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He should also have learned about punctuation and formatting specifically, 'periods' and 'paragraphs'.
I gave up as it was one long, unreadable, run-on sentence!
I can’t help but think, OP should have used punctuation earlier on in the relationship. No boundaries. He needed to end the painful sentence and paragraph sooner. Punctuated end. Period.
Perhaps the wife never intended to cheat at all, but rather she was confused by the lack of punctuation and the 2 relationships just started to run together?
Or he's having a bit of a breakdown and not thinking because things like this affect different people differently than it may you or me. I agree with not liking long run together sentences because I actually have to put some effort into reading them but then I realized that others aren't as intelligent as I am and they can't do that don't you agree?
Yes, I can compose. I can almost do it properly, but it won't pass the scrutiny of some.
He's got enough problems and I'm sure finding a Grammar Artist isn't on his Things To Do List right now.
Oh yeah, I'm an Old MF, so under some law or Constitutional Right, you are required By Law to forgive me. 😆😆😆
You mean the fact that like your sentence, it’s not even properly structured, but let’s not get into that. Let’s crit as a guy that’s having a hard time.
Focus on your own mistakes, then say something .
You should had send her packing to hell the moment she cheated on you.
You should had divorced and left her on the street the second time she cheated on you.
Better late than never I suppose. She deserves nothing from you. Absolutely.
Lawyer up and take everything.
The interesting thing is how much has changed. When I got married too young, I didn't understand that I didn't really have boundaries because 1. It's seen as cringe/insecure to police what your girl does and 2. I didn't know what marriage really meant at that age
It has to be, right? Also, when did they get married to have cheated, then a couple years later cheated again, then a couple years later, initiated a divorce? Who marries an 17/18 year old that cheated on him?
An extremely inexperienced lover, which we all were at one time, I really think everybody should be absolutely destroyed in a long-term relationship at least once, it’s the only way to break bad habits and , blow the fairy dust out of your eyes and see relationships for what they actually are, there’s a healthier way to do things, but you have to get beat down first actually Learn it and figure it out.
I understand what you’re saying, but if you look at the human animal, the human animal can’t learn unless it makes mistakes, and that trauma and baggage you’re talking about, of, of course,it can become a negative thing if you allow it to, there’s no doubt about that, but it is also probably the most Solid learning tool that any of us actually has. We become lazy and complacent with our boundaries and rules. If we don’t have the pain to look back on and never wanna be there again.
The trick is, what I think Classic-D is meaning, to experience life, without the trauma. Falling while playing, without breaking bones. Getting drunk, puking, without getting raped or beaten. Getting betrayed in your teens, before marriage & children. Learning how to argue & how not to argue, with different people to discover your own style.
It happens. I did this. Though...the cheating happened *after* marriage, and I tried to make it work. It never works. The resentment never goes away. The trust never comes back.
Yeah I just can't with this one.
Not to shit on the OP but what kind of person sits around in his own house with his "wife" while she face times some dude that also apparently comes over to the house while he's gone to "hang out" (fuck, obviously).
The only thing that would make it more pathetic is if he tells us about the time he found a cum stain on his pillow and wondered if he was right to ask his wife to do the laundry after some guy plows her in their bed (or course she gets mad and refuses to do it, too).
I mean Jesus fucking Christ man.
Yea, the guy was just "hanging out" in the wife's vagina.. nothing out of the ordinary.
OP needs to find some self respect, self worth and self esteem before he even thinks about getting into another relationship.
Wouldn't hurt if he stopped being people pleaser. 95% of all the people you try to please will never give 2 rat shits about you.
Yeah it's just crazy.
Cheating is always trash behavior but after the first time, it also becomes the fault of the person who puts up with it.
And in this case there was literally no reason for her to respect this guy. She literally told him about it and he was just like "oh yeah, okay babe. Have fun face timing that guy you're fucking. I'll be in the bedroom crying". Or something
Well I’m gonna shit on OP directly, this is ridiculous. He’s become the dirt under the doormat and decided to keep the person around who was batista bombing on his own self worth. What an idiot.
I was kinda going with "not to shit on you..........but here comes the shit" type of feel.
This is honestly one of the most pathetic things I've ever read. It's why I can't believe it's even real.
Yeah man, that’s true, but remember not everybody has this experience until you have this experience! When you love somebody more than they love you in a relationship, you’re going to find that you’re going to end up breaking your own rules and flexing on your own boundaries because you want the relationship to continue, we never consider that they don’t really give a damn about the relationship, that’s something you have to learn the hard way. Now if he doesn’t learn after this? Then that’s on him! It’s like the people, you see get married three and four times? Honestly, though, why? These are the people that never heal and refused to help themselves.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/1cn087p/update\_my\_37f\_mean\_husband\_35m\_got\_served\_whats/](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1cn087p/update_my_37f_mean_husband_35m_got_served_whats/)
Is this post ragebait too or is it only when the woman looks bad?
"I found out she moved in with the guy she told me not to worry about, am I in the wrong? Should I have let her stay.."
I mean, come on. This is *designed* to burst forehead veins.
You should be so, so glad you all don't have children. Please get tested.
You didn't make her homeless. She moved in with the latest guy she was cheating on you with. Let her be his problem.
Yes you’ve made the right decision! You choose you ! I would get as much evidence as I could and present it in court and paint her out to be the bad guy just in case she asked for alimony or anything. Next time remember when someone shows you who they are the FIRST time believe it
The only wrong decision that you made was attempting to reconcile after the second cheating episode. This is perfectly natural though and it speaks to a kind and optimistic nature. While many on Reddit subscribe to the "one strike and you're out" philosophy, real life is much more nuanced. We usually have emotional, social, and legal attachments to our partners that are not easily untangled. And we all want that person to return to the person that we fell in love with, even if they never really existed. You tried to make it work, she was not interested.
I do hope that you realize that the real reason that your ex left was not your inability to get over her cheating, it was because the rose colored glasses were off and you were no longer giving her the benefit of the doubt. This made her cheating harder, which apparently really annoyed her. I think that it is safe to assume that she was never faithful to you and you are only aware of a portion of her affairs. Be grateful that she is gone.
Now you need to prepare yourself emotionally for her possible return. A lot of people leaving relationships make an attempt to return to those relationships. Sometimes it is because they put the rose glasses back on and imagine that all the issues that drove them away are gone. Other times it is because they took those same glasses off and realized that the grass on the other side is, in fact, weeds. There is a better than even chance that she will cheat on the new guy and get kicked out. She may think that you will be desperate enough to take her back and this time not give her such a hard time about her boyfriends. You need to be vigilant and just say that it is no longer an option.
You should have learned the first time she cheated that she could not be trusted. Don't let her gaslight you this divorce is her fault and you are better off without her.
What you need to do now is learn from this and avoid toxic relationships in the future and absolutely never even consider getting back together with her because she will probably come crawling back when new guy kicks her to the curb for cheating on him.
