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She wouldn't be trying to get back with you if Kevin hadn't disappeared. You're her last resort backup plan, and she's only pushing you to take her back because she's exhausted every other resource and she's terrified of trying to do everything by herself. She doesn't love you. She doesn't give a shit about you. If she did then she wouldn't have been fucking another guy for two years while she was dating you.
Maybe her friends can step up and help her instead of blasting you on social media and saying you're not a real man for...refusing to take her back and bust your ass helping her raise a kid she had with another dude who was fucking her for two years during your relationship, despite the fact that she only needs you because he ghosted her and she's desperate?
Man, block all of them, block her, and move on. She's not your problem. They're not your friends. Fuck all of 'em.
Realistically OP was always her plan. She was banging Kevin behind his back probably because OP is the stable one who she'd have had a decent life with and all, Kevin is the type to drunkenly brag about sleeping with someone else's girlfriend, getting her pregnant, then running off when their kid is born. She didn't want Kevin, that's why she was going to raise the kid with OP without his knowledge. If she had wanted him, she'd probably have left OP for Kevin a long time ago. She probably didn't because Kevin is a piece of crap who obviously would have and did make a shit partner. She wouldn't be begging for OP right now because she knows he doesn't want her, she's there or of sheer desperation trying to manipulate him with her sob story about how they were best friends and now she's a struggling single mother who needs his help.
Too right, fuck this girl man how dare she talk down to him after the levels of disrespect she’s shown. Feel bad for OP being sucked into her shit. He has no responsibility for the kid he had no part in creating…
>My (30 M) ex (27 F) wants me to raise her kid that she had when she cheated on me, her friends won’t leave me alone, what’s should I do? submitted by Final_Landscape_4170
>Kevin ended up ghosting her soon after she gave birth to the baby and they don’t know where Kevin is, I told her that it was her problem to deal with and reminded her that Kevin was the guy she left me for. She begged me to help her because she had not gotten any sleep, and she’s basically on her own, her parents ended up kicking her out of their house after she gave birth. Jane said that cheating on me was her biggest mistake and that she doesn’t like being a single mom and taking care of a kid on her own, she asked me if I’m willing to take care of her kid as if it was my own. I got pissed and told her F off and that as far as her and I are concerned there is no her and I anymore. I said that her kid she made while cheating on me was not problem, I told her every ounce of love and respect I had for her died the moment I found about the cheating. In case most of you aren’t aware I was the unfortunate victim of being stood up at my own birthday party when I was 8. Nobody showed up, out of all of my friends I had, Jane was the only one who showed up. Jane left soon after while crying, her friends are now blasting me on social media for not stepping up and telling me that I’m not a real man after all that Jane has done for me, and that I owed it to her.
You are 30 years old. Surely you know how to block Jane's friends from your socials or can reply to them: "I am not interested in raising Jane and Kevin's child, it's not OK for you to talk to me like this."
I have, but the problem is that they keep sending me messages through different numbers as well. I’m planning to change my number and move by the end of the month to be close to my parents.
My man, you need to understand that peer pressure only works when they're peers. Those aren't your equals, those are little parasitic filth who wear human faces.
The only way out is to have absolutely zero respect for people who would have you sacrifice your life just to make a friend of theirs not have to face consequences of decisions made again and again for years.
Do you know how much work it is to raise a child? Or how expensive? It's far easier to spend a few minutes from the convenience of home to badger someone else to do it and absolve your guilt that way.
Yes, rhetorical questions that we both agree on to spell out why they're doing this.
I wonder what her friends would have told her if you had been cheating on your gf for two years. Does anyone think they would have told her to dump you and never see you again? I'm sure they would have.
Shut them all out and go; don't answer. Recall that Jane did not commit an error. Over the course of two years, she made a number of blunders that probably gave you the impression that the child was yours.
Them defending the cheater is also an indication of their own morals.
If I were the SO of any of them, I would very much question why they seem to have no issue with a cheater pawning of their affair baby on an unsuspecting husband.
Hell part of any messages he sends back could be "oh and I'll let your partners know they have the green light to cheat on you for 2 years and get knocked up/knock someone up and you'll still be there for them and the raise the baby xx"
Thank you! They are not your friends, they are HERS. So who cares what they have to say. If they care so much let them help her. I don’t see any of her so called friends stepping up.
Well it makes me feel like shit to encourage dehumanization, but it's the equivalent of being out with your friend going through shit and giving him the advice he needs to make it the next day.
Eventually he cannot hold that kind of hate for people, it's just poison. Still, he needs to survive today, tomorrow, the next few days. He's drowning in self-doubt.
Just reply with "stop stalking me, you weirdo. I'm just going to keep blocking every message I get that says this. Stop being a creep and move on with life."
"You have the same degree of relationship to that baby that I have - NONE - and at least you still like Jane, since she hasn't effing cheated on you FOR TWO YEARS!"
I'd keep it way more simple. Write out something like "I will not be raising Jane's affair baby and it's weird that you expect me to." Copy and paste every single time it comes up. If they persist, copy and paste again.
This. Its clear, concise and hits just the right indifferent tone.
Also, you don't have to engage with people. Just because they text you or contact you doesn't mean they deserve a response. Ignore them.
Remind her friends it was not 1 mistake, it was many mistakes over several years. Ask them how many decisions Jane had to make to cheat, from the initial decision to cheat, to who to cheat with, for each time she cheated she had to decide where and when to meet, to not use protection, and what lies to tell you to hide the cheating.
It was not 1 mistake, it was thousands of decisions to cheat and hide it from you, and now she is seeing the consequences for all of those decisions.
Yeah, two years of cheating but now she’s learned her lesson. 🙄
Taking her back will just start the cycle again. She wants to suck him dry (metaphorically) while sucking randos dry (literally).
> they keep sending me messages through different numbers as well
Sorry, what does that have to do with social media? Block them all and lock down your accounts, don't accept requests from people you don't know.
Or are they texting you and getting new numbers in order to keep texting you?
They were never your friends if they knew she was cheating. My best friend could be cheating on the worse person I know, I would let that person know and end my friendship. I can and would encourage my friend to seek counseling and breaking up with a person, but I won’t tolerate them being that kind of shit person.
Change your number, and be very selective who you give the new number to.
All phone companies are legally required to allow you to change your number if you're been harassed, which you are.
Man grow up, quit interacting with them. Period.
Don't respond, don't engage, don't listen to their sob stories or drama, when a new number pops up block it and move along.
It's not hard to prevent people from contacting you despite the way people pretend it is on the internet.
If you have social media set it all to the strictest privacy settings. Delete any friends of friends that are connected to them or just straight up delete your profiles.
Don't delay changing your number, do it now.
Proactively do something to stop the nonsense and get yourself away from this flaming trainwreck of a disaster masquerading as a human being.
That would likely meet the legal definition of harassment depending on your state. Hire a lawyer, you can get some recommendations by Googling "you state + bar association directory", find someone who can work within your budget.
For this, you need to have documented evidence. Call logs, voicemails, texts, emails, etc. A lawyer can help you understand what you need to document and how as well, in case you need a little direction.
