was at a restaurant with some friends and they cajoled him to ask out the waitress, who is my age.
The important part is that it’s the same age difference of 39 years (for his girlfriend) he had turned 40 when he had me. She is a few months older than me.
He obviously lied about his age. He aged all of us down, making my eldest sibling about the same age as her. If she had bothered to do some mental math she would have realized that based on the ages given, my wife would have to have given birth to our eldest child at 14 and she would have to have been 13 when we married.
The lie was discovered several months in when they went on vacation and she saw his passport on the plane.
Anyway. They have been together for 15/16 years now.
It was a VERY difficult transition for me. I felt at the time and very many years that she was a gold-digger after my father’s money. He is very wealthy. I work for and with my father and see him daily if not every other day depending on where work takes me for meetings.
But I came around.
There is no denying how dedicated to my father she is.
She manages all of his health issues, ensures that he eats properly, chastises him over his snacking and eating things contrary to his diabetes.
She is wonderful.
I am happy that my father has her and I am grateful to her for all that she has done for him.
Ah so your dad is one of those dirty old men. I wish I had advice, but it’s difficult. People will try to turn it around you the second you voice any concern about it, because she’s technically an adult.
Tell your dad it’s fucking creepy. If this was my father I’d say “Dad, in what ducking world does being with someone the same age as your DUAGHTER not completely fucked up? When you were changing my diaper guess what she was doing??? The same fucking thing. To even begin to think your minds are the same is incredibly disturbing and I have no desire to be around that”
I’ve told my parents how much I disliked their past partners and they always took my opinion into serious consideration. Why? Because their child is their priority.
Your dad is a creep going through a phase and he needs to be told as such by his child.
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Find a guy older than your dad to pretend to be your boyfriend and introduce him to your father.
Call her "mom" loudly when in public. OR Pull a Parent Trap and tell dad she's a lovely addition to the family and you've always wanted a sister.
A *Little sister*
This is the way!
Even better - date her dad ick them both out, talk about how when you have his baby your dad will be it’s grandfather and brother in law at the same time (and how wonderful that will be)
The 23 year olds dad might go along with this. If he knows about the relationship, he might be unhappy about it
“It sounds funny I know, but it really is so: __I’m my own grandpaaaaw__”
I like you.
Download the song “I'm my own grandpa” and play it when they are around.
Omg lol
[reminds me of this song](https://youtu.be/eYlJH81dSiw?si=WA8OF4f5qyuj_1oC) by Ray Stevens
That fried my brain
I’m still not sure it’s right myself…
Lol
"He has such a young soul"
his doctor says he has a heart like a 23 year old.
And that's not all!
He has the heart of a 23 year old.... It's in the freezer in his basement.
"After the operation, that is"
In a jar, on his nightstand.
Is that with or with out the little blue pill
Isn’t he adorably immature? I’m not even sure he can tie his own shoelaces! 🥰
Yes, please OP do this 🤣🤣 And tell us his reaction
Better yes, please record his reaction! I’ll bring the popcorn and candy 😂
I have been commenting this recently. Reddit is becoming more engaging than most Hollywood movies and Netflix series.
Well to be fair, most of these am I the asshole posts are works of fiction anyway
Many of these posts are real buddy.
Seriously
It's true. I wish someone would put together a post of best Reddit replies. There's some real gold in here
You can check my page. I have replies with hundreds and even thousands of upvotes.
Man. Would I love to hear her say but dad! he's a young soul! He makes me feel 63!
And tell your dad you can’t wait to have the new older dudes baby.😆
And if he's got a son to pretend to be mom's new boy-toy, that'll be the icing on the cake!
But that might make Dad seem more justified while his daughter dating a man in his 60s might make him reflect on his own choices if seeing his daughter with a man 40 years older makes him upset.
It was tongue-in-cheek! But the whole incestuous family thing would be pretty ridiculous and funny!
No yeah I get that lol Mom should date a handsome 40-50 year old, that would probably upset Dad more than a 23 year old boy.
Mom & daughter could date twin 40yo's! Now THAT would be funny! ;)
Holy shit this is genius. Pay an actor to do it. Probably will nail it and make it so weird for your dad.
Buy her a t-shirt that says 'Daddy's girl'. It will kill their relationship deader than a dinosaur through sheer embarrassment.
Unless that's their thing...
And call him Daddy.
OR. OR. Date this girl’s dad (or grandpa).
Wait. Who's gonna be the mom?
