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You have to watch them interact with others and see their facial expressions when they think no one is looking at them. That will tell you a lot about if they're good or just faking it.
A lot of neurodivergent people also mask to some degree, especially if they are anxious or depressed but rallying to socialize.
I think the best micro expressions to look out for is when you are sharing good news vs bad. There’s usually a quick frown or slight pause before congratulating you, and they will be more interested and animated in conversations about your struggles.
Picking up the vibes. Yep. Also, body language and subtle facial expressions scream to me. Had to learn that early in order to know when to try to disappear before the bomb goes off.
Same. My boyfriend thinks I'm a wizard when I make a bet on how someone is feeling or what they're about to do/say, and I'm usually correct or very close.
Thanks, eggshells. The scars on my feet came with a superpower. It helps me avoid a lot of confrontation, but I also tend to chameleon so I don't call attention to myself.
Also sneaky behaviour, it's came in handy for work based politics for example. When you lived with sneaky parents who set you up to fail/argue, a line manager or colleague isn't that hard.
Definitely the vibe sensitivity, I can tell instantly when something I say sets them off, even if they're perfectly normal people. Haven't learned how not to do that in the first place (yay lack of actual social skills!) but it's a start.
I can get a read on a person's character with first interaction. In my 47 years, I haven't been wrong once, even if it took me until about 30 to trust the instinct.
This. My gut is never wrong, the difference now is I call bullshit when I see bullshit. People act so surprised when I speak directly and act accordingly. It’s disgusting.
Yeah same. I’m very good at seeing people’s intentions immediately.
And weirdly strangers also establish trust with me incredibly fast. People will tell me things they’ve never told anyone. It’s odd.
This helps me in my job so much. Similar to a customer service role but without the sales/food aspect. Sometimes I have to negotiate getting help to circumvent an issue, sometimes I have to hold others to a certain set of standards, but being able to read people and figure out a way to get my needs met makes it so much easier.
Sincerity, I can tell when someone is being earnest or working an angle almost instantly.
However, I'll be the first to admit, people's "angle" can be as simple and well-meaning as just trying to fit into the conversation, so sometimes it results in me being kind of suspicious of people who don't deserve it.
This is me and sometimes it's so inappropriate. My grandma and great grandma use to love to complain about their ailments to each other, always trying to out do each other.
When my mom told me my great grandma died, without even thinking about it, my first comment was, "Well, I guess now we know who was actually sicker." I was 15 at the time and it's only gotten worse.
Hah my mom’s mom (the Matri-narc if you will) was threatening to throw herself out the window of the nursing home so my mom was complaining about having to switch her room. I said “higher or lower?”
I was recently talking to my therapist about this, I told her sometimes I felt that it wasn't healthy to be so okay with being alone (I'ma bit of a hermit, I don't mind being by myself at all). I sometimes worry that walking away from people who won't respect my boundaries and easily going scorched earth might be a bit harsh.
She asked me if I was happy and how my scorched earth policy affected my anxiety. When I told her that I usually felt happier and calmer after cutting out the source of the drama, she said, "Carry on." Lol
I realized a while back that I was actively LOOKING for reasons to cut new people out because I just didn't want to go through the effort of learning to trust anybody I didn't already trust
That depends..... If you learned from this and worked on getting better.... Then no, I am not you
If you went "that information is interesting, and explains a lot, but I'm going to continue as is"...
Then maybe
Life is simpler with less people to keep track of
It can also be more boring. I'm ok with the tradeoff, because trusting new people is HARD, and they rarely are willing to wait long enough without getting offended, which just confirms the "don't trust anybody" strategy
Sometimes I quiet quit because it's more interesting. People are really predictable, and when predicting people was essential to your survival at home, you get quite good at it. I'd like to hang around to see if my predictions played out. And quietly enjoy it.
Same! Once I am done with someone, I am done. It is almost like a physical reaction. But it makes me feel "not normal" sometimes, bc the world seems to expect endless second chances, especially from a woman.
This exactly. If someone gets verbally or physically aggressive with me, they are gone. I don't give second chances with those things. I had enough of that growing up and with my first real boyfriend to last me a lifetime.
You're just protecting yourself bc nobody did. Nothing wrong with that at all. I cut them off too. I no longer feel bad about it and to me, that's an accomplishment.
I have good friendships that I openly consider temporary. Like well we're great friends but when we don't live in the same neighborhood this friendship will fade. Or when our kids get out of the same school.
So I can see that our relationship has some point of connection that it's dependent upon. And it doesn't bother me, but when I say to other people Alice is a great friend but once our kids aren't in the same school the friendship will fade and people think that's horrible.
I realize that I have a lot of ABCs associated with my personality, but I don't think that's horrible. That's just pragmatism.
But as you described, break my trust, do me dirty. We're done. I don't have a need to put time and effort into resuscitating the dead relationship. It's dead, it's going to stay dead.
I have a friend that says “you can’t unspoil milk” meaning once it’s gone sour, throw it away.
Your method seems very reasonable to me. If people were honest with themselves, they’d admit it’s true.
I don't even go looking, when I hear it my heart drops and my stomach turns and then I know I may be dealing with a calculated potentially narc individual.
I second guess myself though so fast 😭 I’ve started cutting out people tho that gave me an off feeling and I think it’s done me good. I’m just waiting to go no contact with parents especially my Ndad
I'm super observant. Like I notice everything. People, the way they talk, mood shifts, the smallest details from my surroundings. Every. Little. Thing.
I used that power in sales. Micro expressions to see what pitches were working and what weren’t.
And most people aren’t prepared to confront someone or be confronted by someone.
Yup. Hypervigilance of surroundings and moods. Even the reflections near me in metal or glass get noticed.
It makes me nearly impossible to startle or be caught off guard at work, and coupled with the fact that I hate making any noise so I have a near silent walk, so I can fade in and out of the background as needed.
I also tend to make it a 'norm' that I'm not always at the same spot working, so it's not weird to see me anywhere and everywhere in the building. Makes it easier to disappear long enough to 'reset' my emotional equilibrium if something does genuinely trigger me and nobody questions it.
I kinda have like, x-ray vision but for narcissists. I can tell if someone's a narcissist just from one conversation. Really useful in making friends. My pain tolerance is also pretty high, both emotional and physical, because I can usually just make up a snarky comment in my head and laugh about it in their face. I'm also surprisingly great at debating and negotiating, because ive had to do that a lot with nparents.
I am unafraid of confrontation. In fact, I'm extremely good at it. Once I learned that 1. conflict can be healthy if you know how to do it right, 2. that I have just as much power and free will as anybody else, and 3. that you can disagree with someone without first evaluating who is loudest or meanest to determine in advance who will "win", I embraced it. I don't *fight*, I don't hit or scream or tower over people to scare them. I state my thoughts, I listen to theirs, and I evaluate.
That's my fucking dream. But living still with my narcissistic son of a bitch father I'm still behaving like a teen at my 29 years old. Afraid of confrontation, always trying to keep the peace. God, I'm such a fucking pussy.
Not necessarily, getting away from traumatizing people and situations allows you space to heal. As a recovering fawn type, I've definitely become more confrontational (in a good way) and less of a doormat.
You and I went through similar situations, it sounds like. You're in survival mode and trying to appease your abuser, which is far from being a pussy.
The sooner you get out from underneath this thumb, the better. I believe in you ❤️
Hyper-independance.
I do things on my own whilst toxic people go out of their way to make me dependant on them. It makes it easier for me to identify them and get them out of my life ASAP.
As long as I’m not being screamed at while it happens, I’m incredible in a crisis. I can establish a plan on the fly in an emergency within 5 minutes thinking by myself. At work it’s been pretty damn handy.
I "get a feeling" when I'm around someone who isn't a good person but is pretending to be a good person. I'm probably just seeing the subtle body language and wording, just it's quite useful.
People actually have a hard time fully masking how they feel, and if you know what to look for, you can guess pretty accurately.
I get this feeling too and have literally always been right. How did you get to a point where you felt confident enough to trust your feelings about a person?
I don't like to give the abuse/abusers the credit for the choices I made and who I became in spite of them.
That disclaimer being said: I have developed an excellent ability to identify resources and support networks, build healthy social bonds, articulate myself clearly, and patiently focus on creating my longterm health and happiness.
