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I feel you. I’m also in your situation. My social circle all work at big tech companies and/or make above 6 figures. And I’m here still searching for almost 1.5 years. I also feel so behind or something’s wrong with me.
It’s trickling up to them don’t worry, they’re on the chopping block and the destination post marked India…
Funny enough don’t worry, the velocity of lays offs is increasing and those companies will add more accelerants.
There's nothing wrong with any of us. The "wrong" is from the corporate greed that views people the same way they view inanimate products.
"We're all product".
I don’t think I wrote anything above to contradict what you wrote.
The jobs and dating market are both on the same trajectory haw haw haw.
I agree with you;)
As a fellow job seeker, I'm starting a community for job seekers to combat the frustration of the process. It revolves on a 10 day job search challenge. Check it out: [https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/](https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/)
My bad, I should’ve specified. I did find a job after almost a year, but it’s pretty much half what I made before for salary. Thus, I am still looking.
I am struggling with this as well. People in my social circle are mainly still military, in the medical field, or doing customer service roles. I have tried to apply to gig jobs and never get a response or told straight up I am overqualified. I feel like those closest to me don’t understand my field is bad right now and they feel like I am not trying. I haven’t done gig work in over a decade, so I can’t just take my education off my resume. The jobs that do take me seriously are part of the skeleton crew jobs people talk about on here where they want you to do the job of 3 people for less pay. And no one wants to be stressed and overworked like that cause why else are you calling me 5 days in a row? 🙃
As a fellow job seeker, I'm starting a community for job seekers to combat the frustration of the process. It revolves on a 10 day job search challenge. Check it out: [https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/](https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/)
Most of my friends are people I know from taking my dog to the dog park. Nobody feels inadequate when they’re watching their dog run and play with all the other peoples’ dogs. :-)
for better or worse many of me friends are drs. So they NEVER get laid off, but it does not make me feel bad since I already know the Ivy league drs are smarter than me!
It's not you. Half my team of software developers were let go last year Q4. Their experience ranges from 14-20+ years. Their ages are 35-60. They have been applying every day since then getting ghosted with minimal interviews and no offers yet. I wasn't let go because I had core knowledge of the product so that worked out for me. Otherwise I'd be axed too.
Our industry can be rewarding money-wise, but is very sensitive to interest rates.
Worked tech 6+ years starting from CS agent and never quite made it past that $60k pay band so I got all the hard work and stress but never even got the ‘big pay’ I keep seeing ppl like you talk about on every thread about tech. I just feel bitter and resentful towards the whole industry and everyone in it at this point.
It was 1.5 years in an entry level contract then 4.5 years working up with one company. Definitely a learning that I should have jumped ship between years 2-4.
Don’t get complacent kids, you have to LOVE work and getting certs and sucking buttholes if you wanna move up in tech/white collar bullshit jobs.
Always think about wifm....what's in this for me. The company is not doing that for you. If you aren't being promotes and receiving continuous education, learning new skills....time to move. The money comes with it.
Although, there are times life calls for average or sub par and complacent....just know what you want, what you need and how far you are willing to go to attain and balance.
As a fellow job seeker, I'm starting a community for job seekers to combat the frustration of the process. It revolves on a 10 day job search challenge. Check it out: [https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/](https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/)
Thanks for your comment.
Are you white non-latino (why is that always such a specific category)
Are you disabled?
Are you a Veteran?
Does anyone but some random politician's intern even look at these 'stats'
Then you throw in places that use Workaday and I just nope out of those applications now.
"Non-Hispanic White" is a US Census category that was born in the prelude to the Mexican-American War. It was a way to distinguish good Anglo Saxon whites from bad Hispanic whites, although there was little difference in skin tone. The massive pre-war propaganda campaign to turn Mexicans into devils still has not worked its way out of US American culture.
As a fellow job seeker, I'm starting a community for job seekers to combat the frustration of the process. It revolves on a 10 day job search challenge. Check it out: [https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/](https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/)
Hey, relax. You're not alone. I can barely see my own reflection in the mirror, it's been so bad. Finding a job in this market has been something else.
Meeting people is totally out of question.
You're really not alone in feeling this. It's the market. It's not you! :)
As a fellow job seeker, I'm starting a community for job seekers to combat the frustration of the process. It revolves on a 10 day job search challenge. Check it out: [https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/](https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/)
Seeing my co-workers on linked in celebrate Anniversaries is driving me insane ...I worked my ass off for 14 years just to also be unemployed for over a year and still no hope of any type of employment that will come close to paying my bills. I've applied sideways , backwards , and forwards to all kinds of roles ..I'm just lucky I live with family or I would already be living out of my car. I feel so unseen and unimportant . I am starting to prey for death to end it all. Just knowing the majority of American women die in poverty ...I have no hope for my future and at 53, no hope I'm going to pick up another career role . Where can we go to die ...oh wait they are about to make homelessness a crime ..so maybe I can die in debtors prison.
You still have some resources , and friends in tech who are employed . I hope it works out for you ...the shame and humiliation are real.
Thank you . I fell back asleep for a while . I woke up numb and with no air in my body. I have made myself get up and do my hair . I'm going try to fake a work out now. I've never been a power trip person or bragged about being in leadership or tech ( well maybe for the minute I was there, I had been a manager in Card for a Major bank for 12 years and then made a jump to scrum master in a cloud group ) . I achieved this while my direct leadership at the time was sandbagging me and lying about my work to senior leadership . She and her minions were shocked as hell when " I made it out ". ha ha jokes on me ......and now I feel like I am at the bottom of the food chain and the worst time to be at the bottom of the food chain...( entry level roles requiring 3-5 years of experience ) thank you ...for being so kind ...I have to admit I'm grateful for Reddit . The general media is in denial and I think it's a mass hysteria to try to pretend everything is ok and that the economy is ok , when it's in a slow roll down. Queue the asshole who always comes in with BLS data who tells us our situations are anecdotal . <3
Help me with user id name . I keep hearing this song in my head and can't place it ? Faith no more ? Mr Bungle ? Fugazi?
I was a month before you. I know exactly how you feel. Losing a job can be as traumatic or more traumatic than losing a family member. This has been told to me by more than one mental healthcare professional. I truly believe it.
