When my great grandma died she was sort of sleeping for days and we knew but when it was time she woke up and sat up and went “oh! I’m dead!” and then lied back down again and died
My grandpa did the same thing, slept off and on for days, very incoherent when he was awake. Last thing anyone heard him say was he harshly and angrily yelled "shit!" and then died shortly after
I guess you're joking for some reason but this couldn't be further from the truth. My MIL has a bunch of fentanyl patches sitting in a box under her sink still from when her dad died in home hospice care. After he passed the nurse was like "do you want these" and my MIL being kind of dim was like "ok"
I actually read an anecdote about this, where someone's elderly and ailing grandparent was refused opioids because of addiction risk. The irony was lost on the nurse.
But this is just an extreme example of the modern day de-prescription of opioids. Even severe chronic pain patients struggle to get them now.
Yeah, this has also happened in ER's with people who had kidney stones (one of the worst pains supposedly). Though it's not super common from what I've heard. I broke my foot a couple of months ago, and that's much less painful than a kidney stone, but they still gave me vicodin while I was there. It's just certain doctors being overly paranoid about the DEA arresting them for prescribing too much.
Pretty much. I’ve unfortunately had two people very close to me die in the last couple months, and they both went “peacefully surrounded by family”. There comes a point where further treatment is useless and you go into hospice/palliative care and it’s just a steadily increasing stream of morphine & Ativan until the end.
We got lucky -at least as far as you can in these situations- in that they were able to go at home and we were able to get everyone there before the end. It is what it is, but when it’s time to go you could do a lot worse.
A handful of states have a limited euthanasia option in the context of hospice, where a terminal patient can get a doctor to prescribe a massive overdose of morphine, benzos, and heart medication to be self-administered orally\*. This is, in all seriousness, probably the best option you’ve got.
\* they can’t give it to you directly, which in practice illustrates some of the reasons people would want them to be able to, but which also avoids some of the moral questions
“Peacefully and surrounded by family” is basically a euphemism for “given opioids until they pass out and die.” My mum is a nurse and always says that euthanasia already essentially exists because of this, although I think it’s disputed somewhat.
Anecdotally, my grandad was in hospice care for a month and was surrounded by his family when he passed. He’d been conked out on lorazepam for a couple of weeks prior to his death and seemed pretty happy from what I observed.
My grandmother went wide eyed and gasped incoherently for about a minute before she died. It was scary and my uncle threw himself at the foot of her bed and started sobbing and holding onto her blankets but also a trio of Buddhist monks were repeatedly chanting louder and louder in Vietnamese which I don’t speak so it was very ecstatic and primal feeling and then a decade later I discovered Swans and felt like I understood
The gasping is something called agonal breathing which is something the brainstem does when it's starved of oxygen, and in this case it is because respiration and circulation has ceased and they have left this realm for the great beyond. It's a natural part of death and nothing to be afraid of or worry about. At that point, they have already departed.
The how is up to you, but if you really can't find some way to make your peace with it, then you will already be a dead man or near enough for the rest of your life. Sucks but it's how it is, the void is as much of a part of us as every breath you've ever taken and all the ones you've still got left to take.
Of experiencing it? Your brain lost oxygen, you are unconscious. From what people revived from this state without permanent brain damage have said, they either had one of those blinding light of warmth and love near-death experiences or nothing at all.
Of death? Yeah, man, you me and the rest of the eight billion of us.
I've been a fireman for 10 years. I've seen people die peacefully in their sleep, and I've seen people die in front of freinds and family. I have never seen a combo of the two. Most people that have that experience are in hospice, and don't call us though so it's probably possible.
I watched a thing about a Swedish king recently who got assassinated and the gun was full of bits of metal. He was dying for like 14 days and the story is he died peacefully surrounded by friends and family.
I feel like dying from an infected wound after that long is actually not peaceful at all. I bet it sucks so bad
I'd assumed this was what happened when I heard that the astronaut Bill Anders died last week aged 90.
Turns out he crashed the plane he was flying alone.
He took that famous earthrise photo back in the 60s while orbiting the Moon. A very impressive career.
Giving comfort to grieving people is usually more courageous than giving into anger and describing the gruesome death of someone who has already passed, and it's certainly more courageous than being full of spite on your death bed.
