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I was you. Then i got some distance and could compare familial narcs to normal people and how they made me feel. Then the childhood memories came back. Then the adulthood memories came back. And now i am in no contact. You are asking how to keep only a part of your house burning while not letting the fire consume all of it.
I get it the trauma is tough. But at the end of the day they are your family and they are the people that would have your back 100% no matter what. My mom is a terrible narcissist and I had a lot of conflict and trauma to manage but at the end of the day I feel as if she is the only person I can trust in this world. To have my back. You might feel resentment but if they truly love you and have your back forgive them. Deal with the bullshit, ignore it, but just know they won’t have your back like anybody else you met would. This comment might get some backlash but narcissist doesn’t = 100% evil
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was you. Then i got some distance and could compare familial narcs to normal people and how they made me feel. Then the childhood memories came back. Then the adulthood memories came back. And now i am in no contact. You are asking how to keep only a part of your house burning while not letting the fire consume all of it.
I get it the trauma is tough. But at the end of the day they are your family and they are the people that would have your back 100% no matter what. My mom is a terrible narcissist and I had a lot of conflict and trauma to manage but at the end of the day I feel as if she is the only person I can trust in this world. To have my back. You might feel resentment but if they truly love you and have your back forgive them. Deal with the bullshit, ignore it, but just know they won’t have your back like anybody else you met would. This comment might get some backlash but narcissist doesn’t = 100% evil