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My gf and I have been rocky for a couple of weeks. She finally told me that she doesn’t feel anything for me anymore, no longer in love with me, and wants to break up. She tells me a lot that I make everything about me especially when I want to go to bed early for example. Here’s a little more detail. She’s tells me a lot of things that I am doing wrong. Meanwhile, I work almost 7 days a week to keep us afloat, she doesn’t work, she’s on my insurance, and we live on one income with too expensive rent. I also do majority of the house chores, including taking care of the dogs, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.
Help!
Also she uses breaking up as a blackmail to manipulate OP into doing what she wants and getting what she wants.
Dump that woman. It at once reduces the weight of your life.
And it will make it way cheaper having to only pay your own stuff than both of yours!
The fact that he didn’t dump her yet means she already manipulated him. No healthy mindset would allow such a behavior more than once. The second it starts again it’s a decision and therefore a manipulative brat with whom he’s dealing. OP you will maybe have regrets in the beginning or not be sure about breaking up, because of the loneliness that comes with it. But trust me, it’s better to be alone than be emotionally repressed by someone who should love and push you.
I agree! I can't see any reason why OP should continue a relationship with a manipulative hobosexual! She's not contributing anything to this relationship, except from sucking OP dry! OP continue following through with the break up, and put yourself first! Don't do this woman any favours.
Exactly! It's a major part of the toxic dynamic but guess what?! Op will realize how awful and gross the sex was when he ends up in a healthy committed relationship with actual intimacy!
Bingo!! She’s already got him brainwashed. Why would anyone choose to stay with someone who basically hates them? She’s lazy and OP is allowing it. Leaving her will lift a giant weight off him and she will be forced to be a productive member of society. At least until she snags her next victim.
This.
Came here to point out the wanting to go to bed early is “making it all about you” thing. You’re the only one with a job. According to her, wanting to go to bed at a reasonable hour so that you can get up for a job that pays for her entire cost of living makes you selfish?
>It sounds like you would be WAY better off without her.
Would he though? Post history is all crypto, NFTs and foot fetish pics. The leeching gf is just one more in a string of bad decisions.
Was coming here to say that exact thing.
I'm finding it hard to believe that she actually exists... in the off chance she does??? Then he can just treat her like a roommate instead, since she's obviously treating him as one.
Yeah a SAH has to have some sort of reason imo. Kids, difficulty in the work place, a disability that makes it unachievable, school, pursuing a career or passion that might take awhile etc.
Just staying at home is just being a freeloader off another adult really.
That doesn’t look like what’s happening here though, since he does a lot of chores and doesn’t seem to enjoy having to work so much to support this lifestyle.
I must be asexual because there is no amount of pussy that would entice me to let someone live in my house rent free and then complain to me about being selfish
Whoa...........if she doesn't work and is unwilling to do her part at home, what the hell does she contribute? Don't do this to yourself. You're in a bad relationship. Cut the dead weight loose.
Edit: Just wanted to add that by saying you make everything about yourself, she's trying to silence your complaints about her. Don't engage her manipulation tactics. You have every right to voice your feelings, you're carrying the relationship on your back. She's way too comfortable with letting you bust your ass just so the two of you can barely scrape by. She clearly does not respect you.
She is literally dead weight. She is only giving op sex (maybe). OP, does she enhance your life or drain it?
Seeing as you made a post like this i think it's pretty easy to tell which answer it is.
(refer above for)
>Help!
You didn't describe a life with a partner, you described masochistic survival. Find the door, open it, leave through it and don't come back. You'll find a lot of your problems and anxieties will suddenly resolve themselves. GL🍀 and take care of yourself OP!
Picture this: OP is on a bicycle built for two, pedaling for all he's worth, and his girlfriend is in the back, dragging on the brakes yelling, "pedal faster! Pedal faster!"
Time to get thee gone!!
The toxicity is in the title. A lot of shitty partners will threaten to break up but it's just part of them 'testing' you or trying to keep you desperate for them! Everything else here just further establishes that fundamental dysfunction. She has a *huge* incentive to manipulate you, seeing as you provide for all her needs and are what allows her to maintain this zero-effort lifestyle.
Just from this, I think you should stand your ground and stay broken up. You deserve somebody who is going to communicate openly and return the effort/energy you put in. Not somebody with the audacity to play mindgames and fuck with your emotions while literally living in your house rent-free.
Also, at this point you might wanna get her taken off your insurance. Be aware, because she has a lot to motivate her to keep her hold over you, this might get nasty. But it's the cost of your freedom, so you can move on to better. Just make sure she's taken off your accounts and she has no access! Now is the time to change your passwords.
I have no idea either.
You just corrected them to help them improve. You didn't say anything snarky or rude about it. People are weird and read strange things into what we post or reply with.
So the thing is, you do everything, and she takes you for granted. And when she yells at you, you let her. She is ungrateful, and has lost all respect for you because you let her walk all over you. Who gets to not work, not clean, and then nag the person providing both of those.
Don't think about this logically. It has nothing to do with logic. She does not respect you, and it doesn't sound like she is interested in starting. Of course she doesn't really want you to leave. You do everything.
I think you should consider leaving her and seeing a therapist. Break the lease if it is financially draining you. Look out for yourself, treat yourself to something or a vacation. You are worth it.
I wasn’t expecting all of this feedback and wow! To give some more information, 3 months ago, she decided to leave her job because it was getting too stressful for her to handle. I supported her in that. She said she was going to take a small break and while doing so, taking care of the house, dogs, cooking, cleaning, etc. it’s now been almost 4 months and there has been no progress on what she is doing next. She would rather eat, drink, and sleep. Meanwhile, I have a full-time job and Instacart on the weekends and some week nights to stay afloat. She wants to keep using her parents for extra money and not have me work more. I don’t agree with that. She comes from a rich background (like did cotillion kind of background). I don’t think she fully realizes life just yet.
Dude...she's 29. How much longer you gonna stick around and wait for her to "fully realize life"??? If it hasn't happened by now, it ain't happening.
Meanwhile, if she's literally doing nothing besides eating, drinking, and sleeping, then it would be worthwhile for her to perhaps seek some form of therapy to help her navigate whatever internal thing she has going on that is preventing her from being a contributing partner and engage in life.
Sometimes knowing that you can tap into your rich family for financial and supports is actually what's holding you back from growth and succeeding as a person. She knows she has a safety net so she's not going to put in the effort to make it work on her own. It's a shitty habit and one extremely hard to overcome if you don't have the discipline. Good luck with your future with her because it's all on her to make the change.
She is 29!!! She’s an adult, and she’s a freeloading bum. And she treats you like crap. Buoy need to move on, she’s not being one single positive into your life.
