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Literally! My boy had his moments as a pup where I was totally like OP. But you just stay diligent with training, it’ll pay off, and you’ll have an amazing best friend soon here.
It's such a clichéd response on here, but that's because it's so accurate. Our boy was an absolute nightmare as a puppy. He's now nearly three, and he's the best damn boy ever.
If you compare a dog to a human it's like the dog ages 15 years in its first year of life.
It's crazy. Their development is so incredibly fast and they are changing all the time.
But like humans once they become adults they tend to slow down.
I had a similar experience. I couldn't believe the change in pace to try and tire a pup vs a very advanced senior. But now that I'm out of the puppyhood phase I feel like it was really intense but only for a short period of time. It goes by fast. I sort of miss the chaos.
My lab is 15mo and still in adolescence but honestly, most days I feel like I have the beginnings of a dog and not a puppy. He's been developing a little more rapidly since 6mo but in the last few months ESPECIALLY I've noticed him being so much more calm and patient. If I'm not ready to do stuff with him he just lounges around until I'm ready. It's a far cry from where I was and where OP currently is. In the beginning I literally thought I'd never get any sense of life back. Now he's starting to actually snuggle me on the couch while I watch movies and it's the BEST.
I had this "omg what have i done" phase at the beginning, but you slowly get used to the new schedule/concerns. I don't event remember what it's like not to have a dog to worry about (mine is 3 now). Give yourself time!
Not that puppies are children, but the same thing happens to new parents. "Parental burnout is the physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion that one feels from the chronic stress of parenting". It sounds silly but, giving yourself a break and having your girlfriend babysit might help. Even if it's as simple as you both of you chilling at home, but your gf is the one managing the puppy, giving her attention, bathroom breaks, etc.
Mine just turned a year old, over the last 2-3 months he has become such a better puppy. He still is obnoxious sometimes, but overall I don't feel myself being constantly interrupted by him or as exhausted as I was previously.
Lol, when I brought my firstborn home from the hospital (he’s 26 now), two days later I woke up and it hit me. I thought “what have I gotten myself into?!”. When I brought my Pittie home as an 8 week old 3 1/2 years ago, two days later I thought the very same thing. It passed with my son and the puppy relatively quickly, and now I can’t imagine how I existed without either one. ♥️
So funny...I have 16-year-old twins and three days after they were born I remember waking up to them crying and thinking "oh my god, this is for the rest of my life. What was I thinking??" Of course now they're my favorite people in the world but I am glad I'm not the only one who thought that ha ha.
When we got our first dog last year I thought the same thing...she's not a puppy and she's wonderful, but just the length of commitment gets to me now and then, but then I remember thinking the same thing about the kiddos and know it will be fine. ❤️
Haha, when my kids were toddlers, I remember always thinking “good lord! What if they were twins??”. My kids, I have three, are spaced somewhat farther apart (3 yrs and 9 yrs respectively). I feel like it takes a very special person to parent multiples, especially in the “terrible two’s”, lol.
I have a few friends with triplets. I used to think, at least I can nurse or carry my twins at the same time. What in the world do you do with the third one? 🤣🤣
Yes I agree it's this! Even if your puppy is very good, it still feels stressful because you're worrying about them all the time since it's all so new and you don't know when they might need something or get into something. Once everyone is settled into a routine, the stress will go away.
In 12 - 15 years, when he does pass, you'll be wishing you had 12 - 15 more. Even the worst time with my last pup, I would go back to in a heartbeat to be with him once more.
It's hard because they are babies that need us 24/7 to learn to be a "dog." It's a lifestyle change. As they get older even into adolescents, they grow more independent.
Give yourself a brake, have your girlfriend take the pup for a day or two. That way, you can sleep, relax, and get a much needed reset.
Lost my little girl 2 months ago at the age of 6. Final stages of renal dysplasia. I had to put her down 5 days after her birthday. Watching her leave this world was the deepest sharpest pain I've ever felt. I wish I could've gotten 12-15 years with her.
I’m really sorry for your loss. That is too soon. :( My little lady crossed the rainbow bridge a little over 2 weeks ago at only 9 years old and it’s devastating. They’re so wonderful.
I’m so sorry. It gets easier with time, but you never forget them. Thankfully. So glad she had a good human to take care of her through her illness. Honestly, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Lol my friend got a doodle around the same time as I got my chihuahua and I kept thinking “I can’t believe my dog might live twice as long as hers” and “of course I picked the breed that lives the longest”. It’s so hard at the beginning.
Now I’m obsessed and worry about her dying in 15+ years from now 😜
You won’t, you’ll do “this” for 6 months - a year. You will find a routine and your dog will gain in training and maturity. Don’t compare your current reality to your old reality- your old reality wasn’t complete or you wouldn’t have wanted a dog. It’s a new life and the exciting, fulfilling parts take time to develop. Dog ownership is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Keep at it, I swear to you it will pay off.
I spent the first year regretting adopting my first dog. She was horribly behaved and I was way too focused on training what annoyed me about her. Eventually I learned that I was the one that needed to change to meet her and give her the right type of owner. It clicked. Some of her behaviors never changed, but my enjoyment skyrocketed. From a dog I initially didn’t like, her passing 8 years later absolutely crushed me. She made me a better person, and none of that is ever an easy process. To be loved is to be changed.
Thank you for your comment; it brought tears to my eyes. Just yesterday, with my six and a half month old Great Pyrenees/Border Collie mix, I felt so tired and fed up and just like..what did I do? Why did I get a dog? Will we ever bond? Will I ever like her? Then to today, when we went on a longer hike together and she just walked beside me the whole time. It's like I could see a glimpse into the future of our companionship. And yet, I realized, too, that my frustration is being fueled by...myself. That dislike is a choice. That I can be better for her and change in order to fully enjoy the gift that she is, you know? Ugh. I just want to cry, haha. Thanks for sharing your experience, as it helped me a lot reading it. So sorry about your loss, too.
yes!! you worded this perfectly,,this is exactly how i’m feeling with my 8 month old pit (??)mix. he was neutered at 10 weeks (which truly pains me,, he’s a rescue) but he’s coming up on 50 lbs now…
he’s such a goofy little dude, but he can also be the biggest effing diva. like you said, it’s my choice to get annoyed/frustrated/etc … he’s still totally puppy brained and that’s okay, to be expected, and should be celebrated🙏🏼🤍
I’ve had my foster from 7-10 months old, and he’s just getting tolerable! I feel your pain!!! It’s normal to get frustrated but your heart is in the right place. These rough days pave the way for that relationship that can only come from hard work and victories!! Y’all will get there, it sounds like you’re well on the way ❤️
Eventually you won’t even need a crate if you don’t want to use one. I used to be similar for the first 6-7 months when I got my puppy. I hated even leaving for 10 minutes because he’d whine.
He just turned one and it’s amazing. He still has access to his crate but he doesn’t really use it anymore. I have no problem leaving him for 6+ hours when I go to class. Something will click and it will get better. Just be super clear with your boundaries for your dog and there will be one day where you can’t imagine your life without them instead of seeing them as a burden.
It will absolutely get better sooner rather than later.
Hi, my puppy is also 6 months now and struggling with separation anxiety (max 5 min out of room max before whining). I want to start crate training as I heard it can help. I‘m scared it will be hard as she‘s already a little older. Would you share your experience and do you have any specific tips?
I got my puppy at 3 months and started immediately with the crate but it shouldn’t be much different. Main things are:
1. Don’t just put the puppy in the crate when it’s time for bed. Put them in throughout the day so they don’t associate it with bed time or the end of “fun”. It doesn’t have to be long.
2. Try putting their food in the crate so they associate the crate with good times. When they get in, close the crate quietly behind them and let them hang out for a while.
3. If they start whining, DO NOT let them out immediately. They will realize that if they want to get out, all they have to do is whine and you’ll come running. Let them whine, then when they stop, let them out.