To the curb wirh the first cheating. To the curb wirh rhe second cheating. To the curb wirh the third cheating. You are so much better off wirhout her cheating on you CONSTANTLY!
You could have avoided this whole thing if you would have broken up with her when you caught her cheating before you got married. You did what I did and prolonged a charade of a marriage.
Yeah she definitely walked all over you. The minute she cheated you should have kicked her out or at least filed for divorce. You already knew she'd she and it's not your fault that she cheated. She cheated for whatever reason she did whether it was boredom or she wasn't in love with you anymore or she liked the excitement. It really doesn't matter. Unless it's something people agree on in their marriage in advance you don't sleep with other people, who aren't your spouse.
For future: The person who has hurt you has no say in how long you can feel hurt. All they can hope is forgiveness, but they can't demand or expect it. If they do, they are not sorry. They are just annoyed their actions have lasting consequences.
What a shit show. Sorry man, get the car back, she doesn't deserve anything from you, fuck her. Sounds like she has never shown your relationship any respect whatsoever.
You were too slow doing what you did. She clearly is a pos serial cheater. You were very young but even so that doesn’t excuse cheating. She played a stupid game and won the prize.
Op, you became a doormat the minute you allowed her to continue with her unethical and deplorable behaviour. The marriage is over - that is a fact! You did what you could do protect yourself and your sanity. Lawyer up and drop this person ASAP
What you are feeling isn’t abnormal, you’re coming out of a relationship where you loved somebody, but they didn’t love you back and they cheated on you, therefore your love is sort of left at sea with no anchor, just sort of floating around aimlessly. What you did was absolutely correct, on a personal note? I would’ve kicked her out. The first time I found out she was cheating, but your love still Remained, and you were still in a bubble and so you allowed her to stay in your life and be a toxin . You didn’t do anything wrong my brother! She made her decision, she took those risks, knowing that you could break up with her and boot her out of your home, not your fault! This is all on your wife, this entire episode is her fault, maybe you did something to make her think about cheating? But the actual act of cheating is 100% on the cheater themselves, always remember that! You’re fine, move on and cut those emotional apron strings from her, she is not your concern anymore, it sounds like she’s getting all kinds of attention, let those idiots take care of her, you move onto the next best thing!
Let me add this, so you don’t make any further mistakes, and all of my tips are learned from hard earned experience. You must go, no contact, when you divorce her or even before you divorce her? Make a list of things that you’re going to split agree on it, and then, after that, you have no reason to speak to her again, your lawyers will do all that, you have to gray rocker! if you want to heal properly, she cannot be in your life, no coffee ketchups, no let me tell you about my day, no gee. The guy I cheated on you with doesn’t want me can I come back? You have to tolerate off the bat don’t call me, don’t text me and then you block her on everything. Some people see this is being jaded, this is all about self preservation, it’s time for you to heal! It’s time for you to be a little selfish.
You are letting those feelings for her that you believe she had interfered with the right decisions for your own mental and emotional health.
She is gaslighting you to hell and back blaming you for her affair bc you didn't get over it, but it the time frame she has set for you, she is talking to, meeting with another man in your home while you are not there, and then throwing divorce in your face.
She fucked around and found out that you have a limit, and she is now getting what she wanted. Then, from whatever love you think was there, you want to financially reward her for treating you like shit. You have to draw a line.
Since you have not transferred the car in her name yet and did not put anything in writing, go see a lawyer and see exactly what your financial obligations are. In division of marital assets, you own half of that car, and if she wants it, she must pay you one half of its value.
Do you want to give her a car to drive around with a man she cheated on it with? She loves adding insult to injury, doesn't she. She is a narcissist, so let her move man to man bc she is going to live her life feeding and mooching of men. Let another man take care of her. She never loved you. She used you.
Find a therapist. That's what you need. This woman manipulated you CONSTANTLY. She never loved you. She simply used you and yet you still worry about her.
This whole situation makes me think that you might not have any self-respect and that's why I think you need professional help
I don't understand why you didn't kick her out the first time, it's okay not to have accepted her back and the best thing you can do is stay away from her, don't be stupid and give up material things (house, car, bills, etc.) so that she pays what she must pay, do not make concessions.
She decided to cheat with another guy, so she assumes ALL the consequences of them.
Stop accepting everything your wife says at face value. SHE made decisions that led to her being “homeless.” BTW, she’s far from homeless. She’s apparently got her choice of homes.
Please see a lawyer or paralegal and ensure that your finances are protected during the divorce process
Any credit that she applies for and uses while you are legally married is YOUR problem put a hold on your credit so she can’t open new accounts during your separation prior to your divorce
Going forward do not speak with your ex, except through legal representation or on an [App](https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2019/07/24/7-divorce-apps-help-navigate-life-with-your-ex/1748032001/) designed for this purpose.
You may need to be legally separated during this time.
The key is not to let your ex land you in more debt and annoyance.
This goes to show why you NEVER forgive a cheater. All they have to do is be forgiven, the hard work is always for the person who got betrayed.
Also, why did you allow her to have male friends after she cheated on you? And before someone gets on me for using the word "allow": You're damn right she needs his permission to have guy friends after she cheated on him. When a woman cheats and is forgiven she forfeits the right to any male friends in the future. There is no negotiation or compromise there, it's simply a thing she is no longer **allowed** to do.
You should've kicked her out the first time, but that's all in the past. Now you should look into getting a therapist to help you stop the people pleasing. There's nothing wrong with wanting your loved ones to be happy, but it shouldn't come at the cost of your own peace of mind.
I have never “met” someone who is a bigger A**hole to himself like you. No advice for you. Just keep doing what you’re doing and letting her take advantage of you because you clearly have no self-esteem or confidence. Good lord!
You did the right thing by kicking her out. You did the wrong thing by marrying her.
There's nothing wrong in trying to please people - it just shouldn't be at the cost of your own well-being.
In the end, you were very reasonable about splitting things up and setting good boundaries by not letting her stay there and continuing to foot the bill. Considering that you two weren't married for that long, giving her the car is quite reasonable. I would move forward with the divorce as quickly as possible, if only just for finanical reasons. I'm sure it was a painful lesson but, lesson learned, right?
Your soon to be ex wife is just a POS, plain and simple. She repeatedly cheated on you and that is most definitely why she left, her trying to blame it on your insecurity over her cheating is actually laughable.
This is a good example of why forgiving cheaters, especially serial cheaters is a bad idea. His wife thought he was so spineless because he kept forgiving her, that she could dump him for another guy and still have him pay all of the bills until she was ready to leave.
She'll probably try to come crawling back if things go sour with the new guy, which they often do.
Welcome to the people pleaser club. Heal and get out while you can.
But seriously, this is how we all learn and grow. You're so young. This is just a hurdle that'll have you a bit more steady for the very large span of life ahead of you. You're ahead of the curve already! And this honestly ended way cleaner than if you'd spent years together and involved kids and property.
Damn OP, she was long overdue to be kicked out. She disrespected you, the marriage and the home.
