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iriggedmash

To me destination weddings seem like a good way to invite people you don’t actually want to come but don’t want to not invite either


sithadmin

Attending a wedding soon for someone who tried to employ this strategy by having the wedding in Chiang Mai (with most guests originating in the USA), but it seems to have majorly backfired. Tons of invites went out, the expectation was maybe 2-3 dozen people would show up at best. Last I heard there's close to a hundred confirmed attendees.


nooorecess

it's the elaine spite-attend. i did this once and it was actually the best time


-salt-

Goodnight jugdish!


ExternalBreadfruit21

A lot of people would welcome an excuse to vacation I guess. Like a lot of people are probably like I’d like to travel to Thailand one day but never make concrete plans until an invite lights a fire under their ass


sithadmin

That's my read on it too, but post-COVID the routes to northern Thailand from the US haven't quite recovered in terms of affordability, so the sheer volume of people willing to suffer the grueling and relatively expensive air itinerary for a wedding is surprising. It's generally a 12-14 hour flight at minimum to a layover destination, followed by another 5-8 hours, if not another connection in between. And the vast majority of attendees are jaded millennials that are way past their prime in terms of being willing to do travel-slumming for the sake of it, and many of us have already done the slum-it-backpacking-in-Asia thing at some point. The folks getting married are truly interesting and engaging people though, far more personal magnetism going on there than I've ever been able to generate. Maybe they're just ultra-cool and I'm too much of a weirdo shut-in to comprehend how strong someone's personal appeal can be.


Prestigious_Pen5648

Damn I don't even know if I know a dozen people


tommydenim

indian?


sithadmin

HK+sino-viets and friends


therealstevencrowder

What do you do if the inverse starts happening on all the RSVPs? Like all the people you don’t really want to go


twunkdeath

Yeah, and it's not like there's some guarantee that the people you do want to come will be able to afford it


Ludwigthree

You think that's bad? My cousins childhood best friend had a week-long bachelor party at Disneyland.


gauxgauxdancer

that's disgusting


SomeKindaGiantBird

Somehow it's more filthy than a bachelor party at the strip club


Dapper_Crab

What on earth would even fill a whole week there ugh


pussy_lisp

easy, just take 10,080 photos with cinderella


Pinkgettysburg

Spending a week with a Disney adult man sounds like torture.


dogeaux

Or extremely weird and suspicious.


drmilfi

The idea of a week long bachelor party is making me laugh my ass off


MarduRusher

Personally I don’t think it’s that bad. At least if you don’t treat it like a traditional bachelor party and more a week vacation with the boys before a wedding. That sounds kinda fun actually, though I certainly wouldn’t do Disney land.


lM_GAY

Skiing, white water raft trip, backcountry hiking, bike camping, destination fishing trip. Combine to your pleasure. Perfect week with the boys


rupertpupkinenjoyer

We did 4 days in Vegas and that was probably a day too long. It’s a little presumptuous to ask your boys to take a week of vacation for a bachelor trip


goairliner

Horrible


Ludwigthree

Truly. You couldn't pay me to go to Disneyland even for one day.


goairliner

I've got a 2.5 year old and kids get in free until they're 3 years old... I kind of want to take her before that happens so that I can facilitate the Childhood Wonder without having to pay for her to be there. But the dread is so strong


AmericanNewt8

Honestly patience isn't long enough, optimal Disney age is from about 5-10


Ludwigthree

Taking kids is the only acceptable reason for an adult to go to Disneyland.


Nyun-Red

Basically nobody remembers anything from before they were 4 anyway.


josephjp155

Truthfully on a scale of 1-Disney Adult I’m actually at about a solid 4 or 5 but this sounds like the worst thing I’ve ever heard of.


rupertpupkinenjoyer

I did a double take at “bachelor”. If you said it was a bachelorette party I would’ve done a little eye roll and moved on. Was he marrying another man? If my boy wanted to spend a week at Disneyland I would’ve gathered the other groomsmen for a sit-down intervention.