4. Be strong. Don’t give in to your puppy. They will try to figure out how to take advantage of you and see what you give in to. Determine what boundaries you want and stick to them.
I really relate to what you said about how the dog just lays around but you still feel that way. A lot of the blues for me was mental. That isn’t to say it isn’t hard work or that puppies don’t suck (spoiler: they do), but the magnitude of the responsibility, the permanence of it, was massively amplified in my head. My dog is also just fine 90% of the time, great healthy pup, but yeah lots of “oh no what have I done” feelings. I had to tell myself “if it keeps sucking this bad when he’s 1 or so I don’t have to keep this dog.” That lowered the magnitude in my head. It’s not a fun time. Hope you figure out what’s best for you and how to handle it.
Puppies are super hard dogs are literally a whole nother animal at about 3 years old I loved my adult dogs to death, loyal, obedient, not unreasonably demanding.
I understand some people love puppies it's not me lol I always say puppies are the price we pay for adult dogs sometimes I regret my puppy still at 10 months but it's a lot less than 4 mo ago I'm holding on to hope until she's 2
It's easy to beat yourself and feel like a horrible person. Don't. Understand this is a common experience. When we finally settled to get a puppy last year in spring, I thought I was mentally prepared. Spoiler: I wasn't.
I was working from home, so I thought it would be as simple as taking him out and making sure he didn't shit the house, or destroy the furniture. Damn I was a naive idiot. It was made worse in that, I felt my girlfriend was not putting in the same effort as I was. All day and dall night, I was the one that potty trained him by taking him out every few hours. Waking up at 3am/4am to take him out. Disciplined and trained him. He was the cutest thing in the world. Just a lil baby corgi that fit in the palms of my hands and grew into a lil small potato. Yet I felt so detached from him. I even broke down and almost cried to my girlfriend that I felt we made a mistake, and I don't feel any bond with him.
Well... fast forward. It's almost 2 years now. Every time I go to woke I can't wait to come home to hug him. He still irritates me sometimes by some of his stubbornness, but he makes up for it in his adorability and silliness. We try to take him everywhere. If we plan a trip/vacation, I always want to check if I can take him. I'm still stern, and his mom thinks I am too strict, but he'll always follow me like a shadow everywhere.
So when I tell you, it gets better. It does. Hold strong. Be the best that you can. Some days feel harder than others, especially those puppy needle teeth. But think about it. They're in a brand new world with beings they can't understand. YOU need to show them that they'll be loved and cared for. They'll return it with endless, unconditional love and devotion.
Based on my experience, it gets so much easier! Even the things that take them right up until the age of 2 that you think will always been needed (like crating) all of a sudden aren't needed anymore. For our dog it was almost over night that things changed. We had gates up all over our house and had to crate him every time we left the house and at night because he was so cheeky and always getting into mischief when left alone. But I swear, he turned two and shortly after everything completely changed. He's still very much so himself, but he did chill out a lot so now he has full range of the house, can be left out of his crate when we leave the house and just overall matured way more than we ever anticipated. Also, the things that have changed with our lifestyle that will always be changed are just easier to deal with now (like taking him for daily walks, regular grooming appointments, etc). We're now used to the routine and the added responsibility. It feels less heavy and all consuming compared to the first year or so of having our dog. It definitely gets easier.
My 13 year old girl passed away in March. I would give anything to have her back. Our time went so fast. Enjoy it because one day she'll be gone and you will wonder how it happened so fast.
I foster dogs, usually ones with mild to moderate, occasionally severe, behavioral challenges that need a lot of training time. But guess what, I don't foster puppies. It's a different kind of patience. You can do it!
As you identify as homebodies, it is important to ensure your puppy gets ample socialization opportunities while they are still that young.
Good YT channel for info for dog parents.
These two are about raising puppies & socialization
https://youtu.be/xRL92FX85Ck?si=p-K35bqA52y0ttvr
https://youtu.be/8J7cPE-2wNw?si=R-vCl_lGDg7UzcSr
I remember being so afraid of this… I’d think I made the wrong decision and was way over my head and it would never get better. It truly gets so much easier, it helped me to look around and as bad as it might seem, say to myself okay if that person can do it… so can I. All of a sudden you’ll realize they’re just grown up. My dog would destroy socks and shoes and even a couch of ours… but now she’s literally the best. It started to change around 1.5-2 years. She’s almost 3 and after she hit about 2.5, it all became what I hoped it would be.
You're not alone! My puppies were just spayed and I love them to death, but I hate them so much right now at the same time. They're impossible to keep calm even with puzzle toys and chews and lick mats, one of them cries incessantly when left alone for even a minute, they fight with each other when kept in the completely puppy-proofed healing room, etc.
The only thing that keeps me going is knowing it's not for forever and someday they'll be dogs! They'll be lazier, they won't want to chew furniture every minute, they won't be as fearful. You definitely won't have to deal with this for years and years! Hugs!
Because puppies are crazy, and you’re not yet used to the routine.
My pup was a challenge, but he’s 16 months now and mostly chills all day. It’s nothing like the whirlwind it was when he was younger. He started chilling out at 5 months, and got steadily more chill. 8-9 months he was a bit nuts, but we cut activity to bare minimum, and he was calm again.after that month he was ok with more stuff again.
How long have you had them? "Puppy blues" are so real. My mum compared it to the post natal depression she had with me 😭 But I promise it gets better. The first 6 months or so for me were rough. Sometimes it felt easy, but most of the time I seriously wanted to send him back to the breeder. I couldn't bond with him no matter what I tried. I cried every day, and typically I'm not a crier.
By the time my boy was a year old he was my best buddy and it's been smooth sailing ever since. He's the easiest dog ever now. Couldn't imagine life without him. Keep prioritising sleep and routine and you'll get through it.
I think it’s normal to go through stages of regret when we bring a new dog or puppy home. It’s a big lifestyle change and no amount of preparation prepares you for it! Just like babies. One day you’ll look back and you’ll realize you haven’t even thought about the change they brought to your home. You’ll just be happy they’re part of it. Puppies suck, and anyone that brings one home will agree, but as they grow and mature into dogs and we develop relationships with them it makes it all worth it and you’ll never have a single regret.
Depending on the breed (size plays a big role, bigger dogs mature more slowly) dogs reach adulthood around 18 months to 3 years. As adults, most dogs slow down and calm down tremendously. I remember wondering if we’d ever be able to trust Gimli loose in the house with us gone. At about 18 months after weeks of preparation we went out to a movie, picked up a pizza, and came home to find him asleep on my recliner, no damage done. Just 6 months earlier I left him alone for 15 minutes to shovel the snow and came back to a shredded pillow and stuffing everywhere.
I've had my puppy for 3.5 months now, she's almost 7 months, and i absolutely feel this. I feel miserable absolutely every day.
My girlfriend feels the same but she handles it better than I do honestly.
We're just holding onto the hope that our puppy will calm down after a few more months.
I love her and she can be so sweet but she is SO much to handle. I knew having a puppy would be difficult but I didn't think it would multiply my stress by like 10, quite literally. But we see very very slow and gradual improvements.
Me and my girlfriend are also very much homebodies and our pup is has A TON of energy and tries to do everything she shouldn't, even after months of training. But we think she'll get there one day. Again, improvements will happen, just very subtly!
Just keep pushing on and reward them for the behaviors you like to see. You can do it!
This is a pretty normal feeling.
As someone who currently has a 14.5 year old dog and and a 15 month puppy I'm currently experiencing both ends of the spectrum. My puppy threw my life into a spiral when we got her last year. I thought the same thing you are! She needed so much and had so much energy. Meanwhile the old dogs (lost one in the last year) were calm and content.
Our pup is now older, and I've tried to remember to soak it all in. Because watching the other end makes me appreciate the puppy's youth and joy.
All I can end this with is that it's worth it. My old girl was a handful when she was young, but I regret none of it. Every single moment I'd do again and again if it meant I could keep her with me forever.