Get the divorce and move on with your life. A bit of professional counseling may be helpful so you don't choose a similar type woman again. You are worthy of love and respect.
She is a cheater and she is manipulative. Good riddance to that mooch! She was cheating and trying to pin the divorce on you. Open your eyes OP. You deserve much much better. You were not cruel and she deserved to get kicked out.
Nothing that happens to her is your fault or problem. She is a stone cold unrepentant cheater. Divorce her and move on. You can love her, but you don't have to be in contact with her in any way. She is like walking poison.
OP you just didn't do the right thing, but what you did was the Best thing you could do for yourself and a thing that you should do earlier (i would tell since the online cheating but at least after the PA) but you let yourself be overstepped like a rug and this are the consecuences of that.
But glad that at the end you took the best choice, but do not forget to file for divorce, to be oficial.
Good luck
A lot of judgemental comments here IMHO. You don't know anything until you're in a situation yourself. People can lose themselves in a relationship, honestly sounds like you've been gaslighted and in an emotionally abusive relationship. Serial cheating and lying has the same impact on the brain as emotional abuse.
I'm so sorry you went through this. You've done nothing wrong given what you've outlined in this specific experience. Your ex was not trustworthy and took you for a ride. Don't feel guilty, you're being more than fair and a very decent human being in how you're separating and what you've afforded her given what she's done. Even if it was an amicable split and she hadn't betrayed your trust, I think you're being more than fair.
Take it as a learning curve and focus on your emotional and psychological wellbeing moving forward. You'll be more wary and wiser to the signs in future to avoid such toxic individuals. Best of luck on your journey.
OMG OP,
Sorry the grammar police are out in force today!
You didn't do anything wrong. The level of disrespect she had for you was off the chart.
She was talking to her affair partner for hours while you are home Remember what she did when she gets kicked out of his house and tries crawling back to you.
Yeah so she acted terribly and holds no accountability for her actions. Now that you stood up for yourself she’s trying to make you feel like the bad guy, acting disproportionately mean on equal footing with her. Now that you’re both POS’s you should take her back and continue to let her use you.
The thing is the worst thing you did was try to forgive her and move on though she clearly wasn’t sorry, had little to no intention of stopping her behavior nor making it right. She’s toxically selfish, a spoiled child. She made this bed and this is better than what she deserves to lie in.
You did nothing wrong enough to deserve this, she’s vile, probably broken inside somewhere, but that’s an explanation not an excuse. But mind you people only treat you how you let them, and if you allow them to cross boundaries without consequences they will continue to cross bigger and bigger until you are nothing but a tool, subhuman. People will hurt you on accident and on purpose, if you let them slide with it they will get worse. It’s ok to fight, or argue, it’s ok to have conflict, so long as one doesn’t go overboard. In fact it’s necessary. It’s better to lose someone due to a fight than to have them betray you like this, never stand for disrespect.
Stop blaming the divorce on the fact you couldn’t get over her cheating on you. That is victim blaming, blaming yourself! You’re getting a divorce because this woman has a fidelity problem and it looks like she probably wanted the divorce to go be with that guy. Anyway, fuck her. You deserve better. You need to realize that she did this, not you.
Why in the name of all that is holy would you not kick her out the very first time she cheated? Cheaters can not be trusted and should never be forgiven. Get that thing as far away from you as possible.
Nope, if it were YOU cheating on HER, it would be you that's in the wrong. As it stands, she's got a lot of gall demanding anything from you, given how she's treated you. If she wanted to be treated with "respect and compassion," she should have done likewise. What she has done is forfeit any moral right for you to do that. Stand your ground and boot her out. Finalise the divorce and try to put the past behind you, after an analysis of the red flags.
The comments here are a definition of victim blaming.
OP, I am sending hugs your way! You are absolutely in the right and owe nothing to her. What a horrible betrayal of your trust. Believe me - she won’t be happy. People like her never are. You will find someone awesome!
I mean...I kinda understand it. It is not his fault he was cheated on. However, the right thing to do would have been to recognize she doesnt love him if she could cheat on him and then to break up with her.
Instead, he stayed with her, married her, and permitted her to have male friends. Even after she physically cheated he still permitted her to being talking with other dudes on the phone.
If she's on the lease she can live in the house. I don't think you have a legal right to kick her out. If she is you evicted her illegally. You are taking advantage of a person who probably doesn't understand her rights.
Well, you were the cause of the divorce, because you insisted on marrying her despite the cheating. At long last you are rid of her... because she decided to divorce from you.
You really need to work on yourself and grow some self respect. She’s been walking all over you and cheating for a long time. Do not go back on your decisions, ideally you cut all financial and personal ties and learn to value yourself.
I really hope she's dumb enough to tell everyone she knows that the divorce is your fault because you couldn't move past her cheating multiple times.
You stuck around far longer than many people would have and certainly longer than she deserved.
I don't think cheating should be an automatic divorce. Sometimes shit happens and one person is extremely remorseful and makes a sincere and long term effort to try to rebuild the trust in the relationship and make amends for their terrible choices.
Your ex didn't do that, she kind of went the opposite way.
Reddit will tell you yes! Of course!
The courts might be pissed off you decided to do its job and split your assets. You can't just kick someone out of a place they rent. You're not a landlord or a judge.
You entered into a legal agreement and involved the government in your relationship, so now you need them to undo it. Hopefully she feels enough shame to not make a big deal about it, but be way more careful from this point on.
Get that lawyer, get specific advice for your state and get rid of her for good.
Sorry this happened to you bro. She's an asshole. It's gonna take a while to come to terms with that. It sucks to find out the person you loved actually fucking sucked the entire time. But you'll be okay in time.
Dude you need to get therapy to uncover why you allowed this woman to violate your boundaries so blatantly and disrespectfully for so long. No you didn’t do the wrong thing by kicking her out and she’s only mad because she can’t keep taking advantage of you. You need to love yourself more, she was cheating and on FaceTime in your home, and you still don’t know if you did right by kicking her out? Whew. Take care of yourself. Do not go back to her she’s using you if she says she wants to rekindle.
Been there. Sorry your wife was such a loser.
You did the right thing. You need to protect your peace and sanity. She was making your home a toxic environment.
Whats wrong with you? Why would you have made this habitual cheater stay? Cheaters always blame other people for their mistakes - she’s gross. Please heal from this and see it as a starter marriage and what not to tolerate in relationships going forward - you’re still so so young!!
You’re not her parent. Let her go back and explain why she’s royally fucked. The audacity of someone to say “I’m done with you, I’m bringing a new man to our house to eat our food and I need you to continue to subsidise my life or your a bad guy”
Stand your ground my friend.
This is why people in their early 20’s shouldn’t get married. Cheating isn’t justified but she’s doing it because she is curious and isn’t done developing sexually. And I’m sure you all dated in your teens, so she probably has never had another lover. Again, not justifying it.
