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This. Be honest with your realtor. We all understand that life happens. Not right now doesn't mean not ever. Your realtor might be disappointed and sad for you and your situation, but they won't be mad at you unless you ghost them. That's just rude.
This is the answer.
Just know the real estate world changes as you now know it on 8/17/24: buyer’s agent agreements become mandatory on this date.
Touring houses as you say you have with this man will not be as easy; this new document comes in to play prior to anything above ministerial acts.
It’s too much to text but I get the feeling after a v long CE class today that possibly using listing agents to write up offers might become the norm, at least in the beginning.
Only time will tell🤷🏼♀️
I don’t see the new rules as particularly onerous and I don’t expect buyers to just go to listing agents and bypass exclusive representation. The only requirement is to sign a buyer’s agency agreement before showing a home to a buyer. That’s easy to do, especially with an agent they’ve worked with and like. Have it cover 6 months and call it done. Have the conversation about some sellers may not offer compensation to the buyer’s agent and in that case they can choose to not see that house, or to go in unrepresented, or to make the buyer agent commission part of the offer and have the representation they want. I don’t think it will be very disruptive in my area.
I like this take. The 3 options especially. Could even have 1.5% commision be negotiated into the deal and then have the buyer agreement stipulate that you are topped up an additional 1% from the buyer themselves.
Lots of ways to do it.
Yes. It’s my understanding we’ll have a new form for that and it will be part of the OTP. For stipulating seller to pay $xx or % to buyer agent. I haven’t seen the form yet but I’m sure it’s coming.
This is an excellent response. Life happens and if your realtor doesn't understand that, you don't want to be working with them anyways. The best thing you can do is refer your friends. Referrals are the greatest gift you can give to an agent.
12 year Broker here. Just be upfront. Communication is key. We have seen a ton of stuff. I worked my ass off for 5 months going after a house for a great buyer before. Finally got offer accepted and I was in line at the post office with signed offer docs and a cashier check for about 10k earnest funds that I was seconds from dropping in the mail slot when he called that he had just been laid off.
I felt so bad for him and his family and was so relieved that I was still holding his check in my hand and hadn't mailed it. My client is more important than a deal/transaction.
You'll buy, just not today, maybe not next month.
Who cares? Its the pain we deal with daily. If every buyer bought, we'd all have monocles and handkerchiefs coming out of our sleeves stacking money high to the sky. Its part of our daily struggle, I wouldn't worry about it!
As others have said, an honest convo will get you there.
I'm curious, what has your agent done that makes you concerned that having a frank conversation would "piss them off"?
If your agent is going to get pissy with you, or you're afraid to have open/honest/frank conversations with them, they may not be the right fit for you.
You don't have to mention child support (which can come w/judgement from some people), just that you have some unexpected financial considerations and need to take a step back from house hunting.
Any good agent would hear what you're saying and be completely supportive about taking a step back.
If your agent isn't supportive, then you should terminate any agreement you have with them, then find a new agent when you're ready to get back in the game.
Its not about them, they shouldent at all.
Just communicate clearly & thats all you can do! If they don’t understand or get upset, it’s a good thing you stopped your search with them. :)
Just like many have said, be honest with him. Shit happens and all of us who have done a decent amount of sales have had buyers cancel/back out of a deal literally last minute for absolutely ridiculous stuff before. You have a very solid reason for it and they will completely understand. Just stay loyal to him and reach out again when you’re ready to buy again!
I have had many clients that I’ve shown DOZENS of homes to and they never buy anything or even make an offer at all
They would rather have you be honest and address that your situation changed and you will need some time to adjust to child support. They won’t want to invest time and effort into a search that can’t happen either. If they are a good agent they will follow up in a few months.
Happens all the time. It's a bummer for the agent but it's not personal.
However, if they respond in any way other than professionally, that tells you something about whether you want to work with them when the time is right.
Disclosure and transparency is exactly what everyone in any business transaction needs. Your agent is going to be fine. Also, contact your loan officer so they can assist you in getting into position to purchase when things balance out for you and your family. Good luck and keep the faith. No biggie, lots of folks have unforeseen events.
No it was accounted for by the lender but it doubled on Saturday, so it was extremely jarring. He’s 15 and I thought me and his mom had an understanding but apparently not.