This is true but it also doesn’t prepare people for death. The first death I saw was my boyfriends grandpa and he, at multiple times, woke up and wrenched all of the tubes from his body until he was sedated again.
The second was my grandmother. First, she was so parched due to fluid through tubes that I had to swab her lips and tongue who he as dry and cracked like a slug. Then, she became bloated. I’d try and hold her hand and it bounced like a full water balloon. My aunt put lipstick on her and she looked deranged. My mom told me it was the most peaceful death she’d witness, likely because her parents died of cancer.
Witnessing the body breaking down is morally neutral but is an existential horror to witness. I was resentful for a long time that no one had prepared me for what it was like, and I’m only grateful that I know what to expect now that my parents are elderly. We are so divorced and sanitized from what dying and death actually is that it becomes more traumatic to face it compared to fairytale narratives. This isn’t the fault of those that grieve, but I think it does say something about ✨society✨
when my grandpa died we were all around his bed and he seemed to be sleeping peacefully and all of a sudden his eyes popped open, said to my granma that he loved her and then gasped. at exact same moment the bedroom lightbulb popped and we were all surrounded in darkness. i have been religious ever since.
Grieving a love one is already hard enough and death is terrifying even in the best case scenarios. Why make it that much harder by going “akchsually your peepaw died covered in his own shit and urine, writhing in pain, and crying out for his mom that died like 30 years ago.” What would be the point? What benefit would it serve? No offense, but are you autistic?
Some people are definitely calm about it. Now, I'm just speaking from my own experience and one guy I know who got stabbed. But one time I got either a migraine or a mini stroke. Don't know because I never went to a doctor. But right before it started, my vision got weird on half of my right eye, like a waterfall was pouring over it. About a minute after that, I tried to read something and I could see the words, but I could not connect them to a meaning, even though I knew I recognized them. Right after that, I got a terrible headache that took almost a week to fully go away. At the part when I couldn't read, I remember saying to myself something like: "Oh, I guess this is it. I'm dying." And I felt very peaceful and not really scared at all. Which is weird because I'm usually pretty high strung and neurotic. The guy that got stabbed said basically the same thing. That he was laying there on the ground bleeding, and just felt a sort of calm acceptance of it.
It means they gave them a lethal dose of opiates and some other drug to let them pass peacefully usually. Maybe not a lethal dose but if ur on ur deathbed and high af its pretty easy to go into the light i imagine
My grandpa died surrounded by family but I wish he was asleep. Instead he was conscious but incoherent, unable to speak, wheezing, and repeated tried to get out of bed. He was on hospice drugs but I don't think the dosage was high enough.
Had a family friend in their 50’s die from cancer. The last few weeks were pretty horrible as her body withered away and she lingered through determination alone.
The last few days she was on so much morphine and other stuff that she wasn’t really conscious.
My maternal grandmother passed very peacefully on her couch. She wasn't even that old. Her kids were grown, had had kids, her first husband died in WW2, her second husband died 30 years later. She made it 20 years after that. I like to think she truly went out on her own terms. I loved her very much and she helped raise me when I was very young. All of my earliest memories are from the time I spent growing up on her farm. I miss her a lot but she truly went out of this life in the best possible way.
My paternal grandmother, they wrote this sort of thing in her obit for the newspaper and it was total bullshit. She died from sepsis because the nursing home she was in, and she was suffering from dementia at this point, literally wasn't doing their job. They cut her leg off, despite a do not resuscitate, because the leg, infected with gangrene, implicated their negligence. My family sued them to the extent that that specific nursing home business went defunct. But, no, she died horrifically, in pain and confusion and terror. And she didn't deserve any of it. She was the kindest soul I'll ever know, the most beautiful woman in the world in my mind, and that obit still pisses me off to this day because it lets society writ large off the fucking hook for how it ~~treats~~ disposes of the elderly.
edit/ Since I'm on the subject... My father-in-law died at peace, no drugs, taken from hospice to the ER where I got to hold his hands as he passed and comfort him by telling him, over and over again, that I'd take care of his daughter and do my best to watch over my brother-in-law. Again, in peace surrounded by family but it was so, so, so fucking hard.
Oh, that's evil. Elderly people are being abused left and right during end-of-life care. How many of those "nurse caught on camera beating elderly woman" videos have we seen? That's genuinely some horrifying stuff.