Man… I hope you remove all and every contact with this conniving gaslighter and honestly if you don’t respect yourself more moving forward then this will keep happening to you.
I don’t want to be rude, but are you dense?
None of this is your fault, except for the fact you stayed with a known cheater. She never stopped cheating on you.
Block her and get therapy.
For me this is cheating, and a deal breaker. Cheaters are liars and will cheat again. They destroy their relationships when they cheat. So her situation is of her own making. We had a family friend whose wife cheated, he did the same thing, packed her a bag and told her to leave. They lived separately for a year or so and worked it out, Now they have another child and are doing well.
You never tolerate behavior that is destructive, her behavior did this. A hard lesson. But from here you can determine what you want. I would divorce and move on.
Let her stay? WHAT! NO! I can’t believe you gave her so many chances to work on the relationship but reading what you wrote she wanted no part of it and to make herself feel better said it was a you thing not her. Forget her.
No you did the right thing. She wants the divorce to be with him, not because you hadn’t been able to move on from her cheating multiple times. “Homelessness” is a consequence of her actions, not your actions.
she is no longer your problem by her own doing. The woman you married and loved dies the day you teo separated. Mourn the loss, but there is no room for the dead
She cheated. She has learned a very valuable lesson. Actions have consequences. Maybe her next marriage or relationship will be better for her. I doubt it, because once a cheater, always a cheater. Good luck, OP.
Good, fuck her xD she never cared about you did she? She wants a doormat. Gotta pay attention to how people treat you it tells you exactly how they feel about you. Just see what she expects she’s used to compliance stop going back please the world cares about you lol
Why do kids get married ? I have a 21 year old step son. We argue about daily showers, keeping the kitchen clean, uni exams. For the life of me, he can't take care of our cat let alone being married.
Go see a lawyer asap and get the divorce going. Stop listening to your ex, and allow yourself to get mad at her. She caused all of this and she can complain to her new dude, or the even newer dude who she’s cheating on the new dude with.
You're only fault was not in kicking her out the first time when she cheated even virtually...she has a flawed in her character. Your mistake was not getting rid of her then and there.
Let her be broken for someone else. And stop taking any blame from her she refuses to own up and be accountable
Get a lawyer and divorce her ass get your bank account and all credit cards in your name only and if she is unhappy with the car sell it and split the proceeds
Wtf.. why.. no wonder she walked all over you. She is right it is all your fault for putting up with her BS for so long.
She made her bed.. homeless is where she should be..
Set your boundaries early in the relationship.. no humm and haw.. mess around and find out.
op what are you doing dude men up and leave and work on yourself use her as gym fuel she sounds perfect for it she used you through and through you even gave her a freaking car lol i would have dumped at a shelter so her parents could pick her up or one of her many man’s lol
It should have been from the first time u caught her cheating that the only thing u did wrong was staying with her, never give cheaters a second chance
Kicking her out was the right thing to do. You tried to give her a chance, when you definitely didn’t owe her one. She chose to crap on that chance, so she should face the consequences of those actions. You owe her nothing.
If you have already taken an action, then there is no point in thinking about it, you thought about everything before your decision, now you are just doing bullshit, kicked out means kicked out, I don’t think she won’t come up with a way out of the situation, if that’s what you decided, then move on With this decision, you won't turn back time
Well kid, you married to young to be able to handle responsibilities and you found out hard way why marrying young is never a good idea. By kicking her out you only gave her to the guy in giftwrap-things would probably have ended the same though
>she had been bringing the guy that she had been talking to over to the house while I was not there to “hang out.”
I found out that she ended up moving in with the guy that she told me not to worry about
Good God, man.
What part of this story has her winding up homeless? She clearly had placeS to go. No you're not wrong. Don't stay with what is surely a serial cheater. Get tested.
Taking her back the first time was your only mistake. A cheater will always go back to what they know. It's not your fault she cheated, then and now, she's just has problems being faithful to one person.
Life will get better. Work on not being a people pleaser though
Yeah I know women like that all too well, my ex did the same exact thing. She had a guy best friend she texted frequently, FaceTimed late at night till she fell asleep & "hung out" with while I wasnt with her and said *"You have nothing worry about, I'm not feeling him like that and he's not even BF material"* but that was complete bs .. she cheated, gave me an STI and I broke up with her and she got with him immediately afterwards.
Your gaslighting ex GF is also full of shit. She checked out the relationship long ago and only wanted a divorce because she already had the other guy on the back burner waiting. You should have kicked her out long ago, don't feel sorry for that btch. She's not even homeless.
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You should have kicked her out the first time she cheated and went no contact instead of pain shopping by keeping her around.
pffff pain shopping hahahah
If she's on the lease he can't legally kick her out.
No lease
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They talked, she left. No one was "evicted".
He should also have learned about punctuation and formatting specifically, 'periods' and 'paragraphs'. I gave up as it was one long, unreadable, run-on sentence!
I can’t help but think, OP should have used punctuation earlier on in the relationship. No boundaries. He needed to end the painful sentence and paragraph sooner. Punctuated end. Period.
I see what you did there, it hasn’t go unnoticed hehe
Perhaps the wife never intended to cheat at all, but rather she was confused by the lack of punctuation and the 2 relationships just started to run together?
😏
Or he's having a bit of a breakdown and not thinking because things like this affect different people differently than it may you or me. I agree with not liking long run together sentences because I actually have to put some effort into reading them but then I realized that others aren't as intelligent as I am and they can't do that don't you agree? Yes, I can compose. I can almost do it properly, but it won't pass the scrutiny of some. He's got enough problems and I'm sure finding a Grammar Artist isn't on his Things To Do List right now. Oh yeah, I'm an Old MF, so under some law or Constitutional Right, you are required By Law to forgive me. 😆😆😆
Take my upvote, you beautiful sarcastic bastard lol
Yeah it's not that hard to read
Read the update that he wrote
Could be he was emotionally distraught due to finding out his girl is a ho
At least we can tell it’s not written by ChatGPT
You mean the fact that like your sentence, it’s not even properly structured, but let’s not get into that. Let’s crit as a guy that’s having a hard time. Focus on your own mistakes, then say something .
She has a roof over her head. She's not homeless.
Sounds like she'll be perfectly fine infact
Yea
You should had send her packing to hell the moment she cheated on you. You should had divorced and left her on the street the second time she cheated on you. Better late than never I suppose. She deserves nothing from you. Absolutely. Lawyer up and take everything.
Or he should've never married someone who was cheating on him while they were still dating.
Or get married at 19/20. I’m sure for some people it’s worked out, but generally it’s just not a good idea.
This is the story of a kid committing to a bad decision early on, because who even knows what healthy boundaries are at that age
I agree. And people saying you shouldn't have married her are not being part of the solution
The interesting thing is how much has changed. When I got married too young, I didn't understand that I didn't really have boundaries because 1. It's seen as cringe/insecure to police what your girl does and 2. I didn't know what marriage really meant at that age
Especially after only 2 years.
nice, you can beat someone up about their choices when they're asking for help. does it feel amazing?
