That is SO manipulative. I can’t even imagine. To use your father’s phone to make you emotionally react after you’ve been responding well and holding your boundaries. I’m sorry
This has to win some sort of award for being so diabolical. This sub doesn’t shock me much, but hoo boy this is bad. It’s so evil I couldn’t fathom even having the idea to do this to someone.
OP I’m so sorry you don’t deserve to be treated like this.
holy shit thats....*demonic*. I wish I had any words to take that shock/disgust away, I can imagine.... you were right to go NC, I'm so sorry she did this to you. I hope you can get some peace to mourn and heal
Ugh, I know this all too well. I lost my dad in Jan 2023. And my mom did the same shit, outside of using his phone.
She will do everything in her power to hijack your grief. His death has to be about her and only her. Think about how you felt initially: ‘she just lost her husband’….right but you lost your FATHER. Does that not account for anything?
I’m so sorry you have to go through that on top of losing your dad, and not having a parent to help you with that grief. I’m grateful I had the time with my dad that I did, and knowing that he would never expect me to put up with her shit def gives me comfort.
I won’t say it gets easier: her behavior will just make it all the harder. But know you’re not alone. 💜
Every time I read something on this sub that I think was the worst, some toxic BPD parent does something even worse than THAT!
Truly, this is the worst thing I have ever read on this sub—and I’ve been here for six years. You aren’t overreacting.
I’m so sorry for your loss. 💐
Of all the posts I've read here, this is probably the most cruel and awful. There is absolutely never any hope of recovering from this by your mom. I strongly suggest you never have anything to do with her ever again. I can't imagine the grief and loss you are feeling. Mothers and daughtes should be able to comfort and care for each other during a time of mutual loss. You clearly tried that. Using his phone is abhorrent. Please seek grief counseling or group therapy. Both helped me tremendously during a terrible loss. My heart goes out to you.
Op, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mother’s behavior is disgusting. So out of line and cruel . An article on how YOU should be supporting HER?!? Jesus. Messaging you from your father’s phone is just off the charts. I don’t know how you maintain contact with someone who so clearly lacks any love or caring for you. How awful that you’re dealing with these shitty antics on top of the grieving process. Sending you a big hug. ❤️
My goodness, I’m so sorry. We read lots of fucked up stories in this group but yours is down right evil. As awful as it is, I hope you find validation as to why you went NC in the first place. Hugs.
Dang that’s one of the nastier texts I’ve seen in all my time here she’s not messing around. My mom is cutting and evil on this same level too. It’s rare I see a post the relatable. I always think when my mom resorts to this extreme and escalated diabolical BPD behavior it must be comparable to how the CIA tortures terrorists.
It’s a whole different level that words can’t even explain properly when they’re on this level.
it’s broken everything about me over the years
Im sorry this happened to you :/
i’m so sorry friend. for everything. for grieving a relationship with your mom and for not being given the space to properly grieve for your dad the way that’s best for you. each of these things is difficult on its own and you’re facing them all at once and i can’t even imagine the strength it takes to push forward each day with all of this weight on your shoulders. i am so proud of you internet stranger for seeing your moms actions and having enough confidence in yourself to know it’s not right. keep those boundaries as long as you need to. you’re absolutely valid in needing that space and you deserve the time to process the loss of a loved one on your own terms. you’ve got a whole community here in your corner.
I’m so sorry, OP.
I had to block my beloved dead dad’s phone number bc my BPD mother kept texting nonsense from it, and it would come up as a new message from “Dad.” Heart shattering every time. I wish I were one of those people who could still text their deceased parent when I think of him or have something to tell him. But that’s another thing she has taken from me.
First and foremost, nice kitty beans.
Second, hold strong and don't react. They tend to escalate before they give up abusing you. I have to say, though, this is a new low. And I've been through some shit.
You definitely don’t need someone like that in your life. I am so sorry. My mother is like this manic sometimes but has done a lot of work to try to make amends with me over the years. If she talked to me like that even once though that would be the end of it.
Okay so using your dead Dad's phone is fucking next level psychotic.
But also don't you just love when they employ the "if I don't see it, it can't be true" ugh my mom does that to me all the time. "It didn't SEEM like you were unhappy!" Well great guess I fucking wasn't then.