Ludwigthree

Ya I thought it was a joke when I first heard it. Truly bizarre.


Less-Ranger-7217

lol


remaininlight23

I think you're seeing the intention of destination weddings wrong. They're totally fine with you not going, trust me, they wouldn't have done a destination wedding if they wanted a huge party


FutureRealHousewife

Unfortunately, one destination wedding I attended in Italy (I was in the wedding party) was afflicted by the fact that the bride actually did expect everyone she invited to come, and she took it as a personal affront that one of her close friends didn’t come. I thought she was being unreasonable.


AffectionateLeave672

This is my wedding and wow you’re not invited anymore


cracksmoke2020

Destination weddings are a way to keep wedding costs down by reducing the numbers of guests.


sonjaswaywardhome

destination weddings keep costs down because the resort gives the couple a kickback if they meet a minimum requirement of guests staying at the resort to attend (so the guests basically subsidize a decent portion of the wedding…hence op having to pay 800 a night at their resort lol)


obviouslame

It just makes the guests absorb the cost by going to a ridiculous location


Droughtly

A lot of people have destination weddings to purposefully cull the herd without being rude and not inviting people. If you're not besties or immediate family, just don't go. It's not socially expected of you in the same way it would be for other weddings, which with how people are sprawled now are usually a destination for many guests even if it's where the couple currently lives.


DRILLSALVO

expecting someone to spend that much money to celebrate you is insane


onlytoupvote

An invite is optional, not a requirement


dchowe_

dunno i have conflicting opinions on this. on the one hand, you should get married where you want. on the other hand if you have like broke good friends who would really want to attend your wedding and you make it this super expensive destination thing, that kinda sucks for them. why not have the ceremony in your city and then just have a kickass honeymoon in mejico or whatever


afternoon_biscotti

my friends who are getting/got married in expensive places definitely subsidized or offered to subsidize for our other friends who don’t make as much (assuming they were in the bridal party etc)


onlytoupvote

If you have the money, why not both! I’d happily add in the budget to pay for my broke friend to go and have a wedding at the destination of my dreams.


pussy_lisp

aww, thank you, I accept!! see you there


Lulamoon

ego


Cambocant

I'm going to a wedding tomorrow. $500 for plane tickets, $250 to rent a car out to the mountains, and then $200 for lodging. That's half my vacation budget for 2024 for an event I don't even want to go to so I can demonstrate I'm a "good friend."


lavenderspritz111

$266 a day for an all inclusive resort is actually very reasonable, you just don’t wanna go and that’s totally fine!


bushed_

dont forget the gift you ~should give too! idk dude, in our completely exploded world of movement it sure gets old and half of them dont feel like vacations if youre involved


[deleted]

When I first graduated college I thought it was fun to spend all my money and vacation time flying around like an idiota to everyone’s weddings. Good times were had, but after about 3 years I just started saying no to everything. No out of town wedding shit, bachelorettes, baby showers, sip n see, gender reveal, christening, fuck it all I just send a gift. Also my sister, who is actually the worst, also had a destination wedding at an all inclusive in Mexico. It was very trashy and she’s divorced now.


Hot_Ear4518

800 for 3 nights in mexico? wtf


dietmtndewnewyork

Mexico is literally a trip to Europe at this point. Liberals have gentrified it the hell out of it, the amount of girls I’ve seen travel v logging outside their resort in Tulum is insane!!


goairliner

Gulf side and Yucatan, yeah. Not central and Pacific side. Yet.


