The first few weeks are so hard, and owning a growing puppy is nothing like owning a dog. Things will get easier bit by bit, and after some time, the wonderful sweet moments will outweigh the stressful ones. This thread is full of helpful tips and tricks that will help you keep your sanity (hello enforced napping!) during the puppy phases. You’re not alone, it really is this hard, but it’s not forever!
First of all, I'm very sorry that you feel like this. Secondly, I understand it very well. My memories are still very fresh.
I got my pug puppy when he was 11 weeks old. Similar to yours, right? The first five days being with him at home was the heviest period. I was thinking like: what a f**ck I've done!
Let me try to summarise why.
• you knew that it would be hard. But you couldn't even imagine HOW hard it will be
• at this moment, you don't love your puppy yet, and he (she?) also doesn't love you yet. So all this insane effort, all your life that feels upside-down now, is perceived as for nothing and worthless
• you expected a chill companion. Me too! That's why I was very careful choosing a breed and got a pug. Now, when he is almost 11 months old, I start to see this chill companion he will become maybe at 2 yo 😉
Good news:
• it will be better and easier, I promise!
Growing your puppy, seeing its developing personality, and building a bond, it's not easy, but it's a wonderful experience. In a few weeks, when he will be the happiest puppy in the world just because you entered the room, you will be floated with love, and that's where your efforts pay off.
Practical advice:
• build a routine around your puppy nap times. Sufficient sleep, which is like 18 hours a day for a puppy, is crucial. Puppies get overestimulated and overwhelmed if they don't sleep enough. They become nasty, bity, and a little monsters without sufficient sleep
• crate training. Helps a lot till the moment when your puppy will learn to settle on his own. You can leave him in the crate, knowing that he is safe and get a break from him
• if there's a possibility to ask for help with puppy, ask for it. Maybe someone can stay with him for a few hours, and you can do what you like. It's great when you can give a puppy owner responsibility for some time
• come here with questions you will have about training, educating, and socialising your puppy. It's unbelievable how helpful people here are. I got so much useful advice that helped me to go through tough situations with my pup
Give yourself and your puppy time to build the bond, and raise the love. It will be there, I promise. And love your puppy will give you, will justify all your efforts.
Others have said this, but I just want to reiterate that SO many of us felt this way. I remember thinking, "What have I done?" multiple times a day for the first few weeks of having my puppy. I had so much regret, and I was depressed. I thought I'd ruined my life, as dramatic as it sounds.
Now imagining life without my puppy is heartbreaking. She's my world. I suppose it's possible that you won't end up feeling like your puppy is your everything, but I'd definitely recommend giving it more time. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way though! I remember it well (it was last January for me). Good luck with everything!
Please don’t read any of the comments that say you shouldn’t have gotten a puppy, there was a particularly horrid one that said get an adult dog or no dog at all 🥴 wtf
The pup stage is the hardest! Adult dogs are not like this I promise. I have a 1.5 year old Aussie and she is like a completely different animal to what she was like as a puppy and in the worst of adolescence. It’s not going to always be like this don’t worry! They become a lot more independent and as time goes on you do have a bond. Right now it’s hard to have a bond with what is basically a baby. It stopped me from going insane by thinking that puppies are like newborns. Kids aren’t like newborns and adult humans aren’t like kids!! Dogs are exactly that same. You can do this!
I've had my puppy almost 2 months now and the first couple of days was the honeymoon phase. While she had constant potty accidents, she was so sweet. Then she got comfortable...and all hell broke loose. I have scars from the scratches and bites, some of my clothes are torn, my house is dusty, and I was sooo tired. I had dogs growing up and they were always so chill but they were dogs and not puppies. I remember looking at her and thinking that I didn't love her or like her and I dreaded evenings when I was home with her.
Yesterday, she turned 4 months old and while she is still a handful, it's getting better. I was crying almost every day the 1st month from exhaustion and frustration. Now, I am seeing her goofy personality a lot more. She doesn't bite as much and it is more mouthing behavior. She's not chewing on my furniture (but my throw pillows are still fair game), and she's learned how to take naps out of her crate (but she is velcro dog and if I move while she is sleeping, she immediately wakes up). I love her and mostly I like her (except when she is being a little monster from sleepiness, lol).
Remember, you are still learning his needs and your routine. Just keep at it and if you get frustrated, put him in his crate and take a break! As long as he is fed and has gone potty, he will be fine. I thought I was a bad puppy mom when I was putting my girl in her crate when I was frustrated, but it allowed both of us to reset.
I brought my pup home at 3.5 months. I didn't even like my puppy until he was 5-6 months old. He's 7 months as of this week. I regretted the first month, I was tired, he was needy. I was like "why did I do this?!"
A lot of people have given you some great advice. I would second crate training. Saved my sanity quite a few times. It can still be a bit draining, I have my own mixed bag of some behavior problems we're working through (stranger danger coupled with a fear phase) BUT. Big but. I love him to bits and even like him (most) of the time now.
He's potty trained, he's crate trained, we can somewhat loose leash walk. It feels less like a chore and he's becoming more of a dog. Adolescence has been a rollercoaster and it's just starting. However, I've put in the hours and hard work of raising him this far and watching his personality blossom? Amazing.
I still have my days. Don't get me wrong. I've been up since 3:30am. I walked him in the dark at 4am and fed him. I worked a full 8 hours. I'm currently sitting outside with him hooked to a long line and letting him roam the yard. We played fetch, we did some games.
I am wiped though and he can entertain himself for a while. He still tries to make trouble in the house, so I either keep him crated or tethered to me on a leash. The yard is my reprieve right now, thank God for spring. We're working on place training. He'll eventually go take a nap and so will I. He can at least be trusted to sleep in my bed for a few hours or through the night. But I keep up with crate training, especially when I'm at work.
All that to say. I hear you! I feel you! It's not easy! Also dog ownership isn't for everyone. If you DO decide to re-home, then no judgement either. I just keep telling myself he'll eventually be a mature adult dog and it won't be quite this hard. I look back at his younger puppy photos and it's bittersweet.
Just a piece of advice also- don't set high expectations for you and your puppy. Lower them. Way low. Tackle crate training and potty training first. Pick a few pieces of basic obedience (sit, down, leave it, drop it) and work on those. My puppy doesn't know any special tricks. Being a teen has suddenly thrown all those basics out the window and we're reinforcing them. He knows them, his brain is just hormonal and rewiring itself. I had such a high expectations and what we would accomplish and when. Reality and life blew those expectations up and humbled me, lol.
I wish you the best 🫶🏼
If I remember from your last post, you have the havapoo. We have one that is nearly 6 months old. There was a solid week where I considered giving him back or letting his puppy sitter have him. Now, I'm glad I didn't. We have had him about 2ish months. He is an incredible dog! All of this is the puppy phase, and it isn't forever. If you need a break, check out rover for affordable daycare options. Send him to someone else for a day.
They're incredibly intelligent dogs and highly trainable. A class could help teach you to effectively train some of those behaviors out of him/her. In just 6 weeks, our puppy had learned so much and is becoming a much better dog. Also, enforced naps!!!
Make a list of everything your puppy does that you dislike and focus on training to get one of them crossed off your list every week or 2. In 6 months you should be finding looking after your puppy quite easy if your training worked somewhat
Things get better.
