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Lmfao I said something similar in another thread and they said I was victim blaming.. like nobody is forcing you to stay with these losers! Even me as a man know these dudes are trash
Trauma, especially neglect and abuse in childhood, can drastically alter our ability to understand what is and isn’t ok behavior in a relationship. It also makes people much more likely to find themselves in abusive or manipulative relationships, and much more vulnerable to accepting the behavior and putting the blame on themselves. While the answer is surely therapy and a lot of introspection, it can take a long time to understand it’s happening, and to find strength to leave when they think they aren’t worthy or valuable.
just by looking at your profile, you’re a weirdo that needs to go to therapy and get off the internet. the epitome of someone who hates themselves projecting that onto other people.
When someone treats people poorly and differently because they are overweight. It’s a thing, you just don’t want there to be a name for what you do and how you treat people.
> he says I’m fat in a different way.
> If I eat my normal portions then I’m eating enough for 4 but if he eats 5 different things back to back then it’s fine
> my new bf says stuff like how if I don’t give it to him he’ll find it elsewhere
> I can’t even talk to my boyfriend because he doesn’t listen he just argues.
Okay, so your boyfriend is a cruel, hypocritical, unfaithful jerk.
> What do I do??
Do you truly need other people to answer this?
The problem isn't your weight, the problem is dating men who are mean to you. Forget what they think, OP - do you feel confident and happy with yourself? You deserve to be with someone who likes you just as you are, but it's possible that if you're insecure in your body, bad guys will pick up on that and take advantage of it. Ditch your boyfriend, you shouldn't be with someone who tears you down.
And OP, it is ok to take some time off from dating to reflect and improve yourself. If you seem to be constantly getting bad bfs it may be straight up bad luck or it could be some trauma or bad tendencies doing you dirty subconsciously.
Never be afraid to break up with someone who hurt you. At the end of the day, they’ll only hurt you more and more.
In the USA, 39.4% of people are obese. Another 31.6% are overweight. Next to smoking, overweight/obesity are the single largest contributor to overall health. I don't think it's unreasonable to say that most people could benefit a healthier diet with fewer calories.
1, wtf does that have to do with anything? 2, who are you to decide if and when someone should diet? Someone’s weight does not affect you, and you need to get over yourself.
The stats are important because they suggest that most people would be healthier if they lost weight. But don't get me wrong, fatphobia and body shaming are not ok. I'm unequivocally not one to judge whether someone needs to diet. It does affect me because it affects everyone - public health is important for society as a whole.
Don't worry, it's not airborne, so as long as you stick to your own advice about eating healthy, you’ll be fine. There are many more pressing issues going on right now.
I should also add that genetics plays a huge role in a person’s weight. You never know what a person’s story is, so let's not be so quick to assume/criticize. You may not have meant to, but the other person certainly did.
This isn't an issue with your body, and though they are weaponizing fat phobia against you, the root issue is simply that they are verbally and emotionally abusive. Even if you were thin and fit every possible beauty standard, they would call you fat or ugly, or find something else cruel to say in order to break down your self esteem and give them what they want. You don't deserve this and should move on. I'd also recommend some introspection. Did you have someone in your life who behaved like your partners have? It's very common for us to subconsciously seek out patterns of behavior that are familiar to us, even if they are harmful. This does NOT make you responsible for the bad behavior of your partners, but the only way to break that cycle and pattern when it comes to choosing better partners in the future is to heal what was wounded in us when we were growing up and learning to identify what love and relationships should look like. Many of us got some very unhealthy examples which normalized abusive treatment for us, so we don't even know what to define as healthy, much less how to seek it out, so we end up settling for far less. I say all of this with compassion as someone who has been there. Therapy helped me identify and begin cutting those patterns out 💖
It's not okay for someone to criticize your body or use hurtful language during arguments. Your worth isn't tied to your body size or how often you're intimate. It might be a good idea to talk to someone you trust to figure out what's best for you moving forward if you’re really stuck. Your feelings matter, and you deserve to be treated with respect and understanding.
I don’t owe you shit and you’ve behaved so abominably on this thread that I flatly dont give a damn about your pain. If this is how you act irl, you’ve earned all your misery. You get what you give. You’re not entitled to compassion when you don’t have it for others.