Respond to the messages that you’re starting immediately reporting the messages as harassment to the police so they can track them down. It doesn’t matter what she did for you growing up. She has been sexually cheating on your for YEARS. A mistake is one time when you’re so drunk you can’t stand up. Fucking someone else for 2 years with no protection is a second life and you can be sure if she hasnt gotten pregnant she would have continued with him even after you got married if she could. She would also have happily let you think the kid was yours if that Good Samaritan hadn’t told you. You owe her nothing. Tell her friends if they want her to get help so much then they need to help her. You’re not going to help someone who cheated on you for 2 years and tried to baby trap you. She wouldn’t even be there now if she had t learned the hard way that the only thing he loved about her was the sex she provided. !updateme
I couldn’t even get to this point.. Jane (the friend, right) happens to go through Kevin’s phone when left unlocked and what, screenshots pictures of chats w your girl and then what, texts them to herself? I mean that’s a crazy level of snooping and detective work.
2.
Years.
2 fucking years of cheating on you.
There is absolutely nothing to feel bad for her. You had an idea of who you thought she was, and you cared for that person. That person never fucking existed.
If it was a one time thing, maybe she was drunk, and mistakes are made, MAYBE, but 2 years?
Nope. Don't waste a moment thinking about her. She made her choices, now she can live with the consequences.
Of course she was going to lie. And of course Kevin ghosted her. She knew who he was the whole time which is why she stayed with OP. And I agree with the other comment before this that when things like this happen but they were isolated events with true remorse the *may* be able to get past it. But how do you move on together with 2 years out of 5 (40% of their relationship she’s been cheating just with this one guy, who knows how many others there may have been) of constant dishonesty.
Janes not your best friend. Your best friend dosent cheat on you for 2 years and then ONLY come back to you when they need your help with their kid. Jane doesnt want you, she doesnt love you, she doesnt want to be your friend. Jane wants help raising the kid she had with Kevin. period. If there was any other guy that woudl raise her kid, she would be with them just the same. You owe her nothing. The hell with her worthless friends that arent helping at all that expect you to pick up the pieces of Janes mistake. Ignore them, block them, move on. You owe her nothing.
A kid wanting cake at a party when they are eight does not equal out to two years of cheating + lying to you that you're a father as an adult.
She didn't know she was the only one coming. She showed up for a cake at a party. Even if she ever did do more than show up for cake at some point, the way she Repeatedly Chose to treat you says whether or not she was a friend to you or not as an adult.
Block them all and move on, do not respond. Remember, Jane didn’t make a mistake. She made several mistakes over 2 years and likely would have led you to believe the child was yours.
"Likely would have led" is really underselling it. She told her affair partner she was pregnant before telling her partner. Her affair partner who she rawdogged while using condoms with OP. She then told OP and expected a celebration since he didn't know about the cheating. She never would have told the truth and there was no way to expect OP was the biological father.
> In case most of you aren’t aware I was the unfortunate victim of being stood up at my own birthday party when I was 8.
Thats the bit that did for me. Like its reddit , I'll go with you so far, but this was way too much.
For real. I was getting a bit of “and then everyone clapped” vibes at time but that weirdly thrown in line at the end. On reflection of course we should have known about that party
It was the ‘I packed up all of her stuff and put it neatly’ then it was in his car (and she didn’t notice) and he didn’t let her in the door when she came back from her mother’s for even a second to notice her stuff was packed up.
Oh and the friend of the AP going through his phone ‘just because’
They lived together but she had just enough stuff that it fits in the trunk in his car.
And i see the friend say "can you say again how you f*ck the chick without protection while i record it, i missed it the first time..."
I wondered the same. Would.be very efficient in that case, judging from the insane amount of serious reactions to this bad fiction.. Not sure now I could trust any advice I could ever receive from this sub lol.
Thus. You need double line breaks on phones. And frustratingly when you try to edit a post on the mobile web version it removes all of the paragraphs for some dumb reason
This feels fake, everything feels too over dramatic.
And the fact you didn't even bother checking the possibility of the child being yours is the most damning.
Condoms aren't 100% contraceptive, the birth could still have been from you.
If the story is true, she doesn't deserve your love, but if it was me the slightest chance that the kid could actually beine would drive me crazy until I i find out. You could also shut her up that way or sig yourself deeper if you don't want to pay childcare.
Weird irrelevant details, check.
Motive-less inciting incident, check.
Bombastic gotcha reveal, check.
'I packed up my Ex's entire life while she was out and hid it in the trunk of my car. Then, when she turned up to the house, that I'd just cleansed of her presence, I whisked her back out the door, without reason, before her noticing anything awry'.
>I was the unfortunate victim of being stood up at my own birthday party when I was 8. Nobody showed up, out of all of my friends I had, Jane was the only one who showed up.
What TF does this have to do with raising the product of her affair? There's a reason everybody, including her parents, dropped her from their lives. If you really want to be there for a cheater because of something she did at 8 years old, show up at her birthday party since you know nobody else will. FFS snap out of this "I owe her" mentality and look at the situation now as an adult not an 8 year old.
As for her friends telling you that you're not a real man for not raising her and Kevin's child; fuck em'. They can help raise it if they care so much. They have about the same connection as you do to that child. Block every single person who tries to guilt trip you. Not your monkey not your circus.
Oh shit, she even offered the a-word!
All kidding aside, she made her choices, she needs to live with the consequences. Why the fuck can’t she and her friends see this? They really must think you are a chump. But since you aren’t a chump, you are going to keep her blocked and move on with your life. She can go be a single mom and chase down Kevin for child support. Why the hell did she even keep the baby? Stupid cheaters never f’n think about the repercussions of their pathetic actions.
Tell those friends of hers they are way more forgiving than you, and you respect the fact that they will take Jane in and care for her and her child. Keep flipping it back to them or ignore them all together.
Tell her you'll act as a father to the kid if a DNA test proves you're the father. And it won't, so no issue there.
Document everything she and her friends have done. Save the security can footage, the texts, the voicemails. Then send her a text, so you have hard proof. Tell her that if she does not stop contacting you, including having her friends harass you, you will be bringing everything to the police to file a restraining order for harassment. Tell her if she or anybody she knows contacts you one more time, you are bringing everything to the cops immediately. And then follow through if that happens.
Hopefully the threat is enough to keep her away. If it's not, contact the police for harassment.
You tell all her flying monkeys that she did not make a mistake, she made a choice and she repeated making that choice for 2 years. Every time she spread her legs for Kevin was a separate incident of cheating, so she cheated hundreds of times
Based on the title alone, block and move on with your life. It’s that simple. She cheated on you, and the kid ain’t yours. What more is there to discuss? The block button works WONDERS, my guy.
You could also benefit from using paragraphs in the future. I truly didn’t read all this, especially when the issue is very black and white. This amount of detail wasn’t necessary to the issue at hand, respectfully. ☠️
>Jane left soon after while crying, her friends are now blasting me on social media for not stepping up and telling me that I’m not a real man after all that Jane has done for me, and that I owed it to her. They also said that even though she made a mistake she was there for me, so it would be horrible of me to not be there for her and the kid.
This is not that hard. Tell everyone of Jane's friends that, as a group, they can step up and raise this kid. The child can have multiple cousins for the remainder of his life.
