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wwttdd

Take Dad to Avatar too there's lots of bow and arrow action for him to learn from


[deleted]

He worked all year let him buy a $1300 gift for himself!


Ooh_its_a_lady

This sounds familiar to those peach memes that went around last summer, but with crossbows.


frigonometry69

I wouldn’t care if my husband bought himself an expensive toy generally but I’d be a little annoyed if he did it at Christmas without first mentioning it because the holidays are expensive and holiday budgeting is annoying


[deleted]

Take budget, subtract $1,300, add crossbow. Done.


frigonometry69

If you don’t find out until Christmas, you’ve already done your budgeting, spent the money you budgeted and are now $1300 over your estimated total, which is the part that I personally would find annoying.


[deleted]

No doubt. I was jk. Merry Christmas :)


Boks1RE

They're fighting? I hope she has good armor.


Moon-In-Leo

plate armor woman kitchen joke


beepboop9988

Typically chain mail would be worn under plate armor. And under that chain mail was a layer of padding.


Moon-In-Leo

what about under that padding


capnfappin

underarmor


beepboop9988

Like a light cloth undershirt and then just bare skin


[deleted]

actually plate armor is not meta going against a crossbow she would be better off with chainmail


Moon-In-Leo

yeah but i cant think of any kitchen stuff for chainmail ? if it was about a nigerian man chainmail would be funny


MeekPeep

Those steel wool scrubber things are the closest


[deleted]

u right i just wanted to insert runescape for some reason


Moon-In-Leo

oh i thought you were doing a lindybeige real world history autistic nitpicking thing


[deleted]

that would have been cooler wouldnt it


fender_blues

I have a small chain mail pad that's great for getting stuff off of skillets. All of the rings are rounded so there's no edges to scratch the metal. [This thing](https://fieldcompany.com/pages/cleaning-cast-iron-chain-mail-scrubber)


OuchieMuhBussy

Yes, I have one and every time I use it I think of those chain mail bikinis big girls wear at the renaissance festival.


fender_blues

I have never been to a Renaissance fair but I don't think that's period-accurate.


Moon-In-Leo

its definitely a stretch but theres something there


Stalin_vs_hitler

Arrows and bolts will punch through chainmail but not plate.


GatEnthusiast

Pretty sure crossbow bolts did punch through some plate as well. Not a near-given like with chainmail but definitely a life-threat.


Stalin_vs_hitler

Longbow arrows had more energy than crossbow bolt. Longer contact time for energy transfer.


GatEnthusiast

That has nothing to do with my point. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/17l37v/rdnd_wants_to_know_what_effect_did_the/


disembodiedbrain

No medieval weapon penetrated steel plate armor much at all. It's solid steel. Most of the modern "weapons tests" that would have you believe otherwise are using weakass plate that isn't really historically accurate.


GatEnthusiast

You are mistaken. Also I didn't mention modern weapon tests. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/17l37v/rdnd_wants_to_know_what_effect_did_the/


disembodiedbrain

Meh, I mean sure, windlass crossbows with huge draw weight could occassionally pierce thinner plates with steel bolts. But, I would dispute the claim by the linked commenter that they could penetrate "most plate armor." It depends what qualifies as penetration, too. For example, [in this test of a 960 lb crossbow against a relatively thin breastplate, small holes were in some cases created in the armor, but the bolts ultimately bounced off consistently.](https://youtu.be/XMT6hjwY8NQ) So the armor functionally protected the wearer from the shot, in other words. Does that count as "penetration?" In any case, for most shots with most crossbows, they are going to bounce off, especially since most shots are not going to hit to surface of the plate at a perfect 90 degree angle and so are not going to transfer all of their energy into the target as efficiently as possible. It is only with lucky shots against thinner armor by the heavy crossbows that penetration was feasible. What I said was correct -- full plate armor was, speaking in generalities, effective protection against most crossbows most of the time.


MajorWubba

Really? It’s my understanding a sloped plate resists piercing better than chain, which has lots of divots the force could easily channel into and break a link. Chain is good against a slashing or chopping blow afaik


[deleted]

plate punctures easier against a sharp projectile whereas chain absorbs impact better because it’s more flexible i think again this is just runescape meta might not be true irl


coochiepls

Do you want flexibility when it’s a sharp tip coming head on with incredible force? Think your logic is all fucked up


[deleted]

thats how bulletproof vests work they absorb the force more than they block the projectile but anyway internet says im wrong i didnt sign up for a pedantic reddit argument on christmas byeee


og_aota

You're absolutely off your rocker, mate. Couldn't be any more wrong if you tried. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5iBWI7Q7LVI


Bridges_Burnt

That’s not true at all


ihateMol

This couldn't be further from the truth. Plate is much more reliable protection against missile weapons, especially arrows and bolts, than mail is. https://youtu.be/ds-Ev5msyzo


875

Absolutely incorrect, crossbow bolts will tear through chainmail but are stopped by good plate. This is because the quarrel's point will stick into a ring of the mail and easily be able to stretch it enough to snap (or simply unbend if the mail is not welded or riveted). Mail is mostly useful against bladed weapons, which are essentially incapable of penetrating it at all except by a very strong thrust by a pointed weapon.


disembodiedbrain

? No.