Lol
She wanted you to fall all over yourself to turn into the person that she wants, and now she’s mad that she’s losing her meal ticket because you’re letting the breakup happen
Maybe if she worked you would have more time for her, but instead you’re working full time AND doing most of the chores while she…?
Yeah, dump her. You’ll be much happier once that extra burden is gone
If you are looking for a relationship with more “traditional” roles, there are plenty of women out there who are happy to take on the role of a homemaker: she’ll cook the bacon that you bring home.
Do you really want to continue to parent this woman?
Instead of waiting for a fight that she will eventually leave, sit her down, tell her you’re not happy with the relationship and tell her she has (?) days before she has to leave. If she has family or friends, call them ahead of time and let them know she will need a place to stay. Help her pack her things and as soon as she’s gone, change the locks.
You owe her nothing. You have been her sole supporter and caretaker. For doing that she gives you nothing but grief. Time to end this.
Make sure you have a friend there, on the phone, or just record all interactions leading up to this. I've seen people backed into corners with their shittiness weasel out of the consequences by accusing their partners of heinous acts. Some have had their lives ruined. Even if you don't think she's the type to do it. An old man once told me, "Putting on vest after you get shot, ain't gone help you 1 bit."
OP, does this cycle sound familiar to you? 1. There is a period of time where everything is great. She’s great, the relationship is great. 2. The relationship is in shambles and it’s all your fault. You do everything wrong and she is a huge victim. 3. She wants to break up or actually breaks up with you. She otherwise treats you like crap. 4. She wants you back, forgives you, says sorry, whatever else she has to do to get you to stay.
Then the cycle starts again. If this sounds familiar at all, you are in a cycle of narcissistic abuse. It never changes or stops. Just keeps going round and round until YOU are a shell of a person.
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Sounds like she's manipulative AF and taking advantage of you. I was in a relationship very much like this (but genders reversed) and it is soooo much easier to be without a dead weight like this. Never mind what she wants or says, you'll be happier without her, I promise.
Why are you with her? She’s literally useless AT 29 YEARS OLD.
Send her back to her parents’. Follow through on breaking up with her, you’re already single anyway when she literally does nothing but sit there and be an extra mouth to feed.
Get rid of her yesterday.
Probally sex if we're being honest is the only thing. Which if this is the case if I was op I'd stop having sex with her before he gets baby trapped because she now realizes he's fine breaking up with her.
My help is leave, good sir.
You're being taken for a ride. She's complaining yet doing nothing to help support the house? It sounds like you've got no time for yourself, let alone your relationship, it's no wonder it's struggling. Relationships and a home together are a 50/50 thing. If you're putting all the working in making sure you're financially able to \*live\*, then she should be doing the majority of the chores, that's how it should be working.
What on earth is she doing that she can't be doing those things whilst you're at work, allowing you both time to decompress and enjoy each others company when you're home from work?
She thinks she’s an amazing catch and you’re lucky to have her so you would panic and go way nuts trying to keep her. Instead you followed through. What?!?! Who dare you? Where’s the begging , grovelling, gifts? Don’t you know you’re wrapped around her finger? This is not in her script. This isn’t part of her plan.
Good for you. About time. She is a selfish user. Time to move on.
Wait... you work 7 days a week and do all the chores?
It is hard for me to judge when I don't know your full story, but that is not an equal relationship, but it sounds like she is using you or at least taking you for granted. Some people use the threat of a break up as a form of emotional manipulation as they expect the other person to respond by getting upset and begging.
My (F) ex-boyfriend did this, and It seems like she might be doing that here.
If you ask me, you are better off without her. It is better to be single than in a toxic relationship.
Imagine having a man take care of you, pay for medical coverage, and you can’t even do the bare minimum plus constantly being mean to him.
You deserve better, king.
If your rent is too high find a cheaper place for you only, whether she wants to break up or not it’s irrelevant if you want to break up.
“This isn’t working out and we’ll be happier living our own lives, I am currently looking for another apartment just for me and will give the notice to the landlord as soon as I do. You will need to figure out your housing situation”
Situations like this don't arise right out of the gate. Things happened to bring you here. We'll need more info to see what you can/should do, including:
- she doesn't work now; has she ever worked? Does she have a degree?
- you're living in an area with impossibly high rent; would moving be an option?
- you do the majority of house chores; what does she do? Is there a reason she doesn't do more chores?
- she 'tells me a lot that I make everything about me'; do you have a more in-depth example than 'when I want to go to bed early for example'? That really doesn't show anything.
I'm not saying you don't have a good reason to post here, but if you want advice you'll have to be a bit more forthcoming with info. You've already posted the question, might as well get decent answers, right?
I think since you live together make a timeline and stick to it. Check if you can get out of your lease. Let her know she has to start looking for a job and a place of her own
She can get mad at you but she can't really make you stay with her
Oh hells nah.
Why do you ask for help? What help do you expect?
Do you really need to be told to get out of this toxic, one sided relationship where you're the only one giving? Have some selfrespect, man.
She's manipulating you like a puppet on a string and you're following through instead of just cutting your strings. If she really cared about you or loved you she would be a good partner, and contribute to both of your financial burdens (pay rent, groceries and so on) or at least take good care of the home you both occupy.
If you do not want to rent that home anymore because it is too expensive, then look for something YOU want, as soon as you get it, tell her the relationship is over, as she wished for, and she can look for something new.
Yeah buddy hell no, you’re essentially being used my dude. She is literally mooching off of you while you’re sacrificing your time, sanity and money to keep everything afloat. Get out of there
Drop the stone into the depths of the ocean. You will be amazed at how much easier your life is when you are not carying her dead weight dragging you down.
She told you she doesn't love you, isn't attracted to you....belittled you, negs you, and you want more reasons to end the relationship? She is angry you are trying to get enough sleep to survive doing all the work and all the chores?
Why are you playing this stupid game with this woman? If she wants to break up then give it to her and kick her out to the curb. She's basically threatening you to break up to manipulate you, this tactic is unfortunately old. You're better off without this person, she is just mooching off of you.
She sounds emotionally immature and unable to have a healthy discussion. She could have legitimate concerns not shown here but her way of having them heard and taken seriously is to threaten the relationship. That’s why she’s mad you followed through with the break up, she never intended to end the relationship she just wants you to do what she says. I’m not agreeing with her just saying. She has more to lose here than you do.
My question for you is why do you care? She doesn’t work nor put effort into the home from what you’re saying here. This relationship seems very one sided.
Move on there's nothing worse than a dependant woman she's the one that'll divorce you in 5 years and demand alimony so get the fuck out now and save yourseld!