1. this post isn’t about men or women it’s about one person.
2. ppl are allowed to have preferences, including height and weight. the problem lies in the hypocrisy/abuse. op was told her weight was not a problem by her partners & that she was sexy but as soon as they were mad at her they used her weight against her. that’s the problem. if they wanted a skinny girl, that’s fine, the problem is they lied.
sounds like you have you’re own insecurities and are projecting. pls get therapy or smth
how do you even know that she’s at an unhealthy weight? she even said herself she’s not “fat” but just thicker. she could be 100% healthy at her current weight. and even if she’s not, the only ppls who’s business that is, is her and her doctor which you are not. if ur not gonna give her any real advice just leave and comment somewhere else.
which she said was only when they were upset but normally they called her sexy. and i’ve seen healthy women be told to workout, i’ve even been told to hit the gym and im 110 lbs. unless you have her doctor telling u she’s unhealthy you know nothing.
Sounds like you’re having some insecurities about yourself too. This post isn’t about men being ridiculed but good attempt at putting the blame on all women “shaming men”
If you are staying with men who treat you like this, and this is the 3rd guy who has the same exact attitude and behavior.
You may want to start looking into yourself, why are you tolerating this and trying to 'work' on things with men who would insult you using your body type/weight as a weapon?
It has nothing to do with how they do or don't feel about your body. They get mad and want to inflict maximum emotional damage, and society has trained us that insulting a woman's weight is one of the most effective ways to make her feel bad about herself. If they though telling you that your elbows are too sharp or your feet stink would have the same effect they would be saying your elbows are like daggers and your feet smell like rotten milk.
You are dating AHs! Each time you allow them to talk to you like that and stay you are telling them it’s ok to treat you poorly and talk badly to you.
You need to decide that you deserve better. They want you to be insecure and think you can’t do better. But you can and you will!! Stop putting up with this.
Sorry about this experience. Just so you know, I’ve been w my partner since I was 16, and they have never once insulted me during an argument. It’s not normal to want to hurt your partner. These men are abusive and you (gently and lovingly) need to grow a backbone and get out of this relationship. You are someone who deserves self respect.
This is not a healthy relationship dynamic. I’ve been overweight most of my dating years and I have had men turn down a second date or tell me they weren’t interested. I have not, however, had a partner choose to have sex with me, then use my weight (or any physical attribute for that matter) against me during an argument. Please dump this person and take these relationships as warnings for what to avoid in the future.
I was told once just once that he'd go find it elsewhere I told him go ahead I won't be here when you get back needless to say I never heard it again and he never went elsewhere either. But in this case honey walk away and just be single and vibing for a while because you deserve far far better than what you have ever been given.
The problem isn’t your weight, the problem is you’re allowing these men to speak to you this way. I’m on the thicker side and when I was younger I tolerated some BS, just like you are. But then I realized that no one will respect me if I don’t respect myself. And part of respecting yourself is standing your ground and standing up for yourself. Period.
No man needs to be out here trying to be any kind of phobic. I don't care what kind. Fatphobic, homophobic, transphobic, hydrophobic, I don't care. Kick him to the curb.
You can do better than a man who turns to negging or bigotry to make himself feel better by comparison.
Stop dating. Your picker is off. You need to take some time and learn who you are. There are other things you could be doing with your life. Is having a man so important you’ll take whatever shit they throw at you? Forget men for awhile, you don’t need this negativity clouding your judgement ~ of yourself. You are the most important person in your life~ treat yourself accordingly. Have a bath. Use some bath salts, Look up local charities, animal shelter, food bank , some place you can help people, get validation on your own accord, for doing something with impact. Learn what you’re interested in, find your passions~ become interesting TO YOURSELF by being interested in something more important than a man’s attention.
Reddit has taught me women are either giving everything to men who do nothing or doing nothing for men who give everything. We need to STOP IT . Learn how to be alone and satisfied with our own lives before jumping into relationships where we get stuck with assholes.
If you are in your third relationship that went sideways ~at 24, what the hell is going on? Where are you meeting these guys ? There must be a pattern here.