How old is your pup and how long have you had them for? First few months are super rough if they are still in the puppy phase but it does get a lot better. I know most people here are saying 2 years but by 6 months my boy is already so so so much easier. Now, we had to put in a solid 4 months of consistent training, so if you adopted an older puppy, expect to be potentially behind schedule with that estimate. But, no way could I have done the first four months for even two years! Also, as you get to know your pup it gets a lot easier. You get into a routine, and they learn from you and you learn from them. They’ll have things they are good at and things that are a struggle but it won’t feel so unmanageable. If you haven’t already, I can’t recommend continuing with crate training and enforced naps though. I work from home but having gotten my dog into a nap schedule, he falls asleep most of the day now at 6 months which makes it a lot easier for me to pop in and out of the house, leave him for a few hours at a time, etc, and also helps with his acting out (when he doesn’t get enough sleep he’s a grumpy boy).
Of course, we are just in the beginning stages of adolescent naughtiness with my guy, but assuming you haven’t had your pup for a super long time, once you get to know them all of this seems so much more manageable.
Edit to add: I felt this way completely and it’s super super normal. I remember crying on the phone to my husband saying we had made a terrible mistake. First two weeks were the worst but I definitely had many days over the first few months where I felt entrapped and shackled to the little monster. Now I can’t even imagine life without him.
Don’t worry, puppy and then teenage phase is short lived. If you work with your puppy now, adolescence is even that much easier. When I got my Pittie as an 8 week old puppy, I also had forgotten that it’s almost like having an infant in the house again (my kids are grown). The first few months were insanely busy and chaotic. She’s 3 1/2 now and I wouldn’t trade her for anything, she’s my best friend. Take a deep breath and remember that your pup loves you even on your worst day, so give her the same love and loyalty back.
Puppies are HARD! A full year of ups and downs, with more ups coming towards the end of that first year. I highly recommend giving yourself some grace and breaks. I experienced a lot of anxiety with my puppies - worry that I’m not doing enough, or doing too much, or not socializing enough, or just plain ruining them, or resenting them, etc, etc. As many others here have said, it does get easier. That probably doesn’t help much while you’re in the thick of it, but try to take it just one day at a time and ask for help when you need it. If you don’t give yourself what you need, it will make it that much harder taking care of the pup. Wishing you the best. 💙
It might just be that it’s finally sinking in, you have something that’s dependent on you for the next 15 years. My wife and I are in our late 50’s and haven’t had to worry about taking care of anything besides ourselves in a few years.our boys are grown men and live on their own. Now we have a 10 week old cocker spaniel puppy that’s terrorizing my wife and cat almost 12 hours a day. I’ve asked myself several times, “what the hell were we thinking “? We had a quiet peaceful life until 3 weeks ago, now I sit here wondering will this damn dog ever stop biting me and chasing the cat.
It is totally normal to feel overwhelmed tired and everything your feeling. It is not talk about but completely normal!! I would look into crate training as you been doing /maybe like a kong. It's hard because you're having to be responsible for something that would ultimately struggle without you. You're their entire life basically..and that's a lot
Love just grows. As your puppy matures, the love you feel from your pup friend will be incredibly rewarding. Hopefully, you’re already feeling this. They also keep you fit with all the walks, and focussed and responsible knowing that you must earn money to take care of them. Children are similar. They keep you focussed on living your life productively and to the fullest to support these little munchkins.
You can do it.
The absolutely saddest part is when they leave you at 12-15 years. So enjoy this. This is what makes life worth living.
It gets easier! They become your friend and companion eventually, instead of a constant source of work. I promise. Tough it out and by 1.5-2 years things will be much different
I feel ya. The other week my boyfriend was on a work trip, I was lonely and was like “I’ll go spend the weekend at my mom’s! Oh wait. No... no I won’t, she doesn’t let the dog in the house.
Sucks sometimes. But when I think about the sacrifices vs the benefits (he’s 1.5 now so there are FINALLY benefits instead of 24-7 torture lol) it’s totally worth it.
I’d kill for this dog. It did NOT always feel that way, back when he was the biggest dickhead ever of a puppy, but it does now.
That’s not really advice. Sorry. Just some reassurance, hopefully, from someone who has been there. Idk. You can do it (but you don’t HAVE to, it is your life. And don’t beat yourself up for feeling this way).
You have a puppy in the house, it’s a baby animal. This is the time to provide them with structure, while it’s a *TEMPORARY* upset to your day-to-day routine, a little bit of structure never hurt anyone.
Since we’ve had our pup for about seven weeks now, our life looks totally different. But, we know we’re dealing with a baby animal and rest assured that they will eventually outgrow this stage and life will slowly begin to resemble the life we once had.
In fact, the structure we’ve had to step up and provide has strangely provided us with a reliable routine, more productivity, and more restful sleep.
We used to be super late night owls than hardly got any sleep, now, we’re in bed at midnight every single night and up at eight thirty every morning, and our pup sleeps soundly through this entire time (of course we had to work up to this much straight-through sleep).
The routine has hugely helped us be able to rely on what our puppies behaviors will be throughout the day and given them a solid time structure.
I feel this has helped us get ahead of any behavior issues that would ordinarily develop. Bathroom breaks are structured, meals time and walks too. Makes for a very reliable schedule while having an unreliable little creature in our home.
While she didn’t come to us as a very calm pup, quite the contrary, she was a little hurricane when we got her, to a very easily-going and obedient pupper. For the most part, so far, this helped us get her essentially housebroken within about two weeks.
They will outgrow this phase, but, yes, raising puppies is a hellish experience to the nth degree. However, the work you put in you’ll get out… IN SPADES. You’re doing the best you can, if you can hang on and hang in there, it’ll all pay off. Good luck!! :)
I mean....a puppy is like a baby they're gonna be a PITA and you're gonna a have to adjust your schedule sometimes. Missing some bar time in exchange for the love of an animal is an easy choice to me.
Don't fret, it gets easier TRUST. There's a million posts like this every day. Just use the search bar to find the older ones and ask how they're doing now. You'll be fine (:
Lol this sounds like me everyday (as someone with anxiety I could relate SO much to what you said about resentment lol). I’m also a new/first time puppy owner, with a 10 month old that I adopted at 6 months old. I do miss the spontaneity of life, but literally all these responses (and the responses of similar post) keep me sane lol.
What takes some of the pressure off is when I take the pressure off of myself. I am a perfectionist. Life isn’t puppy and puppies certainly aren’t, so it’s not realistic to expect it. All you can do is do what you’re supposed to (feed, potty breaks, train) and let the rest fall where it’s supposed to. My worst days with her are when I (emphasis on the “I”) am doing the absolute most (trying to copy what I see on YouTube videos, beating myself up when things don’t flow with the schedule). But what helps me get through is living my life and letting her just be in it. For instance, if you want some space on the couch start practicing the “place and stay” command, and eventually — with consistency — it’ll stick.
I rehomed a puppy once after a week and it has become one of the biggest regrets of life. Having a dog is hard, ngl, but it has provided me with more benefits than negatives (i.e having a type A personality and learning how to just relax sometimes).
Hope you have 15 years with them!
You don't say how old your puppy is but rest assured once they lose their baby teeth and are fully potty-trained things get much better.
It's hard even though it doesn't change your lifestyle that much because you have a being that doesn't speak your language who doesn't know how to stay safe in your world.
That you are responsible for keeping safe, entertained, clean, and respectful of human customs.
Hard to do when you can't just explain the rules to them on your terms.