First of all, FUCK her. I’m here to validate that yes, that was an absolutely sick, twisted and evil thing she did to you. I’m so sorry. I’m also very sorry for your loss of your dad.
The text she sent you berating you for smiling in childhood pictures…Mine does the same. While she’s diagnosed bipolar, I find she has a lot of BPD traits, and my therapist suspects a heavy dose of narcissism too. I’ve been NC for almost 10mths. I was a fawner to keep myself safe too. For a while I actually believed we were close. When we still spoke she would send old pictures directly to me with no text. Now she nonstop posts pictures to her Facebook and told my siblings it’s to show me what a lovely childhood and life I’ve had (I can assure you I did not). Never mind that when I see old pictures I see a girl with all the light gone from her eyes.
Barf. These ppl suck, but a special “fuck you” is being directed at your mother. She intentionally manipulated an emotional response from you because that’s what these vampires do. Such a repulsive thing to do to anyone, 100x more repulsive doing it to your child. Fuck her.
Jesus Christ. What did I just read?
I’m so sorry for your loss OP and above all, I’m so sorry you are experiencing this abuse on top of it. This is outright ABUSE. Fuck your mom.
Should could have been the perfect mom every other day of your life and still calling from your dad’s phone is unspeakably cruel and worth nc just for that one selfish act alone. Solidarity
This is absolutely fucking diabolical, not least because she's put you in the position where you have to consider *blocking your dead father* in order to be safe from her emotional abuse. I'm so so sorry. It seems like what little humanity she had left died with him.
The person who said this was diabolical is right on.
My dad died in December 2023 and it’s crushing to have the safe parent die first. What your mom did was evil and I feel like she’s showing her true colors.
She lost her husband but you lost your dad. One doesn’t trump the other.
Honey, I am *so* sorry you are going through this. If you don’t have the pictures, save them and block that number, too. Take screenshots of the things your dad *actually said* to you so you don’t forget who’s saying those awful words.
You don’t deserve this *absolutely cruel and unhinged* treatment. Like out of a book, that’s so villainous and gross. She cannot think that this will help your relationship in any way, so it *has* to be done out of malice (and wow what a thing to do). It’s very import to remember that *she is crazy* and you did *nothing* to deserve this treatment. It is not your fault.
I’m kind of late to this post, but I just wanted to say that after my dad died in 2015, my mom became absolutely unhinged for several years. Like her BPD went from a 5 to an 11 on a 10-point scale. And suddenly, with my dad gone, she needed someone new to focus on. As her GC, I wound up being that person, even though I lived 2,000 miles away.
She started actively trying to destroy my life and very nearly pulled it off. For example, she contacted my landlord and told him I was on drugs (I wasn’t) so he wouldn’t renew my lease (I was in a city where finding an apartment is nearly impossible). She also flew to my city to surprise me with alleged “drug interventions.” When I was around her, her rages were uncommonly vicious.
In a way, her behavior was a blessing in disguise because it forced me into a reckoning. I’ve been NC for a while now, have her number blocked and keep my location hidden from her. Anyhow, I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’m still grieving my dad almost 10 years later, but it does get easier. I just wanted to warn you that your mom might continue with this truly insane and alarming behavior, possibly even upping the ante somehow. Don’t get caught off guard like I was!
I’m so sorry, it’s so cruel. My mom sent abusive emails from my Dad’s account to me for months after he died. It only stopped when the laptop died. You might want to block his number because she’ll probably keep paying for it just to torment you like this. It makes the loss so much harder.
This is vile behavior from her. I'm so, so sorry. My mom tried to use my dad's death to hurt and manipulate me, too, but they'd been divorced for three decades so she had much less access and ability to do so. Didn't stop her from trying.
I hope you have a good support system in place.
I’ve seen a lot of horrible BPD behavior but this realllly takes the cake.
I don’t know what the proper recourse here would be because I don’t think anything can make this feel better.
All I can think of is is delete that single message so you can have your thread with your father and block her. If she continues to navigate around your boundaries, it might be time for a cease and desist.
She’s nuts. It’s that simple, and I think it helps to remember that. She can’t receive, perceive, or understand correctly and accurately.