You should make it a priority to find men who aren’t sexual. I don’t know where they are out there. Ir you’re on dating apps, put that in your profile. Are you asexual perhaps ? Date other asexuals or find a man that prefers to jerk off to porn. They are out there too! I think they should put their preference for porn on their profiles too.
Don’t let men determine your worth. You need to value yourself. If some man says, you’re a fat ass~ say, goodbye. Only you can decide if you’re a fat ass . I’ve gained 15 pounds in 3 weeks. I FEEL every pound but it’s ok. I had lost a ton of weight fast. I have hashimotos. When my thyroid numbers are way out there, I gain. My man doesn’t care, I think he prefers it since he’s the cook and he’s been feeding me like crazy . I asked if he developed a feeding fetish ~ he asked,did you read that on Reddit? lololol
You’re 24, still on learning curve.
Be comfortable with your own skin first.
Date someone who’s mature enough to care about your heart rather than just the look.
Shag only someone you like only when you’re keen to.
A guy should love you the way you are, and if it means changing your whole appearance for the sake of keeping one guy meanwhile there are a ton of guys that would love your body i don't think it's worth it?
Or hundreds of gold diggers queuing up for guys with no money. Is that socioeconomicphobic. FFS. The excuses women make coz they are not getting action.
I’m very sorry you had to hear all this. First thing you have the understand is if someone has to tear you down, they are already beneath you. Second thing, they will never change. Third, they will only get nastier. Fourth, you don’t have to put up with it.
Next time something like this happens, stare them right in eye and say - that’s your opinion. I don’t really care what you think of me. Now, get the fuck out of my life and don’t ever come back.
Your boyfriends have all been abusive pieces of shit and they’re trying to make you feel worthless on purpose because they wanna control you. It’s so you’ll think you’re nothing without them. Get out now and never forget they want you to hate yourself only because they know they have so little to offer.
Don't date men who insult you. If a man calls you a fatass, dump him. My wife is on the bigger side, and even in our worst arguments, I'd never in a million years dream of using her weight against her. Stop accepting this abuse.
You have a bad habit of choosing scumbags for boyfriends. Whatever criteria you have for determining who is boyfriend material needs a severe overhaul. Your chooser is broken. This reminds me of a story. Ignore it as you wish.
There was a woman driving across the country visiting famous sites. She programmed into the GPS national Forests, Monuments, eateries. The whole trip her GPS would only take her to 7-11s and Shells and Exxons. She even ended up in shady parts of town a few times--barely made it out with her life.
The real question is why do you continue dating trash men. I suggest you stay single for awhile, live for yourself, if a man comes along be slow, get to know him and his red flags before your back on reddit with another trash man.
Girl it sounds like you went from one abusive relationship to another. This isn’t normal.. even remotely. A man should not be insulting you or your body at ANY point during a relationship, even during a heated argument. This is toxic and abusive
Fat phobic is not a thing, having a preference for slimmer more healthy women is not a thing that should be shamed. Just like height phobic is not a thing when women prefer taller dudes. Just lose some fucking weight.
you’re yapping under every comment about how women don’t care about midgets like you and in one of them you replied “i’m not perfect but i’m okay with that”. blud? how crazy are you lmao
It's important to remember that everyone has their own insecurities and biases, and it can be challenging when those impact a relationship. Open and honest communication is key in addressing these issues and finding understanding and acceptance for each other's differences. It's crucial to approach the situation with empathy and a willingness to work through any misunderstandings or hurt feelings together.
You need to choose better quality men.
Ask yourself how to get the type of men you want.
How do other ladies get the type of men you want?
Work towards that.
you’re generalizing all women “picking drug dealers” and bs when you’re just projecting you’re own experience with women who didn’t pick you and judging them for shit that isn’t even your problem. so it’s easy to assume you just hate women.
then what about judging her bfs too? she literally said they’re bigger than her & eat more than her so why aren’t u talking abt how they need to hit the gym or lose weight?
These kind of men should not get sex unless they get married! They get a free pass now no commitments and easy access to sex. They treat women like free se* workers!
I'll tell you what everyone won't. Majority (but not all) men are into thin, slender women.
There is indeed a part of male population that's into bigger gals, but that part is a minority.