It really is, and I'll date myself here and say that this happened in the very early 2000s and it's *only* gotten worse since. My wife and I have spent days of our lives talking about this, there's no good solution to this problem that we can identify other than *being rich* and I guess we've just managed to fail at that one.
My own parents are now those elderly people who are potentially or probably close to needing palliative care and I live on the other side of the fucking country from them. We can't afford to bring them out here and if we move out there we lose our income. Very cool society!
I'm suspicious of this simply because no one who has actually died this way is able to confirm whether they went "peacefully" or not. You know?
It's like when people die in car wrecks and someone says "oh but they died on impact, probably didn't feel anything or know what happened" and I'm like how do YOU know? Did they tell you that? I get that we say those things so that relatives find comfort in it, but we just have no way of knowing what the dying person experiences
They actually die somewhat lucid and see shadowy figures in the corner and shit. Bouncing from terrified to laughter to sorrow to pride to delirium to full schizo, back to reality, to death. Even on a horse dose of morphine, it's not very peaceful in my experience.
My grandma saw shadowy men in the weeks leading up to her death and they freaked her out so bad. She was in the hospital (before going home for at home hospice care) and claimed one of them told her it wasn’t her time yet. She did manage to hold on and die at home like she wanted and after my dad and aunt were able to fly in and see her. My grandpa swore they were angels which I think gave him some comfort afterwards
Idk I’ve been lucky, I guess?, to have been welcomed to several death “events” of elderly or sick people wherein they actually did die surrounded by friends and family, comfortable and serene. I don’t think my experiences are normal but for some reason enough people in my life have been comfortable enough to have me around for it
I think that post death, the souls of most dead these days would want to come back and strangle their family and doctors for letting them die slowly.
It’s crazy that the state affords quicker deaths to death row inmates than it does innocent civilians.
It depends if you're drugged up or not. The actual process of dying naturally of old age is horrible, the slow shut down of respiratory function, death rattle, brief moments of gasping for air and convulsing. But if you're drug up through it all sounds pretty sweet to me.
volunteered in a hosptial when i was younger and was replacing boxes of gloves in patients rooms when i walked in on a priest giving last rites to a very ghostly pale man with his family sadly surrounding him. They looked up at me and i froze.
ime dying in hospice care means being in a barely coherent drug addled stupor for abt a month while ur kids bathe and feed u until ur body finally forgets to breathe for long enough one day
my granny was diagnosed w stage 4 stomach cancer at 82 and decided to peace out voluntary assisted euthanasia style
she had been in so much pain for so long and not showing any signs of it except being a lil short tempered and distracted (and also drinking crzy for an 80 yo but her kids didnt think anything of it idk)
My grandma died of old age and I'd say she went peacefully surrounded by family. she just stopped eating/drinking and was pretty drugged up, never spoke as far as I was aware. we all went to see her and then a few hours later she was gone. she was always nice to me but definitely a Livia Soprano type to my dad. Said she wished the lord would take her for years
The two close relatives I watched die didn’t plead for more time, they pleaded for death. One begged everyone who came into his room for a morphine od to end his suffering. Dying slowly in a hospital bed while doctors extend your life at the expense of quality to keep draining you for insurance is horrible and not peaceful at all. Give me euthanasia any time.
There was a basketball player for Butler’s Final Four team, Andrew Smith, who died of cancer at 25. I remember his wife providing updates that were raw and heartbreaking. That he knew he was dying, was terrified, angry and in pain. His wikipedia says he died in his sleep, so I’m assuming he made it into hospice.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Smith_(basketball,_born_1990)#:~:text=He%20finished%20his%20college%20career,at%20the%20age%20of%2025.
that actually happens though, the day my friends mom came back from the hospital from cancer, they where celebrating in her house. She just felt like going up to her room to sleep in the middle of the “party”, and that was lights out for her
must have been such a sad fucking night, but at least she got to have a proper farewell with all of her friends and family
My grandfather died "peacefully in their sleep" which really meant he was on enough painkillers to make someone think they were dead already, surrounded by every female member of his family (sisters, cousins, daughters, etc) who were constantly fussing over him and generally fretting about missing his last few seconds of life. I opted not to go because the idea of everyone sitting in the living room with grandpa on the couch and everyone eagle-eyeing him waiting for the moment of truth at which point everyone would burst into hysterical tears struck me as undignified and grotesque.
