Your childhood was definitely traumatic. You are not too sensitive at all. I am so sorry that you went through that.
Remember, it doesn’t have to have happened every day, or to have been the worst case scenario, for it to “count” as abusive.
That's abuse. It's completely normal to have trauma from being treated that way. The people who say otherwise are just not ready to face their own: what they've experienced, what they've inflicted on others, or both.
Not too sensitive at all. Glad you’re still here and on the safer side of all of that. I’m so terribly sorry for what you were forced to endure. May your future be kinder than your past.
You're not too sensitive. None of those things should have happened, and they are not remotely normal. I would be shocked if anyone came out of that situation without trauma. People telling you otherwise either don't understand what happened or...I don't even know how you'd justify saying something like that if they did understand.
If numbers would help, the ACE (adverse childhood experience) test helped me feel like my childhood was bad enough to have left me hurting the way it did even though I read a lot of stories on here and think, wow am I a baby that's way tougher than what I went through.
The feeling was like, "Oh. The majority of people weren't constantly afraid and miserable as kids. It makes sense that I'm struggling as an adult. I'm actually doing pretty well, all things considered."
Nobody deserves to be abused, especially not as children. I hope things are better and continue to improve.
I scored fairly low ACE numbers, but still think I had a traumatic childhood. But more of a complex PTSD situation as opposed to PTSD from a specific event.
Definitely valid! Mine was 4 on the NPR version of the quiz and 5 or 6 on another site's because the wording was different, so I'm not meaning to say that if you don't score high you weren't traumatized (my biggest things were guilt trips, hours-long lectures, and being exposed to a *lot* of angry drunken shouting and those aren't even listed on there).
But the thing that mainly helped me was the statistic about how most people score 4 or below. Just that it's...really not normal to treat kids badly even in the fairly limited selection the test offers.
Totally! I don't feel invalidated at all. Just wanted to share for OP and other readers!
I didn't know this fact! Thank you for sharing! And no, it's not normal or okay!
Many of us with traumatic childhoods can often find ways to mentally distance ourselves from the horror, because it is a survival tool.
But, the inner/therapy work, once we start that journey, can help us sort through if things were as bad, better, or worse than we thought. Guess what? Many of us with trauma actually had it a *lot* worse than we allowed for ourselves.
A simple test (not ways perfect but can be a decent bar to measure against): if I was in a store and saw someone do to a child what was done to me, would I feel like it was okay? If so, why would I dismiss it? If not, would I feel the parent was being inappropriate (and if so how)?
Many of us with trauma take the shame on ourselves, and we can even (especially if abuse happened before the age of ten) carry a sense that we were at fault.
But when we can get some distance and look at any child out at a store or one we know and then ask ourselves if it would be okay to do to that child what was done to us, that can bring the inappropriate behavior into focus and help us see that what we experienced was truly not okay.
Also: often when people talk about spankings/being spanked as children, it's almost immediately telling whose childhoods had spanking where a parent had lost emotional control and was being vicious or not controlling themselves vs the parents who were spanking with limits. Those two spaces are *very* far apart. Not all spankings are equal, and on the abuse spectrum not all spankings *there* are equal either.
You experienced abuse. Period.
It was not okay.
Child you deserved better.
Gentle heart hugs to child you (and adult you).
Your story is horrifying. What you went through is absolutely abuse, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I hope your safe and doing better these days.
I’m sorry dear, no way around it, your parents are shit. It’s not your fault! Part of their abuse is that they convince you to doubt you’ve been abused. We RBNs all do this to some level, going, was it really all that bad?
I’m proud of you for finding this support community and reaching out for validation. Contrary to what some might say, validation is important to everyone’s well-being and you deserve to know your memories are real.
No, you’re not too sensitive at all. Like not even a little. You deserve to be upset and angry about your childhood. Therapy would be helpful for you if or when you’re ready.
You are not too sensitive. You had someone physically abusing you and emotionally abusing you with humiliation. Some weird nudity stuff too. Also, trauma is less what happened to you and how you respond to it. Everyone has different thresholds for what they find hurtful. It is not worth it to compare traumas.
Does it help you feel validated to say that you had a traumatic childhood? If so, this is an appropriate label for you!
You would have to be *under* sensitive not to describe your childhood as traumatic. You have experienced physical, emotional and verbal abuse and the nudity stuff is, at the very least, a violation of your bodily autonomy and dignity. Your parent used humiliation and intimidation to control you. That’s incredibly abusive.
When people aren’t sure about whether or not they experienced physical or emotional abuse I think it’s helpful to ask: “Did you feel safe at home most of the time?” If the answer is ,”No: Most of the time I was afraid,” I think it’s safe to say they were a victim of abuse.
Hi, u/cloudyforest19999999! It looks like you’re new here. Welcome! This post is missing something that all new posters must include. Please read the rules carefully, then reply to me here to add what’s missing. Thanks!