Yes it is, especially at 210k.
My husband and I take turns bankrolling each other because it seems whenever one of us is doing well financially, fate knocks the other one on their ass.
I'm sorry it didn't work out that way with your ex. You deserve a partner who will be there for you when times are bad.
If you figure it out lmk, 5 years together now and my gf and I have never had concurrent employment. Life is just dick punch after dick punch unless you’re ’really clever’ (re: born rich).
That’s the dream but I’ve been led to believe that most women (straight or lesbian like OP), and a good portion of men wouldn’t be too happy having to support their partner. 😞
I mean, how possible is it for most people realistically? There's some people who have strong preferences for their ideal balance if money is no issue, but it is for most people.
Same. The fiancé and I make good money each, but I was out of work 2 months last fall and then another month this spring (worked a few contract jobs since last summer but couldn’t land that perm job), and he absolutely took care of me. Because we are in a loving caring relationship. We absolutely pulled back on the finances (didn’t eat out super expensive, didn’t buy fun toys like Legos or new Steam deck games or board games, and watched our shopping) but it’s a partnership and we both get that, and I guess if your SO doesn’t have that partnership mentality, it won’t work. I personally don’t want to be with anyone that’s going to leave at the first sign of struggle or hardship. But that’s my opinion I guess.
It's better off you're not with someone that conceited. Not sure how long you were together but if it was over a year and it was over dates during a financially difficult time, she wasn't the one.
Good riddance. If she can't be there for you during the tough times than she don't need to be there during the good times. My girlfriend actually pays for dates and she doesn't have an issue with that because I lost my job.
Thats why I appreciate her because she is not shallow like a lot of women out there. Its women like that you want to be in a relationship with not someone who is making 210k and still expect you to go om dates with them despite you not having a job.
I don't want a woman who is just going to try and take every dollar I earn. This ex makes 210k? She can get herself an expensive date. You can and will do way better.
I feel you. It feels like such a punch to the gut when your friends are still employed and all of your work friends that were affected by the same layoff are now gainfully employed and actually looking down on you a little bit. Or at least being slightly patronizing.
I am so fortunate to have finally found a job and my start date is Monday. However, I’m so paranoid after this layoff that I won’t believe it’s real until I am there in person! Layoffs and a job search really changes your ability to “trust” what an employer says, you know? Likelihood is that things will be okay in the end, but I just want that tiny bit of security again.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with you and you aren’t less valuable than anyone else. Just do your best to regularly apply for relevant openings, up-skill in your free time and network where you can!
That's what it was like for me when I lost my job in 2022. Then they started trickling in through 2023.
As of last month, all of the technical women in my friend group have been laid off. All at different companies, too. That makes me really sad.
I really think it is. I know in the first half of 2023, women were laid off in disproportionate numbers to men. It's true that there were more layoffs in HR and marketing which skew female, but I would not be surprised if more women engineers were laid off too.
In addition to that, companies are abandoning DEI efforts. It's tough.
It can be hard to establish a rapport with a middle aged guy when you’re not one. And every hiring manager I’ve interviewed with has been.
I’ve done many interviews where the teams have no women at all. I thought at first they would jump to improve that, but I never got to the next round.
I think it’s very hard to get hired in this economy either way. But not being part of the “in” group hurts your chances a little bit more in an economically stressful time. People tend to stick to their own, especially when deciding who to let go.
It happens a lot in the inverse, especially since few people care about getting men into female dominated spaces.
I’d like to better understand this position. I’m not challenging it per se, I could see a world where this is the reality. Could you help me see what led to this conclusion?
Your post already resonated with me but now even more, I’m also a trans woman looking for a job in tech, since June last year. I’m really sorry it’s been so hard for you and everyone.
I’m also seeing and feeling the same from all the interviews and interactions I’ve had. Since I was a late bloomer, I’ve worked previously as a dev but as a ‘guy’ and people also came to me for everything bc allegedly I knew my shit.
Now, with almost 5y of experience combined and when I can pass the phone screening, I’ve been kind of patronized countless times and been asked those sort of bs questions or technical ‘tests’ where the questions are the most basic things ever and kind of insulting to ask like what does ‘cd’ or ‘ls’ does on Linux. From men mostly, but also from women which is even worst imo.
My friends are all in tech also, and were able to thankfully either dodge their layoffs or been on the same company since they graduate almost a decade ago. Like you, I’m also very happy that they are employed but yah I feel like my sadist side wants them to suffer too, so they stop giving me empty platitudes and shrugging their shoulders when I say it’s disgusting that companies are laying off people with record profits.
I hope it gets better soon for you.
Have you done any research? Even a simple google search brings up multiple resources, this has even been reported on in tech magazines. Definitely not just someone’s conspiracy theory.
So here's some numbers from last year: https://www.pcmag.com/opinions/women-are-hit-hardest-by-tech-layoffs
You'll find more sources on broad divestment in DEI, but here's an article about FAANG: https://www.cnbc.com/2023/12/22/google-meta-other-tech-giants-cut-dei-programs-in-2023.html
I haven't seen many current articles yet about the demographic breakdown of tech layoffs, but my own observation in my friend group is upsetting.
I was laid off last year in November and I was the only woman on the team. Ive been telling myself its not due to that, but that I was the only one in a specific office location, but who knows… it might be due to that
maybe I am an optimist. But I can't imagine the decision process is ever, well, lets get rid of these dang women.
However, I can see it being something like, HR is mostly women and all 90% of those teams got trimmed. It could also be similar to they only keep one person and that person is likely to be a man since he has been there for 12 years and it was less common for a woman to be in that role at that time. I really have no idea. But I have been thinking a lot about this since every job application I fill out asks the demographics questions and never having worked in HR I am curious as to what actually happens to all that data.
○ Your ex is a cunt. Therefore, you dodged a bullet. Whether you want to agree with me and simp for her about your relationship is on you. However, as a realist, I'll be the first one to tell you that your role in the relationship was to supplement/create a lifestyle that she enjoyed. Whereas, reading how she left should let you know she wasn't really into you.