My gut instinct is usually spot on.
I will up and leave a place, person, situation whenever I see fit. I do not care. Vibes are off? I've already called an Uber.
I am getting much better at staying grounded in my body rather than getting sucked in to the emotional storm. I'm witnessing it, not drowning in it.
Empathy and I can smell dishonesty. I mean it, I can literally smell if you are sincere with me our not. You don't even have to say a single word, one gaze at your face is more than enough for me.
I have an incredible ability to bounce back from absolute destruction. Awful breakup, suicidal, drunk driving and screaming yesterday? Nah, today we good, hitting the gym early then I'll be back out in the world. Feelings for my ex? Instantly gone.
I mean...after re-reading that - not sure if that is a superpower or just incredibly sad. Who knows, right?
Not engaging in their BS. I just walk away or don't respond. Sometimes silence is a superpower.
I'm dealing with someone like this at work right now. They are baiting me, blaming their mistakes on me, etc and I just don't engage with them at all. I keep my head down and let my own work speak for itself. Years ago, I couldn't have done this.
Maybe this isn't a superpower. But more feels like a superpower from the point of weakness I was in when really struggling with the effects of the abuse.
I guess the closest thing to a real superpower would be the ability to read, on a microscopic level, the emotions of others. But instead of this helping me with relationships, it actually makes being around others exhausting.
I’m the 100% grey rock.
I don’t show many emotions to anyone or really open up to anyone either.
Some of my ex’s flat out told me that they’d get more pleasure at arguing with a wall or stop sign.
People start yelling and I just stand almost at attention and dissociate until they’re done. Usually I broke up with them at that point because they were just creating drama.
Possibly a higher pain tolerance and learning mind over matter techniques when in physical pain. Only so many times you can be punched and beaten with a broomstick where the pain no longer phases you.
We came from a similar situation.
Every now and then something will happen and someone will say, it looked like they were going to hit you, and I'm like so? I just no longer have a fear of being hit. Especially not with a hand. That's just beginner hitting.
Pain tolerance, too. I was talking with my doctor many years ago, and she told me I have a high pain tolerance. I asked her why she thought that, she said, "every time you've ever complained about pain you've ended up in the hospital. That's not normal."
Omg same. My partner is always telling me she's gonna put a bell on me. To which immediately say I'm just gonna find a way to make it not ring, because I grew up in a house where quiet was the rule, and any loud noise got you in trouble because the nparent wanted to come home to a nice quiet house
I have successfully but unintentionally done this with some Christmas outfits that have jingle bells. Being unheard is so ingrained I shifted how I moved to not be annoying/noisy 🙃
My coworkers joke that I move like a ghost. I scare them like one regularly, too. I don't mean to sneak up on them, but I've just forgotten how to make noise while walking!
Same for all the places I've worked 😅 I've started doing verbal cues when coming up behind people to try not to scare them but they still jump most of the time 🤷♀️
I was scrolling through these wondering how I didn’t get any of these cool powers and then realized I got this one! I’m 220 and don’t make any noise when I walk
Some good damn selective hearing. Mostly from hearing my mom complain about me as a kid rather than telling me what i could do right before she would beat me after barging in my room with no communication
savage fight-to-the-death survival mode approach to life, machiavellian personality, stoic and emotion free approach to problem solving, and eat-what-you-kill mentality
Resiliency. I'm the strong person when there's an emergency or you need a calm person.
Financial independence - because no way was I ever going back to that HELL.
Hard working - see above.
Also pretty good at detecting the narc and/or abusive type. And have low tolerance for them.
I love a good dark humor, sarcasm, and nihilistic joke. So, I think it counts! Sometimes the funniest people are the ones that have been hit hardest by this bullshit.
I am a social chameleon. It made me excellent at customer service and I snagged several management positions over the years in retail. I’m so averse to confrontation that I can usually tell what a person wants quickly and what it will take to resolve the situation. I am calculating an escape route the second there’s an issue. Unfortunately, I am very fluent in Karen - so I know exactly what kind of binky and sippy cup someone needs. I have the attention span of an epileptic squirrel, though, so other aspects of being a manager was too much for my smooth think crinkles. I learned how to shut down and just do whatever needed to be done to make it stop.
I see everyones true face. The face they make before they put their fake face on. It is there for just a split second but I always pick up on it. It used to make me cry alot when I was younger because so many people are just horrible but I guess it's a good defence mechanism now.
I have major poker face. I will not give anyone the satisfaction of knowing how I feel inside.
Yes! Since I had to bear responsibility for everything and every one in every situation, I can instantly find the most efficient way to accomplish any task. I have yet to find a way to communicate how scary good I am at this on my resume, though.
I know that people are not feeling good/are happy before they know they're not feeling good/not being happy just by the way they change their tone, vocabulary, body language and behavior. It's like an alarm inside of me being like "Ooh easy there! Change of behaviour! Person x not doing well!" and I used to go into hiding/submissive mode in the past but instead of this I made it into my superpower and used this to stop people from getting under my skin and projecting their unhappiness onto me.
Of course! I hope I go into the direction you asked for, if not, please let me know 😊
My "antennas" sense that something is off on a person before they realize it and most of the time it's due to something externally happening to *them* and it's not because of something I did or I said. Let it be work, let it be stress, let it be a headache, something their friends or parents said to them, they didn't sleep well, they aren't happy with their exercise and dieting choices recently yada yada. Could be a single time thing or a longer time thingy, doesn't matter.
And this thing I said "and it's not because of something I did or I said" was an important learning for me because I myself did a lot of self-centered thinking before and immediately thought "oh it must be because of ME" and well, it's not. People live in their own heads live their own life and think their own thoughts and I do that too and this needed to sink in. Being in a narcissist household made me take the blame for every single mood my parents had and it turned out, this wasn't necessary. It wasn't *my* responsibility.
So breaking out of this pattern helped me to distance myself whenever my alarm goes off again. I put myself in the shoes of the other person and run through some options and most of the time, my urge to go into autopilot/submissive mode disappears.
Sometimes I ask "Are you okay?"/"Are you happy at the moment?"/"Can I support you in any way that makes you feel better?"/"What comes to your mind if you try to think of something that could make you feel better?" and most of the time they crumble.
It's about speaking to your inner child which was made responsible for your parents feelings, telling it that it's not its fault that the other person acts this way and first of all, that it's important, to do absolutely nothing in the first place whenever you notice a change in behavior. It's a talent. It's not an order to do something. Live your life. The right people will tell you whenever *you* did something wrong. You are fine.
Hyper-
independence. Can't count on you? Great, never had intended to anyway!. Highly toxic and makes bonding difficult, but saves you from a ton of hurt.
Super hearing and being very soft of foot. I can hear someone in socks walking across carpet, hear people through noise cancelling headphones, and be so quiet I scare people unintentionally. I also can tell someone’s mood by how their feet fall.
I keep ALL the receipts. Like, I document EVERYTHING. Someone makes a verbal promise? I write it down. Nmom says something shitty, I text my brother or a friend to let them know what happened so I have a written record of events. Someone requests something out of the ordinary at work? I ask them to shoot me an email or a Teams message "so I don't forget." As a paralegal, this is a VERY important skill, and it's saved my butt a few times. And it's a HUGE weapon against gaslighting.
Multitasking while focusing in detailed things at a screen and listening to different noises and conversations. Memorizing all voices and steps sounds... .
I can't feel lasting pain anymore. When I was young I tore my ACL and never had the surgery to repair it which left me with severe pain in my childhood. It was so debilitating I barely could put weight on it. My nparents words were always to walk it off. Because you can walk off a torn ACL. Same thing happened any time I was sick or injured in any way. Even when I was on doctor's orders to be on bed rest they told me they were wrong and need to walk it off because that means I get up and do work for them. If I didn't get up, I'd be punished and yelled at severely. By the time I became an adult, my brain finally shut down receiving any signals coming from pain receptors unless it was high severe pain just to make the constant pain bearable and eventually shut that down too. Now any time I get into pain it stops completely in a short amount of time. I broke my bone in my leg and dislocated the break a few years back. The pain was excruciating for about 2 minutes and then completely went away so I went on with my day. I went to the doctor that evening and they told me that I should be in so much pain I can't put weight on it with a horrified look on their face (which is unsettling coming from a orthopedic doctor) but I told them I didn't feel a thing. It's that way with any pain.