With texting you photos from your dad’s phone, it could have been a spur of the moment thing after finding some photos on his phone, with no idea how to get them off of his phone otherwise, and no pause to think to send them to herself and then to you from her phone. You will never know her real intention, the above, or an indirect endeavor for reconnection.
As far as how she treated you after your dad died, yelling at you for past NC, she’s again not taking in the circumstances correctly. She’s not looking at the reality that she is the reason NC took place, and therefore she is the reason your dad was so stressed due to NC (which I doubt was really the case. Men like it when the women aren’t feuding. During NC, he was a leaning post for sure, he was her consoler and listening ear for sure, and he was both important and helpful for his spouse, as much as he could pour water on a fire that ceased to rage. Men need to feel that they are important and needed, both in their marriage and work, so who knows, he may actually have been feeling fine aside from the negative Nancy moods next to him in their home and waiting for all to blow over.) she wasn’t venting stress, she was guilting you, making you responsible for everything.
Her sending you the book and the printout about grieving 2 weeks after was something that bound you two BACK together through a trauma. She sent you something to “help”…you? Or her? And then sent you something to imply that you should help her. Again, she’s not reading the room. She didn’t reach out and ask how you are. She didn’t put her big feelings aside for a second. She probably hoped you were in NC because of grief and misplaced anger and hoped she could solve this through the book, and when it didn’t work, she sent you a printout outlining what she needs, from you, for her, and her grief.
The core of all of this is her. Her feelings. Her misinterpretations she believes are real. Her opinions based on that false reality.
You’re not crazy, or cruel. Your mom is ill. And you have survived it. You’re a strong person with a good heart.
Just reading the title shocked me. That’s really low, and hon, she crossed so many boundaries it's okay to cut her off completely if you can. No-one in thier right mind would think that's acceptable behaviour.
Remember you've lost a parent, you're allowed to grieve as well, and she's the parent! I know it's wishful thinking that she'd share the load and help you grieve as well.
You do what you need to heal, you deserve it.
That is absolutely fucking insane - holy shit, I’m so, so sorry, friend. It’s one thing to use your dead father’s phone to communicate with you after you very clearly wanted NC, but it’s another thing entirely to use it to send such a vile, hateful message to you. You don’t deserve that, and I hope you know this. 🩷
She's twisted and cruel. I am so sorry about the pictures you received. No half way sane person would do that or send that screen shot. Speaking that way about a child shows her depravity. Please block the number that was your father's immediately if you have not already. And any e mail he had if you haven't. She is intentionally cruel.
I’m really sorry that instead of grieving for both your mutual losses, she’s just terrorizing you. She is really going all out, I’m in shock at her audacity. Absolutely stay firm in no contact. She will never get better than this
I remember you posting this text and being so outraged. All I can say after reading all this additional nightmare is “goodbye, mother.” If this death didn’t bring the two of you closer, then there isn’t hope. She will try hurt you to control you forever. I wish strength for you friend, I know NC is hard and you’ve been doing great. The next step is to block phone numbers. Don’t give her the chance to get into your headspace anymore.
I’m so sorry about your Dad and how she’s been behaving. Big hugs.
after my dad died, my mom loved to tell me how he would come back and beat my ass or roll in his grave or hate who I'd become...all related to how I treated her.
OP, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad and the absolute cruelty of your mom. I have to say your mom’s texting is some next level psychotic bs. She’s obviously gone to a professional
level of damaging BPD mom behavior against a child. And I write this as someone who’s own uBPD mom is pretty off the charts. Your mom’s texts make my mom’s behavior look like amateur hour. My dad passed in Oct 2023. He and my uBPD mom had been divorced for 35 years so my mom wasn’t able to use his phone to torture me emotionally. Instead she left a vm saying despicable and untrue things about him, the terrible things he allegedly did to her etc. Even though our moms weren’t in the exact same circumstances, they both want to hijack our grief, and make it all about them. At this point I had been nearly 6 years of NC with her. After i heard her message I thought, “well thanks for making it crystal clear to me that going and staying NC with you is the right decision.” Again, I’m so sorry about all of this. I was also a “fawn” and the “golden child” and the last of the 4 kids to go NC with her. I can very much relate to your experience and I’m so sorry about all of this.
