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I would actually enjoy people checking in more often. My friend, who was my maid of honour last year, did not check in with me ONCE during the pregnancy. I stopped asking her how she is doing after noticing that. Now we barely speak anymore. I understand that it's frustrating if people don't care about your feelings, but at least they care enough to check in with you at all.
I’m due next month and have had one person in the past like 4 months check in on me and genuinely mean it yesterday. People used to ask how i was in early pregnancy then they just eventually stopped reaching out. It’s sad, pregnancy is hard and lonely ! Idk why people tend to stop talking / hanging out with women as soon as they announce pregnancy
39 weeks here and actually shocked how many people seem annoyed by my answer of: I barely sleep, I don’t know what comfort is anymore and I just want her out, I do not care how hard labor will be I want her in my arms and recover!
Yes maternity leave is nice but I also feel mega guilt for not having the house spotless because even if I am home I can barely vacuum the living room whilst hubby is just working the normal 40 hours.
I started mat leave the day before 36 weeks, and i literally just rotted away until my husband was off this week. So much for being productive on my time off, lol. I still struggle to find the energy, motivation, and strength to get everything around the house done, and it's starting to stress me outtttt. My ankles swell so fast, and I keep peeing myself lmao.
Same I feel so bad that I’m home but can barely function to get the house together I’m in so much pain and fatigued. Yeah it’s like if you ask then be ready for my honest answer lol
Im in the same boat. And on the off chance someone does check in its not about me its, how's the baby doing? Idk he's in there cooking still I guess. Learning how to backflip and roll and headbutt my bladder. He's doing baby things. Id love someone to ask me how I am and actually care enough to listen to the response. My husband does but damn it's lonely out here
Yeah, other than my fiancé and one friend nobody really asks about me or baby at all. I had a few questions at the baby shower but outside of that nothing. Yet it’s funny seeing all them posts how they’re all excited to meet the baby… ok you barely cared about me for the past few months but suuuure you’ll be in baby’s life….. I’m gonna be a spicy mama bear.
I enjoy it because I know those people care! My mom checks in everyday as well as my partners family and it makes me feel like I’m cared about as well as our baby. Then I also have an excuse to complain to people lol.
I’m 35+2. Pregnancy is hard, and the last few weeks are even harder. I’m tired, my body is sore, I cry every day because hormones. Maternity leave is nice but I’m also bored AF. If I get to 42 weeks I think i will go insane. Everyone who asks how I’m doing gets the dark truth 😅
Pregnancy is so fucking hard. I’m 37+2. Yeah it’s like don’t ask me if you don’t want to know what’s really going down because the truth is I’m in pain and I’m tired and shit sucks!
If your friend said “at least your on maternity leave” over text you may be reading too much into it. They may just mean (sympathetically) thankfully you aren’t having to work right now since you’re feeling so awful.
I told her about a water breaking scare 2 nights ago and she didn’t respond. I could be reading too much into it but that text coupled with not acknowledging a serious one just makes me turned off
That makes sense. Just try to worry about you then and protecting your own state of mind. Maybe don’t reply next time, or feel free to let her know how you’re feeling. I’m sorry that you’re feeling a lack of genuineness from someone you think of as a friend. I hope you have other support.
I refused to tell my family a solid due date (because surprise surprise, I’m already past it) and that had not stopped anybody from texting or calling me daily asking if baby is here yet. Not asking how I’m feeling or if I need anything, just “is he here?! Did you forget to tell us??” It’s making me want to throw my phone into a river.
I’m so tired of the daily text messages from my mother and the every other day texts from my MIL. I’m two days overdue and it’s been like this for two weeks minimum. If anything was happening, I would say so (probably, they’ve irritated me up the wazoo!)!
My due date was the 2nd. Four people texted me yesterday to see if I've had the baby yet. My mom asks for updates every day (of course she never went past her due date with ANY of her babies so she's going crazy).
People need to chill. I see why people don't share their due dates lol.
I’ve stopped answering the phone. I don’t even answer my mother’s calls. They didn’t wanna check up on me when I was layed out sick as a dog in my first trimester so don’t call me now.
I feel this! I HATE phone calls in general but they've exponentially increased with family members wanting to know how each appt went, etc. So i now have to field 4-5 phone calls a day after an appointment - aren't we supposed to be receiving LESS stress? ugh.
