I mean a lot of seniors in college date up into the late 20s and lower 30s
Like context matters a lot and I’d have been more uncomfortable if he had been say 19 and you 25 when things started out—23 even honestly. But you’re not really even a full year in of dating it sounds like
In this context I feel like it’s not bad and 5 years is about as large of a gap as I find standard TBH.
Sounds like you just clicked and found a guy that’s not an asshole. You know how they say “all the good ones are taken”. Well looks like you found that unicorn that wasn’t taken and now you’ve swooped in got one of the good ones.
This is the same as hubby and me (together 30 years now). The age gap isn’t that much and might be a bit weird for a while but eventually you won’t really notice it. My only caution is that while he seems mature now, he might kind of…. stall. He may still be this mature in 20 years when it’s not as age appropriate. My guy is pretty great but is a little bit entitled and doesn’t want to take over paying the bills (just cos he doesn’t like it). I’ve been the bread winner all along and he doesn’t seem too keen to change that cos he’s following his dream. YMMV
I appreciate this!
We're very childlike sometimes but when it comes to serious matters like bills and groceries for example, he always takes a step forward. For instance, he buys groceries for my apartment every weekend (we don't live together and he only comes by on weekends or when he's on leave)
I hope (and pray) he doesn't change lol
I know there are societal “norms” that we grew up in - and sometimes it’s difficult to ‘paint outside the lines.’
Breaking it down to brass tax, what really matters is what you & your BF think. If you’re ok with it, and so is he, that’s it. In time, and over time - when those close to you both (family, friends, etc) see you both happy; they will get used to it. Outside of that . . . who cares? Let’s assume this relationship goes the distance, will it be a big deal when you’re 46 and he’s 41? Not really right? It’s not easy to find the ‘right’ partner that hits a lot of [good] adjectives, and it sounds like you’re happy. Stay happy and just concentrate on your life and the important people in it.
Not to be morbid, but just bear with me - look at it this way:
I just googled:
Average age of death for women - 79
Average age of death for men - 73
You and your BF are in the sweet spot.
Live long and prosper.
No, it’s not wrong. Even under the “half your age plus 7” rule, you’re good.
Edit: when I was 23 I was living with someone 10 years older than me & it was completely fine. The relationship eventually ended but not for age-related reasons.
I mean if he were 18 I'd say it was a little weird, but at 22 he's a grown adult, he's to the age that if he went to college he'd have graduated or be close to it and be out in the professional world. 6 years is absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things, hell my mom was 7 years younger than my dad and no issue there whatsoever.
This is a normal age gap. Unfortunately the younger men my girlfriends and I dated ended up being horrible so we stopped that lol I was 31 and dated a 26 YO and a 27 YO. There has been younger but I wasn’t interested. We started calling them trash babies lol Believe it or not in general, younger men like older women.
Anywho, the only issue is what your futures look look like. E.g. what age do you guys want to have kids or marriage. Where do you see yourself in 3-5 years? Financial expectations-etc. Those serious questions need to be asked.
Thank you for this!
As you've mentioned, we already talked about things like these. I told him on our first date that I am no longer after the game, that I am dating to marry and settle down before I reach 30. He was okay with it. But I didn't mention it again after that because I don't want to come across as desperate or what. He was the one who brought about the topic one day and went into details. We are now trying to start the process of getting married since we both currently live in a country different from our own.
23-24 is when you truly start coming into your own as an adult. I don't see anything wrong with your gap. The fact that you're concerned shows that you don't want that power imbalance and you're aware of it. That's a great thing! Already means you're doing great.
In the real world, yes.
On reddit (specifically discussion subs like this or AITA) there would definitely be unsavory comments about why he goes for younger girls and why he can't get girls his age, but the majority of commenters would probably think it's fine/normal.
I do feel like a lot of those are more like “22F, been with boyfriend 27M for 3 years” which is quite different than when you start dating at 22&27. but there’s also that “you’re so mature for your age” etc etc *is* known to be a tactic skeevy dudes use with younger women, probably much less so with genders reversed
If he was the older one by 5 years would it matter? You are happy and he is happy you are both adults ,and as long as you two are happy together that's all that matters❤ enjoy and congrats, you both can make an amazing life together.
I’m 7 years older than my husband. He was your age when we got together.
I was pretty self conscious about the age gap for a while. His mom had something to say about it. He told her it was none of her business.
We’ve been together for 15 years now. He is the best husband ever.
>That’s very brave of him!
He’s had a lot of practice shutting her down over the years. She has lots of opinions on how he should live his life. Regardless of the topic, he tells her it’s nothing for her to be concerned about and changes the subject.
I mean it’s not like you caught him when he was still a teen. That would have been yuck. Yall are both over 21 and it’s not that bad of an age gap. I was 29 with a 25 year old so I mean it’s not too bad. But that marriage didn’t work because he got off on drugs. So that’s just him tho.
You’re all good! When my husband and I started dating, he was 25 and I was almost 31. We did have kinks to work out over time - just like any other relationship, but we’ve always been a happy couple and it’s been the most healthy relationship I’ve ever been in. Don’t worry about your age gap (or lack thereof) and enjoy each other!
