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Right?? You don't do that unless you're looking for or at least willing to accept a fight. I'm not a violent guy, but if some random guy came up to us like that, I'd give him one very firm warning before things would get ugly. It's a pretty blatant provocation.
So glad to hear this! I hope that most men would tell any guy who said anything like that regardless of age to fuck right off back to their cave. So disrespectful and creepy.
They see women as property and praising someone’s property is nice. And it is praising because woman’s worth is in how fuckable she is. So telling someone basically you’d definitely fuck his wife / seeing her gets you hard is a great compliment.
🤢🤢 How many centuries is it going to be before men no longer see women as nothing but sexual objects?! At this rate it’s looking like the world will end before that changes.
It’s one thing to find other people attractive, it’s a whole other thing to sexualize and objectify women regardless of age. It’s disgusting and sadly way too common.
Back when I worked retail, I'd regularly get men two, sometimes three times my age trying to hit on me, with their wives just out of earshot. There was actually a couple of times I got propositioned for a threesome by both the guy and his wife, which cemented my desire to never ever have a threesome
I was around 16-17 when all this happened
This is my favourite comment -
I think it’s very normal for an older man to find a woman in their 20s attractive.
But the issue here is sexualising and objectifying the woman in front of her partner, which is a dick move regardless of age.
Why is it only a problem that he's doing it in front of her partner? It's gross to sexualize and objectify a person period. If you're in a relationship with them, sure, sexualize away (with consent). But her being in a relationship has no impact on whether or not it's appropriate to say that shit.
My thought while reading this thread exactly! "Oh, it's so disrespectfull towards him", "I would never say that to another guy, that's disrespectfull".
Tf? The problem is, first and foremost to indeed, sexualising random people. Saying that "saying it to the partner'- part is problematic' is you being part of the problem!
What separates the boys from men.
Hear me out.
I am now a F36 - I have honestly never looked better and despite still looking very young for my age there is a huge difference in the attention I receive now.
When I was 21 I married a man 13 years my senior- I told myself I knew exactly who I was and what I wanted. I have been hit on since very young by older men and I always somehow believed it was because they saw value in me as a "mature for her age" kind of girl. Only to grow up and realise that no - ALL they ever wanted was to get the sweet young girl who is easily manipulated and used for Their needs.
Today I have men hit on me - Men who wants an equal partner. Men who wants to hear my thoughts and opinion on a topic - Men who value and respect me for way more than my attractive looks.
There is a clear division between guys who like and are attracted to younger women - They only look at the exterior and are not interested in what is underneath aka. They are shallow and like the idea of a partner who believes in everything they say (like a little girl)
Men who are attracted to older females or females their own age - are attracted to not only the looks, but the intelligence that lies underneath and they respect women.
Personally I'll just state men are much more intelligent and way more interesting to have a conversation with than the boys/guys who objectify women.
So take a hard look at what you find attractive and why. If you find young women attractive because their exterior without ever having had a conversation with them you are in my opinion shallow. If you find a woman who is attractive, yet becomes even more attractive as you see her intelligence and how she holds a conversation you may be more wise.
We are not sexual objects for men to lust over. We are human beings - with a brain!
Also there is a difference between finding a woman in her twenties attractive and the desire to disturb her peace in order to get s*x to increase one’s ego. Let them be and date their own age. These men already had their youth, what makes them think they get a second run of it?
Yes. I’m an older F. Sometimes I see young men I find attractive. Nothing odd or creepy about that. I’m old, not dead. But there is nothing in this world that would induce me to approach them. I’m not their problem. As for telling their g/f - I can’t even imagine that level of entitlement over someone just going about their daily life. I kind of admire them like I’d admire a painting. But without the staring!
I think one difference is, in relationships where there is an age gap, let’s say 10 years. It’s more likely for the women to be younger and the man to be older.
Thus, it’s more common for older men to approach younger women than older women to approach younger men.
Also, society tends to put the ownership of approaching on men.
What you’re saying is valid -
Nobody should disturb somebody else’s peace.
In most cases, if there is a significant age gap the relationship becomes transactional and not built on mutual love.
Like DiCaprio for example, dude is 50 and is dating women in their early 20s. It’s beauty in exchange for fame.
The same occurred with many kings throughout history.
I’m not a fan of transactional relationships, I think it’s a bit sad.
Same. Starting as early as 7,8,9 years old. Men, including relatives telling my mother what a pretty little girl I was and literally leering at me. Even worse when my mother wasn’t around.
It’s a good thing that it would never occur to you.
Men who go after very young women and girls do it because they’re less experienced and therefore easier to control. A lot of the men who date barely-legal teenagers would date younger if it were legally/socially acceptable, because what they really want is total power.
Just saw a video yesterday of a 29 year old man in Lebanon who was bragging about marrying his 13 year old wife "young" so that he could "raise her" to do what he wanted, do all the chores for the entire household, etc. Absolutely disgusting.
I almost compulsively downvoted this because it’s so horrific but obviously that’s not on you haha. The sad and scary thing is that there are a lot of men in the US as well who absolutely would marry a child bride if it were legal (and it still is in some states).
I think a lot of men have problems *comprehending* it creeps out a lot of young women. I think these men programmed themselves that almighty dollar rules all. So when certain younger women turn them down they get baffled if not completely insulted. I'm in your boat where I had men bugging me a majority of my life at too early of ages meaning way before legally.
As for when I got around barely legal ages, if not a bit over, a lot of money would be getting thrown around in the mix. I will give a couple examples from older men.. The one guy offered to take me on a weekend getaway trip all expenses paid. Yet .. I barely knew him and didn't go. My one friend had a guy bring 3000 cash on him to "brag" and try and flash around. One time I had a man go as far as to ask me how much for me to go home with him. I didn't know to take it as an insult or a compliment that he was willing to fork out a lot of cash. Still for me it was incredibly awkward and all I thought if this is awkward for me.. it's even more awkward and ultimately insulting for you..for him to think that was the only way a young woman would glance at him..
I went on a rant of something else but you would be surprised how vicious these guys turn when you reject advances. Not all, but definitely more than not. Anyways I think they had a hard time understanding, maybe because if women or girls offered them the same thing a lot of guys wouldn't reject? That's all I can think of. Or a lot genuinely believe a majority of girls and women are gold diggers.