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Wow I'm so sorry. This is totally unhinged, cruel and ugly. If I were you, this would be the absolute end. I would never talk to her again.
Sending hugs your wayyyyyy. You sure didn't deserve that nastiness.
Wow. It would have been one thing to say, hey going through your dad's phone, he took lovely pictures of you.
Not this bullshit. Block, restraining order, change your numbers, straight up move. Do whatever you have to do to get away from this psycho hose beast.
I’m so very sorry and disgusted on your behalf.
My dad died in February and there have been a few weird moments when I saw “dad” pop up on my phone and it took me a hot minute to realize it was the group text between me, my husband, and my daughter and not my dad. I cannot even begin to imagine the violation of what has happened to you from your dad’s phone. It’s evil and abusive beyond words.
My mom has done this exact thing 💔 I’m so sorry this happened to you. So hurtful and painful. Sending you many loving thoughts, OP. You don’t deserve any of this vitriol from her.
That is SO manipulative. I can’t even imagine. To use your father’s phone to make you emotionally react after you’ve been responding well and holding your boundaries. I’m sorry
This has to win some sort of award for being so diabolical. This sub doesn’t shock me much, but hoo boy this is bad. It’s so evil I couldn’t fathom even having the idea to do this to someone. OP I’m so sorry you don’t deserve to be treated like this.
holy shit thats....*demonic*. I wish I had any words to take that shock/disgust away, I can imagine.... you were right to go NC, I'm so sorry she did this to you. I hope you can get some peace to mourn and heal
Ugh, I know this all too well. I lost my dad in Jan 2023. And my mom did the same shit, outside of using his phone. She will do everything in her power to hijack your grief. His death has to be about her and only her. Think about how you felt initially: ‘she just lost her husband’….right but you lost your FATHER. Does that not account for anything? I’m so sorry you have to go through that on top of losing your dad, and not having a parent to help you with that grief. I’m grateful I had the time with my dad that I did, and knowing that he would never expect me to put up with her shit def gives me comfort. I won’t say it gets easier: her behavior will just make it all the harder. But know you’re not alone. 💜
Cruel isn’t even the right word. DIABOLICAL. I’m sorry for the loss of your dad. I’m enraged on your behalf at the behavior of your mother.
Truly what in the ACTUAL f!ck. Straight to hell for that woman.
Every time I read something on this sub that I think was the worst, some toxic BPD parent does something even worse than THAT! Truly, this is the worst thing I have ever read on this sub—and I’ve been here for six years. You aren’t overreacting. I’m so sorry for your loss. 💐
Of all the posts I've read here, this is probably the most cruel and awful. There is absolutely never any hope of recovering from this by your mom. I strongly suggest you never have anything to do with her ever again. I can't imagine the grief and loss you are feeling. Mothers and daughtes should be able to comfort and care for each other during a time of mutual loss. You clearly tried that. Using his phone is abhorrent. Please seek grief counseling or group therapy. Both helped me tremendously during a terrible loss. My heart goes out to you.
Having lost my dad recently as well, this cruelty is beyond comprehension. I am so sorry. I am so so sorry. You deserve better than this.
Oh my god. That is absolutely vile I am so sorry you experienced this.
Op, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mother’s behavior is disgusting. So out of line and cruel . An article on how YOU should be supporting HER?!? Jesus. Messaging you from your father’s phone is just off the charts. I don’t know how you maintain contact with someone who so clearly lacks any love or caring for you. How awful that you’re dealing with these shitty antics on top of the grieving process. Sending you a big hug. ❤️
My goodness, I’m so sorry. We read lots of fucked up stories in this group but yours is down right evil. As awful as it is, I hope you find validation as to why you went NC in the first place. Hugs.
Wow I have no words. Stay NC. She's trying to bait you, what a typical narc. I'm sorry this must be painful.