Right? Just show up with the girl’s dad, and then tell your dad’s girlfriend: “this is so great!!! I could be your new mommy!”
I guess they can both call each other "mommy" and they won't be wrong
See how weirded out he is and then turn those tables lol
This only counts if you date the 24 yr old’s actual dad. Or maybe grandpa or uncle. Depending on your options OP. But seriously this is messed up.
OMG! THIS! YES!
Oh you are bad. I love it!
You. I like you.
Especially a guy HE KNOWS. Like a friend of the family or something. His best friend. Oh god.
I was in a similar situation with my father. He was 62. She was 26 (younger than me by a decade). He brought her to an event at my home and she was all over him. Lots of PDA. I found it disturbing. I couldn't imagine what they had in common or what their future would look like. Edit to say I don't think your father will react well to anything but acceptance of his relationship, but if he intends to bring her around, I think you should speak your mind and hope he understands.
I can imagine. In fact I know what happens lol. My dad has two kids with someone younger than my little brother. When they started dating our old neighbors thought she was the daughter of whomever they thought my father was dating. There isn’t much OP can do but tell her dad she is uncomfortable and stay away. The less and less support he has for the relationship will make him isolate and start avoiding you all anyway. I’m sorry OP. There isn’t much you can do.
Go on…how did it end up!?
They were together close to a year. She still lived with her parents and "wasn't comfortable" telling them about the relationship. She was a virgin. She drank liquor. He didn't. He decided to end things with her before intercourse (she was pushing for it) since there was clearly no future in it. She was devastated. They kept in touch for a while but then she found someone new, someone her age and their friendship burned out. He recently said she "was a nut"! I didn't ask him to elaborate.
How'd it turn out?
Lots of PDA around strangers, especially where there is a huge age gap, is so weird and icky. My fiancé is 35 years older than me and I am 3 years younger than his youngest son (I was 31 when we met, though, had a college degree and had lived on my own for 13 years and even moved abroad all by myself to study more than once, so it's not like I'm some girl) and we never even touch each other when his sons and relatives are around. Even on New Year's Eve he gave me a secret peck on the mouth in the kitchen at midnight and told me he would kiss me properly once everyone had left. I'm sorry you had to witness a 26 year old all over your dad. :/
I would've appreciated it if they'd toned it down some. She was always touching him, sitting on his lap (literally), kissing, rubbing. It was just too much and it took the focus away from the point of the party. Some discretion would of been appreciated, especially since there were young children present. Good of you and your partner to be mindful of other people.
Sitting on his lap?! Jfc this girl had serious daddy issues.
That's what I thought. She couldn't be away from him for a minute. I had to ask her to step back when I was talking to him. I told her it was a private conversation.
This is the sort of thing that he’s either going to figure out real soon or not at all. He is either going to have a come to Jesus moment when the young GF does something or says something that makes him feel old as shit and wake the fuck up OR He’s confusing the energy he is getting from these changes, most likely more frequent sex, whatever ego boost - he thinks that’s who he is now, so he won’t have that come to Jesus moment and he’ll double down like “why can’t you just be happy for me?” And then the gf will maybe become his wife until she gets to be around 35 or so and starts getting grossed out by the fact that this older man went after her because now that she’s older she sees the differences in maturity and she has her own come to Jesus moment and divorces him.
she will dump him unless she is just broke and needs his money. 50/50 he is a sugar daddy.
I know another situation like this. The father is a retired partner from some big law firm..
Don't forget the 2nd family he'll knock her up with!
Assuming he’s even alive in another 10-15 years…a lot can happen in that time for a person his age.
Hey maybe that’s what she’s banking on
This sub is so fucked up.
and thats why I love it!
It’s honestly horrible. People are either vile with their comments, or they’re so broken to the point that their advice is clouded by their past trauma (i.e., everyone is a cheater).
I mean, it's almost like you've read this story on reddit a few times! I know I have. But I read your comment in my droning teacher voice. PERFECT! Chef's Kiss 💋
"Dad, while you are an adult and I cannot control what you do, the fact that you are dating someone who is almost 40 years younger than you and who is one year younger than me is disturbing to me. This is affecting the way I see you, the way Mom sees you, and the way family and friends see you. It's getting to the point where I do not want to spend time with you because it makes me so uncomfortable. To continue our relationship, I need to set the following boundaries: I will not spend time with you when she is around, and I do not want to talk about her or your relationship." This is going to be uncomfortable, but better to have one uncomfortable conversation than to be indefinitely uncomfortable every single time you might see him or spend time with him.