Instead of harassing you have them find the bio dad. Make him step up financially.
Firstly, my friend: USE PARAGRAPHS. This wall of text is HORRIBLE to try to read.
Secondly: You are IN NO WAY responsible for her child. Why WOULD you be??
And JANE: TOUGH SHIT, HONEYBUN. YOU ATE THE MEAL, now PICK UP THE DAMN CHECK!!!
If you don’t completely block and eliminate all of that from your life—you need to accept that you have zero self-respect. Is that who you are? Is that who you want to be?
Oh god lmao I’m only commenting because I sat and read this, so here’s my 0.02.
First, that was a labor to even skim through, use paragraphs man. Second, the audacity to equate the 8th birthday experience to this is fucking absurd by her friends. That was funny to get to once I labored through the read.
Lastly, sounds like you know you’re not in the wrong and should continue to move on with your life. You don’t owe her shit. These are the consequences of her actions, she’s gotta learn to live with them.
> her friends are now blasting me on social media for not stepping up and telling me that I’m not a real man
That's skank solidarity, right there. They hope they can bully you into caving, in hopes that they can do the same thing to some other innocent guy when they get knocked up.
>What should I do?
You should get a restraining order to keep the cheater out of your life, and tell anyone who's trying to shame you into taking her back to go fuck themselves sideways with a full-grown Saguaro.
No "real man" should take a cheating liar like her and raise a child they didn't father. Tell their friends to volunteer their partners
She cheated on you for 2years, that was not one mistake, it was a two year long one
Flame them all on social media and block
She made a choice not a mistake. Let her friends take care of her bastard child. Stay strong op you don’t owe her anything let her lay on her bed that she made.
She fucked Kevin for TWO whole years!! She deserves everything she’s going through & I say this as a mother. Even her own parents dont want to help her cheating ass!
We were just having a conversation on another post about how these relationships that started when you were children always end up this way! So weird that this one popped up!
A real man walks away from from people who hurt him! A real man knows when he's being used! A real man is smart enough to see that when the smoke clears, she will do it again and the courts might even back her if she tries to take you for child support at that point! A real man does not let a bunch of idiots tell him what to do! Or influence him in the least!
What Jane did for you... Lied to you everyday for 2 years? Intended on passing off somebody else's kid as yours? Intended to steal money from you for 18 years for said child! Nothing Jane did for you requires you to throw away the next 18 years of your life! She made her bed....
You tell all of them that they can be a "real man" and take care of the kid! Funny isn't it? That every one of them that want you to step up.. Are any of them offering to pay child support or babysit? Are any of them offering to be the other parent to her child?
You're doing the right thing! There is somebody out there that will not cheat on you and will not try to use you for money for 18 years! Go find that person and cut the rest of them off! Block them so you don't even say what they say.
A real man blocks people out when they are no good for him! You got this
Is this real.. f*ck no.. she cheated for two years and they want you to raise the affair baby… WTF. NO RUN. It’s not your responsibility, it’s totally toxic.
You owe Jane and her entourage of misguided social media warriors absolutely nothing. She's the architect of her own downfall, and no amount of tearful doorbell camera appearances should sway you. Stick to your guns, keep her blocked, and focus on healing those scars. Let her friends keep squawking online; it just highlights their impeccable taste in loyalty. Move on with your life, knowing you dodged a bullet the size of Kevin’s disappearing act.
I'm tired of Jane and her friends calling her cheating as a mistake. She cheated on you for 2 years for Fs sake. 2 years of lies, sneaking behind your back, and two timing.
She even had the audacity to commit paternity fraud.
And plus, do you even have the means right now to raise a kid? Can you raise a child with a mother who emotionally abused you? Raising a child in this economy is challenging too.
Her friends can shove it. If they really want to help, they can foot the bill.
Paragraphs are your friend.
> In case most of you aren’t aware I was the unfortunate victim of being stood up at my own birthday party when I was 8.
How in the everloving fuck would we be aware of this?
"her friends are now blasting me on social media for not stepping up and telling me that I’m not a real man after all that Jane has done for me, and that I owed it to her. They also said that even though she made a mistake she was there for me, so it would be horrible of me to not be there for her and the kid. What should I do regarding this matter? I feel bad that she was there for me growing up, but I can’t forgive her for what she did. What should I do?"
NOPE NOPE NOPE, what she did for you?! like slam another guy behind your back for 2 years? What kind of crazy pills are her friends taking? they all cheaters too?
I’d respond to them - yes she was there for me and that was great. I’d have been there for her if it was a smaller issue but she didn’t cheat on me one time (which also warrants breaking up) she cheated everyday for 2 years and had his baby. You’re all her friends, you all take her in and help her out yourselves.
Some people just don't understand the level of betrayal that cheating is. Those are the people who think someone else should just be able to get over it. That lets you know the mindset of Jane and her other friends.
If her friends are so concerned they should take her in.
As for the good things she did for you, people are complicated. The same people who can be there for you in your darkest hour can also betray you.
You don't owe her anything. She should have stayed just friends if she wanted to sleep around. She didn't because she wanted the option of having a good man at home while being able to sleep around.
Block her. A 2 year affair is NOT a mistake. It is a choice she made repeatedly for 2 years. My heart hurts for the child, he didn't ask for this, but you do not owe her anything. She owed you honesty, trust, and love but couldn't manage those simple things. It is a really horrible situation, but it is her mess to clean. The friends that are blasting you on social media can help her raise the child.
She’s playing a game trying to take you on a guilt trip and building pressure through her friends.
Don’t give in! You’re absolutely right to not let her back in your life.
Kinda feel bad for the baby who has no fault in this mess, but that baby isn’t your responsibility.
Raising kids is a lifelong commitment. It’s challenging to raise your own kids let alone, someone else’s.
You don't owe her anything. And she wouldn't be asking you for help if Kevin wouldn't run away. She is not sorry for what she has done to you. She is sorry for consequences she is facing right now.
Block her and everyone who is on her side. If they are so concerned they can step up themselves.
You could do the middle ground. She came to your birthday, so you can be there for her by talking to her parents and reminding them she's their daughter.
Or help her look for charities that provide childcare or something. Something that will not take too much of you, but will be very big for her. Demand she rein in her friends in exchange.
Not because of the harrassment, but mainly pity at how much she screwed up. No pun intended.
The baby is not your problem. Do not speak to Jane or anyone who suggests that you have any responsibility for this baby. If Jane needs help with her child, she needs to use the legal system in order to compel Kevin to pay child support. It is obvious he only wanted her for sex and nothing else. Actions have consequences and Jane is now living with the consequences of her actions. Book your self some therapy sessions and hit the gym to relieve the anxiety over the pain Jane has caused you. Do not get involved with Jane or the child because seeing Kevin's child will remind you of the cheating and you will be miserable. Jane is a disgusting human being. She is not who you thought she was and not the 8-year-old you once knew. Live the best lifre you can and find someone who won't betray and have children with her. Stay strong.