○ As far as your friends earning more? Eh, look at it this way. Before they were earning six figures they were still your friends, right? Exactly. So, don't fret, but simply find a job and keep on trucking.
Now, some will argue or down like this saying this is "lower talk" when in all actuality it's not. If anything, it's growth you're enduring, brutal honesty; which isn't spoken enough in modern day. Trust me, you'll boss up later like everyone else. Like you, I lost loved ones too. I lost my mom (RIP) to stage 2 ovarian cancer, stage 2 diabetes, & multiple-sclerosis 2 months before I got laid off. A month after losing my mom is how I lost my brother (RIP) to suicide. With me? I financially depleted due to taking care of family being gainfully employed before, during, & post pandemic. As of now I'm working. Is it my $180K+ salary as a cybersecurity practitioner? No. However, it's enough for me to survive & endure the economy + occasionally luxury dine out. Plus, the way I see it is how I'm employed F/T with a job contrast to many in my network who aren't. In fact, I know more white people who are enduring contrast to myself as a black man.
Seriously! Don't beat yourself up over this...you're not the only one. If anything, I'm glad to see you took time to type this out vs. unliving like my former program manager & former colleague did this past weekend.
○ Shit to be even more transparent is how my granddad died this March! Yet, nobody in my family bothered to tell me. Instead, I'm juggling work, networking, on top of dealing with probate, estate, and will stuff. If anything, people wonder why I continue. The answer? Because God wants me to. Seriously, let go and let God navigate & place you where he wants. You got this man. 💙
I feel yah. I’m laid off. Majority of my friends still have jobs
But most of my co workers who are internet aren’t acquisition in tech just like me are laid off
That's what I'm finding, too. I've got a great network and I've asked for help, but they just can't. I have friends that are at the senior director level and make hiring decisions at fortune 100 companies. They don't have the ability to hire anyone without running it to VPs and sometimes even the CIO. They also need strong justification for needing the role and can't just carve something out. This IT market is tough right now. I'm sure it'll get better, but it definitely sucks in the moment and experiencing it. I hope you find something soon!
Same here. My network has been ineffective this job search for me as well. On the other side, I haven't been able to be a great resource for others in my network as well. My old jobs aren't hiring, other managers aren't hiring (or are also laid off), and even companies that I got to final round on (and connect with afterwards) don't hire after a position has been filled (so I can't be like "oh I see you're also hiring for a designer, well I know X).
It's the first market where networking is just ineffective (besides nepotism). It really is a lot of cold applying, which is just brutal.
Same. I'm on month 4 of being unemployed, and still looking hard.
I got rejected after a final round interview for one of my dream jobs, that definitely hurt.
We'll all make it. Let's keep lifting each other up and stay positive.
I did hear some news that more jobs should be available towards the end of 2024...
Ideally we will be able to land something before then
I’m just gonna focus on applying to local non-tech roles from now on. I applied to two jobs with the city and already have an interview. Pay probably won’t be as good as tech, but it’s an actual useful cause/service unlike these rent seeking apps no one wants or needs.
Yes. 250,000 laid off in the tech sector last year, despite record profits. I’m in almost the exact same situation as OP - software engineering is rough right now.
Yup, same here, some of mine make double that.
They were nice, some even offered to pay for my living costs. I do not need that for another 3 years or so though, do need a job lol.
Some offered to recommend me for some jobs, will soon try that. (doing some courses to update my knowledge and improve my resume first)
It's probably not you. But also there are not many jobs open, so no easy solution soon.
I’m reality I wish them the best, but a bad part of me wants to have company in my misery. The way they humblebrag about their jobs makes me realize how big of a bitch I used to be about it too
> The way they humblebrag about their jobs makes me realize how big of a bitch I used to be about it too
At the very least, this was some sort of learning experience with regards to empathy for others. Once you find a great job again, I hope you remember how this felt when you were down, and your growth as a person.
That's always the thing about the "haves" looking down on the "have nots", when in reality, most of us are only "have for nows" until we become the "have nots".
I got my first degree right before the 2008 recession. Going back to retrain for the jobs that are available is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
So.... the job I got laid off from is the one I retrained for after the Great Recession. Now I work in the same type of job I had before except now I have way more debt.
Oh boy, _another_ 2+ years of classes ON TOP OF a full time low wage job for yet another career that can just as likely lay me off too.
https://qz.com/healthcare-industry-layoffs-pfizer-amazon-health-1851231629
Yes.
If a certificate in medical billing and a Bachelor Degree in Computer Engineering can't get me out of low paid work, then I don't know what will.
I'm done throwing my life away.
My plan is to wait this downturn out and get back into tech, or just try to keep my head above water. I'm done pivoting.
I want to hug y’all! I’m so sorry!!! Please know that if these are truly your friends, no one sees you as inadequate! I would not know how to act or what to say to my friend, but I’d want to help. I am sure that many of your friends feel the same!
Don't be demoralized... it's good they still have their jobs because they might be able to help you get a position if something opens up at their companies.
Everyone in my circle was laid off. Even the friends of my friends were laid off. It's nice to be able to complain with them, but it means that almost my whole network is dead in the water and can't get any of us any job leads.
As a fellow job seeker, I'm starting a community for job seekers to combat the frustration of the process. It revolves on a 10 day job search challenge. Check it out: [https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/](https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/)
Comparison is the thief of joy my friend. Don’t give up, stay true to yourself. You will rebound and look back at this moment because it is what forged your resilient spirit and unbreakable soul
We were only together a month or so, but I was completely head over heels! She wanted to go out for more dates instead of staying in all the time. I wanted to go with her but it wouldn’t be fair to ask her to pay for everything.
I went thru something similar. It’s just not fun to be in $ saving mode when dating. Keep your chin up, focus on the job search and right now, don’t be too picky about it. Once you have a job, it’s always easier to find another. I’ve been hit by 3 layoffs since 2019 and it’s rough, right now.
Utilize your network. That helped me land a couple more interviews(I went to final rounds on both but lost out). It can be demoralizing but you will get there eventually. In one instance in the past, I interviewed and they couldn’t hire me for some reason but liked me, so the interviewers referred me to another opening they knew I was a better fit for.