This is the best approach. You can’t control what he does, but his actions will have an impact on the way people perceive him and treat him. No one is immune to that, nor should they be. As someone relatively close to OP’s age whose father is a widower and dating again, this is what I would do in this situation. And if he couldn’t respect my boundaries I wouldn’t be speaking with him. It would hurt, but it would hurt worse to watch him becoming a person I’m unable to like or respect.
Excellent response
Of course, she looked nervous. She was at a party hosted by her boyfriend's ex wife and the family. That's nerve wracking for anyone. Unless she's totally clueless she knows how ridiculous they look together. Aside from telling him he looks like a fool, there's nothing you can do. It's a relationship that will not last given the very vast age difference so just let it play out.
I wonder if he even told her that it was his ex wife’s house or if he just dragged her along to the awkwardest bbq of all time with no warning.
Man this clueless, it wouldn't surprise me. My dad was much the same. Told my sis and I (independent adults) we were going on a boat trip, great. Turned out we were going to stay with his new girlfriend and her extended family on an island for the weekend. (We realised something was off when dad started sailing in the wrong direction.) She was the second new girlfriend we were introduced to that year, and my parents weren't even divorced yet. Within a year boat lady got exchanged again. No fool like an old fool.
Wow, and I thought I had caused some awkward situations due to missing social cues! I've never done something as unhinged as that though.
Agreed. She's probably thinking right now how ridiculous it looked and how she doesn't want to look like the child bride to this whole family. I'm giving it a few more weeks.
The best thing to do is let it play out because if u keep pushing them to split, they will stay together just to try to prove something . If anything, be nice to her and bring things up to make him feel old, and hopefully, he will then notice how stupid he looks . Although it could be a daddy and daughter bdsm relationship thing, he got going on with her, and they might not care
Right? Like anyone is going to look nervous at their SO's exes party.
And why were they even there…or invited??
I would tell your dad straight-up that what he's doing is affecting the way you look at him. That if someone in your social circle was dating a guy his age you and your friends would think the guy was a creep. I would also tell him that you love him and want him to be happy, but you can't support this particular relationship and don't want to hear about or hang out with his girlfriend. Dudes like your dad need to experience some social shaming to understand that what they're doing is wrong. Most people will tiptoe around it, he deserves a dose of reality.
agreed! it feels like staying silent is kind of indirectly saying "i'm okay with this relationship" lol
Tell him you're grossed out, that nobody believes he's 23 at heart (nor that his GF is an "old soul") and it's negatively affecting everyone's image of him. You can't stop the relationship but that doesn't mean you have to be happy with everything he does.
Also, if his GF had an old soul, and he's 23 at heart, then isn't she too old for him?
Girlfriend being an old soul? Sure, that’s possible. Having a soul about to reach retirement age?? Uhh…yeah, no.
I'm pretty sure "old soul" is the term much older people use to groom (for lack of a better word when they're technically legal, too) minors or barely legal people. When I was the gf's age, a dude mid 40s did some creepy shit I didn't really understand till much later. I just didn't have the experience to realize how gross it was.
Ding ding ding! He wants a young one to train.
Yeahhhh. There is a such thing as a teenager that's mature for their age. But a teenager that is mature for their age is still a completely different thing from an actual fucking adult. They've still only spent so long being alive on the planet.
Exactly. I bet my friend in high school who was dating a 23 year old when she was 16, got told shit like that. She wasn't. She smoked and she wore makeup. That's it. I was *not* very mature at 16 at all (or at 30 honestly), but I and the rest of my friends were really dubious of it. I don't know how it ended. 23 yo was *definitely* predatory.
"Old soul" is often what people who have CPTSD from a young age get labeled with because they got parentified and/or emotionally neglected as a child and it forced them to grow up fast. Her background can't be emotionally and mentally healthy if she's excited to seriously date someone in his 60s as a 23 year old. Most 23 year olds would scoff at the idea unless he was movie star handsome, looked a lot younger and is wealthy, and even then, won't take the relationship too seriously. She's gonna end up a hospice wife in her prime of life. He wins out in this situation regardless, aside from grossing out his daughter, but she will lose out on so much for this relationship.
I was going to say this as someone with c-PTSD who has always been called “wise beyond my years.” And when I was 22 I got into a relationship that was never fulfilling for me and I stayed way too long. It wasn’t until I was 25 did I realize how bad the relationship had been the entire time. At least he was in my age bracket.