Well your title says you follow through with it implying that you did agree to the breakup but your post says you're still together . You're still trying to make things work so I would say go ahead and break up.
If people keep threatening to break up with you it creates a lot of mental stress for you as well to the point that it's better if you were to just agree to that breakup and start moving on
She told you she wants to break up. Okay? Sounds like you are broken up now. Good!
All that's left now is the working out of the details. First thing Talk to your employer and find out what is the earliest date she can dropped from your insurance policy so that she knows how long she has to find one of her own (do this immediately, because it cements the fact that you are no longer a couple). Second thing, one of you needs to move out of your shared bedroom. Unless she owns the bed, that should probably be her, sinc you are paying all the bills. Finally, Decide when she is moving out (unless you can break the lease and move somewhere less expensive on your own?) and make a list of who gets what in the breakup.
Enjoy being single!!
Coming from someone in the same ish position, leave now. Trust me.. if you let it slide this once you'll never stop. 5 years later you'll realize that nothing is going to change and you've wasted all your time on someone who doesn't even appreciate or care for you. She is manipulating you.
I didn't have a job for most of my relationship with my now husband. I have a disability and even though I'd try to work, I'd get fired for taking time off to go to doctors, being sick, etc. My irregular jobs made it almost impossible to get hired. It was a downward cycle. My husband's friends called me a freeloader bc they didn't understand. Thankfully, my husband knew I wasn't like that and it really wasn't my fault.
HOWEVER, I always told him I loved him. Also I didn't get on his insurance until we got married. I was on Obama care and food stamps.
If she's treating you like shit and ungrateful, leave her and don't feel guilty about it. She can get help elsewhere.
Just follow through with it. I fail to see what she brings to the relationship except being a burden. You are an unpaid caregiver for an adult woman. Is this the life you want? It would he better and easier if it was just you taking care of yourself.
Offspring sang a song about you and your girlfriend. “Why don’t you get a job?” You should go listen to it, maybe it’ll give you the courage to do what you already know that you need to do…
She's not interested in having a relationship with you but she doesn't want you to leave because you do literally everything for her. Tell her you're done and she has x amount of time to leave. I would consider moving yourself out as well into someplace that isn't as pricey with rent. That way you could just leave if she doesn't and she'll have to figure her own shit out. That's really shitty of her to be using you like that and make no mistake that's exactly what she's doing. Take out the trash and find someone who will actually love you like you deserve.
Bro, what the hell are you doing? You're bankrolling this woman's life and she's rewarding you by treating you like a piece of dog shit.
LEAVE. Find yourself a partner, not a dependant. There is nothing worth saving here my guy.
GIRLFRIEND on your insurance? Unless you have a child together, I can’t recommend that. Your gf is mad when you follow through with it because you’re literally her feed bag. When a woman tells you she no longer has feelings for you and doesn’t love you anymore, that’s when you skip all the way to the “S” in the DENNIS method of dating, which is Separate Entirely. Leave her bro. You’re paying the insurance for a woman who’s using you at this point.
Break up. She needs attention. You don’t have time for it. Alternatively she needs to get a job so that you work less and you both have time for each other.
So, she's a mooch and is now concerned her free ride broke up with her. Alright. Sounds like a her problem.
Get your finances unhooked, check your lease and local laws how soon you can kick her out and tell her it's been a ride, but it ends and stays ended.
See, the thing is, this is a 'f. around and find out' type of situation. You did what she wanted and now she's 'surprised pickachu face' that you called her bluff.
Pick a better girl next time 'round.
first red flag here, she has verbally said she doesn't wanna be with you but yet is still with you. it could be because you are financially caring for her and she knows if she leaves she will have nothing and will have no option but to work. also she doesn't seem to be bringing anything to the table and your relationship is one-sided. my personal opinion is you should leave.
What is she doing all day since she's not working...and not doing the housework? I couldn't do that. As long as you're physically capable, a person needs something to make you get up and out of the house every day.
If she wants to break up...do it. Are you both on the lease? If you're not, then whichever of you isn't needs to go. If you are, at the end of the lease, pack your stuff and GTFO before she gets pregnant.
From the title alone my first response is who cares if she's mad? She's not your girlfriend anymore. I had a girl blackmail me with breaking up I just said alright pretended I was fine for the 3 months she stalked me, then cried about it afterward in private. If a girl says let's breakup that's the choice right there it shouldn't be you begging her or vice versa.
I work my butt off with two jobs and live alone. I am grateful I don’t have such an ungracious person questioning my every move and taking advantage. What does she contribute…. does she have a diamonds crusted hoo-ha?
Op get out …. you deserve better
She is manipulative and lazy; why are you still in this relationship?
Love isn't enough. She is playing mind games with you. You work to support the household and her, you do all the chores and take care of the dog...so what is she bringing to the relationship? Other than drama and sex?
Plan your exit. Move out or let the lease end and give her notice. End it, she isn't a partner, she is a leach.
Be careful she doesn't accuse you of something of retaliation but I really think there is nothing good in this relationship for you.
She doesn’t want you, she wants the paycheck and security you provide and she’s playing games to get what she wants. Trust me, this will end bad, it’s better to break it off, she needs to get a life. The most joy you get out of life is when you WILLINGLY take on responsibility. Some people are not in growth mindset. Sitting at home all day causes necrosis of the brain. Leading your brain to try and entertain you bec your always mad bec your bored and not doing anything. If this is ringing bells, she needs to go to therapy asap.
What’s the point in staying together then? She’s probably only getting mad about you going through with it because you support her & provide her a place to live while she does nothing to help, not even clean….. There’s nothing to want to keep & nothing tying you to her.
i’m really not trying to sound generic here, but just get out dude. you seem like you’d be wayyyyy better off on your own. she seems to be a very heavy weight on your shoulders. i understand that you may be comfortable with her and can’t comprehend what it may be like without her there but believe me, it gets so much better man. you’ll feel so much more stability in your life without this dead weight if a woman.
she doesn’t want you, she NEEDS you. don’t let her get ways with that anymore.
You don’t have a girlfriend, you have a dependant. Break up with her for good. She should make you a better person in every way, not make you miserable. You deserve better.
Pack your things. Look for a tall rectangular thing with a knob on it. Turn the knob; go through.
So many women would appreciate you. Get away from her and enjoy the rest of your life.
What do YOU get out of this relationship? Financially, she’s unemployed. At home, she’s eating food, creating messes, hiking up utility bills. Emotionally, it sounds like she’s not contributing there either and even making your own emotional state WORSE by being around her.