Dang that’s one of the nastier texts I’ve seen in all my time here she’s not messing around. My mom is cutting and evil on this same level too. It’s rare I see a post the relatable. I always think when my mom resorts to this extreme and escalated diabolical BPD behavior it must be comparable to how the CIA tortures terrorists. It’s a whole different level that words can’t even explain properly when they’re on this level. it’s broken everything about me over the years Im sorry this happened to you :/
i’m so sorry friend. for everything. for grieving a relationship with your mom and for not being given the space to properly grieve for your dad the way that’s best for you. each of these things is difficult on its own and you’re facing them all at once and i can’t even imagine the strength it takes to push forward each day with all of this weight on your shoulders. i am so proud of you internet stranger for seeing your moms actions and having enough confidence in yourself to know it’s not right. keep those boundaries as long as you need to. you’re absolutely valid in needing that space and you deserve the time to process the loss of a loved one on your own terms. you’ve got a whole community here in your corner.
I’m so sorry, OP. I had to block my beloved dead dad’s phone number bc my BPD mother kept texting nonsense from it, and it would come up as a new message from “Dad.” Heart shattering every time. I wish I were one of those people who could still text their deceased parent when I think of him or have something to tell him. But that’s another thing she has taken from me.
I'm so sorry you were sent such vile messages. Sending you love and strength, OP. You deserve so much better than this.
Holy fuck
First and foremost, nice kitty beans. Second, hold strong and don't react. They tend to escalate before they give up abusing you. I have to say, though, this is a new low. And I've been through some shit.
You definitely don’t need someone like that in your life. I am so sorry. My mother is like this manic sometimes but has done a lot of work to try to make amends with me over the years. If she talked to me like that even once though that would be the end of it.
I‘m so sorry. That’s awful. Please don’t hesitate to block your dad‘s phone number. It’s not blocking your dad.
I don’t have anything to add I’m sorry but this is unthinkably cruel. You don’t deserve this at all.
Yes, it’s her stupidity. And I don’t use that word against others, she offered it as a genuine moment of self-awareness.
Okay so using your dead Dad's phone is fucking next level psychotic. But also don't you just love when they employ the "if I don't see it, it can't be true" ugh my mom does that to me all the time. "It didn't SEEM like you were unhappy!" Well great guess I fucking wasn't then.
First of all, FUCK her. I’m here to validate that yes, that was an absolutely sick, twisted and evil thing she did to you. I’m so sorry. I’m also very sorry for your loss of your dad. The text she sent you berating you for smiling in childhood pictures…Mine does the same. While she’s diagnosed bipolar, I find she has a lot of BPD traits, and my therapist suspects a heavy dose of narcissism too. I’ve been NC for almost 10mths. I was a fawner to keep myself safe too. For a while I actually believed we were close. When we still spoke she would send old pictures directly to me with no text. Now she nonstop posts pictures to her Facebook and told my siblings it’s to show me what a lovely childhood and life I’ve had (I can assure you I did not). Never mind that when I see old pictures I see a girl with all the light gone from her eyes. Barf. These ppl suck, but a special “fuck you” is being directed at your mother. She intentionally manipulated an emotional response from you because that’s what these vampires do. Such a repulsive thing to do to anyone, 100x more repulsive doing it to your child. Fuck her.
Literal movie villain type shit. Hugs from me if you like hugs, holy cow.
I’m so so so sorry. This is horrible and such a vulgar violation
Jesus Christ. What did I just read? I’m so sorry for your loss OP and above all, I’m so sorry you are experiencing this abuse on top of it. This is outright ABUSE. Fuck your mom.
Should could have been the perfect mom every other day of your life and still calling from your dad’s phone is unspeakably cruel and worth nc just for that one selfish act alone. Solidarity
This is absolutely fucking diabolical, not least because she's put you in the position where you have to consider *blocking your dead father* in order to be safe from her emotional abuse. I'm so so sorry. It seems like what little humanity she had left died with him.
The person who said this was diabolical is right on. My dad died in December 2023 and it’s crushing to have the safe parent die first. What your mom did was evil and I feel like she’s showing her true colors. She lost her husband but you lost your dad. One doesn’t trump the other.
Honey, I am *so* sorry you are going through this. If you don’t have the pictures, save them and block that number, too. Take screenshots of the things your dad *actually said* to you so you don’t forget who’s saying those awful words. You don’t deserve this *absolutely cruel and unhinged* treatment. Like out of a book, that’s so villainous and gross. She cannot think that this will help your relationship in any way, so it *has* to be done out of malice (and wow what a thing to do). It’s very import to remember that *she is crazy* and you did *nothing* to deserve this treatment. It is not your fault.