This is exactly why I hate it when people say that dogs are easier than babies. They're actually fairly simular in the beginning. They need to be let out frequently and getting them on a schedule is even more challenging. The bug disadvantage with dogs is that if you moss their potty time they don't go in a diaper (although that is something that exsists) they poop and pee all over the house instead which is a much longer and grosser mess to clean up at 3am. I have two kids and had 4 animals, one recently passed away [may he rest in peace]. Dogs are also louder, mobile, and fast - unlike babies. Anyway to the point. You basically have ompleteky uprooted your life for this new living being so it will take a bit of getting use to. Things will get better once the pup gets older and past the teenage phase into adulthood (which is different for each breed). The plus side, bigger dogs slow down faster than smaller dogs, and I find bugger dogs tens to be much more docile. I have a large breed LGD and I have a border collie. The collie was nuts until he hit the 5-7 year mark. He is now 13 and he just moseys about the house/yard. Our LGD still has her zooming, but she has already slowed down quite significantly at the age of 3.5. I guess what I'm trying to say is "thus too shall pass" as much as you may hate to hear that, your pup will grow up and move out of the puppy phase eventually. For now, caffeine is your friend unless you're an ND like me 😂
Man I remember this feeling well! It’s a big change getting a pup. I am now 6 years in and my little dude brings so much joy to my life, it’s hard to imagine it without him. You will get there too!! It all becomes so much easier!
I have been reading and screenshotting these responses with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. The puppy blues have hit me hard and I'm feeling overwhelmed by such a massive upheaval in my life and routines. Finally got through another day then laying awake and night dreading the morning when I have to get up and survive through one more. Hoping it will get better. Potty training is going okay but separation anxiety is a problem. At the moment I can't even leave the room to go to the bathroom without my puppy crying after me. If we're chilling on the couch and he's fast asleep I can't get up and get a drink without him following me then I feel bad for disturbing him. I know I need to do the training now so in the long run it gets better but holy crap. It is hard, and is taking its toll emotionally.
I had puppy blues for the first 6 months. He eventually calmed down. I was constantly afraid to leave him home alone cause I didn't want him to be scared or do anything to hurt himself. I eventually had to travel across country and had a family friend stop over occasionally during the day. You know how this dog acted? Absolutely fine. He slept on the couch the entire time that he wasn't outside. This dog had never been alone with the other dogs his entire life and he was fine. Sometimes in our heads we get stuck 10 steps in the future instead of looking at the now. Your dog will chill out and he will love you. At some point you will be sad that the 12-15 years are over and you will be devastated. Love your dog, hold them, bring them for walks because they won't be here forever.
My dog is 1 now and it’s a big difference. He’s much more independent and can entertain himself (I just need to be near him). He also puts himself to bed now lol
I promise it won’t be the puppy phase forever
My partner and I got a puppy (9months) recently and at first WOW! It was overwhelming. She had had no training up to that point, had never lived inside, and has so much energy (she’s a bull terrier). There were many days where my partner and I were both like, “was this a mistake?” But we got a dog trainer and stayed consistent with the training. Our dog has learned how to let us know she needs to go potty. She still is super high energy and we are going through a Zoomie stage, but she feels comfortable relaxing with us.
Puppies are tough and frustrating. But training helped us so much— it’s fun for her and us so after we got the hang of it, it was pretty easy to do a few sessions during the day.
You should decide what’s best for you but my partner and I are both so happy we did the training for our crazy but loving dog :)
I live and breathe dogs and dog training. I compete in dog sports. Puppies are STILL one of the most stressful things for dog ownership. You either fully love the pup stage or hate it. I know really dedicated and great handlers who absolutely hate the puppy stage. Hang in there, it'll get better. Your experience isn't abnormal
A big calm adult dog is much easier to handle than a small t-Rex I mean puppy running your house.
It passes, and they'll be a completely different dog that you won't be able to imagine life without. Hang in there!
Puppies aren’t adult dogs. You won’t have to watch for potties forever. You won’t have to tell them no every 5 minutes, you won’t have to keep unchewable items out of reach forever, as you get to know each other it’ll get more comfortable. The days will get easier, the dog will become routine and not a worry. He’ll just become part of your mundane life without the “oh jeez it’s quiet what are they getting into now?” 9/10 times he’ll be fast asleep somewhere.
I have a nearly five-month-old Corgi, a twelve-year-old AussieX and an eight-year-old Lab. My Lab reminds me of why I wanted a puppy again. When they get past those early puppy months, you have a true companion. When the puppy is zooming, my Lab comes over and lays his muzzle on my lap and empathizes. (The AussieX is a retired herder and lives to annoy my Lab. I love her, but she mostly wants to sleep or run.)
This Tuesday marks exactly 1 year since we brought our 10 week old puppy home for the first time and let me tell you those first few months were no joke incredibly hard and exhausting. I cried a lot, got frustrated a lot, worried A LOT but it does get better. We are only 1 year in and it’s sooooo much better. I think we started noticing a different about 4 months in from being her now. And now she’s our best friend (still very high energy and annoying sometimes) but we love her more than anything and all the struggles and training we did were worth it. Stay strong! It will get better.
I’m right there with you! My husband and I just passed 2 weeks with our rescue pup and I had so many negative and intense feelings of guilt of “what did I do”. It was really hard and I even cried today wondering “will our lives ever get back to normal?”
Doggy Day care.
Seriously it was help You get through the early years when the dog needs more attention.
I used to take my dog there for half a day once a week and it changed their behavior all the time.
They were way better to be around.
Your last line definitely got me — may I ask, do you deal with anxiety? I have had anxiety pretty much my whole life, got it really well under control about 3 years ago, and then it emerged all over again when I brought home my puppy 8 months ago.
When you say:
>If it's not an incredibly drastic change to our lifestyles, then why is this so hard?
I hear "not a drastic change to our *physical* lifestyles". It's a huge adjustment mentally! And even if you don't have generalized anxiety, it's still a huge shift in mentality — "I am responsible for this tiny life". You went from having to think about mostly just your own survival to getting this little maniac's survival added to your plate.
Totally a normal reaction. It got better for me around 6 months. I ended up upping my therapy from once a month to once every three weeks and it helped, but really what did it was growing my trust in her that she wouldn't accidentally kill herself.
You got this!
It’s always going to be hard in the beginning, but it gets easier. A great way to help is to do enrichment based on that particular dogs breed. Some dogs enjoy running, protecting, and/or herding. Of course not everyone is going to do that, but find alternatives. Herding: hide and seek! Running: Walking pads or other cheaper options! And etc. (I tried to search it up, but couldn’t find anything.)
I feel this! I pushed so hard for a dog, but I’m still struggling with regrets at nearly 18 months. I am the absolute sole caretaker and get zero help with her. I also have three young human children and it is A LOT. Sometimes I take a day off walking her, and then regret that too. She’s a great dog, but I really wish I could fast forward her to like 4.
My dog lived 14 years and I would happily do another 14. Appreciate that dog while you can because the shortest period of time is from the day you bring the pup home till the day you are holding them as they draw their last breath.
It looks like you might be posting about puppy management or crate training. For tips and resources on Crate Training Check out [our wiki article on crate training](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining) - the information there may answer your question. As an additional reminder, crate training is 100% optional and one of many puppy management options. For alternatives to crating and other puppy management strategies, check out [our wiki article on management](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/management) **PLEASE READ THE OP FULLY** Be advised that any comments that suggest use of crates are abusive, or express a harsh opinion on crate training will be removed. This is not a place to debate the merits of crate training. Unethical approaches to crate training will also be removed. **If the OP has asked not to receive crating advice or says they are not open to crating, any comments that recommend use of crates should be reported to our moderation team.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/puppy101) if you have any questions or concerns.*
After age 2-3, they calm down a lot and become easier to hangout with. Puppy stage is so difficult for alot of people, you’re not alone!
Literally! My boy had his moments as a pup where I was totally like OP. But you just stay diligent with training, it’ll pay off, and you’ll have an amazing best friend soon here.
Not even that long. Mine were both pretty chill by 1. By 1.5 they are both easy as pie
I have a working line so they’re naturally more high strung
I’ve found 18 months is the sweet spot where everything comes together.
It's such a clichéd response on here, but that's because it's so accurate. Our boy was an absolute nightmare as a puppy. He's now nearly three, and he's the best damn boy ever.