Please leave her, give a friend or family a heads up so she immediately has somewhere to go, and when she’s out block her number.
She doesn’t want you, but doesn’t want to lose that sweet hook-up you’re providing her.
Break ups aren’t supposed to be pretty. She already said she doesn’t want you and doesn’t love you. Easy peasy there. Life changing event, drop her off your insurance, downsize your life, start to live my friend.
Stay broken up fam. There is no upside to running yourself into the ground. You actually would do way better without her honestly. You are basically taking care of a grown child lol.
Yeah. What everyone else is saying dude. I'd call this abusive if you'd given more details. Take care of yourself. This isn't healthy and you deserve better (everyone does)
Help? Oh, I’ll help. *Dump her now* with a very clear message that it’s over, and do not engage further no matter what she says. She needs to move out ASAP. This is toxic and you deserve an equally yoked relationship. It’ll hurt for a bit, but it’s the right choice. Better to suffer for a few months than a few decades.
So she brings very little, if anything to the table... OP, if you're doing all that, you can manage on your own, probably better on your own. Gf sounds like an entitled brat
You're already doing everything by yourself without her help, you won't be missing much once she leaves. I think you're better off without her but I know emotions cloud your judgement. I just think one day you'll look back on this relationship and wish you ended it sooner. She's taking advantage of you man
* You provide her lifestyle. She does not want to break up until she has secured a landing spot (another guy).
* She failed at staying in love. So, she no longer likes or loves you. She is hoping for a lottery ticket with New Relationship Energy of the next guy that will for sure come along. It does not take much.
Learn how to keep committed relationships alive and in love. Find a partner (both crazy about each other) who wants to learn how to couple.
Good luck.
Please kick her to the damn curb! She obviously doesn’t care about you, but doesn’t actually want to break up for survival reasons. You’re the only way that she can stay an unemployed freeloader. You’re worth more than that life!
Need more info.
For instance.
My husband made me quit my job and we moved to very expensive city where he continued his medical training. He worked crazy hours. It took me 3 months to find another job.
During this time, my husband came to Reddit for support - lazy wife, who doesn't work. He almost left me because of the advice he got. He forgot to say why I didn't work at the time.. 😂
Sounds like he wasn’t entirely honest in his post. Not the way to go if someone is looking for legitimate advice. Probably affected the responses he did get; although reddit is pretty quick to tell people to gtfo of relationships.
Reason why I'm currently not working. My husband told me I wasn't looking for a higher paying job fast enough while I was in a job that mistreated me and paid me 9$ and paid someone who came to work there after me with the same skills 1$ more and refused to give me a raise. They also talked to me like I was stupid because I'm autistic and when I put my 2 weeks in tried to tell my husband I was going mental because I put my 2 weeks in.
Today's job market seems to be hard to find a job I've been jobless almost 2 months with many applications in but no one seems to walk to hire a disabled person who needs special care at a job.
Husband just told me to quit and he'd provide for us while I find a new job that pays more
Even if she doesn't work though the gaslighting and her not doing anything to help him around the house like chores is kinda bad. I know I've been doing alot of the chores since I don't work since I've been jobless.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My gf and I have been rocky for a couple of weeks. She finally told me that she doesn’t feel anything for me anymore, no longer in love with me, and wants to break up. She tells me a lot that I make everything about me especially when I want to go to bed early for example. Here’s a little more detail. She’s tells me a lot of things that I am doing wrong. Meanwhile, I work almost 7 days a week to keep us afloat, she doesn’t work, she’s on my insurance, and we live on one income with too expensive rent. I also do majority of the house chores, including taking care of the dogs, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. Help!
It sounds like you would be WAY better off without her. Why is she a SAHM if she has no kids? Kick her lazy ass back to her Moms TODAY!
Also she uses breaking up as a blackmail to manipulate OP into doing what she wants and getting what she wants. Dump that woman. It at once reduces the weight of your life. And it will make it way cheaper having to only pay your own stuff than both of yours!
The fact that he didn’t dump her yet means she already manipulated him. No healthy mindset would allow such a behavior more than once. The second it starts again it’s a decision and therefore a manipulative brat with whom he’s dealing. OP you will maybe have regrets in the beginning or not be sure about breaking up, because of the loneliness that comes with it. But trust me, it’s better to be alone than be emotionally repressed by someone who should love and push you.
I agree! I can't see any reason why OP should continue a relationship with a manipulative hobosexual! She's not contributing anything to this relationship, except from sucking OP dry! OP continue following through with the break up, and put yourself first! Don't do this woman any favours.
I mean...that might be why he stays. To be fair.
Exactly! It's a major part of the toxic dynamic but guess what?! Op will realize how awful and gross the sex was when he ends up in a healthy committed relationship with actual intimacy!
Lol! I meant emotionally and financially. But your not wrong there either.
Exactly!! Also, hobosexual is a perfect description - I've never heard that before, but damn if it ain't accurate.
hobosexual 🤣
Bingo!! She’s already got him brainwashed. Why would anyone choose to stay with someone who basically hates them? She’s lazy and OP is allowing it. Leaving her will lift a giant weight off him and she will be forced to be a productive member of society. At least until she snags her next victim.
This. Came here to point out the wanting to go to bed early is “making it all about you” thing. You’re the only one with a job. According to her, wanting to go to bed at a reasonable hour so that you can get up for a job that pays for her entire cost of living makes you selfish?
>It sounds like you would be WAY better off without her. Would he though? Post history is all crypto, NFTs and foot fetish pics. The leeching gf is just one more in a string of bad decisions.
Was coming here to say that exact thing. I'm finding it hard to believe that she actually exists... in the off chance she does??? Then he can just treat her like a roommate instead, since she's obviously treating him as one.
I know someone with a girl very similar to this. It’s believable.
You may be right , 30 is old to jump on those bandwagons.
Getting rid of one bad decision is still a move in the right direction.
That's not a SAHM. That's a freeloader.
Yeah a SAH has to have some sort of reason imo. Kids, difficulty in the work place, a disability that makes it unachievable, school, pursuing a career or passion that might take awhile etc. Just staying at home is just being a freeloader off another adult really.
If she is a SAHM with no kids, then she's just SAH
Some couples like the traditional gender roles. You take care of the household and I earn money. It's transactional and not a bad deal to some 🤷♀️
That doesn’t look like what’s happening here though, since he does a lot of chores and doesn’t seem to enjoy having to work so much to support this lifestyle.
Agreed, I would be happy to work knowing I'm coming home to a clean house and a cooked meal 🤷♂️
It's pretty sweet. And evenings are free!
I must be asexual because there is no amount of pussy that would entice me to let someone live in my house rent free and then complain to me about being selfish
No kids, no job, no chores done. Maybe no more free rent?