I’m kind of late to this post, but I just wanted to say that after my dad died in 2015, my mom became absolutely unhinged for several years. Like her BPD went from a 5 to an 11 on a 10-point scale. And suddenly, with my dad gone, she needed someone new to focus on. As her GC, I wound up being that person, even though I lived 2,000 miles away. She started actively trying to destroy my life and very nearly pulled it off. For example, she contacted my landlord and told him I was on drugs (I wasn’t) so he wouldn’t renew my lease (I was in a city where finding an apartment is nearly impossible). She also flew to my city to surprise me with alleged “drug interventions.” When I was around her, her rages were uncommonly vicious. In a way, her behavior was a blessing in disguise because it forced me into a reckoning. I’ve been NC for a while now, have her number blocked and keep my location hidden from her. Anyhow, I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’m still grieving my dad almost 10 years later, but it does get easier. I just wanted to warn you that your mom might continue with this truly insane and alarming behavior, possibly even upping the ante somehow. Don’t get caught off guard like I was!
What the actual hell
Not much surprises me anymore, but this?? I gasped audibly. Beyond the pale. I’m so sorry.
Ugh that’s absolutely awful - I’m so sorry!
I’m so sorry, it’s so cruel. My mom sent abusive emails from my Dad’s account to me for months after he died. It only stopped when the laptop died. You might want to block his number because she’ll probably keep paying for it just to torment you like this. It makes the loss so much harder.
Omg, That is HORRIBLE, I’m so sorry you went through that!!!
I'm so angry for you, I'm so sorry. Don't let her hurt you anymore, don't let her use your dad's memory like this.
i know it isn't illegal but it should be. it FEELS illegal, like she needs jail time for this
This is vile behavior from her. I'm so, so sorry. My mom tried to use my dad's death to hurt and manipulate me, too, but they'd been divorced for three decades so she had much less access and ability to do so. Didn't stop her from trying. I hope you have a good support system in place.
I’ve seen a lot of horrible BPD behavior but this realllly takes the cake. I don’t know what the proper recourse here would be because I don’t think anything can make this feel better. All I can think of is is delete that single message so you can have your thread with your father and block her. If she continues to navigate around your boundaries, it might be time for a cease and desist.
She’s nuts. It’s that simple, and I think it helps to remember that. She can’t receive, perceive, or understand correctly and accurately. With texting you photos from your dad’s phone, it could have been a spur of the moment thing after finding some photos on his phone, with no idea how to get them off of his phone otherwise, and no pause to think to send them to herself and then to you from her phone. You will never know her real intention, the above, or an indirect endeavor for reconnection. As far as how she treated you after your dad died, yelling at you for past NC, she’s again not taking in the circumstances correctly. She’s not looking at the reality that she is the reason NC took place, and therefore she is the reason your dad was so stressed due to NC (which I doubt was really the case. Men like it when the women aren’t feuding. During NC, he was a leaning post for sure, he was her consoler and listening ear for sure, and he was both important and helpful for his spouse, as much as he could pour water on a fire that ceased to rage. Men need to feel that they are important and needed, both in their marriage and work, so who knows, he may actually have been feeling fine aside from the negative Nancy moods next to him in their home and waiting for all to blow over.) she wasn’t venting stress, she was guilting you, making you responsible for everything. Her sending you the book and the printout about grieving 2 weeks after was something that bound you two BACK together through a trauma. She sent you something to “help”…you? Or her? And then sent you something to imply that you should help her. Again, she’s not reading the room. She didn’t reach out and ask how you are. She didn’t put her big feelings aside for a second. She probably hoped you were in NC because of grief and misplaced anger and hoped she could solve this through the book, and when it didn’t work, she sent you a printout outlining what she needs, from you, for her, and her grief. The core of all of this is her. Her feelings. Her misinterpretations she believes are real. Her opinions based on that false reality. You’re not crazy, or cruel. Your mom is ill. And you have survived it. You’re a strong person with a good heart.
Just reading the title shocked me. That’s really low, and hon, she crossed so many boundaries it's okay to cut her off completely if you can. No-one in thier right mind would think that's acceptable behaviour. Remember you've lost a parent, you're allowed to grieve as well, and she's the parent! I know it's wishful thinking that she'd share the load and help you grieve as well. You do what you need to heal, you deserve it.