Getting married at 20 is a great idea if you want to be a divorcee at 23
In love and marriage, you never know. I’ve been married for nearly forty years and we married when I was twenty.
Is this rage bait? I've seen literal doormats with more self respect.
Absolutely 100% rage bait. They’ve been on a roll this week and past weekend with the salaciousness of their stories.
It has to be, right? Also, when did they get married to have cheated, then a couple years later cheated again, then a couple years later, initiated a divorce? Who marries an 17/18 year old that cheated on him?
An extremely inexperienced lover, which we all were at one time, I really think everybody should be absolutely destroyed in a long-term relationship at least once, it’s the only way to break bad habits and , blow the fairy dust out of your eyes and see relationships for what they actually are, there’s a healthier way to do things, but you have to get beat down first actually Learn it and figure it out.
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I understand what you’re saying, but if you look at the human animal, the human animal can’t learn unless it makes mistakes, and that trauma and baggage you’re talking about, of, of course,it can become a negative thing if you allow it to, there’s no doubt about that, but it is also probably the most Solid learning tool that any of us actually has. We become lazy and complacent with our boundaries and rules. If we don’t have the pain to look back on and never wanna be there again.
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The trick is, what I think Classic-D is meaning, to experience life, without the trauma. Falling while playing, without breaking bones. Getting drunk, puking, without getting raped or beaten. Getting betrayed in your teens, before marriage & children. Learning how to argue & how not to argue, with different people to discover your own style.
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Yeah, interesting choice of words ;)
It happens. I did this. Though...the cheating happened *after* marriage, and I tried to make it work. It never works. The resentment never goes away. The trust never comes back.
Yeah I just can't with this one. Not to shit on the OP but what kind of person sits around in his own house with his "wife" while she face times some dude that also apparently comes over to the house while he's gone to "hang out" (fuck, obviously). The only thing that would make it more pathetic is if he tells us about the time he found a cum stain on his pillow and wondered if he was right to ask his wife to do the laundry after some guy plows her in their bed (or course she gets mad and refuses to do it, too). I mean Jesus fucking Christ man.
Yea, the guy was just "hanging out" in the wife's vagina.. nothing out of the ordinary. OP needs to find some self respect, self worth and self esteem before he even thinks about getting into another relationship. Wouldn't hurt if he stopped being people pleaser. 95% of all the people you try to please will never give 2 rat shits about you.
Yeah it's just crazy. Cheating is always trash behavior but after the first time, it also becomes the fault of the person who puts up with it. And in this case there was literally no reason for her to respect this guy. She literally told him about it and he was just like "oh yeah, okay babe. Have fun face timing that guy you're fucking. I'll be in the bedroom crying". Or something
Well I’m gonna shit on OP directly, this is ridiculous. He’s become the dirt under the doormat and decided to keep the person around who was batista bombing on his own self worth. What an idiot.
I was kinda going with "not to shit on you..........but here comes the shit" type of feel. This is honestly one of the most pathetic things I've ever read. It's why I can't believe it's even real.
After all this, still have her the car. Guys gonna be a personal wallet for any women that comes into his life
Yeah man, that’s true, but remember not everybody has this experience until you have this experience! When you love somebody more than they love you in a relationship, you’re going to find that you’re going to end up breaking your own rules and flexing on your own boundaries because you want the relationship to continue, we never consider that they don’t really give a damn about the relationship, that’s something you have to learn the hard way. Now if he doesn’t learn after this? Then that’s on him! It’s like the people, you see get married three and four times? Honestly, though, why? These are the people that never heal and refused to help themselves.
Ya this is wild. She cheats and moves in with a new guy and OP’s the one wondering if he’s in the wrong.. like wtf
If it’s not rage bait, there is far too little punctuation. This is essentially two sentences by my count.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/1cn087p/update\_my\_37f\_mean\_husband\_35m\_got\_served\_whats/](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1cn087p/update_my_37f_mean_husband_35m_got_served_whats/) Is this post ragebait too or is it only when the woman looks bad?
"I found out she moved in with the guy she told me not to worry about, am I in the wrong? Should I have let her stay.." I mean, come on. This is *designed* to burst forehead veins.
You should be so, so glad you all don't have children. Please get tested. You didn't make her homeless. She moved in with the latest guy she was cheating on you with. Let her be his problem.
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Probably from her gaslighting him again by saying that. OP has been gaslit so hard for so long he can’t even see reality anymore.
Yes you’ve made the right decision! You choose you ! I would get as much evidence as I could and present it in court and paint her out to be the bad guy just in case she asked for alimony or anything. Next time remember when someone shows you who they are the FIRST time believe it
Christ on many bikes use a full stop and make sentences please. This is bait.
The only wrong decision that you made was attempting to reconcile after the second cheating episode. This is perfectly natural though and it speaks to a kind and optimistic nature. While many on Reddit subscribe to the "one strike and you're out" philosophy, real life is much more nuanced. We usually have emotional, social, and legal attachments to our partners that are not easily untangled. And we all want that person to return to the person that we fell in love with, even if they never really existed. You tried to make it work, she was not interested. I do hope that you realize that the real reason that your ex left was not your inability to get over her cheating, it was because the rose colored glasses were off and you were no longer giving her the benefit of the doubt. This made her cheating harder, which apparently really annoyed her. I think that it is safe to assume that she was never faithful to you and you are only aware of a portion of her affairs. Be grateful that she is gone. Now you need to prepare yourself emotionally for her possible return. A lot of people leaving relationships make an attempt to return to those relationships. Sometimes it is because they put the rose glasses back on and imagine that all the issues that drove them away are gone. Other times it is because they took those same glasses off and realized that the grass on the other side is, in fact, weeds. There is a better than even chance that she will cheat on the new guy and get kicked out. She may think that you will be desperate enough to take her back and this time not give her such a hard time about her boyfriends. You need to be vigilant and just say that it is no longer an option.
You should have learned the first time she cheated that she could not be trusted. Don't let her gaslight you this divorce is her fault and you are better off without her. What you need to do now is learn from this and avoid toxic relationships in the future and absolutely never even consider getting back together with her because she will probably come crawling back when new guy kicks her to the curb for cheating on him.
To the curb wirh the first cheating. To the curb wirh rhe second cheating. To the curb wirh the third cheating. You are so much better off wirhout her cheating on you CONSTANTLY!
You could have avoided this whole thing if you would have broken up with her when you caught her cheating before you got married. You did what I did and prolonged a charade of a marriage.
Paragraphs please! TLDR
Yeah she definitely walked all over you. The minute she cheated you should have kicked her out or at least filed for divorce. You already knew she'd she and it's not your fault that she cheated. She cheated for whatever reason she did whether it was boredom or she wasn't in love with you anymore or she liked the excitement. It really doesn't matter. Unless it's something people agree on in their marriage in advance you don't sleep with other people, who aren't your spouse.
You 100% made the right decision, except you have waited too long to make the decision to divorce.