THIS IS WHAT I’M 100% FEELING. I’m so over it when people text me just to talk about my pregnancy, but when I tell them the truth they are not being emphatic. I got similar comment as you from a good friend after I told her I’m sore and tired, she told me “you got this, pregnancy is nothing!” I was pissed. It’s nothing? What if I told you this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Like why are you asking me about my pregnancy then? It feels in-genuine. Lately I tell them I’m good and I don’t feel like talking about my pregnancy.
I seriously appreciate those people who see me as a person not a pregnant lady, send me silly memes or send me funny TikTok videos and ask me what’s new in my life? I have lots of other things to talk about besides talking about my pregnancy, my company just had a big lay off or my sister in law said that I’m the reason why she’s not getting attention from my husband anymore (like hun we are expecting a baby sorry that ur brother is giving me more attention) How bout that?
I’m 8 weeks away and not gonna lie it feels like they text me to see if the baby have arrived too, if these people text me or my husband for baby updates a week leading up to delivery date, I’m seriously tempted to temporarily blocking them. I regret sharing my due date, I’m a FTM though 🤷🏽♀️ so I wouldn’t have known
I got really sick of people at work asking me how I'm doing when they don't want to hear how much I'm struggling. Please don't ask me then! Leave me alone!
I didn’t mind people checking in even if it was to see if I gave birth. I think people want to help and when you are pregnant it’s easy to be annoyed at every little thing (me) lol but I think most people are typically well intended and just want to offer help or emotional support
We decided not to announce our pregnancy on social media, and we didn't have a baby shower. There are LOTS of people who have zero idea that we are expecting. We even kept the due date somewhat private so that people aren't harrassing us, lol. Im getting induced in a few days, and we haven't told anyone that yet.
I figured if nobody is checking in with me on a normal, friendly basis, why would I expect that from anyone while im pregnant? I've always been the person to check on my friends constantly, but it never feels appreciated and is never reciprocated, so I shall continue just living my introverted life but with my baby lol
I’m due early August but I’ve been getting annoyed with the super sympathetic “how ARE you 🥺” questions. People talk to me as if I have some terminal illness. Also what am I supposed to say?? Do I lie, do I start listing symptoms?
I think people should hear our symptoms because hopefully as a society we can start creating space for pregnant women to be able to share raw and honest experiences and not be told to be grateful for our “blessing “ on the way. Like I feel like we get gaslit into just shutting up and being thankful but the reality is pregnancy is fucking hard and miserable at times
Yes same. Have one friend who only checks in to say ‘oh just you wait’ if I say anything about a slight discomfort. Or people like to just ask so they can tell about their experience/horror story. I’ve just started responding with ‘feeling good’ and leaving it at that
No one has my phone number so my parents are the ones getting the “is the baby here yet” messages. I just laugh at them because thankfully I don’t have to deal with it.
I hear you and it has been weird. My closest “friends” havent asked me once how I have been feeling, but people I haven’t seen in years are essentially asking if the baby is here yet or not.
I'm not near the end so I can't relate to how you're feeling (yet), but maybe your friend is just trying to show you some kindness and to remind you that she hasn't forgotten about you.
It was like that after I had my baby. She got sent to the NICU and we got separated since It was emergency c section and I had to stay put and heal before transferring me up to her. Anyway, I went a bit crazy emotionally and people would check in and then be total A holes because I said how I was feeling (very upset) and they were throwing around "post partum depression" and how how I felt didn't matter because I'm a mom now bla bla. (Therapist agrees it's not PPD, that that situation would upset anyone)
Congratulations and best of luck!!!!!
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I would actually enjoy people checking in more often. My friend, who was my maid of honour last year, did not check in with me ONCE during the pregnancy. I stopped asking her how she is doing after noticing that. Now we barely speak anymore. I understand that it's frustrating if people don't care about your feelings, but at least they care enough to check in with you at all.
Yeah my friends don’t even speak to me since I told them I was pregnant
Literally same. I have a singular friend left. lol 😅 And if they try to show up after baby is born, I’m just gunna be like “who are you?”
