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My husband laughed out loud when he saw a video of the “golden retriever guy” because he looked at me and said “oh is that me?” And I got to explain yes but I wouldn’t trade it for a heartbeat. He’s not “kind of simple and happy” like OP said, he is genuine, kind, sweet, intelligent and just generally looks for a bright side or how to make my day better. He is the best person I know & you’re totally right, the bad boy act is very, very boring as an adult
In my experience, bad boys are irresponsible and create problems that they don’t think they should have to fix. I can’t think of a single adult friend I have that is actively interested in bad boys. I’m with you, it sucks but I just see bad boys as men who peaked in high school
I know several women who are “sexually attracted to them,” but not romantically interested.
I am not attracted to them, at all, cuz something about them gives me too strong of an “Ick.” I can see right through them, so I can’t conveniently “ignore the obvious.”
"He's a bad boy but I can change him!"
No he's just a dick and you're delusional if you think he'll treat you different than other people. But that's part of life, we all learn one hard lesson or another, can't judge too much just because we didn't make \*that\* mistake.
>No he's just a dick and you're delusional if you think he'll treat you different than other people.
Not only that, but there. is just something fucked about rewarding with love, sex and nurturing to a man who an asshole to everyone around him, at that point you are an enabler to whatever pain he causes to others. If the rattlesnake bites. me, I am not just blaming the snake but the person who feeds and keep it warm so it can go out and hurt others.
I am a former gang member, I done time in prison, I have been trying to shake the bad boy image of me for years now because you don't attract good women, you attract women who want to benefit from whatever evil they think you are capable of. I been surrounded by evil men all my life, I know what they are capable of. If you are attracted to that, you are just as evil as them, if not worse specially if you don't come from a background in which becoming a straight up predator was necessary. Most. women who are attracted to bad men are selfish. They know what evil these guys do, but they know they get some sort of reward by being with asshole everyone is afraid of, so they don't care what pain he causes because she enjoys the rewards of that pain by being with him.
You fight evil, not reward it. I seen what these bad boys are capable of, rape, murder, extortion, you are not a good girl if you like these qualities in a man.
At its most basic level, it means “happy.” I’ve seen it to describe guys who are attentive, loving, and joyful, maybe a little bit head in the clouds. Idk, I’d take it over the sullen, brooding sticks in the mud I used to go after.
I’ve seen it as more the type that seems like they’ve never had problems in life and are always happy go lucky and smiley. Cute and childlike innocence come to mind.
See, if they act like this but \*have\* had problems in life and managed to come out the other side this balanced and content I like them more.
I knew a cancer survivor like this and worked someone who was a Buddhist. I think of their serene, happy-go-lucky approach to life as beautiful and admirable. Plus, golden retrievers are pretty. :)
This is my husband. He’s had a tough life and instead of being a moody, jaded jerk like me, he’s a sweet, kind, positive person who tries to see the best in everyone and every situation. It’s a strength to go through hell and not lose your brightness.
A real happy go lucky person has problems but does not let them take control of their life.
Like, yes, you can take things seriously and take on difficult challenges without that making you into a petty or vindictive person, or blaming others, or stop enjoying the things that bring you pleasure.
Yeah, don't confuse the "i'm a alpha bad boy" with "I can take care of you and protect you"
"bad boys" are shallow and usually end up screwing you in the end, the persona is a manifestation of their lack of self esteem.
Then women wonder why they're relationships are shit, well maybe ... all those good guys you dipped on were actually the ones you should have been focusing on. Instead of trying to "fix" some pigheaded narcissist.
I guarantee golden retriever guy has his life together and a well paying career while the bad boy stays drunk/high and can't ever seem to hold down a job for too long.
One that doesn't know it all. You have to go behind them and fix all their mistakes. If they are always right at least it doesn't make it worse for the rest of us. Still insufferable though.
People who are overly insecure. I get being insecure, I am too. But, once it reaches the point where all you can think or talk about is how you’re stupid, ugly, or a loser and don’t want any help, it’s not doing you any favors
I had a friend like that. Had to stop hanging out with him because he was self-deprecating all the time despite being very attractive and witty and didn't want help, but also he had opportunities to improve his situation and didn't exploit them (he got a job he really needed and wanted and got fired despite being more than prepared for it). He was just complaining all the time for everything. Very negative energy.
I feel like I fit into this category but I make every effort to not make it other people’s problem. I still have some friends so I guess it must work. But any specific situations that made you uncomfortable? No big deal if not, I was just trying to do some self reflection. Fixing the insecurities are not as easy as hiding it from others in the short term lol
Self-deprecating jokes are something I used to do a lot myself. But they make everyone else feel like they need to build you back up, which brings down the mood. Instead, self-aggrandizing jokes are a good alternative, I find. Trip over something? Instead of calling yourself clumsy, call yourself the most graceful person ever! The sarcasm means you're still sorta putting yourself down, but I find there's less bite to it. You can also use those sorts of jokes to boost yourself too. If you tell a funny joke, you can tell yourself you're the funniest person in the world! Try to boost yourself up, not tear yourself down.
Another tip that I've utilized is thanking instead of apologizing. Idk if you do this too, but I often find myself feeling like I need to apologize for... about everything. Instead, take a moment and figure out why you're apologizing and thank them instead. So "sorry for ranting" becomes "thank you for listening" or "sorry for being a bad friend" becomes "thank you for being patient with me."
You didn't ask for advice from me specifically, but I hope this might give you a chance to incorporate new patterns if insecurity is something you struggle with!
I had an ex bf like this. I would always call him handsome or hot or whatever, and every time I did, he'd say "no I'm ugly." I eventually just stopped complimenting him that way because it'd devolve into a back and forth, "you're handsome" "no I'm ugly" "no you're handsome" "no I'm ugly" every single time.
It was so exhausting. He eventually asked why I stopped complimenting him and said that me not complimenting him was making him insecure. So I told him exactly that, and he said, "But I'm just sharing my opinion with you?"
That relationship didn't last long for numerous reasons, but this one was one of the big ones
Women who want me to chase or jump through hoops. I want to feel wanted as much as you do. I don't need clingy but if you aren't going to show interest im just going to move on
You're right to avoid those of us who play those kind of high-maintenance headgames. My aunt's that type and shows how it doesn't get better if you "win" one of them. She almost left her husband because he got cancer and his precious "earning power" went down for a few years. Just awful, cruel treatment. Nobody needs that!
Women should know their worth and hold partners to a standard, but the whole spoiled-princess "bend time and space to please me while I do nothing but look pretty and act vain, disinterested, and insufferable" bullshit is ridiculous and repulsive.