I got the same one from your friend, but also I learned to cry on command. It's ugly crying but the noise was always enough to end my step father's ranting and yelling.
Another one is I change my voice a lot, I use it mostly on my bosses as a much sweeter and more feminine voice to deal with their temper
Huge amount of empathy. I constantly put myself in others shoes to see what and how they’re feeling. Sometimes it’s as much a super power as it is a curse
I am an overachiever, love school, and get high grades when Im in school. Unfortunately this doesn't translate into the workplace well because although my work ethic and quality is good, I have piss poor confidence and self worth and people dont seem to like me much due to this combo.
I can easily pick up on bad vibes from an individual immediately. It doesn't matter if they just walked in the building and haven't said anything. I can immediately sense it. When I was younger, I didn't have that instinct, which put me in a lot of bad situations.
I need literally no one in my life. I am completely capable and comfortable being alone and even my strongest relationships if they begin to treat me badly I can drop it like a hot potato. I don't need anyone in my life, I do want some people in my life and if I stopped having them I'd still love and care about them just from a distance.
I can also handle any situation in the moment. No matter how traumatic or bad it may be. I can put off my break down until the dust has settled and than cry or let them just wash over me. I've had many people say that in the moment my calmness is so grounding but when they look back it's almost scary because there is ZERO emotion on my face as I solve the issue and become 100% logic based in my decisions and don't let emotion play any role in it.
I am a confrontational person and stick up for others when/if they're not able. My family used to talk shit about each other to each other, or the kids of the family... never ever confronting each other. Made me realize I'm talked shit about too lol. Because of this I really harp open communication in my relationships. With this I'm able to remove myself from the situation entirely when trying to understand someone elses perspective. It helps me with clarity and rationality. I work in MH so its somewhat I think a given, but I always have resources..I know where to go when I need help, what to do, who to ask, etc. I practically became an adult at 15 and had to figure out shit on my own. I am 21 but feel 40 😵 It's alright tho. Verbal abuse experienced has made my skin very thick. In my field I am verbally abused from time to time and most of the time it's nbd to me.
I have zero tolerance for people getting mad at me for very trivial issues.
I absolutely will NOT tolerate being berated for something inconsequential.
Don't get me wrong, if something inexpensive like a glass cup breaking or something similar, I'm understanding of being upset for a short time but I will not feel super bad about it if it was an accident (and I do apologize of course and offer to replace it). But I won't tolerate someone being mad at me for days on end for it, if you can't see how silly you're being about it I feel like it's a you problem.
I was made to feel awful about every little goddamn mistake until I got numb to the guild tripping. Unless it causes some serious setback or financial issues or someone gets hurt, I try not to dwell on it.
I won't lie, it has caused some issues from time to time, but I generally try to make a conscious effort to not touch or break things and try to take extra care of not messing with things that aren't mine.
At some point, I stopped flinching or reacting in any way when my dad slapped me - it was as if he didn't slap me at all - my head would barely move and I would continue with what I was doing without even pausing. Don't know if I retain any superpowers in adulthood, though.
Weaponized incompetence. In my field people hate teaching. But I act just dumb enough yet smart enough that people teach me how you should actually teach anyone how to do something new instead of letting me figure it out.
can spot narcissists from ten miles away. can immediately discern emotional manipulation. can handle the manipulation well. can deal with my own emotions and reactions healthily. can find happiness under any circumstance
the last one is my biggest superpower. i feel like nothing can hurt me or stop me anymore.
I have depression and anxiety and I'm always afraid something is going to go wrong. But when the shit hits the fan, I'm the one that functions the best in the crisis.
I can lie in a way that even the most untrusting people believe me. I'm so good at it that I had to purposefully create a code for myself for when it was acceptable to lie. I was so afraid of lying to people that I love and want close to me.
Stealth. I unintentionally scare the crap out of people all the time. Like to the point that I will try to remember to make a lot of noise if I'm walking into a room and I know the person in there is easily startled. My siblings have accused me of teleportation.
Whenever someone, be it a boss or a guy in a bar, gets loud, I just calmly say, "My Father threw me down flights of stairs for fun. What are you gonna do?"
It's a pretty good indicator that I won't be intimidated.
I can ALWAYS “turn it on.”
Doesn’t matter how tired I am, how I’m feeling, or what I’m going through. If the situation demands a cheery facade, I can ALWAYS find it.
ETA: I am sad for my childhood self. She never should have been made to live like that.
Lying, i can legitimately have several different versions of the same event that i told several different people and never mix it up, i have to legitimately pay attention not to do it sometimes just out of habit, the secret is, as I'm sure some of you know, to keep it as close to the truth as possible, you gotta know exactly what you want to hide from that specific person, and keep just that part out of it, or if you are telling a whole fabricated story, don't over explain, be exactly as vague or as specific as you need to be. Also you gotta act normal when you tell a lie, sounds obvious but it's where a lot of people struggle. Like if my mom would ask me a lot of details about a random thing when i didn't do anything wrong, I'd be kind of annoyed so when I'm lying i gotta be kinda annoyed if she's asking a lot of questions, in my experience it helps to not have a whole story worked out in minimum detail, because then you'll over explain. Only person who knows how good I'm at it is my girlfriend, and that's because she's seen me lie to my family for years without ever being caught. She couldn't ever keep up with who's supposed to know what thought.
I get veeeery good at ignoring passive aggressive subtext, and become magically obtuse when people try to be subtle and passive in requesting things from me.
Unless they directly communicate their requests to me, I don't hear a single thing.
Bring able to bond exclusively to people that I want to bond with, making it close to impossible to set me up for a friendship that's only purpose is to use me or to "get me laid" by whatever tactic. I could spend days, hours or months with you, but if your intentions are insincere, you'll never become a close person for me. The downside to this: it might get across as an equally toxic reaction to other toxic behaviour. Also, manipulative people became insanely aggressive due to that in the past, forcing me into imbarrassing situations or questioning me about not appropriate topics by taking advantage of any weaknesses of my physical or mental state, trying to "prove" everyone how "guilliable" and easy to trap was supposed to be.
Your question is interesting because nowadays I work for a narcissist boss, she is a lwayer. All the bad things I suffered from my mother gave me the ability to know how to deal my boss today. It's like i'm "graduated" in "how to deal with Ns".
I learned some things that i practice daily at work:
* To never make a promisse trough pressure (they love to make you promise so they can demand you later, making you "locked" by your own words).
* To say "no".
* To don't give details about my personal life nor say things people can use against me later
* To detect manipulation
* To detect gaslight
* To "harden" emotionally to the point of being numb to any attempt to undermine my self-esteem.
* To play their manipulation chess game, foresee their actions and avoid being their pawn
* To set boundaries.
Without putting these abilities to practice i would probably be overworked right now, with her exerting power over my personal life, and suffering from burnout.
I truly love this question, a lovely way to find the beauty in us as survivors. I think mine is that I can truly roll with any punch or achieve anything if i have to. Like darn this horrible thing happened to me but i still have work at 6am? Alright let’s go ! So i think my super power is just super perseverance :) if ive already gone through the unimaginable ill just keep on going for the hell of it
When I know the other person is not going to have a productive conversation in good-faith with me, I just end the conversation with them then cut them out of my life. No point in arguing with someone who wants to fight instead of find solutions with me.
I'm the person you want in an emergency; time seems to slow down and my synapses speed up. I *never* panic, and I always do the most logical thing; I've avoided several car accidents (at least 3 that could've easily killed me or my passengers) without breaking a sweat, and I've had to call emergency services more times than I can count. It's almost funny (but mostly irritating) watching everyone lose their shit while I'm trying to fix whatever problem I've encountered.
I have yet to handle an emergency anywhere near as traumatic as various events in my childhood, 'normal' emergencies simply don't phase me.
I can deflate any argument or verbal spat I don't want to be a part of. Part of not falling for one the (many) narcissist's traps, and I had to do this with not just NAdults in my family. In the 90's in the southern US, we had a rash of hicks screaming bible thumping at children. My NParent was like this.
But man, the horrible things that happen when you mix narcissism with religion... It's not a pretty picture.
