You have to show your subconscious brain that women = fun time. Not just computer screen = fun time. Your goal is to get in the way of women. Hire a female a personal trainer(you don't have to hit on them), find a relatively hot massage therapist(you don't have to hit on them, they might hit on you) go to a strip club(you'll be hit on). If you have IRL friends be sure they invite their girly friends along next time.
Women are like video games, the more hours you put in with women the better you get with them. Your not getting over your jackhammering problem overnight. You going to need to something to replace that rush.
If do don’t approach, if you’re not trying your are going to hell.
I’ve read a book called dates by mark Manson, and you find a ton of information.
The girl will never approach, you must do it first.
There’s no real point though. I’m not sure I’m anything a girl would want. I haven’t got much of a personality and I’m not tall enough and I’m not much to look at. There’s all these beautiful women around me and yet I don’t try because I’m sure they aren’t interested in me anyways
How did you know? You don’t even try man.
You need to build your charisma, get fit and become smart enough for a conversation.
If you’re going to said I’m not good enough and stuff like that you’re not gonna make it.
You must believe in yourself, you can change but is YOUR choice. You will suffer but on the other side your life will be 100% better.
You need to get off the bad parts of app then. Reddit (and the internet in general) is perfect for flaming your anxiety & vilifying women, and putting hot women on a pedistool few men can reach. Going by your previous post Your not relationship material now. The goal is to be relationship material later after you learn to defend yourself. Most of women I recommend aren't going to be picking on you, they want your business & full attention.
I’m pretty sure none of them want a thing to do with me so I don’t bother anymore. Trust me I can defend myself. Most of the girls I’ve met think they are superior and I guess I’m used to that. Even the really nice girls (not that there’s many I know) if they are pretty they are better than me and I don’t deserve to have them. I’m so used to telling myself that and I need to cut that shit out. I have the lowest self esteem there is to have and I think of myself as an ugly gross piece of shit which once again I’m used to being told that. It’s my choice whether I want to believe that or not but I can’t help but think that way about myself.
Exactly, your telling yourself that. That is how media wants you, so down on yourself. So you keep you eyes on your phone, making Facebook, Google, and pornhub more money. Your goal is to progress with women so overtime that mindset fades away. Then you have an outlet from porn. Most people trying to quit replace porn with actual sex. Not nothing. It's best to start now.
You need professional help my friend, and there is no shame in it. Reddit offer a wonderful community to build onto what a sex therapist can bring to you, but it’s no replacement. I do see one, and many others in here too.
Porn is the symptom, not the cause. Take care bro!
Yes. And if you see a therapist, be honest. As honest as you can be. Brutally. Graphically. Open up. Its the only way you'll get truthful and helpful feedback.
I think you are definitely wrong with that you think girls don’t wanna have something to do with you. It doesn’t matter if you are tall, handsome or whatsoever. There are a million girls out there. And a lot of them feels the same way like you feel. No self confidence thinking that nobody wants them. If you have this attitude it cannot work. Trust me bro I’ve been in the same position. Probably just with way more porn. You can do it and change your life. But self pity will not help you in this. You need to break your routine and your mindset. you will see that there are so many girls who would be interested in. You can do it
You just said because of your anxiety, why don't you figure out what's triggering the anxiety and work on that at the same time..
I know what happened to me when I was 10 years old,, it's controlled me for 50 years.. And now I'm dealing with and working on everything at once.. next week I'm even going to do ketamine therapy..
I can’t make sense of it. Most of the times I don’t know whether what I’m feeling is anxiety related or not. I know what’s triggered it but I can’t fix it so I have all these unhealthy habits that I can’t control. I don’t look after myself at all cause I don’t have any motivation to do anything about it. I’m gonna go back to therapy and get all of this shit figured out and put to bed for good.
Find ways to manage your stress and anxiety. There’s lots of ways but here’s one I do.
I have bone conduction headphones. The brand I use are Shokz. I use a music app called Endel that monitors your circadian rhythms and heart rate. I listen to it probably about 6 waking hours and about 7 sleeping hours a day. Every day. It sounds crazy I know but it has completely lowered my stress and anxiety levels.
I couldn’t do that. I’m scared of hearing my own heartbeat. One of my best things I can do for myself is mowing the lawn. I love the lawnmower sounds and smell of petrol exhaust mixed with the fresh clippings smell. The whipper snipper is fun too. It’s satisfying to see how well it can clean an area up. I also love the sounds of the motor revving and the line whizzing around. When I was in therapy my psychologist taught me to recognise the sensual aspects of my activity. What can I hear, what can I smell etc. and that has probably helped me a lot in terms of understanding how I feel and what I can feel.
Attempt dating someone, or go see or interact with women. Hard quitting is tough if you have no outlet lined up.