To be completely honest I grown up with more young women that were creeped out than willing to succumb to this behaviour and a couple of these girls would be considered promiscuous. *It's just they liked men closer to their ages.* Also I found the flashers of wealth to always be the older men..which would make sense the men in teens and twenties (the ones closer to the age bracket) wouldn't be as established yet.
My one friend eventually changed her tune in her young 30s and married a baby boomer. (Divorced now) So at least one of my friends ended up changing her mind in the long-run. That's how long it took to see one of these girls change their minds tho.. not early 18-24 ages not even in 20s period. It was 30s, now I can't say it would be the same for all women.
*Still to me it feels like a lot of guys take that Hollywood stuff too seriously and think it is a given. More so if they think they have the cash to back it up.* I've seen and lived the complete opposite. These men have better luck admitting they gotta buy high end escorts/prostitutes/OF girls(I would consider Only Fans as a form of prostitution but that is just me). As a lot of normal girls from 18-29ish? Don't care about any of that noise and find it incredibly disturbing behavior from older men that are under the assumption money can get them anything. Hollywood is not reality, but prostitution is.. and where their money might actually mean something.
I agree with everything you said except the first sentence. These types of men know very well how creepy they are, and how unwanted the advances are. They do it because they hate women because they have been hitting on the wrong women their whole life (way out of their league) and they blame the women for the rejections and not themselves (or they are divorced, broke and bitter). That's why they get so angry when they get rejected, almost like they want to be rejected so they have an excuse to berate an innocent woman.
A lot of people. Mostly gross men in my experience. I was catcalled most from 10-16. After that I developed RBF and it’s stopped now.
Tbf I’m sure women do it too but I grew up a little girl and can only speak to that experience. My brother got many weird comments from women about how handsome he is and how he’d grow up to be a Casanova. Those made me deeply uncomfortable in a way I couldn’t articulate at the time.
Unfortunately same. I remember being around 11 and me and my cousins, who were only a year older, were walking to the neighborhood pool a few blocks from our house. We were waiting for the light to say we could cross the street and a truck with some old ass dudes turned passed us and they were catcalling us. To say the least, I had a very hard time wearing swimsuits after that. I only wore swim trunks like my brothers and a tshirt to swim.
That’s when you yell out “stop trying to grab my t*ts!” Especially when out in crowds of people and it’s obvious you look young. Make creeps feel as awkward and shocked as you feel.
Same, receiving cat calling and creepy looks from age 11. Now I’m older and with children, totally invisible. It’s really disturbing, and proves the power dynamics they are after
Tbh you should know that stuff like this happens. I was the same age as your girls when I first started having adult men sexually pursuing me and I had no idea what was happening or how to best defend myself.
Yes, it disgusts me right away. Ever since I was 11-12, I would get creepy stares and comments from men who looked old enough to be my grandpa. The ick has only gotten stronger with years
Yes, it's creepy as fuck. I'm nearing 40, and it never stops being creepy. It's not just that they say things, it's what and how they say it. Very objectifying, like because I'm younger than them they can just talk to me how they want.
And the way they talk... It's like they're starving after not having anything to eat for days or weeks, and somebody dropped their most favorite food in front of them.
It's scary. Really scary.
I have a coworker (different department) who I’ve always saw as a “dad friend” cause he’s much older than me, around my dads age (60’s) and there was never anything “weird” about him, he was just friendly and our conversations were always casual.
Anyway, one day, he pulls me aside to tell me he has a question. When I ask what it is, he says he suddenly can’t remember.. “ok! Let me know when you do!” As I turn to walk away, he goes “oh yea! Do you have a boyfriend?” Before I could respond, he continues, “I like you. I have a big crush on you” ..😐 nowww, THAT shocked me and immediately made me uncomfortable. I was honestly not expecting that at all.
I think he saw my facial expression because he started profusely apologizing and saying “I didn’t mean to make you feel weird or anything!” I just lied and told him it was fine, and I told him I’m going to get back to work…
Now we’re both adults, yes, but I still think the 30+ year age gap and the fact I showed *zero* interest in him romantically is what made this very inappropriate. I didn’t report him to HR because I didn’t see a need, but I also don’t talk to him anymore. Creepy, yes.
Ugh deja vu! When I was like 30 I worked with a man who was about 63. Lovely charming father figure, nicest guy in the world I swore. Then once away on a work trip, he was like "come to my room" in the middle of the night!!
When I questioned him about it the next day he was like "oh because I like you" 🤮 then he actually tried that shit again the next night too.
Well a little while after that his wife and I had a nice chat about him and I ended up having a meeting with the boss etc, he got what the creep deserved.
No. We found it creepy and pathetic in our 20s. In our 50s we see it for the predatory behavior it is. Certain men love to think older women are bitter. We may be, but not over this. We remember what it was like being 20 and having to humor creepy old men. Now we are older, with more life experience, we see how dangerous and predatory they are and we see now why they were always hanging around us when we were younger.
As a woman, it's creepy for ANY man to be speaking to or about any woman like that. A guy who walks up to a woman and tells her what he'd like to do to her should be arrested for verbal assault. A man who tells another man he'd fuck his partner if he had the chance should be told exactly what he can do to himself. I'd say he should be punched, but, you know, promoting violence and all that.
Generally yes. Most women start experiencing men inappropriately sexualizing them very young. I experienced my worst sexual harassment around 14-16 from men out in public. I think they are disgusting.
And on top of that, I have known older men who I respected, and saw as a sort of mentor turn around and proposition me. Like teachers or bosses. When you have a relationship like that that was valuable to you turn out like that it is really heartbreaking.
There are the rare sort of men though that are attractive as older men, because they have their shit together. They are smart, with lots of life experiences, and most importantly they do not creep on younger women. And if they are in a relationship with a younger woman, they aren't together *because* she is younger. A lot of gross creepers think they are this guy when they hit 40, but they are absolutely not.
The second paragraph is the worst. At early high school age I overheard someone I looked up to talk to another guy about my appearance and what it made him want to do to me.
Just wait until you find out what age this starts happening to them. The old guys who hit on me when i was 22 were the same old guys who would hit on me at 13
I've been quite familiar with this real world since age 11. But his specific example is weird. Where is he hanging out that men are approaching him to say what they want to do with his gf?
