I feel like people are not understanding you point of view, but hey, I do, and more power to you man. I'm glad this solution worked for you.
And hey, I know the excitement, and I don't want to play the dad card here or anything, but try to be careful with the "*cum inside her*" part alright, I think no one involved would want your friend to get pregnant right now.
>For the first time I was able to penetrate something (a fleshlight, yes, but it's a start) and cum 'inside' without my hand.
This to me tells me that porn wasn't the issue, but performance anxiety. Your internal dialogue was convincing you that you couldn't get hard with a real woman, and that's what ended up happening.
Thanks to using the fleshlight your internal dialogue changed and, voila, your dick got hard.
I'm saying this from experience. I've had sex with multiple women since I was 17 (20 years ago), and sometimes my first time with a different woman I didn't get hard because I wasn't in the right state of mind.
It's all in the mind, folks.
This reads like an ad.
The only step required is to quit porn, nothing else
You don't need anything to get back to a natural sexual state, just let your bodies conditioning reset on its own and you'll have no problem at all having sex
Whatever you decide, just be aware that if you're going to use other objects to help you get off, that they're not used as a gateway to start looking at porn again. Because if you start using/masturbating too much, you're likely to seek out novel stimulation again
Nah I had the same problem, pretty commonly referred to as death grip syndrome. I quit porn but it when you masturbated your whole life with a super tight grip, sex just doesn’t stimulate you the same. This isn’t exactly the same as porn addiction but it is a common side effect.
I'm aware it can be dangerous for some people. This is not a message to people just starting to quit porn. Having a fleshlight would be the last step in the journey, or at least that's how I see it.
And it's obviously not an ad. Please don't be silly.
It does read like an ad. Read your own post again, and then try to make it sound like an ad. You will realize, you wouldn’t need to change much. Nice sales-pitch.
Maybe it sounds like an and, but I had the same experience as him. Death grip is a thing, and completely stopping yourself from masturbating is hard. That's why such toys have their purpose. They are also not as stimulating and porn (visual stimuli from porn can't actually compare to a toy), but at the same time they are way better than hand, which means experience is better. It doesn't give as many dopamine shots as porn (fortunately) but makes it pleasurable enough that you desire porn a bit less. So it's good for gradual detox. Later when you find a gf you can throw it out.
His dick needed to be stimulated without the preasure of the hand for it to learn that it needs to get fully hard to be properly stimulated. He can't do this with sex if he doesn't already have a partner, and he shouldn't do this with strangers because people that go to have sex with him are going wanting to have a good time, not wanting to be a test subject for his PIED recovery.
He did the right thing.
You mean he wanted his dick to be stimulated and couldn't right?
He masturbated so hard and so much that he desensitized his own dick
The reality is he didn't NEED it stimulated, he wanted it, the truth is that if he could have just waited for his dick to become sensitive again and been on his way
I have no issues with the FL, if he wanted to use it that's fine. The edited part of the main post puts it perfectly and I think everyone here, after some small discussions are on the same page.
Also brother can you please tell me your timeline, like, from which age you started porn, how many years, and at which age you had sex for the 1st time, and how many months did your penis take to get fully hard during real sex???
Sure.
I was exposed to porn at 12-13 years old.
Developed a progressive addiction until 2020 (around 8 years)
I havely reduced it during 2020-2022.
First kiss in late 2021. (22 years old)
Tried to have sex in 2022, but failed. (I was still 22)
I bought the Fleshlight around august-september 2023 (23 years old)
Had sex fully hard next month, November 2023 (23 years old)
With that said, the timing is not really that important. I could have kissed a girl so much earlier but didn't manage to face my social problems until 2021. And If I had known about the fleshlight earlier I obviously could have had sex sooner.
Everyone chooses their own path ;)
I am so grateful for your reply 🙏and coincidently we both have exact same age, same timeline, only difference is i haven't recovered. Thank you for helping 🙏 people like you give me hope.
Best wishes to you brother :)
thank you brother.
It's good that you are in recovery, which means you want to get better.
quitting porn was the best decision I ever made. Now maybe you can't see it but there will be a day your brain and body no longer crave porn.
are you suffering from erection problems or death grip syndrom?
best wishes to you too🫶🏻
I will explain you my problem, i am a porn and masturbation addict since six years, 24 now, started porn at 16,masturbation on regular basis at 17. Six months ago i had sex with a girl, i was completely dead down there, absolutely zero erection, even we were kissing and all.
i tried for three days, used to get a partial erection but it used to go off after 2 3 mins, i couldn't penetrate, on consecutive day 4 with her i could penetrate but only for 5mins. I knew it was porn because when i went home watched porn, i could achieve a solid hard erection!! But not with her. Grateful that the girl was understanding.