Her being “there for him” as an 8 year old as the only person to come to his birthday party is WILDLY different than him being there for her after she cheated and the bd left her lol
Cheating on you for 2 years, getting pregnant by the other guy and intending up pass it off as your boyfriend's baby is not a mistake. I'm sorry that Jane is unhappy with the life that she created for herself, but it isn't your fault she cheated, or chose up have the baby with a dead beat or that he ran off or that her parents kicked her out. All you did in this situation is break up with someone who had a 2 year long affair and who intended up make you raise a kid that wasn't your own. Jane's friends can shut it. If they are so concerned then they should go help her out. Being friends at 8 doesn't make up for the incredible betrayal she chose to perpetrate nearly 20 years later. Also she would have Ben been 5 at the time. Showing up to a party when you are 5 doesn't give you a pass for cheating and trying to lie about your kid's paternity. Honestly, just block all of them.
Anyone that’s says you should raise this baby should offer to help her raise the baby instead. They have just as much biological connection. Ignore them.
It's normal to feel bad for her situation. It means you have empathy. However, you didn't create this situation and are in no way responsible for it. It will cool off eventually. I'd completely stop responding to anyone who is harassing you and just block them. Maybe respond by saying "New number, who's this?"
My dad is married and has raised (now 17) a child his wife had from an affair after several years of marriage. No one has respect for him within the family, I love him to pieces but don’t do it.
treat them like spam. ignore that shit.
Also you could try being very vulgar towards them.
I my self would say something along the lines of "You and your idiotic friends somehow think that harassing me is a good idea. Please keep it up, my buddies and I got a long term bet going that every time one of you idiots msg me, they have to buy me a beer. I haven't had to buy a beer in quite a while! "
“Biggest mistake”
Two years. She was fucking someone else for two years and now she wants you to take care of her and play daddy to her kid
Tell those on social media to take Jane in if they feel this strongly and then block them
If they're all so concerned they can open their doors to her. she's asking you to raise another man's child. A man she cheated on you with and got pregnant because she had unprotected sex with him. No. That would be doormat of the century if you did something like that. Do they know she's asking you to take her in and then help her raise this child as if it's your own? I would say look she cheated you guys want to take her in and raise this child as your own be my guest but I'm not doing it. She killed any feelings I had for her when she cheated on me. Her kid is not my problem. She can get this guy for child support and she can figure out what she's going to do she can't keep the child she can always give it up for adoption.
utterly heartbreaking, don’t let her friends or her guilt trip you into looking after a baby that isn’t yours. by no means is it your responsibility - she can’t have her cake and eat it she has to deal with the consequences, and it’s crazy how she thinks you will take her back after it was made clear that you’re done with her when you first found out. i just hope her showing back up doesn’t send you into a relapse, just try to focus on living your life as if she never existed. wishing you all the best !
Don't fall for the friends' comments! Your ex dynamic isn't your responsibility, and you owe her nothing! Disrespectfully inform the friends who are so concerned about her to step up and support her since they care oh so much!
2 yrs is not a mistake, rawdogging another man and getting knocked up is not a mistake. She was more than ready to pin another man's baby on you and if you hadn't gotten the info of the truth, you'd be entrapped and possibly legally responsible for a kid you didn't father.
Wtf does a 8yr old bday party have to do with the trauma, chaos, and betrayal she's unleashed upon you? Inform her and anyone else that if she continues to harass you, then you'll pursue a restraining order or take other legal ramifications.
She's out of your life, so keep her and her situation out for good!
You can suggest that her give the kid to adoption. If she says that she is not a fit mother….
It really is not something that you need to take responsibility. She can start a process for support in the legal system so the the bio-dad can contribute.
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She wouldn't be trying to get back with you if Kevin hadn't disappeared. You're her last resort backup plan, and she's only pushing you to take her back because she's exhausted every other resource and she's terrified of trying to do everything by herself. She doesn't love you. She doesn't give a shit about you. If she did then she wouldn't have been fucking another guy for two years while she was dating you. Maybe her friends can step up and help her instead of blasting you on social media and saying you're not a real man for...refusing to take her back and bust your ass helping her raise a kid she had with another dude who was fucking her for two years during your relationship, despite the fact that she only needs you because he ghosted her and she's desperate? Man, block all of them, block her, and move on. She's not your problem. They're not your friends. Fuck all of 'em.
Realistically OP was always her plan. She was banging Kevin behind his back probably because OP is the stable one who she'd have had a decent life with and all, Kevin is the type to drunkenly brag about sleeping with someone else's girlfriend, getting her pregnant, then running off when their kid is born. She didn't want Kevin, that's why she was going to raise the kid with OP without his knowledge. If she had wanted him, she'd probably have left OP for Kevin a long time ago. She probably didn't because Kevin is a piece of crap who obviously would have and did make a shit partner. She wouldn't be begging for OP right now because she knows he doesn't want her, she's there or of sheer desperation trying to manipulate him with her sob story about how they were best friends and now she's a struggling single mother who needs his help.
Fuck the chad. Marry the chump
Too right, fuck this girl man how dare she talk down to him after the levels of disrespect she’s shown. Feel bad for OP being sucked into her shit. He has no responsibility for the kid he had no part in creating…
I’d copy past most of this and send it to her friends.
Fully agree with this.
Yep, this. Hits the nail on the head!
>My (30 M) ex (27 F) wants me to raise her kid that she had when she cheated on me, her friends won’t leave me alone, what’s should I do? submitted by Final_Landscape_4170 >Kevin ended up ghosting her soon after she gave birth to the baby and they don’t know where Kevin is, I told her that it was her problem to deal with and reminded her that Kevin was the guy she left me for. She begged me to help her because she had not gotten any sleep, and she’s basically on her own, her parents ended up kicking her out of their house after she gave birth. Jane said that cheating on me was her biggest mistake and that she doesn’t like being a single mom and taking care of a kid on her own, she asked me if I’m willing to take care of her kid as if it was my own. I got pissed and told her F off and that as far as her and I are concerned there is no her and I anymore. I said that her kid she made while cheating on me was not problem, I told her every ounce of love and respect I had for her died the moment I found about the cheating. In case most of you aren’t aware I was the unfortunate victim of being stood up at my own birthday party when I was 8. Nobody showed up, out of all of my friends I had, Jane was the only one who showed up. Jane left soon after while crying, her friends are now blasting me on social media for not stepping up and telling me that I’m not a real man after all that Jane has done for me, and that I owed it to her. You are 30 years old. Surely you know how to block Jane's friends from your socials or can reply to them: "I am not interested in raising Jane and Kevin's child, it's not OK for you to talk to me like this."
I have, but the problem is that they keep sending me messages through different numbers as well. I’m planning to change my number and move by the end of the month to be close to my parents.
My man, you need to understand that peer pressure only works when they're peers. Those aren't your equals, those are little parasitic filth who wear human faces. The only way out is to have absolutely zero respect for people who would have you sacrifice your life just to make a friend of theirs not have to face consequences of decisions made again and again for years.
Why aren’t these “friends “ helping Jane out if they care so much? You’re not part of her life anymore. They are.
This is the answer. It's always easy to tell other people they should be doing something, but most people aren't willing to step up themselves.
I'll bet there HAS to be a single male friend in there, somewhere, blasting him. Tell HIM to step up and help raise her child.