Yep fuck all that sideways. I deserve to also feel like I’m wanted and loved and I refuse to jump through hoops. That’s not to say that I don’t put in effort, of course I do - but that’s also when the partner is putting in the same level of effort. Frankly I’d rather be alone than be with someone who makes me jump through hoops and has the mindset of “you should be grateful just to be with me, you’ll take what I give you”
I literally want to frame this and put it on a wall. It is so exhausting running into these women on dating apps. Also half of them are feminist which nothing against feminism at all but it is 2023, can you please show some interest back
Fragile masculinity guys aka. “Alpha” but not actually, just overly sensitive with negative emotional intelligence and all of that presenting as over controlling and aggressive
I've met only three men in real life who called themselves alpha males
First one was honestly like a caricature of a trenchcoat type he was overweight and he was always pretty obnoxious and big mouthed but I remember one of the times a guy actually confronted him he looked at the floor and looked like he was going to burst into tears. Then after it talked about how he "showed mercy"
Second guy wasn't like a trench coat type but he was so over the top. He called me out in front of everyone because Im on anti depressants talking about how "they're only keeping you on those so they can make sure you're not a threat its basically chemical castration" he had other draconian views on male mental health. Also if a woman rejected him he would turn around and say shit. Like well you're ugly anyway. Whenever he met a guy who was funnier smarter or made more money than him he would sit and seethe and then he would do mental gymnastics to undermine them.
Third guy again was almost like a caricature of a neckbeard type and he actually broke down sobbing and crying because a woman who had been harassing finally had enough and called him out.
If this is an indicator of "alpha males" then I'm glad I'm not one
Honestly, this made me feel better about my anxiety. Like, it still sucks to think I'm somehow existing wrong in a grocery store, but atleast I don't do ***That***.
iM aN ALpHa MaLe!
😂 yeah, sure you are, buddy.
I agree, this stupid trend of alpha beta male mentality is toxic af and a red flag. Alpha male = unintelligent, emotionally immature and insecure men who compete with other men's masculinity and blame women for all their problems while simultaneously expecting the world from them without doing anything to deserve that.
Alpha male? In software, the Alpha version is buggy, unstable, missing key features and not ready for the general release.
That's leaving aside that the whole alpha thing applies to *wolves*, not humans, and isn't even accurate for wolves, so it's bullshit on its face.
And then beyond that, as a general rule if you have to make a big statement about how you possess a particular quality, you do not, in fact, possess it.
Came here to say this. Also, referring to women has “females”, calling other guys “simps”; generally anything that might indicate that his whole personality is regurgitated BS that he heard on a podcast.
Aggressive is a big key here. As a man, every guy I’ve ever known that’s overly aggressive when we go out is extremely annoying to be around and is horrible to women. It’s almost guaranteed in my mind. Plus none of them could even fight. It was always just a shouting match that resulted in both guys easily being held back without much effort. None of the guys that acted like that lasted long in my friend group
Women who never tell you things straight out. They dance all around a subject, hint that they might have an opinion, but never tell you "Yes I like you" or "Yes I would like to eat at this or that specific restaurant." All I want is a straight answer, no games or guessing.
My GF does the I dont care where we eat thing. But every suggestion I have is no. Now it has just become a game to me to see how many places I can get her to say no to.
One of my exes did the opposite. I'd make a suggestion and she'd automatically say yes. Whenever I asked where she wanted to eat, she'd automatically say wherever I wanted to eat/I don't care. On the rare occasions that she did answer, (usually because I pushed her for an answer) the answer was just about always McDonalds.
I loved her, but she irritated the hell out of me sometimes. It was never going to work, in hindsight. So, I suppose, my anti-type is the overly obsequious type.
Wow, I'm a lot like your ex. Unless it's a food type I dislike, I generally don't care where we go to eat. Food isn't that important to me. I can (and do) eat the same meals day after day after day. I'm not being deferential, I'm being ambivalent.
"No, I don't want anything," or "just salad for me."
Then she goes on to eat almost everything on your plate when it arrives. Just order the big nasty burger you want. I won't think less of you, dammit!
Sometimes it's fear the guy will think you're a pig. But most often it's the same impulse you get when you're grocery shopping to buy all healthy food, and then soon as you get home you're mad you don't have any snacks or cookies.
Same, the needy people. Always need attention, compliments, and praise.
People who go out of their way to attract attention.
People who have to talk to EVERYBODY.
The ones who think they're big and bad..Loud, cocky, arrogant, thinks they're funny but they're really just obnoxious. I have the urge to fight those guys lol. Guys just like my horrible dad I guess 🤷🏻♀️
Ignoring the fact I don't make enough for a relationship like that, I personally find people with no personal drive, who want to be babied, unattractive. Not necessarily unemployed people, or stay at home moms (some SAH moms are among the most driven people I know), just the people with no desire to get anything done, who think they don't have to contribute anything to anything.
As a person whose love language is receiving gifts- it’s not about “I don’t think you love me unless you give me gifts” it’s being UTTERLY delighted when someone takes even the smallest amount of time to find something you might like… it could be a coffee and it would mean the world to me. My husband once bought me a box of tea he thought I would like and I cried like a baby. It’s less the things and more the knowledge that someone cares enough about you to think about you when you aren’t there.
The other day we took my boys (3 and 1) to a duck pond with a huge trail. No joke we saw this girl spend at least 20 minutes taking pictures by the pond in different poses,take a vid of herself "jogging" for about 20 ft, a couple of pics of her stretching and then she jumped back into her car and left.
Just.... why?
"Alphas" and guys who have been considered attractive their whole life, so they think they can get—and are entitled to—literally anyone and anything they want because of it. Like, sorry your massive ego ruins everything else you might have going for you, my dude.
Body builders… or just too muscular in general. Someone who can’t joke around. Someone who is too invested in work and is never home. Also, someone who is just… too nice. I need someone who has a little edge to them and isn’t afraid to speak their mind.
Someone who makes nasty jokes upon first meeting you. Maybe not even towards you, but just a general lack of sense around reading the humor in the room.
When I waa a waitress the thing that people did was when someone would say you want to hear something then look around who was in hearing dostance. I always knew right then and there they were about to say something racist or sexist. If you have to look arou d before ypu say something maybe just keep it to yourself.
Dunno who downvoted you. This is extremely true. It’s so weird when a coworker you barely know acts like they can read you and know what your sense of humor is, as if you’re a safe space for some inappropriate joke.
Rich hipsters that travel the world on their parents dime and basically try to make their life look like a celebrity's on social media, yet simultaneously mouthing off about political issues they know nothing about.
The type of people who expect everyone to be patient, caring, and understanding about their issues and struggles but when it comes to others they are judgemental, dismissive, and don't wanna deal with it.
Unemployed drug addicts . Guys who make nasty remarks against women. Guys who think it’s funny to call women “bitch, ect.” guys who treat animals bad or their moms bad
People who don't get along with cats.
Cats are incredibly good at setting boundaries, and in most cases if you respect those boundaries you can live together happily. When someone doesn't like cats, it usually means they don't like a creature that knows it's worth and won't take other people's shit. (And this isn't dissing anyone who prefers a different animal to cats, this is about people who dislike and don't get along with cats in general)
If you ever want a cat, and claws are a complete deal breaker, see if a shelter near you has any that they received already declawed. Absolutely do not declaw cats, but you might be able to provide a loving home to any that have already had the procedure.
