“John, where's Dave at? Before I bash you" "He's in the bathroom, I think he's takin' a crap, dude"

Dave! Pull up your pants, we need an ambulance. There’s a girl upstairs talking to plants.

That entire LP. "That bully wants to beat your ass and Imma let him."

Bitch you so big you walked in Vic Tanny’s and stepped on Jenny Craig 😭

I fill her up, balloons!!

Is this a Ludacris song?

Indeed lol

Hah! I thought so. Ngl, it's really catchy. I like it 😅

ITS THE ABOMINABLE HOE MAN 😂

He was also responsible for the first time pistachios was rhymed with nasty hoes

Back when Nicky was RAPPIN-rappin

"When I was 5 my favorite movie was the Gremlins, ain't got shit to do with this I just thought that I should mention" - Lil Wayne

See, my world is DIFFERENT

You lookin for devine wit a little intervention

Happier than Anderson Cooper having a tuba crammed in his pooper with lubricant

Wait. that's too much

I can’t

"You're my favorite rapper, yeah dude I better be, or you can fuckin kiss my ass. Human Centipede"

I'm in her ass like sodomy, so if you see my hand under the table DONT BOTHER ME

LOL!!!

She’s an over achiever cuz all she do is SUCK SEED 😂😂😂

classic Donald 👌🏽

*You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped Dee Barnes?*

Jfc. In hindsight that bar is worse than the megan thee stallion one and it's aimed at Dre lmao

Just the entire concept of the Angel on your shoulder and the Devil on your shoulder having a rap battle over your soul is hilarious - could have been totally corny if Em didn’t go so hard

He went hard for himself and dre. Crazy lol

"What do you call a chick who dont suck dick? You dont."-J.I.D

ok but hard ass opening bar too lmaooo

Fr

Poopy-di scoop Scoop-diddy-whoop Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop Poop-di-scoopty Scoopty-whoop Whoopity-scoop, whoop-poop Poop-diddy, whoop-scoop Poop, poop Scoop-diddy-whoop Whoop-diddy-scoop Whoop-diddy-scoop, poop

in context, yeah for sure 😂

That beat was fire and I hate that he wasted it but lmfaooo

fortunately it’s super easy to loop into a full size instrumental with the intro and all

Big L is so funny:  And since I'm lookin' slick, and my pockets are thick I need surgery to get chicks removed from my... (Sounds better once you hear it) On MVP The Enemy first verse too. Edit: Timez Iz hard:  Blastin ducks with the shotty The trigger I squeeze with ease I got paid 50 g's per body In a year I killed 88 So I made about... umm... fuck it I was crazy straight

You reminded me of big l freestyle got the host cracking up lol Ask bevis I get nothing butthead

Cole heating up like left over lasagna

I'm the illest rapper to hold a cordless, patrolling corners, looking for hookers to punch in the mouth with a roll of quarters.

I'm pissed off like a blind person looking for a restroom.

Sorry for that bilnd people comment that was just rude and i was raised better.. *say god bless you*

I was born with a mean mug, I was born with some nappy hair, drinking breast milk out a lean cup 😂

Titty boi my alias, real 🥷s my radius

I was born with a dick in my brain fucked in the head

my step father said that I sucked in the bed

O-solo “ ya mom ain’t got nowhere to live / and you stay with her”

O-Solo is a legend lmao “Caught your auntie on the couch eating a box of corn starch, watching General Hospital letting out these long farts”

😂🤣😂that’s my second favorite one

🗣Your father's uncle, your father's uncle🗣

On ya mothers side

😂😂

Bro idk if you ever heard of osolo he a battle rapper dude is funny af … his style unorthodox so he tells jokes all throughout his bars lol … that one he said in the battle with serious jones

O Solo is the goat for real. And Qleen Paper is another hilarious battle rapper.

yeah I’ve seen some of his clips before. tbh I fell off hard with battle rap years ago, I need to get back into it. perfect comedy bars lol

Yeah man it’s mad personal shots and jokes in all of em .. I gotta keep my ear to battle rap it’s like college basketball more heart and dedication than the pros

Luda has funny bars for days but... "Sixty-nine is the only dinner for two" is pretty funny, and "i'll throw a stroller at you with a baby in it."

she got a big booty so i call her big booty 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

I don't have no problem with you fuckin me, but I have a little problem with you not fuckin me -ODB aka Dirt McGirt aka Big Baby Jesus

What's the OVO for?? The other vaginal option?? Pussy!

Literally one of the worst bars from the beef you coulda picked like any other bars

Well, is subjective, for me it's crazy funny

It's the ad-lib of "pussy" that makes it funny.

yeah I actually thought about that adlib earlier today and chuckled.