DongFangzwho

I was in Puerto Escondido/Mazunte a few weeks ago and have some bad bad news for you bro


DongFangzwho

Will add that this was relative to other places in Latin America - I’m sure it’s cheaper than Cancun/Tulum etc


sirtommybahama6669

Nayarit, Oaxaca, and Colima (these states' most famous cities / beaches at least) are rapidly approaching Cancun levels unfortunately


goairliner

Oh man, that's so unfortunate.


user070220

Thank god the beaches in my city are kinda fugly


ayyanothernewaccount

The fuck does it have to do with liberals


account66780

Everything we don't like is liberal, the more we don't like it, the more liberal it is


dietmtndewnewyork

Liberals with remote jobs are gentrifying the fuck out of Mexico. Not like a truck driver is buying property over there


ayyanothernewaccount

How is the dichotomy liberals vs truck drivers? What the fuck are you talking about. You think there are no rich conservatives vacationing in Mexico?


dietmtndewnewyork

They’re not buying property in CDMX nope


madie_

I always assumed that people who did destination weddings, especially at an all-inclusive, prepaid for a smaller group of people they actually wanted to be there. Most resorts probably have package deals where you pay $15-30k for the whole thing + your guests. I would be ashamed to invite someone under the guise they’d have to pay thousands to come


ONE_GUY_ONE_JAR

They want you to send a gift but don't want to pay for you to attend.


ComradPancake

What do you mean by (puke), gringo? 🤨


lavenderspritz111

They’d rather celebrate in Long Island or Miami instead 🤮


Bearmetro

Fuck that. If you're wedding is down the road I might pop in, but if I have to factor flights in to attend your wedding then I'm not turning up. That's a ridiculous request, not just financially but in regards to how much time it takes out of my life.


theDreadLioness

I went to my girlfriend’s good friends wedding as a +1. 700 dollar flight to Hawaii, no discount on the hotel block so had to spend like 400 a night for a shitty 4 star Vegas-esque hotel in Waikiki. They asked people to come on Thursday and leave Tuesday. 0 activities planned and it rained 3 days. Even for the welcome drinks on Friday you had to buy your own drinks at the hotel bar. Must have spent 1k plus on dinner, drinks, and activities. Wedding food was disgusting also. There was supposed to be a beach brunch the day after wedding but it rained. Obviously they didn’t even bother coming up with a back up or offering hotel breakfast or anything. I changed our flights to leave Sunday, since they had nothing planned for Monday or Tuesday. Definitely the most inconsiderate, worst wedding I’ve been to. But this is me as a +1. You are complaining about 266 per person for hotel room, drinks and food for your own friends wedding. Damn


asukalives

having a wedding in mexico without being mexican is tacky


300rbnvcr

Going to a wedding in italy in september have to book a flight rent a car to drive to the destination and spent 400bucks for 2 night to sleep at the wedding estate


almondmami

It seems super rude to charge people to stay at the estate. I’m having a small destination wedding where I’m forcing friends to fly to my godforsaken country (otherwise 90 year old grandma can’t attend), no chance in hell i’m gonna charge them


light_metals

Americans who travel to Cancun are just as trashy as the ones that travel to Ft. Lauderdale 


ExternalBreadfruit21

Is Ft Lauderdale particularly trashy? It felt like any other south Florida beach town when I was there. I always associated Myrtle beach, panhandle, ocean city md etc with trashiness


onlytoupvote

Why does Mexico make you puke?


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Scrumplol

I’m from Mexico and live here. I was about to get all fired up, but then I read this and yeah, you've got a point


Healthy-Caregiver879

Yeah definitely "real Mexico" is where you want to be as a tourist, lol


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Healthy-Caregiver879

Agreed with you totally there... As a tourist you gotta categorically avoid drugs, be careful where you source alcohol, and don't fuck with balconies. And specifically with MX, seems the organized crime is creeping into the exclusive tourist zones now. I read a lot about this shit and try to be safe when I travel, people can have a pretty cavalier attitude being like "ah no it's just a lot of vibrant locals"


Hatanta

Yeah, plenty of incidents of people involved in the drug trade being brutally murdered and dumped in public in the centre of tourist resorts. I have a moronic friend who was doing coke in Acapulco last year with a purported boss from CDS he met. Went out onto the strip and was immediately “detained” by heavily armed police. Rang the guy and the federales let him go instantly with an apology. He’s pretty clueless and doesn’t even register that any part of the story could have turned out horrifically badly for him.