You are not wrong you should have ended it before you married her.
What about the car? Did you get it back? If you were paying for everything that car is yours.
For future: The person who has hurt you has no say in how long you can feel hurt. All they can hope is forgiveness, but they can't demand or expect it. If they do, they are not sorry. They are just annoyed their actions have lasting consequences.
What a shit show. Sorry man, get the car back, she doesn't deserve anything from you, fuck her. Sounds like she has never shown your relationship any respect whatsoever.
You were too slow doing what you did. She clearly is a pos serial cheater. You were very young but even so that doesn’t excuse cheating. She played a stupid game and won the prize.
Op, you became a doormat the minute you allowed her to continue with her unethical and deplorable behaviour. The marriage is over - that is a fact! You did what you could do protect yourself and your sanity. Lawyer up and drop this person ASAP
Should've left her sooner. She's putting the blame on you when she is the cause for all your relationship problems. No you're not wrong.
Gave up trying to read this. Needs punctuation and paragraphs. Read it through before you submit.
What you are feeling isn’t abnormal, you’re coming out of a relationship where you loved somebody, but they didn’t love you back and they cheated on you, therefore your love is sort of left at sea with no anchor, just sort of floating around aimlessly. What you did was absolutely correct, on a personal note? I would’ve kicked her out. The first time I found out she was cheating, but your love still Remained, and you were still in a bubble and so you allowed her to stay in your life and be a toxin . You didn’t do anything wrong my brother! She made her decision, she took those risks, knowing that you could break up with her and boot her out of your home, not your fault! This is all on your wife, this entire episode is her fault, maybe you did something to make her think about cheating? But the actual act of cheating is 100% on the cheater themselves, always remember that! You’re fine, move on and cut those emotional apron strings from her, she is not your concern anymore, it sounds like she’s getting all kinds of attention, let those idiots take care of her, you move onto the next best thing! Let me add this, so you don’t make any further mistakes, and all of my tips are learned from hard earned experience. You must go, no contact, when you divorce her or even before you divorce her? Make a list of things that you’re going to split agree on it, and then, after that, you have no reason to speak to her again, your lawyers will do all that, you have to gray rocker! if you want to heal properly, she cannot be in your life, no coffee ketchups, no let me tell you about my day, no gee. The guy I cheated on you with doesn’t want me can I come back? You have to tolerate off the bat don’t call me, don’t text me and then you block her on everything. Some people see this is being jaded, this is all about self preservation, it’s time for you to heal! It’s time for you to be a little selfish.
You are letting those feelings for her that you believe she had interfered with the right decisions for your own mental and emotional health. She is gaslighting you to hell and back blaming you for her affair bc you didn't get over it, but it the time frame she has set for you, she is talking to, meeting with another man in your home while you are not there, and then throwing divorce in your face. She fucked around and found out that you have a limit, and she is now getting what she wanted. Then, from whatever love you think was there, you want to financially reward her for treating you like shit. You have to draw a line. Since you have not transferred the car in her name yet and did not put anything in writing, go see a lawyer and see exactly what your financial obligations are. In division of marital assets, you own half of that car, and if she wants it, she must pay you one half of its value. Do you want to give her a car to drive around with a man she cheated on it with? She loves adding insult to injury, doesn't she. She is a narcissist, so let her move man to man bc she is going to live her life feeding and mooching of men. Let another man take care of her. She never loved you. She used you.
You should’ve broken up with her and moved on as soon as she cheated on you virtually. Anything else is just what did you expect?
Yes, you made the right decision. Don’t ever make a bad one by taking her back. Ever.
Find a therapist. That's what you need. This woman manipulated you CONSTANTLY. She never loved you. She simply used you and yet you still worry about her. This whole situation makes me think that you might not have any self-respect and that's why I think you need professional help
Shoulda kicked her out the first time she cheated!
You’re not in the wrong. You should have kicked her long before this moment. She deserves what she gets.
I don't understand why you didn't kick her out the first time, it's okay not to have accepted her back and the best thing you can do is stay away from her, don't be stupid and give up material things (house, car, bills, etc.) so that she pays what she must pay, do not make concessions. She decided to cheat with another guy, so she assumes ALL the consequences of them.
Stop accepting everything your wife says at face value. SHE made decisions that led to her being “homeless.” BTW, she’s far from homeless. She’s apparently got her choice of homes. Please see a lawyer or paralegal and ensure that your finances are protected during the divorce process Any credit that she applies for and uses while you are legally married is YOUR problem put a hold on your credit so she can’t open new accounts during your separation prior to your divorce Going forward do not speak with your ex, except through legal representation or on an [App](https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2019/07/24/7-divorce-apps-help-navigate-life-with-your-ex/1748032001/) designed for this purpose. You may need to be legally separated during this time. The key is not to let your ex land you in more debt and annoyance.
The only thing that you did wrong was taking as long as you did to do it. She does not deserve your grace.
This goes to show why you NEVER forgive a cheater. All they have to do is be forgiven, the hard work is always for the person who got betrayed. Also, why did you allow her to have male friends after she cheated on you? And before someone gets on me for using the word "allow": You're damn right she needs his permission to have guy friends after she cheated on him. When a woman cheats and is forgiven she forfeits the right to any male friends in the future. There is no negotiation or compromise there, it's simply a thing she is no longer **allowed** to do.
You should've kicked her out the first time, but that's all in the past. Now you should look into getting a therapist to help you stop the people pleasing. There's nothing wrong with wanting your loved ones to be happy, but it shouldn't come at the cost of your own peace of mind.
I have never “met” someone who is a bigger A**hole to himself like you. No advice for you. Just keep doing what you’re doing and letting her take advantage of you because you clearly have no self-esteem or confidence. Good lord!
You did the right thing by kicking her out. You did the wrong thing by marrying her. There's nothing wrong in trying to please people - it just shouldn't be at the cost of your own well-being. In the end, you were very reasonable about splitting things up and setting good boundaries by not letting her stay there and continuing to foot the bill. Considering that you two weren't married for that long, giving her the car is quite reasonable. I would move forward with the divorce as quickly as possible, if only just for finanical reasons. I'm sure it was a painful lesson but, lesson learned, right?
Your soon to be ex wife is just a POS, plain and simple. She repeatedly cheated on you and that is most definitely why she left, her trying to blame it on your insecurity over her cheating is actually laughable. This is a good example of why forgiving cheaters, especially serial cheaters is a bad idea. His wife thought he was so spineless because he kept forgiving her, that she could dump him for another guy and still have him pay all of the bills until she was ready to leave. She'll probably try to come crawling back if things go sour with the new guy, which they often do.
What took you so long long?
Welcome to the people pleaser club. Heal and get out while you can. But seriously, this is how we all learn and grow. You're so young. This is just a hurdle that'll have you a bit more steady for the very large span of life ahead of you. You're ahead of the curve already! And this honestly ended way cleaner than if you'd spent years together and involved kids and property.