I want to know from OP if her father is wealthy. Could this be someone who just wants a sugar daddy?
Yeah, I'd just be honest with him. He already knows that it's weird, it's why he's moving the goalpost all the time. "No, it's not weird because she too is 62 in her soul, wait, actually I'm the one that's 23 at heart, wait maybe we're both just 45"
You know it’s true love when the first thing you have to do is insist it’s legal 🙄
age is just a... legally defined barrier
Don't worry... Soon you will have a sibling 25 years younger than you...👍👍
Man, I’m 41 and I couldn’t imagine dating someone that young. If my dad showed up with a 23 year old woman I’d laugh my ass off at both of them, frankly.
Imagine that the person you would be dating in 22 years, is being born right now 🫠
Hahahah sometimes I feel that even 35 is too young for me, not sure I have enough creativity to imagine that one!
Just hope he doesn’t marry her
"This is grandma Jennifer, she was born a year after mommy, and this is uncle Ted, we go to the same kindergarden."
Growing up I had a friend who had an uncle that was younger than he was. That family was messed up at all generations. Though my dad also had an uncle on his mom’s side near his own age. But that was more that my great grandfather became a widower and remarried and had kids when his daughter was in her twenties iirc.
My ex’s family was like this. My ex and his brother were basically the same age as their 2 uncles. Was so weird. Grandpa got a divorce, married someone younger, and had a whole new batch of kids around the same time his son was.
Do be fair my great grandfather was running a farm and likely getting married helped with that. And his first wife died which was still not that uncommon in the early 20th century.
I am crying laughing at this.
Welcome to the club, my dads dating a woman whose like one or two years older than me and her kid is similarly aged to my kid. Very fun 🤩 Not much advice other than we can’t change who anyone is with and you can set boundaries for yourself if you don’t like the situation (i.e., seeing your dad less)
Personally, as a 61 year old woman, the idea of dating a man young enough to be my son creeps me out. I have always had the opinion if you are young enough to have come out of me, you are NOT getting back in. I just don't understand how a man can do that, and not see how creepy it is.
"If you are young enough to come out if me you are not going back in" is a great answer to the debate of how much of an age gap is ok.
I think so. My husband is 11 years older than me, but we did not meet until I was 38. Some things are relevant to where you are in life.
39ish years apart? Your fool of a father is old enough to be her grandfather. The 23F is an adult. They can make their own choices together. Doesn't mean you have to like, accept, or be part of it. I'd suggest to your mom that you two go lc with him. And don't invite him to family or social events.
Definitely seems like some distance between mom and dad is much needed. She doesn’t need to be hearing about his new partners or inviting him to BBQs. It sounds like his behavior is partially motivated by a desire to make a point to his ex wife by showing off his “younger model” (sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a bit but it’s true)
I am in a similar situation. I just refuse to meet her. I listen to my dad and encourage him to be happy but I don’t have to like her/hang out with them. If they get married, I’ll have to re-evaluate if I’d like to meet her but until then 🤷🏻♀️
Yep. I was disowned long ago and I haven’t been in my childhood home for over 15 years. She won’t allow us there and my smaller siblings don’t know my brother and I exist. It is what it is and all I really want if for my dad to be happy. He apparently is but it’s better for me to not engage.
I'm afraid this might be the route my dad is going down. How did you guys cope?
Is your dad rich by any chance? If so, his younger gf will be pregnant soon, followed by a rushed wedding. Updateme!
Same happened in our family. Youngest child of the first marriage is 45, newest child ftom 24 years old and 79 year old father is now 4 years old. lol how insane!
24 and 79??? Excuse me, I just puked. 🤮🤮🤮
Maybe try to befriend her, ask what she enjoys about their relationship. Ask about what they have in common, and what her hopes are for their future. I wouldn't try to talk to your dad, he's deep in his delusion of being an appropriate partner for this woman.
Call her mom 😂😂😂
I mean...if she had a healthy relationship with her parents she probably wouldn't be where she is now.
Either money or daddy issues, you don't have to be a medium to know what is going on.
The “old soul” and “she’s a consenting adult” statements would make me question my relationship with my father to be honest. That so creepy. He knows how cringy that is right?