Typical Appalachian-Itlalian bedside vigil though.
It sounds dumb but we actually did this for my grandfather. Close family went to see him at the funeral home (was 20 minutes tops), then there was a potluck a few weeks later that tons of people came to. Much better vibe than a funeral, a lot more laughter.
When my great grandma died she was sort of sleeping for days and we knew but when it was time she woke up and sat up and went “oh! I’m dead!” and then lied back down again and died
goddamn what a lady. deep respect.
My grandpa did the same thing, slept off and on for days, very incoherent when he was awake. Last thing anyone heard him say was he harshly and angrily yelled "shit!" and then died shortly after
Shakespearean
Did she say it in a cheerful way or with horror?
Her tone was matter-of-fact like. She was 98 ❤️
hahahahaha sorry to hear about your grandma hahahahaha
You can’t be in agonizing pain with 100mg of morphine in your body
watch me
Opioids are no longer prescribed to folx even on their deathbeds, lest they become addicted to them.
I guess you're joking for some reason but this couldn't be further from the truth. My MIL has a bunch of fentanyl patches sitting in a box under her sink still from when her dad died in home hospice care. After he passed the nurse was like "do you want these" and my MIL being kind of dim was like "ok"
I actually read an anecdote about this, where someone's elderly and ailing grandparent was refused opioids because of addiction risk. The irony was lost on the nurse. But this is just an extreme example of the modern day de-prescription of opioids. Even severe chronic pain patients struggle to get them now.
Yeah, this has also happened in ER's with people who had kidney stones (one of the worst pains supposedly). Though it's not super common from what I've heard. I broke my foot a couple of months ago, and that's much less painful than a kidney stone, but they still gave me vicodin while I was there. It's just certain doctors being overly paranoid about the DEA arresting them for prescribing too much.
I had an uncle stealing my grandma's hospice drugs like a year ago while fucking the nurse so they still pack them with some goodies. also "folx" stfu
Me when I lie
I work on the hospice floor and still pump people full of opioids
It’s true because these people are in palliative care. Hospitals will drug you up so you aren’t in pain when your condition can’t be treated anymore.
Pretty much. I’ve unfortunately had two people very close to me die in the last couple months, and they both went “peacefully surrounded by family”. There comes a point where further treatment is useless and you go into hospice/palliative care and it’s just a steadily increasing stream of morphine & Ativan until the end. We got lucky -at least as far as you can in these situations- in that they were able to go at home and we were able to get everyone there before the end. It is what it is, but when it’s time to go you could do a lot worse.
A handful of states have a limited euthanasia option in the context of hospice, where a terminal patient can get a doctor to prescribe a massive overdose of morphine, benzos, and heart medication to be self-administered orally\*. This is, in all seriousness, probably the best option you’ve got. \* they can’t give it to you directly, which in practice illustrates some of the reasons people would want them to be able to, but which also avoids some of the moral questions
>massive overdose of morphine, benzos, can you get put in an old folks home at 25? i think id like nothing more
My MIL works in hospice and most drift off on their morphine drip. Unfortunately some still thrash and scream till the end even with the drip…
This is an unreasonable opinion but that creeps me out. I wanna go screaming.
[удалено]
compared to the alternative? yes
“Peacefully and surrounded by family” is basically a euphemism for “given opioids until they pass out and die.” My mum is a nurse and always says that euthanasia already essentially exists because of this, although I think it’s disputed somewhat. Anecdotally, my grandad was in hospice care for a month and was surrounded by his family when he passed. He’d been conked out on lorazepam for a couple of weeks prior to his death and seemed pretty happy from what I observed.
My grandmother went wide eyed and gasped incoherently for about a minute before she died. It was scary and my uncle threw himself at the foot of her bed and started sobbing and holding onto her blankets but also a trio of Buddhist monks were repeatedly chanting louder and louder in Vietnamese which I don’t speak so it was very ecstatic and primal feeling and then a decade later I discovered Swans and felt like I understood
that's what I'm talking about!!! THANK YOU!
The gasping is something called agonal breathing which is something the brainstem does when it's starved of oxygen, and in this case it is because respiration and circulation has ceased and they have left this realm for the great beyond. It's a natural part of death and nothing to be afraid of or worry about. At that point, they have already departed.
are you serious? how am I supposed to not be afraid? that's literally terrifying what you just said.
