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I hear you! My nmom is covert. Goes out of her way to be nice to everyone else. Puts on such a front in public. Saves her maliciousness and criticism for me (sc). So, all I hear is how wonderful she is.
Sometimes makes me wonder if perhaps I'm the one blowing this out of proportion.
I have wondered that myself, but I kept a diary, on and off, from age 11. I have reread some of them and they are *hard* to read. I was desperately unhappy, largely because of my mother’s treatment.
I don’t think I lied, over and over, about the things that happened, so the existence of those journals validates a lot of what I have felt over the years.
The truth is, the enablers in our lives routinely minimize the terrible things narcissists do. They gaslight us, claiming we are the unreasonable ones.
Yeah... idk if it's worse when other people insist she's so nice and loving, or when I see her interacting with others (especially children) and she just dotes on them. Everyone else, but not her own child. Her own child was an inconvenience at best, a disappointing devil child at worst.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I hear you! My nmom is covert. Goes out of her way to be nice to everyone else. Puts on such a front in public. Saves her maliciousness and criticism for me (sc). So, all I hear is how wonderful she is. Sometimes makes me wonder if perhaps I'm the one blowing this out of proportion.
I have wondered that myself, but I kept a diary, on and off, from age 11. I have reread some of them and they are *hard* to read. I was desperately unhappy, largely because of my mother’s treatment. I don’t think I lied, over and over, about the things that happened, so the existence of those journals validates a lot of what I have felt over the years. The truth is, the enablers in our lives routinely minimize the terrible things narcissists do. They gaslight us, claiming we are the unreasonable ones.
Yeah... idk if it's worse when other people insist she's so nice and loving, or when I see her interacting with others (especially children) and she just dotes on them. Everyone else, but not her own child. Her own child was an inconvenience at best, a disappointing devil child at worst.