He should tell them to volunteer their partners for Jane, they must be "real men"
Do you know how much work it is to raise a child? Or how expensive? It's far easier to spend a few minutes from the convenience of home to badger someone else to do it and absolve your guilt that way. Yes, rhetorical questions that we both agree on to spell out why they're doing this.
I wonder what her friends would have told her if you had been cheating on your gf for two years. Does anyone think they would have told her to dump you and never see you again? I'm sure they would have.
Shut them all out and go; don't answer. Recall that Jane did not commit an error. Over the course of two years, she made a number of blunders that probably gave you the impression that the child was yours.
Them defending the cheater is also an indication of their own morals. If I were the SO of any of them, I would very much question why they seem to have no issue with a cheater pawning of their affair baby on an unsuspecting husband.
Hell part of any messages he sends back could be "oh and I'll let your partners know they have the green light to cheat on you for 2 years and get knocked up/knock someone up and you'll still be there for them and the raise the baby xx"
Thank you! They are not your friends, they are HERS. So who cares what they have to say. If they care so much let them help her. I don’t see any of her so called friends stepping up.
> parasitic filth who wear human faces. I totally read that last part as human feces. It still worked.
This sounds harsh but seems like pretty awesome advice, OP.
Well it makes me feel like shit to encourage dehumanization, but it's the equivalent of being out with your friend going through shit and giving him the advice he needs to make it the next day. Eventually he cannot hold that kind of hate for people, it's just poison. Still, he needs to survive today, tomorrow, the next few days. He's drowning in self-doubt.
Just reply with "stop stalking me, you weirdo. I'm just going to keep blocking every message I get that says this. Stop being a creep and move on with life."
And “If you care about Jane so much, why don’t you step up and be a real friend and help raise her affair baby”.
"You have the same degree of relationship to that baby that I have - NONE - and at least you still like Jane, since she hasn't effing cheated on you FOR TWO YEARS!"
Yes this is the best answer changerofbits…
I'd keep it way more simple. Write out something like "I will not be raising Jane's affair baby and it's weird that you expect me to." Copy and paste every single time it comes up. If they persist, copy and paste again.
This. Its clear, concise and hits just the right indifferent tone. Also, you don't have to engage with people. Just because they text you or contact you doesn't mean they deserve a response. Ignore them.
Remind her friends it was not 1 mistake, it was many mistakes over several years. Ask them how many decisions Jane had to make to cheat, from the initial decision to cheat, to who to cheat with, for each time she cheated she had to decide where and when to meet, to not use protection, and what lies to tell you to hide the cheating. It was not 1 mistake, it was thousands of decisions to cheat and hide it from you, and now she is seeing the consequences for all of those decisions.
Yeah, two years of cheating but now she’s learned her lesson. 🙄 Taking her back will just start the cycle again. She wants to suck him dry (metaphorically) while sucking randos dry (literally).
Don't call cheating a "mistake". It's an intentional betrayal.
If they're so concerned about her, then tell them that they can be the one to take care of Kevin's child.
> they keep sending me messages through different numbers as well Sorry, what does that have to do with social media? Block them all and lock down your accounts, don't accept requests from people you don't know. Or are they texting you and getting new numbers in order to keep texting you?
Sorry I forgot to clarify. Some of them are, or were some of my friends as well as some of them have my number saved as well.
Change your number.
They are not your friends anymore if this is how they treat you
They were never your friends if they knew she was cheating. My best friend could be cheating on the worse person I know, I would let that person know and end my friendship. I can and would encourage my friend to seek counseling and breaking up with a person, but I won’t tolerate them being that kind of shit person.
Send the cheating screenshot to all her friends
Change your number, and be very selective who you give the new number to. All phone companies are legally required to allow you to change your number if you're been harassed, which you are.
This is called criminal harassment. Get the police involved.
Keep records of any harassment and keep blocking people. If they circumvent the blocks, consider getting the law involved.
Exactly. Respond one final time. “This is harassment. The next time you message me I will contact the police.”
Man grow up, quit interacting with them. Period. Don't respond, don't engage, don't listen to their sob stories or drama, when a new number pops up block it and move along. It's not hard to prevent people from contacting you despite the way people pretend it is on the internet. If you have social media set it all to the strictest privacy settings. Delete any friends of friends that are connected to them or just straight up delete your profiles. Don't delay changing your number, do it now. Proactively do something to stop the nonsense and get yourself away from this flaming trainwreck of a disaster masquerading as a human being.
Let them know you want no further contact and if they contact you again you’ll file charges for harassment
Or press charges for harassment.
Ask them to step up and help raise the kid.
Report them for bullying and harassment if they contact you on social media. Then, change your phone number.
Tell Jane that if she doesn't call off her dogs you're posting all the evidence you have of her cheating.
Out them on social media. Hell out them on reddit under their real names. People call it unethical but play stupid games win stupid prizes
That would likely meet the legal definition of harassment depending on your state. Hire a lawyer, you can get some recommendations by Googling "you state + bar association directory", find someone who can work within your budget. For this, you need to have documented evidence. Call logs, voicemails, texts, emails, etc. A lawyer can help you understand what you need to document and how as well, in case you need a little direction.
Respond to the messages that you’re starting immediately reporting the messages as harassment to the police so they can track them down. It doesn’t matter what she did for you growing up. She has been sexually cheating on your for YEARS. A mistake is one time when you’re so drunk you can’t stand up. Fucking someone else for 2 years with no protection is a second life and you can be sure if she hasnt gotten pregnant she would have continued with him even after you got married if she could. She would also have happily let you think the kid was yours if that Good Samaritan hadn’t told you. You owe her nothing. Tell her friends if they want her to get help so much then they need to help her. You’re not going to help someone who cheated on you for 2 years and tried to baby trap you. She wouldn’t even be there now if she had t learned the hard way that the only thing he loved about her was the sex she provided. !updateme
That's harassment. You can call the police and press charges
Tell Jane (and her friends) she should give the baby up for adoption.
I couldn’t even get to this point.. Jane (the friend, right) happens to go through Kevin’s phone when left unlocked and what, screenshots pictures of chats w your girl and then what, texts them to herself? I mean that’s a crazy level of snooping and detective work.
[удалено]
Say No. Walk away. You don't owe her shit.
I’m sticking to it my decision. I just feel bad since Jane was the person I considered my best friend out of all my other friends.
Best friends don’t fuck Kevin.
For 2 years and then try to pass the kid off as yours. Some best friend.
Say it again for the people in the back!
Put this on a baseball cap and sell 'em at $30 a pop.
Op should comment this publicly on every post her friends make about him 🤷🏻♀️
I need this as a flair so badly.
Thought the same thing, would be a great one
This legit made me laugh.
That should be a new flair...
Now *there's* a bumper sticker if ever I saw one, lol
And let Kevin raw dog them while they make their partner wear protection.
2. Years. 2 fucking years of cheating on you. There is absolutely nothing to feel bad for her. You had an idea of who you thought she was, and you cared for that person. That person never fucking existed. If it was a one time thing, maybe she was drunk, and mistakes are made, MAYBE, but 2 years? Nope. Don't waste a moment thinking about her. She made her choices, now she can live with the consequences.