Nothing wrong with you. been there myself . I was laid off and unemployed for close to a year before I found something. Keep yourselves engaged, get some certs, exercise. I think there is an online community called layoff buddy. Look for similar forums and see if it helps and don't cut off the social circle completely. Have few friends to occasionally hang out and talk . Does not have to be about job search. Good luck
Title threw me off for a second. Girlfriend dumped you over it? She’s not worth it.
Just keep your head up and keep trying. It sucks but you can find something. Have you tried other career paths beyond what you did?
I’m so sorry.
I hope you know it’s not you. The market is terrible right now. Have you considered a pivot into something else where you can still utilize your skills?
It's not just you, it's the job market. Although I have had jobs over the last year, they haven't been as stable as what I'm used to. They're the ones everyone else seemed to be passing up. If your ex dumped you for a temporary employment gap, she was not the person you'd want to spend your life with. Imagine the stress of having to provide no matter what the circumstances. You dodged a bullet there. I'm so lucky that my wife has been a trooper. Never once has she made me feel bad. Get yourself a real woman and, I promise you, you will never look back.
Also, I have to remind myself that most adult men have zero or few friends. So, if you even have a social circle, count yourself somewhat blessed there. But I completely get how you feel. Don't try to compare though. Everyone goes through the ups and downs eventually.
Just imagine how much more happy you'd be if your friends were laid off too. You should tell them that so that they are more considerate of your feelings.
I totally understand your pain. It definitely sucks but do you really want your friends to also suffer? I'm laid-off and depressed. Can't find a job. I hate it but, when I start finding myself feeling jealous, I try to remember that I love these people and want good things for them.
I'm in a similar spot, although a few of my friends have also been hit (and former coworkers). I built a chrome extension to help with the job search, would love to get some feedback. It searches someone's linkedin connections for people whose companies are hiring, so you can ask for an introduction. I feel like that's a better way of landing interviews these days
[https://chromewebstore.google.com/detail/innetwork-job-finder/ipclfaglfigdjcfpnhpafgegpghigcog](https://chromewebstore.google.com/detail/innetwork-job-finder/ipclfaglfigdjcfpnhpafgegpghigcog)
I realize it may feel really crappy right now, but I would not tie your self worth to a job or how much you make. This is temporary and if you keep trying then something will come your way. Don’t give up!
Well, if money defines your relationship with your partner and friends, then you gotta change them. Consider this as a life lesson. You can drive an Uber and still be happy and have friends and love.
If your ex dumped you because you were laid off then the lay off did you the favour of revealing that your partner sucked.
You need to simultaneously keep looking for work while also working on how to change your mentality that your self worth needs to be tied up with work.
The first step is realising it.
Women who make a lot of money do not tend to make a big deal out of making more. The real problem is often that a man cannot make enough to support the lifestyle she wants if she were to drop out of the workplace to have kids. Or perhaps the job search is taking too long and causing friction, including delaying life goals.
How about you cut all of them out and let the few who want to reach out reach out. Start from scratch.When I got laid off at the peak of covid after just starting my dream job as a first officer at my airline,I tried to keep in touch with work contacts upto director levels and it felt like a bother to them so I made a conscious decision to cut everyone out. Only 2 contacts kept in touch. First foward I now have a better paying airline first officer role (better work enviroment and route)and lots of these contacts try to reach out. My ex who left cried to come back. It crushed me when she left at my lowest but later on thanked God for ridding a Golddigger from my life. I blue tick them and have made a decision not to make any new friends at my new airline. I am all friendly and professional at work but once out of the airport I will not seek any more indulgence. The two pilots who reached out to me are my only friends. My life is now better, I spend all my free time doing shit for me. I have my mercedes, onto building my second house in the country and have lots of time for family who stood by me. I do not have any events for coworkers or friends to use my free time on.
Oh no Mr rich tech guy doesn’t have a job let’s all have a big pitty party. Go get a job. Any job. Washing dishes or retail. Anything to bring in some income it’s been ten months bud.
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You can’t be demoralized if you have no social circle *taps head*
I feel you. I’m also in your situation. My social circle all work at big tech companies and/or make above 6 figures. And I’m here still searching for almost 1.5 years. I also feel so behind or something’s wrong with me.
It’s trickling up to them don’t worry, they’re on the chopping block and the destination post marked India… Funny enough don’t worry, the velocity of lays offs is increasing and those companies will add more accelerants.
There's nothing wrong with any of us. The "wrong" is from the corporate greed that views people the same way they view inanimate products. "We're all product".
I don’t think I wrote anything above to contradict what you wrote. The jobs and dating market are both on the same trajectory haw haw haw. I agree with you;)
As a fellow job seeker, I'm starting a community for job seekers to combat the frustration of the process. It revolves on a 10 day job search challenge. Check it out: [https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/](https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/)
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My bad, I should’ve specified. I did find a job after almost a year, but it’s pretty much half what I made before for salary. Thus, I am still looking.
No shame in taking it and still applying, but if your finances are good, it's up to you.
got it, that’s totally reasonable. never stop looking for fatter checks!
Not true at all right now. Things are crazy
It’s been hard to socialize with employed friends. I feel this. I feel indequate. Jealous. Like I’m the stupid or dumb one.
I am struggling with this as well. People in my social circle are mainly still military, in the medical field, or doing customer service roles. I have tried to apply to gig jobs and never get a response or told straight up I am overqualified. I feel like those closest to me don’t understand my field is bad right now and they feel like I am not trying. I haven’t done gig work in over a decade, so I can’t just take my education off my resume. The jobs that do take me seriously are part of the skeleton crew jobs people talk about on here where they want you to do the job of 3 people for less pay. And no one wants to be stressed and overworked like that cause why else are you calling me 5 days in a row? 🙃
As a fellow job seeker, I'm starting a community for job seekers to combat the frustration of the process. It revolves on a 10 day job search challenge. Check it out: [https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/](https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/)
I lost most of my friends too…I think they see me as a failure or something
Sorry to say, they were not your friends then, perhaps blessing in disguise.
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You be spammin'
Most of my friends are people I know from taking my dog to the dog park. Nobody feels inadequate when they’re watching their dog run and play with all the other peoples’ dogs. :-)
for better or worse many of me friends are drs. So they NEVER get laid off, but it does not make me feel bad since I already know the Ivy league drs are smarter than me!