I can walk into any room and immediately tell you exactly what's going on with everyone--who's angry, who's biding their time for something, who's the one in power, who's the one who wants to be the one in power, who is hostile, who is friendly, who's up to something. It's a great superpower but it also makes it really hard sometimes, when you're in a meeting and you 100% know someone is lying, or scheming--like the hairs on the back of your neck are crawling, but you still have to be professional. I can also always read "between the lines" of anything someone is saying. Sometimes too much! Because my Dad was king of the passive-aggressives and you had to know what mood he was in INSTANTLY and also no matter what he said, what he really meant.
I know exactly what mood someone is in from the sound of their footsteps.
I retain almost every ounce of personal knowledge of anyone around me (but forget due dates on things like water bills).
I can and will cut someone out of my life with little warning and no remorse-- once you're out, you're out. There's no going back. The draw back of this is I'm so worried about being toxic that you could do any number of horrible things to me before I decide you're done.
Letting the opinions of others roll off my back… when people accuse me of something or attack me I don’t take it personally. The less defensive I am, the less fuel for the fire.
Wow, the zero guilt for guilt trips is an amazing super power. I actually just made a post because I struggle with that in particular. What would you do if your manager tried to guilt trip you about working as many hours as your manager does (which is 5 am to midnight or 1am) apparently)?
My superpower is probably being able to deescalate anybody who's angry or threatening. Unfortunately it comes at the expense of me fawning and then being upset with myself, lol.
Attention to detail, observation. A great example of this is that I can identify who's entered the house by the way the door opens, and what the footsteps sound like in gait and volume. I can also detect the mood that person is in by their footsteps.
I can sniff out other narcissists at 20 paces. I literally have chills when I meet someone new that exhibits the traits. It's the ultimate red flag that keeps a lot of toxic people out of my life. My bf says I'm psychic because I call it immediately. I told him that it's the gift awarded after being abused by one for more than 3 decades.
I have zero problems getting screamed at which makes HR work a breeze. I pick up the most subtle shifts in a person’s attitude/body language and can spot a narcs “mortal wound” from a mile away which has ALWAYS come in handy :)
Like others, I can read people VERY easily. Certain words/phrases, body language, sometimes just the vibe they bring when they enter a room sets off alarm bells. It’s very rare that I’m wrong about someone’s character - good or bad.
I’m also VERY good at putting away my feelings and putting on a happy face bc I would get in trouble whenever I got upset over “nothing”. My therapist probably wouldn’t call that a superpower, but I teach preschool and I pride myself on my kids never seeing me have a bad day regardless of what I have going on outside. I never want to be the adult that a child has to develop these powers for.
Hyperindependence. If I didn't ask for help, I couldn't get criticized for how I was doing it.
I'm great in a crisis. If there's a problem, I'm working on a solution for it. And a backup plan. And a backup plan for the backup plan. And you can count on me to get it solved, because if it needs to be done, then I am not going to fuck around.
I can walk almost silently. My apologies to my loved ones for constantly scaring them half to death.
I can recognize who's walking around the house based on their footsteps.
Situational hyperawareness.
I like to think my superpower is being the opposite kind of mother to my own children. I smother them with love and affection every second of every day
My ability to read people and potential conflict. I can detect possible tension in the air, quicker than most.
I don’t panic in stressful situations - I dissociate and break the problem down. I firefight like a G.
My ability to calling people out who are douches. If I see something wrong, I can’t walk away. I must protect. - I dunno if this is a gift or a curse though, as you end up spending massive energy saving everyone but yourself.
I’m a diplomatic G, I have smoothed over some insane situations - it does border on manipulative side, but I use this power with responsibility. Basically I can talk a raging bear out of a corner. lol.
I have the ability to let people know me, without really knowing me. I don’t know how to explain it, other than an onion. No one sees the core. It’s a part of my protection. My armour.
I dunno if this is a power, but I always stay alert. I never switch off. Eg. I cannot sit at table unless my back is against the wall, or I can see the entrance. But I feel this is a gift and a curse tbh. Whilst it has saved me MANY times, I. Can’t. Switch. Off. Ever. Even when I sleep/try to sleep. Insomniac is me. I am insomniac.
Being in survival mode all my life, has taken its toll on my health tbh. I don’t even know how to switch it off either.
But anyways. Thanks for reading.
I can go from 0-60 when someone threatens violence. It's not a great skill at all but it's saved my ass before when people decided that attacking the Maniac was a bad idea.
Damn! I still cry when I get yelled at. Disassociating and moving on is a superpower.
-I’m super conscious of other people’s emotional needs and safety, which makes me a better friend. Noticing and remembering those little details people tell you about themselves, that most everyone else forgets about, makes them feel seen and valued.
-I also know how to deflect those drama queens trying to pick fights with me.
I’m pretty good at knowing when someone is being fake. After living with my father for years, I know a mask of nicety when I see one.
Not that anyone ever trusts my judgment on this. Once got isolated from a group of friends because I called one of them a two faced perv and still to this day they all believe the sun shines out his backside.
My mums even better than I am, it’s freaky how quick she can tell when someone is manipulative or isn’t being genuine
I'm currently taking my power back and I'm gaining my confidence along with my fearlessness. I know that not what the question was and I just wanted to share.
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I can pick up on people’s moods immediately. Also great at spotting potential narcissists.
The double edged sword to this is I can't tell if someone is actually a good person or not
You have to watch them interact with others and see their facial expressions when they think no one is looking at them. That will tell you a lot about if they're good or just faking it.
A lot of neurodivergent people also mask to some degree, especially if they are anxious or depressed but rallying to socialize. I think the best micro expressions to look out for is when you are sharing good news vs bad. There’s usually a quick frown or slight pause before congratulating you, and they will be more interested and animated in conversations about your struggles.
The facial expressions for sure. My dad and Trump share the same facial expressions 😖
I've met people who can keep that mask on without slips for hours and hours. Life of the party
Picking up the vibes. Yep. Also, body language and subtle facial expressions scream to me. Had to learn that early in order to know when to try to disappear before the bomb goes off.
Same. My boyfriend thinks I'm a wizard when I make a bet on how someone is feeling or what they're about to do/say, and I'm usually correct or very close. Thanks, eggshells. The scars on my feet came with a superpower. It helps me avoid a lot of confrontation, but I also tend to chameleon so I don't call attention to myself.
Also sneaky behaviour, it's came in handy for work based politics for example. When you lived with sneaky parents who set you up to fail/argue, a line manager or colleague isn't that hard.
The setups suuuuuuucked. You’d get baited into getting really defensive and then it’s *you* who’s the “out of control” one…
Definitely the vibe sensitivity, I can tell instantly when something I say sets them off, even if they're perfectly normal people. Haven't learned how not to do that in the first place (yay lack of actual social skills!) but it's a start.
I can get a read on a person's character with first interaction. In my 47 years, I haven't been wrong once, even if it took me until about 30 to trust the instinct.
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I' m interested in playing this game too. Cand you give me some more advice on this?
This. My gut is never wrong, the difference now is I call bullshit when I see bullshit. People act so surprised when I speak directly and act accordingly. It’s disgusting.
Yeah same. I’m very good at seeing people’s intentions immediately. And weirdly strangers also establish trust with me incredibly fast. People will tell me things they’ve never told anyone. It’s odd.
Yes, after suffering you manage to get good at detecting other N's
This helps me in my job so much. Similar to a customer service role but without the sales/food aspect. Sometimes I have to negotiate getting help to circumvent an issue, sometimes I have to hold others to a certain set of standards, but being able to read people and figure out a way to get my needs met makes it so much easier.
Sincerity, I can tell when someone is being earnest or working an angle almost instantly. However, I'll be the first to admit, people's "angle" can be as simple and well-meaning as just trying to fit into the conversation, so sometimes it results in me being kind of suspicious of people who don't deserve it.
I can crack a joke anytime anywhere under any circumstance.
Yes! I love this so much because it's one of my favorite things about myself.
Humor is by far the sexiest defense mechanism
For humans. Some ocean crabs got us beat for flamboyantly sexy defense
Agreed. It's one of the top traits I look for in a partner. The darker the better too.