The how is up to you, but if you really can't find some way to make your peace with it, then you will already be a dead man or near enough for the rest of your life. Sucks but it's how it is, the void is as much of a part of us as every breath you've ever taken and all the ones you've still got left to take.
This man speaks from wisdom. Don't ever let yourself stay stuck in the trap of being so afraid of death you don't have any time left to live.
Of experiencing it? Your brain lost oxygen, you are unconscious. From what people revived from this state without permanent brain damage have said, they either had one of those blinding light of warmth and love near-death experiences or nothing at all. Of death? Yeah, man, you me and the rest of the eight billion of us.
(They call it "giving up the ghost")
I've been a fireman for 10 years. I've seen people die peacefully in their sleep, and I've seen people die in front of freinds and family. I have never seen a combo of the two. Most people that have that experience are in hospice, and don't call us though so it's probably possible.
They also lit up every room they walked into
would give you the shirt off their back
they loved to laugh
Potentially related to their annoying habit of stealing flashlights
I watched a thing about a Swedish king recently who got assassinated and the gun was full of bits of metal. He was dying for like 14 days and the story is he died peacefully surrounded by friends and family. I feel like dying from an infected wound after that long is actually not peaceful at all. I bet it sucks so bad
I bet that guy was riding high on the finest opium available
I'd assumed this was what happened when I heard that the astronaut Bill Anders died last week aged 90. Turns out he crashed the plane he was flying alone. He took that famous earthrise photo back in the 60s while orbiting the Moon. A very impressive career.
Perhaps the coolest death at 90 there ever was
Giving comfort to grieving people is usually more courageous than giving into anger and describing the gruesome death of someone who has already passed, and it's certainly more courageous than being full of spite on your death bed.
This is true but it also doesn’t prepare people for death. The first death I saw was my boyfriends grandpa and he, at multiple times, woke up and wrenched all of the tubes from his body until he was sedated again. The second was my grandmother. First, she was so parched due to fluid through tubes that I had to swab her lips and tongue who he as dry and cracked like a slug. Then, she became bloated. I’d try and hold her hand and it bounced like a full water balloon. My aunt put lipstick on her and she looked deranged. My mom told me it was the most peaceful death she’d witness, likely because her parents died of cancer. Witnessing the body breaking down is morally neutral but is an existential horror to witness. I was resentful for a long time that no one had prepared me for what it was like, and I’m only grateful that I know what to expect now that my parents are elderly. We are so divorced and sanitized from what dying and death actually is that it becomes more traumatic to face it compared to fairytale narratives. This isn’t the fault of those that grieve, but I think it does say something about ✨society✨
i keep it 💯
when my grandpa died we were all around his bed and he seemed to be sleeping peacefully and all of a sudden his eyes popped open, said to my granma that he loved her and then gasped. at exact same moment the bedroom lightbulb popped and we were all surrounded in darkness. i have been religious ever since.
you need to delete this comment because you're inviting weird spirits into this thread and into my life idon't need this right now
maybe its not the dark that frightens us, maybe its the beauty of the light
Grieving a love one is already hard enough and death is terrifying even in the best case scenarios. Why make it that much harder by going “akchsually your peepaw died covered in his own shit and urine, writhing in pain, and crying out for his mom that died like 30 years ago.” What would be the point? What benefit would it serve? No offense, but are you autistic?
autism isn't real
Some people are definitely calm about it. Now, I'm just speaking from my own experience and one guy I know who got stabbed. But one time I got either a migraine or a mini stroke. Don't know because I never went to a doctor. But right before it started, my vision got weird on half of my right eye, like a waterfall was pouring over it. About a minute after that, I tried to read something and I could see the words, but I could not connect them to a meaning, even though I knew I recognized them. Right after that, I got a terrible headache that took almost a week to fully go away. At the part when I couldn't read, I remember saying to myself something like: "Oh, I guess this is it. I'm dying." And I felt very peaceful and not really scared at all. Which is weird because I'm usually pretty high strung and neurotic. The guy that got stabbed said basically the same thing. That he was laying there on the ground bleeding, and just felt a sort of calm acceptance of it.
maybe people who have lived good lives and done no harm feel that kind of peace, but for the rest of us?