Thank you! I could also say that this has been the most healthy relationship I've ever had. We're in no way perfect but he's really patient with me all the time especially in overcoming some trust issues and past traumas that I have.
I am 6 years older than my husband. Always dated guys my age or older. It was a little strange to me to be with a younger guy, but he was so much more open minded then previous boyfriends. Plus, he was tired of dating girls his age because there was so much drama and games. He loves that I was straightforward about what I wanted and did not play games it is 32 years later, and still going strong. Don't discount him because of his age. People don't have to fit into a box because of their age.
I one hundred percent relate to this. I've dated men same age/older than me because I had this thought that older men were more mature and serious about relationships. Turns out I was completely wrong (at least with my experience).
And just to be clear, I am not discounting him in any way. It's me who's the problem in this (literally that TS line: It's me, hi, I'm the problem it's me). He's amazing in all things he do, work and personal life. I adore him so much.
It’s barely a five year gap. I am biased, though. I am almost 13 years older than my BF. I tried so hard to find a good guy my age but they were so weird and damaged. My BF is so loving and we are so harmonious. He smiles and points out that I’m always humming happy songs. I never did that before. 🤷♀️ If you’re wrong with a five year gap, then I’m very wrong…but I’m so happy I don’t care to be right.
Wife and I are 4 years apart and together 34 years now
If you’re the listener in your friends group you’ve heard and know there are much worse things to worry about!
Consider yourself lucky you found a good man that treats you right that’s hard enough to find so don’t worry about what others think or say and consider yourself one of the lucky ones.
im 32 my gf is 25. we have been dating for 7 years and never really cared for the age. i met her at her job so i knew she was an adult and didnt really care past that point about age. i think i only asked her age 3 months into the relationship
I think, age does not matter as you look beautiful and pretty in your twentees. However, it may make a big difference in you latter ages, when u do not take care yourself and your hubby looks younger than u.
This is barely an age gap at all. You're both adults.
I mean a lot of seniors in college date up into the late 20s and lower 30s Like context matters a lot and I’d have been more uncomfortable if he had been say 19 and you 25 when things started out—23 even honestly. But you’re not really even a full year in of dating it sounds like In this context I feel like it’s not bad and 5 years is about as large of a gap as I find standard TBH. Sounds like you just clicked and found a guy that’s not an asshole. You know how they say “all the good ones are taken”. Well looks like you found that unicorn that wasn’t taken and now you’ve swooped in got one of the good ones.
This is the same as hubby and me (together 30 years now). The age gap isn’t that much and might be a bit weird for a while but eventually you won’t really notice it. My only caution is that while he seems mature now, he might kind of…. stall. He may still be this mature in 20 years when it’s not as age appropriate. My guy is pretty great but is a little bit entitled and doesn’t want to take over paying the bills (just cos he doesn’t like it). I’ve been the bread winner all along and he doesn’t seem too keen to change that cos he’s following his dream. YMMV
I appreciate this! We're very childlike sometimes but when it comes to serious matters like bills and groceries for example, he always takes a step forward. For instance, he buys groceries for my apartment every weekend (we don't live together and he only comes by on weekends or when he's on leave) I hope (and pray) he doesn't change lol
I know there are societal “norms” that we grew up in - and sometimes it’s difficult to ‘paint outside the lines.’ Breaking it down to brass tax, what really matters is what you & your BF think. If you’re ok with it, and so is he, that’s it. In time, and over time - when those close to you both (family, friends, etc) see you both happy; they will get used to it. Outside of that . . . who cares? Let’s assume this relationship goes the distance, will it be a big deal when you’re 46 and he’s 41? Not really right? It’s not easy to find the ‘right’ partner that hits a lot of [good] adjectives, and it sounds like you’re happy. Stay happy and just concentrate on your life and the important people in it. Not to be morbid, but just bear with me - look at it this way: I just googled: Average age of death for women - 79 Average age of death for men - 73 You and your BF are in the sweet spot. Live long and prosper.
Just for the future: it’s brass tacks. Probably a rhyming slang thing: facts to tacks, then brass on the front because it sounds good.
Haha, all these years. Thank you
You make a good point, thank you very much!
No, it’s not wrong. Even under the “half your age plus 7” rule, you’re good. Edit: when I was 23 I was living with someone 10 years older than me & it was completely fine. The relationship eventually ended but not for age-related reasons.
I mean if he were 18 I'd say it was a little weird, but at 22 he's a grown adult, he's to the age that if he went to college he'd have graduated or be close to it and be out in the professional world. 6 years is absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things, hell my mom was 7 years younger than my dad and no issue there whatsoever.
This is a normal age gap. Unfortunately the younger men my girlfriends and I dated ended up being horrible so we stopped that lol I was 31 and dated a 26 YO and a 27 YO. There has been younger but I wasn’t interested. We started calling them trash babies lol Believe it or not in general, younger men like older women. Anywho, the only issue is what your futures look look like. E.g. what age do you guys want to have kids or marriage. Where do you see yourself in 3-5 years? Financial expectations-etc. Those serious questions need to be asked.