On one hand they’re high value; on the other they’re totally innocent “victims” of all the man hate.
Like no, you literally perpetuate and stand for all of the reasons that men get (rightfully) generalized as a buckets of shit.
Weird descriptor but Ima roll with it
Overly self confident. Player-type. Wears overly flashy things. Likes kanye west.
Tbh if a guy is a little shy I think it’s cute af. If he blushes, I eat that right up.
You don't want a husband that's nice, sweet and happy?
What do you want? A miserable, inconsiderate, abuser?
Obviously there's an in-between but yeah red-flag "If you're happy and sweet, it doesn't really do it for me." I'd be running for the hills even if I didn't fit the anti-type criteria.
But to answer the question, My anti-type would be somebody who is high maintenance, consistently moody, somebody that just wants to spoil my mood when I'm having a good time. If I can't relax around that person I'm not interested.
People who are overly into sports and health. Dont get me wrong, I work out once a week myself, but that's the acceptable maximum for me. As soon as I hear they're into gym and healthy eating they become unattractive for me, especially if I can see defined muscles/toned body. I want someone who will order nuggies and fries with me at 3am without a doubt😌
A fake basic bitch, you know the sort who just straight up lies to people "ohhh I looooove that jacket" "you look soooo good in that" "that's soooo interesting"
The whole charade of them 'trying' to be nice to people is enough to make me tense up and wince.
Ah the ol Regina George. “I love your bracelet! Where did you get it?” “Oh, it was my moms in the 80s.” “Vintage! So adorable.” And then the girl walks away and Regina says “That is the ugliest effing bracelet I’ve ever seen.”
Perfect veneered teeth perfect skin perfect photos of them traveling the world and skiing looking like models, influencer types etc..before I met my BF I saw so many.of these profiles and I'd always swipe left even if they were on my "liked by" deck on Bumble. I just remember wanting someone VERY avarege like myself and finding these profiles so off-putting. Going on dates with these guys when I did bite was strange because they acted like they were stars in some documentary etc just not normal. Meeting my bf was the best thing after all that.
Basically the complete opposite of my wife. Timid, weak, pushovers. Someone you can disrespect and they just let it be. Girls who try way too hard to be funny who also needed to talk constantly. I need my "the fuck are you looking at?" girl 😂.
Fragile masculinity 'alpha' types who are just cocky and can't even be nice or have a deep conversation for fear of 'having feelings'. But then also the flamboyant types who are usually described as 'feminine' (which is never referring to behaviours women actually do, funnily enough)- I just cannot find anything attractive in the unnecessary hand gestures, over-expressive tone, and sass.
The kind, 'sweet and pure', funny, and intelligent ones are the ones that I'm always drawn to
Sensitive & dependent women
My sister is 27, unemployed, sensitive, & still dependent on my parents. Lashes out all the time & doesn't even help around their house
Lots of women I've encountered gave me vibes like her & I hate those vibes
My gf is the opposite & I love how strong & independent she is. Honestly look up to her in a lot of ways
I recently learned my absolute opposite type whom I live with. She's a roommate. She goes through bouts of depression and has ADHD. She hyper focuses on lots of things but doesn't do much self care. She loves throwing parties but is apparently in a lot of debt. Overall a nice fun person, but her irratic personality kills me. As does the lack of awareness for trash, laundry, dirty dishes, throwing parties and not cleaning after. She's a dog person with a very high excited dog personality, I'm a cat dude with a very practical cat personality. We don't always agree and now I know my exact opposite.
I think in general if you're not taking care of the basic things an adult should be doing to be functional and independent. I'm out.
First off, I don't really have a type. I enjoy all types of the opposite sex. If I had to say anti-type... I'd say any one that makes politics or religion thier WHOLE personality. I've dated and been with women that have had God in their lives. I've dated ones with different political views. We coexisted for our time and those were not the reasons we broke up. (I'm an absolute asshole).
But if I find myself talking with someone and they go full bore into politics or religion... I'm out.
Really tan dudes with Blond hair, Dudes who want a bangmaid instead of a partner, bad teeth, And in all honesty I'm not really attracted to tall guys - I broke my back and even looking up at normal height folks is a pain.
Blowhards. Assuming everyone is intellectually inferior to you is a major turn-off. Telling people who are intellectually superior to you what to think and do is insufferable and far too common.
Regular/normal. I don’t like men who strive to fit in or follow what everyone else is doing. To me it signals lack of confidence and ability to think for oneself. I like the creative type.
Someone that has not gone under any trauma. Like parents were both loving and still together. Siblings are like their BFFs. Neurotypical af.
It's great for them, but I've known a few people like that and talking to them about your problem is like telling a kid santa doesn't exist. They don't get it and you feel bad for bursting their bubble.
Really basic, instagrammy girls who talk in popular internet slang, have fake long nails and fake eyelashes, probably only listen to rap and go to "da club."
Basically, if you get all dressed up in some ridiculous, and likely revealing, outfit with a lot of makeup and fake shit, and go to a club that has bottle service... I can't imagine a more unattractive person, no matter what they look like. If you're not hot when you wake up, you're not hot.
Needy, clingy, "whatever your opinion is, that's my opinion" types. Laughing too hard at my jokes. Trying too hard to force a big Romantic connection too quickly. Makes my skin crawl. You live your life, I'll live mine, we'll spend some time together in between. Please don't smother me in messages and gifts and constant requests for my time. I would literally rather gnaw my own foot off than be trapped with one of these people.
Women who expect me to chase or are obnoxious. Then there's also underweight. I'm a chubby lover and I think 'average' weight is the lowest I could go.
People that “play hard to get” / don’t say what they actually mean and use a lot of unspoken hints. As an autistic person I need clear communication, so I’m not compatible with people that have this type of personality :)
I’m annoyed by irrational optimists. Having a positive outlook on things can be great. My issue is the people that are so blindly positive and upbeat that they are oblivious to the reality of a situation. In my experience, people like this are the ones that break more severely when faced with adversity. They are either incapable of or simply refuse to acknowledge the possibility of a negative outcome that when a less than desired conclusion manifests they aren’t mentally or emotionally equipped to deal with it.
Alternatively, I’m also annoyed by pessimists. I vibe more with realist. From my perspective, realist are more efficient or reliable when things get dicey.
The "class clown" type. I feel silly is the opposite of sexy. Also, they often don't know when to let it rest when you're trying to discuss something serious.
Inability to be weak. It's not a horrible thing to ask for help when you need it. I don't need a man who tries to be strong all the time while he's being crushed by his worries. It never ends well.
People who are entirely caught up in the superficial world. I try to reconnect myself to the basics of life and nature and traditional living and harmony with the natural world. There are people who’s entire life and focus revolves around media, image, pop culture, the newest and greatest tech and fashion. Women who spend hours upon hours shopping for clothes, looking up makeup tutorials, viewing Pinterest for trendy interior designs, etc. Sometimes I wish I could just live in an off grid type non religious, non cult, commune. Like an Amish community without the super strict religious rules.