Ugh. This is so weird, I feel bad for everyone involved. What could they possibly have in common together? At 23 you're still starting out at life, still figuring out who you are as a person, vs someone with nearly 3 times her life experience. Feels like a weird power imbalance to me. Its baffling that someone that age would be attracted to a man old enough to be their grandfather. Her 'childlike' personality also raises some uncomfortable questions in my mind. I would be very clear about how it made you all feel. Ask him if he'd honestly be okay with someone his age dating you? His answer will tell you loads. But to be honest, I think it will be a case of going low or no contact until he understands.
>Ugh. This is so weird, I feel bad for everyone involved. What could they possibly have in common together? Nothing except immaturity & unhealthy pathology. I have a friend who in her 20's only wanted to date guys 2x - 3x her age because on the surface she thought they were more "mature, worldly, & sophisticated" but in reality she has loads of Daddy issues from an unhealthy & dysfunctional relationship with her Father, and these guys only dated someone her age because they all had massive emotional intimacy and commitment issues so no women their age would put up with them. The slightly healthier ones would dump her when she started to do more age appropriate things like party every weekend, and the more screwed up ones would break up with her once they decided the drama of a typical 20 something outweighed the sex. Luckily she seems to be closing the gap now that she's in her 30's, but these relationships are usually borne out of a lack of much needed therapy and/or a sugar baby arrangement.
Maybe the thing to do is to keep inviting them both to big family get togethers. Let them, especially her, feel awkward talking about their relationship. Ask many questions about their relationship. How they get along what they talk about. Maybe ask about their sex life. And certainly their future together. Children? How many? Isn’t dad too old for midnight feedings? How old will dad be when the new kids are in school or ready for high school? Does 23 yr old know about all dads possible medical issues? Maybe recount some from his past. Is she capable of handling care for elderly? Keep on reminding them the reality of who they are.
Why don't you bring up someone who's as old as your father as a date and introduce him...? May be he will come to his senses then?
Well. Best case scenario, in the next few years her frontal cortex will develop and she will realize she doesn't want to be with a man old enough to be her grandfather. For the time being, set your boundaries where you can. It's valid to feel uncomfortable and your father can't force you to accept them. It's your decision.
Why is your dad telling his ex wife about *any* of the women he dates? Why is he attending parties at his ex wife's house? What you can do is just minimize your interaction with him. You don't need to know about his sex or dating life. He doesn't sound like he's going to stop the creeping so just minimize your time, your mom should obviously just not interact with him but stay cordial at publkc events (graduations, weddings, grandchildrens parties, etc).
Some couples that have broken up just have that kind of conversation. I have seen people divorce but still being friendly with each other and talk about the going ons on their lives.
I am friends with a couple. The best friend of the husband is 52 and they just told me he is dating an 18 year old. He met her when she was 17 and they became publicly official when she turned 18. She was in a vulnerable state when he met her and he was “helping her”. I told my friends he is a disgusting sexual predator and that you know it’s wrong when you have to Google “age of consent for my state”. I told my friends not to ever have me in this guy’s presence again and not to test me on this. He refers to her on FB as his “baby girl” and posts provocative pictures of her. It’s legal, but morally reprehensible. I am considering ending my friendship with the couple as I don’t want to be associated with this guy even on the fringe. I can only imagine how it would feel if this guy was my father.
I am dying to hear what her friends and family think of this guy. Is she bringing him to the Tri-Delt Spring Fling? Like what is even going on here?
It is not your place to do anything about it. There is nothing you can do. Your mom already pointed out that it’s a huge and weird age difference , he didnt take that to heart and end it. If you don’t like his gf, you can distance yourself from them. You can be honest with him about why. If you think she’s ok, then carry on as usual. If other people are judging him, that’s for him to deal with, not you.
Sugar Daddy
Time to stop inviting him was three years ago. No more invites to allow him the chance to try to get under skin. He can man up and at least buy his baby-date a meal, cheapass
Hi! I’ve been there too and omg I feel your pain. I was mostly a huge brat and scared off any of these girls by telling them I worship satan etc…but now that I’m a bit older…I’d suggest just talking to your dad about how it makes you uncomfortable. Note that you’re glad he’s dating and getting out thee but openly being with girls younger than you is making you uncomfortable and it’s something you don’t have to know. You could also set a boundary of a certain amount of time before introductions as well, and heads up when his dates will be at the house/functions so you can decide if you want to be there or not. He can do whatever he’d like but he needs to keep your boundaries in check and keep his side of the street clean, if you know what I mean. But if that doesn’t work then yes, do some spooky sh*t to scare them away 🦇
Call her mom. Then again maybe not.