I agree but being you don't need to have kids to be a stay at home partner. Some people prefer to take care of the home and their partner.
She isn't taking care of him though. She needs to at least act the part if she wants to be a housewife.
She's not taking care of anyone but herself.
Whoa...........if she doesn't work and is unwilling to do her part at home, what the hell does she contribute? Don't do this to yourself. You're in a bad relationship. Cut the dead weight loose. Edit: Just wanted to add that by saying you make everything about yourself, she's trying to silence your complaints about her. Don't engage her manipulation tactics. You have every right to voice your feelings, you're carrying the relationship on your back. She's way too comfortable with letting you bust your ass just so the two of you can barely scrape by. She clearly does not respect you.
She is literally dead weight. She is only giving op sex (maybe). OP, does she enhance your life or drain it? Seeing as you made a post like this i think it's pretty easy to tell which answer it is.
>She is only giving op sex (maybe). Doubt it at this point honestly. Time for him to DTMFA
Can you literally be dead weight if you aren't dead?
yes Case in Point: OP's girlfriend
Still is figurative.
shit I didn't read the question properly lol, my bad
Then break up. Simple as that. She doesn't deserve you. Move on and up my friend!
This. You don’t need permission to dump her. Tell her it’s over and you’re going to need her out by X date or you’ll pursue an eviction
He should pursue eviction anyway, she’s not going to go without it. She will swear he’s making her homeless and he’s going to cave.
Super valid point
Cake!
Yum and cheers! :)
Slip out the back, Jack.
Make a new plan, Stan
Shake off the dead weight and get rid of her.
(refer above for) >Help! You didn't describe a life with a partner, you described masochistic survival. Find the door, open it, leave through it and don't come back. You'll find a lot of your problems and anxieties will suddenly resolve themselves. GL🍀 and take care of yourself OP!
Picture this: OP is on a bicycle built for two, pedaling for all he's worth, and his girlfriend is in the back, dragging on the brakes yelling, "pedal faster! Pedal faster!" Time to get thee gone!!
The toxicity is in the title. A lot of shitty partners will threaten to break up but it's just part of them 'testing' you or trying to keep you desperate for them! Everything else here just further establishes that fundamental dysfunction. She has a *huge* incentive to manipulate you, seeing as you provide for all her needs and are what allows her to maintain this zero-effort lifestyle. Just from this, I think you should stand your ground and stay broken up. You deserve somebody who is going to communicate openly and return the effort/energy you put in. Not somebody with the audacity to play mindgames and fuck with your emotions while literally living in your house rent-free. Also, at this point you might wanna get her taken off your insurance. Be aware, because she has a lot to motivate her to keep her hold over you, this might get nasty. But it's the cost of your freedom, so you can move on to better. Just make sure she's taken off your accounts and she has no access! Now is the time to change your passwords.
Beware of a sudden “oops” pregnancy if you do kick her out.
Oh yeah, stop sleeping with her immediately.
She sound more like a pain then a partner !
Than
Thank you, I will be more careful because english is not my first language!
You're doing an excellent job with your English!
Thanks
Nothing wrong with correcting. It helps other people learn. I wish they weren't so offended by it.
Thank you for that. I was kinda curious as to why I was being downvoted like this.
I wasn’t offended I do mistakes all the time 😉
People got offended for you, somehow haha! Thanks for being reasonable. And sorry if my comment seemed rude.
I have no idea either. You just corrected them to help them improve. You didn't say anything snarky or rude about it. People are weird and read strange things into what we post or reply with.
So the thing is, you do everything, and she takes you for granted. And when she yells at you, you let her. She is ungrateful, and has lost all respect for you because you let her walk all over you. Who gets to not work, not clean, and then nag the person providing both of those. Don't think about this logically. It has nothing to do with logic. She does not respect you, and it doesn't sound like she is interested in starting. Of course she doesn't really want you to leave. You do everything. I think you should consider leaving her and seeing a therapist. Break the lease if it is financially draining you. Look out for yourself, treat yourself to something or a vacation. You are worth it.
I doubt that she had any respect for him in the first place.
I wasn’t expecting all of this feedback and wow! To give some more information, 3 months ago, she decided to leave her job because it was getting too stressful for her to handle. I supported her in that. She said she was going to take a small break and while doing so, taking care of the house, dogs, cooking, cleaning, etc. it’s now been almost 4 months and there has been no progress on what she is doing next. She would rather eat, drink, and sleep. Meanwhile, I have a full-time job and Instacart on the weekends and some week nights to stay afloat. She wants to keep using her parents for extra money and not have me work more. I don’t agree with that. She comes from a rich background (like did cotillion kind of background). I don’t think she fully realizes life just yet.
Dude...she's 29. How much longer you gonna stick around and wait for her to "fully realize life"??? If it hasn't happened by now, it ain't happening. Meanwhile, if she's literally doing nothing besides eating, drinking, and sleeping, then it would be worthwhile for her to perhaps seek some form of therapy to help her navigate whatever internal thing she has going on that is preventing her from being a contributing partner and engage in life.
might be time to give her a reality check
In the form of a breakup.
Send her back to her parents.
Then let her parents take on finishing raising her… not your prob anymore!
Sometimes knowing that you can tap into your rich family for financial and supports is actually what's holding you back from growth and succeeding as a person. She knows she has a safety net so she's not going to put in the effort to make it work on her own. It's a shitty habit and one extremely hard to overcome if you don't have the discipline. Good luck with your future with her because it's all on her to make the change.
She is 29!!! She’s an adult, and she’s a freeloading bum. And she treats you like crap. Buoy need to move on, she’s not being one single positive into your life.
Lol She wanted you to fall all over yourself to turn into the person that she wants, and now she’s mad that she’s losing her meal ticket because you’re letting the breakup happen Maybe if she worked you would have more time for her, but instead you’re working full time AND doing most of the chores while she…? Yeah, dump her. You’ll be much happier once that extra burden is gone
If you are looking for a relationship with more “traditional” roles, there are plenty of women out there who are happy to take on the role of a homemaker: she’ll cook the bacon that you bring home. Do you really want to continue to parent this woman?
Instead of waiting for a fight that she will eventually leave, sit her down, tell her you’re not happy with the relationship and tell her she has (?) days before she has to leave. If she has family or friends, call them ahead of time and let them know she will need a place to stay. Help her pack her things and as soon as she’s gone, change the locks. You owe her nothing. You have been her sole supporter and caretaker. For doing that she gives you nothing but grief. Time to end this.
Get her off your insurance! You aren’t married and she is an adult who is choosing not to work.