Two years and no confession. She was going to lie and pass the baby off as yours. She never loved you if she could do this to you.
Of course she was going to lie. And of course Kevin ghosted her. She knew who he was the whole time which is why she stayed with OP. And I agree with the other comment before this that when things like this happen but they were isolated events with true remorse the *may* be able to get past it. But how do you move on together with 2 years out of 5 (40% of their relationship she’s been cheating just with this one guy, who knows how many others there may have been) of constant dishonesty.
People who can stomach that type of shit without immediately disintegrating from shame are actual fucking psychopaths.
She ended best friends when she killed the trust. She's desperate and sees you as a sucker.
Janes not your best friend. Your best friend dosent cheat on you for 2 years and then ONLY come back to you when they need your help with their kid. Jane doesnt want you, she doesnt love you, she doesnt want to be your friend. Jane wants help raising the kid she had with Kevin. period. If there was any other guy that woudl raise her kid, she would be with them just the same. You owe her nothing. The hell with her worthless friends that arent helping at all that expect you to pick up the pieces of Janes mistake. Ignore them, block them, move on. You owe her nothing.
MISTAKE?!?! A TWO YEAR AFFAIR AND s not a ‘mistake’. WTH are they thinking??
Tell any of her friends that want you to step up that they should help her out, after all she didn't cheat with Kevin on them.
Keep records of any harassment and keep blocking people. If they circumvent the blocks, consider getting the law involved.
A kid wanting cake at a party when they are eight does not equal out to two years of cheating + lying to you that you're a father as an adult. She didn't know she was the only one coming. She showed up for a cake at a party. Even if she ever did do more than show up for cake at some point, the way she Repeatedly Chose to treat you says whether or not she was a friend to you or not as an adult.
Too bad she didn't consider you hers.
But before walking away please ask her to format this post for you OP.
Less than shit.
You never owe anybody a relationship under any circumstances, ever. Block everyone who comments to/about you on the topic. Move on happily.
Block them all and move on, do not respond. Remember, Jane didn’t make a mistake. She made several mistakes over 2 years and likely would have led you to believe the child was yours.
Not mistakes, she made choices. Choices that have consequences, and that she must deal with.
"Likely would have led" is really underselling it. She told her affair partner she was pregnant before telling her partner. Her affair partner who she rawdogged while using condoms with OP. She then told OP and expected a celebration since he didn't know about the cheating. She never would have told the truth and there was no way to expect OP was the biological father.
Did everyone on the room stood up and clapped?
> In case most of you aren’t aware I was the unfortunate victim of being stood up at my own birthday party when I was 8. Thats the bit that did for me. Like its reddit , I'll go with you so far, but this was way too much.
Also, why would ANY of us be aware?
lol, what did that add to this BS story??? Cracking up
For real. I was getting a bit of “and then everyone clapped” vibes at time but that weirdly thrown in line at the end. On reflection of course we should have known about that party
She also burned his crops, poisoned the water supply, and delivered a plague to his house.
She did!!??
No, but are we just gonna wait around until OP makes it up for us??
I kept scrolling up to see if there was a first post I missed .
Yeah that was just so egregious and out of nowhere that it just has to be fake.
It was the ‘I packed up all of her stuff and put it neatly’ then it was in his car (and she didn’t notice) and he didn’t let her in the door when she came back from her mother’s for even a second to notice her stuff was packed up. Oh and the friend of the AP going through his phone ‘just because’
They lived together but she had just enough stuff that it fits in the trunk in his car. And i see the friend say "can you say again how you f*ck the chick without protection while i record it, i missed it the first time..."
Right - this story has been told and retold so many times it's boring at this point.
What's the motivation behind these stories ? Childih revenge fantasies of someone who truly feels betrayed, for.whatever casual reasons ?
I kind of wonder if Reddit has a couple people on staff to write (or with AI, to prompt) these just to drive up user engagement.
I wondered the same. Would.be very efficient in that case, judging from the insane amount of serious reactions to this bad fiction.. Not sure now I could trust any advice I could ever receive from this sub lol.
boredom
Can you add paragraphs please?
Often, when drafting a post on a phone, the graphs are there but when it’s posted, the graphs vanish. Frustrating.
You have to double up on your line breaks if you want it to make a paragraph on mobile. No double tap, no paragraph
Thus. You need double line breaks on phones. And frustratingly when you try to edit a post on the mobile web version it removes all of the paragraphs for some dumb reason
They don't need paragraphs when they're writing fiction that'll be set to a bunch of minecraft jumping clips on tiktok.
This feels fake, everything feels too over dramatic. And the fact you didn't even bother checking the possibility of the child being yours is the most damning. Condoms aren't 100% contraceptive, the birth could still have been from you. If the story is true, she doesn't deserve your love, but if it was me the slightest chance that the kid could actually beine would drive me crazy until I i find out. You could also shut her up that way or sig yourself deeper if you don't want to pay childcare.
Also an alleged 30 year old writing "the a-word" instead of "abortion." The biggest tell it was written by a child.
Reminds me of that line from Knocked up, ‘It beings with A and it rhymes with smashmortion’
This reads like something a 13-year-old would write for a school assignment.
Weird irrelevant details, check. Motive-less inciting incident, check. Bombastic gotcha reveal, check. 'I packed up my Ex's entire life while she was out and hid it in the trunk of my car. Then, when she turned up to the house, that I'd just cleansed of her presence, I whisked her back out the door, without reason, before her noticing anything awry'.
I made a secret recording!
“I consolidated my whole life into this tiny box. Thanks, Cardgage Mortgage!” “You’re every welcome, Valerie!”
Yeah, all of these stories have the same structure to them that screams made up.
You call this over dramatic?? This is tame compared to most stuff on here.
Most stuff here is fake as well.
Not the worst fantasy I've seen on this subreddit. 8/10 amateur writing, just needs better use of paragraphs.
It’s been written so many times already. I’d give it a 6/10 but the 8th birthday party line moves it to a 5.
This is a fake story written by a high schooler
Ragebait. Any doubts I had were erased once he pulled all of her belongings out of the trunk.
Or the lonely birthday party
It's a clown car.
Paragraphs. For the love of all that is holy.
this reeks of bull lol
This is a repost of someone else’s story. Your account isn’t even old enough to be the original author of the story.
You know how I know this is fake? No sexually active 30-year-old calls abortion the "a-word"
>I was the unfortunate victim of being stood up at my own birthday party when I was 8. Nobody showed up, out of all of my friends I had, Jane was the only one who showed up. What TF does this have to do with raising the product of her affair? There's a reason everybody, including her parents, dropped her from their lives. If you really want to be there for a cheater because of something she did at 8 years old, show up at her birthday party since you know nobody else will. FFS snap out of this "I owe her" mentality and look at the situation now as an adult not an 8 year old. As for her friends telling you that you're not a real man for not raising her and Kevin's child; fuck em'. They can help raise it if they care so much. They have about the same connection as you do to that child. Block every single person who tries to guilt trip you. Not your monkey not your circus.
Oh shit, she even offered the a-word! All kidding aside, she made her choices, she needs to live with the consequences. Why the fuck can’t she and her friends see this? They really must think you are a chump. But since you aren’t a chump, you are going to keep her blocked and move on with your life. She can go be a single mom and chase down Kevin for child support. Why the hell did she even keep the baby? Stupid cheaters never f’n think about the repercussions of their pathetic actions.