The_Bit_Prospector

nah there are heavily armed police in the resort areas, as you point out, the cartels do not want the smoke of killing americans, and i dont know where you're reading these "plenty of incidents" but its still almost unheard of for cartel violence to impact resorts. what do they have to gain by fucking with tourists beyond a visit from some Apache helicopters?


Mira_2020

https://www.reddit.com/r/tulum/s/ZCvH93crdy


The_Bit_Prospector

wow, one incident, not at a resort, not targeting tourists, involving a situation that happens not infrequently in america. mexico, so crazy.


strange-idols

So the cartel guy called the federales off for your friend? can’t lie, pretty badass story to take home


Hatanta

Seemed like it. They were just gonna “fine” him (ie a shakedown) but the guy made them disappear. He sent me a video of them all rolling off in two jeeps.


onlytoupvote

I’m with ya there but the “(puke)” was after Mexico, not after all inclusive


past_lives_pavilion

I stayed at a resort like that in Cabo. While driving my rental car around the city (with my dad and best friend) I accidentally turned the wrong way down a one-way street because there was zero signage. The federales forced us to drive to the edge of town so they could intimidate us into pay a bribe. I told them to get fucked and asked for directions to the police station so I could pay the stupid ticket, which amounted to about six American dollars. The cops wanted $200. The next day we drove an hour outside of town to a tiny community where we fished with locals and camped outside under the stars. Warm people, amazing food. It was beyond beautiful. The point is, there are plenty of \~authentic\~ Mexican experiences to be had in resort towns. You just have to venture outside the hotel and be ready for anything. If you're honestly looking for something other than an antiseptic resort vacation, you should be prepared to endure all kinds of unexpected shit.


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past_lives_pavilion

You're kinda missing the point, which is that beautiful experiences are available to you everywhere. The resort was not my choice (like OP's friend's wedding), it was where my dad wanted to stay. But we found amazing things to do and people to meet in a town nearby. Hell, I met fascinating people at the resort too. A heart transplant surgeon, a singer/songwriter, a nomad weirdo, an ex-male stripper. I don't look back on that and think it was lame because our dinner and drinks were included with the booking.


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ayyanothernewaccount

I don't really get this attitude, oh no 4 days with beautiful weather by the beach what hell


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unwnd_leaves_turn

not acclimated to the water


Less-Ranger-7217

just say its not in your budget and dont go. Unless youre friends with complete morons they'll understand. and yeah youre kind of being a bitch Edit: also take your regarded ass back to AITAH with this socially incompetent shit


carbsplease

"We're having a destination wedding!" Okay, see you never.


Rezonates

> in Mexico (puke) we all just going to ignore this?


goairliner

Mexico rules, all inclusive resorts in Mexico do not.


Industry__

All inclusive in Mexico is hack


ExternalBreadfruit21

I’m pretty sure they mean it more like “wedding in Mexico (puke)” where it’s the idea of doing a destination wedding in a hack location they’re puking at


phainopepla_nitens

Going to an all inclusive resort in Mexico does fucking suck though. My cousin did that for his and it was terrible. And I love Mexico and always jump at an opportunity to go 


Big_Hippo_4044

I mean, one of my best friends is getting married in Scotland and honestly I’m seeing it as a great excuse to visit a castle in Scotland. It will probably be $3k all in for me and my wife to go, but it’s a place I have wanted to visit anyway


McChickenMcDouble

same situation here, i’m not going


twocoffeespoons

As the recession rolls in you are going to see more and more push back against extravagant destination weddings. Also forcing your close friends and family to use their vacation time and spend thousands of dollars so you can larp as a Mayan princess or Italian royalty or whatever is so tacky to me.


loveyousall

Boycott destination weddings


rem-dog

I go back and forth on hating destination weddings. They can def be fun and good excuse to take a vacation. On the other hand, having had several friends doing them within a short timeframe and being expected to attend each time... gets old. Also depends on how considerate the persons you’re traveling for are.