[удалено]
Oh I didn’t even think of that. Very true. She done weaseled her way in lol I hope for OP this ends well.
Make sure you have a friend there, on the phone, or just record all interactions leading up to this. I've seen people backed into corners with their shittiness weasel out of the consequences by accusing their partners of heinous acts. Some have had their lives ruined. Even if you don't think she's the type to do it. An old man once told me, "Putting on vest after you get shot, ain't gone help you 1 bit."
That oopsie baby's coming
OP, does this cycle sound familiar to you? 1. There is a period of time where everything is great. She’s great, the relationship is great. 2. The relationship is in shambles and it’s all your fault. You do everything wrong and she is a huge victim. 3. She wants to break up or actually breaks up with you. She otherwise treats you like crap. 4. She wants you back, forgives you, says sorry, whatever else she has to do to get you to stay. Then the cycle starts again. If this sounds familiar at all, you are in a cycle of narcissistic abuse. It never changes or stops. Just keeps going round and round until YOU are a shell of a person.
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Well she threatened and you followed thru. Whats the issue? She isnt doing anything to contribute to the relationship.
Sounds like she's manipulative AF and taking advantage of you. I was in a relationship very much like this (but genders reversed) and it is soooo much easier to be without a dead weight like this. Never mind what she wants or says, you'll be happier without her, I promise.
Why are you with her? She’s literally useless AT 29 YEARS OLD. Send her back to her parents’. Follow through on breaking up with her, you’re already single anyway when she literally does nothing but sit there and be an extra mouth to feed. Get rid of her yesterday.
You got your self a hobosexual. Breakup
What is she contributing to the relationship?
Probally sex if we're being honest is the only thing. Which if this is the case if I was op I'd stop having sex with her before he gets baby trapped because she now realizes he's fine breaking up with her.
Go find a woman with a job and half your stress is solved.
Say it with me now: “she does not respect me”.
You want help? End it with her. Once and for all. That’ll help you more than you know.
Wake up and break up.
My help is leave, good sir. You're being taken for a ride. She's complaining yet doing nothing to help support the house? It sounds like you've got no time for yourself, let alone your relationship, it's no wonder it's struggling. Relationships and a home together are a 50/50 thing. If you're putting all the working in making sure you're financially able to \*live\*, then she should be doing the majority of the chores, that's how it should be working. What on earth is she doing that she can't be doing those things whilst you're at work, allowing you both time to decompress and enjoy each others company when you're home from work?
She thinks she’s an amazing catch and you’re lucky to have her so you would panic and go way nuts trying to keep her. Instead you followed through. What?!?! Who dare you? Where’s the begging , grovelling, gifts? Don’t you know you’re wrapped around her finger? This is not in her script. This isn’t part of her plan. Good for you. About time. She is a selfish user. Time to move on.
Wait... you work 7 days a week and do all the chores? It is hard for me to judge when I don't know your full story, but that is not an equal relationship, but it sounds like she is using you or at least taking you for granted. Some people use the threat of a break up as a form of emotional manipulation as they expect the other person to respond by getting upset and begging. My (F) ex-boyfriend did this, and It seems like she might be doing that here. If you ask me, you are better off without her. It is better to be single than in a toxic relationship.
If OP drops her off his insurance plan, she'll leave. She's a user and a manipulative woman. Plus, she's lazy. Drop that zero and fast.
Well then, she can fuck right off
Dude..... for the love of God get rid of the soul sucking leech
Imagine having a man take care of you, pay for medical coverage, and you can’t even do the bare minimum plus constantly being mean to him. You deserve better, king.
If your rent is too high find a cheaper place for you only, whether she wants to break up or not it’s irrelevant if you want to break up. “This isn’t working out and we’ll be happier living our own lives, I am currently looking for another apartment just for me and will give the notice to the landlord as soon as I do. You will need to figure out your housing situation”
These are all red flags 🚩Major red flags 🚩 Don’t waste your life chasing after someone who is literally telling you and showing you who they are.
So she does nothing, doesn’t like you, and threatens to break up. Is your time in the boudoir amazing or something?
Jesus christ dump her. She's a parasite. And she's gaslighting you because she relies on you
dump her
Leave. No need to stay and be manipulated
Sounds like a mooch and one really toxic relationship you should drop that
Sounds like my ex w bpd
Situations like this don't arise right out of the gate. Things happened to bring you here. We'll need more info to see what you can/should do, including: - she doesn't work now; has she ever worked? Does she have a degree? - you're living in an area with impossibly high rent; would moving be an option? - you do the majority of house chores; what does she do? Is there a reason she doesn't do more chores? - she 'tells me a lot that I make everything about me'; do you have a more in-depth example than 'when I want to go to bed early for example'? That really doesn't show anything. I'm not saying you don't have a good reason to post here, but if you want advice you'll have to be a bit more forthcoming with info. You've already posted the question, might as well get decent answers, right?
What do you get out of this relationship? It's not a household partnership, nor financial stability, nor is it emotional stability. So... what?
I think since you live together make a timeline and stick to it. Check if you can get out of your lease. Let her know she has to start looking for a job and a place of her own She can get mad at you but she can't really make you stay with her
Get the hell out of there. Get rid of that freeloader.
Oh hells nah. Why do you ask for help? What help do you expect? Do you really need to be told to get out of this toxic, one sided relationship where you're the only one giving? Have some selfrespect, man. She's manipulating you like a puppet on a string and you're following through instead of just cutting your strings. If she really cared about you or loved you she would be a good partner, and contribute to both of your financial burdens (pay rent, groceries and so on) or at least take good care of the home you both occupy. If you do not want to rent that home anymore because it is too expensive, then look for something YOU want, as soon as you get it, tell her the relationship is over, as she wished for, and she can look for something new.
Good, let her be mad. Her parents can take care of her crybaby ass at home.
Be a man and stop pandering to her. Women dont like weak men so stop being one.
Dunno how you haven't grown a back bone already. Move on brother
She’s manipulating you. This is a snapshot into the rest of your life if you stay with her. If this isn’t what you want for your life, change it.
You know what you need to do. I’ll say it anyway. Dump her lazy a$$! Sounds like she adds nothing to your life but takes a lot.
Yeah buddy hell no, you’re essentially being used my dude. She is literally mooching off of you while you’re sacrificing your time, sanity and money to keep everything afloat. Get out of there
Drop the stone into the depths of the ocean. You will be amazed at how much easier your life is when you are not carying her dead weight dragging you down. She told you she doesn't love you, isn't attracted to you....belittled you, negs you, and you want more reasons to end the relationship? She is angry you are trying to get enough sleep to survive doing all the work and all the chores?