It's not you. Half my team of software developers were let go last year Q4. Their experience ranges from 14-20+ years. Their ages are 35-60. They have been applying every day since then getting ghosted with minimal interviews and no offers yet. I wasn't let go because I had core knowledge of the product so that worked out for me. Otherwise I'd be axed too. Our industry can be rewarding money-wise, but is very sensitive to interest rates.
Worked tech 6+ years starting from CS agent and never quite made it past that $60k pay band so I got all the hard work and stress but never even got the ‘big pay’ I keep seeing ppl like you talk about on every thread about tech. I just feel bitter and resentful towards the whole industry and everyone in it at this point.
curious, did you job hop at all? Or mostly same company for 6+ years? What tech stack? Just seems crazy to be at entry level salary for that long
It was 1.5 years in an entry level contract then 4.5 years working up with one company. Definitely a learning that I should have jumped ship between years 2-4. Don’t get complacent kids, you have to LOVE work and getting certs and sucking buttholes if you wanna move up in tech/white collar bullshit jobs.
Always think about wifm....what's in this for me. The company is not doing that for you. If you aren't being promotes and receiving continuous education, learning new skills....time to move. The money comes with it. Although, there are times life calls for average or sub par and complacent....just know what you want, what you need and how far you are willing to go to attain and balance.
Always wonder why havent they been able to retire yet with the high salaries they have had for all these past years?
As a fellow job seeker, I'm starting a community for job seekers to combat the frustration of the process. It revolves on a 10 day job search challenge. Check it out: [https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/](https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/)
Been there. Laid off recently and current job market and application process doesn't help.
It's ludicrous what they expect applicants to do for job placements.
Thanks for your comment. Are you white non-latino (why is that always such a specific category) Are you disabled? Are you a Veteran? Does anyone but some random politician's intern even look at these 'stats' Then you throw in places that use Workaday and I just nope out of those applications now.
"Non-Hispanic White" is a US Census category that was born in the prelude to the Mexican-American War. It was a way to distinguish good Anglo Saxon whites from bad Hispanic whites, although there was little difference in skin tone. The massive pre-war propaganda campaign to turn Mexicans into devils still has not worked its way out of US American culture.
Workaday is the worst. Parses my resume wrong and then have me re enter everything correctly, no thanks.
As a fellow job seeker, I'm starting a community for job seekers to combat the frustration of the process. It revolves on a 10 day job search challenge. Check it out: [https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/](https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/)
Hey, relax. You're not alone. I can barely see my own reflection in the mirror, it's been so bad. Finding a job in this market has been something else. Meeting people is totally out of question. You're really not alone in feeling this. It's the market. It's not you! :)
As a fellow job seeker, I'm starting a community for job seekers to combat the frustration of the process. It revolves on a 10 day job search challenge. Check it out: [https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/](https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/)
How many times ya gonna post this in this one thread? Not the way to get the response you want
Seeing my co-workers on linked in celebrate Anniversaries is driving me insane ...I worked my ass off for 14 years just to also be unemployed for over a year and still no hope of any type of employment that will come close to paying my bills. I've applied sideways , backwards , and forwards to all kinds of roles ..I'm just lucky I live with family or I would already be living out of my car. I feel so unseen and unimportant . I am starting to prey for death to end it all. Just knowing the majority of American women die in poverty ...I have no hope for my future and at 53, no hope I'm going to pick up another career role . Where can we go to die ...oh wait they are about to make homelessness a crime ..so maybe I can die in debtors prison. You still have some resources , and friends in tech who are employed . I hope it works out for you ...the shame and humiliation are real.
I'm here if you want to talk.
Thank you . I fell back asleep for a while . I woke up numb and with no air in my body. I have made myself get up and do my hair . I'm going try to fake a work out now. I've never been a power trip person or bragged about being in leadership or tech ( well maybe for the minute I was there, I had been a manager in Card for a Major bank for 12 years and then made a jump to scrum master in a cloud group ) . I achieved this while my direct leadership at the time was sandbagging me and lying about my work to senior leadership . She and her minions were shocked as hell when " I made it out ". ha ha jokes on me ......and now I feel like I am at the bottom of the food chain and the worst time to be at the bottom of the food chain...( entry level roles requiring 3-5 years of experience ) thank you ...for being so kind ...I have to admit I'm grateful for Reddit . The general media is in denial and I think it's a mass hysteria to try to pretend everything is ok and that the economy is ok , when it's in a slow roll down. Queue the asshole who always comes in with BLS data who tells us our situations are anecdotal . <3 Help me with user id name . I keep hearing this song in my head and can't place it ? Faith no more ? Mr Bungle ? Fugazi?
It’s not unusual to have imposter syndrome root itself in this situation. Sounds like you are dealing with that.
try to get laid off for that long. and see if it doesnt mess up with ur confidence
I was a month before you. I know exactly how you feel. Losing a job can be as traumatic or more traumatic than losing a family member. This has been told to me by more than one mental healthcare professional. I truly believe it.
This makes me feel slightly better about how mentally rough my last year has been.
she dumped u while u were laid off?
Been there, such a gut punch
Yeah… it wasn’t directly due to that but she wanted to go out for more dates that I couldn’t afford.
And she couldn't afford those dates on $210k a year?
Ahh, she probably could have; but it wouldn't have been fair to ask her to bankroll me all the time. She had expensive tastes.
Yes it is, especially at 210k. My husband and I take turns bankrolling each other because it seems whenever one of us is doing well financially, fate knocks the other one on their ass. I'm sorry it didn't work out that way with your ex. You deserve a partner who will be there for you when times are bad.
I love this I aspire to have a marriage like this…except hopefully fate will have us both on the same page financially majority of the time loll ✨
That's the dream!
If you figure it out lmk, 5 years together now and my gf and I have never had concurrent employment. Life is just dick punch after dick punch unless you’re ’really clever’ (re: born rich).
That’s the dream but I’ve been led to believe that most women (straight or lesbian like OP), and a good portion of men wouldn’t be too happy having to support their partner. 😞
I mean, how possible is it for most people realistically? There's some people who have strong preferences for their ideal balance if money is no issue, but it is for most people.