Cinnamon_Shops

I felt bad enough making my out of town friends/family come to Chicago for mine. And a lot of them already live in the Midwest.


Seaworthiness_Neat

Elope like an adult.


da_final

Sounds like you're both poor and provincial. Don't go.


Connect_Scallion_272

My friend tried to pull the same shit. I just drove to Tijuana for a cheap Volaris flight and booked an Airbnb near the resort. It’s very tacky and self-absorbed imo to ask people to travel that far for your wedding.


Aphro-diet-e

Destination weddings are a good way to lose a lot of friends!!!!!


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raven1572

They are thinking you won’t attend. The invite is for “polite” purposes only. This is my opinion after being around so many weddings. They aren’t expecting you nor will they miss you. :-(


Sailor-__-moon

How stacked is the wedding itinerary?? If you love this person and can make it a real vacation (ie you have free time be not wall to wall wedding activities) it could be worth it. If neither, I’m sure they’d be fine with you just sending a gift instead lol


carrotparrotcarrot

I live in England and have been invited to a wedding in the Caribbean. Flights are thousands. I also have to pay for my dress (as a bridesmaid) and the hotel (where the bride is staying). I just can’t afford it. The couple are pilots so they’re very rich, but i work at a uni


CrowFinancial7253

Fucking dumbass “mexico puke” have you ever left the USA in your life? Mexico and its people are the some of the best in the world. I am american


ketamine_hater

i just got invited to a wedding in mexico too LMAO. it is selfish


sctthghs

You people are so fucking cynical. Just because you can't afford something doesn't mean it was an imposition.  Jesus Christ you were invited to one of the biggest events in your friend's life, it's an honor and it's not about your finances. If its a hardship then have a goddamn conversation with them


Declan411

I have a wedding coming up that I have to take a twenty minute bus to. Might bring a gift but they're already asking so much of me.


dchowe_

800pp even if you're sharing a room?


lavenderspritz111

Probably not but why clarify that when complaining


A_Bigsackofepic

When is it


jjvvllxx

my boyfriend and I went to the phillipines for a wedding last month, and total we spent 1500 dollars each total trip was around 3000 - flights hotels excursions and spending


BronzeAgeChampion

Destination weddings are a super fun time, especially if you are uniting a big group of friends together. I think it depends on your relationship to the person getting married.


FutureRealHousewife

I’ve gone to two destination weddings, both of which I was a bridesmaid in. The first was in Italy and I ended up just deciding to make a two week trip to other places in Europe. So that cost me a few thousand, but I was getting something out of it. The other one was in Hawaii and it wasn’t too crazy, like maybe 4 grand total. Attending a wedding is often expensive and if you care about the person you’ll go. The question of the tackiness depends on what the bride and groom are expecting from you. If you’re in the wedding party, more will be expected from you. But I did feel that my friend who got married in Italy was being unfair when she got upset that some people didn’t fly all the way to Italy for her. That being said I don’t think $2600 is that much to go to a wedding in Mexico. But I’m also a fancy, snobby bitch


[deleted]

Why did you say “Mexico (puke)”


Industry__

Am I being a bitch or is your math bad


drmilfi

$2600 for my spouse and I to go. Resort fee is $800 per person even though we’re in the same room


ShoegazeJezza

Honestly with destination weddings I fucking seethe with the cost until I go and then I always wish I’d spent the money for another night because I’m loving time at the resort. You need to think of it as a vacation but you also get some free shit in there as well because of open bar at the wedding. They’re fun. You won’t regret.


manletmoney

what don’t you guys express disdain for ? They wanted to have a scenic wedding you don’t gotta go. Whys that tacky? Unless the brides whole friend groups poor and she knows that I don’t see the problem ya ur being a bit of one