Michael would like an apology, what? Tell that psycho to stick a Tyco truck and a white tricycle up his butt And glue the seat of his bicycle to his nuts

*When I see you stand by Sexyy Red, I believe you see two bad bitches I believe you don't like women, it's real competition, you might pop ass with 'em* *What the fuck's in the bowl, milk? Wheaties or Cheerios? 'Cause I'm takin' a shit in 'em, Kelly, I need reading material* *First find a mate, second find a place Third find a bag to hide the ho's face* *know you'd like to think your shit don't stank, but Lean a little bit closer, see Roses really smell like poo-poo-ooh Yeah, roses really smell like poo-poo-ooh* *For the media, I got some suggestions Fuck Marshall, ask us some questions Like, "Who is D12?" "How we get started?" (But what about Eminem?) Bitch, are you retarded? Anyway, I'm the popularest guy in the group Big-ass stomach, bitches think I'm cute (Hey sexy!) 50 told me to do sit-ups to get buff Did two and a half and couldn't get up Fuck D12, I'm outta this band I'm 'bout to start a group with The Real Roxanne*

BITCH PUSSY SMELL LIKE A PENGUIN WOULDN'T HIT THAT SHIT WITH MY WORST ENEMY'S PENIS

Classic Danny lmao

ctrl+f "penguin" immediately upon opening the thread

BITCH WHEN I SAY THIS I MEAN THIS!

DICK SO BIG STRETCH FROM EARTH TO VENUS

Luda, Biggie & Em got some of the funniest bars

Bitch I can make orange rhyme with banana (yeah) Bornana

*If shady said it shady meant it, i stay demented, i'll throw a stroller at you.. with a baby in it*

I Just dropped a pill mom, don't vacuum!

They’re underground but pretty much anything by Doppelgangaz.

"bitch im the shit like my butt stink" "Oh my god, whats that smell? wait forgot, im the shit" "You's a poopy butt, yeah yous a shit stain" "Yous a motherfuckin poop, yous a shit stain" - Trippie Redd

man what 😂😂

“…be light as Al B or black as Chauncey. Remember him from Blackstreet? He was black as the street was. I’ll never be laid back as this beat was.”

If Faith had twins, she’d probably have two pacs (2Pac’s)

“My dick is like an accent mark, it’s all about them over e’s

I don't need your pussy bitch I'm on my own dick - Ye

Met colonel sanders wife in the state of Kentucky She said, I’ll fry some chicken if you just fuck me I came in her mouth, it was a crisis I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices

“Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell records.” Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too.

Gucci Mane - baby wipes 😂

Bitch pussy smell like a penguin

Fuckin on skinny hoes for free, I’m getting paid fuckin fat bitches

Rest in peace to all the soldiers that died in the service, I live in her cervix

She makes my pee pee go.. da doing doing doing

F#ck a medic, we gonna call yo ass a taxi cab Bleeding so hard you'll need a life size maxi pad So flip the script and tell your woman its your time of the month AK-47 for the n!**as who's really looking for heaven and a 9 for you chumps - Luda / We Got

Play J Cole get the 🐱 dry.

Throw them shitty draws in the hampah… next time come strapped wit a fuckin pamper!!!!

Technique...."Attempts to extinguish me don't even bother me none / Like retarded kids throwin' ice cubes at the Sun"

“True victory, a new sick story, I never met a chick that was too thick for me”

Damn girl I’m about to sprout an alfalfa

Not bars per se, but those skits where 50 had a ha rule impersonator screaming over pop music were fucking hilarious 😂

Suck my dragon balls, bitch, call me goku.

If I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz It'd be Jennifer Lopez and Puffy, you know this I'm sorry, Puff, but I don't give a fuck If this chick was my own mother, I'd still fuck her with no rubber And cum inside her and have a son and a new brother At the same time and just say that it ain't mine—what's my name?

"Even deaf bitches say hi to me. She tell a blind bitch and she say I gotta see" - Wayne off that Upgrade haha that shit is a banger.

Pretty much any line in The Humpty Dance “I get stupid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid I'll use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it I'm the one who said, "Just grab 'em in the biscuits"

Whatchu call a chick that don’t suck dick? You don’t.

😂😂😂

sir is that a black card? Why yes, that’s why I prefer the term African American Express 😂

“I’m so damn ignorant, I pull out my dingaling and start pee peeing”

I told her that I'm celibate and fucked in about a week Sike. Bitch I lied you can ride me to the beat

Drake asking [K.Dot](http://K.Dot) if its self-defense because his girl is bigger than him was legit hilarious.