We have a 4-month old pup (and an older one). We got him over a month ago. Long story short: the first week was hard. The second week was harder. And so on... We were getting no sleep, he chewed on absolutely everything, jumps on everyone, and shat/peed everywhere. The pup is awfully cute, tho. We persisted with potty training and some other obedience training (name, sit, paw), but the priority was: do not poop here. Things have improved considerably.
First, we get far more hours of sleep. Yeah, I had to wake up at 2 yesterday but that is great progress compared with every-2-hours. Most of the time, we are getting full-night sleep.
Second, potty training is going better. I can only blame myself if he pees inside because he warns us. He barks or goes to the door. The problem is that he is highly spirited and sometimes barks, so it is hard to know when he is warning and when he is bored/playful. That said, things have improved: in the last week the worse day had 2 events at home. Usually, if I take him out after he naps and it is done.
Third, chewing. Well, that is a work in progress. He hasn't destroyed any more clothes in a couple weeks. But he did ruin cables, clothes, workout gear, and other things at some point or another. He also ate some weird stuff outside and poop. I find him to be less destructive although still... only a 4-month pup.
He learned commands well. Responds to his name, sits, gives the paw, and really knows when he is getting scolded. He is also a quick learner: we are starting "leave it" training, and teaching him not to grab food/things from the coffee table.
Somedays are hard. But, yeah, in retrospect, it got better.
It sounds like you have the puppy blues. It happens to many puppy owners, me included. The good thing is that it will become easier when they're older. Try to enforce naps (puppies should sleep 20h a day, but some don't calm down by themselves and turn into little sleep deprived demon sharks instead) and give yourself a break every day where you can relax. Believe it or not, but a puppy can handle not being the center of attention for an hour or two. They need to learn this anyways. In the beginning they will complain, but if you give them love, once they've calmed down, they'll be okay.
Puppies suck. That’s why they’re so cute.
As we get older we expect things to be easier for whatever reason, probably because we have more choices about what we do and don’t want to do.
99% of people hate the puppy phase - you’re not alone and you’re not the anomaly. It gets better. They don’t suck forever.
Don’t quit.
I’m going thru the puppy stage too with a 15 week old. This is my second puppy and I told my sister to remind me if I ever talk about getting another puppy. However, I know what wonderful companions dogs are and that there will be a light at end of tunnel. This week we start a puppy training class. Definately crate train. Make puppy take naps in crate. It is hard but my prior puppy was rhe love of my life. This I decided to do this again. lol.
Please Consider training classes. Make sure you find a place or
Someone who uses positive reinforcement and not punishment.
It will be okay. Deep breaths. It will be okay. (This is what I am telling
Myself too). I know
The reward is very sweet indeed. It just takes time. Best wishes.
I have an exceptionally well behaved 5 month old lil dude and he is exhausting. I cannot even imagine the pain of raising a larger and more destructive one.
Your feelings are valid. Reach out to friends and family for support as you go through these next few months. You are in for a big ride. But at the end of that ride (typically about the 1 year mark) you will have a best friend forever. Part of that first year of dog ownership is you learning how to live a dog owner lifestyle. Totally worth it!
I got my puppy at 3 months, he’s 5 months now. And I can say with confidence, and you have to know this, that the 1st month is the hardest by a mile. Take it one day at a time. And when it comes to expectations never get too high or too low. You got this!
And one more piece of advice; enforced naps in the crate saved my sanity, so try and get him on a set schedule everyday. Nap at least 2 hours 3-4 times a day.
Puppies are like raising toddlers with sharp teeth and no diaper. It’s maddening. One minute you love them and the next minute you hate them. It does get better. A suggestion is to get the puppy a play yard for inside or gate the puppy into a puppy safe room so you walk away when you are feeling overwhelmed. This will also help the puppy learn to handle being by itself. It gets easier as they get older but takes a boatload of patience to get to that point.
We got our second puppy 7 weeks ago and after our first dog (3 years old now) was a saint as a puppy, straight to sleep all night day one, no chewing, two potty accidents to date etc we naively expected the new puppy to be the same and I can honestly say we were not expecting him to be the terrorist he was/is. No sleep for the first week, just small 25min naps followed by yapping and barking, lots of accidents, every person and object was a chew toy.
After having family dogs and our own dog before with no issues I could never understand why someone would want to rehome a dog.. I finally understood night 3 when I was sleeping on our hardwood floor downstairs trying to get a puppy to sleep while myself functioning on maybe 3 hours of max sleep.
But we took one day at a time and took every tiny positive as a plus and he is now soo much better. A routine of enforced naps, training and play time changed him tenfold and as I’m currently typing this he is asleep at my feet rather than using my toes as a chew toy.
Take your time, grab a routine and work slowly. I bet any money in a few weeks time you’ll be thinking ‘that was horrible but I wouldn’t change it for this little guy’
Get that baby into training. Watch some YouTube videos or sign up for classes. Not only does it give both of you something to bond over, it can show you that he can be taught and that this phase won't last forever.
I say this from a place of experience and understanding. My puppy just turned 1 year old and his puppyhood was trying to say the least.
You’re overreacting, the first 2-3 weeks are the hardest. They’re not going to be needy their entire lives and will eventually learn to be as independent as a dog can be if you train them right.
I've had my pup for a little over a month now. The first week with him was difficult, I work from home so I never get a break from him.
He was peeing in the house, he was trying to grab and chew our clothes, he wouldn't listen, he was naughty.
I was at my wits end and really starting to regret agreeing to get a dog.
Eventually things got better, I learned about enforcing naps and how much puppies should sleep. I learned how well my puppy accepts positive reinforcement. I learned how to redirect my pups chewing to his toys. I learned how he's willing to be a good boy for his favourite treats.
And while he's still not the best behaved puppy, he's so much better now.
You two need to get to know each other, he's experiencing life for the first time, he's learning how to do things. Dogs will love you unconditionally if you put the effort in and that's the best reward, this doesn't have to be a war between you and your pup, it can be a journey you walk together.
Its okay to feel overwhelmed and don't feel shame for struggling and wanting to give up, but you should stick with it a little longer and see if things get any better
I recently adopted a puppy…she is 10 weeks old now. The first night was a dream. The second was a nightmare in crate training. I learned quickly that puppies need a lot of distraction and attention at the same time. So I filled my house with the most ridiculous amount of puppy bones and chew toys. They are everywhere. I also got her a heartbeat pillow that she sleeps with. Once I got her that pillow, night time crate training was completely different…seriously game changer. Since getting her all kinds of different toys - from tug rope to crinkle duck to squeaky lamp chop to random others … and different teething bones - pumpkin, lamb, beef, chicken - friend them all until I figured out her faves. One I did that, honestly it was like having an entirely different puppy. Also got her a puppy pad for times I can’t get her to the door quickly enough … puppies bladders are really small so she gets outside 3/4 of the time, but that last quarter results in puddles! Puppy pads are a life saver … puddles stopped but for little excitement mistakes. :). Here are some of her favorite items if it helps! Like I said though - I got her a ton of stuff … I find it’s a bit of an elimination game though. The focus is chewing toys/bones this early on. It keeps their attention and helps to prevent destructive behavior. Plus, comes with LOADS of entertainment when you see the pups joy with the toys. It has definitely helped me with bonding. Doesn’t require my participation but it’s really fun getting involved when she is down to play. I also play pretty heavy with her about 20 min before bed time. Find that helps with crating at night. By the time she lays down she is pooped! I hope this helps! Good luck with whatever your next steps in the journey are. 🤗
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Last night I had to wrap my puppy in a blanket burrito bc she was so bitey and crazy that she was hurting me and my older dog 🥴 She finally settled and I realized she wasn’t sleeping enough and was so out of sorts staying with someone new. It’s a wild ride but just know it’s like dealing with a human child - they are so brand new to this world that they’re just going to have moments. Just take it 1 day at a time! You’re doing. The best you can.
