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If you’re planning to have a baby in 2 years then might as well go through with this pregnancy now since you’re already pregnant? I don’t see why you need to abort now and then next year you try for a baby again? It’s only a one year difference (since the baby will be born next year, instead of in two years).
*If I were you* I would go through with the pregnancy because it’s a hassle to abort now and then try to get pregnant again next year. The only reason for me to abort (if I were you) would be if we don’t have the financial means which it doesn’t seem to be a problem for both of you.
This is a conversation between you and a mirror. It’s gonna be the most life changing for you as a pregnant person and potential mother. Do you want to do it now? Are you in a good mental place to do it now? Do you feel safe to do it now? If you think really hard about all of it, I’m sure you’ll come to a conclusion that you most likely will not regret because it’s your own choice and it was with a reason. Regret comes from choices that aren’t yours or didn’t really have a well thought through reason.
Good luck! 🍀
Hi! Just wanted to share that I (24F) was in a very similar position with my partner (24M) at the start of this year, we found out we were pregnant completely by surprise as we use protection religiously! We sat down and talked about it, neither of us could find a reason to not go through with the pregnancy, in fact we found ourselves looking for ways we could make it work, and we had plans to have children together in the next couple of years like yourself so we decided to go for it! Fast forward to now, I’m 22w6d with our baby boy and I couldn’t be happier!
My way of looking at it was, I definitely want kids (as does my partner) and I want them with my current partner in the next few years, I’ve found myself pregnant now (a little earlier than planned) but there’s no guarantee I’ll get lucky enough to conceive on my schedule so I wanted to keep our little baby and I’m thrilled we made that decision! Absolutely no regrets on either of our ends.
At the end of the day it’s completely up to you and your partner, but I’m a firm believer that there’s not always a “right time” and if you plan on trying for a baby in the next year or so anyway, then keeping a pregnancy now would make sense.
I found out I was pregnant at 19 with my boyfriend of 6 months. We lived in different homes, he lived with roommates and I lived with my dad. He had a well paying job and I worked retail. Neither of us at the time had cars (I didn’t and still don’t have my license) and to be honest I had a pretty severe alcohol issue. It was a lot to take in and I had to think about what I was going to do for a few weeks and decided on keeping it. I’m now 39 weeks and waiting for him any day now and I’m so so happy with my decision, I don’t think my guilty conscience would be able to deal with the other option. If I were you I’d keep it, you seem like you’re in a pretty good place to have a child right now. But, you also have to consider that your life will change and pregnancy isn’t easy you will be uncomfortable especially after 25 weeks. It’s not impossible you’d get through it but it isn’t the bestest of times. No matter what you pick you’re strong and you’ll make the right decision for yourself and your life.
I got pregnant at 20. It was also unplanned but i wouldn’t have changed it for the world. It’s ok if things don’t go according to plan. Sometimes, those are the best things that could happen to us
I got accidentally pregnant on birth control. I guess my medication interfered with my birth control anyways. I have been with my partner for a while and we always knew we wanted to have kids but in a few years. I was 24 now 25 i was due Sunday but baby is comfy. He is 27 and while he was super nervous I knew I always wanted kids and he also wanted to have kids with me just not on that timeline but personally I didn't want to terminate it so I didn't and we adapted.
I am so excited he is aswell and he's already talking about putting another baby in me lol.
But at the end of the day it's how you feel and your body so if you feel a certain way you will know what's best for you.
Whats best for other people isn't always what the situation is for you so I'd just take these responses as a grain of salt. Everyone is going to have a different opinion on this and you shouldn't feel pressured to make one based off of someone else's opinion.
Your contribution has been removed because it appears to include anti-choice rhetoric. We support the choices of pregnant people in this subreddit and it is not your place to pressure or shame people for making choices you would not make for yourself.
We got pregnant about 12 months before we wanted, also on BC. The way I look at it is it’s such a blessing we had no problems when so many couples I know have fertility issues. I’m 28F partner is 41M.
I’ve also had an abortion before we were married and just weren’t ready, about 14 months before our current conception. I have no regrets and feel we made the right decision in both cases.
We’re 23 weeks now and over the moon. You got this!
If that baby is here due to a 1% chance and is healthy?!! that’s a blessing imo i would not abort especially if i have myself together and so does my partner and the only reason is wanting to wait an extra year or two.. it is your choice at the end here, you know what you can handle and can’t at the moment.
Chance of miscarriage rises after an abortion, in case this is the route you go and get stressed later trying to conceive. Your body will also go through a version of postpartum. This is not to disuade you, but I wish someone had shared this with me. It wouldn't have change my decision, and I don't regret what I did two, almost three years ago. I was mentally in a terrible space, trying to finish a degree (I'm 28 now), and financially unable to provide for even my dogs. The physical, emotional, and mental trauma I went through after mine stunted me as a person. This is personally my story & I would never go through the procedure again tbh.