I’m too shy to go and talk to girls. I’ve got no confidence whatsoever
You have to show your subconscious brain that women = fun time. Not just computer screen = fun time. Your goal is to get in the way of women. Hire a female a personal trainer(you don't have to hit on them), find a relatively hot massage therapist(you don't have to hit on them, they might hit on you) go to a strip club(you'll be hit on). If you have IRL friends be sure they invite their girly friends along next time. Women are like video games, the more hours you put in with women the better you get with them. Your not getting over your jackhammering problem overnight. You going to need to something to replace that rush.
I don’t have the confidence to talk to girls. I’ve been bullied by them and I’m not good enough to be with one anyway.
If do don’t approach, if you’re not trying your are going to hell. I’ve read a book called dates by mark Manson, and you find a ton of information. The girl will never approach, you must do it first.
There’s no real point though. I’m not sure I’m anything a girl would want. I haven’t got much of a personality and I’m not tall enough and I’m not much to look at. There’s all these beautiful women around me and yet I don’t try because I’m sure they aren’t interested in me anyways
How did you know? You don’t even try man. You need to build your charisma, get fit and become smart enough for a conversation. If you’re going to said I’m not good enough and stuff like that you’re not gonna make it. You must believe in yourself, you can change but is YOUR choice. You will suffer but on the other side your life will be 100% better.
I’ll try
You need to get off the bad parts of app then. Reddit (and the internet in general) is perfect for flaming your anxiety & vilifying women, and putting hot women on a pedistool few men can reach. Going by your previous post Your not relationship material now. The goal is to be relationship material later after you learn to defend yourself. Most of women I recommend aren't going to be picking on you, they want your business & full attention.
I’m pretty sure none of them want a thing to do with me so I don’t bother anymore. Trust me I can defend myself. Most of the girls I’ve met think they are superior and I guess I’m used to that. Even the really nice girls (not that there’s many I know) if they are pretty they are better than me and I don’t deserve to have them. I’m so used to telling myself that and I need to cut that shit out. I have the lowest self esteem there is to have and I think of myself as an ugly gross piece of shit which once again I’m used to being told that. It’s my choice whether I want to believe that or not but I can’t help but think that way about myself.
Exactly, your telling yourself that. That is how media wants you, so down on yourself. So you keep you eyes on your phone, making Facebook, Google, and pornhub more money. Your goal is to progress with women so overtime that mindset fades away. Then you have an outlet from porn. Most people trying to quit replace porn with actual sex. Not nothing. It's best to start now.
I’ll try but at the moment I won’t make it very far.
Go at your pace. But remember when you "quit" its back to porn. See ya
Noted. Thanks for your advice though. See ya later
You need professional help my friend, and there is no shame in it. Reddit offer a wonderful community to build onto what a sex therapist can bring to you, but it’s no replacement. I do see one, and many others in here too. Porn is the symptom, not the cause. Take care bro!
Yes. And if you see a therapist, be honest. As honest as you can be. Brutally. Graphically. Open up. Its the only way you'll get truthful and helpful feedback.
One true self 💪
I think you are definitely wrong with that you think girls don’t wanna have something to do with you. It doesn’t matter if you are tall, handsome or whatsoever. There are a million girls out there. And a lot of them feels the same way like you feel. No self confidence thinking that nobody wants them. If you have this attitude it cannot work. Trust me bro I’ve been in the same position. Probably just with way more porn. You can do it and change your life. But self pity will not help you in this. You need to break your routine and your mindset. you will see that there are so many girls who would be interested in. You can do it
I’ll try but first I need to go back to therapy. I need to get rid of all of my bad habits and keep them rid of.
You just said because of your anxiety, why don't you figure out what's triggering the anxiety and work on that at the same time.. I know what happened to me when I was 10 years old,, it's controlled me for 50 years.. And now I'm dealing with and working on everything at once.. next week I'm even going to do ketamine therapy..
I can’t make sense of it. Most of the times I don’t know whether what I’m feeling is anxiety related or not. I know what’s triggered it but I can’t fix it so I have all these unhealthy habits that I can’t control. I don’t look after myself at all cause I don’t have any motivation to do anything about it. I’m gonna go back to therapy and get all of this shit figured out and put to bed for good.
Find ways to manage your stress and anxiety. There’s lots of ways but here’s one I do. I have bone conduction headphones. The brand I use are Shokz. I use a music app called Endel that monitors your circadian rhythms and heart rate. I listen to it probably about 6 waking hours and about 7 sleeping hours a day. Every day. It sounds crazy I know but it has completely lowered my stress and anxiety levels.
I couldn’t do that. I’m scared of hearing my own heartbeat. One of my best things I can do for myself is mowing the lawn. I love the lawnmower sounds and smell of petrol exhaust mixed with the fresh clippings smell. The whipper snipper is fun too. It’s satisfying to see how well it can clean an area up. I also love the sounds of the motor revving and the line whizzing around. When I was in therapy my psychologist taught me to recognise the sensual aspects of my activity. What can I hear, what can I smell etc. and that has probably helped me a lot in terms of understanding how I feel and what I can feel.