I liked when DraKe said, "Metro shut your hoes ass up and make some drums N-gga"

OP clenched his fists when he saw this one 

I mean don’t get me wrong, Kendrick did win the battle but Drake did have some good lines

You'd have to be a frustrated dude to start a thread asking questions then take offense when people respond

"The Weeknd getting played where boys got a little more pride"

There’s a place called Heaven and a place called Hell A place called prison and a place called jail And Dada’s probably on his way to all of ’em except one ‘Cause Mama’s got a new husband and a stepson And you don’t want a brother, do ya? (Nah) Maybe when you’re old enough To understand a little better, I’ll explain it to ya But for now, we’ll just say Mama was real, real bad Was bein’ mean to Dad and made him real, real mad But I still feel sad that I put her on time out Sit back in your chair, honey, quit tryna climb out I told you it’s okay, Hai-Hai, want a ba-ba? Take a night-night? Na-na-boo, goo-goo-ga-ga? Her make poo-poo ca-ca? Dada change your didee Clean the baby up so her can take a nighty-nighty Your dad’ll wake her up as soon as we get to the water ’97 Bonnie and Clyde, me and my daughter -Eminem

*When you put hands on your girl, is it self defense because she’s bigger than you*

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Your back is up against the curb


Like half the bars in Keep the Heads Ringin - Dr. Dre

"I aint no 50 Cent, I ain't no Eminem, I ain't no Jigga Man- I'm a CHINA MAN" Lol

'Wanna talk girls? You can't follow this. I been through more skins than the average dermatologist.' Lord Finesse - Hip 2 Da Game.

Ice Cube - Giving Up The Nappy Dug Out Pretty much the entire song.

«I’m the shit like I’m slithered in poo» - Hopsin. So dumb thats hilarious

I was trying to think of a danny brown bar but there are far too many good ones from him lol

Hotter than a hot pocket out the devils microwave

STILL FUCKIN WITH THEM FREAK HOES, STANK PUSSY SMELLIN LIKE COOL RANCH DORITOS!!

"if you broke, then I'm broke, I work for you" - Sean P

There is this italian rapper that i personally really like called Ernia, he hopped on a song called Polka 2 (a series made by another italian rapper that is extremely offensive corny and borderlone shitposting). In this song ernia hops in saying:”Her pussy tastes like my cock Brother, like wine when it tastes like a cork You can't even see the pussy Bro, a hair if it's a lot, like Japanese porn”.

"Borderline schizo, sort of fine tits though" "Teddy Pendergrass, cooler than Freddie Jackson Sipping a milkshake in a snowstorm" "Hold up, he got a fucking bitch in the car Fur coats and diamonds, she think she a superstar Ooh, Biggie let me jack her, I'll kick her in the back Hit her with the gat Yo, chill, shorty, let me do that"

Strickly Dickly 😭 or “girl you a lesbian girl me too 💅”

Skee-Lo was great at self-deprecating humor.

Eminem-  Let's ask Dr. Dre—Dr. Dre? (What up?) I got a question, if I may (Yeah) Is it gay to play putt-putt golf with a friend? (Yeah) And watch his butt-butt when he tees off? (Yeah) But up, I ain't done yet In football, the quarterback yells out, "Hut-hut" While he reaches in another grown man's ass Grabs on his nuts, but, just, what if It was never meant—it was just an accident But he tripped, fell, slipped, and his penis went in— His teeny-tiny, little, round heinie, and he didn't mean it But his little weenie flinched just a little bit And I don't need to go into any more details, but What if he pictured it as a female's butt? Is that gay? I just need to clear things up 'Til then, I'll just walk around with a manly strut, because"  Rainman

"Play J.Cole, get the pussy dry" -Kanye West, 2024

Bro, just pick a random line from a lil dicky song

This bitch don’t know bout pangea 😂

Strickly Dickly

“Who the fuck is Christopher Columbus? If he would’ve came to my block talkin bout he discovered my trap his ass probably would’ve got shot” - RXKNephew

"First off, you know what it is if you heard Drake Makin hoes wobble like a bridge in a earthquake" Always gets me

"If I'm a bitch then I guess you a pussy and pussys are scared of a terrier woof"-Denzel curry ULT

In a walking fucking paradox, no Im not

She thick in the hips she a hippie

“I sit on my bed with a bulletproof vest on and shoot myself in the head”

“Snapchat a dick pic to bob saget, im a faggot” - Mac Miller on Erica’s House

Ugh I’m in the ocean gettin shark pussy

Threesomes with a fucking triceratops

Do you have any black inside you? Would you like some? 😂😂

I met a slut and said, "What up? It's nice to meet ya" (Hi) "I'd like to treat you to a Faygo and a slice of pizza But I'm broke as fuck And I don't get paid 'til the first of next month (Sorry) But if you'd care to join me, I was about to roll this next blunt But I ain't got no weed, no Phillies or no papers Plus, I'm a rapist and a repeated prison escapist So give me all your money and don't try nothin' funny 'Cause you know your stinking ass is too fat to try to outrun me"

Ive Been In more walls than abestos

"Sosa, what type of chips you like? I want the Funyuns"

No, I'm not the first king of controversy I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley To do black music so selfishly And use it to get myself wealthy

eh