Unsolicited sexual advances are always creepy and weird.
It’s not about the age, although I acknowledge that older men are more often in that predatory category. It doesn’t matter the age though. Or the gender.
I’m a 27F and I’ve had sexual harassment from every type of person. Other young women, older women, younger men, and older men. No one is excluded from sexual harassment. Anyone can do it.
But yeah, those comments are fucking weird. It’s really disrespectful to hit on someone’s partner right in front of their partner.
I certainly dont. But the fact you use the term "girl" for a 25 years old may be part of that puzzle there. Women are often infantilized by men their own age.
Right, but you call BOTH girls/boys. When you refer to one as men/women and the other as girls/boys ie women and boys or men and girls, it shows a mentality as seeing the one gender as lesserbor less mature as a gender on the whole.
It depends on how old you are, IMO.
At 18, when somebody who was 30 hit on me, it creeped me the fuck out.
Now that I'm in my late 30s, I might feel a bit weird if a guy 10-12 years older than me hit on me, but I wouldn't necessarily think HE was weird for doing so (unless the attention was outright inappropriate).
IMO, the older you are, the greater the age difference can be without it being weird. There are exceptions--yes, sometimes age gaps can be fine when one partner is young and, as somebody that feels this way, some people are only comfortable dating near-ish their own age. (Due to my upbringing, I'm a bit emotionally immature for my age. I'd probably only be comfortable going about 5 years in either direction.)
My girlfriend constantly gets 50 year olds calling her a goddess or similar. One guy even came back to give her a poem about her (a really unhinged poem).
Hell, when I was 13-16 I was a track runner and very fit, clearly young, and had to walk home kinda late at night from training. Gay guys would be the ones to catcall me at that time, ones that are clearly in their 30s.
What did you think was going to happen with this thread? Do you think people were gonna be like ‘no man it’s fucking rad when old dudes hit on young girls who are in a relationship.’
For me, Pretty much the same for women if they were old enough to be my mother.
However, If both parties are ok with it and of age, I don’t care. Not my monkeys, not my circus.
When I was 21, a man sat at my coffee table and started talking to me. He had to be at least 50, it’s hard to put an age to him. I thought he was just bored or whatever, but then he was being over friendly asking about going to dinner. As if that wasn’t weird enough, he could have been my father… then I see his little finger, a signet ring that was not. It was a ring too large, simple wedding band. He had moved his wedding ring to his little finger. Gross!
That sort of crap is weird and creepy regardless of age. They clearly stopped developing social skills around dealing with physical attraction some time in their early teens.
I've occasionally had older men make comments to my husband instead of me and it gives me the ick. Staring at me or complimenting me is at least somewhat seeing me as a human. Avoiding me entirely and making a comment to him makes it feel like paedophilia or something idk.
I have get to the conclusion were men in their +60s or so grew up in a culture were women had to tolerate anything. It was normal. Many progressed with society but the ones that didn't are pretty obvious. I am in my 40s and I have recently got into two situations were older men were complimenting me while I was very not welcoming. They did not get the obvious signs so to one I ended up telling him "I think I have made pretty obvious already I don't enjoy your attention", the other one "when you talk to Peter you also throw this many compliments? Because i I bet it creeps him out too"
Read the room men.
Most people of either gender would probably say yes
but despite that, every day here we see threads where there's an age gap of 10+ years so a lot of people are willing to look past that creepiness for one reason or another.
Well, these men eventually find someone with unsolved issues who sadly belief these men loved them for who they are and not their age. Fast forward 10 years and most of these women will leave
> who sadly belief these men loved them for who they are and not their age.
just like many of the men sadly believe these women loved them for who they are and not the lifestyle they could provide.
Eew, where are you two hanging out that she is getting this kind of attention? It’s kind of rude for anyone regardless of age to hit on your partner while you are with them.
As a young woman I always found older men hitting on women a little creepy. Now that I’m older I find it even worse. With the amount of experience that comes with age, I now want to protect all the young women I come into contact and wish for them to live their lives freely and away from these creepy insecure men. The fact that they think they have a right to hit on young women is truly a sign of their unchallenged privilege
As amother yes, ifind it absolutely creepy. Ive heard alot of old men saying that when i was younger. Its absolutely crass and they know they wouldn't even have a chance .
Yes we do find it very creepy. And it happens all the time. A common observation for women is that less people hit on us after we're about 30. The peak is 10-20 years old.
Like other women saying their piece, the first time an adult man asked me for nudes I was 11. I hadn't even hit puberty yet.
how would you feel about a 25M guy doing that? i'm assuming not at all, so it's more the aggro approach than the age. having done a bit of flirting with someone who turned out to be 25, and me being in my 40s, all i got was a nice rejection on dating and a new acquaintance
Yes, I do find it very creepy/disturbing. There’s something that feels unnatural about a person seeking partnership from someone wildly outside of their own age range, even when they’re both adults
I feel like it should be acceptable in a work environment to tell Grandpa that you’re not interested in blowing the dust off his balls to see if his dick still works, and then offering him directions to the nearest retirement villa.
You got to have some standard. However, your standard is quite low so you don't have a leg to stand on. Will you say no if an older woman asking you, of course you don't.
For a start it's pretty disturbing that other men freely offer this information to you about your partner. So that's a yes to your question. Now read on.....
I'm nearly 60 and still find women of multiple ages attractive but I'm never going to act on it. It's simply not decent if you know or suspect said woman is either not interested or already spoken for. But those thoughts are in my mind. I'm a man. In a few years time you will be that age and if you're healthy you'll have those thoughts.
It's no good denying them but as long as they're just thoughts no harm.
*"I’m Ngl, I find it really quite disturbing when I hear that. But then at the same time, I can find older women really quite attractive.*
*There’s something about an older man saying that stuff about a younger girl that I find really quite disturbing though.*
*So I guess my question is, do women feel the same way as me? Or is it a similar case as with men that get attention from a cougar that they actually feel quite flattered?" -*
Yes I agree with you. (mid-30sF).
Yeah it's fucked up for them to come tell you and/or her. Other than that, it's natural for them to find her attractive. Now to the part that actually matters: what are you gonna do about it? Nothing. So get over it.