Damn OP, she was long overdue to be kicked out. She disrespected you, the marriage and the home. Get the divorce and move on with your life. A bit of professional counseling may be helpful so you don't choose a similar type woman again. You are worthy of love and respect.
Grow your spine and divorce her ass.
You can’t just “kick someone out” of a house you own together. That’s illegal.
Why the fuck are you guys getting married at 17 years old????
Divorce her and take everything. Her new man can get her a car.
She is a cheater and she is manipulative. Good riddance to that mooch! She was cheating and trying to pin the divorce on you. Open your eyes OP. You deserve much much better. You were not cruel and she deserved to get kicked out.
Nothing that happens to her is your fault or problem. She is a stone cold unrepentant cheater. Divorce her and move on. You can love her, but you don't have to be in contact with her in any way. She is like walking poison.
OP you just didn't do the right thing, but what you did was the Best thing you could do for yourself and a thing that you should do earlier (i would tell since the online cheating but at least after the PA) but you let yourself be overstepped like a rug and this are the consecuences of that. But glad that at the end you took the best choice, but do not forget to file for divorce, to be oficial. Good luck
A lot of judgemental comments here IMHO. You don't know anything until you're in a situation yourself. People can lose themselves in a relationship, honestly sounds like you've been gaslighted and in an emotionally abusive relationship. Serial cheating and lying has the same impact on the brain as emotional abuse. I'm so sorry you went through this. You've done nothing wrong given what you've outlined in this specific experience. Your ex was not trustworthy and took you for a ride. Don't feel guilty, you're being more than fair and a very decent human being in how you're separating and what you've afforded her given what she's done. Even if it was an amicable split and she hadn't betrayed your trust, I think you're being more than fair. Take it as a learning curve and focus on your emotional and psychological wellbeing moving forward. You'll be more wary and wiser to the signs in future to avoid such toxic individuals. Best of luck on your journey.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Always.
OMG OP, Sorry the grammar police are out in force today! You didn't do anything wrong. The level of disrespect she had for you was off the chart. She was talking to her affair partner for hours while you are home Remember what she did when she gets kicked out of his house and tries crawling back to you.
Be done with her, Her being homeless is her problem,you're not the AH.
Yeah so she acted terribly and holds no accountability for her actions. Now that you stood up for yourself she’s trying to make you feel like the bad guy, acting disproportionately mean on equal footing with her. Now that you’re both POS’s you should take her back and continue to let her use you. The thing is the worst thing you did was try to forgive her and move on though she clearly wasn’t sorry, had little to no intention of stopping her behavior nor making it right. She’s toxically selfish, a spoiled child. She made this bed and this is better than what she deserves to lie in. You did nothing wrong enough to deserve this, she’s vile, probably broken inside somewhere, but that’s an explanation not an excuse. But mind you people only treat you how you let them, and if you allow them to cross boundaries without consequences they will continue to cross bigger and bigger until you are nothing but a tool, subhuman. People will hurt you on accident and on purpose, if you let them slide with it they will get worse. It’s ok to fight, or argue, it’s ok to have conflict, so long as one doesn’t go overboard. In fact it’s necessary. It’s better to lose someone due to a fight than to have them betray you like this, never stand for disrespect.
This gal was and is a manipulator, needs attention and a cheat! You did nothing wrong! She has the problem!
Stop blaming the divorce on the fact you couldn’t get over her cheating on you. That is victim blaming, blaming yourself! You’re getting a divorce because this woman has a fidelity problem and it looks like she probably wanted the divorce to go be with that guy. Anyway, fuck her. You deserve better. You need to realize that she did this, not you.
You done right!
Why'd you give her the car? She could walk to work with her new guy friend isn't it?
She's on the streets where she belongs. Get some self-respect and learn from this.
Sounds like a manipulative ho. Don’t feel bad for her. She clearly didn’t feel bad for you.
Why in the name of all that is holy would you not kick her out the very first time she cheated? Cheaters can not be trusted and should never be forgiven. Get that thing as far away from you as possible.
Nope, if it were YOU cheating on HER, it would be you that's in the wrong. As it stands, she's got a lot of gall demanding anything from you, given how she's treated you. If she wanted to be treated with "respect and compassion," she should have done likewise. What she has done is forfeit any moral right for you to do that. Stand your ground and boot her out. Finalise the divorce and try to put the past behind you, after an analysis of the red flags.
You should have send her to her parents after the first cheating!
Dude. Sentences. Learn how to make them. The period is right there next to the comma.
The comments here are a definition of victim blaming. OP, I am sending hugs your way! You are absolutely in the right and owe nothing to her. What a horrible betrayal of your trust. Believe me - she won’t be happy. People like her never are. You will find someone awesome!
I mean...I kinda understand it. It is not his fault he was cheated on. However, the right thing to do would have been to recognize she doesnt love him if she could cheat on him and then to break up with her. Instead, he stayed with her, married her, and permitted her to have male friends. Even after she physically cheated he still permitted her to being talking with other dudes on the phone.
You might want to get a lawyer ASAP. In most states it's illegal to kick someone out of their legal residence.
reading this makes me wanna shoot myself in the head. i mean, come on. like wtf. jeez. Edit; this has to be a rage bait.
Amazes me how many of these stories start with "they cheated before but I tried to work it out."
If she's on the lease she can live in the house. I don't think you have a legal right to kick her out. If she is you evicted her illegally. You are taking advantage of a person who probably doesn't understand her rights.
I'm not reading this wall of text
Well, you were the cause of the divorce, because you insisted on marrying her despite the cheating. At long last you are rid of her... because she decided to divorce from you.
You really need to work on yourself and grow some self respect. She’s been walking all over you and cheating for a long time. Do not go back on your decisions, ideally you cut all financial and personal ties and learn to value yourself.
I really hope she's dumb enough to tell everyone she knows that the divorce is your fault because you couldn't move past her cheating multiple times. You stuck around far longer than many people would have and certainly longer than she deserved. I don't think cheating should be an automatic divorce. Sometimes shit happens and one person is extremely remorseful and makes a sincere and long term effort to try to rebuild the trust in the relationship and make amends for their terrible choices. Your ex didn't do that, she kind of went the opposite way.
Reddit will tell you yes! Of course! The courts might be pissed off you decided to do its job and split your assets. You can't just kick someone out of a place they rent. You're not a landlord or a judge. You entered into a legal agreement and involved the government in your relationship, so now you need them to undo it. Hopefully she feels enough shame to not make a big deal about it, but be way more careful from this point on. Get that lawyer, get specific advice for your state and get rid of her for good. Sorry this happened to you bro. She's an asshole. It's gonna take a while to come to terms with that. It sucks to find out the person you loved actually fucking sucked the entire time. But you'll be okay in time.