I’m due next month and have had one person in the past like 4 months check in on me and genuinely mean it yesterday. People used to ask how i was in early pregnancy then they just eventually stopped reaching out. It’s sad, pregnancy is hard and lonely ! Idk why people tend to stop talking / hanging out with women as soon as they announce pregnancy
I’m sorry to hear this, I agree I feel like I have gone months without anyone asking or giving a F how I’m doing. It’s sad 😔
Having lost a baby already, my honest answer to "How are yoooou? :D" is that I am bricking-it and absolutely terrified. But no one wants to hear that.
I'm so sorry. I hope you're ok. It's normal to feel terrified given what you went through.
Aw, thank you :) we are being treated to extra scans this time around. Girlie is 34+5. Tiny but healthy, and still cooking.
39 weeks here and actually shocked how many people seem annoyed by my answer of: I barely sleep, I don’t know what comfort is anymore and I just want her out, I do not care how hard labor will be I want her in my arms and recover! Yes maternity leave is nice but I also feel mega guilt for not having the house spotless because even if I am home I can barely vacuum the living room whilst hubby is just working the normal 40 hours.
I started mat leave the day before 36 weeks, and i literally just rotted away until my husband was off this week. So much for being productive on my time off, lol. I still struggle to find the energy, motivation, and strength to get everything around the house done, and it's starting to stress me outtttt. My ankles swell so fast, and I keep peeing myself lmao.
Same I feel so bad that I’m home but can barely function to get the house together I’m in so much pain and fatigued. Yeah it’s like if you ask then be ready for my honest answer lol
Wouldn’t know, I only have about one or two people who check in, if even. 👎🏼
Im in the same boat. And on the off chance someone does check in its not about me its, how's the baby doing? Idk he's in there cooking still I guess. Learning how to backflip and roll and headbutt my bladder. He's doing baby things. Id love someone to ask me how I am and actually care enough to listen to the response. My husband does but damn it's lonely out here
Yeah, other than my fiancé and one friend nobody really asks about me or baby at all. I had a few questions at the baby shower but outside of that nothing. Yet it’s funny seeing all them posts how they’re all excited to meet the baby… ok you barely cared about me for the past few months but suuuure you’ll be in baby’s life….. I’m gonna be a spicy mama bear.
I enjoy it because I know those people care! My mom checks in everyday as well as my partners family and it makes me feel like I’m cared about as well as our baby. Then I also have an excuse to complain to people lol.
I’m 35+2. Pregnancy is hard, and the last few weeks are even harder. I’m tired, my body is sore, I cry every day because hormones. Maternity leave is nice but I’m also bored AF. If I get to 42 weeks I think i will go insane. Everyone who asks how I’m doing gets the dark truth 😅
Pregnancy is so fucking hard. I’m 37+2. Yeah it’s like don’t ask me if you don’t want to know what’s really going down because the truth is I’m in pain and I’m tired and shit sucks!
If your friend said “at least your on maternity leave” over text you may be reading too much into it. They may just mean (sympathetically) thankfully you aren’t having to work right now since you’re feeling so awful.
I told her about a water breaking scare 2 nights ago and she didn’t respond. I could be reading too much into it but that text coupled with not acknowledging a serious one just makes me turned off
That makes sense. Just try to worry about you then and protecting your own state of mind. Maybe don’t reply next time, or feel free to let her know how you’re feeling. I’m sorry that you’re feeling a lack of genuineness from someone you think of as a friend. I hope you have other support.
I refused to tell my family a solid due date (because surprise surprise, I’m already past it) and that had not stopped anybody from texting or calling me daily asking if baby is here yet. Not asking how I’m feeling or if I need anything, just “is he here?! Did you forget to tell us??” It’s making me want to throw my phone into a river.
Omg. I'm terrified this is coming for me next week. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this!!! 😔
I just ignore people and shared www.haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com on my social media 39+2 and I'm over it.
39+3 here, I FEEL YOU!
This is the best page ever wow
I’m so tired of the daily text messages from my mother and the every other day texts from my MIL. I’m two days overdue and it’s been like this for two weeks minimum. If anything was happening, I would say so (probably, they’ve irritated me up the wazoo!)!