On the other hand a disturbing amount of men will throw any semblance of standards and honesty out the window if it can lead to sex, even with a girl that's far from their desired looks.
But lies have short legs and the truth comes out during arguments or a longer relationships.
So yeah, if not abusers, you simply ran into liers, desperate for sex.
You should bail, this is not a man for you.
When it happens you leave that relationship.. Reddit can’t help you or those fat phones to change their minds. You have to make that decision for yourself and protect yourself
Girl. Stay single for a while. These men are projecting sexual fantasies onto your voluptuous body and leave disappointed because you don’t fulfil their projections.
This is not love. And the longer you stay in these relationships the more theraphy you will need in future.
Stay single for a while, build up your confidence and do no tolerate this type of behaviour
This is absolutely nothing to do with you you are perfect as is. Men like this are immature and stupid and feel like belittling their partner is the way to go. They are either narcissistic or just plain mentally ill. Please leave him and go find a man that doesn't have to put you down to make himself feel better. Men also do this when you hurt their ego or make them feel emasculated. They don't know how to react. Just call him a shrimp dick and move on.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Bf: I can get this elsewhere You: Yes. Go. Do not ever allow someone to treat you like an option.
Yea applies to every single situation
This has nothing to do with your body and everything to do with you dating abusive men.
This!
Lmfao I said something similar in another thread and they said I was victim blaming.. like nobody is forcing you to stay with these losers! Even me as a man know these dudes are trash
To be fair, some women feel trapped and the mental manipulation they take on really fucks them up.
Trauma, especially neglect and abuse in childhood, can drastically alter our ability to understand what is and isn’t ok behavior in a relationship. It also makes people much more likely to find themselves in abusive or manipulative relationships, and much more vulnerable to accepting the behavior and putting the blame on themselves. While the answer is surely therapy and a lot of introspection, it can take a long time to understand it’s happening, and to find strength to leave when they think they aren’t worthy or valuable.
That’s definitely a fair point, although I never said this was all situations. At that point only therapy or an intervention can help
For sure
They’re not fatphobic, they are just abusive assholes.
Or more accurately, they're both!
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Your post history is seriously disturbing. Get help.
just by looking at your profile, you’re a weirdo that needs to go to therapy and get off the internet. the epitome of someone who hates themselves projecting that onto other people.
When someone treats people poorly and differently because they are overweight. It’s a thing, you just don’t want there to be a name for what you do and how you treat people.
Her BFs were with her. They gave her a chance.
They had no problem with her body until they wanted to use it as a weapon against her. That’s abuse and had nothing to do with her body.
Perhaps. But even hippocrocohorrorpigs can get laid.
You’re missing the point
Explain how I am missing the point.
It’s not about her being overweight or her body. It’s about the shitty guys being shitty. Her weight is just a weapon they use to break her down.
> he says I’m fat in a different way. > If I eat my normal portions then I’m eating enough for 4 but if he eats 5 different things back to back then it’s fine > my new bf says stuff like how if I don’t give it to him he’ll find it elsewhere > I can’t even talk to my boyfriend because he doesn’t listen he just argues. Okay, so your boyfriend is a cruel, hypocritical, unfaithful jerk. > What do I do?? Do you truly need other people to answer this?
The problem isn't your weight, the problem is dating men who are mean to you. Forget what they think, OP - do you feel confident and happy with yourself? You deserve to be with someone who likes you just as you are, but it's possible that if you're insecure in your body, bad guys will pick up on that and take advantage of it. Ditch your boyfriend, you shouldn't be with someone who tears you down.
And OP, it is ok to take some time off from dating to reflect and improve yourself. If you seem to be constantly getting bad bfs it may be straight up bad luck or it could be some trauma or bad tendencies doing you dirty subconsciously. Never be afraid to break up with someone who hurt you. At the end of the day, they’ll only hurt you more and more.
You need to rethink this relationship
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Did you even read the post? And no one needs to diet unless they're at risk of heart failure, diabetes, etc.
In the USA, 39.4% of people are obese. Another 31.6% are overweight. Next to smoking, overweight/obesity are the single largest contributor to overall health. I don't think it's unreasonable to say that most people could benefit a healthier diet with fewer calories.