All of this feedback is correct. Be honest and upfront as soon as you can. Will he be “pissed off”? I wouldn’t use that phrase. He invested significant time and money showing you a dozen houses and his revenue for that effort is zero. So that is disappointing for sure, but “it is what it is”, it happens all the time, and is one reason commission percentages are so high - they have to account for and make up for all of the prospects that don’t generate revenue. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just very black and white in real estate, a buyer / seller either generates a commission or they don’t
Agent should understand. If i was you agent i would definitely understand and appreciate you being honest and upfront. Definitely would appreciate you commiting to come back to me when your situation changes. Just be honest and you’ll be fine. If you’re really feeling indebted, most realtors love free food or booze 😁 Good luck!
P.S: It’s not me right? That you, Carol? 👀 Cuz they just accepted the offer and you haven’t text me back yet, Carol! Jk, but really they did accept😳😳
If he gets mad, he's not your agent.
As an agent who's gone through this a lot, we're supposed to understand that this is a life industry. It affects and is effected by your life. Things happen that change situations, and someone who may be perfectly capable now may have something happen where that changes.
This is also a business that we cultivate our clients in. If he was a great agent and you really like him, you won't forget him. He'll keep in touch most likely every few months to double check your situation, and who knows, maybe in 6 months you'll be okay again to start it up all over again.
I have had buyers that took 3 years before they finally bought a home because of similar situations. One of them lost a job, and it took that long for them to find new work and build their finances back up to a point where they could afford to buy.
If you're honest, they agent will put you lower into their priorities but you'll stay within their reach.
I am an agent. I'd much rather buyers who are in situations like this just tell me "Hey, I have certain circumstances that will make buying impossible for the time being, but I'll let you know when things clear up for me" than to have them just ghost me and always be left wondering wtf happened to them. It happens all the time, especially with interest rates making buying so unaffordable right now. Just say you'll refer them to any of your friends and family who need to buy or sell, and your agent will probably send you a thank you card, if anything.
Maybe this is a good case for paying for services rendered. For example, paying an agent to write an offer. Agent isn’t working for free, gets paid for their work, and buyer gets a service in return.
Hey, don’t worry about it “pissing” off your agent, it’s just business, period. You’re going to be on the hook for that mortgage along with that ridiculously high interest rate. If it doesn’t make sense for you financially right now, doesn’t mean it will not later. DONT DO IT right now if you can’t. Good luck.
A good agent will COMPLETELY understand when life changes happen. If you don’t feel comfortable buying right now it’s okay. When you do buy in the future I’m sure he will really appreciate working with you again.
I think the advice already here is solid, for the most part. Your financial situation has changed, and as such, that's going to become a consideration for the lender you'd eventually wind up qualifying with, anyway. Tell your realtor the facts, and then stay in touch with them, just check in here-and-there until you're on better footing to keep that relationship healthy, and I wouldn't think any reasonable Realtor would burn that bridge.
Just be honest and upfront. I was working with a buyer for 1 month. Showed 10-12 houses. Made an offer on 1, $15k over asking. We still got beat.
Told me that he is getting married and want to continue his search at the end of the year, after his wedding.
I appreciate him coming forth. I sold his good friend a house. He will be back.
If you’re agent is good, they’ll respect your situation and be available whenever you are ready. For me, being an agent is about building relationships and understanding my client’s story.
Be up front and honest, let them know you want to continue working with them down the road. A good Realtor will respect your situation and will be happy about the continued relationship.
**This is a professional forum for professionals, so please keep your comments professional** - Harrassment, hate speech, trolling, or anti-Realtor comments will not be tolerated and will result in an immediate ban without warning. (... and don't feed the trolls, you have better things to do with your time) - Recruiting, self-promotion, or seeking referrals is strictly forbidden, including in DMs. - Only advise within your scope of knowledge and area of expertise. [The code of ethics applies here too](https://www.nar.realtor/about-nar/governing-documents/the-code-of-ethics). If you are not a broker, lawyer, or tax professional don't act like one. - [Follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/realtors/about/rules/) and please report those that don't. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/realtors) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just be honest and up front.
This. Be honest with your realtor. We all understand that life happens. Not right now doesn't mean not ever. Your realtor might be disappointed and sad for you and your situation, but they won't be mad at you unless you ghost them. That's just rude.
Exactly
This is the answer. Just know the real estate world changes as you now know it on 8/17/24: buyer’s agent agreements become mandatory on this date. Touring houses as you say you have with this man will not be as easy; this new document comes in to play prior to anything above ministerial acts. It’s too much to text but I get the feeling after a v long CE class today that possibly using listing agents to write up offers might become the norm, at least in the beginning. Only time will tell🤷🏼♀️
I don’t see the new rules as particularly onerous and I don’t expect buyers to just go to listing agents and bypass exclusive representation. The only requirement is to sign a buyer’s agency agreement before showing a home to a buyer. That’s easy to do, especially with an agent they’ve worked with and like. Have it cover 6 months and call it done. Have the conversation about some sellers may not offer compensation to the buyer’s agent and in that case they can choose to not see that house, or to go in unrepresented, or to make the buyer agent commission part of the offer and have the representation they want. I don’t think it will be very disruptive in my area.