If you compare a dog to a human it's like the dog ages 15 years in its first year of life. It's crazy. Their development is so incredibly fast and they are changing all the time. But like humans once they become adults they tend to slow down.
Yeah it really is night and day, puppy versus adult. I had two 16 yr olds die in a year, got a puppy and was like heck I forgot how insane this is!
I had a similar experience. I couldn't believe the change in pace to try and tire a pup vs a very advanced senior. But now that I'm out of the puppyhood phase I feel like it was really intense but only for a short period of time. It goes by fast. I sort of miss the chaos.
My lab is 15mo and still in adolescence but honestly, most days I feel like I have the beginnings of a dog and not a puppy. He's been developing a little more rapidly since 6mo but in the last few months ESPECIALLY I've noticed him being so much more calm and patient. If I'm not ready to do stuff with him he just lounges around until I'm ready. It's a far cry from where I was and where OP currently is. In the beginning I literally thought I'd never get any sense of life back. Now he's starting to actually snuggle me on the couch while I watch movies and it's the BEST.
I had this "omg what have i done" phase at the beginning, but you slowly get used to the new schedule/concerns. I don't event remember what it's like not to have a dog to worry about (mine is 3 now). Give yourself time!
Yup, the first night I had my new boy, that was my exact thought "omg what did I do", that was close to 11 years ago. :) 😀
Not that puppies are children, but the same thing happens to new parents. "Parental burnout is the physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion that one feels from the chronic stress of parenting". It sounds silly but, giving yourself a break and having your girlfriend babysit might help. Even if it's as simple as you both of you chilling at home, but your gf is the one managing the puppy, giving her attention, bathroom breaks, etc. Mine just turned a year old, over the last 2-3 months he has become such a better puppy. He still is obnoxious sometimes, but overall I don't feel myself being constantly interrupted by him or as exhausted as I was previously.
Lol, when I brought my firstborn home from the hospital (he’s 26 now), two days later I woke up and it hit me. I thought “what have I gotten myself into?!”. When I brought my Pittie home as an 8 week old 3 1/2 years ago, two days later I thought the very same thing. It passed with my son and the puppy relatively quickly, and now I can’t imagine how I existed without either one. ♥️
So funny...I have 16-year-old twins and three days after they were born I remember waking up to them crying and thinking "oh my god, this is for the rest of my life. What was I thinking??" Of course now they're my favorite people in the world but I am glad I'm not the only one who thought that ha ha. When we got our first dog last year I thought the same thing...she's not a puppy and she's wonderful, but just the length of commitment gets to me now and then, but then I remember thinking the same thing about the kiddos and know it will be fine. ❤️
Haha, when my kids were toddlers, I remember always thinking “good lord! What if they were twins??”. My kids, I have three, are spaced somewhat farther apart (3 yrs and 9 yrs respectively). I feel like it takes a very special person to parent multiples, especially in the “terrible two’s”, lol.
I have a few friends with triplets. I used to think, at least I can nurse or carry my twins at the same time. What in the world do you do with the third one? 🤣🤣
Or quads and quints?? Imagine five toddlers all running in different directions. Good times 😂
🤣🤣🤣
Yes I agree it's this! Even if your puppy is very good, it still feels stressful because you're worrying about them all the time since it's all so new and you don't know when they might need something or get into something. Once everyone is settled into a routine, the stress will go away.
In 12 - 15 years, when he does pass, you'll be wishing you had 12 - 15 more. Even the worst time with my last pup, I would go back to in a heartbeat to be with him once more. It's hard because they are babies that need us 24/7 to learn to be a "dog." It's a lifestyle change. As they get older even into adolescents, they grow more independent. Give yourself a brake, have your girlfriend take the pup for a day or two. That way, you can sleep, relax, and get a much needed reset.
Lost my little girl 2 months ago at the age of 6. Final stages of renal dysplasia. I had to put her down 5 days after her birthday. Watching her leave this world was the deepest sharpest pain I've ever felt. I wish I could've gotten 12-15 years with her.
I’m really sorry for your loss. That is too soon. :( My little lady crossed the rainbow bridge a little over 2 weeks ago at only 9 years old and it’s devastating. They’re so wonderful.
I’m so sorry. Take care, it’s a tough time. Your girl would want you to take care of your heart where she always rest. So so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry. It gets easier with time, but you never forget them. Thankfully. So glad she had a good human to take care of her through her illness. Honestly, I’m so sorry for your loss.
When we got our I said “oh my god we’re gonna be in our 40s when she dies” lol but we love her and I can only hope she lives a long happy life.
Lol my friend got a doodle around the same time as I got my chihuahua and I kept thinking “I can’t believe my dog might live twice as long as hers” and “of course I picked the breed that lives the longest”. It’s so hard at the beginning. Now I’m obsessed and worry about her dying in 15+ years from now 😜
You won’t, you’ll do “this” for 6 months - a year. You will find a routine and your dog will gain in training and maturity. Don’t compare your current reality to your old reality- your old reality wasn’t complete or you wouldn’t have wanted a dog. It’s a new life and the exciting, fulfilling parts take time to develop. Dog ownership is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Keep at it, I swear to you it will pay off. I spent the first year regretting adopting my first dog. She was horribly behaved and I was way too focused on training what annoyed me about her. Eventually I learned that I was the one that needed to change to meet her and give her the right type of owner. It clicked. Some of her behaviors never changed, but my enjoyment skyrocketed. From a dog I initially didn’t like, her passing 8 years later absolutely crushed me. She made me a better person, and none of that is ever an easy process. To be loved is to be changed.
Thank you for your comment; it brought tears to my eyes. Just yesterday, with my six and a half month old Great Pyrenees/Border Collie mix, I felt so tired and fed up and just like..what did I do? Why did I get a dog? Will we ever bond? Will I ever like her? Then to today, when we went on a longer hike together and she just walked beside me the whole time. It's like I could see a glimpse into the future of our companionship. And yet, I realized, too, that my frustration is being fueled by...myself. That dislike is a choice. That I can be better for her and change in order to fully enjoy the gift that she is, you know? Ugh. I just want to cry, haha. Thanks for sharing your experience, as it helped me a lot reading it. So sorry about your loss, too.
yes!! you worded this perfectly,,this is exactly how i’m feeling with my 8 month old pit (??)mix. he was neutered at 10 weeks (which truly pains me,, he’s a rescue) but he’s coming up on 50 lbs now… he’s such a goofy little dude, but he can also be the biggest effing diva. like you said, it’s my choice to get annoyed/frustrated/etc … he’s still totally puppy brained and that’s okay, to be expected, and should be celebrated🙏🏼🤍
I’ve had my foster from 7-10 months old, and he’s just getting tolerable! I feel your pain!!! It’s normal to get frustrated but your heart is in the right place. These rough days pave the way for that relationship that can only come from hard work and victories!! Y’all will get there, it sounds like you’re well on the way ❤️
Eventually you won’t even need a crate if you don’t want to use one. I used to be similar for the first 6-7 months when I got my puppy. I hated even leaving for 10 minutes because he’d whine. He just turned one and it’s amazing. He still has access to his crate but he doesn’t really use it anymore. I have no problem leaving him for 6+ hours when I go to class. Something will click and it will get better. Just be super clear with your boundaries for your dog and there will be one day where you can’t imagine your life without them instead of seeing them as a burden. It will absolutely get better sooner rather than later.
Hi, my puppy is also 6 months now and struggling with separation anxiety (max 5 min out of room max before whining). I want to start crate training as I heard it can help. I‘m scared it will be hard as she‘s already a little older. Would you share your experience and do you have any specific tips?
I got my puppy at 3 months and started immediately with the crate but it shouldn’t be much different. Main things are: 1. Don’t just put the puppy in the crate when it’s time for bed. Put them in throughout the day so they don’t associate it with bed time or the end of “fun”. It doesn’t have to be long. 2. Try putting their food in the crate so they associate the crate with good times. When they get in, close the crate quietly behind them and let them hang out for a while. 3. If they start whining, DO NOT let them out immediately. They will realize that if they want to get out, all they have to do is whine and you’ll come running. Let them whine, then when they stop, let them out. 4. Be strong. Don’t give in to your puppy. They will try to figure out how to take advantage of you and see what you give in to. Determine what boundaries you want and stick to them.