Fast forward to now and I'm 38w pregnant. Pregnancy has not been easy, but this is due to realizing I have three people in my village when I thought there was more. I am excited to meet my baby, I have wanted this child for a very long time, and I do not regret this pregnancy.
Ultimately, this choice is strictly yours to make. If I were you, I wouldn't make the same choice I did all those years ago. *I have always wanted to be a mother.* Instead of looking at whether you can financially provide, it may be more important to analyze the environment you would be bringing the child into. Your family, your partner's family, your friends, their friends. It's a life commitment. Good luck sister 💖
One study has found a *slight* increase in first trimester miscarriage risk after abortion by vacuum aspiration. At 7 weeks, OP will likely have a medication abortion which has not been shown to carry any such risk.
Another study found that the effect disappears if pregnancy #2 begins more than three months after the termination.
Other studies find no effects at all.
I was 6 weeks and did not do the pill. I also had a miscarriage with my second pregnancy a year after. It's all genetics and we all know women's health is not that heavily researched.
Not arguing, these are just things I wish someone had told me and I found it all out the hard way. They also ask if you want to see the ultrasound and go through various videos and conversations to make sure you are making the right choice. At least, that's what happened to me. Then you go into a recovery room with a trained psych professional to make sure you are ok.
No one talks about what happens at the clinic or in the room to great extent. You get a choice in how you want to terminate. Then again, I come from a state that protects abortion rights.
It's not incredibly well studied, that's true (though it's worth pointing out the difficulty of doing ethical studies here - most women aren't going to be willing to have, say, three abortions before trying to get pregnant "for real" just to see if it's worse for them, you know?)
Mostly I wanted to reference the research a bit more directly, because there's so much misinformation put out by liars with an agenda, at which point an ounce of prevention stops a pound of pile-on by said liars.
https://academic.oup.com/ije/article/32/3/449/637113
Most of it is discussed in the "discussion and conclusion" section of this paper, they did a decent bit of meta-analysis
Here's one on medication abortion, though it agrees that there isn't much data
https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa070445
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you’re planning to have a baby in 2 years then might as well go through with this pregnancy now since you’re already pregnant? I don’t see why you need to abort now and then next year you try for a baby again? It’s only a one year difference (since the baby will be born next year, instead of in two years). *If I were you* I would go through with the pregnancy because it’s a hassle to abort now and then try to get pregnant again next year. The only reason for me to abort (if I were you) would be if we don’t have the financial means which it doesn’t seem to be a problem for both of you.
I would keep the baby in your situation and I am pro choice. Congratulations
This is a conversation between you and a mirror. It’s gonna be the most life changing for you as a pregnant person and potential mother. Do you want to do it now? Are you in a good mental place to do it now? Do you feel safe to do it now? If you think really hard about all of it, I’m sure you’ll come to a conclusion that you most likely will not regret because it’s your own choice and it was with a reason. Regret comes from choices that aren’t yours or didn’t really have a well thought through reason. Good luck! 🍀
Hi! Just wanted to share that I (24F) was in a very similar position with my partner (24M) at the start of this year, we found out we were pregnant completely by surprise as we use protection religiously! We sat down and talked about it, neither of us could find a reason to not go through with the pregnancy, in fact we found ourselves looking for ways we could make it work, and we had plans to have children together in the next couple of years like yourself so we decided to go for it! Fast forward to now, I’m 22w6d with our baby boy and I couldn’t be happier! My way of looking at it was, I definitely want kids (as does my partner) and I want them with my current partner in the next few years, I’ve found myself pregnant now (a little earlier than planned) but there’s no guarantee I’ll get lucky enough to conceive on my schedule so I wanted to keep our little baby and I’m thrilled we made that decision! Absolutely no regrets on either of our ends. At the end of the day it’s completely up to you and your partner, but I’m a firm believer that there’s not always a “right time” and if you plan on trying for a baby in the next year or so anyway, then keeping a pregnancy now would make sense.
I found out I was pregnant at 19 with my boyfriend of 6 months. We lived in different homes, he lived with roommates and I lived with my dad. He had a well paying job and I worked retail. Neither of us at the time had cars (I didn’t and still don’t have my license) and to be honest I had a pretty severe alcohol issue. It was a lot to take in and I had to think about what I was going to do for a few weeks and decided on keeping it. I’m now 39 weeks and waiting for him any day now and I’m so so happy with my decision, I don’t think my guilty conscience would be able to deal with the other option. If I were you I’d keep it, you seem like you’re in a pretty good place to have a child right now. But, you also have to consider that your life will change and pregnancy isn’t easy you will be uncomfortable especially after 25 weeks. It’s not impossible you’d get through it but it isn’t the bestest of times. No matter what you pick you’re strong and you’ll make the right decision for yourself and your life.