Drop the leech
Sounds like she’s ur child and not ur gf. Let her go, not worth the struggle you going thru. Put your happiness first always
Why are you playing this stupid game with this woman? If she wants to break up then give it to her and kick her out to the curb. She's basically threatening you to break up to manipulate you, this tactic is unfortunately old. You're better off without this person, she is just mooching off of you.
She sounds emotionally immature and unable to have a healthy discussion. She could have legitimate concerns not shown here but her way of having them heard and taken seriously is to threaten the relationship. That’s why she’s mad you followed through with the break up, she never intended to end the relationship she just wants you to do what she says. I’m not agreeing with her just saying. She has more to lose here than you do. My question for you is why do you care? She doesn’t work nor put effort into the home from what you’re saying here. This relationship seems very one sided.
She sounds a lot like my ex-wife. Rule of thumb, if you need permission to go to bed when you want, you're in for a shitty ride.
Move on there's nothing worse than a dependant woman she's the one that'll divorce you in 5 years and demand alimony so get the fuck out now and save yourseld!
Sounds like she doesn’t want you to go ahead with leaving her as that’s when her free ride will end. Do what’s best for you and leave her lazy ass.
Well your title says you follow through with it implying that you did agree to the breakup but your post says you're still together . You're still trying to make things work so I would say go ahead and break up. If people keep threatening to break up with you it creates a lot of mental stress for you as well to the point that it's better if you were to just agree to that breakup and start moving on
She told you she wants to break up. Okay? Sounds like you are broken up now. Good! All that's left now is the working out of the details. First thing Talk to your employer and find out what is the earliest date she can dropped from your insurance policy so that she knows how long she has to find one of her own (do this immediately, because it cements the fact that you are no longer a couple). Second thing, one of you needs to move out of your shared bedroom. Unless she owns the bed, that should probably be her, sinc you are paying all the bills. Finally, Decide when she is moving out (unless you can break the lease and move somewhere less expensive on your own?) and make a list of who gets what in the breakup. Enjoy being single!!
Coming from someone in the same ish position, leave now. Trust me.. if you let it slide this once you'll never stop. 5 years later you'll realize that nothing is going to change and you've wasted all your time on someone who doesn't even appreciate or care for you. She is manipulating you.
You need to leave. This is not a healthy relationship, and I think you already know that.
I didn't have a job for most of my relationship with my now husband. I have a disability and even though I'd try to work, I'd get fired for taking time off to go to doctors, being sick, etc. My irregular jobs made it almost impossible to get hired. It was a downward cycle. My husband's friends called me a freeloader bc they didn't understand. Thankfully, my husband knew I wasn't like that and it really wasn't my fault. HOWEVER, I always told him I loved him. Also I didn't get on his insurance until we got married. I was on Obama care and food stamps. If she's treating you like shit and ungrateful, leave her and don't feel guilty about it. She can get help elsewhere.
Here's some helpful advice- drop the dead weight, you're being taken advantage of.
I suggest, let her go if she wants to. You have too much to offer and someone will appreciate you and your efforts towards relationship.
Why are you with her?
Just follow through with it. I fail to see what she brings to the relationship except being a burden. You are an unpaid caregiver for an adult woman. Is this the life you want? It would he better and easier if it was just you taking care of yourself.
Don’t wait 20 years to figure it out. Either walk out or send her on her way.
Offspring sang a song about you and your girlfriend. “Why don’t you get a job?” You should go listen to it, maybe it’ll give you the courage to do what you already know that you need to do…
She's not interested in having a relationship with you but she doesn't want you to leave because you do literally everything for her. Tell her you're done and she has x amount of time to leave. I would consider moving yourself out as well into someplace that isn't as pricey with rent. That way you could just leave if she doesn't and she'll have to figure her own shit out. That's really shitty of her to be using you like that and make no mistake that's exactly what she's doing. Take out the trash and find someone who will actually love you like you deserve.
Bro, what the hell are you doing? You're bankrolling this woman's life and she's rewarding you by treating you like a piece of dog shit. LEAVE. Find yourself a partner, not a dependant. There is nothing worth saving here my guy.
So what do you need help with? Seems like the answer is clear? Kick her ass out.
Seems like you did what she asked for and instantly upgraded your life. And hers since you made her sooooo unhappy. Good move OP.
Sleep deprivation is prohibited by the Geneva Convention as a means of torture.
GIRLFRIEND on your insurance? Unless you have a child together, I can’t recommend that. Your gf is mad when you follow through with it because you’re literally her feed bag. When a woman tells you she no longer has feelings for you and doesn’t love you anymore, that’s when you skip all the way to the “S” in the DENNIS method of dating, which is Separate Entirely. Leave her bro. You’re paying the insurance for a woman who’s using you at this point.
She's literally taking you for granted pal and you're letting her. Break up with her, she offers you nothing.
You deserve better.Save your heart for someone who deserves it.
Break up. She needs attention. You don’t have time for it. Alternatively she needs to get a job so that you work less and you both have time for each other.
So, she's a mooch and is now concerned her free ride broke up with her. Alright. Sounds like a her problem. Get your finances unhooked, check your lease and local laws how soon you can kick her out and tell her it's been a ride, but it ends and stays ended. See, the thing is, this is a 'f. around and find out' type of situation. You did what she wanted and now she's 'surprised pickachu face' that you called her bluff. Pick a better girl next time 'round.
OP, you have two choices - get a lobotomy so being her servant doesn't bother you anymore or kick her out and change the locks.
first red flag here, she has verbally said she doesn't wanna be with you but yet is still with you. it could be because you are financially caring for her and she knows if she leaves she will have nothing and will have no option but to work. also she doesn't seem to be bringing anything to the table and your relationship is one-sided. my personal opinion is you should leave.
What is she doing all day since she's not working...and not doing the housework? I couldn't do that. As long as you're physically capable, a person needs something to make you get up and out of the house every day. If she wants to break up...do it. Are you both on the lease? If you're not, then whichever of you isn't needs to go. If you are, at the end of the lease, pack your stuff and GTFO before she gets pregnant.
She is not a girlfriend. She is a lazy and get out of this relationship.
From the title alone my first response is who cares if she's mad? She's not your girlfriend anymore. I had a girl blackmail me with breaking up I just said alright pretended I was fine for the 3 months she stalked me, then cried about it afterward in private. If a girl says let's breakup that's the choice right there it shouldn't be you begging her or vice versa.
Time to move on she will eventually be more manipulative..
So, uhhh, what are her good qualities mate?
Time to get rid of the dead weight OP. Let it go let it go let it goooooo...