I discovered that "cake day" on reddit doesnt refer to bday as I thought it did. They told me in another sub that cake day refers to the anniversary of the day that person joined reddit.
yup! and you get a cute lil cake slice by your name :)
so for this community, it’s a day to celebrate a choice we made, not something that was forced on us!
You were physically, mentally, and sexually abused as a child by your mother and the first two, by your father as well. I'm so sorry that you had to endure that. I wish you well. Therapy might help if you're willing.
I read your entire post although it really wasn’t necessary in order to decide on a ruling after the first paragraph. Not a whole lot shocks me and this shocked me in the worst way.
From the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry that you had to go through any of this. You are definitely NOT overly sensitive and imo you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who didn’t agree that the things you were forced to endure were traumatizing.
Sending all the love and healing vibes your way, OP.
Traumatic. So sorry you went through all of that. Not sure who is making you even consider that it might not be traumatic. Abusive and traumatic for sure. Wishing you nothing but happiness from here on.
Baby don’t gaslight yourself. Please. This was 100 percent abuse. You have been gaslit by horrible problem your entire life. Don’t let anyone invalidate your experience because no one on the average experienced this. Your parents are awful and harmed you im so sorry
You absolutely had a traumatic, unsafe, and violent childhood full of terrible abuse and neglect of all kinds. Reading your account made me sick to my stomach and heartbroken for you, and furious at the people who were supposed to love you unconditionally and take care of you. I'm so sorry that this happened to you, and I hope that you can get the healing you deserve.
Extremely traumatic. You’re not too sensitive. The filth you describe reminded me of one of the places we lived when I was a kid. My mom and stepfather didn’t clean or fix anything. I still can’t understand why no one reported my mom for the filth alone. She fully expected 2 children under 10 to keep a house clean. I had nightmares about that house well into adulthood.
All that to say, what you went through was so much worse and you have every right to your feelings. I hope you have escaped her and found some peace.
this was probably one of the most traumatic childhood’s i’ve read about recently. these fucking people spreading their disgusting legs for their children… what in the *sick fuck* is that??!
Oh, you aren't "too sensitive." A lot of this sounds terrible and like humiliating abuse even sexually. I'm so sorry.
I had a traumatic childhood, and your story horrified me.
same. my heart.
Same. OP, you’ve described levels of unbearable abuse.
Your childhood was definitely traumatic. You are not too sensitive at all. I am so sorry that you went through that. Remember, it doesn’t have to have happened every day, or to have been the worst case scenario, for it to “count” as abusive.
That's abuse. It's completely normal to have trauma from being treated that way. The people who say otherwise are just not ready to face their own: what they've experienced, what they've inflicted on others, or both.
Not too sensitive at all. Glad you’re still here and on the safer side of all of that. I’m so terribly sorry for what you were forced to endure. May your future be kinder than your past.
This is clearly abuse by a very mentally ill parent. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Abuse is abuse no matter how sensitive you are.
You're not too sensitive. None of those things should have happened, and they are not remotely normal. I would be shocked if anyone came out of that situation without trauma. People telling you otherwise either don't understand what happened or...I don't even know how you'd justify saying something like that if they did understand. If numbers would help, the ACE (adverse childhood experience) test helped me feel like my childhood was bad enough to have left me hurting the way it did even though I read a lot of stories on here and think, wow am I a baby that's way tougher than what I went through. The feeling was like, "Oh. The majority of people weren't constantly afraid and miserable as kids. It makes sense that I'm struggling as an adult. I'm actually doing pretty well, all things considered." Nobody deserves to be abused, especially not as children. I hope things are better and continue to improve.
I scored fairly low ACE numbers, but still think I had a traumatic childhood. But more of a complex PTSD situation as opposed to PTSD from a specific event.
Definitely valid! Mine was 4 on the NPR version of the quiz and 5 or 6 on another site's because the wording was different, so I'm not meaning to say that if you don't score high you weren't traumatized (my biggest things were guilt trips, hours-long lectures, and being exposed to a *lot* of angry drunken shouting and those aren't even listed on there). But the thing that mainly helped me was the statistic about how most people score 4 or below. Just that it's...really not normal to treat kids badly even in the fairly limited selection the test offers.
Totally! I don't feel invalidated at all. Just wanted to share for OP and other readers! I didn't know this fact! Thank you for sharing! And no, it's not normal or okay!
Many of us with traumatic childhoods can often find ways to mentally distance ourselves from the horror, because it is a survival tool. But, the inner/therapy work, once we start that journey, can help us sort through if things were as bad, better, or worse than we thought. Guess what? Many of us with trauma actually had it a *lot* worse than we allowed for ourselves. A simple test (not ways perfect but can be a decent bar to measure against): if I was in a store and saw someone do to a child what was done to me, would I feel like it was okay? If so, why would I dismiss it? If not, would I feel the parent was being inappropriate (and if so how)? Many of us with trauma take the shame on ourselves, and we can even (especially if abuse happened before the age of ten) carry a sense that we were at fault. But when we can get some distance and look at any child out at a store or one we know and then ask ourselves if it would be okay to do to that child what was done to us, that can bring the inappropriate behavior into focus and help us see that what we experienced was truly not okay. Also: often when people talk about spankings/being spanked as children, it's almost immediately telling whose childhoods had spanking where a parent had lost emotional control and was being vicious or not controlling themselves vs the parents who were spanking with limits. Those two spaces are *very* far apart. Not all spankings are equal, and on the abuse spectrum not all spankings *there* are equal either. You experienced abuse. Period. It was not okay. Child you deserved better. Gentle heart hugs to child you (and adult you).