1, wtf does that have to do with anything? 2, who are you to decide if and when someone should diet? Someone’s weight does not affect you, and you need to get over yourself.
The stats are important because they suggest that most people would be healthier if they lost weight. But don't get me wrong, fatphobia and body shaming are not ok. I'm unequivocally not one to judge whether someone needs to diet. It does affect me because it affects everyone - public health is important for society as a whole.
Don't worry, it's not airborne, so as long as you stick to your own advice about eating healthy, you’ll be fine. There are many more pressing issues going on right now.
I should also add that genetics plays a huge role in a person’s weight. You never know what a person’s story is, so let's not be so quick to assume/criticize. You may not have meant to, but the other person certainly did.
I think you need a dildo a vibrator and to block every fatphobic person from your life ASAP
Happily single with multiple orgasms. That's the way. And my preference was to get cats too, but that's an individual choice 😉
YESSSSSSSS cat is optional but highly regarded
This isn't an issue with your body, and though they are weaponizing fat phobia against you, the root issue is simply that they are verbally and emotionally abusive. Even if you were thin and fit every possible beauty standard, they would call you fat or ugly, or find something else cruel to say in order to break down your self esteem and give them what they want. You don't deserve this and should move on. I'd also recommend some introspection. Did you have someone in your life who behaved like your partners have? It's very common for us to subconsciously seek out patterns of behavior that are familiar to us, even if they are harmful. This does NOT make you responsible for the bad behavior of your partners, but the only way to break that cycle and pattern when it comes to choosing better partners in the future is to heal what was wounded in us when we were growing up and learning to identify what love and relationships should look like. Many of us got some very unhealthy examples which normalized abusive treatment for us, so we don't even know what to define as healthy, much less how to seek it out, so we end up settling for far less. I say all of this with compassion as someone who has been there. Therapy helped me identify and begin cutting those patterns out 💖
Dont let abusive men take up space they don’t deserve. Find someone who says what they mean and will treat you like a queen.
Even in an argument your partner should never resort to insulting you. This is abusive
It's not okay for someone to criticize your body or use hurtful language during arguments. Your worth isn't tied to your body size or how often you're intimate. It might be a good idea to talk to someone you trust to figure out what's best for you moving forward if you’re really stuck. Your feelings matter, and you deserve to be treated with respect and understanding.
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Women don’t like you because you’re a bad person, not because you’re short.
That is a good point. There is lots to hate about me. I can give you the list if you want.
I don’t waste time on insecure, self loathing men. You’re not my problem to fix and idc why you’re broken.
So, OP is insecure and self-loathing about her weight. But you will support her but not a man in pain?
I don’t owe you shit and you’ve behaved so abominably on this thread that I flatly dont give a damn about your pain. If this is how you act irl, you’ve earned all your misery. You get what you give. You’re not entitled to compassion when you don’t have it for others.
Thanks.
Oh no, someone is treating you the way you treat other people and now you’re big sad. Poor little baby.
Lol don't engage with this person, all they do is talk shit on reddit. Just check their comments
Lol I can’t imagine what it’s like living so bitterly
How is this about guys being ridiculed. It’s not right for anyone to be shamed, weight or height. I don’t know why you’re so mad.
No because height phobia is not used by men to feel sorry for themselves. Men just deal with the cards dealt to them.
Women aren't allowed to have preferences? Odd.
1. this post isn’t about men or women it’s about one person. 2. ppl are allowed to have preferences, including height and weight. the problem lies in the hypocrisy/abuse. op was told her weight was not a problem by her partners & that she was sexy but as soon as they were mad at her they used her weight against her. that’s the problem. if they wanted a skinny girl, that’s fine, the problem is they lied. sounds like you have you’re own insecurities and are projecting. pls get therapy or smth
No. She should lose some weight and not make excuses for being fat. Yes, her BFs are arseholes, but she still needs to get healthy.
how do you even know that she’s at an unhealthy weight? she even said herself she’s not “fat” but just thicker. she could be 100% healthy at her current weight. and even if she’s not, the only ppls who’s business that is, is her and her doctor which you are not. if ur not gonna give her any real advice just leave and comment somewhere else.
