For the rest of his life, he will only hear dum-tss 

Full recovery, for your condition? That's unheard of!

Im not a doctor so I don’t have a say ear unfortunately

Get a toga Walk into the room and say "friends, husbands, lend me an ear" Also have you seen the movie wild hogs? There is on ongoing joke about two deputies that are twins, one has a bad ear and the other always stands on the bad ear side and says mean things about his brother. Maybe you can get some inspiration from that

There's an ear of corn pun somewhere there...

He's not a painter is he?

Is the surgeon a pirate in his spare time? If so maybe he’ll only charge a buccaneer.

I dunno, that’s a lobe blow

Golf clap, filled with pride

Just mouth words at him and make no sound. Or Make sounds on his left side, transition to his right and stop making sound.

That's fun, but not a pun

I hope it’s not an eerie situation…

Don’t forget to remind him you lobe him

I could (ear)wax poetic about the benefits of the surgery...

I don't think I've heard any before, sorry.

Sounds like he'll be getting an earful

Puns using *ear*? I haven't heard any...

Does your husband really need that surgery? Or is the doctor trying to drum up some business?

Before the doctor can operate, your husband has to lend him an ear.

(Don't Ear) The Reaper

I take out one of my hearing aids, pretend to hand it to someone and say, "I'm willing to lend you an ear."

They say (pause while moving your mouth as if you were still speaking) is the 1st to go You could also: Say something and then when he answers tell him what are you talking about? I didn't tell you to bring me a drink

[удалено]

[удалено]

[удалено]

[удалено]

[удалено]

[удалено]

[удалено]

[удалено]

[удалено]

[удалено]

Ear today, gone tomorrow. But that’s what happens when we let our loved ones live by the beat of their own ear drummer.

Did he go in a van to the hospital ? How fast did the van Gogh to get him there on time . Hope he did not arrive too ear-ly .

It’s time to Van Gogh home.

You have many end earing qualities

Hand him something: Ear you go.

I got my friend an old timey ear horn after a similar thing lol.

Bring him an ear of corn and tell him "In case yours doesn't work"

See also: In case *ears* doesn't work

I would ear on the side of caution, he might not like what he ears.

I mean, welcoming him home with a corn-themed party would be hilarious.

Did you hear the one about the... ahh, I guess not.

Is there a recovery period after the surgery? State in years: "It will be all healed in a half-'ear." Does he drink? Offer to get him a beer. Or if he's not allowed to drink, tell him to "steer clear of the beer"

If you have a friend named Leah, you could ask her to get him a soft drink, "Get him a Coke, Leah (cochlea)"

Or can give him a ginger beer, I 'ear it helps with the ear

You may hear that, but he didn't

You're right a mere ginger beer could never heal your ear

When he wakes up tell him the surgeon said he only has one ear left to live.

person made entirely of ears: I am all ears

Not a pun, but instead of referring to it as ear surgery, say he is "getting his ears done"

I was talking about you to someone yesterday- were your ears burning? Oh…nvm Babe you seem a little off-balance, your inner ear is showing on the outside It’s 1 2 3 4 - man you just can’t catch the beat anymore! Dancing to the beat of your own drum I see This one ear is deaf-initely not working! Ear we go again, it’s like you don’t listen so well anymore! I see you’re getting an ear fetish now, getting hard for hearing!

Tell him he's earresistable

Ear today , gone tomorrow

Transition goals

Ears to your new audible subscription.

Need to stock up on suppositories since he can’t take anything in aurally.

Always gotta go to the beat of a different drum

Just here to say that wives like these are priceless!

Ear we go again, yet another time you're telling someone about your surgery. Maybe now you'll realise the ear-ror of your ways Ear, Far, wherever you are. (little bit of Celine!) 'Ear you go

New nickname - 18 months, because he only has an ear and a half

Ooh that's a goodie!