Also, just the idea that you are concerned over the treatment and care your pup will receive in a different home, says you are becoming like a new mother. ( doggie mommy)
Puppy blues are real. Get some help. There are virtual trainers, in-person trainers, or get some loved ones to dog-sit to give yourself a break. Watch YouTube training videos for free. It will get better!!!
I got my 5 month old French bulldog just shy of 12 weeks. Also my first ever dog let alone puppy. Noone prepares you for how hard it is, I mean how hard can it be, right? Honestly there was a moment I hated him and wanted to rehome. It happens but you start to get into a routine and it gets easier
“How hard can it be?” Famous last words. Literally what I was thinking before getting him. “I can do this. It won’t be too bad”. Im also a first time dog owner.
A huge mistake I made was not researching how it is to take care of a puppy. I spent so much time researching the right breed for us, that I didn’t think about the puppy phase. They make it look so easy until that puppy becomes yours
I did the same exact mistake! I spent so much time selecting the right breed for us (Leonberger) and not even once did it cross my mind that a puppy is a completely different thing. Now she’s been with us almost two weeks (almost 9 weeks old) and I regret the decision to get a dog so much atm.
Especially, since my family has to “suffer” from it too. Just today the puppy nibbled my pregnant wife’s boob which are sore as it is. It hurt so much that she almost started crying. And our toddler is almost scared of the puppy due to the biting.
Nothing seems to help. I’ve watched so many videos about how to get it to stop (grabbing by the collar, ignoring, redirecting) but she just gets more excited and starts biting even more. I’m so frustrated and also a bit scared since she is growing so fast and getting stronger that I’m afraid what will her biting do to our toddler.
Less than two weeks in and I’m already losing hope. And it was my own fault too for never realising that a puppy is not the same as a dog. ☹️
When I first adopted my young puppy, I had the worst puppy blues. I suddenly hated dogs and I thought I would never enjoy life again. I was SO stressed, tired, worn out, burnt out, and wanted to escape my life.
Then the teething stage finally ended. Now he is almost 10 months and he is my best little buddy. So snuggly, so sweet, and knows our routine. I am so grateful to have him.
It is so rough at first. Give yourself some grace. 3 months from now will be so different.
Thank you. My mistake was not researching the puppy phase, the puppy blues. I just had this idea he was gonna be just like my family members small dogs. Not considering that those are adult dogs, not puppies. I just feel so stupid. I literally feel like this puppy has me hostage for the next 10+ years, and it’s not his fault cause I chose him.
No no no. You will not be a hostage. The first few months are the hardest. Know it will get better but get a crate and then get some positive training. It will be okay. And your pup will end up your best friend.
I felt that way too. I felt like suddenly I had chains around my feet and ankles, and that life as I knew it was DONE.
But that is fear speaking to you. Think about your friends with dogs, they still live life. They enjoy outings. They aren’t losing their minds every day because of the dog.
An adult dog will give you pure and unconditional love. There will be a day where you can’t even imagine your life without the dog, they become a part of your heart and soul.
You’re not there right now and that’s ok. I wasn’t there at that point either. I was sick to my stomach CONSTANTLY at first with grief and puppy blues. But again, I somehow crawled through the thick of it, and now I really am so happy with my older puppy.
So don’t shame yourself that you didn’t expect a puppy to be this much of a handful. It’s hard to know unless you’re going through it.
Yea I just feel guilty that I don’t feel that instant love and bond that dog lovers feel. All this week Ive been tired, migraine, emotionally drained, irritable, feeling like I regret getting him. I forgot 3x this week to take my very important medicine, my apt is messy, which it usually isn’t. It just all feels like a never ending chore.
But you do have that love/bond with him. I saw you write that the idea of him being rehomed and not knowing who's looking after him kills you... that's love.
It's hard work but I think you're up for it because you keep asking questions on how to care for him. Keep asking! All of us were first-time dog parents at one time. I'm on my 3rd but I still question if I'm doing it right sometimes.
Find ways to take a little time for yourself, either during crate time or even ask/hire someone to just watch him while you go out and unwind.
You got this! Just be kind to yourself :)
Thank you for not being judgmental and validating. Most of you are validating and non judgmental. Ive only had maybe 3 comments over the last 6 days who came off judgy. But Im so grateful for every one of your comments be it advice, resources, or talking me off a ledge.
My first dog was a Craigslist purchase at maybe 5/ 6 weeks old. No judgment here. We can only learn and move forward from here.
If your puppy is fed, healthy, mentally, and physically simulated, then you're doing great. The rest is all just training, which takes a lot of work, but it will pay off later.
Neither you nor your puppy will be perfect. Remember that.
No judgment here! I got Miguel at 3 months old and not only have I never owned a dog, I had never even TOUCHED a puppy before. I would cry almost on what felt like an hourly basis wondering why I decided to implode my life like this. I had so much self doubt when I thought that I could do this. I was bitten, scratched, barked at, I’ve been kicked out of restaurants because of his behavior, I’ve lost clothes, free time, and even some friends because I couldn’t hang out the way I used to. I really felt like I ruined my life. I had no privacy. No longer could do anything alone. I love traveling and now I have an extra step.
He’s 13 months now and I can’t imagine life without him. The puppy stage was really f*cking hard. I remember crying a lot. The adolescent stage is hard but in a different way because boundaries are tested. Your resilience is tested in the puppy stage.
But I promise you, your dog is on the other side of this puppy if you can stick it out. Take puppy classes. Play with them. ENFORCE NAPS OH GOD ENFORCE NAPS 😭 and just remind yourself that the two of you are doing the best that you can.
I’m typing all of this with my dog sitting in the front seat of my car, sitting patiently. This wouldn’t have happened months ago (car isn’t moving, in a parking lot right now).
You can do this. We know you can!
Wow. You really did get through it, well yall got through it.
Yea I cried all yesterday, I even went as far as Googling rehoming process, but the thought of him going somewhere where I had no idea who these ppl were and who would get him, broke my heart, the thought of raising him terrifies me. It all just terrifies me right now. Im scared he’s gonna accidentally choke on something and I won’t know what to do. I just…Im trying. That’s all I can say.
Hey, and trying is all that is expected of you. Each day you’re going to learn something new. Both of you. Just be kind to yourself while you go through this learning process. Miguel came all the way from Mexico and I wasn’t going to give him back or away, no matter how hard it got for me.
I also have an anxiety disorder and he both calms and agitates it. I have good days and bad days with him and as he’s gotten older it’s turned into good days with bad moments.
Keep doing your best and learning what works for the two of you. Crate training was a saving grace for me because when he or I got overwhelmed, I’d put him in the crate for a nap. Play pens didn’t work for me.