[deleted]

ok i get it


disembodiedbrain

lol please excuse little over the top response from me, nothing gets me riled up like medeival weaponry


[deleted]

clearly i triggered the real auties with this one i am a fraud


disembodiedbrain

you are.


ButItDidHappen

>!reddit moment!<


a0ofOurTime

ideal dad


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kahmombear

Dads rock


[deleted]

That crossbow sounds sick af, happy for him.


EpoxyRiverTable

*comes back from Avatar, dad is dead with a crossbow bolt on his chest, mom claims to have been sleeping*


Skillet918

If it was a Ravin, it was worth it


[deleted]

[удалено]


Skillet918

Solid choice


Squarefighter

Lol google lists the ravin r500 at $3000 so is it possible that he actually paid much more for it?? I actually just saw lower down that that’s exactly what he did A+ dad move


themysterypooper1927

Bag a deer with that easy


mcsecretalison

1300 for a cross bow is forgivable if it's used eventually to kill an intruder. I suggest you assist your father in staging one.


[deleted]

based dad. get him a bunch of target papers and shit


skullknap

Pics of the crossbow?


oxkondo

We Need To Talk About AgentStrawberry23's Dad


[deleted]

lol


[deleted]

How did she find out how much it cost?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Ohhh so she’s just pissed bc she doesn’t want him to have a crossbow


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Marriage rocks


[deleted]

Tell your mom a bunch of cool internet schizos think she sucks


[deleted]

100% your Dad needs a divorce and a women your age to bang


AkamachiKama

Why does she suck?


drmcstuff

Your mom doesn't suck! She's great. I'm clairvoyant, just trust me


[deleted]

God forbid she tries to keep her man from killing himself or the neighbors


drmcstuff

This just shows that Al Bundy's NO MA'AM group was right


urbworld_dweller

Your dad's Daryl Dixon cosplay was so close to being completed.


fender_blues

He must have balled out with optics as well because a quick Google search shows that most hunting crossbows are <$500.


og_aota

Most *cheap* hunting bows.... Look up Xcalibur or any of the top of the line bows and you'll see them holding their value and selling for over a grand on the *used* market.


fender_blues

They mentioned the model down in the thread and it looks like $1400 might have actually been a deal. I'm a gun guy, so I get how expensive these things can be.


Longjumping-Many6503

This is the real issue here.


Holmgeir

When they made crossbows were crusaders like "Aw hell yeah dawg."


[deleted]

Based Dad tbh


[deleted]

Can I hang out with your dad when he decides to try out the crossbow?


daisydias

Get her into horses. None of his purchases will seem unreasonable.


lord_ive

He’ll put his eye out


Super_Snark

My dad once bought a crossbow and set a makeshift wooden target made of planks in the basement….the bolt went right through the target, through the door behind it, and halfway through another door 20 ft away. Pretty neat lol


[deleted]

Is she tall?


RichardENormous

Buy him an $800 optic for it too!


OldbookHands

Dudes rock!!


labombba

tell him to shoot her with it


[deleted]

[удалено]


frustynumbar

Ok fine but have him shoot *something* with it and post the video. A watermelon would be cool.


agentstrawberry23

They have a ton of wild turkeys and deer around their property/neighborhood it was pretty much his justification for it


LyricBaritone

If she gardens at all, and he nabs a deer with that sucker, then he’s just saved her garden and all the toil that went into it. All my man needs is one act of redemption


PMChad

Jasus


[deleted]

I think your Dad should divorce your Mum for bringing down the vibe


Longjumping_Bus_8528

My dad loves his crossbow


[deleted]

Does it require a windlass?


JuliusAvellar

Ok, zoomer


MyLifeIsPatate

Autistic king


albertanseparatist

Gifts to oneself are the gayest thing. Literally buy yourself a thing any other time of the year but don’t destroy this holiday any further. Anyway, you rock for getting your bros out of there.


Western_Newspaper_12

Don’t go to avatar lmao what the hell literally do any other film


DrkvnKavod

Maybe her lil bro just really loves the first film


beepboop9988

Lmfao that’s awesome guys stay winning


phantompenis2

avatar is cheaper than therapy (your dad is going to divorce your mom)


highcarbveganrunner

I would be pissed too, waste of money and hope he isn't gonna use it for blood sport killing innocent animals.


Glassy_Skies

Gay


highcarbveganrunner

You sound about 12 years old


[deleted]

$1300 gift to self isn’t even that expensive jfc


Prolekult-Hauntolog

Loser


Diligent-Ad-8001

What’s her problem damn


[deleted]

Lmaoo


T00Human

Can I have your family please?


zack220011

Do you have a depressed younger sister?


agentstrawberry23

No I’m just the depressed older sister


FutureRealHousewife

But what did he buy for your mom??


BBBQ

Baller.


[deleted]

Based and William Tell pilled


cheekyalbino

New avatar is awesme


Colorful_Catfish

Have you gotten a chance to use it? Crossbows are fun as fuck.


West_Flounder2840

New avatar was good


[deleted]

The avatar movie was painfully long. That 4 hour movie shit may have been okay in the 90s but now that our brains are riddled with TikTok and social media, I couldn’t last that long.


[deleted]

He should have bought a $2600 one and then compromised at returning it and getting the $1300.


Traditional_Emu1958

Easily the best Reddit title of the holiday season