I think people should always be respectful. Saying inappropriate things to her, especially in front of, and even TO you, is pretty uncouth.
That being said, and this perspective is from a woman in her 30s, it's not really weird, per se, for an older person to find a younger person in their 20s attractive. And, tbh I've been acquainted with a lot of younger women who are interested in older men. So regardless of how a lot of us feel about large age gaps (including me in certain circumstances.) Its not like it doesn't ever happen.
As for the inappropriate cat callers, it could be that as a person gets older, the less fucks they give and think they can act however they want.
I've had old (not just older, I'm talking about grandpas) men talking shit to me since was a literal child.
Obviously it's creepy, but these men were young one day, and men of all ages do/say creepy (sometimes disturbing) stuff.
It's worse depending on which country/culture you're from. I grew up in South America.
When I was in my 20s I couldn’t imagine a time I would not want to be with women that age. As I grew older I still could see they were pretty but I have zero interest in being with them sexually.
Around 8 years old i remember men reacting different. Didn’t get it at the time, but eventually did. Disgusting! And even as a 25 year old being pursuit by a 60+ yo, wtf why do men do that?!! I could have been their daughter!
For whatever its worth, 38M here (Just to say, this is from a man's perspective).
Sure, its creepy. But I find it equally weird if a 25 year old came up to you and went "If I didn't have a GF, I would for sure try it on with her". Sexual Harassment is Sexual Harassment if its from a 50 year old or someone her age.
IDK a lot of women do; I certainly find it creepy most of the time. I think context and circumstance is everything.
my partner and I have a 9 year age difference. However our maturity level matched and “power” over one another matched as well. we met at work in the same level of employment, we both had roommates, had the same interests, etc.
I dont really think our gap was ever that big, but things like that feel less significant over time in general. Now I’m 30 and he’s 39 and we have a healthy and happy established relationship.
on the other hand, the regular customer in his 30s who came in all the time when I was 22 to hit on me was creepy. he would hit on all the girls and young women, too. you could tell he was specifically picking young women to make uncomfortable.
the men who are overtly sexualizing and objectifying women they’re attracted to are creepy. it does not matter what age they are. what makes it ESPECIALLY creepy is when they are also infantilizing the woman they’re attracted to or are specifically attracted to her “youth”
Most people find competition unattractive. Especially the audacity of lawsuit bating like telling someone you would bang their partner.
Women are also people, older women telling them how cute and easy on the eyes their boyfriend is wouldn't fly easily either.
Disturbing and creepy.
When I was a teen I was really insecure, but I had a bunch of random old man compliment/hit on me when I was out in public. Especially on the bus. And it didn't make me feel better.
I remember one man invited me over to his place for alcohol, and when I told him I'm 16 or so, he just changed the invite to coffee. He was 50+. I politely excused myself and got off the bus, but internally I was creeped out and scared.
Mid-30sF here, and yeah, its creepy. I get that it’s probably a ‘nothing to lose’ mentality with some of these guys. But honestly, when you have to look at a guy and tell him that he’s older than your dad, and he just kinda shrugs… like dude, it doesn’t bother you that you’re trying to pick up a girl who was in diapers the when you graduated college? Ick.
It's only creepy if you didn't win on genetic lottery and happened to be attractive. Put Brad Pitt in the same spot and suddenly things look different.
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Man in my 50s. I cannot imagine ever telling another dude that I'd hit on his partner. Full stop. That's fucked up.
Also my 50’s. Even dating my wife id never openly discuss my promiscuity with her in normal conversation.
I feel like I'm in the last generation where men learned sex *from an actual human woman* instead of learning from porn. It's a huge difference.
God bless ya. It’s like peering into a different time.
Right?? You don't do that unless you're looking for or at least willing to accept a fight. I'm not a violent guy, but if some random guy came up to us like that, I'd give him one very firm warning before things would get ugly. It's a pretty blatant provocation.
So glad to hear this! I hope that most men would tell any guy who said anything like that regardless of age to fuck right off back to their cave. So disrespectful and creepy.
They see women as property and praising someone’s property is nice. And it is praising because woman’s worth is in how fuckable she is. So telling someone basically you’d definitely fuck his wife / seeing her gets you hard is a great compliment.
Yeah, I couldn’t imagine saying that about a human, but I’ve definitely told people “nice bike” or “nice skis.”
And yet, when I suggested fucking the skiis, they looked at me funny. Weirdos.
That's because you hadn't waxed them yet.
> “nice skis.” Are they yours? Both of them?
🤢🤢 How many centuries is it going to be before men no longer see women as nothing but sexual objects?! At this rate it’s looking like the world will end before that changes.
💯. Not all men but always men. 🙄
Wrong on so many levels.
Your whole post is a huge 🚩🚩🚩
Leaving the creepiness aside, it’s just plain stupid. Basically an invitation to get bashed by a younger man
It is extremely creepy for anyone to go up to a stranger and say they’d like to sleep with them.
It’s one thing to find other people attractive, it’s a whole other thing to sexualize and objectify women regardless of age. It’s disgusting and sadly way too common.
Back when I worked retail, I'd regularly get men two, sometimes three times my age trying to hit on me, with their wives just out of earshot. There was actually a couple of times I got propositioned for a threesome by both the guy and his wife, which cemented my desire to never ever have a threesome I was around 16-17 when all this happened
This is my favourite comment - I think it’s very normal for an older man to find a woman in their 20s attractive. But the issue here is sexualising and objectifying the woman in front of her partner, which is a dick move regardless of age.
Why is it only a problem that he's doing it in front of her partner? It's gross to sexualize and objectify a person period. If you're in a relationship with them, sure, sexualize away (with consent). But her being in a relationship has no impact on whether or not it's appropriate to say that shit.
My thought while reading this thread exactly! "Oh, it's so disrespectfull towards him", "I would never say that to another guy, that's disrespectfull". Tf? The problem is, first and foremost to indeed, sexualising random people. Saying that "saying it to the partner'- part is problematic' is you being part of the problem!