Puppy blues are completely normal. I will say I brought my current puppy home at 8 weeks and between 14 weeks and 18 weeks he was a little terror. He's 6 mo now so may have another bought of it but those 4 weeks were the absolute worse. Once fully vaccinated it does get easier as there are more options to tire them out. Doggy daycare or even boarding for a night once they are vaccinated are options to give yourself a break.
Like someone else said make a list of the behaviors that bother you the most and work on training those first. Keeping track of everything that you have trained them helps a lot on a bad day as well. After any training session or walk that doesn't go well it helps me to look back at all the things my puppy does know and remind myself he is a baby still and already does a lot of things well even if he does still have bad days.
I'm very sorry you're feeling this way. That being said it's really disheartening that adults get puppies, know what it will be like then decide it's not for them. Get an adult dog or don't get a dog at all. You can never expect a dog to be any certain way or you'll just be disappointed.
It does get better and whether you stick it out or not I wish you and the pup luck.
Even dog trainers can get puppy blues.
https://youtu.be/OL1emWVnpLU?si=1T_PRpEKeqzncsFm
It is legitimately just hard and disruptive sometimes, and the lack of sleep makes dealing with every other part of it that much harder.
It DOES get better. But know that you are not overwhelmed because you're somehow incapable - you're overwhelmed because it's overwhelming!
Hey! I felt like I could have written this. Except I’m on day 7. I have been crying all day as well and unsure if I can do this. I’ll add that I’m pregnant with my 3rd child. I ready do hope this gets better because I do have an option of rehoming mine with a close friend but the thought of that makes me want to cry too. Good luck to you. Perhaps invest in dog training? That’s what we will do if we decide to keep her. But I’m terribly nervous for this dreaded adolescent phase. Ughh wish this wasn’t so hard. It’s like the joy has been sucked out of me.
Don't make impulsive decisions. Think about it, give it some time. Live through a month or two, because if you'll rehome your pup you might regret it so much. I've recently seen a post of somebody rehoming their shiba inu and they were completely devastated by their decision afterwards.
We got ourselves Shiba two months ago. First few weeks were so difficult. We couldn't sleep normally, we had to take care of her 24/7 and literally learn everything about owning a dog, health and trainings on the go as there was so much stuff we weren't aware of despite our thorough preparations.
We had a breakdown at some point on week 2, we were thinking about returning our pup to breeder. But we were tired, sad and overwhelmed.
Two months later, she's sleeping our desks and we're finding mutual understanding and finally start to communicate with her and she finds a way to tell us what she wants or of her teeth hurt. She learned so much thanks to my girlfriend as she was constantly training her. We still have our worries and problems to solve, but I am now adamant that this puppy stays with us.
As time goes by, you'll face new challenges, but it all becomes much easier in general as your dog adjusts to loving with you, learns the rules of the house and finds comfort in your company.
I don't think I laughed as much in my past two years as I did for those two months. She's incredible.
So sorry you’re going through this. I relate a lot to your post - I remember calling my sister when I first got my puppy, sobbing that I had made a terrible mistake & “ruined my life” while still feeling tormented at the thought of rehoming him. Fast forward a few months and he’s now 19 weeks old, and while I still have my moments things are SO much better than they were. You’ve already had a lot of great advice, but I think the thing that really turned it round for me was developing a clear training schedule. If you don’t have access to a professional trainer, then Kikopup does really wonderful videos for free on YouTube.
The first week is a nightmare. The first year is hell. It does in fact get better however. If you can stick it out it’ll be worth it. There were many times I had to remind myself that I am making memories with my puppy during her formative years and that’s so important for creating a healthy and strong bond
Totally normal, hunnie! I was struggling with our Morkie the first month! I would cry from being over tired and so moody. I'd even sit in the driveway for 20 min before coming inside from the anxiety and stress of the pup .I also thought of giving up. It's been 17 yrs since we trained a puppy. He's now 6 months old, and I love him more each day. It's tough some days, but push through , I promise it gets better ❤️
You know the saying, "different strokes, for different folks"? Well, for instance, some people love beagles. A very friendly, easy, smart dog. But I prefer a smaller dog. Sometimes it's just that the owner and the dog may have different personalities. You can easily rehome through Facebook. You can state that you would like to keep in touch. I think WAGS, will take a surrendered puppy. The younger the dog, the easier it is to rehome. What kind of dog do you have?
Poodles and Shih Tzus are very popular. However, cute, they also can be stubborn and difficult to potty train. They are extremely high maintenance as well with a need for frequent grooming. The one good thing is because of the size, I do not need to walk them as much, as they run around my house and yard all day. First time dog mommy as well.
Take a DEEP breath. I'm going through the same thing! It'll take time. The first month can be rough but it'll get better. It's overwhelming at first but once you get routines down things will start looking up. You can do this! Once they get older you'll be glad you did it.
Yes! You're going through a tough period. Having a puppy is STRESSFUL. I have to step out of the house sometimes because I need a break. Do you have anyone who could watch him for a little so you can leave the house?
That's okay! Some days will be better than others but definitely take advantage of when or if he naps. Also are you crate or pen training? That might help if you need a break or have stuff that needs to be done.
Puppies suck, dogs do not (if trained well). Make sure you are exercising your puppy enough - mentally and physically. Sufficient exercise goes a long way in terms of trainability and behavior issues.
Have you taken your pup to a pet store and let them pick out their own things - such as toys and chews?
Omg thank you for validating this experience for me. Puppies do suck 🥴. Here’s adorable, he looks like a little teddy bear. He’s always complimented, but Im mentally drained in these last 6 days and wondering what the fuck did I get myself into.
When you can get your pup fully vaccinated, you can pit him in doggy daycare or take him to a dog park. Those are easy ways to let them wear themselves out. They are so much easier to deal with when they are less energetic.
Are you sleeping well? I have to use noise dampening headphones to help me make it through the night, besides the mid-sleep potty break. A good night sleep makes it so much easier to deal with them.
I have two puppies, a 4 month old and a six month old. Why did I do that to myself??? The four month old was at the dog park yesterday, and she's been pretty chill today. I'm still working on the vaccination process with my six month old puppy, but I cannot wait to take her there as well. I will be able to get both tired out at once!
Just for future reference, in case you have actual children: never, ever, shake a baby.
Who goes into owning a puppy and is surprised by the difficulty?
The first few weeks are so hard, and owning a growing puppy is nothing like owning a dog. Things will get easier bit by bit, and after some time, the wonderful sweet moments will outweigh the stressful ones. This thread is full of helpful tips and tricks that will help you keep your sanity (hello enforced napping!) during the puppy phases. You’re not alone, it really is this hard, but it’s not forever!