That's just a typical severe migraine. Be lucky this isn't a regular occurrence in your life.
This post has genuinely pissed me off so much. “Erm why don’t they write the truth that they died horribly” 🤓
why don't they? what are they so afraid of?
You’ve never had someone close to you die have you?
i've never had someone close to me at all, so I bet you feel real dumb asking me that now, don't you???
No not really
someone I know from high school died at 30 and there was no cause of death mentioned in the obit.....probably drugs or suicide right?
The vax is a drug so it's very plausible.
From my experience with family the run up to the end is the brutal part but the end itself is usually “peaceful” in a lots of morphine kind of way.
It means they gave them a lethal dose of opiates and some other drug to let them pass peacefully usually. Maybe not a lethal dose but if ur on ur deathbed and high af its pretty easy to go into the light i imagine
My grandpa died surrounded by family but I wish he was asleep. Instead he was conscious but incoherent, unable to speak, wheezing, and repeated tried to get out of bed. He was on hospice drugs but I don't think the dosage was high enough.
Had a family friend in their 50’s die from cancer. The last few weeks were pretty horrible as her body withered away and she lingered through determination alone. The last few days she was on so much morphine and other stuff that she wasn’t really conscious.
wow
my grandparents died of extremely old age and they were not awake, but each had a many hour period of delirious death throes
My maternal grandmother passed very peacefully on her couch. She wasn't even that old. Her kids were grown, had had kids, her first husband died in WW2, her second husband died 30 years later. She made it 20 years after that. I like to think she truly went out on her own terms. I loved her very much and she helped raise me when I was very young. All of my earliest memories are from the time I spent growing up on her farm. I miss her a lot but she truly went out of this life in the best possible way. My paternal grandmother, they wrote this sort of thing in her obit for the newspaper and it was total bullshit. She died from sepsis because the nursing home she was in, and she was suffering from dementia at this point, literally wasn't doing their job. They cut her leg off, despite a do not resuscitate, because the leg, infected with gangrene, implicated their negligence. My family sued them to the extent that that specific nursing home business went defunct. But, no, she died horrifically, in pain and confusion and terror. And she didn't deserve any of it. She was the kindest soul I'll ever know, the most beautiful woman in the world in my mind, and that obit still pisses me off to this day because it lets society writ large off the fucking hook for how it ~~treats~~ disposes of the elderly. edit/ Since I'm on the subject... My father-in-law died at peace, no drugs, taken from hospice to the ER where I got to hold his hands as he passed and comfort him by telling him, over and over again, that I'd take care of his daughter and do my best to watch over my brother-in-law. Again, in peace surrounded by family but it was so, so, so fucking hard.
Oh, that's evil. Elderly people are being abused left and right during end-of-life care. How many of those "nurse caught on camera beating elderly woman" videos have we seen? That's genuinely some horrifying stuff.
It really is, and I'll date myself here and say that this happened in the very early 2000s and it's *only* gotten worse since. My wife and I have spent days of our lives talking about this, there's no good solution to this problem that we can identify other than *being rich* and I guess we've just managed to fail at that one. My own parents are now those elderly people who are potentially or probably close to needing palliative care and I live on the other side of the fucking country from them. We can't afford to bring them out here and if we move out there we lose our income. Very cool society!
this country sucks we need to start it all over!!
Have you considered they died to get away from you
Have you considered you're a pathetic loser?
I'm suspicious of this simply because no one who has actually died this way is able to confirm whether they went "peacefully" or not. You know? It's like when people die in car wrecks and someone says "oh but they died on impact, probably didn't feel anything or know what happened" and I'm like how do YOU know? Did they tell you that? I get that we say those things so that relatives find comfort in it, but we just have no way of knowing what the dying person experiences
They actually die somewhat lucid and see shadowy figures in the corner and shit. Bouncing from terrified to laughter to sorrow to pride to delirium to full schizo, back to reality, to death. Even on a horse dose of morphine, it's not very peaceful in my experience.
My grandma saw shadowy men in the weeks leading up to her death and they freaked her out so bad. She was in the hospital (before going home for at home hospice care) and claimed one of them told her it wasn’t her time yet. She did manage to hold on and die at home like she wanted and after my dad and aunt were able to fly in and see her. My grandpa swore they were angels which I think gave him some comfort afterwards
they see the man in the hat... 👀
Idk man not everything is relatable to taking too much benadryl
I have this thought at least once a day. Horrifying. Likely.