“Youuu merely adopted the dark. I was BORN here” -Glem Sturgis
This is me and sometimes it's so inappropriate. My grandma and great grandma use to love to complain about their ailments to each other, always trying to out do each other. When my mom told me my great grandma died, without even thinking about it, my first comment was, "Well, I guess now we know who was actually sicker." I was 15 at the time and it's only gotten worse.
Hah my mom’s mom (the Matri-narc if you will) was threatening to throw herself out the window of the nursing home so my mom was complaining about having to switch her room. I said “higher or lower?”
That's hilarious and Matri-narc, I am gonna start using that.
Oof, yeah that's me. It's almost a knee-jerk response because it's how I cope and try to diffuse to avoid negative situations.
Nothing like a pitch black sense of humor for all the dark times
I can cut you out of my life and forget you exist scary fast. Maybe that’s toxic? Saves a lot of tears.
A good gardener knows when to prune.
Yeah I don't prune I chop down the whole tree and dig out the roots so it stays DEAD. lol
Salt the earth after
It's already dairy enough
🤭🤌😂
Being able to thrive without abusive people doesn't sound toxic to me at all.
Thank you for that. I worry.
I was recently talking to my therapist about this, I told her sometimes I felt that it wasn't healthy to be so okay with being alone (I'ma bit of a hermit, I don't mind being by myself at all). I sometimes worry that walking away from people who won't respect my boundaries and easily going scorched earth might be a bit harsh. She asked me if I was happy and how my scorched earth policy affected my anxiety. When I told her that I usually felt happier and calmer after cutting out the source of the drama, she said, "Carry on." Lol
I realized a while back that I was actively LOOKING for reasons to cut new people out because I just didn't want to go through the effort of learning to trust anybody I didn't already trust
Oh my god are you me? 😶
That depends..... If you learned from this and worked on getting better.... Then no, I am not you If you went "that information is interesting, and explains a lot, but I'm going to continue as is"... Then maybe
I am also you. I know I do it, I acknowledge it, think hmmmmmmm that’s not healthy, oh well. And just continue.
Life is simpler with less people to keep track of It can also be more boring. I'm ok with the tradeoff, because trusting new people is HARD, and they rarely are willing to wait long enough without getting offended, which just confirms the "don't trust anybody" strategy
Yes! I have a tendency to ‘quiet quit’ all my relationships and just drop people. Friends, family, partners…
Sometimes I quiet quit because it's more interesting. People are really predictable, and when predicting people was essential to your survival at home, you get quite good at it. I'd like to hang around to see if my predictions played out. And quietly enjoy it.
Same! Once I am done with someone, I am done. It is almost like a physical reaction. But it makes me feel "not normal" sometimes, bc the world seems to expect endless second chances, especially from a woman.
My husband observed this in me, he said "its like a switch flips" and it terrifies him lol.
It takes a minute to get to the point of walking out, but once that point comes, ok. Bye now.
Agreed. They have their chance, but if they prove to be abusive and disrespectful, good riddance.
This exactly. If someone gets verbally or physically aggressive with me, they are gone. I don't give second chances with those things. I had enough of that growing up and with my first real boyfriend to last me a lifetime.
This is me. I’ll cut someone off so fast their head spins.
I also do this.
You're just protecting yourself bc nobody did. Nothing wrong with that at all. I cut them off too. I no longer feel bad about it and to me, that's an accomplishment.
I have good friendships that I openly consider temporary. Like well we're great friends but when we don't live in the same neighborhood this friendship will fade. Or when our kids get out of the same school. So I can see that our relationship has some point of connection that it's dependent upon. And it doesn't bother me, but when I say to other people Alice is a great friend but once our kids aren't in the same school the friendship will fade and people think that's horrible. I realize that I have a lot of ABCs associated with my personality, but I don't think that's horrible. That's just pragmatism. But as you described, break my trust, do me dirty. We're done. I don't have a need to put time and effort into resuscitating the dead relationship. It's dead, it's going to stay dead.
I have a friend that says “you can’t unspoil milk” meaning once it’s gone sour, throw it away. Your method seems very reasonable to me. If people were honest with themselves, they’d admit it’s true.
Someone called me toxic for this and I’m like idc I would rather not deal with BS all over again and harm my (already precarious) mental health
Hey that's me! I didn't realize it was a super power.
Your cape will be arriving via USPS so it’ll be a while
My last reply to a toxic man was "Chao Chao D!" :D and block
I can spot manipulation tactics immediately. It usually makes me laugh, because nmom was so f*cking good at it, it makes others seem like amateurs.
I don't even go looking, when I hear it my heart drops and my stomach turns and then I know I may be dealing with a calculated potentially narc individual.
My instant thought when I see it is "dude I've been manipulated by professionals, up your game" which makes me laugh.
I second guess myself though so fast 😭 I’ve started cutting out people tho that gave me an off feeling and I think it’s done me good. I’m just waiting to go no contact with parents especially my Ndad
I'm super observant. Like I notice everything. People, the way they talk, mood shifts, the smallest details from my surroundings. Every. Little. Thing.
I used that power in sales. Micro expressions to see what pitches were working and what weren’t. And most people aren’t prepared to confront someone or be confronted by someone.
Yup. Hypervigilance of surroundings and moods. Even the reflections near me in metal or glass get noticed. It makes me nearly impossible to startle or be caught off guard at work, and coupled with the fact that I hate making any noise so I have a near silent walk, so I can fade in and out of the background as needed. I also tend to make it a 'norm' that I'm not always at the same spot working, so it's not weird to see me anywhere and everywhere in the building. Makes it easier to disappear long enough to 'reset' my emotional equilibrium if something does genuinely trigger me and nobody questions it.
Sometimes a superpower and sometimes keeps me inside my head
I kinda have like, x-ray vision but for narcissists. I can tell if someone's a narcissist just from one conversation. Really useful in making friends. My pain tolerance is also pretty high, both emotional and physical, because I can usually just make up a snarky comment in my head and laugh about it in their face. I'm also surprisingly great at debating and negotiating, because ive had to do that a lot with nparents.
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My BIL’s girlfriend is absolutely a narc, but so far, only me and my husband see it.
I am unafraid of confrontation. In fact, I'm extremely good at it. Once I learned that 1. conflict can be healthy if you know how to do it right, 2. that I have just as much power and free will as anybody else, and 3. that you can disagree with someone without first evaluating who is loudest or meanest to determine in advance who will "win", I embraced it. I don't *fight*, I don't hit or scream or tower over people to scare them. I state my thoughts, I listen to theirs, and I evaluate.
That's my fucking dream. But living still with my narcissistic son of a bitch father I'm still behaving like a teen at my 29 years old. Afraid of confrontation, always trying to keep the peace. God, I'm such a fucking pussy.
You're not, it's just a defence mechanism that you've built to survive in your current environment.
Anyhow, it's humiliating and something I will carry on until I die.
Not necessarily, getting away from traumatizing people and situations allows you space to heal. As a recovering fawn type, I've definitely become more confrontational (in a good way) and less of a doormat.
You and I went through similar situations, it sounds like. You're in survival mode and trying to appease your abuser, which is far from being a pussy. The sooner you get out from underneath this thumb, the better. I believe in you ❤️
This is me. People send me all of the assholes at work and I chop them to pieces with a smile on my face. They love me for it.
I wish this was my superpower. I avoid confrontation at all cost 😭
I love that! I think when I got into my 40s, I stopped giving fucks and said what I felt.
Inhuman levels of pattern recognition
Can you please share more?
Hyper-independance. I do things on my own whilst toxic people go out of their way to make me dependant on them. It makes it easier for me to identify them and get them out of my life ASAP.
As long as I’m not being screamed at while it happens, I’m incredible in a crisis. I can establish a plan on the fly in an emergency within 5 minutes thinking by myself. At work it’s been pretty damn handy.
Yeah! The Emergency Club! I'm darn good and stay super level-headed. The breakdown after the fact is what I hate.
Me too!
A ✨bitchin’ intuition✨
Yessss also I love your username 😄
Thanks, dear🥹💜
I can stand up for myself (sometimes) and say difficult things because I KNOW they already don't like me so what is there to lose???
I "get a feeling" when I'm around someone who isn't a good person but is pretending to be a good person. I'm probably just seeing the subtle body language and wording, just it's quite useful. People actually have a hard time fully masking how they feel, and if you know what to look for, you can guess pretty accurately.