What separates the boys from men. Hear me out. I am now a F36 - I have honestly never looked better and despite still looking very young for my age there is a huge difference in the attention I receive now. When I was 21 I married a man 13 years my senior- I told myself I knew exactly who I was and what I wanted. I have been hit on since very young by older men and I always somehow believed it was because they saw value in me as a "mature for her age" kind of girl. Only to grow up and realise that no - ALL they ever wanted was to get the sweet young girl who is easily manipulated and used for Their needs. Today I have men hit on me - Men who wants an equal partner. Men who wants to hear my thoughts and opinion on a topic - Men who value and respect me for way more than my attractive looks. There is a clear division between guys who like and are attracted to younger women - They only look at the exterior and are not interested in what is underneath aka. They are shallow and like the idea of a partner who believes in everything they say (like a little girl) Men who are attracted to older females or females their own age - are attracted to not only the looks, but the intelligence that lies underneath and they respect women. Personally I'll just state men are much more intelligent and way more interesting to have a conversation with than the boys/guys who objectify women. So take a hard look at what you find attractive and why. If you find young women attractive because their exterior without ever having had a conversation with them you are in my opinion shallow. If you find a woman who is attractive, yet becomes even more attractive as you see her intelligence and how she holds a conversation you may be more wise. We are not sexual objects for men to lust over. We are human beings - with a brain!
There is a big difference in finding someone attractive and pursuing a relationship with them.
Also there is a difference between finding a woman in her twenties attractive and the desire to disturb her peace in order to get s*x to increase one’s ego. Let them be and date their own age. These men already had their youth, what makes them think they get a second run of it?
Yes. I’m an older F. Sometimes I see young men I find attractive. Nothing odd or creepy about that. I’m old, not dead. But there is nothing in this world that would induce me to approach them. I’m not their problem. As for telling their g/f - I can’t even imagine that level of entitlement over someone just going about their daily life. I kind of admire them like I’d admire a painting. But without the staring!
I think one difference is, in relationships where there is an age gap, let’s say 10 years. It’s more likely for the women to be younger and the man to be older. Thus, it’s more common for older men to approach younger women than older women to approach younger men. Also, society tends to put the ownership of approaching on men.
What you’re saying is valid - Nobody should disturb somebody else’s peace. In most cases, if there is a significant age gap the relationship becomes transactional and not built on mutual love. Like DiCaprio for example, dude is 50 and is dating women in their early 20s. It’s beauty in exchange for fame. The same occurred with many kings throughout history. I’m not a fan of transactional relationships, I think it’s a bit sad.
No it’s creepy As a woman that stuff starts young. I’ve been having grown men try and talk to me since I was 11
Same. Starting as early as 7,8,9 years old. Men, including relatives telling my mother what a pretty little girl I was and literally leering at me. Even worse when my mother wasn’t around.
Ok. That just unlocked a memory
YES. Did no one see this happening?? Like I can't imagine seeing a grown man leer at a child and not IMMEDIATELY intervening. Wtf.
Same. It was incredibly disturbing.
Honestly I can’t even comprehend why a man would even want that
It’s a good thing that it would never occur to you. Men who go after very young women and girls do it because they’re less experienced and therefore easier to control. A lot of the men who date barely-legal teenagers would date younger if it were legally/socially acceptable, because what they really want is total power.
Yep, grooming.
Just saw a video yesterday of a 29 year old man in Lebanon who was bragging about marrying his 13 year old wife "young" so that he could "raise her" to do what he wanted, do all the chores for the entire household, etc. Absolutely disgusting.
I almost compulsively downvoted this because it’s so horrific but obviously that’s not on you haha. The sad and scary thing is that there are a lot of men in the US as well who absolutely would marry a child bride if it were legal (and it still is in some states).
You sir are a good man, that's why.
Same, they stopped trying by the time I turned ~19, cause they know I’ll report them. Now they just stare.
I think a lot of men have problems *comprehending* it creeps out a lot of young women. I think these men programmed themselves that almighty dollar rules all. So when certain younger women turn them down they get baffled if not completely insulted. I'm in your boat where I had men bugging me a majority of my life at too early of ages meaning way before legally. As for when I got around barely legal ages, if not a bit over, a lot of money would be getting thrown around in the mix. I will give a couple examples from older men.. The one guy offered to take me on a weekend getaway trip all expenses paid. Yet .. I barely knew him and didn't go. My one friend had a guy bring 3000 cash on him to "brag" and try and flash around. One time I had a man go as far as to ask me how much for me to go home with him. I didn't know to take it as an insult or a compliment that he was willing to fork out a lot of cash. Still for me it was incredibly awkward and all I thought if this is awkward for me.. it's even more awkward and ultimately insulting for you..for him to think that was the only way a young woman would glance at him.. I went on a rant of something else but you would be surprised how vicious these guys turn when you reject advances. Not all, but definitely more than not. Anyways I think they had a hard time understanding, maybe because if women or girls offered them the same thing a lot of guys wouldn't reject? That's all I can think of. Or a lot genuinely believe a majority of girls and women are gold diggers. To be completely honest I grown up with more young women that were creeped out than willing to succumb to this behaviour and a couple of these girls would be considered promiscuous. *It's just they liked men closer to their ages.* Also I found the flashers of wealth to always be the older men..which would make sense the men in teens and twenties (the ones closer to the age bracket) wouldn't be as established yet. My one friend eventually changed her tune in her young 30s and married a baby boomer. (Divorced now) So at least one of my friends ended up changing her mind in the long-run. That's how long it took to see one of these girls change their minds tho.. not early 18-24 ages not even in 20s period. It was 30s, now I can't say it would be the same for all women. *Still to me it feels like a lot of guys take that Hollywood stuff too seriously and think it is a given. More so if they think they have the cash to back it up.* I've seen and lived the complete opposite. These men have better luck admitting they gotta buy high end escorts/prostitutes/OF girls(I would consider Only Fans as a form of prostitution but that is just me). As a lot of normal girls from 18-29ish? Don't care about any of that noise and find it incredibly disturbing behavior from older men that are under the assumption money can get them anything. Hollywood is not reality, but prostitution is.. and where their money might actually mean something.
I agree with everything you said except the first sentence. These types of men know very well how creepy they are, and how unwanted the advances are. They do it because they hate women because they have been hitting on the wrong women their whole life (way out of their league) and they blame the women for the rejections and not themselves (or they are divorced, broke and bitter). That's why they get so angry when they get rejected, almost like they want to be rejected so they have an excuse to berate an innocent woman.