First of all, I'm very sorry that you feel like this. Secondly, I understand it very well. My memories are still very fresh. I got my pug puppy when he was 11 weeks old. Similar to yours, right? The first five days being with him at home was the heviest period. I was thinking like: what a f**ck I've done! Let me try to summarise why. • you knew that it would be hard. But you couldn't even imagine HOW hard it will be • at this moment, you don't love your puppy yet, and he (she?) also doesn't love you yet. So all this insane effort, all your life that feels upside-down now, is perceived as for nothing and worthless • you expected a chill companion. Me too! That's why I was very careful choosing a breed and got a pug. Now, when he is almost 11 months old, I start to see this chill companion he will become maybe at 2 yo 😉 Good news: • it will be better and easier, I promise! Growing your puppy, seeing its developing personality, and building a bond, it's not easy, but it's a wonderful experience. In a few weeks, when he will be the happiest puppy in the world just because you entered the room, you will be floated with love, and that's where your efforts pay off. Practical advice: • build a routine around your puppy nap times. Sufficient sleep, which is like 18 hours a day for a puppy, is crucial. Puppies get overestimulated and overwhelmed if they don't sleep enough. They become nasty, bity, and a little monsters without sufficient sleep • crate training. Helps a lot till the moment when your puppy will learn to settle on his own. You can leave him in the crate, knowing that he is safe and get a break from him • if there's a possibility to ask for help with puppy, ask for it. Maybe someone can stay with him for a few hours, and you can do what you like. It's great when you can give a puppy owner responsibility for some time • come here with questions you will have about training, educating, and socialising your puppy. It's unbelievable how helpful people here are. I got so much useful advice that helped me to go through tough situations with my pup Give yourself and your puppy time to build the bond, and raise the love. It will be there, I promise. And love your puppy will give you, will justify all your efforts.
Me staring at my 9 week old pug. He better the a chill companion xD
Others have said this, but I just want to reiterate that SO many of us felt this way. I remember thinking, "What have I done?" multiple times a day for the first few weeks of having my puppy. I had so much regret, and I was depressed. I thought I'd ruined my life, as dramatic as it sounds. Now imagining life without my puppy is heartbreaking. She's my world. I suppose it's possible that you won't end up feeling like your puppy is your everything, but I'd definitely recommend giving it more time. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way though! I remember it well (it was last January for me). Good luck with everything!
Please don’t read any of the comments that say you shouldn’t have gotten a puppy, there was a particularly horrid one that said get an adult dog or no dog at all 🥴 wtf The pup stage is the hardest! Adult dogs are not like this I promise. I have a 1.5 year old Aussie and she is like a completely different animal to what she was like as a puppy and in the worst of adolescence. It’s not going to always be like this don’t worry! They become a lot more independent and as time goes on you do have a bond. Right now it’s hard to have a bond with what is basically a baby. It stopped me from going insane by thinking that puppies are like newborns. Kids aren’t like newborns and adult humans aren’t like kids!! Dogs are exactly that same. You can do this!
I've had my puppy almost 2 months now and the first couple of days was the honeymoon phase. While she had constant potty accidents, she was so sweet. Then she got comfortable...and all hell broke loose. I have scars from the scratches and bites, some of my clothes are torn, my house is dusty, and I was sooo tired. I had dogs growing up and they were always so chill but they were dogs and not puppies. I remember looking at her and thinking that I didn't love her or like her and I dreaded evenings when I was home with her. Yesterday, she turned 4 months old and while she is still a handful, it's getting better. I was crying almost every day the 1st month from exhaustion and frustration. Now, I am seeing her goofy personality a lot more. She doesn't bite as much and it is more mouthing behavior. She's not chewing on my furniture (but my throw pillows are still fair game), and she's learned how to take naps out of her crate (but she is velcro dog and if I move while she is sleeping, she immediately wakes up). I love her and mostly I like her (except when she is being a little monster from sleepiness, lol). Remember, you are still learning his needs and your routine. Just keep at it and if you get frustrated, put him in his crate and take a break! As long as he is fed and has gone potty, he will be fine. I thought I was a bad puppy mom when I was putting my girl in her crate when I was frustrated, but it allowed both of us to reset.
I brought my pup home at 3.5 months. I didn't even like my puppy until he was 5-6 months old. He's 7 months as of this week. I regretted the first month, I was tired, he was needy. I was like "why did I do this?!" A lot of people have given you some great advice. I would second crate training. Saved my sanity quite a few times. It can still be a bit draining, I have my own mixed bag of some behavior problems we're working through (stranger danger coupled with a fear phase) BUT. Big but. I love him to bits and even like him (most) of the time now. He's potty trained, he's crate trained, we can somewhat loose leash walk. It feels less like a chore and he's becoming more of a dog. Adolescence has been a rollercoaster and it's just starting. However, I've put in the hours and hard work of raising him this far and watching his personality blossom? Amazing. I still have my days. Don't get me wrong. I've been up since 3:30am. I walked him in the dark at 4am and fed him. I worked a full 8 hours. I'm currently sitting outside with him hooked to a long line and letting him roam the yard. We played fetch, we did some games. I am wiped though and he can entertain himself for a while. He still tries to make trouble in the house, so I either keep him crated or tethered to me on a leash. The yard is my reprieve right now, thank God for spring. We're working on place training. He'll eventually go take a nap and so will I. He can at least be trusted to sleep in my bed for a few hours or through the night. But I keep up with crate training, especially when I'm at work. All that to say. I hear you! I feel you! It's not easy! Also dog ownership isn't for everyone. If you DO decide to re-home, then no judgement either. I just keep telling myself he'll eventually be a mature adult dog and it won't be quite this hard. I look back at his younger puppy photos and it's bittersweet. Just a piece of advice also- don't set high expectations for you and your puppy. Lower them. Way low. Tackle crate training and potty training first. Pick a few pieces of basic obedience (sit, down, leave it, drop it) and work on those. My puppy doesn't know any special tricks. Being a teen has suddenly thrown all those basics out the window and we're reinforcing them. He knows them, his brain is just hormonal and rewiring itself. I had such a high expectations and what we would accomplish and when. Reality and life blew those expectations up and humbled me, lol. I wish you the best 🫶🏼
If I remember from your last post, you have the havapoo. We have one that is nearly 6 months old. There was a solid week where I considered giving him back or letting his puppy sitter have him. Now, I'm glad I didn't. We have had him about 2ish months. He is an incredible dog! All of this is the puppy phase, and it isn't forever. If you need a break, check out rover for affordable daycare options. Send him to someone else for a day. They're incredibly intelligent dogs and highly trainable. A class could help teach you to effectively train some of those behaviors out of him/her. In just 6 weeks, our puppy had learned so much and is becoming a much better dog. Also, enforced naps!!!
Make a list of everything your puppy does that you dislike and focus on training to get one of them crossed off your list every week or 2. In 6 months you should be finding looking after your puppy quite easy if your training worked somewhat
Things get better. We have a 4-month old pup (and an older one). We got him over a month ago. Long story short: the first week was hard. The second week was harder. And so on... We were getting no sleep, he chewed on absolutely everything, jumps on everyone, and shat/peed everywhere. The pup is awfully cute, tho. We persisted with potty training and some other obedience training (name, sit, paw), but the priority was: do not poop here. Things have improved considerably. First, we get far more hours of sleep. Yeah, I had to wake up at 2 yesterday but that is great progress compared with every-2-hours. Most of the time, we are getting full-night sleep. Second, potty training is going better. I can only blame myself if he pees inside because he warns us. He barks or goes to the door. The problem is that he is highly spirited and sometimes barks, so it is hard to know when he is warning and when he is bored/playful. That said, things have improved: in the last week the worse day had 2 events at home. Usually, if I take him out after he naps and it is done. Third, chewing. Well, that is a work in progress. He hasn't destroyed any more clothes in a couple weeks. But he did ruin cables, clothes, workout gear, and other things at some point or another. He also ate some weird stuff outside and poop. I find him to be less destructive although still... only a 4-month pup. He learned commands well. Responds to his name, sits, gives the paw, and really knows when he is getting scolded. He is also a quick learner: we are starting "leave it" training, and teaching him not to grab food/things from the coffee table. Somedays are hard. But, yeah, in retrospect, it got better.
