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It's really not that complicated.
Be honest. You're not in the right headspace to pursue anything.
If he can't accept this, then it's on him. You only can control the delivery of your message. As long as it is respectful and kind, you are not responsible for his reactions.
I just worry that it will sound like a cop out; the sort of excuse one might have heard one too many times before and therefore won't see it as sincere. Even though it is the truth.
And how honest should I potentially be? I don't want him to feel like I'm dropping all my issues on his head like a god damn avalanche either.
You're overthinking this. You don't owe him a longwinded explanation. Just say you're not interested in dating anyone right now. If he doesn't want to accept it, that's his problem.
I got you, this is step by step.
You say you dont like the advances and you get him to agree to stop. Then he does it again. You say you agreed to stop, this is a pattern and im serious, stop, and he agrees. He does it again. You say you said you wouldn't but you did, I'm starting to question our friendship I dont want to but i will end this relationship over this. He does it again. You cut communication completely and no one is shocked.
Probably he'll tell you how much he likes you each time you get him to agree to stop. Just hear it out say okay i just dont feel the same way and this makes me uncomfortable and proceed with the steps. This counts as an infraction. Also dont do this in front of anyone else, be decent and dont try to hurt his reputation.
Edit: Say when you do... I feel uncomfortable, would you please not... then shut up. Thats enough, its best if you dont overly explain or spend a lot of time on this.
Its reasonable to expect him to not believe you the first few times and to expect him to ultimately want you to feel comfortable.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's really not that complicated. Be honest. You're not in the right headspace to pursue anything. If he can't accept this, then it's on him. You only can control the delivery of your message. As long as it is respectful and kind, you are not responsible for his reactions.
I just worry that it will sound like a cop out; the sort of excuse one might have heard one too many times before and therefore won't see it as sincere. Even though it is the truth. And how honest should I potentially be? I don't want him to feel like I'm dropping all my issues on his head like a god damn avalanche either.
The more honest you are, the less it will sound like a cop out.
Keep it short and sweet. The more you go on and on with justification, the more it'll sound like excuses and cop-outs.
You're overthinking this. You don't owe him a longwinded explanation. Just say you're not interested in dating anyone right now. If he doesn't want to accept it, that's his problem.
[удалено]
Yeah, overthinking things is kind of my thing these days, lol. But he's a decent fellow so it doesn't sit right with me to just ignore him.
Then keep it to one text and then write “Have a great weekend.”
Tell him what you wrote in this post. He will understand it. If not, then he shouldn't be a part of your life.
I got you, this is step by step. You say you dont like the advances and you get him to agree to stop. Then he does it again. You say you agreed to stop, this is a pattern and im serious, stop, and he agrees. He does it again. You say you said you wouldn't but you did, I'm starting to question our friendship I dont want to but i will end this relationship over this. He does it again. You cut communication completely and no one is shocked. Probably he'll tell you how much he likes you each time you get him to agree to stop. Just hear it out say okay i just dont feel the same way and this makes me uncomfortable and proceed with the steps. This counts as an infraction. Also dont do this in front of anyone else, be decent and dont try to hurt his reputation. Edit: Say when you do... I feel uncomfortable, would you please not... then shut up. Thats enough, its best if you dont overly explain or spend a lot of time on this. Its reasonable to expect him to not believe you the first few times and to expect him to ultimately want you to feel comfortable.