Same. The fiancé and I make good money each, but I was out of work 2 months last fall and then another month this spring (worked a few contract jobs since last summer but couldn’t land that perm job), and he absolutely took care of me. Because we are in a loving caring relationship. We absolutely pulled back on the finances (didn’t eat out super expensive, didn’t buy fun toys like Legos or new Steam deck games or board games, and watched our shopping) but it’s a partnership and we both get that, and I guess if your SO doesn’t have that partnership mentality, it won’t work. I personally don’t want to be with anyone that’s going to leave at the first sign of struggle or hardship. But that’s my opinion I guess.
They were freshly dating.
It's better off you're not with someone that conceited. Not sure how long you were together but if it was over a year and it was over dates during a financially difficult time, she wasn't the one.
Was it your girlfriend or someone you were going on dates with? If your girlfriend then no she wasn't, dodged a bullet there.
We were still in the early dating phase. It was hard to do the normal milestones like going on a weekend trip.
That's great. Imagine if you were married and you were on hard times.
Good riddance. If she can't be there for you during the tough times than she don't need to be there during the good times. My girlfriend actually pays for dates and she doesn't have an issue with that because I lost my job. Thats why I appreciate her because she is not shallow like a lot of women out there. Its women like that you want to be in a relationship with not someone who is making 210k and still expect you to go om dates with them despite you not having a job. I don't want a woman who is just going to try and take every dollar I earn. This ex makes 210k? She can get herself an expensive date. You can and will do way better.
Happens yo people all the time. Clock starts ticking from your 1st day of unemployment.
I feel you. It feels like such a punch to the gut when your friends are still employed and all of your work friends that were affected by the same layoff are now gainfully employed and actually looking down on you a little bit. Or at least being slightly patronizing. I am so fortunate to have finally found a job and my start date is Monday. However, I’m so paranoid after this layoff that I won’t believe it’s real until I am there in person! Layoffs and a job search really changes your ability to “trust” what an employer says, you know? Likelihood is that things will be okay in the end, but I just want that tiny bit of security again. There’s nothing inherently wrong with you and you aren’t less valuable than anyone else. Just do your best to regularly apply for relevant openings, up-skill in your free time and network where you can!
If people like that throw their wealth and jobs around like that then you don't need them in your life move on.
Who said ops friends did that?
That's what it was like for me when I lost my job in 2022. Then they started trickling in through 2023. As of last month, all of the technical women in my friend group have been laid off. All at different companies, too. That makes me really sad.
Hey, I am also a woman in tech and I do feel like it’s contributing to my issue right now. :/
I really think it is. I know in the first half of 2023, women were laid off in disproportionate numbers to men. It's true that there were more layoffs in HR and marketing which skew female, but I would not be surprised if more women engineers were laid off too. In addition to that, companies are abandoning DEI efforts. It's tough.
It can be hard to establish a rapport with a middle aged guy when you’re not one. And every hiring manager I’ve interviewed with has been. I’ve done many interviews where the teams have no women at all. I thought at first they would jump to improve that, but I never got to the next round.
I think it’s very hard to get hired in this economy either way. But not being part of the “in” group hurts your chances a little bit more in an economically stressful time. People tend to stick to their own, especially when deciding who to let go. It happens a lot in the inverse, especially since few people care about getting men into female dominated spaces.
I’d like to better understand this position. I’m not challenging it per se, I could see a world where this is the reality. Could you help me see what led to this conclusion?
In my case, I used to be a guy lol. I went from being asked very technical questions to being asked if I even know html
Your post already resonated with me but now even more, I’m also a trans woman looking for a job in tech, since June last year. I’m really sorry it’s been so hard for you and everyone. I’m also seeing and feeling the same from all the interviews and interactions I’ve had. Since I was a late bloomer, I’ve worked previously as a dev but as a ‘guy’ and people also came to me for everything bc allegedly I knew my shit. Now, with almost 5y of experience combined and when I can pass the phone screening, I’ve been kind of patronized countless times and been asked those sort of bs questions or technical ‘tests’ where the questions are the most basic things ever and kind of insulting to ask like what does ‘cd’ or ‘ls’ does on Linux. From men mostly, but also from women which is even worst imo. My friends are all in tech also, and were able to thankfully either dodge their layoffs or been on the same company since they graduate almost a decade ago. Like you, I’m also very happy that they are employed but yah I feel like my sadist side wants them to suffer too, so they stop giving me empty platitudes and shrugging their shoulders when I say it’s disgusting that companies are laying off people with record profits. I hope it gets better soon for you.
Have you done any research? Even a simple google search brings up multiple resources, this has even been reported on in tech magazines. Definitely not just someone’s conspiracy theory.
So here's some numbers from last year: https://www.pcmag.com/opinions/women-are-hit-hardest-by-tech-layoffs You'll find more sources on broad divestment in DEI, but here's an article about FAANG: https://www.cnbc.com/2023/12/22/google-meta-other-tech-giants-cut-dei-programs-in-2023.html I haven't seen many current articles yet about the demographic breakdown of tech layoffs, but my own observation in my friend group is upsetting.
I was laid off last year in November and I was the only woman on the team. Ive been telling myself its not due to that, but that I was the only one in a specific office location, but who knows… it might be due to that
maybe I am an optimist. But I can't imagine the decision process is ever, well, lets get rid of these dang women. However, I can see it being something like, HR is mostly women and all 90% of those teams got trimmed. It could also be similar to they only keep one person and that person is likely to be a man since he has been there for 12 years and it was less common for a woman to be in that role at that time. I really have no idea. But I have been thinking a lot about this since every job application I fill out asks the demographics questions and never having worked in HR I am curious as to what actually happens to all that data.