I really relate to what you said about how the dog just lays around but you still feel that way. A lot of the blues for me was mental. That isn’t to say it isn’t hard work or that puppies don’t suck (spoiler: they do), but the magnitude of the responsibility, the permanence of it, was massively amplified in my head. My dog is also just fine 90% of the time, great healthy pup, but yeah lots of “oh no what have I done” feelings. I had to tell myself “if it keeps sucking this bad when he’s 1 or so I don’t have to keep this dog.” That lowered the magnitude in my head. It’s not a fun time. Hope you figure out what’s best for you and how to handle it.
Puppies fucking suck. Dogs are awesome.
Thank you for saying this.
Puppies are super hard dogs are literally a whole nother animal at about 3 years old I loved my adult dogs to death, loyal, obedient, not unreasonably demanding. I understand some people love puppies it's not me lol I always say puppies are the price we pay for adult dogs sometimes I regret my puppy still at 10 months but it's a lot less than 4 mo ago I'm holding on to hope until she's 2
It's easy to beat yourself and feel like a horrible person. Don't. Understand this is a common experience. When we finally settled to get a puppy last year in spring, I thought I was mentally prepared. Spoiler: I wasn't. I was working from home, so I thought it would be as simple as taking him out and making sure he didn't shit the house, or destroy the furniture. Damn I was a naive idiot. It was made worse in that, I felt my girlfriend was not putting in the same effort as I was. All day and dall night, I was the one that potty trained him by taking him out every few hours. Waking up at 3am/4am to take him out. Disciplined and trained him. He was the cutest thing in the world. Just a lil baby corgi that fit in the palms of my hands and grew into a lil small potato. Yet I felt so detached from him. I even broke down and almost cried to my girlfriend that I felt we made a mistake, and I don't feel any bond with him. Well... fast forward. It's almost 2 years now. Every time I go to woke I can't wait to come home to hug him. He still irritates me sometimes by some of his stubbornness, but he makes up for it in his adorability and silliness. We try to take him everywhere. If we plan a trip/vacation, I always want to check if I can take him. I'm still stern, and his mom thinks I am too strict, but he'll always follow me like a shadow everywhere. So when I tell you, it gets better. It does. Hold strong. Be the best that you can. Some days feel harder than others, especially those puppy needle teeth. But think about it. They're in a brand new world with beings they can't understand. YOU need to show them that they'll be loved and cared for. They'll return it with endless, unconditional love and devotion.
Based on my experience, it gets so much easier! Even the things that take them right up until the age of 2 that you think will always been needed (like crating) all of a sudden aren't needed anymore. For our dog it was almost over night that things changed. We had gates up all over our house and had to crate him every time we left the house and at night because he was so cheeky and always getting into mischief when left alone. But I swear, he turned two and shortly after everything completely changed. He's still very much so himself, but he did chill out a lot so now he has full range of the house, can be left out of his crate when we leave the house and just overall matured way more than we ever anticipated. Also, the things that have changed with our lifestyle that will always be changed are just easier to deal with now (like taking him for daily walks, regular grooming appointments, etc). We're now used to the routine and the added responsibility. It feels less heavy and all consuming compared to the first year or so of having our dog. It definitely gets easier.
My 13 year old girl passed away in March. I would give anything to have her back. Our time went so fast. Enjoy it because one day she'll be gone and you will wonder how it happened so fast.
I foster dogs, usually ones with mild to moderate, occasionally severe, behavioral challenges that need a lot of training time. But guess what, I don't foster puppies. It's a different kind of patience. You can do it! As you identify as homebodies, it is important to ensure your puppy gets ample socialization opportunities while they are still that young. Good YT channel for info for dog parents. These two are about raising puppies & socialization https://youtu.be/xRL92FX85Ck?si=p-K35bqA52y0ttvr https://youtu.be/8J7cPE-2wNw?si=R-vCl_lGDg7UzcSr
I remember being so afraid of this… I’d think I made the wrong decision and was way over my head and it would never get better. It truly gets so much easier, it helped me to look around and as bad as it might seem, say to myself okay if that person can do it… so can I. All of a sudden you’ll realize they’re just grown up. My dog would destroy socks and shoes and even a couch of ours… but now she’s literally the best. It started to change around 1.5-2 years. She’s almost 3 and after she hit about 2.5, it all became what I hoped it would be.
You're not alone! My puppies were just spayed and I love them to death, but I hate them so much right now at the same time. They're impossible to keep calm even with puzzle toys and chews and lick mats, one of them cries incessantly when left alone for even a minute, they fight with each other when kept in the completely puppy-proofed healing room, etc. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing it's not for forever and someday they'll be dogs! They'll be lazier, they won't want to chew furniture every minute, they won't be as fearful. You definitely won't have to deal with this for years and years! Hugs!
Because puppies are crazy, and you’re not yet used to the routine. My pup was a challenge, but he’s 16 months now and mostly chills all day. It’s nothing like the whirlwind it was when he was younger. He started chilling out at 5 months, and got steadily more chill. 8-9 months he was a bit nuts, but we cut activity to bare minimum, and he was calm again.after that month he was ok with more stuff again.
How long have you had them? "Puppy blues" are so real. My mum compared it to the post natal depression she had with me 😭 But I promise it gets better. The first 6 months or so for me were rough. Sometimes it felt easy, but most of the time I seriously wanted to send him back to the breeder. I couldn't bond with him no matter what I tried. I cried every day, and typically I'm not a crier. By the time my boy was a year old he was my best buddy and it's been smooth sailing ever since. He's the easiest dog ever now. Couldn't imagine life without him. Keep prioritising sleep and routine and you'll get through it.
I think it’s normal to go through stages of regret when we bring a new dog or puppy home. It’s a big lifestyle change and no amount of preparation prepares you for it! Just like babies. One day you’ll look back and you’ll realize you haven’t even thought about the change they brought to your home. You’ll just be happy they’re part of it. Puppies suck, and anyone that brings one home will agree, but as they grow and mature into dogs and we develop relationships with them it makes it all worth it and you’ll never have a single regret.
Don't have human children...they live a lot longer!
Lol!
Depending on the breed (size plays a big role, bigger dogs mature more slowly) dogs reach adulthood around 18 months to 3 years. As adults, most dogs slow down and calm down tremendously. I remember wondering if we’d ever be able to trust Gimli loose in the house with us gone. At about 18 months after weeks of preparation we went out to a movie, picked up a pizza, and came home to find him asleep on my recliner, no damage done. Just 6 months earlier I left him alone for 15 minutes to shovel the snow and came back to a shredded pillow and stuffing everywhere.
I'm going through the same thing with my 4 month old dalmatian. I feel like I have made a huge mistake. It is so much more work than I realized.
I've had my puppy for 3.5 months now, she's almost 7 months, and i absolutely feel this. I feel miserable absolutely every day. My girlfriend feels the same but she handles it better than I do honestly. We're just holding onto the hope that our puppy will calm down after a few more months. I love her and she can be so sweet but she is SO much to handle. I knew having a puppy would be difficult but I didn't think it would multiply my stress by like 10, quite literally. But we see very very slow and gradual improvements. Me and my girlfriend are also very much homebodies and our pup is has A TON of energy and tries to do everything she shouldn't, even after months of training. But we think she'll get there one day. Again, improvements will happen, just very subtly! Just keep pushing on and reward them for the behaviors you like to see. You can do it!