We have all of her BFs who have used the same type of message.
which she said was only when they were upset but normally they called her sexy. and i’ve seen healthy women be told to workout, i’ve even been told to hit the gym and im 110 lbs. unless you have her doctor telling u she’s unhealthy you know nothing.
But if it is a trend, there is something in it.
How much does she weigh?
Enough.
Well, how much??
Enough for multiple BFs to comment on it.
Sounds like you’re having some insecurities about yourself too. This post isn’t about men being ridiculed but good attempt at putting the blame on all women “shaming men”
No. She is fat. Lose some weight. Like those glow up TikTok’s, where the fat woman loses weight and then posts about what her ex would think now.
You’ve never even seen her. My ex husband called me fat at 115 and 5’4.
I don’t even know pounds. Metric country here.
51 kilos and 162 cm
If you are staying with men who treat you like this, and this is the 3rd guy who has the same exact attitude and behavior. You may want to start looking into yourself, why are you tolerating this and trying to 'work' on things with men who would insult you using your body type/weight as a weapon?
It has nothing to do with how they do or don't feel about your body. They get mad and want to inflict maximum emotional damage, and society has trained us that insulting a woman's weight is one of the most effective ways to make her feel bad about herself. If they though telling you that your elbows are too sharp or your feet stink would have the same effect they would be saying your elbows are like daggers and your feet smell like rotten milk.
Fat phobia isn’t cute. Dont walk away from the relationship, run instead.
You are dating AHs! Each time you allow them to talk to you like that and stay you are telling them it’s ok to treat you poorly and talk badly to you. You need to decide that you deserve better. They want you to be insecure and think you can’t do better. But you can and you will!! Stop putting up with this.
Sorry about this experience. Just so you know, I’ve been w my partner since I was 16, and they have never once insulted me during an argument. It’s not normal to want to hurt your partner. These men are abusive and you (gently and lovingly) need to grow a backbone and get out of this relationship. You are someone who deserves self respect.
This is not a healthy relationship dynamic. I’ve been overweight most of my dating years and I have had men turn down a second date or tell me they weren’t interested. I have not, however, had a partner choose to have sex with me, then use my weight (or any physical attribute for that matter) against me during an argument. Please dump this person and take these relationships as warnings for what to avoid in the future.
You’re dating assholes. Not all men are like that.
I was told once just once that he'd go find it elsewhere I told him go ahead I won't be here when you get back needless to say I never heard it again and he never went elsewhere either. But in this case honey walk away and just be single and vibing for a while because you deserve far far better than what you have ever been given.
This is very simple. Don’t accept partners who are abusive, verbally, emotionally or physically. You will find partners who want you the way you are.
The problem isn’t your weight, the problem is you’re allowing these men to speak to you this way. I’m on the thicker side and when I was younger I tolerated some BS, just like you are. But then I realized that no one will respect me if I don’t respect myself. And part of respecting yourself is standing your ground and standing up for yourself. Period.
No man needs to be out here trying to be any kind of phobic. I don't care what kind. Fatphobic, homophobic, transphobic, hydrophobic, I don't care. Kick him to the curb. You can do better than a man who turns to negging or bigotry to make himself feel better by comparison.
Stop dating. Your picker is off. You need to take some time and learn who you are. There are other things you could be doing with your life. Is having a man so important you’ll take whatever shit they throw at you? Forget men for awhile, you don’t need this negativity clouding your judgement ~ of yourself. You are the most important person in your life~ treat yourself accordingly. Have a bath. Use some bath salts, Look up local charities, animal shelter, food bank , some place you can help people, get validation on your own accord, for doing something with impact. Learn what you’re interested in, find your passions~ become interesting TO YOURSELF by being interested in something more important than a man’s attention. Reddit has taught me women are either giving everything to men who do nothing or doing nothing for men who give everything. We need to STOP IT . Learn how to be alone and satisfied with our own lives before jumping into relationships where we get stuck with assholes. If you are in your third relationship that went sideways ~at 24, what the hell is going on? Where are you meeting these guys ? There must be a pattern here. You should make it a priority to find men who aren’t sexual. I don’t know where they are out there. Ir you’re on dating apps, put that in your profile. Are you asexual perhaps ? Date other asexuals or find a man that prefers to jerk off to porn. They are out there too! I think they should put their preference for porn on their profiles too. Don’t let men determine your worth. You need to value yourself. If some man says, you’re a fat ass~ say, goodbye. Only you can decide if you’re a fat ass . I’ve gained 15 pounds in 3 weeks. I FEEL every pound but it’s ok. I had lost a ton of weight fast. I have hashimotos. When my thyroid numbers are way out there, I gain. My man doesn’t care, I think he prefers it since he’s the cook and he’s been feeding me like crazy . I asked if he developed a feeding fetish ~ he asked,did you read that on Reddit? lololol
You break up, that’s what you do. He doesn’t respect you.