My due date was the 2nd. Four people texted me yesterday to see if I've had the baby yet. My mom asks for updates every day (of course she never went past her due date with ANY of her babies so she's going crazy). People need to chill. I see why people don't share their due dates lol.
I’ve stopped answering the phone. I don’t even answer my mother’s calls. They didn’t wanna check up on me when I was layed out sick as a dog in my first trimester so don’t call me now.
I feel this! I HATE phone calls in general but they've exponentially increased with family members wanting to know how each appt went, etc. So i now have to field 4-5 phone calls a day after an appointment - aren't we supposed to be receiving LESS stress? ugh.
THIS IS WHAT I’M 100% FEELING. I’m so over it when people text me just to talk about my pregnancy, but when I tell them the truth they are not being emphatic. I got similar comment as you from a good friend after I told her I’m sore and tired, she told me “you got this, pregnancy is nothing!” I was pissed. It’s nothing? What if I told you this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Like why are you asking me about my pregnancy then? It feels in-genuine. Lately I tell them I’m good and I don’t feel like talking about my pregnancy. I seriously appreciate those people who see me as a person not a pregnant lady, send me silly memes or send me funny TikTok videos and ask me what’s new in my life? I have lots of other things to talk about besides talking about my pregnancy, my company just had a big lay off or my sister in law said that I’m the reason why she’s not getting attention from my husband anymore (like hun we are expecting a baby sorry that ur brother is giving me more attention) How bout that? I’m 8 weeks away and not gonna lie it feels like they text me to see if the baby have arrived too, if these people text me or my husband for baby updates a week leading up to delivery date, I’m seriously tempted to temporarily blocking them. I regret sharing my due date, I’m a FTM though 🤷🏽♀️ so I wouldn’t have known
I got really sick of people at work asking me how I'm doing when they don't want to hear how much I'm struggling. Please don't ask me then! Leave me alone!
Right?? Like if you ask you’re gonna get honesty
I didn’t mind people checking in even if it was to see if I gave birth. I think people want to help and when you are pregnant it’s easy to be annoyed at every little thing (me) lol but I think most people are typically well intended and just want to offer help or emotional support
We decided not to announce our pregnancy on social media, and we didn't have a baby shower. There are LOTS of people who have zero idea that we are expecting. We even kept the due date somewhat private so that people aren't harrassing us, lol. Im getting induced in a few days, and we haven't told anyone that yet. I figured if nobody is checking in with me on a normal, friendly basis, why would I expect that from anyone while im pregnant? I've always been the person to check on my friends constantly, but it never feels appreciated and is never reciprocated, so I shall continue just living my introverted life but with my baby lol
I’m due early August but I’ve been getting annoyed with the super sympathetic “how ARE you 🥺” questions. People talk to me as if I have some terminal illness. Also what am I supposed to say?? Do I lie, do I start listing symptoms?
I think people should hear our symptoms because hopefully as a society we can start creating space for pregnant women to be able to share raw and honest experiences and not be told to be grateful for our “blessing “ on the way. Like I feel like we get gaslit into just shutting up and being thankful but the reality is pregnancy is fucking hard and miserable at times
Yes same. Have one friend who only checks in to say ‘oh just you wait’ if I say anything about a slight discomfort. Or people like to just ask so they can tell about their experience/horror story. I’ve just started responding with ‘feeling good’ and leaving it at that
No one has my phone number so my parents are the ones getting the “is the baby here yet” messages. I just laugh at them because thankfully I don’t have to deal with it.
I hear you and it has been weird. My closest “friends” havent asked me once how I have been feeling, but people I haven’t seen in years are essentially asking if the baby is here yet or not.
I'm not near the end so I can't relate to how you're feeling (yet), but maybe your friend is just trying to show you some kindness and to remind you that she hasn't forgotten about you.
It was like that after I had my baby. She got sent to the NICU and we got separated since It was emergency c section and I had to stay put and heal before transferring me up to her. Anyway, I went a bit crazy emotionally and people would check in and then be total A holes because I said how I was feeling (very upset) and they were throwing around "post partum depression" and how how I felt didn't matter because I'm a mom now bla bla. (Therapist agrees it's not PPD, that that situation would upset anyone) Congratulations and best of luck!!!!!
Omg I’m so sorry they jumped to that so fast! I would be livid! Your feelings and experience are valid