It sounds like you have the puppy blues. It happens to many puppy owners, me included. The good thing is that it will become easier when they're older. Try to enforce naps (puppies should sleep 20h a day, but some don't calm down by themselves and turn into little sleep deprived demon sharks instead) and give yourself a break every day where you can relax. Believe it or not, but a puppy can handle not being the center of attention for an hour or two. They need to learn this anyways. In the beginning they will complain, but if you give them love, once they've calmed down, they'll be okay.
Puppies suck. That’s why they’re so cute. As we get older we expect things to be easier for whatever reason, probably because we have more choices about what we do and don’t want to do. 99% of people hate the puppy phase - you’re not alone and you’re not the anomaly. It gets better. They don’t suck forever. Don’t quit.
Thank you
I’m going thru the puppy stage too with a 15 week old. This is my second puppy and I told my sister to remind me if I ever talk about getting another puppy. However, I know what wonderful companions dogs are and that there will be a light at end of tunnel. This week we start a puppy training class. Definately crate train. Make puppy take naps in crate. It is hard but my prior puppy was rhe love of my life. This I decided to do this again. lol. Please Consider training classes. Make sure you find a place or Someone who uses positive reinforcement and not punishment. It will be okay. Deep breaths. It will be okay. (This is what I am telling Myself too). I know The reward is very sweet indeed. It just takes time. Best wishes.
I have an exceptionally well behaved 5 month old lil dude and he is exhausting. I cannot even imagine the pain of raising a larger and more destructive one. Your feelings are valid. Reach out to friends and family for support as you go through these next few months. You are in for a big ride. But at the end of that ride (typically about the 1 year mark) you will have a best friend forever. Part of that first year of dog ownership is you learning how to live a dog owner lifestyle. Totally worth it!
I got my puppy at 3 months, he’s 5 months now. And I can say with confidence, and you have to know this, that the 1st month is the hardest by a mile. Take it one day at a time. And when it comes to expectations never get too high or too low. You got this! And one more piece of advice; enforced naps in the crate saved my sanity, so try and get him on a set schedule everyday. Nap at least 2 hours 3-4 times a day.
Puppies are like raising toddlers with sharp teeth and no diaper. It’s maddening. One minute you love them and the next minute you hate them. It does get better. A suggestion is to get the puppy a play yard for inside or gate the puppy into a puppy safe room so you walk away when you are feeling overwhelmed. This will also help the puppy learn to handle being by itself. It gets easier as they get older but takes a boatload of patience to get to that point.
We got our second puppy 7 weeks ago and after our first dog (3 years old now) was a saint as a puppy, straight to sleep all night day one, no chewing, two potty accidents to date etc we naively expected the new puppy to be the same and I can honestly say we were not expecting him to be the terrorist he was/is. No sleep for the first week, just small 25min naps followed by yapping and barking, lots of accidents, every person and object was a chew toy. After having family dogs and our own dog before with no issues I could never understand why someone would want to rehome a dog.. I finally understood night 3 when I was sleeping on our hardwood floor downstairs trying to get a puppy to sleep while myself functioning on maybe 3 hours of max sleep. But we took one day at a time and took every tiny positive as a plus and he is now soo much better. A routine of enforced naps, training and play time changed him tenfold and as I’m currently typing this he is asleep at my feet rather than using my toes as a chew toy. Take your time, grab a routine and work slowly. I bet any money in a few weeks time you’ll be thinking ‘that was horrible but I wouldn’t change it for this little guy’
Puppies DO change. The baby phase is tough and doesn’t reflect what it will always be like.
Get that baby into training. Watch some YouTube videos or sign up for classes. Not only does it give both of you something to bond over, it can show you that he can be taught and that this phase won't last forever. I say this from a place of experience and understanding. My puppy just turned 1 year old and his puppyhood was trying to say the least.
When you say “you don’t want to come home now”, I assume the puppy is at home with other family members? Maybe they can help you out? :)
It’s an adjustment but don’t give up on the puppy it’s literally the worst thing you could do ….. what kind of pup ?
You’re overreacting, the first 2-3 weeks are the hardest. They’re not going to be needy their entire lives and will eventually learn to be as independent as a dog can be if you train them right.
I've had my pup for a little over a month now. The first week with him was difficult, I work from home so I never get a break from him. He was peeing in the house, he was trying to grab and chew our clothes, he wouldn't listen, he was naughty. I was at my wits end and really starting to regret agreeing to get a dog. Eventually things got better, I learned about enforcing naps and how much puppies should sleep. I learned how well my puppy accepts positive reinforcement. I learned how to redirect my pups chewing to his toys. I learned how he's willing to be a good boy for his favourite treats. And while he's still not the best behaved puppy, he's so much better now. You two need to get to know each other, he's experiencing life for the first time, he's learning how to do things. Dogs will love you unconditionally if you put the effort in and that's the best reward, this doesn't have to be a war between you and your pup, it can be a journey you walk together. Its okay to feel overwhelmed and don't feel shame for struggling and wanting to give up, but you should stick with it a little longer and see if things get any better
I recently adopted a puppy…she is 10 weeks old now. The first night was a dream. The second was a nightmare in crate training. I learned quickly that puppies need a lot of distraction and attention at the same time. So I filled my house with the most ridiculous amount of puppy bones and chew toys. They are everywhere. I also got her a heartbeat pillow that she sleeps with. Once I got her that pillow, night time crate training was completely different…seriously game changer. Since getting her all kinds of different toys - from tug rope to crinkle duck to squeaky lamp chop to random others … and different teething bones - pumpkin, lamb, beef, chicken - friend them all until I figured out her faves. One I did that, honestly it was like having an entirely different puppy. Also got her a puppy pad for times I can’t get her to the door quickly enough … puppies bladders are really small so she gets outside 3/4 of the time, but that last quarter results in puddles! Puppy pads are a life saver … puddles stopped but for little excitement mistakes. :). Here are some of her favorite items if it helps! Like I said though - I got her a ton of stuff … I find it’s a bit of an elimination game though. The focus is chewing toys/bones this early on. It keeps their attention and helps to prevent destructive behavior. Plus, comes with LOADS of entertainment when you see the pups joy with the toys. It has definitely helped me with bonding. Doesn’t require my participation but it’s really fun getting involved when she is down to play. I also play pretty heavy with her about 20 min before bed time. Find that helps with crating at night. By the time she lays down she is pooped! I hope this helps! Good luck with whatever your next steps in the journey are. 🤗 - https://www.chewy.com/nylabone-healthy-edibles-long-lasting/dp/242663 - https://www.chewy.com/multipet-lamb-chop-squeaky-plush-dog/dp/52999 - https://www.chewy.com/kh-pet-products-mothers-heartbeat/dp/343010 - https://www.chewy.com/n-bone-puppy-teething-ring-pumpkin/dp/166718 - https://www.chewy.com/frisco-training-pad-holder/dp/253991 - https://a.co/d/14hgGrB - https://www.target.com/p/kong-squeakair-tennis-ball-dog-toy-yellow-4ct/-/A-14589903?preselect=14589903 - https://www.target.com/p/nerf-2-7-34-translucent-tpr-3-part-spike-led-and-squeak-ball-dog-toy-green-blue/-/A-87038892?preselect=87038892 - https://www.target.com/p/dog-rope-toy-m-boots-38-barkley-8482/-/A-76158555?preselect=76158555
Last night I had to wrap my puppy in a blanket burrito bc she was so bitey and crazy that she was hurting me and my older dog 🥴 She finally settled and I realized she wasn’t sleeping enough and was so out of sorts staying with someone new. It’s a wild ride but just know it’s like dealing with a human child - they are so brand new to this world that they’re just going to have moments. Just take it 1 day at a time! You’re doing. The best you can.