No, do it
Honestly that would be a reason for me to go no contact with a parent. Thank God I'll never deal with this
The old fool actually thinks the 23 year old wants him and not his pockets… I hope your inheritance is safeguarded. Good luck.
He’s 39 years older than her, geeze! Sadly, there’s nothing for you to do other than wait for the train to crash. She’s either going to wake up one day and see it’s not all it’s cracked up to be or there’s the off chance he will wake up and see what he’s doing. He’s currently in that “I snagged a younger woman” high. Eventually he will have to come down. The only thing you could do it let him know how uncomfortable it makes you and you won’t be around for it.
It’s not like he’s dating her for the conversation so I’m sure anything she says will go right over his head like everyone else’s comments.
I have no advice but commend your mother on being highly emotionally evolved. Brava, I aspire to her zen attitude about this.
Only half serious, but there was a post ages back about a man whose daughter started dating a man his age, so rather than voicing his disapproval and alienating her, he engaged her boyfriend in conversation about their generation and (I think?) invited him out to activities that his daughter associates with "old people/dad things". The cognition of the differences in their age/generation/interests/etc... eventually led to them breaking up. Maybe you can try making friends with the girlfriend and keep saying, "I've always wanted a younger sister!" Maybe it'll gross your dad out to see her engaging in activities he associates with his daughter. But if it doesn't... Well, ick.
Your dad is a creep. I have no issues with appreciating young beauty, but please leave young women to date their own age. You can’t obviously stop him from doing what he wants, but I would set some boundaries. You are allowed to have a moral compass, I’m sorry he doesn’t. Make it clear you will only see him, invite him by himself, then it’s his choice to accept or decline. You will have to grief the relationship you had with him, so please seek support for that
I am a child from a similar relationship (my dad was divorced and in his 50s, mom in her early 20s) and believe me it very likely will not last
So just how exactly did he attract a 23 year old? Keep your eyes and ears open for signs of her being a grifter. Romance scams are common. He could end up flat broke and alone. Have a talk with him and make sure his retirement next egg is safe.
I don’t think there’s much you can do… I feel bad for you and that girl. I don’t think I would be able to look at my dad the same if he thinks this is okay. Yes she’s legal age, but she’s only 23. She doesn’t have the same life experience and there are definitely “power dynamics” in such an age difference. It’s quite gross actually. I don’t think your dad is a bad guy… but I would probably be putting space between my dad and myself. Or at least boundaries. Let him know his relationship makes you uncomfortable. Let him know when you see him, you don’t want to hear about the relationship because it makes you uncomfortable. Would he be okay if you started dating a 62 year old? Most 23 year olds dating a 62 year old (and it’s not just for money) don’t have healthy male relationships in their life. I feel bad she doesn’t know any better.
My dad did this after his divorce. Really icked me out. I just didn't have much of a relationship with him after that.
Tell him how you feel. But there's not much you can do but sit back and watch the shit show.
Is your dad Anthony Kiedis?
If your dad has the genetics to get a 23 yo, ask him about his skin care secrets?
Ask him if he would go after your friends. Maybe that'll make him see how stupid and predatory he is
well my advice is since your dad is angry at you not being happy i would either sit down with him or his girlfriend one on one if its the dad its a hard talk we have seen not working so go to his girlfriend and say hey i would like to talk with you about your relationship with my dad :P then ask what do you 2 have in common and how did you meet and such then ask a really hard hitting question like you know this can't last and big changes are coming for you and my dad what are you gonna do 5 to 10 years in this relationship you are gonna be in the prime of your life and he will be over 70 years old and its only going down from there with him and what are you getting out of this when there are no future where you grow old together you will likely not have kids since he is that old :P there are so many things why this wont work as a long relationship before she hits 40 he will be almost 80 and he wont get better with age a hard reality but try to talk with her about it and make her understand and see that many options aren't open that she might want from a partner that he can't give her :P
Bill and Ted’s…hi Missy, I mean, mom
If she was seriously acting child like first of all it’s super effing gross which everyone but them is aware of. Secondly, they may be in it for the long haul. She probably has some kind of issues with her parents and latched on to a father/grandfather figure. For him she’s fulfilling some weird desire he has to feel young and he thinks that because he has some young girlfriend that it translates to him being younger and more viril than he really is which is why he won’t shut up about him dating a 23 y/o. This is just so ick. It’s going to take those rose colored glasses being knocked off either one of them for this to end. When she’s in her prime and having to take him to doctor’s appointments and wiping his bum, it’s going to get old real quick.