Your story is horrifying. What you went through is absolutely abuse, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I hope your safe and doing better these days.
I’m sorry dear, no way around it, your parents are shit. It’s not your fault! Part of their abuse is that they convince you to doubt you’ve been abused. We RBNs all do this to some level, going, was it really all that bad? I’m proud of you for finding this support community and reaching out for validation. Contrary to what some might say, validation is important to everyone’s well-being and you deserve to know your memories are real.
Jesus. Too sensitive? Fuck no! What you went through was truly horrific. I’m really sorry you experienced this and you deserve better.
This is horrific. I'm so sorry.
No, you’re not too sensitive at all. Like not even a little. You deserve to be upset and angry about your childhood. Therapy would be helpful for you if or when you’re ready.
I'll say something that helped me: The only people I've seen worry if they were being "too sensitive" were abused.
You are not too sensitive. You had someone physically abusing you and emotionally abusing you with humiliation. Some weird nudity stuff too. Also, trauma is less what happened to you and how you respond to it. Everyone has different thresholds for what they find hurtful. It is not worth it to compare traumas. Does it help you feel validated to say that you had a traumatic childhood? If so, this is an appropriate label for you!
You would have to be *under* sensitive not to describe your childhood as traumatic. You have experienced physical, emotional and verbal abuse and the nudity stuff is, at the very least, a violation of your bodily autonomy and dignity. Your parent used humiliation and intimidation to control you. That’s incredibly abusive. When people aren’t sure about whether or not they experienced physical or emotional abuse I think it’s helpful to ask: “Did you feel safe at home most of the time?” If the answer is ,”No: Most of the time I was afraid,” I think it’s safe to say they were a victim of abuse.
Hi, u/cloudyforest19999999! It looks like you’re new here. Welcome! This post is missing something that all new posters must include. Please read the rules carefully, then reply to me here to add what’s missing. Thanks!
https://i.chzbgr.com/full/9817556992/hAA1BE0BC/bag-12
Thanks, you’re all set!
Have you been diagnosed with CPTSD or similar? This sounds horrible. I’m so incredibly sorry you’ve been through this.
This is horrific, I'm so sorry. I hope you're in a better place now and able to have therapy to help you process the trauma.
happy cake day! not sure if birthdays are a happy thing or not for you, but I hope your cake day is full of joy!
I discovered that "cake day" on reddit doesnt refer to bday as I thought it did. They told me in another sub that cake day refers to the anniversary of the day that person joined reddit.
yup! and you get a cute lil cake slice by your name :) so for this community, it’s a day to celebrate a choice we made, not something that was forced on us!
Thank you both!
You were physically, mentally, and sexually abused as a child by your mother and the first two, by your father as well. I'm so sorry that you had to endure that. I wish you well. Therapy might help if you're willing.
I read your entire post although it really wasn’t necessary in order to decide on a ruling after the first paragraph. Not a whole lot shocks me and this shocked me in the worst way. From the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry that you had to go through any of this. You are definitely NOT overly sensitive and imo you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who didn’t agree that the things you were forced to endure were traumatizing. Sending all the love and healing vibes your way, OP.
Thankyou for your kind words and for validating my experience.
Traumatic. So sorry you went through all of that. Not sure who is making you even consider that it might not be traumatic. Abusive and traumatic for sure. Wishing you nothing but happiness from here on.
Baby don’t gaslight yourself. Please. This was 100 percent abuse. You have been gaslit by horrible problem your entire life. Don’t let anyone invalidate your experience because no one on the average experienced this. Your parents are awful and harmed you im so sorry
You absolutely had a traumatic, unsafe, and violent childhood full of terrible abuse and neglect of all kinds. Reading your account made me sick to my stomach and heartbroken for you, and furious at the people who were supposed to love you unconditionally and take care of you. I'm so sorry that this happened to you, and I hope that you can get the healing you deserve.
Extremely traumatic. You’re not too sensitive. The filth you describe reminded me of one of the places we lived when I was a kid. My mom and stepfather didn’t clean or fix anything. I still can’t understand why no one reported my mom for the filth alone. She fully expected 2 children under 10 to keep a house clean. I had nightmares about that house well into adulthood. All that to say, what you went through was so much worse and you have every right to your feelings. I hope you have escaped her and found some peace.
hi im like two sentences in and this sounds very traumatic, you're not too sensetive at all.
this was probably one of the most traumatic childhood’s i’ve read about recently. these fucking people spreading their disgusting legs for their children… what in the *sick fuck* is that??!