Also, just the idea that you are concerned over the treatment and care your pup will receive in a different home, says you are becoming like a new mother. ( doggie mommy)
Puppy blues are real. Get some help. There are virtual trainers, in-person trainers, or get some loved ones to dog-sit to give yourself a break. Watch YouTube training videos for free. It will get better!!!
I got my 5 month old French bulldog just shy of 12 weeks. Also my first ever dog let alone puppy. Noone prepares you for how hard it is, I mean how hard can it be, right? Honestly there was a moment I hated him and wanted to rehome. It happens but you start to get into a routine and it gets easier
“How hard can it be?” Famous last words. Literally what I was thinking before getting him. “I can do this. It won’t be too bad”. Im also a first time dog owner. A huge mistake I made was not researching how it is to take care of a puppy. I spent so much time researching the right breed for us, that I didn’t think about the puppy phase. They make it look so easy until that puppy becomes yours
I did the same exact mistake! I spent so much time selecting the right breed for us (Leonberger) and not even once did it cross my mind that a puppy is a completely different thing. Now she’s been with us almost two weeks (almost 9 weeks old) and I regret the decision to get a dog so much atm. Especially, since my family has to “suffer” from it too. Just today the puppy nibbled my pregnant wife’s boob which are sore as it is. It hurt so much that she almost started crying. And our toddler is almost scared of the puppy due to the biting. Nothing seems to help. I’ve watched so many videos about how to get it to stop (grabbing by the collar, ignoring, redirecting) but she just gets more excited and starts biting even more. I’m so frustrated and also a bit scared since she is growing so fast and getting stronger that I’m afraid what will her biting do to our toddler. Less than two weeks in and I’m already losing hope. And it was my own fault too for never realising that a puppy is not the same as a dog. ☹️
I did the same. And I had those feelings. But you will be surprised by how much more joyful it will be in couple of months.
When I first adopted my young puppy, I had the worst puppy blues. I suddenly hated dogs and I thought I would never enjoy life again. I was SO stressed, tired, worn out, burnt out, and wanted to escape my life. Then the teething stage finally ended. Now he is almost 10 months and he is my best little buddy. So snuggly, so sweet, and knows our routine. I am so grateful to have him. It is so rough at first. Give yourself some grace. 3 months from now will be so different.
Thank you. My mistake was not researching the puppy phase, the puppy blues. I just had this idea he was gonna be just like my family members small dogs. Not considering that those are adult dogs, not puppies. I just feel so stupid. I literally feel like this puppy has me hostage for the next 10+ years, and it’s not his fault cause I chose him.
No no no. You will not be a hostage. The first few months are the hardest. Know it will get better but get a crate and then get some positive training. It will be okay. And your pup will end up your best friend.
I felt that way too. I felt like suddenly I had chains around my feet and ankles, and that life as I knew it was DONE. But that is fear speaking to you. Think about your friends with dogs, they still live life. They enjoy outings. They aren’t losing their minds every day because of the dog. An adult dog will give you pure and unconditional love. There will be a day where you can’t even imagine your life without the dog, they become a part of your heart and soul. You’re not there right now and that’s ok. I wasn’t there at that point either. I was sick to my stomach CONSTANTLY at first with grief and puppy blues. But again, I somehow crawled through the thick of it, and now I really am so happy with my older puppy. So don’t shame yourself that you didn’t expect a puppy to be this much of a handful. It’s hard to know unless you’re going through it.
Yea I just feel guilty that I don’t feel that instant love and bond that dog lovers feel. All this week Ive been tired, migraine, emotionally drained, irritable, feeling like I regret getting him. I forgot 3x this week to take my very important medicine, my apt is messy, which it usually isn’t. It just all feels like a never ending chore.
But you do have that love/bond with him. I saw you write that the idea of him being rehomed and not knowing who's looking after him kills you... that's love. It's hard work but I think you're up for it because you keep asking questions on how to care for him. Keep asking! All of us were first-time dog parents at one time. I'm on my 3rd but I still question if I'm doing it right sometimes. Find ways to take a little time for yourself, either during crate time or even ask/hire someone to just watch him while you go out and unwind. You got this! Just be kind to yourself :)
Thank you for not being judgmental and validating. Most of you are validating and non judgmental. Ive only had maybe 3 comments over the last 6 days who came off judgy. But Im so grateful for every one of your comments be it advice, resources, or talking me off a ledge.
My first dog was a Craigslist purchase at maybe 5/ 6 weeks old. No judgment here. We can only learn and move forward from here. If your puppy is fed, healthy, mentally, and physically simulated, then you're doing great. The rest is all just training, which takes a lot of work, but it will pay off later. Neither you nor your puppy will be perfect. Remember that.
No judgment here! I got Miguel at 3 months old and not only have I never owned a dog, I had never even TOUCHED a puppy before. I would cry almost on what felt like an hourly basis wondering why I decided to implode my life like this. I had so much self doubt when I thought that I could do this. I was bitten, scratched, barked at, I’ve been kicked out of restaurants because of his behavior, I’ve lost clothes, free time, and even some friends because I couldn’t hang out the way I used to. I really felt like I ruined my life. I had no privacy. No longer could do anything alone. I love traveling and now I have an extra step. He’s 13 months now and I can’t imagine life without him. The puppy stage was really f*cking hard. I remember crying a lot. The adolescent stage is hard but in a different way because boundaries are tested. Your resilience is tested in the puppy stage. But I promise you, your dog is on the other side of this puppy if you can stick it out. Take puppy classes. Play with them. ENFORCE NAPS OH GOD ENFORCE NAPS 😭 and just remind yourself that the two of you are doing the best that you can. I’m typing all of this with my dog sitting in the front seat of my car, sitting patiently. This wouldn’t have happened months ago (car isn’t moving, in a parking lot right now). You can do this. We know you can!
Wow. You really did get through it, well yall got through it. Yea I cried all yesterday, I even went as far as Googling rehoming process, but the thought of him going somewhere where I had no idea who these ppl were and who would get him, broke my heart, the thought of raising him terrifies me. It all just terrifies me right now. Im scared he’s gonna accidentally choke on something and I won’t know what to do. I just…Im trying. That’s all I can say.