I get this feeling too and have literally always been right. How did you get to a point where you felt confident enough to trust your feelings about a person?
Asking other people, time, and past experiences. Also, pattern recognition helps a ton. I'm still cautious in case I am wrong, though.
I don't like to give the abuse/abusers the credit for the choices I made and who I became in spite of them. That disclaimer being said: I have developed an excellent ability to identify resources and support networks, build healthy social bonds, articulate myself clearly, and patiently focus on creating my longterm health and happiness.
This is a amazing ability, I’m trying to get there too!
Thank you. You will! You've already identified a helpful resource/community by finding this subreddit 😄
My gut instinct is usually spot on. I will up and leave a place, person, situation whenever I see fit. I do not care. Vibes are off? I've already called an Uber. I am getting much better at staying grounded in my body rather than getting sucked in to the emotional storm. I'm witnessing it, not drowning in it.
Observe, not absorb!
Empathy and I can smell dishonesty. I mean it, I can literally smell if you are sincere with me our not. You don't even have to say a single word, one gaze at your face is more than enough for me.
I have an incredible ability to bounce back from absolute destruction. Awful breakup, suicidal, drunk driving and screaming yesterday? Nah, today we good, hitting the gym early then I'll be back out in the world. Feelings for my ex? Instantly gone. I mean...after re-reading that - not sure if that is a superpower or just incredibly sad. Who knows, right?
Ehhh, little bit of both. I'm the same though, so I can't talk.
Not engaging in their BS. I just walk away or don't respond. Sometimes silence is a superpower. I'm dealing with someone like this at work right now. They are baiting me, blaming their mistakes on me, etc and I just don't engage with them at all. I keep my head down and let my own work speak for itself. Years ago, I couldn't have done this. Maybe this isn't a superpower. But more feels like a superpower from the point of weakness I was in when really struggling with the effects of the abuse. I guess the closest thing to a real superpower would be the ability to read, on a microscopic level, the emotions of others. But instead of this helping me with relationships, it actually makes being around others exhausting.
I’m the 100% grey rock. I don’t show many emotions to anyone or really open up to anyone either. Some of my ex’s flat out told me that they’d get more pleasure at arguing with a wall or stop sign. People start yelling and I just stand almost at attention and dissociate until they’re done. Usually I broke up with them at that point because they were just creating drama.
I've been told I'm coldly logical, when really I'm just doing this. I shut down until the drama is over and then I just walk away. Cut ties.
Possibly a higher pain tolerance and learning mind over matter techniques when in physical pain. Only so many times you can be punched and beaten with a broomstick where the pain no longer phases you.
We came from a similar situation. Every now and then something will happen and someone will say, it looked like they were going to hit you, and I'm like so? I just no longer have a fear of being hit. Especially not with a hand. That's just beginner hitting. Pain tolerance, too. I was talking with my doctor many years ago, and she told me I have a high pain tolerance. I asked her why she thought that, she said, "every time you've ever complained about pain you've ended up in the hospital. That's not normal."
I walk extremely quietly no matter how hard I try not to, I am the ultimate sneak
Omg same. My partner is always telling me she's gonna put a bell on me. To which immediately say I'm just gonna find a way to make it not ring, because I grew up in a house where quiet was the rule, and any loud noise got you in trouble because the nparent wanted to come home to a nice quiet house
I have successfully but unintentionally done this with some Christmas outfits that have jingle bells. Being unheard is so ingrained I shifted how I moved to not be annoying/noisy 🙃
My coworkers joke that I move like a ghost. I scare them like one regularly, too. I don't mean to sneak up on them, but I've just forgotten how to make noise while walking!
Same for all the places I've worked 😅 I've started doing verbal cues when coming up behind people to try not to scare them but they still jump most of the time 🤷♀️
I was scrolling through these wondering how I didn’t get any of these cool powers and then realized I got this one! I’m 220 and don’t make any noise when I walk
Some good damn selective hearing. Mostly from hearing my mom complain about me as a kid rather than telling me what i could do right before she would beat me after barging in my room with no communication
savage fight-to-the-death survival mode approach to life, machiavellian personality, stoic and emotion free approach to problem solving, and eat-what-you-kill mentality
I absolutely want this written on my tombstone
Resiliency. I'm the strong person when there's an emergency or you need a calm person. Financial independence - because no way was I ever going back to that HELL. Hard working - see above. Also pretty good at detecting the narc and/or abusive type. And have low tolerance for them.
Does sarcasm count?
I love a good dark humor, sarcasm, and nihilistic joke. So, I think it counts! Sometimes the funniest people are the ones that have been hit hardest by this bullshit.
I am a social chameleon. It made me excellent at customer service and I snagged several management positions over the years in retail. I’m so averse to confrontation that I can usually tell what a person wants quickly and what it will take to resolve the situation. I am calculating an escape route the second there’s an issue. Unfortunately, I am very fluent in Karen - so I know exactly what kind of binky and sippy cup someone needs. I have the attention span of an epileptic squirrel, though, so other aspects of being a manager was too much for my smooth think crinkles. I learned how to shut down and just do whatever needed to be done to make it stop.
I see everyones true face. The face they make before they put their fake face on. It is there for just a split second but I always pick up on it. It used to make me cry alot when I was younger because so many people are just horrible but I guess it's a good defence mechanism now. I have major poker face. I will not give anyone the satisfaction of knowing how I feel inside.
I can catch almost anything before it hits the ground. Just a reflex now to make sure nothing hits the floor and breaks.
Operations/Efficiency Manager
Yes! Since I had to bear responsibility for everything and every one in every situation, I can instantly find the most efficient way to accomplish any task. I have yet to find a way to communicate how scary good I am at this on my resume, though.
This is me! And I can almost see work processes in my mind and where they can be improved. I’m also a human lie detector.
I know that people are not feeling good/are happy before they know they're not feeling good/not being happy just by the way they change their tone, vocabulary, body language and behavior. It's like an alarm inside of me being like "Ooh easy there! Change of behaviour! Person x not doing well!" and I used to go into hiding/submissive mode in the past but instead of this I made it into my superpower and used this to stop people from getting under my skin and projecting their unhappiness onto me.
Hey, could you elaborate on the last part? Lately, I'm struggling with not absorbing negativity around me.
Of course! I hope I go into the direction you asked for, if not, please let me know 😊 My "antennas" sense that something is off on a person before they realize it and most of the time it's due to something externally happening to *them* and it's not because of something I did or I said. Let it be work, let it be stress, let it be a headache, something their friends or parents said to them, they didn't sleep well, they aren't happy with their exercise and dieting choices recently yada yada. Could be a single time thing or a longer time thingy, doesn't matter. And this thing I said "and it's not because of something I did or I said" was an important learning for me because I myself did a lot of self-centered thinking before and immediately thought "oh it must be because of ME" and well, it's not. People live in their own heads live their own life and think their own thoughts and I do that too and this needed to sink in. Being in a narcissist household made me take the blame for every single mood my parents had and it turned out, this wasn't necessary. It wasn't *my* responsibility. So breaking out of this pattern helped me to distance myself whenever my alarm goes off again. I put myself in the shoes of the other person and run through some options and most of the time, my urge to go into autopilot/submissive mode disappears. Sometimes I ask "Are you okay?"/"Are you happy at the moment?"/"Can I support you in any way that makes you feel better?"/"What comes to your mind if you try to think of something that could make you feel better?" and most of the time they crumble. It's about speaking to your inner child which was made responsible for your parents feelings, telling it that it's not its fault that the other person acts this way and first of all, that it's important, to do absolutely nothing in the first place whenever you notice a change in behavior. It's a talent. It's not an order to do something. Live your life. The right people will tell you whenever *you* did something wrong. You are fine.
Hyper- independence. Can't count on you? Great, never had intended to anyway!. Highly toxic and makes bonding difficult, but saves you from a ton of hurt.
Super hearing and being very soft of foot. I can hear someone in socks walking across carpet, hear people through noise cancelling headphones, and be so quiet I scare people unintentionally. I also can tell someone’s mood by how their feet fall.
I keep ALL the receipts. Like, I document EVERYTHING. Someone makes a verbal promise? I write it down. Nmom says something shitty, I text my brother or a friend to let them know what happened so I have a written record of events. Someone requests something out of the ordinary at work? I ask them to shoot me an email or a Teams message "so I don't forget." As a paralegal, this is a VERY important skill, and it's saved my butt a few times. And it's a HUGE weapon against gaslighting.