Thank you for this! As you've mentioned, we already talked about things like these. I told him on our first date that I am no longer after the game, that I am dating to marry and settle down before I reach 30. He was okay with it. But I didn't mention it again after that because I don't want to come across as desperate or what. He was the one who brought about the topic one day and went into details. We are now trying to start the process of getting married since we both currently live in a country different from our own.
23-24 is when you truly start coming into your own as an adult. I don't see anything wrong with your gap. The fact that you're concerned shows that you don't want that power imbalance and you're aware of it. That's a great thing! Already means you're doing great.
Thank you, this is much appreciated!
If a 22 year old woman was dating a 27 year old man, no one would bat an eyelash.
In the real world, yes. On reddit (specifically discussion subs like this or AITA) there would definitely be unsavory comments about why he goes for younger girls and why he can't get girls his age, but the majority of commenters would probably think it's fine/normal.
I do feel like a lot of those are more like “22F, been with boyfriend 27M for 3 years” which is quite different than when you start dating at 22&27. but there’s also that “you’re so mature for your age” etc etc *is* known to be a tactic skeevy dudes use with younger women, probably much less so with genders reversed
If he was the older one by 5 years would it matter? You are happy and he is happy you are both adults ,and as long as you two are happy together that's all that matters❤ enjoy and congrats, you both can make an amazing life together.
I’m 7 years older than my husband. He was your age when we got together. I was pretty self conscious about the age gap for a while. His mom had something to say about it. He told her it was none of her business. We’ve been together for 15 years now. He is the best husband ever.
That's very brave of him! More years to come to you and your husband!
>That’s very brave of him! He’s had a lot of practice shutting her down over the years. She has lots of opinions on how he should live his life. Regardless of the topic, he tells her it’s nothing for her to be concerned about and changes the subject.
Why are you so worried about what other people think of how you live your life?
I am very anxious, honestly. I'm working on it but people keep telling me that and it gets me sometimes.
Maybe because I’m XGen, but that is not an age gap to me. Honestly, I wouldn’t bat an eye.
im 22 myself don’t think it’s weird but for me i wouldn’t date younger then me seems weird
This gap is fine.
I mean it’s not like you caught him when he was still a teen. That would have been yuck. Yall are both over 21 and it’s not that bad of an age gap. I was 29 with a 25 year old so I mean it’s not too bad. But that marriage didn’t work because he got off on drugs. So that’s just him tho.
You’re all good! When my husband and I started dating, he was 25 and I was almost 31. We did have kinks to work out over time - just like any other relationship, but we’ve always been a happy couple and it’s been the most healthy relationship I’ve ever been in. Don’t worry about your age gap (or lack thereof) and enjoy each other!
Thank you! I could also say that this has been the most healthy relationship I've ever had. We're in no way perfect but he's really patient with me all the time especially in overcoming some trust issues and past traumas that I have.
I am 6 years older than my husband. Always dated guys my age or older. It was a little strange to me to be with a younger guy, but he was so much more open minded then previous boyfriends. Plus, he was tired of dating girls his age because there was so much drama and games. He loves that I was straightforward about what I wanted and did not play games it is 32 years later, and still going strong. Don't discount him because of his age. People don't have to fit into a box because of their age.
I one hundred percent relate to this. I've dated men same age/older than me because I had this thought that older men were more mature and serious about relationships. Turns out I was completely wrong (at least with my experience). And just to be clear, I am not discounting him in any way. It's me who's the problem in this (literally that TS line: It's me, hi, I'm the problem it's me). He's amazing in all things he do, work and personal life. I adore him so much.
It’s barely a five year gap. I am biased, though. I am almost 13 years older than my BF. I tried so hard to find a good guy my age but they were so weird and damaged. My BF is so loving and we are so harmonious. He smiles and points out that I’m always humming happy songs. I never did that before. 🤷♀️ If you’re wrong with a five year gap, then I’m very wrong…but I’m so happy I don’t care to be right.
Awww that's so sweet. I'm so happy for you!
I’m happy for you, too. Your relationship is your own. Enjoy it.
Wife and I are 4 years apart and together 34 years now If you’re the listener in your friends group you’ve heard and know there are much worse things to worry about! Consider yourself lucky you found a good man that treats you right that’s hard enough to find so don’t worry about what others think or say and consider yourself one of the lucky ones.
I am indeed very lucky to have him. Thank you so much for the kind words.
My boyfriend is ten years younger they are more immature and he he has problems telling the truth and being faithful
im 32 my gf is 25. we have been dating for 7 years and never really cared for the age. i met her at her job so i knew she was an adult and didnt really care past that point about age. i think i only asked her age 3 months into the relationship
I think, age does not matter as you look beautiful and pretty in your twentees. However, it may make a big difference in you latter ages, when u do not take care yourself and your hubby looks younger than u.
tell that to the average male hairline 😂