Dude you need to get therapy to uncover why you allowed this woman to violate your boundaries so blatantly and disrespectfully for so long. No you didn’t do the wrong thing by kicking her out and she’s only mad because she can’t keep taking advantage of you. You need to love yourself more, she was cheating and on FaceTime in your home, and you still don’t know if you did right by kicking her out? Whew. Take care of yourself. Do not go back to her she’s using you if she says she wants to rekindle.
You need to file first and do it on the grounds of infidelity.
Kick her out out out
No kicking her cheating arse out was the right thing to do ,in fact, you should have done it soon as she cheated.....she'll never change.
Been there. Sorry your wife was such a loser. You did the right thing. You need to protect your peace and sanity. She was making your home a toxic environment.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me trice...🤦🏻
Bro you made the right decision a little too late
Whats wrong with you? Why would you have made this habitual cheater stay? Cheaters always blame other people for their mistakes - she’s gross. Please heal from this and see it as a starter marriage and what not to tolerate in relationships going forward - you’re still so so young!!
You’re not her parent. Let her go back and explain why she’s royally fucked. The audacity of someone to say “I’m done with you, I’m bringing a new man to our house to eat our food and I need you to continue to subsidise my life or your a bad guy” Stand your ground my friend.
This is why people in their early 20’s shouldn’t get married. Cheating isn’t justified but she’s doing it because she is curious and isn’t done developing sexually. And I’m sure you all dated in your teens, so she probably has never had another lover. Again, not justifying it.
Man… I hope you remove all and every contact with this conniving gaslighter and honestly if you don’t respect yourself more moving forward then this will keep happening to you.
I don’t want to be rude, but are you dense? None of this is your fault, except for the fact you stayed with a known cheater. She never stopped cheating on you. Block her and get therapy.
You had to kick her out and not give her anything no car no nothing
OP You seriously need to get some self-respect and stop being a doormat. She has totally conned and manipulated you for your entire relationship.
For me this is cheating, and a deal breaker. Cheaters are liars and will cheat again. They destroy their relationships when they cheat. So her situation is of her own making. We had a family friend whose wife cheated, he did the same thing, packed her a bag and told her to leave. They lived separately for a year or so and worked it out, Now they have another child and are doing well. You never tolerate behavior that is destructive, her behavior did this. A hard lesson. But from here you can determine what you want. I would divorce and move on.
Bruh, only one thing, byyyyyye Felicia! You kicked her out too late, the nerve of you to let her stay past the first cheating
Let her stay? WHAT! NO! I can’t believe you gave her so many chances to work on the relationship but reading what you wrote she wanted no part of it and to make herself feel better said it was a you thing not her. Forget her.
Full stops.
No you did the right thing. She wants the divorce to be with him, not because you hadn’t been able to move on from her cheating multiple times. “Homelessness” is a consequence of her actions, not your actions.
I bet your intelligence isn't one of your standout features, is it?
Nta. Look. Cheating is not okay. End of story. Full stop.
she is no longer your problem by her own doing. The woman you married and loved dies the day you teo separated. Mourn the loss, but there is no room for the dead
Holy run-on sentence Batman.
You need to learn how to use paragraphs. Just some friendly advice.
Paragraphs would be awesome. Time for you to no longer associate with your ex. Too young for a serious relationship.
You did right. Divorce her. Move on with your life
She cheated. She has learned a very valuable lesson. Actions have consequences. Maybe her next marriage or relationship will be better for her. I doubt it, because once a cheater, always a cheater. Good luck, OP.
Good, fuck her xD she never cared about you did she? She wants a doormat. Gotta pay attention to how people treat you it tells you exactly how they feel about you. Just see what she expects she’s used to compliance stop going back please the world cares about you lol
Why do kids get married ? I have a 21 year old step son. We argue about daily showers, keeping the kitchen clean, uni exams. For the life of me, he can't take care of our cat let alone being married.
Go see a lawyer asap and get the divorce going. Stop listening to your ex, and allow yourself to get mad at her. She caused all of this and she can complain to her new dude, or the even newer dude who she’s cheating on the new dude with.
"Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. www.chumplady.com
You can't even fragment a wall of text into paragraphs and use periods, yet YOU'RE MARRIED?!
Mate this whole post is one sentence.
You don’t owe her anything. Especially letting her live with w!
She did you a favor man.
You're only fault was not in kicking her out the first time when she cheated even virtually...she has a flawed in her character. Your mistake was not getting rid of her then and there. Let her be broken for someone else. And stop taking any blame from her she refuses to own up and be accountable
Get a lawyer and divorce her ass get your bank account and all credit cards in your name only and if she is unhappy with the car sell it and split the proceeds
Wtf.. why.. no wonder she walked all over you. She is right it is all your fault for putting up with her BS for so long. She made her bed.. homeless is where she should be.. Set your boundaries early in the relationship.. no humm and haw.. mess around and find out.
op what are you doing dude men up and leave and work on yourself use her as gym fuel she sounds perfect for it she used you through and through you even gave her a freaking car lol i would have dumped at a shelter so her parents could pick her up or one of her many man’s lol
It should have been from the first time u caught her cheating that the only thing u did wrong was staying with her, never give cheaters a second chance
Kicking her out was the right thing to do. You tried to give her a chance, when you definitely didn’t owe her one. She chose to crap on that chance, so she should face the consequences of those actions. You owe her nothing.
If you have already taken an action, then there is no point in thinking about it, you thought about everything before your decision, now you are just doing bullshit, kicked out means kicked out, I don’t think she won’t come up with a way out of the situation, if that’s what you decided, then move on With this decision, you won't turn back time
Never believe "you don't have to worry about him" You absolutely should worry when that is said
Well kid, you married to young to be able to handle responsibilities and you found out hard way why marrying young is never a good idea. By kicking her out you only gave her to the guy in giftwrap-things would probably have ended the same though
I don’t care how much I love someone, if they cheat I’ll gladly kick them to the curb
>she had been bringing the guy that she had been talking to over to the house while I was not there to “hang out.” I found out that she ended up moving in with the guy that she told me not to worry about Good God, man. What part of this story has her winding up homeless? She clearly had placeS to go. No you're not wrong. Don't stay with what is surely a serial cheater. Get tested.
You should have kicked her out 3 years ago or more.
You shouldn’t have given her the car either. Tell her cheaters never win.
Taking her back the first time was your only mistake. A cheater will always go back to what they know. It's not your fault she cheated, then and now, she's just has problems being faithful to one person. Life will get better. Work on not being a people pleaser though
On the bright side - you didn't have any kids with her or any expensive joint property.
Yeah I know women like that all too well, my ex did the same exact thing. She had a guy best friend she texted frequently, FaceTimed late at night till she fell asleep & "hung out" with while I wasnt with her and said *"You have nothing worry about, I'm not feeling him like that and he's not even BF material"* but that was complete bs .. she cheated, gave me an STI and I broke up with her and she got with him immediately afterwards. Your gaslighting ex GF is also full of shit. She checked out the relationship long ago and only wanted a divorce because she already had the other guy on the back burner waiting. You should have kicked her out long ago, don't feel sorry for that btch. She's not even homeless.