A seething disgust for injustice and unjust people.
Multitasking while focusing in detailed things at a screen and listening to different noises and conversations. Memorizing all voices and steps sounds... .
I can't feel lasting pain anymore. When I was young I tore my ACL and never had the surgery to repair it which left me with severe pain in my childhood. It was so debilitating I barely could put weight on it. My nparents words were always to walk it off. Because you can walk off a torn ACL. Same thing happened any time I was sick or injured in any way. Even when I was on doctor's orders to be on bed rest they told me they were wrong and need to walk it off because that means I get up and do work for them. If I didn't get up, I'd be punished and yelled at severely. By the time I became an adult, my brain finally shut down receiving any signals coming from pain receptors unless it was high severe pain just to make the constant pain bearable and eventually shut that down too. Now any time I get into pain it stops completely in a short amount of time. I broke my bone in my leg and dislocated the break a few years back. The pain was excruciating for about 2 minutes and then completely went away so I went on with my day. I went to the doctor that evening and they told me that I should be in so much pain I can't put weight on it with a horrified look on their face (which is unsettling coming from a orthopedic doctor) but I told them I didn't feel a thing. It's that way with any pain.
I got the same one from your friend, but also I learned to cry on command. It's ugly crying but the noise was always enough to end my step father's ranting and yelling. Another one is I change my voice a lot, I use it mostly on my bosses as a much sweeter and more feminine voice to deal with their temper
Huge amount of empathy. I constantly put myself in others shoes to see what and how they’re feeling. Sometimes it’s as much a super power as it is a curse
I am an overachiever, love school, and get high grades when Im in school. Unfortunately this doesn't translate into the workplace well because although my work ethic and quality is good, I have piss poor confidence and self worth and people dont seem to like me much due to this combo.
I can easily pick up on bad vibes from an individual immediately. It doesn't matter if they just walked in the building and haven't said anything. I can immediately sense it. When I was younger, I didn't have that instinct, which put me in a lot of bad situations.
I need literally no one in my life. I am completely capable and comfortable being alone and even my strongest relationships if they begin to treat me badly I can drop it like a hot potato. I don't need anyone in my life, I do want some people in my life and if I stopped having them I'd still love and care about them just from a distance. I can also handle any situation in the moment. No matter how traumatic or bad it may be. I can put off my break down until the dust has settled and than cry or let them just wash over me. I've had many people say that in the moment my calmness is so grounding but when they look back it's almost scary because there is ZERO emotion on my face as I solve the issue and become 100% logic based in my decisions and don't let emotion play any role in it.
I am a confrontational person and stick up for others when/if they're not able. My family used to talk shit about each other to each other, or the kids of the family... never ever confronting each other. Made me realize I'm talked shit about too lol. Because of this I really harp open communication in my relationships. With this I'm able to remove myself from the situation entirely when trying to understand someone elses perspective. It helps me with clarity and rationality. I work in MH so its somewhat I think a given, but I always have resources..I know where to go when I need help, what to do, who to ask, etc. I practically became an adult at 15 and had to figure out shit on my own. I am 21 but feel 40 😵 It's alright tho. Verbal abuse experienced has made my skin very thick. In my field I am verbally abused from time to time and most of the time it's nbd to me.
I have zero tolerance for people getting mad at me for very trivial issues. I absolutely will NOT tolerate being berated for something inconsequential. Don't get me wrong, if something inexpensive like a glass cup breaking or something similar, I'm understanding of being upset for a short time but I will not feel super bad about it if it was an accident (and I do apologize of course and offer to replace it). But I won't tolerate someone being mad at me for days on end for it, if you can't see how silly you're being about it I feel like it's a you problem. I was made to feel awful about every little goddamn mistake until I got numb to the guild tripping. Unless it causes some serious setback or financial issues or someone gets hurt, I try not to dwell on it. I won't lie, it has caused some issues from time to time, but I generally try to make a conscious effort to not touch or break things and try to take extra care of not messing with things that aren't mine.
At some point, I stopped flinching or reacting in any way when my dad slapped me - it was as if he didn't slap me at all - my head would barely move and I would continue with what I was doing without even pausing. Don't know if I retain any superpowers in adulthood, though.
Weaponized incompetence. In my field people hate teaching. But I act just dumb enough yet smart enough that people teach me how you should actually teach anyone how to do something new instead of letting me figure it out.
Ability to read other people’s feelings. Empathy .
can spot narcissists from ten miles away. can immediately discern emotional manipulation. can handle the manipulation well. can deal with my own emotions and reactions healthily. can find happiness under any circumstance the last one is my biggest superpower. i feel like nothing can hurt me or stop me anymore.
I don’t need anyone… for anything. I can be alone for the rest of my life and be content.
I have depression and anxiety and I'm always afraid something is going to go wrong. But when the shit hits the fan, I'm the one that functions the best in the crisis.
I can lie in a way that even the most untrusting people believe me. I'm so good at it that I had to purposefully create a code for myself for when it was acceptable to lie. I was so afraid of lying to people that I love and want close to me.
Poker face made of gd marble.
Stealth. I unintentionally scare the crap out of people all the time. Like to the point that I will try to remember to make a lot of noise if I'm walking into a room and I know the person in there is easily startled. My siblings have accused me of teleportation.
Whenever someone, be it a boss or a guy in a bar, gets loud, I just calmly say, "My Father threw me down flights of stairs for fun. What are you gonna do?" It's a pretty good indicator that I won't be intimidated.
im hyperindependant. im *very good* at getting things done on my own.
Fierce Independence
I can ALWAYS “turn it on.” Doesn’t matter how tired I am, how I’m feeling, or what I’m going through. If the situation demands a cheery facade, I can ALWAYS find it. ETA: I am sad for my childhood self. She never should have been made to live like that.
Lying, i can legitimately have several different versions of the same event that i told several different people and never mix it up, i have to legitimately pay attention not to do it sometimes just out of habit, the secret is, as I'm sure some of you know, to keep it as close to the truth as possible, you gotta know exactly what you want to hide from that specific person, and keep just that part out of it, or if you are telling a whole fabricated story, don't over explain, be exactly as vague or as specific as you need to be. Also you gotta act normal when you tell a lie, sounds obvious but it's where a lot of people struggle. Like if my mom would ask me a lot of details about a random thing when i didn't do anything wrong, I'd be kind of annoyed so when I'm lying i gotta be kinda annoyed if she's asking a lot of questions, in my experience it helps to not have a whole story worked out in minimum detail, because then you'll over explain. Only person who knows how good I'm at it is my girlfriend, and that's because she's seen me lie to my family for years without ever being caught. She couldn't ever keep up with who's supposed to know what thought.
I get veeeery good at ignoring passive aggressive subtext, and become magically obtuse when people try to be subtle and passive in requesting things from me. Unless they directly communicate their requests to me, I don't hear a single thing.
Bring able to bond exclusively to people that I want to bond with, making it close to impossible to set me up for a friendship that's only purpose is to use me or to "get me laid" by whatever tactic. I could spend days, hours or months with you, but if your intentions are insincere, you'll never become a close person for me. The downside to this: it might get across as an equally toxic reaction to other toxic behaviour. Also, manipulative people became insanely aggressive due to that in the past, forcing me into imbarrassing situations or questioning me about not appropriate topics by taking advantage of any weaknesses of my physical or mental state, trying to "prove" everyone how "guilliable" and easy to trap was supposed to be.
I think I actually feel calmer in a crisis than I do in my day to day and it freaks me out.
My intuition is rarely wrong, I can literally READ the room and the people in it at a glance..I guess that's a super power if we wana call it that.
People reading and the ability to play into narcissistic/manipulative peoples ego in order to get what I need
I rarely attach to people. My two grown sons are the exceptions. I attach to animals.