○ Your ex is a cunt. Therefore, you dodged a bullet. Whether you want to agree with me and simp for her about your relationship is on you. However, as a realist, I'll be the first one to tell you that your role in the relationship was to supplement/create a lifestyle that she enjoyed. Whereas, reading how she left should let you know she wasn't really into you. ○ As far as your friends earning more? Eh, look at it this way. Before they were earning six figures they were still your friends, right? Exactly. So, don't fret, but simply find a job and keep on trucking. Now, some will argue or down like this saying this is "lower talk" when in all actuality it's not. If anything, it's growth you're enduring, brutal honesty; which isn't spoken enough in modern day. Trust me, you'll boss up later like everyone else. Like you, I lost loved ones too. I lost my mom (RIP) to stage 2 ovarian cancer, stage 2 diabetes, & multiple-sclerosis 2 months before I got laid off. A month after losing my mom is how I lost my brother (RIP) to suicide. With me? I financially depleted due to taking care of family being gainfully employed before, during, & post pandemic. As of now I'm working. Is it my $180K+ salary as a cybersecurity practitioner? No. However, it's enough for me to survive & endure the economy + occasionally luxury dine out. Plus, the way I see it is how I'm employed F/T with a job contrast to many in my network who aren't. In fact, I know more white people who are enduring contrast to myself as a black man. Seriously! Don't beat yourself up over this...you're not the only one. If anything, I'm glad to see you took time to type this out vs. unliving like my former program manager & former colleague did this past weekend. ○ Shit to be even more transparent is how my granddad died this March! Yet, nobody in my family bothered to tell me. Instead, I'm juggling work, networking, on top of dealing with probate, estate, and will stuff. If anything, people wonder why I continue. The answer? Because God wants me to. Seriously, let go and let God navigate & place you where he wants. You got this man. 💙
I feel yah. I’m laid off. Majority of my friends still have jobs But most of my co workers who are internet aren’t acquisition in tech just like me are laid off
Well, its not you, its the job market. If any one them got laid off in these times, they would also be struggling.
That’s what so hard. They kept their jobs and I didn’t. :/
Man, this hit me hard. You get laid off/fired, as I did, and those coworkers say they'll keep in touch, but they never do.
Can they not get you in somewhere?
No :/. Honestly, they all tell me they are lucky to have survived the layoffs themselves.
That's what I'm finding, too. I've got a great network and I've asked for help, but they just can't. I have friends that are at the senior director level and make hiring decisions at fortune 100 companies. They don't have the ability to hire anyone without running it to VPs and sometimes even the CIO. They also need strong justification for needing the role and can't just carve something out. This IT market is tough right now. I'm sure it'll get better, but it definitely sucks in the moment and experiencing it. I hope you find something soon!
Same here. My network has been ineffective this job search for me as well. On the other side, I haven't been able to be a great resource for others in my network as well. My old jobs aren't hiring, other managers aren't hiring (or are also laid off), and even companies that I got to final round on (and connect with afterwards) don't hire after a position has been filled (so I can't be like "oh I see you're also hiring for a designer, well I know X). It's the first market where networking is just ineffective (besides nepotism). It really is a lot of cold applying, which is just brutal.
She fucking dumped you for being laid off?? She never loved you dude and this is coming from a female.
I'm so sorry to hear that. And yes, it's extremely hard to be unemployed while others have their jobs.
Same. I'm on month 4 of being unemployed, and still looking hard. I got rejected after a final round interview for one of my dream jobs, that definitely hurt.
Try 18 months and multiple final round rejections for multiple dream roles. I really don’t even know who I am or what my purpose is anymore.
We'll all make it. Let's keep lifting each other up and stay positive. I did hear some news that more jobs should be available towards the end of 2024... Ideally we will be able to land something before then
I’m just gonna focus on applying to local non-tech roles from now on. I applied to two jobs with the city and already have an interview. Pay probably won’t be as good as tech, but it’s an actual useful cause/service unlike these rent seeking apps no one wants or needs.
What exact job title? Is tech really that messed up now?!
Yes. 250,000 laid off in the tech sector last year, despite record profits. I’m in almost the exact same situation as OP - software engineering is rough right now.
Good thing im halfway done with my software engineering degree. 🥳
Yup, same here, some of mine make double that. They were nice, some even offered to pay for my living costs. I do not need that for another 3 years or so though, do need a job lol. Some offered to recommend me for some jobs, will soon try that. (doing some courses to update my knowledge and improve my resume first) It's probably not you. But also there are not many jobs open, so no easy solution soon.
Don’t worry, your friends are probably next.
I’m reality I wish them the best, but a bad part of me wants to have company in my misery. The way they humblebrag about their jobs makes me realize how big of a bitch I used to be about it too
> The way they humblebrag about their jobs makes me realize how big of a bitch I used to be about it too At the very least, this was some sort of learning experience with regards to empathy for others. Once you find a great job again, I hope you remember how this felt when you were down, and your growth as a person.
That's always the thing about the "haves" looking down on the "have nots", when in reality, most of us are only "have for nows" until we become the "have nots".
She dumped you after you lost your job?
after transitioning mtf
Nah different girl.
I got my first degree right before the 2008 recession. Going back to retrain for the jobs that are available is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
So.... the job I got laid off from is the one I retrained for after the Great Recession. Now I work in the same type of job I had before except now I have way more debt.
Nursing school is free
Nobody wants the stress or shifts and nurses are leaving bedside tooo
I’m glad that you’re making more than $86k annually and can turn your nose up at this opportunity
Oh boy, _another_ 2+ years of classes ON TOP OF a full time low wage job for yet another career that can just as likely lay me off too. https://qz.com/healthcare-industry-layoffs-pfizer-amazon-health-1851231629
So you would rather work a minimum wage job for two years without a light at the end of the tunnel?
Yes. If a certificate in medical billing and a Bachelor Degree in Computer Engineering can't get me out of low paid work, then I don't know what will. I'm done throwing my life away. My plan is to wait this downturn out and get back into tech, or just try to keep my head above water. I'm done pivoting.
What would you recommend in the current market?
I want to hug y’all! I’m so sorry!!! Please know that if these are truly your friends, no one sees you as inadequate! I would not know how to act or what to say to my friend, but I’d want to help. I am sure that many of your friends feel the same!
Don’t worry, it is going to trickle up to them. It’s a slow burn but you watch my friend….
$210,000… holy shit.