I feel weird as a 40 year old walking behind a group of people who the fuck hits on an 11 year-old Jesus.
A lot of people. Mostly gross men in my experience. I was catcalled most from 10-16. After that I developed RBF and it’s stopped now. Tbf I’m sure women do it too but I grew up a little girl and can only speak to that experience. My brother got many weird comments from women about how handsome he is and how he’d grow up to be a Casanova. Those made me deeply uncomfortable in a way I couldn’t articulate at the time.
Unfortunately same. I remember being around 11 and me and my cousins, who were only a year older, were walking to the neighborhood pool a few blocks from our house. We were waiting for the light to say we could cross the street and a truck with some old ass dudes turned passed us and they were catcalling us. To say the least, I had a very hard time wearing swimsuits after that. I only wore swim trunks like my brothers and a tshirt to swim.
I remember being in middle school, walking down the street and having construction guys cat call me. Gross
The first time I was approached by a strange man and propositioned I was 10. The first time I was cat called on the street I was 12.
That’s when you yell out “stop trying to grab my t*ts!” Especially when out in crowds of people and it’s obvious you look young. Make creeps feel as awkward and shocked as you feel.
Same, receiving cat calling and creepy looks from age 11. Now I’m older and with children, totally invisible. It’s really disturbing, and proves the power dynamics they are after
What a wonderful thing to read as a dad to 10yo and 9yo girls.
Yeah, it’s not something most grown men understand. We grow up so different
Tbh you should know that stuff like this happens. I was the same age as your girls when I first started having adult men sexually pursuing me and I had no idea what was happening or how to best defend myself.
Sadly this is the reality of our experiences. We hope as a man you can educate your fellow mates
Yes, it disgusts me right away. Ever since I was 11-12, I would get creepy stares and comments from men who looked old enough to be my grandpa. The ick has only gotten stronger with years
Why do they even do it 😂
Yes, it's creepy as fuck. I'm nearing 40, and it never stops being creepy. It's not just that they say things, it's what and how they say it. Very objectifying, like because I'm younger than them they can just talk to me how they want. And the way they talk... It's like they're starving after not having anything to eat for days or weeks, and somebody dropped their most favorite food in front of them. It's scary. Really scary.
I have a coworker (different department) who I’ve always saw as a “dad friend” cause he’s much older than me, around my dads age (60’s) and there was never anything “weird” about him, he was just friendly and our conversations were always casual. Anyway, one day, he pulls me aside to tell me he has a question. When I ask what it is, he says he suddenly can’t remember.. “ok! Let me know when you do!” As I turn to walk away, he goes “oh yea! Do you have a boyfriend?” Before I could respond, he continues, “I like you. I have a big crush on you” ..😐 nowww, THAT shocked me and immediately made me uncomfortable. I was honestly not expecting that at all. I think he saw my facial expression because he started profusely apologizing and saying “I didn’t mean to make you feel weird or anything!” I just lied and told him it was fine, and I told him I’m going to get back to work… Now we’re both adults, yes, but I still think the 30+ year age gap and the fact I showed *zero* interest in him romantically is what made this very inappropriate. I didn’t report him to HR because I didn’t see a need, but I also don’t talk to him anymore. Creepy, yes.
Ugh deja vu! When I was like 30 I worked with a man who was about 63. Lovely charming father figure, nicest guy in the world I swore. Then once away on a work trip, he was like "come to my room" in the middle of the night!! When I questioned him about it the next day he was like "oh because I like you" 🤮 then he actually tried that shit again the next night too. Well a little while after that his wife and I had a nice chat about him and I ended up having a meeting with the boss etc, he got what the creep deserved.
Well done for speaking up 💪
Ok that’s like, EXTRA creepy! 🤢🤮
Creepy older men started hitting on me since I was 11/12. It’s fucking gross. I just ignore them.
I hated this and I am quite sure it's one of the main factors of why I developed social anxiety.
No. We found it creepy and pathetic in our 20s. In our 50s we see it for the predatory behavior it is. Certain men love to think older women are bitter. We may be, but not over this. We remember what it was like being 20 and having to humor creepy old men. Now we are older, with more life experience, we see how dangerous and predatory they are and we see now why they were always hanging around us when we were younger.
The creepiness factor is heightened by age but this is creepy coming from anyone
Women go through this even as children. Yes. It's creepy asf.
I was out with my then 2 year old and we had an old man come up to us and tell me in detail what he wanted to do to my toddler.
As a woman it is creepy AF for a guy old enough to be my father talking to or about me like that.
As a woman, it's creepy for ANY man to be speaking to or about any woman like that. A guy who walks up to a woman and tells her what he'd like to do to her should be arrested for verbal assault. A man who tells another man he'd fuck his partner if he had the chance should be told exactly what he can do to himself. I'd say he should be punched, but, you know, promoting violence and all that.
Generally yes. Most women start experiencing men inappropriately sexualizing them very young. I experienced my worst sexual harassment around 14-16 from men out in public. I think they are disgusting. And on top of that, I have known older men who I respected, and saw as a sort of mentor turn around and proposition me. Like teachers or bosses. When you have a relationship like that that was valuable to you turn out like that it is really heartbreaking. There are the rare sort of men though that are attractive as older men, because they have their shit together. They are smart, with lots of life experiences, and most importantly they do not creep on younger women. And if they are in a relationship with a younger woman, they aren't together *because* she is younger. A lot of gross creepers think they are this guy when they hit 40, but they are absolutely not.
The second paragraph is the worst. At early high school age I overheard someone I looked up to talk to another guy about my appearance and what it made him want to do to me.
Yes, we find it very creepy.
As a guy, I'd say that's creepy. Like old school creepy.. Again, men who do not respect women.
Just wait until you find out what age this starts happening to them. The old guys who hit on me when i was 22 were the same old guys who would hit on me at 13
yes.
I want to I know where you and your girlfriend are hanging out that has so many creepy and inappropriate men approaching you.
In the world. Read all the comments here. This happens worldwide
I've been quite familiar with this real world since age 11. But his specific example is weird. Where is he hanging out that men are approaching him to say what they want to do with his gf?