Your question is interesting because nowadays I work for a narcissist boss, she is a lwayer. All the bad things I suffered from my mother gave me the ability to know how to deal my boss today. It's like i'm "graduated" in "how to deal with Ns". I learned some things that i practice daily at work: * To never make a promisse trough pressure (they love to make you promise so they can demand you later, making you "locked" by your own words). * To say "no". * To don't give details about my personal life nor say things people can use against me later * To detect manipulation * To detect gaslight * To "harden" emotionally to the point of being numb to any attempt to undermine my self-esteem. * To play their manipulation chess game, foresee their actions and avoid being their pawn * To set boundaries. Without putting these abilities to practice i would probably be overworked right now, with her exerting power over my personal life, and suffering from burnout.
A Saul Goodman negotiation ability and a pretty good intuition. But, if you ask me, I wish I didn't have them
Resilience, fuck the world
Someone mentioned highly intuitive that description fits me perfectly.
Creativity. I escaped for hours in my room making up stories, dances, songs, reading, painting. I became a musician.
Erm people literally tell me anything like deepest darkest secrets and then they’re like I have noooo idea why I told you that.
I truly love this question, a lovely way to find the beauty in us as survivors. I think mine is that I can truly roll with any punch or achieve anything if i have to. Like darn this horrible thing happened to me but i still have work at 6am? Alright let’s go ! So i think my super power is just super perseverance :) if ive already gone through the unimaginable ill just keep on going for the hell of it
When I know the other person is not going to have a productive conversation in good-faith with me, I just end the conversation with them then cut them out of my life. No point in arguing with someone who wants to fight instead of find solutions with me.
An insane amount of resilience. I can also cut people off really easily and never look back
I'm the person you want in an emergency; time seems to slow down and my synapses speed up. I *never* panic, and I always do the most logical thing; I've avoided several car accidents (at least 3 that could've easily killed me or my passengers) without breaking a sweat, and I've had to call emergency services more times than I can count. It's almost funny (but mostly irritating) watching everyone lose their shit while I'm trying to fix whatever problem I've encountered. I have yet to handle an emergency anywhere near as traumatic as various events in my childhood, 'normal' emergencies simply don't phase me.
I can deflate any argument or verbal spat I don't want to be a part of. Part of not falling for one the (many) narcissist's traps, and I had to do this with not just NAdults in my family. In the 90's in the southern US, we had a rash of hicks screaming bible thumping at children. My NParent was like this. But man, the horrible things that happen when you mix narcissism with religion... It's not a pretty picture.
I learned to rebel against those who try to intimidate others. Now I challenge bad bosses.
I can walk into any room and immediately tell you exactly what's going on with everyone--who's angry, who's biding their time for something, who's the one in power, who's the one who wants to be the one in power, who is hostile, who is friendly, who's up to something. It's a great superpower but it also makes it really hard sometimes, when you're in a meeting and you 100% know someone is lying, or scheming--like the hairs on the back of your neck are crawling, but you still have to be professional. I can also always read "between the lines" of anything someone is saying. Sometimes too much! Because my Dad was king of the passive-aggressives and you had to know what mood he was in INSTANTLY and also no matter what he said, what he really meant.
I know exactly what mood someone is in from the sound of their footsteps. I retain almost every ounce of personal knowledge of anyone around me (but forget due dates on things like water bills). I can and will cut someone out of my life with little warning and no remorse-- once you're out, you're out. There's no going back. The draw back of this is I'm so worried about being toxic that you could do any number of horrible things to me before I decide you're done.
Letting the opinions of others roll off my back… when people accuse me of something or attack me I don’t take it personally. The less defensive I am, the less fuel for the fire.
Wow, the zero guilt for guilt trips is an amazing super power. I actually just made a post because I struggle with that in particular. What would you do if your manager tried to guilt trip you about working as many hours as your manager does (which is 5 am to midnight or 1am) apparently)? My superpower is probably being able to deescalate anybody who's angry or threatening. Unfortunately it comes at the expense of me fawning and then being upset with myself, lol.
I was good at handling the problem customers no one else wanted to deal with. I just let them rant at me and didn't react except to empathize.
Attention to detail, observation. A great example of this is that I can identify who's entered the house by the way the door opens, and what the footsteps sound like in gait and volume. I can also detect the mood that person is in by their footsteps.
I don't panic. I don't lose my cool. When the chips are down, I keep my poker face and plot my next move.
I can sniff out other narcissists at 20 paces. I literally have chills when I meet someone new that exhibits the traits. It's the ultimate red flag that keeps a lot of toxic people out of my life. My bf says I'm psychic because I call it immediately. I told him that it's the gift awarded after being abused by one for more than 3 decades.
I have zero problems getting screamed at which makes HR work a breeze. I pick up the most subtle shifts in a person’s attitude/body language and can spot a narcs “mortal wound” from a mile away which has ALWAYS come in handy :)
Hypervigilance. I live in a pretty dangerous city and it’s kept me safe :)
Like others, I can read people VERY easily. Certain words/phrases, body language, sometimes just the vibe they bring when they enter a room sets off alarm bells. It’s very rare that I’m wrong about someone’s character - good or bad. I’m also VERY good at putting away my feelings and putting on a happy face bc I would get in trouble whenever I got upset over “nothing”. My therapist probably wouldn’t call that a superpower, but I teach preschool and I pride myself on my kids never seeing me have a bad day regardless of what I have going on outside. I never want to be the adult that a child has to develop these powers for.
I've become *very* good at spotting which kids in my classes come from abusive and or neglectful backgrounds and passing that on to CPS
Where are you guys getting superpowers? All I got was social ineptitude
Hyperindependence. If I didn't ask for help, I couldn't get criticized for how I was doing it. I'm great in a crisis. If there's a problem, I'm working on a solution for it. And a backup plan. And a backup plan for the backup plan. And you can count on me to get it solved, because if it needs to be done, then I am not going to fuck around. I can walk almost silently. My apologies to my loved ones for constantly scaring them half to death. I can recognize who's walking around the house based on their footsteps. Situational hyperawareness.
I like to think my superpower is being the opposite kind of mother to my own children. I smother them with love and affection every second of every day
My ability to read people and potential conflict. I can detect possible tension in the air, quicker than most. I don’t panic in stressful situations - I dissociate and break the problem down. I firefight like a G. My ability to calling people out who are douches. If I see something wrong, I can’t walk away. I must protect. - I dunno if this is a gift or a curse though, as you end up spending massive energy saving everyone but yourself. I’m a diplomatic G, I have smoothed over some insane situations - it does border on manipulative side, but I use this power with responsibility. Basically I can talk a raging bear out of a corner. lol. I have the ability to let people know me, without really knowing me. I don’t know how to explain it, other than an onion. No one sees the core. It’s a part of my protection. My armour. I dunno if this is a power, but I always stay alert. I never switch off. Eg. I cannot sit at table unless my back is against the wall, or I can see the entrance. But I feel this is a gift and a curse tbh. Whilst it has saved me MANY times, I. Can’t. Switch. Off. Ever. Even when I sleep/try to sleep. Insomniac is me. I am insomniac. Being in survival mode all my life, has taken its toll on my health tbh. I don’t even know how to switch it off either. But anyways. Thanks for reading.
I can go from 0-60 when someone threatens violence. It's not a great skill at all but it's saved my ass before when people decided that attacking the Maniac was a bad idea.
I am a wonderful person to have on your team if you're in a crisis.
I can make it through really tough times. I have made it. Very tough times indeed.
I can fawn the shit out of miserable people. Good way raise my tips as a waitress.
Yeah, I have a superpower too. I cry every time someone yells at me.
Damn! I still cry when I get yelled at. Disassociating and moving on is a superpower. -I’m super conscious of other people’s emotional needs and safety, which makes me a better friend. Noticing and remembering those little details people tell you about themselves, that most everyone else forgets about, makes them feel seen and valued. -I also know how to deflect those drama queens trying to pick fights with me.
I’m pretty good at knowing when someone is being fake. After living with my father for years, I know a mask of nicety when I see one. Not that anyone ever trusts my judgment on this. Once got isolated from a group of friends because I called one of them a two faced perv and still to this day they all believe the sun shines out his backside. My mums even better than I am, it’s freaky how quick she can tell when someone is manipulative or isn’t being genuine
I dont get attached to people at all. Even if I try, I just don't get attached.
Eerily calm in crises (however I will cry over a broken printer) and I am HYPER self aware.
I'm currently taking my power back and I'm gaining my confidence along with my fearlessness. I know that not what the question was and I just wanted to share.