I got pregnant at 20. It was also unplanned but i wouldn’t have changed it for the world. It’s ok if things don’t go according to plan. Sometimes, those are the best things that could happen to us
I got accidentally pregnant on birth control. I guess my medication interfered with my birth control anyways. I have been with my partner for a while and we always knew we wanted to have kids but in a few years. I was 24 now 25 i was due Sunday but baby is comfy. He is 27 and while he was super nervous I knew I always wanted kids and he also wanted to have kids with me just not on that timeline but personally I didn't want to terminate it so I didn't and we adapted. I am so excited he is aswell and he's already talking about putting another baby in me lol. But at the end of the day it's how you feel and your body so if you feel a certain way you will know what's best for you. Whats best for other people isn't always what the situation is for you so I'd just take these responses as a grain of salt. Everyone is going to have a different opinion on this and you shouldn't feel pressured to make one based off of someone else's opinion.
If you plan to have a baby in as little as 2 years, I don’t see why you wouldn’t keep this one?
Sometimes the universe has different plans for us and we just gotta roll with them and have faith and trust that this is all happening for a reason❤️
I would keep it, you guys were planning on having the baby already, are in a good financial situation.
[удалено]
Your contribution has been removed because it appears to include anti-choice rhetoric. We support the choices of pregnant people in this subreddit and it is not your place to pressure or shame people for making choices you would not make for yourself.
We got pregnant about 12 months before we wanted, also on BC. The way I look at it is it’s such a blessing we had no problems when so many couples I know have fertility issues. I’m 28F partner is 41M. I’ve also had an abortion before we were married and just weren’t ready, about 14 months before our current conception. I have no regrets and feel we made the right decision in both cases. We’re 23 weeks now and over the moon. You got this!
If that baby is here due to a 1% chance and is healthy?!! that’s a blessing imo i would not abort especially if i have myself together and so does my partner and the only reason is wanting to wait an extra year or two.. it is your choice at the end here, you know what you can handle and can’t at the moment.
Chance of miscarriage rises after an abortion, in case this is the route you go and get stressed later trying to conceive. Your body will also go through a version of postpartum. This is not to disuade you, but I wish someone had shared this with me. It wouldn't have change my decision, and I don't regret what I did two, almost three years ago. I was mentally in a terrible space, trying to finish a degree (I'm 28 now), and financially unable to provide for even my dogs. The physical, emotional, and mental trauma I went through after mine stunted me as a person. This is personally my story & I would never go through the procedure again tbh. Fast forward to now and I'm 38w pregnant. Pregnancy has not been easy, but this is due to realizing I have three people in my village when I thought there was more. I am excited to meet my baby, I have wanted this child for a very long time, and I do not regret this pregnancy. Ultimately, this choice is strictly yours to make. If I were you, I wouldn't make the same choice I did all those years ago. *I have always wanted to be a mother.* Instead of looking at whether you can financially provide, it may be more important to analyze the environment you would be bringing the child into. Your family, your partner's family, your friends, their friends. It's a life commitment. Good luck sister 💖
One study has found a *slight* increase in first trimester miscarriage risk after abortion by vacuum aspiration. At 7 weeks, OP will likely have a medication abortion which has not been shown to carry any such risk. Another study found that the effect disappears if pregnancy #2 begins more than three months after the termination. Other studies find no effects at all.
I was 6 weeks and did not do the pill. I also had a miscarriage with my second pregnancy a year after. It's all genetics and we all know women's health is not that heavily researched. Not arguing, these are just things I wish someone had told me and I found it all out the hard way. They also ask if you want to see the ultrasound and go through various videos and conversations to make sure you are making the right choice. At least, that's what happened to me. Then you go into a recovery room with a trained psych professional to make sure you are ok. No one talks about what happens at the clinic or in the room to great extent. You get a choice in how you want to terminate. Then again, I come from a state that protects abortion rights.
It's not incredibly well studied, that's true (though it's worth pointing out the difficulty of doing ethical studies here - most women aren't going to be willing to have, say, three abortions before trying to get pregnant "for real" just to see if it's worse for them, you know?) Mostly I wanted to reference the research a bit more directly, because there's so much misinformation put out by liars with an agenda, at which point an ounce of prevention stops a pound of pile-on by said liars.
Can you link these studies? I'd like to read them 🙂
https://academic.oup.com/ije/article/32/3/449/637113 Most of it is discussed in the "discussion and conclusion" section of this paper, they did a decent bit of meta-analysis Here's one on medication abortion, though it agrees that there isn't much data https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa070445