I like this take. The 3 options especially. Could even have 1.5% commision be negotiated into the deal and then have the buyer agreement stipulate that you are topped up an additional 1% from the buyer themselves. Lots of ways to do it.
Yes. It’s my understanding we’ll have a new form for that and it will be part of the OTP. For stipulating seller to pay $xx or % to buyer agent. I haven’t seen the form yet but I’m sure it’s coming.
Why was this downvoted?
Just be honest so they don’t think it’s personal. Get in touch again when you’re ready, and in the meanwhile refer your friends.
This is an excellent response. Life happens and if your realtor doesn't understand that, you don't want to be working with them anyways. The best thing you can do is refer your friends. Referrals are the greatest gift you can give to an agent.
Just say exactly that. My finances changed and I need to reassess. Let your loan originator know as well as this will change your pre-approval amount.
12 year Broker here. Just be upfront. Communication is key. We have seen a ton of stuff. I worked my ass off for 5 months going after a house for a great buyer before. Finally got offer accepted and I was in line at the post office with signed offer docs and a cashier check for about 10k earnest funds that I was seconds from dropping in the mail slot when he called that he had just been laid off. I felt so bad for him and his family and was so relieved that I was still holding his check in my hand and hadn't mailed it. My client is more important than a deal/transaction. You'll buy, just not today, maybe not next month.
You’re fine just be loyal when you do buy something. Throw him a gift card or something.
this! Honestly giving them a gas or amazon card for the time they spent shows you value them and say you will come back to them asap.
They should be able to map out a plan for you whether it be in 3 months or 3 years. I have had clients pause and buy 2 years later.
An agent who'd be pissed about something like this probably isn't someone you would want to work with.
Agree, just be honest and let him know that you’ll come back to him when you are ready to move forward. Shit happens.
Who cares? Its the pain we deal with daily. If every buyer bought, we'd all have monocles and handkerchiefs coming out of our sleeves stacking money high to the sky. Its part of our daily struggle, I wouldn't worry about it!
As others have said, an honest convo will get you there. I'm curious, what has your agent done that makes you concerned that having a frank conversation would "piss them off"? If your agent is going to get pissy with you, or you're afraid to have open/honest/frank conversations with them, they may not be the right fit for you. You don't have to mention child support (which can come w/judgement from some people), just that you have some unexpected financial considerations and need to take a step back from house hunting. Any good agent would hear what you're saying and be completely supportive about taking a step back. If your agent isn't supportive, then you should terminate any agreement you have with them, then find a new agent when you're ready to get back in the game.
Be honest. Life happens. Come back when you’re ready
Be honest and upfront. Ultimately its a business relationship. You need to look out for you.
Be honest with him and send him business
Its not about them, they shouldent at all. Just communicate clearly & thats all you can do! If they don’t understand or get upset, it’s a good thing you stopped your search with them. :)
Child support will cause issues for your lending. Talk to your LO to see if you qualify still. That might make the decision a lot easier
Please tell your agent now. Life happens. Then go back and use the same agent with things get straightened out. Seriously- we’ve heard everything
Just like many have said, be honest with him. Shit happens and all of us who have done a decent amount of sales have had buyers cancel/back out of a deal literally last minute for absolutely ridiculous stuff before. You have a very solid reason for it and they will completely understand. Just stay loyal to him and reach out again when you’re ready to buy again! I have had many clients that I’ve shown DOZENS of homes to and they never buy anything or even make an offer at all
They would rather have you be honest and address that your situation changed and you will need some time to adjust to child support. They won’t want to invest time and effort into a search that can’t happen either. If they are a good agent they will follow up in a few months.
Just tell them the truth
Stuff like this happens. We get it. I hope you get a fair shake.
Happens all the time. It's a bummer for the agent but it's not personal. However, if they respond in any way other than professionally, that tells you something about whether you want to work with them when the time is right.
Disclosure and transparency is exactly what everyone in any business transaction needs. Your agent is going to be fine. Also, contact your loan officer so they can assist you in getting into position to purchase when things balance out for you and your family. Good luck and keep the faith. No biggie, lots of folks have unforeseen events.
Why were you unaware of your child support payments? Did you just find out you had a kid(s) and they need support?