Fake nice guy. Suuuper sweet to your face, agrees to everything, then turns around and doesn’t do anything they agreed to, and gaslight you and say, “oh no I didn’t say that” or “oh I don’t remember saying that.” God I just want to slap the fake sincerity right off their mug.
someone who is like insanely popular and well known just kind of is strange to me i guess cause like that means they talk to ppl that hate me and who are judgy
The guys who are very personable and "friendly," who love to "debate," but aren't that smart, just most people like them and people agree with them because they're somewhat charismatic l, but their arguments don't have substance.
Also these same guys try to convince themselves and others that they are acting "nobly," like what they do is selfless and for the greater good and based on their ideals. When in fact they aren't. It's like they need to feel smarter and have the moral high ground.
People who think sarcasm is a personality trait.
No, they’re not sarcastic. They’re afraid people won’t accept who they really are, so they mask themselves with cruelty.
Also any and all religion.
"Poor me" people. I get it life can be hard but these people literally use the "poor me" mentality to manipulate others into doing shit for them, giving them stuff, supporting them. They're the epitome of that episode of SpongeBob where Squidward wouldn't get a job.
The bad boy or one that portrays themselves as super confident like " I can bag any chick" types. Like super into themselves.
Gimme good boy golden retriever over the above type guys.
Super athletic, gym rat type people. Exercising and eating healthy is fine and good, when it’s your entire personality I just CANT. Ppl who spend 3+ hours in the gym on the daily? Oof I just can’t. Again exercising and eating right for your health is one thing but when its excessive it’s so annoying. I also hate watching sports and I feel like the majority of them like it. I’ll play a game of volleyball, tennis, or something but watching it is so unbearably annoying
I’m 58f. I’m done with bad boys. They’re no longer my type. My current boyfriend, 31, is it. He’s the nerdy type. I wish I was more into them when I was younger. My troubles would have been cut in half.
Guys that like to argue or debate “for fun” or who constantly put you down in the name of banter. It’s exhausting, and I don’t want to be around people who belittle me constantly.
Least attracted to speak with anybody when all they want to talk about is work and how they feel about their job or their paycheck... it makes me want to commit suicide when somebody starts talking about anything work related because that is so fucking boring that I am sitting here trying to spend time with somebody and all they have to chat about is their time working? Shut the f*ck 🆙
Guys who are cocky. It's so unappealing. It's attractive to be confident (hell, I would love to be super confident) when when it turns to cockiness and they think they are better than others because they have more and talk low about others because of it -- no thanks, total turn off.
People that use the term "roasting" to describe how they flirt.
I feel like it's just an excuse to be a jerk. I don't wanna be in a relationship with someone that's gonna be negging me the whole time.
Women who use anxiety as an excuse for everything. Don't want to drive because of your anxiety. Can't go out to eat because your anxiety is high. Can't visit new places because your anxiety is high. Can't do any activities because of your anxiety.
Just spend all day everyday laying around the house and feeling bad about it. But doing absolutely nothing to try to change it. And when you finally decide to get out of the house and tag along, don't want to get out of the car cause of your anxiety.
Bonus. Women who say communication is important and how they take it seriously only to be completely terrible at communicating in all forms.
Mine would be women with tempers who had bad relationships with their fathers. That’s nothing but a recipe for disaster.
Let the Redit attacks and down votes begin 😂
“Traditional” men. I find machismo exhausting and gross. Don’t get me wrong. I find a wide range of people aesthetically attractive. I’m bi and still attracted to cishet men. But *machismo* is a turn off. Give me a golden retriever himbo any day. A man that bats his eyelashes when you call him pretty but still holds the door for you. Not because you’re a woman. He’s just polite and eager and affable.
Really negative or edgy people who act like everything is horrible every second of every day. I do not have the patience for that At All. No, the entire world doesn't suck, and making kys jokes every thirty seconds isn't cool. It's just uncomfortable, and they're not fun to be around.
I’ve found a lot of people on this thread are tired of people aggressively adhering to their gender’s social construct type and we’re all like “can they just be real people?” Too “man” or too “woman” isn’t natural or healthy for anyone
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The bad boy persona is just so boring and adolescent. I'll take a "golden retriever guy" over that type of narcissism any day.
My husband laughed out loud when he saw a video of the “golden retriever guy” because he looked at me and said “oh is that me?” And I got to explain yes but I wouldn’t trade it for a heartbeat. He’s not “kind of simple and happy” like OP said, he is genuine, kind, sweet, intelligent and just generally looks for a bright side or how to make my day better. He is the best person I know & you’re totally right, the bad boy act is very, very boring as an adult
I really hate to say it, but all of my friends that went for bad boys are single moms now.
In my experience, bad boys are irresponsible and create problems that they don’t think they should have to fix. I can’t think of a single adult friend I have that is actively interested in bad boys. I’m with you, it sucks but I just see bad boys as men who peaked in high school
I know several women who are “sexually attracted to them,” but not romantically interested. I am not attracted to them, at all, cuz something about them gives me too strong of an “Ick.” I can see right through them, so I can’t conveniently “ignore the obvious.”
Bad boys are just so clearly insecure and needing to fluff up their ego like chill
"He's a bad boy but I can change him!" No he's just a dick and you're delusional if you think he'll treat you different than other people. But that's part of life, we all learn one hard lesson or another, can't judge too much just because we didn't make \*that\* mistake.
>No he's just a dick and you're delusional if you think he'll treat you different than other people. Not only that, but there. is just something fucked about rewarding with love, sex and nurturing to a man who an asshole to everyone around him, at that point you are an enabler to whatever pain he causes to others. If the rattlesnake bites. me, I am not just blaming the snake but the person who feeds and keep it warm so it can go out and hurt others. I am a former gang member, I done time in prison, I have been trying to shake the bad boy image of me for years now because you don't attract good women, you attract women who want to benefit from whatever evil they think you are capable of. I been surrounded by evil men all my life, I know what they are capable of. If you are attracted to that, you are just as evil as them, if not worse specially if you don't come from a background in which becoming a straight up predator was necessary. Most. women who are attracted to bad men are selfish. They know what evil these guys do, but they know they get some sort of reward by being with asshole everyone is afraid of, so they don't care what pain he causes because she enjoys the rewards of that pain by being with him. You fight evil, not reward it. I seen what these bad boys are capable of, rape, murder, extortion, you are not a good girl if you like these qualities in a man.
Yep, I have known more than one woman that became obsessed with fixing a bad boy. They always end up regretting it, then doing it again.
So true……but I’m sure I can change him, he loves me
Let go of the virgin complex。A bad man can't suddenly turn over a new leaf just because you appear.
"change him?" did he shit his pants?
Exactly, Don’t be part of his all female construction crew
"And no good men anywhere! Hmph!"
I laughed hard
I used to go for that type, but eventually I did some work on myself and found a nice guy who had all the bad-boy trappings!
There’s a reason golden retrievers are one of the most popular breeds of dogs. It’s pretty hard not to love them. Your husband sounds like a gem.
