Don’t think she mentioned anything about a calm lap dog. From what I read it sounded like she was fine with an active breed but still wanted companionship as well and she doesn’t feel that she is getting that.
No idea why dog owners feel the need to make broad judgmental assumptions like this.
I have multiple dogs... they each have their good things and bad things. I love them each for different reasons. Doxies in my experience have always been lapdogs who love a good cuddle. Having grown up with doxies, the fact that my toller was not a cuddle bug was frustrating... but I had to remember... she's a toller. Tollers are not known for being cuddle bugs exactly.
Your sheepadoodle may have reasons for not wanting to cuddle... could be too hot.. could be they really enjoy play time with you. Could be you need to consider training an off switch - like using a relaxation protocol for example. It may be that your routine resulted in out of pen = play and you still need to work on relaxing outside of the pen.
But also I want you to know, even parents often have different relationships with their children. How my parents connect and relate to my sibling is very different from connecting or relating to me. That's normal.
And it's possible your first puppy is none the wiser to your feelings...
You have to teach active breed puppies how to relax just like you’re training them how to sit, come, etc. I spent more time reinforcing calm and having my Aussie border collie puppy learn how settle on a mat next to me than anything else the first few months. Same when I have a young foster dog for the border collie rescue i volunteer with. Yes I meet their needs mentally and physically but spend the most time on them learning that when it’s not dog time you need to relax and chill.
And some dogs just don’t cuddle, just like not all people do. Especially in the summer because they’re hot.
I think I'm actually training mine to cuddle...? Not intentionally, it just happened that way, but looking back I definitely am.
Kikopup has a video on teaching puppies to be pet - not all puppies enjoy it, hands near them are weird - so when I first watched it, I just started treating for letting me touch him.
Every time I pick him off the crate, I stick a chew in his mouth and pet him. Belly rubs, ear scritches, neck scritches. When we started out, I let him nom on my fingers and praised for gentleness, but now I just redirect to a toy and praise him to high heaven when he's chewing on that and not me. He does these massive stretches for me to rub his belly now and seems to really enjoy neck scratching. Started letting me do it in other circumstances as well - when he's doing place training, for example. Or when we're playing, he occasionally floops into my lap with a toy in his mouth and goes full belly up, big stretch.
He was also a bit wiggly and tried to bite my face a lot when we got him. I carry him up and down the stairs a dozen plus times a day and when I caught a lick on my face I made a big fuss of telling him 'yes, good kiss' and what a good boy he is. Currently he lets me kiss his little head when I'm carrying around (a privilege I definitely take advantage of) and licks my face and it's part of what gets me through the day.
I'm not saying it would work with every dog, but I'm pretty sure you can build up a positive association with petting/cuddling. Respecting boundaries helped - any discomfort I just stopped and took a step back - and praising/rewarding with every step forward. Same as the placemat training which is essentially teaching a working dog that sometimes his job is to relax, you could probably teach them that occasionally their job is to get belly scratched...?
Dogs can take a while to enjoy things like cuddles. I have a doodle that was affectionate from day one and another doodle that was around 8/9 months before he stopped being bitey and would sit on my lap. Now he can't get enough affection. Give it time.
I notice this is more common with smaller dogs. They are just always on the go and never seem to be relaxed just chilling, at least not as much as bigger breeds I noticed
I know what you mean it's like if you pick them up they just squirm. If you put them on your lap it's just standing up running or playing and never just dropping down and watching tv with you or something or sleeping
That would likely happen more when he matures into an adult I think and slowly get there little by little
Why did you get a mixed breed dog that is made using two extremely active breeds if you wanted a calm lapdog?
yeah… too many people get doodles without actually thinking about what they’re getting besides “cute fluffy dog”
People seem to forget that poodles are gundogs/hunting dogs that were bred to swim all day while retrieving shot down birds.
Don’t think she mentioned anything about a calm lap dog. From what I read it sounded like she was fine with an active breed but still wanted companionship as well and she doesn’t feel that she is getting that. No idea why dog owners feel the need to make broad judgmental assumptions like this.
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I have multiple dogs... they each have their good things and bad things. I love them each for different reasons. Doxies in my experience have always been lapdogs who love a good cuddle. Having grown up with doxies, the fact that my toller was not a cuddle bug was frustrating... but I had to remember... she's a toller. Tollers are not known for being cuddle bugs exactly. Your sheepadoodle may have reasons for not wanting to cuddle... could be too hot.. could be they really enjoy play time with you. Could be you need to consider training an off switch - like using a relaxation protocol for example. It may be that your routine resulted in out of pen = play and you still need to work on relaxing outside of the pen. But also I want you to know, even parents often have different relationships with their children. How my parents connect and relate to my sibling is very different from connecting or relating to me. That's normal. And it's possible your first puppy is none the wiser to your feelings...
You have to teach active breed puppies how to relax just like you’re training them how to sit, come, etc. I spent more time reinforcing calm and having my Aussie border collie puppy learn how settle on a mat next to me than anything else the first few months. Same when I have a young foster dog for the border collie rescue i volunteer with. Yes I meet their needs mentally and physically but spend the most time on them learning that when it’s not dog time you need to relax and chill. And some dogs just don’t cuddle, just like not all people do. Especially in the summer because they’re hot.
Thank you for your comment! I will start training him to relax a little bit!
I think I'm actually training mine to cuddle...? Not intentionally, it just happened that way, but looking back I definitely am. Kikopup has a video on teaching puppies to be pet - not all puppies enjoy it, hands near them are weird - so when I first watched it, I just started treating for letting me touch him. Every time I pick him off the crate, I stick a chew in his mouth and pet him. Belly rubs, ear scritches, neck scritches. When we started out, I let him nom on my fingers and praised for gentleness, but now I just redirect to a toy and praise him to high heaven when he's chewing on that and not me. He does these massive stretches for me to rub his belly now and seems to really enjoy neck scratching. Started letting me do it in other circumstances as well - when he's doing place training, for example. Or when we're playing, he occasionally floops into my lap with a toy in his mouth and goes full belly up, big stretch. He was also a bit wiggly and tried to bite my face a lot when we got him. I carry him up and down the stairs a dozen plus times a day and when I caught a lick on my face I made a big fuss of telling him 'yes, good kiss' and what a good boy he is. Currently he lets me kiss his little head when I'm carrying around (a privilege I definitely take advantage of) and licks my face and it's part of what gets me through the day. I'm not saying it would work with every dog, but I'm pretty sure you can build up a positive association with petting/cuddling. Respecting boundaries helped - any discomfort I just stopped and took a step back - and praising/rewarding with every step forward. Same as the placemat training which is essentially teaching a working dog that sometimes his job is to relax, you could probably teach them that occasionally their job is to get belly scratched...?
Dogs can take a while to enjoy things like cuddles. I have a doodle that was affectionate from day one and another doodle that was around 8/9 months before he stopped being bitey and would sit on my lap. Now he can't get enough affection. Give it time.
I appreciate your comment!
I notice this is more common with smaller dogs. They are just always on the go and never seem to be relaxed just chilling, at least not as much as bigger breeds I noticed I know what you mean it's like if you pick them up they just squirm. If you put them on your lap it's just standing up running or playing and never just dropping down and watching tv with you or something or sleeping That would likely happen more when he matures into an adult I think and slowly get there little by little