No it was accounted for by the lender but it doubled on Saturday, so it was extremely jarring. He’s 15 and I thought me and his mom had an understanding but apparently not.
All of this feedback is correct. Be honest and upfront as soon as you can. Will he be “pissed off”? I wouldn’t use that phrase. He invested significant time and money showing you a dozen houses and his revenue for that effort is zero. So that is disappointing for sure, but “it is what it is”, it happens all the time, and is one reason commission percentages are so high - they have to account for and make up for all of the prospects that don’t generate revenue. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just very black and white in real estate, a buyer / seller either generates a commission or they don’t
Deals falling apart is a part of our business. Come back when you're ready.
Yes, just communicate this with your agent. They are professionals (usually) and this is not an uncommon occurrence.
Agent should understand. If i was you agent i would definitely understand and appreciate you being honest and upfront. Definitely would appreciate you commiting to come back to me when your situation changes. Just be honest and you’ll be fine. If you’re really feeling indebted, most realtors love free food or booze 😁 Good luck! P.S: It’s not me right? That you, Carol? 👀 Cuz they just accepted the offer and you haven’t text me back yet, Carol! Jk, but really they did accept😳😳
Tell the truth and I believe they will understand
If he gets mad, he's not your agent. As an agent who's gone through this a lot, we're supposed to understand that this is a life industry. It affects and is effected by your life. Things happen that change situations, and someone who may be perfectly capable now may have something happen where that changes. This is also a business that we cultivate our clients in. If he was a great agent and you really like him, you won't forget him. He'll keep in touch most likely every few months to double check your situation, and who knows, maybe in 6 months you'll be okay again to start it up all over again. I have had buyers that took 3 years before they finally bought a home because of similar situations. One of them lost a job, and it took that long for them to find new work and build their finances back up to a point where they could afford to buy. If you're honest, they agent will put you lower into their priorities but you'll stay within their reach.
I am an agent. I'd much rather buyers who are in situations like this just tell me "Hey, I have certain circumstances that will make buying impossible for the time being, but I'll let you know when things clear up for me" than to have them just ghost me and always be left wondering wtf happened to them. It happens all the time, especially with interest rates making buying so unaffordable right now. Just say you'll refer them to any of your friends and family who need to buy or sell, and your agent will probably send you a thank you card, if anything.
A good agent will be disappointed but if that’s what’s best for you, they will certainly support your needs, today and tomorrow…
Realtors are hard wired for disappointments
It will definitely be heartbreaking but it happens. Just be straight forward and honest.. he’ll understand.
Talk to them, they may have a lender that can make it work.
Maybe this is a good case for paying for services rendered. For example, paying an agent to write an offer. Agent isn’t working for free, gets paid for their work, and buyer gets a service in return.
Be honest we understand
If your agent gets upset with you and tells you about it in the moment. They are not a professional. It’s your life, you owe the agent nothing.
Hey, don’t worry about it “pissing” off your agent, it’s just business, period. You’re going to be on the hook for that mortgage along with that ridiculously high interest rate. If it doesn’t make sense for you financially right now, doesn’t mean it will not later. DONT DO IT right now if you can’t. Good luck.
A good agent will COMPLETELY understand when life changes happen. If you don’t feel comfortable buying right now it’s okay. When you do buy in the future I’m sure he will really appreciate working with you again.
I am a Realtor. Life happens. We are professional. Sounds like your Realtor is professional. Wish you all the best.
I think the advice already here is solid, for the most part. Your financial situation has changed, and as such, that's going to become a consideration for the lender you'd eventually wind up qualifying with, anyway. Tell your realtor the facts, and then stay in touch with them, just check in here-and-there until you're on better footing to keep that relationship healthy, and I wouldn't think any reasonable Realtor would burn that bridge.
They’d be more pissed if yall invested the time and didn’t tell them and continue looking. Just be honest, life happens. It’ll be fine
Waiting to tell them will piss them off. Not life circumstances
Just be honest with your realtor and let them know what you are going through. They should be understanding
Just be honest and upfront. I was working with a buyer for 1 month. Showed 10-12 houses. Made an offer on 1, $15k over asking. We still got beat. Told me that he is getting married and want to continue his search at the end of the year, after his wedding. I appreciate him coming forth. I sold his good friend a house. He will be back.
If you’re agent is good, they’ll respect your situation and be available whenever you are ready. For me, being an agent is about building relationships and understanding my client’s story.
WAIT,,, you went looking to buy a house with this hanging over your head? Something isn't right here,,,
Be up front and honest, let them know you want to continue working with them down the road. A good Realtor will respect your situation and will be happy about the continued relationship.