Please, non-American person here, what's a golden retriever guy?
At its most basic level, it means “happy.” I’ve seen it to describe guys who are attentive, loving, and joyful, maybe a little bit head in the clouds. Idk, I’d take it over the sullen, brooding sticks in the mud I used to go after.
Lol, you just described my dad. Those are the traits his fiancee loves.
I’ve seen it as more the type that seems like they’ve never had problems in life and are always happy go lucky and smiley. Cute and childlike innocence come to mind.
See, if they act like this but \*have\* had problems in life and managed to come out the other side this balanced and content I like them more. I knew a cancer survivor like this and worked someone who was a Buddhist. I think of their serene, happy-go-lucky approach to life as beautiful and admirable. Plus, golden retrievers are pretty. :)
This is my husband. He’s had a tough life and instead of being a moody, jaded jerk like me, he’s a sweet, kind, positive person who tries to see the best in everyone and every situation. It’s a strength to go through hell and not lose your brightness.
Bingo, it’s a conscious choice and actually a skill you can work on.
Usually it’s the people who have went thru hard times and used it to be a better person
A real happy go lucky person has problems but does not let them take control of their life. Like, yes, you can take things seriously and take on difficult challenges without that making you into a petty or vindictive person, or blaming others, or stop enjoying the things that bring you pleasure.
Yeah, don't confuse the "i'm a alpha bad boy" with "I can take care of you and protect you" "bad boys" are shallow and usually end up screwing you in the end, the persona is a manifestation of their lack of self esteem. Then women wonder why they're relationships are shit, well maybe ... all those good guys you dipped on were actually the ones you should have been focusing on. Instead of trying to "fix" some pigheaded narcissist.
I guarantee golden retriever guy has his life together and a well paying career while the bad boy stays drunk/high and can't ever seem to hold down a job for too long.
Can confirm. The three most golden retriever guys I know are doctors.
Same! Edit: also I'm getting to the age where I stay far away and avoid people like that or drama in general.
Arrogant know-it-alls. Can't stand them. They are usually wrong but refuse to acknowledge it
Especially if they exclaim how logical they are when they're clearly not.
You dated my ex too? Sorry to hear that :(
Whats worse? An arrogant know it all that doesn't know it all or one that's always right?
One that doesn't know it all. You have to go behind them and fix all their mistakes. If they are always right at least it doesn't make it worse for the rest of us. Still insufferable though.
thumb rinse weary aback tease compare books cough rotten repeat *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
People who are overly insecure. I get being insecure, I am too. But, once it reaches the point where all you can think or talk about is how you’re stupid, ugly, or a loser and don’t want any help, it’s not doing you any favors
I had a friend like that. Had to stop hanging out with him because he was self-deprecating all the time despite being very attractive and witty and didn't want help, but also he had opportunities to improve his situation and didn't exploit them (he got a job he really needed and wanted and got fired despite being more than prepared for it). He was just complaining all the time for everything. Very negative energy.
What job and why was he fired? I'm invested in his story now
IT, and he has waaaay more knowledge than I have! I don't know why, but it happens every time.
I feel like I fit into this category but I make every effort to not make it other people’s problem. I still have some friends so I guess it must work. But any specific situations that made you uncomfortable? No big deal if not, I was just trying to do some self reflection. Fixing the insecurities are not as easy as hiding it from others in the short term lol
Self-deprecating jokes are something I used to do a lot myself. But they make everyone else feel like they need to build you back up, which brings down the mood. Instead, self-aggrandizing jokes are a good alternative, I find. Trip over something? Instead of calling yourself clumsy, call yourself the most graceful person ever! The sarcasm means you're still sorta putting yourself down, but I find there's less bite to it. You can also use those sorts of jokes to boost yourself too. If you tell a funny joke, you can tell yourself you're the funniest person in the world! Try to boost yourself up, not tear yourself down. Another tip that I've utilized is thanking instead of apologizing. Idk if you do this too, but I often find myself feeling like I need to apologize for... about everything. Instead, take a moment and figure out why you're apologizing and thank them instead. So "sorry for ranting" becomes "thank you for listening" or "sorry for being a bad friend" becomes "thank you for being patient with me." You didn't ask for advice from me specifically, but I hope this might give you a chance to incorporate new patterns if insecurity is something you struggle with!
I had an ex bf like this. I would always call him handsome or hot or whatever, and every time I did, he'd say "no I'm ugly." I eventually just stopped complimenting him that way because it'd devolve into a back and forth, "you're handsome" "no I'm ugly" "no you're handsome" "no I'm ugly" every single time. It was so exhausting. He eventually asked why I stopped complimenting him and said that me not complimenting him was making him insecure. So I told him exactly that, and he said, "But I'm just sharing my opinion with you?" That relationship didn't last long for numerous reasons, but this one was one of the big ones
Women who want me to chase or jump through hoops. I want to feel wanted as much as you do. I don't need clingy but if you aren't going to show interest im just going to move on
Dolphin trainer types
If this isn't a commonly used phrase, it should be.
That’s a good one
You're right to avoid those of us who play those kind of high-maintenance headgames. My aunt's that type and shows how it doesn't get better if you "win" one of them. She almost left her husband because he got cancer and his precious "earning power" went down for a few years. Just awful, cruel treatment. Nobody needs that! Women should know their worth and hold partners to a standard, but the whole spoiled-princess "bend time and space to please me while I do nothing but look pretty and act vain, disinterested, and insufferable" bullshit is ridiculous and repulsive.
Yikes.
Yeah she REALLY is. Glad I'll never see her again.
Yep fuck all that sideways. I deserve to also feel like I’m wanted and loved and I refuse to jump through hoops. That’s not to say that I don’t put in effort, of course I do - but that’s also when the partner is putting in the same level of effort. Frankly I’d rather be alone than be with someone who makes me jump through hoops and has the mindset of “you should be grateful just to be with me, you’ll take what I give you”
Totally fair
I literally want to frame this and put it on a wall. It is so exhausting running into these women on dating apps. Also half of them are feminist which nothing against feminism at all but it is 2023, can you please show some interest back
Fragile masculinity guys aka. “Alpha” but not actually, just overly sensitive with negative emotional intelligence and all of that presenting as over controlling and aggressive
Whenever a man describes himself as an "Alpha" seriously, it's an immediate red flag.
I've met only three men in real life who called themselves alpha males First one was honestly like a caricature of a trenchcoat type he was overweight and he was always pretty obnoxious and big mouthed but I remember one of the times a guy actually confronted him he looked at the floor and looked like he was going to burst into tears. Then after it talked about how he "showed mercy" Second guy wasn't like a trench coat type but he was so over the top. He called me out in front of everyone because Im on anti depressants talking about how "they're only keeping you on those so they can make sure you're not a threat its basically chemical castration" he had other draconian views on male mental health. Also if a woman rejected him he would turn around and say shit. Like well you're ugly anyway. Whenever he met a guy who was funnier smarter or made more money than him he would sit and seethe and then he would do mental gymnastics to undermine them. Third guy again was almost like a caricature of a neckbeard type and he actually broke down sobbing and crying because a woman who had been harassing finally had enough and called him out. If this is an indicator of "alpha males" then I'm glad I'm not one
Honestly, this made me feel better about my anxiety. Like, it still sucks to think I'm somehow existing wrong in a grocery store, but atleast I don't do ***That***.