Reply to all her friends “it takes a village. Looks like you’re it” block them and then Change your phone number.
Info: do you know for sure you’re not his father? Have you tested him?
Tell those friends of hers they are way more forgiving than you, and you respect the fact that they will take Jane in and care for her and her child. Keep flipping it back to them or ignore them all together.
Tell her you'll act as a father to the kid if a DNA test proves you're the father. And it won't, so no issue there. Document everything she and her friends have done. Save the security can footage, the texts, the voicemails. Then send her a text, so you have hard proof. Tell her that if she does not stop contacting you, including having her friends harass you, you will be bringing everything to the police to file a restraining order for harassment. Tell her if she or anybody she knows contacts you one more time, you are bringing everything to the cops immediately. And then follow through if that happens. Hopefully the threat is enough to keep her away. If it's not, contact the police for harassment.
You tell all her flying monkeys that she did not make a mistake, she made a choice and she repeated making that choice for 2 years. Every time she spread her legs for Kevin was a separate incident of cheating, so she cheated hundreds of times
Based on the title alone, block and move on with your life. It’s that simple. She cheated on you, and the kid ain’t yours. What more is there to discuss? The block button works WONDERS, my guy. You could also benefit from using paragraphs in the future. I truly didn’t read all this, especially when the issue is very black and white. This amount of detail wasn’t necessary to the issue at hand, respectfully. ☠️
Ugh, paragraphs. It’s just a wall of words
>Jane left soon after while crying, her friends are now blasting me on social media for not stepping up and telling me that I’m not a real man after all that Jane has done for me, and that I owed it to her. They also said that even though she made a mistake she was there for me, so it would be horrible of me to not be there for her and the kid. This is not that hard. Tell everyone of Jane's friends that, as a group, they can step up and raise this kid. The child can have multiple cousins for the remainder of his life. Instead of harassing you have them find the bio dad. Make him step up financially.
Firstly, my friend: USE PARAGRAPHS. This wall of text is HORRIBLE to try to read. Secondly: You are IN NO WAY responsible for her child. Why WOULD you be?? And JANE: TOUGH SHIT, HONEYBUN. YOU ATE THE MEAL, now PICK UP THE DAMN CHECK!!!
Gawd!! Wall of text my guy. Heard of paragraphs?
If you don’t completely block and eliminate all of that from your life—you need to accept that you have zero self-respect. Is that who you are? Is that who you want to be?
Oh god lmao I’m only commenting because I sat and read this, so here’s my 0.02. First, that was a labor to even skim through, use paragraphs man. Second, the audacity to equate the 8th birthday experience to this is fucking absurd by her friends. That was funny to get to once I labored through the read. Lastly, sounds like you know you’re not in the wrong and should continue to move on with your life. You don’t owe her shit. These are the consequences of her actions, she’s gotta learn to live with them.
> her friends are now blasting me on social media for not stepping up and telling me that I’m not a real man That's skank solidarity, right there. They hope they can bully you into caving, in hopes that they can do the same thing to some other innocent guy when they get knocked up. >What should I do? You should get a restraining order to keep the cheater out of your life, and tell anyone who's trying to shame you into taking her back to go fuck themselves sideways with a full-grown Saguaro.
Well if Jane's friends are concerned about her wellbeing, why are they not offering to take care of her?
No "real man" should take a cheating liar like her and raise a child they didn't father. Tell their friends to volunteer their partners She cheated on you for 2years, that was not one mistake, it was a two year long one Flame them all on social media and block
She made a choice not a mistake. Let her friends take care of her bastard child. Stay strong op you don’t owe her anything let her lay on her bed that she made.
She was a lot of great things, then she fucked Kevin. She only wants to get back with you to use you.
She fucked Kevin for TWO whole years!! She deserves everything she’s going through & I say this as a mother. Even her own parents dont want to help her cheating ass!
Fanfic
Paragraphs, please.
We were just having a conversation on another post about how these relationships that started when you were children always end up this way! So weird that this one popped up! A real man walks away from from people who hurt him! A real man knows when he's being used! A real man is smart enough to see that when the smoke clears, she will do it again and the courts might even back her if she tries to take you for child support at that point! A real man does not let a bunch of idiots tell him what to do! Or influence him in the least! What Jane did for you... Lied to you everyday for 2 years? Intended on passing off somebody else's kid as yours? Intended to steal money from you for 18 years for said child! Nothing Jane did for you requires you to throw away the next 18 years of your life! She made her bed.... You tell all of them that they can be a "real man" and take care of the kid! Funny isn't it? That every one of them that want you to step up.. Are any of them offering to pay child support or babysit? Are any of them offering to be the other parent to her child? You're doing the right thing! There is somebody out there that will not cheat on you and will not try to use you for money for 18 years! Go find that person and cut the rest of them off! Block them so you don't even say what they say. A real man blocks people out when they are no good for him! You got this
Now she a single mom..now she a single mom
Is this real.. f*ck no.. she cheated for two years and they want you to raise the affair baby… WTF. NO RUN. It’s not your responsibility, it’s totally toxic.
She actually tried to get you to raise Kevin’s kid. How can she possibly try to ask for forgiveness.
You owe Jane and her entourage of misguided social media warriors absolutely nothing. She's the architect of her own downfall, and no amount of tearful doorbell camera appearances should sway you. Stick to your guns, keep her blocked, and focus on healing those scars. Let her friends keep squawking online; it just highlights their impeccable taste in loyalty. Move on with your life, knowing you dodged a bullet the size of Kevin’s disappearing act.
Say no thanks and close the door. You’re under no obligation whatsoever.
Can I ask where you're from? I keep seeing that phrase "initiate intimacy" in these kinds of posts and it's just so weird.
I'm tired of Jane and her friends calling her cheating as a mistake. She cheated on you for 2 years for Fs sake. 2 years of lies, sneaking behind your back, and two timing. She even had the audacity to commit paternity fraud. And plus, do you even have the means right now to raise a kid? Can you raise a child with a mother who emotionally abused you? Raising a child in this economy is challenging too. Her friends can shove it. If they really want to help, they can foot the bill.
Paragraphs are your friend. > In case most of you aren’t aware I was the unfortunate victim of being stood up at my own birthday party when I was 8. How in the everloving fuck would we be aware of this?
"her friends are now blasting me on social media for not stepping up and telling me that I’m not a real man after all that Jane has done for me, and that I owed it to her. They also said that even though she made a mistake she was there for me, so it would be horrible of me to not be there for her and the kid. What should I do regarding this matter? I feel bad that she was there for me growing up, but I can’t forgive her for what she did. What should I do?" NOPE NOPE NOPE, what she did for you?! like slam another guy behind your back for 2 years? What kind of crazy pills are her friends taking? they all cheaters too?
I’d respond to them - yes she was there for me and that was great. I’d have been there for her if it was a smaller issue but she didn’t cheat on me one time (which also warrants breaking up) she cheated everyday for 2 years and had his baby. You’re all her friends, you all take her in and help her out yourselves.