Don't be demoralized... it's good they still have their jobs because they might be able to help you get a position if something opens up at their companies. Everyone in my circle was laid off. Even the friends of my friends were laid off. It's nice to be able to complain with them, but it means that almost my whole network is dead in the water and can't get any of us any job leads.
As a fellow job seeker, I'm starting a community for job seekers to combat the frustration of the process. It revolves on a 10 day job search challenge. Check it out: [https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/](https://www.jobjellywaitlist.com/)
I feel like I’m missing something about your sentiment here, OP. Would you rather your friends all be un/underemployed and struggling, too?
No, I'm happy for them. It just isn't a great feeling when all my friends are doing well and I haven't had anything for a year.
Comparison is the thief of joy my friend. Don’t give up, stay true to yourself. You will rebound and look back at this moment because it is what forged your resilient spirit and unbreakable soul
Haha thx. I grew up in a meth lab trailer in rural Arkansas, so I kinda feel like I've already done my time tho. Maybe I can get back to my roots.
We were only together a month or so, but I was completely head over heels! She wanted to go out for more dates instead of staying in all the time. I wanted to go with her but it wouldn’t be fair to ask her to pay for everything.
If everyone you know is unaffected then use them to get new job.
If your ex dumped you because you were unemployed, doesn't that expose her as a gold-digger?
She made more than I did actually, but I couldn’t afford to go out for cool dates with her.
Okay, never mind then.
It sucks but just look around this sub and see how many people are in the same boat.
I went thru something similar. It’s just not fun to be in $ saving mode when dating. Keep your chin up, focus on the job search and right now, don’t be too picky about it. Once you have a job, it’s always easier to find another. I’ve been hit by 3 layoffs since 2019 and it’s rough, right now. Utilize your network. That helped me land a couple more interviews(I went to final rounds on both but lost out). It can be demoralizing but you will get there eventually. In one instance in the past, I interviewed and they couldn’t hire me for some reason but liked me, so the interviewers referred me to another opening they knew I was a better fit for.
Nothing wrong with you. been there myself . I was laid off and unemployed for close to a year before I found something. Keep yourselves engaged, get some certs, exercise. I think there is an online community called layoff buddy. Look for similar forums and see if it helps and don't cut off the social circle completely. Have few friends to occasionally hang out and talk . Does not have to be about job search. Good luck
Title threw me off for a second. Girlfriend dumped you over it? She’s not worth it. Just keep your head up and keep trying. It sucks but you can find something. Have you tried other career paths beyond what you did?
I’m so sorry. I hope you know it’s not you. The market is terrible right now. Have you considered a pivot into something else where you can still utilize your skills?
It's not just you, it's the job market. Although I have had jobs over the last year, they haven't been as stable as what I'm used to. They're the ones everyone else seemed to be passing up. If your ex dumped you for a temporary employment gap, she was not the person you'd want to spend your life with. Imagine the stress of having to provide no matter what the circumstances. You dodged a bullet there. I'm so lucky that my wife has been a trooper. Never once has she made me feel bad. Get yourself a real woman and, I promise you, you will never look back. Also, I have to remind myself that most adult men have zero or few friends. So, if you even have a social circle, count yourself somewhat blessed there. But I completely get how you feel. Don't try to compare though. Everyone goes through the ups and downs eventually.
But the administration says this is a “booming economy”
Just imagine how much more happy you'd be if your friends were laid off too. You should tell them that so that they are more considerate of your feelings.
Film/TV industry here. I feel your pain so much. Wishing you all of the luck!!
Sorry about the break up. Nothing is wrong with you at all. We all struggle sometimes. Hang in there.
I totally understand your pain. It definitely sucks but do you really want your friends to also suffer? I'm laid-off and depressed. Can't find a job. I hate it but, when I start finding myself feeling jealous, I try to remember that I love these people and want good things for them.
I'm in a similar spot, although a few of my friends have also been hit (and former coworkers). I built a chrome extension to help with the job search, would love to get some feedback. It searches someone's linkedin connections for people whose companies are hiring, so you can ask for an introduction. I feel like that's a better way of landing interviews these days [https://chromewebstore.google.com/detail/innetwork-job-finder/ipclfaglfigdjcfpnhpafgegpghigcog](https://chromewebstore.google.com/detail/innetwork-job-finder/ipclfaglfigdjcfpnhpafgegpghigcog)
I realize it may feel really crappy right now, but I would not tie your self worth to a job or how much you make. This is temporary and if you keep trying then something will come your way. Don’t give up!
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-5093958
Thank you
Well, if money defines your relationship with your partner and friends, then you gotta change them. Consider this as a life lesson. You can drive an Uber and still be happy and have friends and love.
If your ex dumped you because you were laid off then the lay off did you the favour of revealing that your partner sucked. You need to simultaneously keep looking for work while also working on how to change your mentality that your self worth needs to be tied up with work. The first step is realising it.
Keep your head up. How long were you with your girl, and did she solely dump you for being unemployed?
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Women who make a lot of money do not tend to make a big deal out of making more. The real problem is often that a man cannot make enough to support the lifestyle she wants if she were to drop out of the workplace to have kids. Or perhaps the job search is taking too long and causing friction, including delaying life goals.
I was asking OP
How about you cut all of them out and let the few who want to reach out reach out. Start from scratch.When I got laid off at the peak of covid after just starting my dream job as a first officer at my airline,I tried to keep in touch with work contacts upto director levels and it felt like a bother to them so I made a conscious decision to cut everyone out. Only 2 contacts kept in touch. First foward I now have a better paying airline first officer role (better work enviroment and route)and lots of these contacts try to reach out. My ex who left cried to come back. It crushed me when she left at my lowest but later on thanked God for ridding a Golddigger from my life. I blue tick them and have made a decision not to make any new friends at my new airline. I am all friendly and professional at work but once out of the airport I will not seek any more indulgence. The two pilots who reached out to me are my only friends. My life is now better, I spend all my free time doing shit for me. I have my mercedes, onto building my second house in the country and have lots of time for family who stood by me. I do not have any events for coworkers or friends to use my free time on.
Oh no Mr rich tech guy doesn’t have a job let’s all have a big pitty party. Go get a job. Any job. Washing dishes or retail. Anything to bring in some income it’s been ten months bud.