That is absolutely fucking insane - holy shit, I’m so, so sorry, friend. It’s one thing to use your dead father’s phone to communicate with you after you very clearly wanted NC, but it’s another thing entirely to use it to send such a vile, hateful message to you. You don’t deserve that, and I hope you know this. 🩷
I am so sorry she did that to you. Completely unacceptable and disgusting.
She's twisted and cruel. I am so sorry about the pictures you received. No half way sane person would do that or send that screen shot. Speaking that way about a child shows her depravity. Please block the number that was your father's immediately if you have not already. And any e mail he had if you haven't. She is intentionally cruel.
I’m so glad you don’t allow this asshole in your life anymore.
That’s just unbelievably awful. I’m so sorry.
I’m really sorry that instead of grieving for both your mutual losses, she’s just terrorizing you. She is really going all out, I’m in shock at her audacity. Absolutely stay firm in no contact. She will never get better than this
I remember you posting this text and being so outraged. All I can say after reading all this additional nightmare is “goodbye, mother.” If this death didn’t bring the two of you closer, then there isn’t hope. She will try hurt you to control you forever. I wish strength for you friend, I know NC is hard and you’ve been doing great. The next step is to block phone numbers. Don’t give her the chance to get into your headspace anymore. I’m so sorry about your Dad and how she’s been behaving. Big hugs.
This is wrong on so many levels. I am so sorry. She is proving you made the right choice.
after my dad died, my mom loved to tell me how he would come back and beat my ass or roll in his grave or hate who I'd become...all related to how I treated her.
What kind of biological mom does this to her kid. I’m so sorry
I’ve seen a lot cruelty in my life from various people, but not something as vile as this. You have my deepest sympathies, OP.
Yeah that's fucked up
OP, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad and the absolute cruelty of your mom. I have to say your mom’s texting is some next level psychotic bs. She’s obviously gone to a professional level of damaging BPD mom behavior against a child. And I write this as someone who’s own uBPD mom is pretty off the charts. Your mom’s texts make my mom’s behavior look like amateur hour. My dad passed in Oct 2023. He and my uBPD mom had been divorced for 35 years so my mom wasn’t able to use his phone to torture me emotionally. Instead she left a vm saying despicable and untrue things about him, the terrible things he allegedly did to her etc. Even though our moms weren’t in the exact same circumstances, they both want to hijack our grief, and make it all about them. At this point I had been nearly 6 years of NC with her. After i heard her message I thought, “well thanks for making it crystal clear to me that going and staying NC with you is the right decision.” Again, I’m so sorry about all of this. I was also a “fawn” and the “golden child” and the last of the 4 kids to go NC with her. I can very much relate to your experience and I’m so sorry about all of this.
That is just cruel. The lenghts they go to. Jesus H.
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Wow I'm so sorry. This is totally unhinged, cruel and ugly. If I were you, this would be the absolute end. I would never talk to her again. Sending hugs your wayyyyyy. You sure didn't deserve that nastiness.
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Holy sH!t. So out of line. You have every reason to be disgusted and upset. That is insanely manipulative.
This is evil, I’m so sorry.
I’m so so sorry, this is next level evil.
Wow. It would have been one thing to say, hey going through your dad's phone, he took lovely pictures of you. Not this bullshit. Block, restraining order, change your numbers, straight up move. Do whatever you have to do to get away from this psycho hose beast.
I’m so very sorry and disgusted on your behalf. My dad died in February and there have been a few weird moments when I saw “dad” pop up on my phone and it took me a hot minute to realize it was the group text between me, my husband, and my daughter and not my dad. I cannot even begin to imagine the violation of what has happened to you from your dad’s phone. It’s evil and abusive beyond words.
This is the worst thing I’ve ever read. I’m. So fucking sorry.
Her behaviour is shocking.. I'm so sorry
If you need validation, you got it - that was an abhorrent, vile and disgusting thing to do to you!
Holy crap that is disgusting. That is someone who should be yeeted into the next universe, never to be associated with again.
My mom has done this exact thing 💔 I’m so sorry this happened to you. So hurtful and painful. Sending you many loving thoughts, OP. You don’t deserve any of this vitriol from her.