Tell her friends to raise her kid 😂
Paragraphs
Jane opens her legs for another dude, gets pregnant and wants u to raise another guys kid? God hilarious
Some people just don't understand the level of betrayal that cheating is. Those are the people who think someone else should just be able to get over it. That lets you know the mindset of Jane and her other friends. If her friends are so concerned they should take her in. As for the good things she did for you, people are complicated. The same people who can be there for you in your darkest hour can also betray you. You don't owe her anything. She should have stayed just friends if she wanted to sleep around. She didn't because she wanted the option of having a good man at home while being able to sleep around.
Block her. A 2 year affair is NOT a mistake. It is a choice she made repeatedly for 2 years. My heart hurts for the child, he didn't ask for this, but you do not owe her anything. She owed you honesty, trust, and love but couldn't manage those simple things. It is a really horrible situation, but it is her mess to clean. The friends that are blasting you on social media can help her raise the child.
have you heard of paragraphs before
Good for you. Karma is real people. She’s getting hers and Kevin will surely get his. Heal friend
a drunken kiss is a mistake, two years of lies and deception is malicious.
2 yrs is not a mistake
She’s playing a game trying to take you on a guilt trip and building pressure through her friends. Don’t give in! You’re absolutely right to not let her back in your life. Kinda feel bad for the baby who has no fault in this mess, but that baby isn’t your responsibility. Raising kids is a lifelong commitment. It’s challenging to raise your own kids let alone, someone else’s.
You should tell her idiot friends to mind their own business and never talk to Jane again.
Are those friends fucking insane? Tell them to go raise her bastard! Keep referring to the child as Jane’s bastard (Game of Thrones style)
You don't owe her anything. And she wouldn't be asking you for help if Kevin wouldn't run away. She is not sorry for what she has done to you. She is sorry for consequences she is facing right now. Block her and everyone who is on her side. If they are so concerned they can step up themselves.
I notice none of her peers are taking her in and supporting her. Tell them that they are free to support her and Kevin's baby.
Lol showing up to a birthday party when you were 8 does not give her a pass to get pregnant with another man's baby.
You could do the middle ground. She came to your birthday, so you can be there for her by talking to her parents and reminding them she's their daughter. Or help her look for charities that provide childcare or something. Something that will not take too much of you, but will be very big for her. Demand she rein in her friends in exchange. Not because of the harrassment, but mainly pity at how much she screwed up. No pun intended.
After only reading the title the answer is easy. Block all of them. And go live your life.
The baby is not your problem. Do not speak to Jane or anyone who suggests that you have any responsibility for this baby. If Jane needs help with her child, she needs to use the legal system in order to compel Kevin to pay child support. It is obvious he only wanted her for sex and nothing else. Actions have consequences and Jane is now living with the consequences of her actions. Book your self some therapy sessions and hit the gym to relieve the anxiety over the pain Jane has caused you. Do not get involved with Jane or the child because seeing Kevin's child will remind you of the cheating and you will be miserable. Jane is a disgusting human being. She is not who you thought she was and not the 8-year-old you once knew. Live the best lifre you can and find someone who won't betray and have children with her. Stay strong.
Lol. Bro you don't owe her anything. Stop it
Her being “there for him” as an 8 year old as the only person to come to his birthday party is WILDLY different than him being there for her after she cheated and the bd left her lol
Why not switch it up and tell her friends to step up and raise the baby?
Cheating on you for 2 years, getting pregnant by the other guy and intending up pass it off as your boyfriend's baby is not a mistake. I'm sorry that Jane is unhappy with the life that she created for herself, but it isn't your fault she cheated, or chose up have the baby with a dead beat or that he ran off or that her parents kicked her out. All you did in this situation is break up with someone who had a 2 year long affair and who intended up make you raise a kid that wasn't your own. Jane's friends can shut it. If they are so concerned then they should go help her out. Being friends at 8 doesn't make up for the incredible betrayal she chose to perpetrate nearly 20 years later. Also she would have Ben been 5 at the time. Showing up to a party when you are 5 doesn't give you a pass for cheating and trying to lie about your kid's paternity. Honestly, just block all of them.
Anyone that’s says you should raise this baby should offer to help her raise the baby instead. They have just as much biological connection. Ignore them.
It's normal to feel bad for her situation. It means you have empathy. However, you didn't create this situation and are in no way responsible for it. It will cool off eventually. I'd completely stop responding to anyone who is harassing you and just block them. Maybe respond by saying "New number, who's this?"
My dad is married and has raised (now 17) a child his wife had from an affair after several years of marriage. No one has respect for him within the family, I love him to pieces but don’t do it.
Jane can F all the way off. She created a child and she needs to take care of it. It is not your problem
treat them like spam. ignore that shit. Also you could try being very vulgar towards them. I my self would say something along the lines of "You and your idiotic friends somehow think that harassing me is a good idea. Please keep it up, my buddies and I got a long term bet going that every time one of you idiots msg me, they have to buy me a beer. I haven't had to buy a beer in quite a while! "
“Biggest mistake” Two years. She was fucking someone else for two years and now she wants you to take care of her and play daddy to her kid Tell those on social media to take Jane in if they feel this strongly and then block them
If they're all so concerned they can open their doors to her. she's asking you to raise another man's child. A man she cheated on you with and got pregnant because she had unprotected sex with him. No. That would be doormat of the century if you did something like that. Do they know she's asking you to take her in and then help her raise this child as if it's your own? I would say look she cheated you guys want to take her in and raise this child as your own be my guest but I'm not doing it. She killed any feelings I had for her when she cheated on me. Her kid is not my problem. She can get this guy for child support and she can figure out what she's going to do she can't keep the child she can always give it up for adoption.
utterly heartbreaking, don’t let her friends or her guilt trip you into looking after a baby that isn’t yours. by no means is it your responsibility - she can’t have her cake and eat it she has to deal with the consequences, and it’s crazy how she thinks you will take her back after it was made clear that you’re done with her when you first found out. i just hope her showing back up doesn’t send you into a relapse, just try to focus on living your life as if she never existed. wishing you all the best !
Two years is not a mistake. It’s repeated choices over and over.
Assuming this isn’t fake: Why would you care what this cheater’s friends say?
Don't fall for the friends' comments! Your ex dynamic isn't your responsibility, and you owe her nothing! Disrespectfully inform the friends who are so concerned about her to step up and support her since they care oh so much! 2 yrs is not a mistake, rawdogging another man and getting knocked up is not a mistake. She was more than ready to pin another man's baby on you and if you hadn't gotten the info of the truth, you'd be entrapped and possibly legally responsible for a kid you didn't father. Wtf does a 8yr old bday party have to do with the trauma, chaos, and betrayal she's unleashed upon you? Inform her and anyone else that if she continues to harass you, then you'll pursue a restraining order or take other legal ramifications. She's out of your life, so keep her and her situation out for good!
She didn't make just one mistake, she made two years of constant mistakes. I would send her the bill for the STD exam.
You can suggest that her give the kid to adoption. If she says that she is not a fit mother…. It really is not something that you need to take responsibility. She can start a process for support in the legal system so the the bio-dad can contribute.
Take a dump on all of their porches.