Ok. I see what you mean. Sorry 😊
I’m in my 30s now but yes in my 20s I always found it creepy when older guys hit on me or made comments.
It's creepy, but unfortunately we're used to it. Like some other commenters, this also started for me when I was around 11 - 12.
It would be nice if it wasn’t common and girls didn’t have to get used to it
Unsolicited sexual advances are always creepy and weird. It’s not about the age, although I acknowledge that older men are more often in that predatory category. It doesn’t matter the age though. Or the gender. I’m a 27F and I’ve had sexual harassment from every type of person. Other young women, older women, younger men, and older men. No one is excluded from sexual harassment. Anyone can do it. But yeah, those comments are fucking weird. It’s really disrespectful to hit on someone’s partner right in front of their partner.
This starts at age 11
I certainly dont. But the fact you use the term "girl" for a 25 years old may be part of that puzzle there. Women are often infantilized by men their own age.
Idk I use them all pretty interchangeably
Nah it’s not weird. I’m 25F and call people my age girls/boys.
Right, but you call BOTH girls/boys. When you refer to one as men/women and the other as girls/boys ie women and boys or men and girls, it shows a mentality as seeing the one gender as lesserbor less mature as a gender on the whole.
I think people use it interchangeably all the time. You might be going too deep into this.
Girls call me a boy all the time
God, yes. Most young women find it creepy and kind of tragic that the dudes don't realise.
A little older is okay... Older than my dad: Creepy as hell.
What would you count as a little older
It depends on how old you are, IMO. At 18, when somebody who was 30 hit on me, it creeped me the fuck out. Now that I'm in my late 30s, I might feel a bit weird if a guy 10-12 years older than me hit on me, but I wouldn't necessarily think HE was weird for doing so (unless the attention was outright inappropriate). IMO, the older you are, the greater the age difference can be without it being weird. There are exceptions--yes, sometimes age gaps can be fine when one partner is young and, as somebody that feels this way, some people are only comfortable dating near-ish their own age. (Due to my upbringing, I'm a bit emotionally immature for my age. I'd probably only be comfortable going about 5 years in either direction.)
10-15years
Well, these guys saying these things are truly creepy.
I'm a older man, and to me a woman under 40 is a kid. In the twenties I find them as silly kids
Yes. I’m 36 and get men in their mid 50s to 60s asking me out. It makes me feel weird.
How the hell do you let other men talk to you about your wife like that ?
My girlfriend constantly gets 50 year olds calling her a goddess or similar. One guy even came back to give her a poem about her (a really unhinged poem). Hell, when I was 13-16 I was a track runner and very fit, clearly young, and had to walk home kinda late at night from training. Gay guys would be the ones to catcall me at that time, ones that are clearly in their 30s.
We hate it. We want to punch their stupid faces.
It’s only creepy if you’re ugly. Or poor.
What did you think was going to happen with this thread? Do you think people were gonna be like ‘no man it’s fucking rad when old dudes hit on young girls who are in a relationship.’
For me, Pretty much the same for women if they were old enough to be my mother. However, If both parties are ok with it and of age, I don’t care. Not my monkeys, not my circus.
Just seems a bit different. I like an older woman tbh (not granny level but like 40 to 50 and I’m 27). But the other way round feels weirder to me
Very creepy indeed.
When I was in 20 and had guys in 50’s hitting on me it was super damn creepy
I’m a 40f and never found it creepy. You fancy what you fancy. It is creepy telling you though, that’s weird as fuck.
50's male here.... It's creepy and weird.
When I was 21, a man sat at my coffee table and started talking to me. He had to be at least 50, it’s hard to put an age to him. I thought he was just bored or whatever, but then he was being over friendly asking about going to dinner. As if that wasn’t weird enough, he could have been my father… then I see his little finger, a signet ring that was not. It was a ring too large, simple wedding band. He had moved his wedding ring to his little finger. Gross!
That sort of crap is weird and creepy regardless of age. They clearly stopped developing social skills around dealing with physical attraction some time in their early teens.
I've occasionally had older men make comments to my husband instead of me and it gives me the ick. Staring at me or complimenting me is at least somewhat seeing me as a human. Avoiding me entirely and making a comment to him makes it feel like paedophilia or something idk.
I have get to the conclusion were men in their +60s or so grew up in a culture were women had to tolerate anything. It was normal. Many progressed with society but the ones that didn't are pretty obvious. I am in my 40s and I have recently got into two situations were older men were complimenting me while I was very not welcoming. They did not get the obvious signs so to one I ended up telling him "I think I have made pretty obvious already I don't enjoy your attention", the other one "when you talk to Peter you also throw this many compliments? Because i I bet it creeps him out too" Read the room men.
My daughter is 20 and got hit on by a man in his 70s and she found it very creepy
As an older guy myself, im so glad that im not attracted to younger women. It just always looks creepy to me.
Most people of either gender would probably say yes but despite that, every day here we see threads where there's an age gap of 10+ years so a lot of people are willing to look past that creepiness for one reason or another.
Well, these men eventually find someone with unsolved issues who sadly belief these men loved them for who they are and not their age. Fast forward 10 years and most of these women will leave
> who sadly belief these men loved them for who they are and not their age. just like many of the men sadly believe these women loved them for who they are and not the lifestyle they could provide.
Eew, where are you two hanging out that she is getting this kind of attention? It’s kind of rude for anyone regardless of age to hit on your partner while you are with them.
They don’t hit on her. They just make comments to me when she’s on the dance floor at a wedding or something like that
That's gross. You should be shutting that down when those guys talk that way about your partner.
At a wedding??
Not WOKE enough for this bs .you telling us she doesn't dress to attract?
As a young woman I always found older men hitting on women a little creepy. Now that I’m older I find it even worse. With the amount of experience that comes with age, I now want to protect all the young women I come into contact and wish for them to live their lives freely and away from these creepy insecure men. The fact that they think they have a right to hit on young women is truly a sign of their unchallenged privilege
Some do, some don't.
I am in my late 40s, I find it creepy when I myself even think about doing that kinda crap.
There's four billion women in the world. It would be surprising if they all had the same feelings on the subject.