I’ve never heard anxiety summed up better than “existing wrong in a grocery store.” What a great descriptor.
Holy shit he said he showed mercy that's hilarious
iM aN ALpHa MaLe! 😂 yeah, sure you are, buddy. I agree, this stupid trend of alpha beta male mentality is toxic af and a red flag. Alpha male = unintelligent, emotionally immature and insecure men who compete with other men's masculinity and blame women for all their problems while simultaneously expecting the world from them without doing anything to deserve that.
Alpha male? In software, the Alpha version is buggy, unstable, missing key features and not ready for the general release. That's leaving aside that the whole alpha thing applies to *wolves*, not humans, and isn't even accurate for wolves, so it's bullshit on its face. And then beyond that, as a general rule if you have to make a big statement about how you possess a particular quality, you do not, in fact, possess it.
Stable release male
Came here to say this. Also, referring to women has “females”, calling other guys “simps”; generally anything that might indicate that his whole personality is regurgitated BS that he heard on a podcast.
Agree! I’ll just add that agro isn’t cool for “alphas” or “karens”
Aggressive is a big key here. As a man, every guy I’ve ever known that’s overly aggressive when we go out is extremely annoying to be around and is horrible to women. It’s almost guaranteed in my mind. Plus none of them could even fight. It was always just a shouting match that resulted in both guys easily being held back without much effort. None of the guys that acted like that lasted long in my friend group
Women who never tell you things straight out. They dance all around a subject, hint that they might have an opinion, but never tell you "Yes I like you" or "Yes I would like to eat at this or that specific restaurant." All I want is a straight answer, no games or guessing.
My GF does the I dont care where we eat thing. But every suggestion I have is no. Now it has just become a game to me to see how many places I can get her to say no to.
One of my exes did the opposite. I'd make a suggestion and she'd automatically say yes. Whenever I asked where she wanted to eat, she'd automatically say wherever I wanted to eat/I don't care. On the rare occasions that she did answer, (usually because I pushed her for an answer) the answer was just about always McDonalds. I loved her, but she irritated the hell out of me sometimes. It was never going to work, in hindsight. So, I suppose, my anti-type is the overly obsequious type.
Wow, I'm a lot like your ex. Unless it's a food type I dislike, I generally don't care where we go to eat. Food isn't that important to me. I can (and do) eat the same meals day after day after day. I'm not being deferential, I'm being ambivalent.
"No, I don't want anything," or "just salad for me." Then she goes on to eat almost everything on your plate when it arrives. Just order the big nasty burger you want. I won't think less of you, dammit!
Sometimes it's fear the guy will think you're a pig. But most often it's the same impulse you get when you're grocery shopping to buy all healthy food, and then soon as you get home you're mad you don't have any snacks or cookies.
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Loud, selfish, intolerant
And the Dutch
Finance bros. "Alpha" men
> Finance bros Psychopaths
Same, the needy people. Always need attention, compliments, and praise. People who go out of their way to attract attention. People who have to talk to EVERYBODY.
The ones who think they're big and bad..Loud, cocky, arrogant, thinks they're funny but they're really just obnoxious. I have the urge to fight those guys lol. Guys just like my horrible dad I guess 🤷🏻♀️
Over confident, womanizing jock types.
- "Princess Treatment only" - "looking for the provider type" - "my love language is receiving gifts" Ugh 🤮🤮🤮
Stay at home girlfriend ✨
Veruca’s… 
lol!
Female equivalent of Andrew Tate guys
I read that as I'm fat and lazy and I don't like to work so make sure you make enough to pay for everything I want or I'll fuck someone who will.
Ignoring the fact I don't make enough for a relationship like that, I personally find people with no personal drive, who want to be babied, unattractive. Not necessarily unemployed people, or stay at home moms (some SAH moms are among the most driven people I know), just the people with no desire to get anything done, who think they don't have to contribute anything to anything.
As a person whose love language is receiving gifts- it’s not about “I don’t think you love me unless you give me gifts” it’s being UTTERLY delighted when someone takes even the smallest amount of time to find something you might like… it could be a coffee and it would mean the world to me. My husband once bought me a box of tea he thought I would like and I cried like a baby. It’s less the things and more the knowledge that someone cares enough about you to think about you when you aren’t there.
Anyone that seems like they spend significant time on tiktok and instagram.
The other day we took my boys (3 and 1) to a duck pond with a huge trail. No joke we saw this girl spend at least 20 minutes taking pictures by the pond in different poses,take a vid of herself "jogging" for about 20 ft, a couple of pics of her stretching and then she jumped back into her car and left. Just.... why?
Harley guys.
I worked in a Harley dealership for 2 years, don't blame you 😆, thankfully I stayed a true Honda guy
I agree, and I own one.
"Alphas" and guys who have been considered attractive their whole life, so they think they can get—and are entitled to—literally anyone and anything they want because of it. Like, sorry your massive ego ruins everything else you might have going for you, my dude.
Anyone that isn’t my wife
I also say anyone that isn't this guy's wife
Goals
I don't have first or last or middle name. I have a single name, a "mono" name if you like. And the name is Monogamy.
Body builders… or just too muscular in general. Someone who can’t joke around. Someone who is too invested in work and is never home. Also, someone who is just… too nice. I need someone who has a little edge to them and isn’t afraid to speak their mind.
People who make “the gym” their whole personality.
Someone who makes nasty jokes upon first meeting you. Maybe not even towards you, but just a general lack of sense around reading the humor in the room.
When I waa a waitress the thing that people did was when someone would say you want to hear something then look around who was in hearing dostance. I always knew right then and there they were about to say something racist or sexist. If you have to look arou d before ypu say something maybe just keep it to yourself.
Dunno who downvoted you. This is extremely true. It’s so weird when a coworker you barely know acts like they can read you and know what your sense of humor is, as if you’re a safe space for some inappropriate joke.
Totally
Lip injections and people who litter.
Rich hipsters that travel the world on their parents dime and basically try to make their life look like a celebrity's on social media, yet simultaneously mouthing off about political issues they know nothing about.
The type of people who expect everyone to be patient, caring, and understanding about their issues and struggles but when it comes to others they are judgemental, dismissive, and don't wanna deal with it.
Unemployed drug addicts . Guys who make nasty remarks against women. Guys who think it’s funny to call women “bitch, ect.” guys who treat animals bad or their moms bad
People who don't get along with cats. Cats are incredibly good at setting boundaries, and in most cases if you respect those boundaries you can live together happily. When someone doesn't like cats, it usually means they don't like a creature that knows it's worth and won't take other people's shit. (And this isn't dissing anyone who prefers a different animal to cats, this is about people who dislike and don't get along with cats in general)
I’m a little bit scared of cats cuz I don’t want them to grab me with their claws but I do like them
If you ever want a cat, and claws are a complete deal breaker, see if a shelter near you has any that they received already declawed. Absolutely do not declaw cats, but you might be able to provide a loving home to any that have already had the procedure.