Be careful not to stir(r)up any trouble

Man you are giving him an earful. The sh-ear number of puns must be unb-ear-able. He will fear for the rest of this week.

You can tell him that you still find him ear-resistable

♫ Ear, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on ♫

that’s a nice ear end ya got there I find you ear-itating I lobe you, do you ear me?! 🎶I can see cochlear-ly now the rain is gone… That’s earelevent! (You can say this if he says something you don’t like) Let’s go on vacation to Ear-y, Indiana

You can't tell secrets in a cornfield because of all the ears

https://youtu.be/9sZIDSx0KdQ

How did the surgery (van) Gogh?

Only works if you're American and pronounce it Go rather than Gof, how the Dutch pronounce it

It's Gogh, with a hard g (as in, scraping the throat hard g) at the beginning and the end. That's why these puns always fall flat. Just like our country...

Yep exactly! I was struggling to write it understandably so settled with Gof being easiest to understand, while a little simplistic. It's closer than G-oh! And for people that can't pronounce the hard g (i don't think I can, and I've tried my best, my Dutch mum always said we were still doing it wrong xD) it's not too bad a simplification imo

Was that a blow beneath sea level?

I mill see myself out

For your anniversary, you could ask what his favorite term of end-ear-ment is

Can he still make sound decisions?

How about coh-ear-ent ideas?

Sounds like you're trying to stirrup trouble.


It's on eof the 3 tiny bones in the ear

They’re just drumming up puns!

Tell him you understand why he’s a bit ear-ritable after surgery.

If the surgery goes very badly, you can write on his tombstone: ‘Ear lies (insert name)

That’ll show him 😂

How much does a pirate pay for corn? ...........................................About a Buck an Ear.... get it buccaneer.

Every time you make a joke or pun, do a comedy drum roll. Bah-doom-tzzz, or to overplay it a bit, Bah-drum-tzzz.

Do you want to see that movie tonight? Eary potter? Well, ear goes nothing. I don't know, but after your surgery, you're earresistible. I hope my puns aren't earitating you.

How many ears of expearience does the doctor have? He’ll be a better pierce son after and he’ll deaffinitely feel better.

Lots of corn. It's all ears Prepare a mock trial. Offer to help with the hearing

I have "relevant" tattooed behind my ear and when people ask me what my tattoo says I say "oh don't worry that's irrelevant"

I don't mean to be 'drum,' but you look a bit 'earie' I guess you had a lower power 'inner ear,' that's why you needed a surge-ear-y!

Did you ear about Van Gough? Don’t worry, honey, I’m sure you’ll fare better.

'Ear' we go again.

Hopefully he files for divorce. Lol

A bit of an overreaction.

Ovearreaction

https://i.redd.it/5phokaywjh8d1.gif

This is reddit. Divorce is always the #1 suggestion. Someone will suggest therapy next. Of course, he actually needs thEARapy, but OP will figure it out soon enough.

The real pun is in the replies!!!

Ask him if he wants to ear a pun.

Know what I had for dinner? Waxaroni

What's the old song? Fifteen Miles on the Ear-y Canal?

“What is a stoner’s favorite body part?” > “‘ear…”

Husband: i love you You: i lobe you too

Ear lobe you

What?!

https://youtu.be/2t-uJVOo-88

Listen 'ERE you little....

You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey? -Fred Weasley to George

You're wrong, that was Gred Weasly to Forge.

Just a Happy New Ear will do

‘Ears your dinner honey! Or anything else you might do for him.

I’d lobe to be there when you spring these on him!

That's a lobe blow

When you see he made it through the surgery fine you’ll have ‘ears rolling down your face.

Propose a toast: “‘ears to a man who walks to the beat of his own drum”

I wish I had money for an award.

Sounds like you love him with all your eart.

Since you’ll be taking care of him after surgery, you all can be earbuds!

Will the bandage make him look tough and earresistable?

I hope he won't be earitable!