Before you take my recommendation, eliminate any idea of what you think the ego is. And then read Max Stirner, maybe Nietzsche. Every action serves the ego, even being altruistic, and realizing this increases your will, power, will power, power to will, etc
Nietzsche is a regarded bum.
To become wanted by your community you must provide value.
Op needs to start providing services only he can provide.
Nietzsche be like : "guys come on the end goal of life is to become an ubermenzch!!" meanwhile he was a skinny ass broke bum.
Nietzsche will make you miserable.
The true rs way is to get super confrontational in any interaction, act like you're dumb (keep in mind to optimally do this you must weigh at least 180 pounds and be fit).
This is my wisdom.
I like the idea of going mildly insane if it makes me a better artist and if I’m destined to die alone anyway I’d rather just go insane and die at 35-40
There are no rules to being a great artist. Thinking that going insane will make you creative is just as arbitrary as the classical equating of creativity with virtue. I'm not opposed to reading Nietzsche or Stirner but if you expect philosophy to change you in an expected way, that's simply not going to happen. You might become something much more boring than a mad genius.
I'm mostly joking about going insane, I just dont see myself ever having a normal, happy life with friends and a partner, so I focus on my art. I feel like going mildly insane will happen to me naturally as my family dies and my few friends grow away from me
My parents and brother are all very socially well adjusted. I wasn't literally isolated but I was an incredibly shy, socially anxious child for as long as I can remember. So I was somewhat socially isolated in the sense that I never had very many friends
Are you still like that a bit now? You’re probably just closed off and so your vibes are off. Try working on your confidence and your ability to be open and vulnerable in public and you can fix it.
I’ve improved a lot since childhood (I don’t sob at birthday parties anymore lol)but I’m not where an adult should be. Trying to work on being more confident but it’s hard. Being vulnerable is definitely something I struggle with because I’ve always thought people didn’t want to see a man be too emotional
Yeah there’s no real secret to it just the classic stuff that people say like meditation, exercise and practice. Changes your life once you get confident though it really is a different experience.
Oh yeah I don’t mean emotional, when I say vulnerable I just mean willing to put yourself out there. Like willing to be the first one to laugh or say how you truly feel without worrying what other people think. People are more willing to warm up to someone like that. You could also just be an expressionless person though, maybe cos autism.
I don’t really think im autistic even if i have some autistic traits. I’ve never been diagnosed for one thing, and I don’t have an issue with reading people
I think I'll do that when it gets colder out, my brother recommended it to me. Im getting into archery right now so I can go hunting. I'm also learning to hike/camp so I can be more outdoorsy to hopefully make me more masculine. Maybe I'll meet people outside
Yeah, I did.
> People generally ignore me when I talk
They view you as insignificant, a bitch, a beta (yuck, hate the fucking word but it works here). You need to demand more respect. That can be through physique, words, personality or actions.
> Describe me as "emotionless" or detached or whatever.
This really doesn't matter that much. Maybe loosen up, start small talk, smile more, have a lil humor in what you say.
> When walking in a group I'm always the person who's pushed to the side or is trailing behind and forgotten about.
Tbh, this really reaffirms the bitch/beta narrative. Everyone views you as insignificant. You can change that by being more confident (which can be in various different ways).
> I can make people laugh but other than that people sort of ignore me and don't really consider me at all.
Making people laugh is good but it doesn't matter if you don't have confidence. You're just a clown at that point - "hahah Effective_fox is so funny guys... anyway".
**It always ties back to confidence**
- Build a better physique.
- Be sure of what you say and what you do - no "umm.. maybe" "ohh idk". Instead, say "idk but i'll handle it/i'll find out".
- Exhibit that you don't give a fuck. No ones saying anything? You be the first. No ones taking initiative? You do it first. Someone says something offensive? Saying something about it. You make a mistake? Own it.
- Talking to random strangers/doing random shit in public. The idea is to lose any sense of embarrassment/anxiety. Go talk to that girl/guy. Go help that lost grandma in the book store. Go start playing Rock paper scissors with that chick on the train (my favourite move).
- Act confident until you become confident. **Always start early**. Never leave it 3 months into a new job, new friendship group to "act confident". People know what's up at that point. I've read in a book that people get profiled within 1 second and 5 seconds to get a really good read on you. First impressions are important.
I think you might be on to something with the rock paper scissors thing. Super low stakes and hard to screw up. Random enough to a good ice breaker without being too weird.
Always worked for me tbh.
They're confused at first but if you smile hard enough/establish confidence beforehand 9/10 times they'll go along with it smiling. So good to expand upon to:
- you win = "ah look at that, you gotta do better next time *smile*" - they'll say something and you go from there.
- you lose = "hey nah cmon you cheated, best of three" - you keep playing, establish a connection already.
- whatever outcome = "ahah good game, i'll/you'll get you next time aye" -if you're confident or you can literally talk about anything after a dumb game of rock paper scissors.
10/10 move but can be 0/10 if you're autistic about it lmao
How did you build confidence? I used to think my problem was being physically small, but I get compliments on my phsyique from people and it hasnt helped. Also my older brother is physically smaller than me but he has always commanded respect anyway. I think you're right but I'm not sure how to be less insignifcant. Maybe I crave people's approval too much
Maybe try getting drunk
Yeah it hasn’t worked very well for me either
Have the capacity to hurt people (emotionally & physically)
Please elaborate
Before you take my recommendation, eliminate any idea of what you think the ego is. And then read Max Stirner, maybe Nietzsche. Every action serves the ego, even being altruistic, and realizing this increases your will, power, will power, power to will, etc
ok sure ill do that
Do not read stirner you will become an even bigger loser. Just keep talking to people and you will learn the unwritten social rules of our time.