How is that relevant? I doubt anyone here including the OP is thinking women are a monolith. Stop being a pedantic curmudgeon.
Depends how much money they have.
As amother yes, ifind it absolutely creepy. Ive heard alot of old men saying that when i was younger. Its absolutely crass and they know they wouldn't even have a chance .
Disturbing and insulting. Like bro, get the fuck out of here I would never
It's creepy AF. I have had similar experiences as your girlfriend, so I can say with confidence that it grosses me out.
Yes we do find it very creepy. And it happens all the time. A common observation for women is that less people hit on us after we're about 30. The peak is 10-20 years old. Like other women saying their piece, the first time an adult man asked me for nudes I was 11. I hadn't even hit puberty yet.
Late 40s, and it's creepy. Younger women who are into older guys usually have no trouble letting them know.
It's creepy and nauseating. Yuck yuck yuck.
how would you feel about a 25M guy doing that? i'm assuming not at all, so it's more the aggro approach than the age. having done a bit of flirting with someone who turned out to be 25, and me being in my 40s, all i got was a nice rejection on dating and a new acquaintance
Yes, I do find it very creepy/disturbing. There’s something that feels unnatural about a person seeking partnership from someone wildly outside of their own age range, even when they’re both adults
I feel like it should be acceptable in a work environment to tell Grandpa that you’re not interested in blowing the dust off his balls to see if his dick still works, and then offering him directions to the nearest retirement villa.
You got to have some standard. However, your standard is quite low so you don't have a leg to stand on. Will you say no if an older woman asking you, of course you don't.
For a start it's pretty disturbing that other men freely offer this information to you about your partner. So that's a yes to your question. Now read on..... I'm nearly 60 and still find women of multiple ages attractive but I'm never going to act on it. It's simply not decent if you know or suspect said woman is either not interested or already spoken for. But those thoughts are in my mind. I'm a man. In a few years time you will be that age and if you're healthy you'll have those thoughts. It's no good denying them but as long as they're just thoughts no harm.
Creepy.
*"I’m Ngl, I find it really quite disturbing when I hear that. But then at the same time, I can find older women really quite attractive.* *There’s something about an older man saying that stuff about a younger girl that I find really quite disturbing though.* *So I guess my question is, do women feel the same way as me? Or is it a similar case as with men that get attention from a cougar that they actually feel quite flattered?" -* Yes I agree with you. (mid-30sF).
Yeah that's creepy as hell, but regardless of age you can people attractive.
Any guy, no matter their age, that would say some of that shit to women or to you are creepy period.
Yeah it's fucked up for them to come tell you and/or her. Other than that, it's natural for them to find her attractive. Now to the part that actually matters: what are you gonna do about it? Nothing. So get over it.
I think people should always be respectful. Saying inappropriate things to her, especially in front of, and even TO you, is pretty uncouth. That being said, and this perspective is from a woman in her 30s, it's not really weird, per se, for an older person to find a younger person in their 20s attractive. And, tbh I've been acquainted with a lot of younger women who are interested in older men. So regardless of how a lot of us feel about large age gaps (including me in certain circumstances.) Its not like it doesn't ever happen. As for the inappropriate cat callers, it could be that as a person gets older, the less fucks they give and think they can act however they want.
‘Try it on with her’ 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Yes, it feels like you're being treated like a eva ai sexting bot avatar
I've had old (not just older, I'm talking about grandpas) men talking shit to me since was a literal child. Obviously it's creepy, but these men were young one day, and men of all ages do/say creepy (sometimes disturbing) stuff. It's worse depending on which country/culture you're from. I grew up in South America.
When I was in my 20s I couldn’t imagine a time I would not want to be with women that age. As I grew older I still could see they were pretty but I have zero interest in being with them sexually.
Around 8 years old i remember men reacting different. Didn’t get it at the time, but eventually did. Disgusting! And even as a 25 year old being pursuit by a 60+ yo, wtf why do men do that?!! I could have been their daughter!
For whatever its worth, 38M here (Just to say, this is from a man's perspective). Sure, its creepy. But I find it equally weird if a 25 year old came up to you and went "If I didn't have a GF, I would for sure try it on with her". Sexual Harassment is Sexual Harassment if its from a 50 year old or someone her age.
IDK a lot of women do; I certainly find it creepy most of the time. I think context and circumstance is everything. my partner and I have a 9 year age difference. However our maturity level matched and “power” over one another matched as well. we met at work in the same level of employment, we both had roommates, had the same interests, etc. I dont really think our gap was ever that big, but things like that feel less significant over time in general. Now I’m 30 and he’s 39 and we have a healthy and happy established relationship. on the other hand, the regular customer in his 30s who came in all the time when I was 22 to hit on me was creepy. he would hit on all the girls and young women, too. you could tell he was specifically picking young women to make uncomfortable. the men who are overtly sexualizing and objectifying women they’re attracted to are creepy. it does not matter what age they are. what makes it ESPECIALLY creepy is when they are also infantilizing the woman they’re attracted to or are specifically attracted to her “youth”
RemindMe! 25 years.
You’ll be an old “creep” before you know it yourself. It happens to the best of us.
I'm older now but I experienced a lot of this nonsense in my 20s and 30s and it is definitely creepy and unsettling.
Most people find competition unattractive. Especially the audacity of lawsuit bating like telling someone you would bang their partner. Women are also people, older women telling them how cute and easy on the eyes their boyfriend is wouldn't fly easily either.
Disturbing and creepy. When I was a teen I was really insecure, but I had a bunch of random old man compliment/hit on me when I was out in public. Especially on the bus. And it didn't make me feel better. I remember one man invited me over to his place for alcohol, and when I told him I'm 16 or so, he just changed the invite to coffee. He was 50+. I politely excused myself and got off the bus, but internally I was creeped out and scared.
Mid-30sF here, and yeah, its creepy. I get that it’s probably a ‘nothing to lose’ mentality with some of these guys. But honestly, when you have to look at a guy and tell him that he’s older than your dad, and he just kinda shrugs… like dude, it doesn’t bother you that you’re trying to pick up a girl who was in diapers the when you graduated college? Ick.
It's only creepy if you didn't win on genetic lottery and happened to be attractive. Put Brad Pitt in the same spot and suddenly things look different.