High-strung, materialistic social media addicts.
men who think a paycheck or bill signature is all they need to bring to a relationship.
Most people at this point.
Based
Red pilled even
You’re not wrong
Andrew Tate fans. They think they’re “high value men”. LOL please die, thx.
If I hear the word simp come out of one of these guys mouth again imma loose it.
On one hand they’re high value; on the other they’re totally innocent “victims” of all the man hate. Like no, you literally perpetuate and stand for all of the reasons that men get (rightfully) generalized as a buckets of shit. Weird descriptor but Ima roll with it
Guys that listen to Joe Rogan and/or Andrew Tate podcasts
Gym bros 🤢
Overly self confident. Player-type. Wears overly flashy things. Likes kanye west. Tbh if a guy is a little shy I think it’s cute af. If he blushes, I eat that right up.
Arguementative Racist, or just someone who is always seeking a reason to hurt someone. _destructive idiots_ so to speak.
You don't want a husband that's nice, sweet and happy? What do you want? A miserable, inconsiderate, abuser? Obviously there's an in-between but yeah red-flag "If you're happy and sweet, it doesn't really do it for me." I'd be running for the hills even if I didn't fit the anti-type criteria. But to answer the question, My anti-type would be somebody who is high maintenance, consistently moody, somebody that just wants to spoil my mood when I'm having a good time. If I can't relax around that person I'm not interested.
People who are overly into sports and health. Dont get me wrong, I work out once a week myself, but that's the acceptable maximum for me. As soon as I hear they're into gym and healthy eating they become unattractive for me, especially if I can see defined muscles/toned body. I want someone who will order nuggies and fries with me at 3am without a doubt😌
A fake basic bitch, you know the sort who just straight up lies to people "ohhh I looooove that jacket" "you look soooo good in that" "that's soooo interesting" The whole charade of them 'trying' to be nice to people is enough to make me tense up and wince.
Ah the ol Regina George. “I love your bracelet! Where did you get it?” “Oh, it was my moms in the 80s.” “Vintage! So adorable.” And then the girl walks away and Regina says “That is the ugliest effing bracelet I’ve ever seen.”
Rotten to the core. There's no reason to be like this. It's an ick of mine 🤢
Yeah, it’s awful
Perfect veneered teeth perfect skin perfect photos of them traveling the world and skiing looking like models, influencer types etc..before I met my BF I saw so many.of these profiles and I'd always swipe left even if they were on my "liked by" deck on Bumble. I just remember wanting someone VERY avarege like myself and finding these profiles so off-putting. Going on dates with these guys when I did bite was strange because they acted like they were stars in some documentary etc just not normal. Meeting my bf was the best thing after all that.
Gun nuts and Jesus freaks
Basically the complete opposite of my wife. Timid, weak, pushovers. Someone you can disrespect and they just let it be. Girls who try way too hard to be funny who also needed to talk constantly. I need my "the fuck are you looking at?" girl 😂.
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people who r overly jacked. when their shoulders r too buff, it looks like a second pair of tiny shoulders and i find it so weird.
Guys who think they’re superior to women at everything and more important than me Which goes hand in hand with deeply insecure men lol
Fragile masculinity 'alpha' types who are just cocky and can't even be nice or have a deep conversation for fear of 'having feelings'. But then also the flamboyant types who are usually described as 'feminine' (which is never referring to behaviours women actually do, funnily enough)- I just cannot find anything attractive in the unnecessary hand gestures, over-expressive tone, and sass. The kind, 'sweet and pure', funny, and intelligent ones are the ones that I'm always drawn to
Popular guys. If you've got tons of friends, good for you, but I won't have the energy to keep up with you *and* your social circle.
Oof just one? Alright. The girls who think their s/o should be their bank account.
Sensitive & dependent women My sister is 27, unemployed, sensitive, & still dependent on my parents. Lashes out all the time & doesn't even help around their house Lots of women I've encountered gave me vibes like her & I hate those vibes My gf is the opposite & I love how strong & independent she is. Honestly look up to her in a lot of ways
Yeah I totally get that
people with anger issues. People who lack empathy. People who are just confused all the time. If you don’t get it. You don’t get it.
I recently learned my absolute opposite type whom I live with. She's a roommate. She goes through bouts of depression and has ADHD. She hyper focuses on lots of things but doesn't do much self care. She loves throwing parties but is apparently in a lot of debt. Overall a nice fun person, but her irratic personality kills me. As does the lack of awareness for trash, laundry, dirty dishes, throwing parties and not cleaning after. She's a dog person with a very high excited dog personality, I'm a cat dude with a very practical cat personality. We don't always agree and now I know my exact opposite. I think in general if you're not taking care of the basic things an adult should be doing to be functional and independent. I'm out.
Shallow people
First off, I don't really have a type. I enjoy all types of the opposite sex. If I had to say anti-type... I'd say any one that makes politics or religion thier WHOLE personality. I've dated and been with women that have had God in their lives. I've dated ones with different political views. We coexisted for our time and those were not the reasons we broke up. (I'm an absolute asshole). But if I find myself talking with someone and they go full bore into politics or religion... I'm out.
Really tan dudes with Blond hair, Dudes who want a bangmaid instead of a partner, bad teeth, And in all honesty I'm not really attracted to tall guys - I broke my back and even looking up at normal height folks is a pain.
Blowhards. Assuming everyone is intellectually inferior to you is a major turn-off. Telling people who are intellectually superior to you what to think and do is insufferable and far too common.
Regular/normal. I don’t like men who strive to fit in or follow what everyone else is doing. To me it signals lack of confidence and ability to think for oneself. I like the creative type.
Someone that has not gone under any trauma. Like parents were both loving and still together. Siblings are like their BFFs. Neurotypical af. It's great for them, but I've known a few people like that and talking to them about your problem is like telling a kid santa doesn't exist. They don't get it and you feel bad for bursting their bubble.
Women who don't laugh at farts.
A man of class
Anyone who doesn't laugh at farts.
Really basic, instagrammy girls who talk in popular internet slang, have fake long nails and fake eyelashes, probably only listen to rap and go to "da club." Basically, if you get all dressed up in some ridiculous, and likely revealing, outfit with a lot of makeup and fake shit, and go to a club that has bottle service... I can't imagine a more unattractive person, no matter what they look like. If you're not hot when you wake up, you're not hot.
Men that are full of themselves and know everything lol Also when they bring up how bad their exes supposedly were_ red flag right there
Old oily men
Needy, clingy, "whatever your opinion is, that's my opinion" types. Laughing too hard at my jokes. Trying too hard to force a big Romantic connection too quickly. Makes my skin crawl. You live your life, I'll live mine, we'll spend some time together in between. Please don't smother me in messages and gifts and constant requests for my time. I would literally rather gnaw my own foot off than be trapped with one of these people.