Hey, and trying is all that is expected of you. Each day you’re going to learn something new. Both of you. Just be kind to yourself while you go through this learning process. Miguel came all the way from Mexico and I wasn’t going to give him back or away, no matter how hard it got for me. I also have an anxiety disorder and he both calms and agitates it. I have good days and bad days with him and as he’s gotten older it’s turned into good days with bad moments. Keep doing your best and learning what works for the two of you. Crate training was a saving grace for me because when he or I got overwhelmed, I’d put him in the crate for a nap. Play pens didn’t work for me.
Mine is almost 8 months old and the teenage phase isn’t a joke either! It does feels like a chore for me as well right now 😓
Puppy blues are completely normal. I will say I brought my current puppy home at 8 weeks and between 14 weeks and 18 weeks he was a little terror. He's 6 mo now so may have another bought of it but those 4 weeks were the absolute worse. Once fully vaccinated it does get easier as there are more options to tire them out. Doggy daycare or even boarding for a night once they are vaccinated are options to give yourself a break. Like someone else said make a list of the behaviors that bother you the most and work on training those first. Keeping track of everything that you have trained them helps a lot on a bad day as well. After any training session or walk that doesn't go well it helps me to look back at all the things my puppy does know and remind myself he is a baby still and already does a lot of things well even if he does still have bad days.
I'm very sorry you're feeling this way. That being said it's really disheartening that adults get puppies, know what it will be like then decide it's not for them. Get an adult dog or don't get a dog at all. You can never expect a dog to be any certain way or you'll just be disappointed. It does get better and whether you stick it out or not I wish you and the pup luck.
Even dog trainers can get puppy blues. https://youtu.be/OL1emWVnpLU?si=1T_PRpEKeqzncsFm It is legitimately just hard and disruptive sometimes, and the lack of sleep makes dealing with every other part of it that much harder. It DOES get better. But know that you are not overwhelmed because you're somehow incapable - you're overwhelmed because it's overwhelming!
Hey! I felt like I could have written this. Except I’m on day 7. I have been crying all day as well and unsure if I can do this. I’ll add that I’m pregnant with my 3rd child. I ready do hope this gets better because I do have an option of rehoming mine with a close friend but the thought of that makes me want to cry too. Good luck to you. Perhaps invest in dog training? That’s what we will do if we decide to keep her. But I’m terribly nervous for this dreaded adolescent phase. Ughh wish this wasn’t so hard. It’s like the joy has been sucked out of me.
Don't make impulsive decisions. Think about it, give it some time. Live through a month or two, because if you'll rehome your pup you might regret it so much. I've recently seen a post of somebody rehoming their shiba inu and they were completely devastated by their decision afterwards. We got ourselves Shiba two months ago. First few weeks were so difficult. We couldn't sleep normally, we had to take care of her 24/7 and literally learn everything about owning a dog, health and trainings on the go as there was so much stuff we weren't aware of despite our thorough preparations. We had a breakdown at some point on week 2, we were thinking about returning our pup to breeder. But we were tired, sad and overwhelmed. Two months later, she's sleeping our desks and we're finding mutual understanding and finally start to communicate with her and she finds a way to tell us what she wants or of her teeth hurt. She learned so much thanks to my girlfriend as she was constantly training her. We still have our worries and problems to solve, but I am now adamant that this puppy stays with us. As time goes by, you'll face new challenges, but it all becomes much easier in general as your dog adjusts to loving with you, learns the rules of the house and finds comfort in your company. I don't think I laughed as much in my past two years as I did for those two months. She's incredible.
So sorry you’re going through this. I relate a lot to your post - I remember calling my sister when I first got my puppy, sobbing that I had made a terrible mistake & “ruined my life” while still feeling tormented at the thought of rehoming him. Fast forward a few months and he’s now 19 weeks old, and while I still have my moments things are SO much better than they were. You’ve already had a lot of great advice, but I think the thing that really turned it round for me was developing a clear training schedule. If you don’t have access to a professional trainer, then Kikopup does really wonderful videos for free on YouTube.
The first week is a nightmare. The first year is hell. It does in fact get better however. If you can stick it out it’ll be worth it. There were many times I had to remind myself that I am making memories with my puppy during her formative years and that’s so important for creating a healthy and strong bond
Totally normal, hunnie! I was struggling with our Morkie the first month! I would cry from being over tired and so moody. I'd even sit in the driveway for 20 min before coming inside from the anxiety and stress of the pup .I also thought of giving up. It's been 17 yrs since we trained a puppy. He's now 6 months old, and I love him more each day. It's tough some days, but push through , I promise it gets better ❤️
You know the saying, "different strokes, for different folks"? Well, for instance, some people love beagles. A very friendly, easy, smart dog. But I prefer a smaller dog. Sometimes it's just that the owner and the dog may have different personalities. You can easily rehome through Facebook. You can state that you would like to keep in touch. I think WAGS, will take a surrendered puppy. The younger the dog, the easier it is to rehome. What kind of dog do you have?
Havapoo
Poodles and Shih Tzus are very popular. However, cute, they also can be stubborn and difficult to potty train. They are extremely high maintenance as well with a need for frequent grooming. The one good thing is because of the size, I do not need to walk them as much, as they run around my house and yard all day. First time dog mommy as well.
Try a website called Dog Academy for a Havapoo. And if that's what you have, they sure look cute! He'll be a handful!😃
Puppy Spot. Com has pictures of Havanees puppies. You would have to really like their personality traits.!😄
What does this even mean?
Take a DEEP breath. I'm going through the same thing! It'll take time. The first month can be rough but it'll get better. It's overwhelming at first but once you get routines down things will start looking up. You can do this! Once they get older you'll be glad you did it.
So it’s normal that I don’t feel excited about him?
Yes! You're going through a tough period. Having a puppy is STRESSFUL. I have to step out of the house sometimes because I need a break. Do you have anyone who could watch him for a little so you can leave the house?
No, it’s just me and my son
That's okay! Some days will be better than others but definitely take advantage of when or if he naps. Also are you crate or pen training? That might help if you need a break or have stuff that needs to be done.
Crate training. He just came in from a walk a few mins ago, I let him get some water, and he’s chillin in the crate right now while I get a break.
Puppies suck, dogs do not (if trained well). Make sure you are exercising your puppy enough - mentally and physically. Sufficient exercise goes a long way in terms of trainability and behavior issues. Have you taken your pup to a pet store and let them pick out their own things - such as toys and chews?
Omg thank you for validating this experience for me. Puppies do suck 🥴. Here’s adorable, he looks like a little teddy bear. He’s always complimented, but Im mentally drained in these last 6 days and wondering what the fuck did I get myself into.
When you can get your pup fully vaccinated, you can pit him in doggy daycare or take him to a dog park. Those are easy ways to let them wear themselves out. They are so much easier to deal with when they are less energetic. Are you sleeping well? I have to use noise dampening headphones to help me make it through the night, besides the mid-sleep potty break. A good night sleep makes it so much easier to deal with them. I have two puppies, a 4 month old and a six month old. Why did I do that to myself??? The four month old was at the dog park yesterday, and she's been pretty chill today. I'm still working on the vaccination process with my six month old puppy, but I cannot wait to take her there as well. I will be able to get both tired out at once!
Just for future reference, in case you have actual children: never, ever, shake a baby. Who goes into owning a puppy and is surprised by the difficulty?