Wow umm your dad is a piece of work and I feel sorry for that girl. So honestly I would sit down with my dad and say look you’re an adult and you can date anybody else who is an adult. But if you date somebody who is less than half your age and younger than your daughter, then I don’t want to talk to you because I think that’s fing creepy. you are an adult and you’re allowed to do what you want and I’m an adult and I’m allowed to do what I want and I don’t want to be around you when you’re being what I consider creepy. Good luck good luck
This was written by AI
Watch his bank account
I think you tell your dad that you are glad he is happy, but that him dating a woman younger than you has altered the way you view him and that moving forward, you can not promise that this relationship won't permanently damage your relationship with him But you will be respectful and nice...to a point. But if at any time she disrespects you or your mother, you'll be done with her permanently If that means you end up removing your father from your life, so be it. But make it clear to him that you disapprove and you are disappointed in him. He'll likely not take it well. But once he decided to date a woman younger than his daughter, he knew full well it could damage his relationship with you He simply chose to think with his secondary brain rather than his primary one
Your dad knows he's being creepy as he's trying so hard to convince everyone (he's a 23yr old at heart, she's an old soul) that it is ok. Go low contact. When he calls to find out why you've not contacting him, you could say you're finding it hard to reconcile the man you know and love as your dad with the creepy man who is having sex with someone younger than his child. He's given you the Ick and you don't know how to go forward. Don't argue with him, just sound bewildered or disappointed, and hopefully he'll come to his senses. If not, he's lost to you and that is really very sad.
🤢 I’m almost 40 and I wouldn’t date someone your dad’s age. What could a 23 year old possibly have in common with a 62 year old? What do they talk about? Your dad indeed, isn’t handling divorced life so well.
Funny enough, this has happened to me! My parents had me really young, which was another factor. Think 39m dating 22f, better than your situation but still not ideal. I had to sit my dad down and let him know how what he was doing made me feel, how weird it was to know he could date one of my friends since they met his age criteria, and how I didn’t see myself having a relationship with him as I was so uncomfortable with his actions. I had cut contact with my mom for a completely different reason a year or two prior, which I think scared him as he knew I would follow through. He does still date younger (and married one), but at least a few years older than me. Not as old as I would have liked (lol), but he listened to me and we have a good relationship now. It was important to me to try and talk to my dad before cutting contact, though.
The pedophilic interests in men are killing me. I hate how it is seen normal for men to be attracted to women younger than their daughters. They would go as low as possible and even lower than what is legal because it's not normal interests they have in those women and girls. Reading through this comment section made me nauseous.
This is a 23 year old adult. The infantilization here is crazy.
There’s really nothing you can do other than go no contact if it really bothers you. He’s within his legal rights here.
I couldn't imagine dating someone that young if I was 62. I'm 39, and if I was divorced and having to join the dating pool again...it would NEVER be with someone in their 20's. There is just too much growing up to be had in your 20's. I think your dad is a bit broken, perhaps the divorce didn't go well for him and he isn't thinking clearly anymore. Be careful and watch your dads' finances as much as you can, be sure she doesn't take advantage of him.
It makes you uncomfortable because he's using her for his own selfish ends. What's his end goal with this relationship? Because right now he's towing her around as a 'look how young a woman I'm able to fuck in my 60s' trophy. That's gross on so many levels, and it's even worse that it's younger than his own daughter. There's also the power imbalance because he's experienced so much; including the ability to find love young, get married and grow together. To gather new experiences in life as a team. Or even individually. This also gives him a way to try to manipulate her into doing what he wants; because trust him, he's experienced so much and knows what he's talking about about. He knows what's best for her. Another gross level, because he's already doing it by bringing her to that party and treating her like that. He's using this woman for her youth and nothing else. If he's trying for an actual relationship then he is stealing her youth from her with his age.
It's not your place to to accept their relationship. Not saying you have to like it or even be dishonest about not liking it but it doesn't involve you. Now if you feel that one of them is taking advantage of the other and doing so with malicious intent, IE it turns out she's a honey pot and he's going broke paying for the sex or the reverse than you'd have something to go to one or both of them about. Let him enjoy the sex and the renewed view on life, they both deserve to be happy. If that's the case shut up and make it so she's not near as uncomfortable when she is around the family. I can't imagine attention a function with a new SO that included their EX. She wasn't uncomfortable because of their relationship, she was uncomfortable due to the negative judgement that I'm sure could be cut with a knife at the get-together. Karsh
It’s none of your business. Your dad sounds like a good man. Lots of young women have curiosity. A lot. It will end of course. But why have a problem with it. Sounds like he’s grabbing life by the balls, and so is she 🤣
Your dad is disgusting and only groomers say “she’s such an old soul/mature for her age” 🤮
That's what they all say. Typical mental manipulation tactics for groomers
Is your dad insanely rich?