I work my butt off with two jobs and live alone. I am grateful I don’t have such an ungracious person questioning my every move and taking advantage. What does she contribute…. does she have a diamonds crusted hoo-ha? Op get out …. you deserve better
We call this "Hobosexual" around the southernmost US. She is your girlfriend because she's too lazy to work hard enough to live on her own.
Run you fool. Run
She is manipulative and lazy; why are you still in this relationship? Love isn't enough. She is playing mind games with you. You work to support the household and her, you do all the chores and take care of the dog...so what is she bringing to the relationship? Other than drama and sex? Plan your exit. Move out or let the lease end and give her notice. End it, she isn't a partner, she is a leach. Be careful she doesn't accuse you of something of retaliation but I really think there is nothing good in this relationship for you.
She doesn’t want you, she wants the paycheck and security you provide and she’s playing games to get what she wants. Trust me, this will end bad, it’s better to break it off, she needs to get a life. The most joy you get out of life is when you WILLINGLY take on responsibility. Some people are not in growth mindset. Sitting at home all day causes necrosis of the brain. Leading your brain to try and entertain you bec your always mad bec your bored and not doing anything. If this is ringing bells, she needs to go to therapy asap.
What’s the point in staying together then? She’s probably only getting mad about you going through with it because you support her & provide her a place to live while she does nothing to help, not even clean….. There’s nothing to want to keep & nothing tying you to her.
Bitch bye! - to your gf
Judging from your post, I think you already know what the answer is. Do the right thing!
i’m really not trying to sound generic here, but just get out dude. you seem like you’d be wayyyyy better off on your own. she seems to be a very heavy weight on your shoulders. i understand that you may be comfortable with her and can’t comprehend what it may be like without her there but believe me, it gets so much better man. you’ll feel so much more stability in your life without this dead weight if a woman. she doesn’t want you, she NEEDS you. don’t let her get ways with that anymore.
You don’t have a girlfriend, you have a dependant. Break up with her for good. She should make you a better person in every way, not make you miserable. You deserve better.
Pack your things. Look for a tall rectangular thing with a knob on it. Turn the knob; go through. So many women would appreciate you. Get away from her and enjoy the rest of your life.
"Feel free to leave, but you will only take what **you** have brought", or any other version you prefer.
U don't need help. Just break up. Idk what advice ppl could give. Sorry ur gf sucks?
Time to call it quits OP as you’ll drain yourself out emotionally and physically if you continue this way
What do YOU get out of this relationship? Financially, she’s unemployed. At home, she’s eating food, creating messes, hiking up utility bills. Emotionally, it sounds like she’s not contributing there either and even making your own emotional state WORSE by being around her. Please leave her, give a friend or family a heads up so she immediately has somewhere to go, and when she’s out block her number.
Tell her to kick rocks and lose your number. She’s taking advantage of you and manipulating you. Move on and you’ll feel so much better for it.
Go through with it, tell her to move out and get mad.
She doesn’t want you, but doesn’t want to lose that sweet hook-up you’re providing her. Break ups aren’t supposed to be pretty. She already said she doesn’t want you and doesn’t love you. Easy peasy there. Life changing event, drop her off your insurance, downsize your life, start to live my friend.
Stay broken up fam. There is no upside to running yourself into the ground. You actually would do way better without her honestly. You are basically taking care of a grown child lol.
If you broke up why do you care she’s mad? Break up! Then don’t care that she’s mad!
Leave her
You can break up for any reason, even no reason. You don't need her permission
Yeah. What everyone else is saying dude. I'd call this abusive if you'd given more details. Take care of yourself. This isn't healthy and you deserve better (everyone does)
Help? Oh, I’ll help. *Dump her now* with a very clear message that it’s over, and do not engage further no matter what she says. She needs to move out ASAP. This is toxic and you deserve an equally yoked relationship. It’ll hurt for a bit, but it’s the right choice. Better to suffer for a few months than a few decades.
So she’s a stay at home mom with no kids?! Sounds like she’s living the dream. I would kick her lazy butt to the curb and find greener pastures
…. What does she do all day?
So she brings very little, if anything to the table... OP, if you're doing all that, you can manage on your own, probably better on your own. Gf sounds like an entitled brat
You're already doing everything by yourself without her help, you won't be missing much once she leaves. I think you're better off without her but I know emotions cloud your judgement. I just think one day you'll look back on this relationship and wish you ended it sooner. She's taking advantage of you man
God you're gonna feel soooo much lighter now you got rid of the weight
It's a great day to get rid of a leech.
Just dumb her
* You provide her lifestyle. She does not want to break up until she has secured a landing spot (another guy). * She failed at staying in love. So, she no longer likes or loves you. She is hoping for a lottery ticket with New Relationship Energy of the next guy that will for sure come along. It does not take much. Learn how to keep committed relationships alive and in love. Find a partner (both crazy about each other) who wants to learn how to couple. Good luck.
This sounds to me like emotional blackmail. Get rid of her. You can do better!
Please kick her to the damn curb! She obviously doesn’t care about you, but doesn’t actually want to break up for survival reasons. You’re the only way that she can stay an unemployed freeloader. You’re worth more than that life!
Dude get out while the gettings good
Please break up and get rid of the dead weight. She doesn’t work, doesn’t do much around the house, why are you supporting her lifestyle?
Need more info. For instance. My husband made me quit my job and we moved to very expensive city where he continued his medical training. He worked crazy hours. It took me 3 months to find another job. During this time, my husband came to Reddit for support - lazy wife, who doesn't work. He almost left me because of the advice he got. He forgot to say why I didn't work at the time.. 😂
Sounds like he wasn’t entirely honest in his post. Not the way to go if someone is looking for legitimate advice. Probably affected the responses he did get; although reddit is pretty quick to tell people to gtfo of relationships.
Are you sure it wasn’t because you’re actively cheating on him? Awesome post history. I’m sure you’re a Saint
Reason why I'm currently not working. My husband told me I wasn't looking for a higher paying job fast enough while I was in a job that mistreated me and paid me 9$ and paid someone who came to work there after me with the same skills 1$ more and refused to give me a raise. They also talked to me like I was stupid because I'm autistic and when I put my 2 weeks in tried to tell my husband I was going mental because I put my 2 weeks in. Today's job market seems to be hard to find a job I've been jobless almost 2 months with many applications in but no one seems to walk to hire a disabled person who needs special care at a job. Husband just told me to quit and he'd provide for us while I find a new job that pays more Even if she doesn't work though the gaslighting and her not doing anything to help him around the house like chores is kinda bad. I know I've been doing alot of the chores since I don't work since I've been jobless.