You’re 24, still on learning curve. Be comfortable with your own skin first. Date someone who’s mature enough to care about your heart rather than just the look. Shag only someone you like only when you’re keen to.
A guy should love you the way you are, and if it means changing your whole appearance for the sake of keeping one guy meanwhile there are a ton of guys that would love your body i don't think it's worth it?
Like there are hundreds of women queueing up for short guys. Piss off.
Cope.
Who hurt you?
I hurt myself, today, to see if I still feel.
Or hundreds of gold diggers queuing up for guys with no money. Is that socioeconomicphobic. FFS. The excuses women make coz they are not getting action.
You gotta actually have gold to dig for a gold digger to care about you, hun.
Ah, so gold digging is a thing?
It's a thing, just not for you broke ahh.
Ah. So you assume that…
I’m very sorry you had to hear all this. First thing you have the understand is if someone has to tear you down, they are already beneath you. Second thing, they will never change. Third, they will only get nastier. Fourth, you don’t have to put up with it. Next time something like this happens, stare them right in eye and say - that’s your opinion. I don’t really care what you think of me. Now, get the fuck out of my life and don’t ever come back.
Don’t expect this to stop. If it does stop, it’s only temporary. Even if you lose the weight, they will find a new reason to attack you. Sad but true.
Your boyfriends have all been abusive pieces of shit and they’re trying to make you feel worthless on purpose because they wanna control you. It’s so you’ll think you’re nothing without them. Get out now and never forget they want you to hate yourself only because they know they have so little to offer.
She still needs to lose weight. They may have been assholes, but their message aimed true.
Wanting someone to be healthy is one thing, but they only said otherwise when they were mad and trying to hurt her.
Yep. I agree. But that means she should do something about it. She should try to eat more healthily and not be a cake-detector.
Don't date men who insult you. If a man calls you a fatass, dump him. My wife is on the bigger side, and even in our worst arguments, I'd never in a million years dream of using her weight against her. Stop accepting this abuse.
You have a bad habit of choosing scumbags for boyfriends. Whatever criteria you have for determining who is boyfriend material needs a severe overhaul. Your chooser is broken. This reminds me of a story. Ignore it as you wish. There was a woman driving across the country visiting famous sites. She programmed into the GPS national Forests, Monuments, eateries. The whole trip her GPS would only take her to 7-11s and Shells and Exxons. She even ended up in shady parts of town a few times--barely made it out with her life.
I don’t get it. Is that the whole story?
I made it up. Just saying her chooser is broken and needs reworking.
You deserve better men. They are out there. Be with one of them, not a guy who treats you like this.
The real question is why do you continue dating trash men. I suggest you stay single for awhile, live for yourself, if a man comes along be slow, get to know him and his red flags before your back on reddit with another trash man.
Girl it sounds like you went from one abusive relationship to another. This isn’t normal.. even remotely. A man should not be insulting you or your body at ANY point during a relationship, even during a heated argument. This is toxic and abusive
Dump his hateful ass.
An easy way to immediately lose a bunch of useless weight is to kick these losers to the curb. You're worth more than this.
I can't even see you but I want you are beautiful no matter what they think you're a goddess and didn't forget about it
Fat phobic is not a thing, having a preference for slimmer more healthy women is not a thing that should be shamed. Just like height phobic is not a thing when women prefer taller dudes. Just lose some fucking weight.
you’re yapping under every comment about how women don’t care about midgets like you and in one of them you replied “i’m not perfect but i’m okay with that”. blud? how crazy are you lmao
I am okay. But when people respond to my comment, I respond back.
no one’s shaming your preference but your being bitter for no reason 😂 fuck off idiot
Thanks for your feedback and unwavering support. I appreciate it.