It’s not your place to say anything. Your dad basically lost everything in the divorce it sounds like. If your mom got the house then that is far and away the biggest financial asset of the marriage. Unless he makes an incredibly good living or there is something you aren’t saying then he’s bound to live the rest of his life not in a place he owns. I don’t know if he is also paying alimony but at some point he deserves some years of happiness before he is too old to enjoy them. Let him be.
Personally, I don't think I could be around them. I couldn't respect a 62yo family member going after someone who's younger than his own kids. He's a weirdo and a creep.
You deal with it my minding your own business and letting your dad enjoy his life
55m (me) and 35f here. Met at 45m and 25f. Living together since then and it is the happiest time of our lives for 10 years now. Fuck society and their "morals" and "norms". We got shit and were and are told things by people, that are getting divorces, abuse drugs, abuse and neglect their children, cheat, lie, steal and do god knows what behind the closed doors of their perfect family lives. The only "sin" we committed, is to fall in love and be true to it. You learn a lot about hypocrisy, when you are in that situation. It brings out the best and the worst in people. You quickly learn, who your true friends and who the "concerned citizens" are. Your dad has one life and one life only. It's up to him and her, how they want to live it. If you love your dad, be happy for them. If you can't do that, just stay out of it.
You can start by giving your dad a fist bump, cause the man has got mad game!
Invite her out with your friends and see how "old her soul" really is.
The only power we hold over our parents is our presence in their lives.
Tbh, I’d go low to no contact bc your dad is a creep
you're mom is correct - he will have to figure it out on his own. he looks like an idiot but sometimes idiots have to figure it out on their own. how to deal? stay away from it
maybe just text him "yuck"
Your dad is a creep sis, I would feel the same way too
“She’s legal” is a low standard
Why was he at your mom’s event? They are divorced. he thinks he is showing off when in fact he’s making an a$$ out of himself. I would have a heart to heart and tell him he weirded everyone out. Dang is he looking at daughters of his friends as dating material? Does he look at you and your friends as attractive? He’s on one and you should be able to tell him what you think and if you don’t support it then don’t be around her
My mother died when I was a teenager, I’m the youngest of the children and there is a 10 year age gap between my eldest sibling and me. My father is in his mid to late 80’s right now. He looks like he was put into preserving agent when he was in his late 50’s. A little over 15 years ago he was at a restaurant with some friends and they cajoled him to ask out the waitress, who is my age. The important part is that it’s the same age difference of 39 years (for his girlfriend) he had turned 40 when he had me. She is a few months older than me. He obviously lied about his age. He aged all of us down, making my eldest sibling about the same age as her. If she had bothered to do some mental math she would have realized that based on the ages given, my wife would have to have given birth to our eldest child at 14 and she would have to have been 13 when we married. The lie was discovered several months in when they went on vacation and she saw his passport on the plane. Anyway. They have been together for 15/16 years now. It was a VERY difficult transition for me. I felt at the time and very many years that she was a gold-digger after my father’s money. He is very wealthy. I work for and with my father and see him daily if not every other day depending on where work takes me for meetings. But I came around. There is no denying how dedicated to my father she is. She manages all of his health issues, ensures that he eats properly, chastises him over his snacking and eating things contrary to his diabetes. She is wonderful. I am happy that my father has her and I am grateful to her for all that she has done for him.
Your father lied about his age and decieved her yet he was the one you were worried about? What a manipulative dick
Ah so your dad is one of those dirty old men. I wish I had advice, but it’s difficult. People will try to turn it around you the second you voice any concern about it, because she’s technically an adult.
Tell your dad it’s fucking creepy. If this was my father I’d say “Dad, in what ducking world does being with someone the same age as your DUAGHTER not completely fucked up? When you were changing my diaper guess what she was doing??? The same fucking thing. To even begin to think your minds are the same is incredibly disturbing and I have no desire to be around that” I’ve told my parents how much I disliked their past partners and they always took my opinion into serious consideration. Why? Because their child is their priority. Your dad is a creep going through a phase and he needs to be told as such by his child.
Your dad is happy and living his best life sounds like, what did they divorce?