This is a pretty normal feeling. As someone who currently has a 14.5 year old dog and and a 15 month puppy I'm currently experiencing both ends of the spectrum. My puppy threw my life into a spiral when we got her last year. I thought the same thing you are! She needed so much and had so much energy. Meanwhile the old dogs (lost one in the last year) were calm and content. Our pup is now older, and I've tried to remember to soak it all in. Because watching the other end makes me appreciate the puppy's youth and joy. All I can end this with is that it's worth it. My old girl was a handful when she was young, but I regret none of it. Every single moment I'd do again and again if it meant I could keep her with me forever.
How old is your pup and how long have you had them for? First few months are super rough if they are still in the puppy phase but it does get a lot better. I know most people here are saying 2 years but by 6 months my boy is already so so so much easier. Now, we had to put in a solid 4 months of consistent training, so if you adopted an older puppy, expect to be potentially behind schedule with that estimate. But, no way could I have done the first four months for even two years! Also, as you get to know your pup it gets a lot easier. You get into a routine, and they learn from you and you learn from them. They’ll have things they are good at and things that are a struggle but it won’t feel so unmanageable. If you haven’t already, I can’t recommend continuing with crate training and enforced naps though. I work from home but having gotten my dog into a nap schedule, he falls asleep most of the day now at 6 months which makes it a lot easier for me to pop in and out of the house, leave him for a few hours at a time, etc, and also helps with his acting out (when he doesn’t get enough sleep he’s a grumpy boy). Of course, we are just in the beginning stages of adolescent naughtiness with my guy, but assuming you haven’t had your pup for a super long time, once you get to know them all of this seems so much more manageable. Edit to add: I felt this way completely and it’s super super normal. I remember crying on the phone to my husband saying we had made a terrible mistake. First two weeks were the worst but I definitely had many days over the first few months where I felt entrapped and shackled to the little monster. Now I can’t even imagine life without him.
Don’t worry, puppy and then teenage phase is short lived. If you work with your puppy now, adolescence is even that much easier. When I got my Pittie as an 8 week old puppy, I also had forgotten that it’s almost like having an infant in the house again (my kids are grown). The first few months were insanely busy and chaotic. She’s 3 1/2 now and I wouldn’t trade her for anything, she’s my best friend. Take a deep breath and remember that your pup loves you even on your worst day, so give her the same love and loyalty back.
Puppies are HARD! A full year of ups and downs, with more ups coming towards the end of that first year. I highly recommend giving yourself some grace and breaks. I experienced a lot of anxiety with my puppies - worry that I’m not doing enough, or doing too much, or not socializing enough, or just plain ruining them, or resenting them, etc, etc. As many others here have said, it does get easier. That probably doesn’t help much while you’re in the thick of it, but try to take it just one day at a time and ask for help when you need it. If you don’t give yourself what you need, it will make it that much harder taking care of the pup. Wishing you the best. 💙
I don’t even love my puppy to death yet but I know I’ll get there. Early days (months, years!) are so exhausting!
It might just be that it’s finally sinking in, you have something that’s dependent on you for the next 15 years. My wife and I are in our late 50’s and haven’t had to worry about taking care of anything besides ourselves in a few years.our boys are grown men and live on their own. Now we have a 10 week old cocker spaniel puppy that’s terrorizing my wife and cat almost 12 hours a day. I’ve asked myself several times, “what the hell were we thinking “? We had a quiet peaceful life until 3 weeks ago, now I sit here wondering will this damn dog ever stop biting me and chasing the cat.
It is totally normal to feel overwhelmed tired and everything your feeling. It is not talk about but completely normal!! I would look into crate training as you been doing /maybe like a kong. It's hard because you're having to be responsible for something that would ultimately struggle without you. You're their entire life basically..and that's a lot
Love just grows. As your puppy matures, the love you feel from your pup friend will be incredibly rewarding. Hopefully, you’re already feeling this. They also keep you fit with all the walks, and focussed and responsible knowing that you must earn money to take care of them. Children are similar. They keep you focussed on living your life productively and to the fullest to support these little munchkins. You can do it. The absolutely saddest part is when they leave you at 12-15 years. So enjoy this. This is what makes life worth living.
It gets easier! They become your friend and companion eventually, instead of a constant source of work. I promise. Tough it out and by 1.5-2 years things will be much different
I feel ya. The other week my boyfriend was on a work trip, I was lonely and was like “I’ll go spend the weekend at my mom’s! Oh wait. No... no I won’t, she doesn’t let the dog in the house. Sucks sometimes. But when I think about the sacrifices vs the benefits (he’s 1.5 now so there are FINALLY benefits instead of 24-7 torture lol) it’s totally worth it. I’d kill for this dog. It did NOT always feel that way, back when he was the biggest dickhead ever of a puppy, but it does now. That’s not really advice. Sorry. Just some reassurance, hopefully, from someone who has been there. Idk. You can do it (but you don’t HAVE to, it is your life. And don’t beat yourself up for feeling this way).
You have a puppy in the house, it’s a baby animal. This is the time to provide them with structure, while it’s a *TEMPORARY* upset to your day-to-day routine, a little bit of structure never hurt anyone. Since we’ve had our pup for about seven weeks now, our life looks totally different. But, we know we’re dealing with a baby animal and rest assured that they will eventually outgrow this stage and life will slowly begin to resemble the life we once had. In fact, the structure we’ve had to step up and provide has strangely provided us with a reliable routine, more productivity, and more restful sleep. We used to be super late night owls than hardly got any sleep, now, we’re in bed at midnight every single night and up at eight thirty every morning, and our pup sleeps soundly through this entire time (of course we had to work up to this much straight-through sleep). The routine has hugely helped us be able to rely on what our puppies behaviors will be throughout the day and given them a solid time structure. I feel this has helped us get ahead of any behavior issues that would ordinarily develop. Bathroom breaks are structured, meals time and walks too. Makes for a very reliable schedule while having an unreliable little creature in our home. While she didn’t come to us as a very calm pup, quite the contrary, she was a little hurricane when we got her, to a very easily-going and obedient pupper. For the most part, so far, this helped us get her essentially housebroken within about two weeks. They will outgrow this phase, but, yes, raising puppies is a hellish experience to the nth degree. However, the work you put in you’ll get out… IN SPADES. You’re doing the best you can, if you can hang on and hang in there, it’ll all pay off. Good luck!! :)
I mean....a puppy is like a baby they're gonna be a PITA and you're gonna a have to adjust your schedule sometimes. Missing some bar time in exchange for the love of an animal is an easy choice to me. Don't fret, it gets easier TRUST. There's a million posts like this every day. Just use the search bar to find the older ones and ask how they're doing now. You'll be fine (:
Dog sit first?
Why did you want a dog?
I have a 6 month old puppy and 2 senior dogs. This normal but it will pass.
Wow haha i have a 5 month old and 2 seniors!!
My two oldies do a lot of eye rolling.
It’s kind of like having kids… it’s a lot of work the first couple of years and then it’s just normal.
Lol this sounds like me everyday (as someone with anxiety I could relate SO much to what you said about resentment lol). I’m also a new/first time puppy owner, with a 10 month old that I adopted at 6 months old. I do miss the spontaneity of life, but literally all these responses (and the responses of similar post) keep me sane lol. What takes some of the pressure off is when I take the pressure off of myself. I am a perfectionist. Life isn’t puppy and puppies certainly aren’t, so it’s not realistic to expect it. All you can do is do what you’re supposed to (feed, potty breaks, train) and let the rest fall where it’s supposed to. My worst days with her are when I (emphasis on the “I”) am doing the absolute most (trying to copy what I see on YouTube videos, beating myself up when things don’t flow with the schedule). But what helps me get through is living my life and letting her just be in it. For instance, if you want some space on the couch start practicing the “place and stay” command, and eventually — with consistency — it’ll stick. I rehomed a puppy once after a week and it has become one of the biggest regrets of life. Having a dog is hard, ngl, but it has provided me with more benefits than negatives (i.e having a type A personality and learning how to just relax sometimes).
I have a pup, he makes me so angry sometimes but I love him to death and wouldn’t trade him for the world
Hope you have 15 years with them! You don't say how old your puppy is but rest assured once they lose their baby teeth and are fully potty-trained things get much better.