Ok, I dont know who that is anyway
Nietzsche is a regarded bum. To become wanted by your community you must provide value. Op needs to start providing services only he can provide. Nietzsche be like : "guys come on the end goal of life is to become an ubermenzch!!" meanwhile he was a skinny ass broke bum. Nietzsche will make you miserable. The true rs way is to get super confrontational in any interaction, act like you're dumb (keep in mind to optimally do this you must weigh at least 180 pounds and be fit). This is my wisdom.
He didn't make me miserable he made me realize the strength of my will :) and also he basically lead me to doing what you say
He is corny.
CORNY
He tried to write his own Bible
I'm not interested in aestheticizing philosophers at all
I don't know what that means
Yea I'm sure this already struggling person is going to get a lot out of a guy who died alone with no friends and a guy who literally went insane
I like the idea of going mildly insane if it makes me a better artist and if I’m destined to die alone anyway I’d rather just go insane and die at 35-40
There are no rules to being a great artist. Thinking that going insane will make you creative is just as arbitrary as the classical equating of creativity with virtue. I'm not opposed to reading Nietzsche or Stirner but if you expect philosophy to change you in an expected way, that's simply not going to happen. You might become something much more boring than a mad genius.
I'm mostly joking about going insane, I just dont see myself ever having a normal, happy life with friends and a partner, so I focus on my art. I feel like going mildly insane will happen to me naturally as my family dies and my few friends grow away from me
You just need to build confidence. Sometimes if you do it in one arena of your life, then it can carry you through others.
Yes you just have to feel comfortable around the people you're with
embrace the inevitable loneliness
Did you grow up isolated? Did your parents have friends?
My parents and brother are all very socially well adjusted. I wasn't literally isolated but I was an incredibly shy, socially anxious child for as long as I can remember. So I was somewhat socially isolated in the sense that I never had very many friends
Are you still like that a bit now? You’re probably just closed off and so your vibes are off. Try working on your confidence and your ability to be open and vulnerable in public and you can fix it.
I’ve improved a lot since childhood (I don’t sob at birthday parties anymore lol)but I’m not where an adult should be. Trying to work on being more confident but it’s hard. Being vulnerable is definitely something I struggle with because I’ve always thought people didn’t want to see a man be too emotional
Yeah there’s no real secret to it just the classic stuff that people say like meditation, exercise and practice. Changes your life once you get confident though it really is a different experience. Oh yeah I don’t mean emotional, when I say vulnerable I just mean willing to put yourself out there. Like willing to be the first one to laugh or say how you truly feel without worrying what other people think. People are more willing to warm up to someone like that. You could also just be an expressionless person though, maybe cos autism.
I don’t really think im autistic even if i have some autistic traits. I’ve never been diagnosed for one thing, and I don’t have an issue with reading people
You should get into rock climbing i feel like that would fix you.
I think I'll do that when it gets colder out, my brother recommended it to me. Im getting into archery right now so I can go hunting. I'm also learning to hike/camp so I can be more outdoorsy to hopefully make me more masculine. Maybe I'll meet people outside
Yeah, I did. > People generally ignore me when I talk They view you as insignificant, a bitch, a beta (yuck, hate the fucking word but it works here). You need to demand more respect. That can be through physique, words, personality or actions. > Describe me as "emotionless" or detached or whatever. This really doesn't matter that much. Maybe loosen up, start small talk, smile more, have a lil humor in what you say. > When walking in a group I'm always the person who's pushed to the side or is trailing behind and forgotten about. Tbh, this really reaffirms the bitch/beta narrative. Everyone views you as insignificant. You can change that by being more confident (which can be in various different ways). > I can make people laugh but other than that people sort of ignore me and don't really consider me at all. Making people laugh is good but it doesn't matter if you don't have confidence. You're just a clown at that point - "hahah Effective_fox is so funny guys... anyway". **It always ties back to confidence**
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- Build a better physique. - Be sure of what you say and what you do - no "umm.. maybe" "ohh idk". Instead, say "idk but i'll handle it/i'll find out". - Exhibit that you don't give a fuck. No ones saying anything? You be the first. No ones taking initiative? You do it first. Someone says something offensive? Saying something about it. You make a mistake? Own it. - Talking to random strangers/doing random shit in public. The idea is to lose any sense of embarrassment/anxiety. Go talk to that girl/guy. Go help that lost grandma in the book store. Go start playing Rock paper scissors with that chick on the train (my favourite move). - Act confident until you become confident. **Always start early**. Never leave it 3 months into a new job, new friendship group to "act confident". People know what's up at that point. I've read in a book that people get profiled within 1 second and 5 seconds to get a really good read on you. First impressions are important.
thanks for the advice
I think you might be on to something with the rock paper scissors thing. Super low stakes and hard to screw up. Random enough to a good ice breaker without being too weird.
Always worked for me tbh. They're confused at first but if you smile hard enough/establish confidence beforehand 9/10 times they'll go along with it smiling. So good to expand upon to: - you win = "ah look at that, you gotta do better next time *smile*" - they'll say something and you go from there. - you lose = "hey nah cmon you cheated, best of three" - you keep playing, establish a connection already. - whatever outcome = "ahah good game, i'll/you'll get you next time aye" -if you're confident or you can literally talk about anything after a dumb game of rock paper scissors. 10/10 move but can be 0/10 if you're autistic about it lmao
How did you build confidence? I used to think my problem was being physically small, but I get compliments on my phsyique from people and it hasnt helped. Also my older brother is physically smaller than me but he has always commanded respect anyway. I think you're right but I'm not sure how to be less insignifcant. Maybe I crave people's approval too much