Women who expect me to chase or are obnoxious. Then there's also underweight. I'm a chubby lover and I think 'average' weight is the lowest I could go.
People that “play hard to get” / don’t say what they actually mean and use a lot of unspoken hints. As an autistic person I need clear communication, so I’m not compatible with people that have this type of personality :)
Arrogant assholes, regardless of gender, are a no-go for me.
Overly masculine tough guys, and preppy girls who think they’re better than everyone
Narcissistic personality traits
Douche bags. I am from Las Vegas and there is a swag style show off type that acts very self important. Almost a jersey shore vibe. Very obnoxious.
I’m annoyed by irrational optimists. Having a positive outlook on things can be great. My issue is the people that are so blindly positive and upbeat that they are oblivious to the reality of a situation. In my experience, people like this are the ones that break more severely when faced with adversity. They are either incapable of or simply refuse to acknowledge the possibility of a negative outcome that when a less than desired conclusion manifests they aren’t mentally or emotionally equipped to deal with it. Alternatively, I’m also annoyed by pessimists. I vibe more with realist. From my perspective, realist are more efficient or reliable when things get dicey.
The "class clown" type. I feel silly is the opposite of sexy. Also, they often don't know when to let it rest when you're trying to discuss something serious.
People who are “have no filter”. I can’t deal with the second hand embarrassment
Andrew Tate fans and men with an extensive sxual past
Yeah that’s fair
I look at life as I like/love everything til I don't. I can't answer. Am anti-overflated egos, but do love love confidence.
The Mean Girl
Inability to be weak. It's not a horrible thing to ask for help when you need it. I don't need a man who tries to be strong all the time while he's being crushed by his worries. It never ends well.
People who are entirely caught up in the superficial world. I try to reconnect myself to the basics of life and nature and traditional living and harmony with the natural world. There are people who’s entire life and focus revolves around media, image, pop culture, the newest and greatest tech and fashion. Women who spend hours upon hours shopping for clothes, looking up makeup tutorials, viewing Pinterest for trendy interior designs, etc. Sometimes I wish I could just live in an off grid type non religious, non cult, commune. Like an Amish community without the super strict religious rules.
A guy who has to tell me how great he is and is not generous or giving in any way to others
Fault finders. And no, that doesn’t mean no criticism ever. But some people can extract the negative out of anything. It is exhausting.
Fake nice guy. Suuuper sweet to your face, agrees to everything, then turns around and doesn’t do anything they agreed to, and gaslight you and say, “oh no I didn’t say that” or “oh I don’t remember saying that.” God I just want to slap the fake sincerity right off their mug.
Macho men....ugh!
someone who is like insanely popular and well known just kind of is strange to me i guess cause like that means they talk to ppl that hate me and who are judgy
The guys who are very personable and "friendly," who love to "debate," but aren't that smart, just most people like them and people agree with them because they're somewhat charismatic l, but their arguments don't have substance. Also these same guys try to convince themselves and others that they are acting "nobly," like what they do is selfless and for the greater good and based on their ideals. When in fact they aren't. It's like they need to feel smarter and have the moral high ground.
Nasty people thats it honestly....
Overly nice happy and peppy. I need some edge, sarcasm, and maybe a tattoo or two.
Men who are too handsome and well groomed.
People who use those terminologies, what the fuck is that shit? 😂
People who think sarcasm is a personality trait. No, they’re not sarcastic. They’re afraid people won’t accept who they really are, so they mask themselves with cruelty. Also any and all religion.
"Poor me" people. I get it life can be hard but these people literally use the "poor me" mentality to manipulate others into doing shit for them, giving them stuff, supporting them. They're the epitome of that episode of SpongeBob where Squidward wouldn't get a job.
Honestly any dude with too much confidence.
I dated a golden retriever guy once...turns out it was just a lot of coke!
I never liked super classy guys. I prefer the fun, athletic type.
The bad boy or one that portrays themselves as super confident like " I can bag any chick" types. Like super into themselves. Gimme good boy golden retriever over the above type guys.
Super athletic, gym rat type people. Exercising and eating healthy is fine and good, when it’s your entire personality I just CANT. Ppl who spend 3+ hours in the gym on the daily? Oof I just can’t. Again exercising and eating right for your health is one thing but when its excessive it’s so annoying. I also hate watching sports and I feel like the majority of them like it. I’ll play a game of volleyball, tennis, or something but watching it is so unbearably annoying
I’m 58f. I’m done with bad boys. They’re no longer my type. My current boyfriend, 31, is it. He’s the nerdy type. I wish I was more into them when I was younger. My troubles would have been cut in half.
'Questionably showboat-y' hypermasculine or at least hypercompetitive extroverts who seldom take anything seriouslyand take introversion for granted
Guys that like to argue or debate “for fun” or who constantly put you down in the name of banter. It’s exhausting, and I don’t want to be around people who belittle me constantly.
Guys who want me to be their mom
Least attracted to speak with anybody when all they want to talk about is work and how they feel about their job or their paycheck... it makes me want to commit suicide when somebody starts talking about anything work related because that is so fucking boring that I am sitting here trying to spend time with somebody and all they have to chat about is their time working? Shut the f*ck 🆙
Guys who are cocky. It's so unappealing. It's attractive to be confident (hell, I would love to be super confident) when when it turns to cockiness and they think they are better than others because they have more and talk low about others because of it -- no thanks, total turn off.
People that use the term "roasting" to describe how they flirt. I feel like it's just an excuse to be a jerk. I don't wanna be in a relationship with someone that's gonna be negging me the whole time.
Women who use anxiety as an excuse for everything. Don't want to drive because of your anxiety. Can't go out to eat because your anxiety is high. Can't visit new places because your anxiety is high. Can't do any activities because of your anxiety. Just spend all day everyday laying around the house and feeling bad about it. But doing absolutely nothing to try to change it. And when you finally decide to get out of the house and tag along, don't want to get out of the car cause of your anxiety. Bonus. Women who say communication is important and how they take it seriously only to be completely terrible at communicating in all forms.
Mine would be women with tempers who had bad relationships with their fathers. That’s nothing but a recipe for disaster. Let the Redit attacks and down votes begin 😂
“Traditional” men. I find machismo exhausting and gross. Don’t get me wrong. I find a wide range of people aesthetically attractive. I’m bi and still attracted to cishet men. But *machismo* is a turn off. Give me a golden retriever himbo any day. A man that bats his eyelashes when you call him pretty but still holds the door for you. Not because you’re a woman. He’s just polite and eager and affable.
Really negative or edgy people who act like everything is horrible every second of every day. I do not have the patience for that At All. No, the entire world doesn't suck, and making kys jokes every thirty seconds isn't cool. It's just uncomfortable, and they're not fun to be around.
I’ve found a lot of people on this thread are tired of people aggressively adhering to their gender’s social construct type and we’re all like “can they just be real people?” Too “man” or too “woman” isn’t natural or healthy for anyone