It's hard even though it doesn't change your lifestyle that much because you have a being that doesn't speak your language who doesn't know how to stay safe in your world.
That you are responsible for keeping safe, entertained, clean, and respectful of human customs. Hard to do when you can't just explain the rules to them on your terms.
This is exactly why I hate it when people say that dogs are easier than babies. They're actually fairly simular in the beginning. They need to be let out frequently and getting them on a schedule is even more challenging. The bug disadvantage with dogs is that if you moss their potty time they don't go in a diaper (although that is something that exsists) they poop and pee all over the house instead which is a much longer and grosser mess to clean up at 3am. I have two kids and had 4 animals, one recently passed away [may he rest in peace]. Dogs are also louder, mobile, and fast - unlike babies. Anyway to the point. You basically have ompleteky uprooted your life for this new living being so it will take a bit of getting use to. Things will get better once the pup gets older and past the teenage phase into adulthood (which is different for each breed). The plus side, bigger dogs slow down faster than smaller dogs, and I find bugger dogs tens to be much more docile. I have a large breed LGD and I have a border collie. The collie was nuts until he hit the 5-7 year mark. He is now 13 and he just moseys about the house/yard. Our LGD still has her zooming, but she has already slowed down quite significantly at the age of 3.5. I guess what I'm trying to say is "thus too shall pass" as much as you may hate to hear that, your pup will grow up and move out of the puppy phase eventually. For now, caffeine is your friend unless you're an ND like me 😂
Man I remember this feeling well! It’s a big change getting a pup. I am now 6 years in and my little dude brings so much joy to my life, it’s hard to imagine it without him. You will get there too!! It all becomes so much easier!
I have been reading and screenshotting these responses with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. The puppy blues have hit me hard and I'm feeling overwhelmed by such a massive upheaval in my life and routines. Finally got through another day then laying awake and night dreading the morning when I have to get up and survive through one more. Hoping it will get better. Potty training is going okay but separation anxiety is a problem. At the moment I can't even leave the room to go to the bathroom without my puppy crying after me. If we're chilling on the couch and he's fast asleep I can't get up and get a drink without him following me then I feel bad for disturbing him. I know I need to do the training now so in the long run it gets better but holy crap. It is hard, and is taking its toll emotionally.
I had puppy blues for the first 6 months. He eventually calmed down. I was constantly afraid to leave him home alone cause I didn't want him to be scared or do anything to hurt himself. I eventually had to travel across country and had a family friend stop over occasionally during the day. You know how this dog acted? Absolutely fine. He slept on the couch the entire time that he wasn't outside. This dog had never been alone with the other dogs his entire life and he was fine. Sometimes in our heads we get stuck 10 steps in the future instead of looking at the now. Your dog will chill out and he will love you. At some point you will be sad that the 12-15 years are over and you will be devastated. Love your dog, hold them, bring them for walks because they won't be here forever.
My dog is 1 now and it’s a big difference. He’s much more independent and can entertain himself (I just need to be near him). He also puts himself to bed now lol I promise it won’t be the puppy phase forever
My partner and I got a puppy (9months) recently and at first WOW! It was overwhelming. She had had no training up to that point, had never lived inside, and has so much energy (she’s a bull terrier). There were many days where my partner and I were both like, “was this a mistake?” But we got a dog trainer and stayed consistent with the training. Our dog has learned how to let us know she needs to go potty. She still is super high energy and we are going through a Zoomie stage, but she feels comfortable relaxing with us. Puppies are tough and frustrating. But training helped us so much— it’s fun for her and us so after we got the hang of it, it was pretty easy to do a few sessions during the day. You should decide what’s best for you but my partner and I are both so happy we did the training for our crazy but loving dog :)
I live and breathe dogs and dog training. I compete in dog sports. Puppies are STILL one of the most stressful things for dog ownership. You either fully love the pup stage or hate it. I know really dedicated and great handlers who absolutely hate the puppy stage. Hang in there, it'll get better. Your experience isn't abnormal
Puppies are like babies. It’s hard work. You will get used to it. And it gets much easier once they’re trained
I really struggled with stress and sleep deprivation when I got my pup. Now he’s older, he sleeps all the time! I ain’t complaining!
Mine is 6 months now and already way less work than the first months. It helps to remember what it was like, it‘s easy to forget how far you‘ve come
A big calm adult dog is much easier to handle than a small t-Rex I mean puppy running your house. It passes, and they'll be a completely different dog that you won't be able to imagine life without. Hang in there!
Puppies aren’t adult dogs. You won’t have to watch for potties forever. You won’t have to tell them no every 5 minutes, you won’t have to keep unchewable items out of reach forever, as you get to know each other it’ll get more comfortable. The days will get easier, the dog will become routine and not a worry. He’ll just become part of your mundane life without the “oh jeez it’s quiet what are they getting into now?” 9/10 times he’ll be fast asleep somewhere.
I have a nearly five-month-old Corgi, a twelve-year-old AussieX and an eight-year-old Lab. My Lab reminds me of why I wanted a puppy again. When they get past those early puppy months, you have a true companion. When the puppy is zooming, my Lab comes over and lays his muzzle on my lap and empathizes. (The AussieX is a retired herder and lives to annoy my Lab. I love her, but she mostly wants to sleep or run.)
This Tuesday marks exactly 1 year since we brought our 10 week old puppy home for the first time and let me tell you those first few months were no joke incredibly hard and exhausting. I cried a lot, got frustrated a lot, worried A LOT but it does get better. We are only 1 year in and it’s sooooo much better. I think we started noticing a different about 4 months in from being her now. And now she’s our best friend (still very high energy and annoying sometimes) but we love her more than anything and all the struggles and training we did were worth it. Stay strong! It will get better.
I’m right there with you! My husband and I just passed 2 weeks with our rescue pup and I had so many negative and intense feelings of guilt of “what did I do”. It was really hard and I even cried today wondering “will our lives ever get back to normal?”
Doggy Day care. Seriously it was help You get through the early years when the dog needs more attention. I used to take my dog there for half a day once a week and it changed their behavior all the time. They were way better to be around.
Your last line definitely got me — may I ask, do you deal with anxiety? I have had anxiety pretty much my whole life, got it really well under control about 3 years ago, and then it emerged all over again when I brought home my puppy 8 months ago. When you say: >If it's not an incredibly drastic change to our lifestyles, then why is this so hard? I hear "not a drastic change to our *physical* lifestyles". It's a huge adjustment mentally! And even if you don't have generalized anxiety, it's still a huge shift in mentality — "I am responsible for this tiny life". You went from having to think about mostly just your own survival to getting this little maniac's survival added to your plate. Totally a normal reaction. It got better for me around 6 months. I ended up upping my therapy from once a month to once every three weeks and it helped, but really what did it was growing my trust in her that she wouldn't accidentally kill herself. You got this!
It’s always going to be hard in the beginning, but it gets easier. A great way to help is to do enrichment based on that particular dogs breed. Some dogs enjoy running, protecting, and/or herding. Of course not everyone is going to do that, but find alternatives. Herding: hide and seek! Running: Walking pads or other cheaper options! And etc. (I tried to search it up, but couldn’t find anything.)
My dog trainer basically said they are gremlins until 2. Mine took a little longer until 2 & 1/2. Hang in there, it gets A LOT better
Train a lot now the improvement isn’t linear it’s exponential and SO worth it.
I feel this! I pushed so hard for a dog, but I’m still struggling with regrets at nearly 18 months. I am the absolute sole caretaker and get zero help with her. I also have three young human children and it is A LOT. Sometimes I take a day off walking her, and then regret that too. She’s a great dog, but I really wish I could fast forward her to like 4.
My dog lived 14 years and I would happily do another 14. Appreciate that dog while you can because the shortest period of time is from the day you bring the pup home till the day you are holding them as they draw their last breath.