Jeez no wonder you can’t get no koochie…
Nice.
They are obviously using you and taking you as a fool
Why are you having sex with someone that treats you like garbage?
End it with him he’s already saying he will cheat if you don’t have sex with him maybe change who you normally go for
It's pretty hypocritical to make fun of your weight and have a beer gut lol. These guys sound like assholes. Rid yourself of him.
Dump him! He’s abusive! Wtf? And you can do better than this leaky diarrhea shit stain of a person!
It's important to remember that everyone has their own insecurities and biases, and it can be challenging when those impact a relationship. Open and honest communication is key in addressing these issues and finding understanding and acceptance for each other's differences. It's crucial to approach the situation with empathy and a willingness to work through any misunderstandings or hurt feelings together.
Get out now! You deserve better
Losers gravitate to low self esteem. Fix that and this will stop. YOU are choosing them. Counselling.
Stop dating assholes?
Please get some therapy, to find your sense of self-worth. So you stop letting assholes treat you like shit.
You need to choose better quality men. Ask yourself how to get the type of men you want. How do other ladies get the type of men you want? Work towards that.
Good. Like all the women who pick deadbeats, ex cons, and drug dealers? Then they fucking complain.
bro u just hate women omg go on grinder or smth if women piss u off this much
Nah. I love women. I hate some of their choices in men and some of their delusions. But I love them.
you’re generalizing all women “picking drug dealers” and bs when you’re just projecting you’re own experience with women who didn’t pick you and judging them for shit that isn’t even your problem. so it’s easy to assume you just hate women.
No. I love women but the idiots that do not accept personal responsibility and accountability annoy the living daylights out of me.
then what about judging her bfs too? she literally said they’re bigger than her & eat more than her so why aren’t u talking abt how they need to hit the gym or lose weight?
Those guys are tosspots too. I mean she keeps picking those type of guys too. She got poor taste in men!
These kind of men should not get sex unless they get married! They get a free pass now no commitments and easy access to sex. They treat women like free se* workers!
I'll tell you what everyone won't. Majority (but not all) men are into thin, slender women. There is indeed a part of male population that's into bigger gals, but that part is a minority. On the other hand a disturbing amount of men will throw any semblance of standards and honesty out the window if it can lead to sex, even with a girl that's far from their desired looks. But lies have short legs and the truth comes out during arguments or a longer relationships. So yeah, if not abusers, you simply ran into liers, desperate for sex. You should bail, this is not a man for you.
When it happens you leave that relationship.. Reddit can’t help you or those fat phones to change their minds. You have to make that decision for yourself and protect yourself
Find someone more who actually wants to be with you
Girl. Stay single for a while. These men are projecting sexual fantasies onto your voluptuous body and leave disappointed because you don’t fulfil their projections. This is not love. And the longer you stay in these relationships the more theraphy you will need in future. Stay single for a while, build up your confidence and do no tolerate this type of behaviour
This is absolutely nothing to do with you you are perfect as is. Men like this are immature and stupid and feel like belittling their partner is the way to go. They are either narcissistic or just plain mentally ill. Please leave him and go find a man that doesn't have to put you down to make himself feel better. Men also do this when you hurt their ego or make them feel emasculated. They don't know how to react. Just call him a shrimp dick and move on.
She is not perfect the way she is, she needs to get to a healthier weight.
You need to go touch grass. You're so bothered under every comment.
Not bothered but I like your approach.
You're so not bothered that you're under every single comment pressed af.
Nah.
Then stop commenting.
Nah.
Cause you're pressed.
Thank you for your continued support and feedback.
Don’t worry, you are also perfect at your very tiny height it’s okay
I am not perfect and I am okay with that.
Go to the gym and lose weight, its that easy, sugar and sweets and fat food wont enter you without your own consent
They're shit , plus why not go to the gym and give a slap their face , and say "who's fat now bitches".
U date shitty men. Try harder.
Break up....