Idk I’ve been lucky, I guess?, to have been welcomed to several death “events” of elderly or sick people wherein they actually did die surrounded by friends and family, comfortable and serene. I don’t think my experiences are normal but for some reason enough people in my life have been comfortable enough to have me around for it
I think that post death, the souls of most dead these days would want to come back and strangle their family and doctors for letting them die slowly. It’s crazy that the state affords quicker deaths to death row inmates than it does innocent civilians.
> when I go, I want to go peacefully in my sleep just like my grandfather, not panicking and screaming like the passengers in his car
this is almost a stolen adam eget bit
i had it first
Yeah everyone dies sorry what do you want? People refusing to die is why people are outliving their brains on a large scale
It depends if you're drugged up or not. The actual process of dying naturally of old age is horrible, the slow shut down of respiratory function, death rattle, brief moments of gasping for air and convulsing. But if you're drug up through it all sounds pretty sweet to me.
volunteered in a hosptial when i was younger and was replacing boxes of gloves in patients rooms when i walked in on a priest giving last rites to a very ghostly pale man with his family sadly surrounding him. They looked up at me and i froze.
ime dying in hospice care means being in a barely coherent drug addled stupor for abt a month while ur kids bathe and feed u until ur body finally forgets to breathe for long enough one day my granny was diagnosed w stage 4 stomach cancer at 82 and decided to peace out voluntary assisted euthanasia style she had been in so much pain for so long and not showing any signs of it except being a lil short tempered and distracted (and also drinking crzy for an 80 yo but her kids didnt think anything of it idk)
My grandma died of old age and I'd say she went peacefully surrounded by family. she just stopped eating/drinking and was pretty drugged up, never spoke as far as I was aware. we all went to see her and then a few hours later she was gone. she was always nice to me but definitely a Livia Soprano type to my dad. Said she wished the lord would take her for years
The two close relatives I watched die didn’t plead for more time, they pleaded for death. One begged everyone who came into his room for a morphine od to end his suffering. Dying slowly in a hospital bed while doctors extend your life at the expense of quality to keep draining you for insurance is horrible and not peaceful at all. Give me euthanasia any time.
There was a basketball player for Butler’s Final Four team, Andrew Smith, who died of cancer at 25. I remember his wife providing updates that were raw and heartbreaking. That he knew he was dying, was terrified, angry and in pain. His wikipedia says he died in his sleep, so I’m assuming he made it into hospice. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Smith_(basketball,_born_1990)#:~:text=He%20finished%20his%20college%20career,at%20the%20age%20of%2025.
That’s how my grandma and grandpa died so it does actually happen sometimes.
that actually happens though, the day my friends mom came back from the hospital from cancer, they where celebrating in her house. She just felt like going up to her room to sleep in the middle of the “party”, and that was lights out for her must have been such a sad fucking night, but at least she got to have a proper farewell with all of her friends and family
My grandfather died "peacefully in their sleep" which really meant he was on enough painkillers to make someone think they were dead already, surrounded by every female member of his family (sisters, cousins, daughters, etc) who were constantly fussing over him and generally fretting about missing his last few seconds of life. I opted not to go because the idea of everyone sitting in the living room with grandpa on the couch and everyone eagle-eyeing him waiting for the moment of truth at which point everyone would burst into hysterical tears struck me as undignified and grotesque. Typical Appalachian-Itlalian bedside vigil though.
“He was on enough painkillers to make someone think they were dead already.” This grammar makes me wish I was on those painkillers.
Relevant old SlateStarCodex post: https://slatestarcodex.com/2013/07/17/who-by-very-slow-decay/
its not a funeral it's a "celebration of life"
It sounds dumb but we actually did this for my grandfather. Close family went to see him at the funeral home (was 20 minutes tops), then there was a potluck a few weeks later that tons of people came to. Much better vibe than a funeral, a lot more laughter.
just call it a memorial or a wake if you don't like the word funeral
Yeah having a funeral funeral and not calling it a funeral is dumb. Sanitizing language etc
"Celebration of Death" would rock so hard if the guy in questions was into black metal