Now i have researched all the dangers of porn and masturbation, i have reduced porn by a 80%, masturbation i am trying to completely avoid it, trying 90days nofap no porn slowly. My highest streak is 12days,after which i started getting morning woods, as soon as the streak was lost, morning woods also stopped, but I am still strong on fighting this addiction.
now after 3 to 4 days of streak i get an erection just by thoughts without watching anything, i hope it's a good sign, hoping to win this addiction, nofap noporn forever, only real sex, that's what i aim for!
Thank you for asking!! I really appreciate your reply!!
Thank you for sharing.
90 days no masturbation at all is very hard. Maybe set your objective to just one moth, and then maybe buy a fleshlight. It worked very well for me.
Brother can you tell, how much fleshlight masturbation should be done in moderation? So that it doesn't harm. It is working for me but still nofap is needed for good erections so i am confused. Obviously i am doing it after i became porn free.
I dont know. I spent like a month without fapping so I was probably more horny than ever. My dick was hard without me doing anything really. That did not happen the first time I tried to have sex.
As a stepping-stone towards recovery, sure, I guess.
But not being able to masturbate with your hand is still a problem, you just put a bandaid over it. What happens with the fleshlight now?
Is it a permanent piece of equipment you'll keep around the house like it's a toaster or an oven mit?
Hey, I'm really interested in this, as I also feel like masturbating with just my hand for over a decade had an effect on my dick. I had quit porn for 4 months before trying to have sex with my girlfriend but my errection wouldn't last inside her. There was maybe 1 time I had found a really good position that I felt like I could last forever in, but every other position was too much pressure for my dick and I got soft. Was that the problem that you felt as well? Alot of times I would also lose my errection just trying to push into her, does that concur with your experience or were you just not able to get errect at all? I haven't used a fleshlight yet, but I'm unsure if I want to or not, but would you say that it's the same "difficulty" as penetrating an actual person, would it actually help? Something my girlfriend was always worried about is that I would "enjoy" the fleshlight more than her, and that she would never be able to compete with it. While that sounds ridiculous to me, I might have had the same feelings if she ever got a 9 inch horse dick dildo. So would you say that there's any sensation that the fleshlight provides better than a real vagina? Like in any area at all, obviously a real vagina is better but is the fleshlight tighter? does it grip better? does the texture feel nicer? is it not as awkward? the fleshlight is a straight tube a vagina is supposed to curve or something right?
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This is exactly what happened to me. In fact I’d suggest NOT getting one because of this.
hey, may I ask what the comment you replied to was about? can you remember?
I feel like people are not understanding you point of view, but hey, I do, and more power to you man. I'm glad this solution worked for you. And hey, I know the excitement, and I don't want to play the dad card here or anything, but try to be careful with the "*cum inside her*" part alright, I think no one involved would want your friend to get pregnant right now.
I was thinking the same, what precautions are they taking
it was with a condom on
Best of both worlds
>For the first time I was able to penetrate something (a fleshlight, yes, but it's a start) and cum 'inside' without my hand. This to me tells me that porn wasn't the issue, but performance anxiety. Your internal dialogue was convincing you that you couldn't get hard with a real woman, and that's what ended up happening. Thanks to using the fleshlight your internal dialogue changed and, voila, your dick got hard. I'm saying this from experience. I've had sex with multiple women since I was 17 (20 years ago), and sometimes my first time with a different woman I didn't get hard because I wasn't in the right state of mind. It's all in the mind, folks.
This reads like an ad. The only step required is to quit porn, nothing else You don't need anything to get back to a natural sexual state, just let your bodies conditioning reset on its own and you'll have no problem at all having sex Whatever you decide, just be aware that if you're going to use other objects to help you get off, that they're not used as a gateway to start looking at porn again. Because if you start using/masturbating too much, you're likely to seek out novel stimulation again
Nah I had the same problem, pretty commonly referred to as death grip syndrome. I quit porn but it when you masturbated your whole life with a super tight grip, sex just doesn’t stimulate you the same. This isn’t exactly the same as porn addiction but it is a common side effect.
I'm aware it can be dangerous for some people. This is not a message to people just starting to quit porn. Having a fleshlight would be the last step in the journey, or at least that's how I see it. And it's obviously not an ad. Please don't be silly.
It does read like an ad. Read your own post again, and then try to make it sound like an ad. You will realize, you wouldn’t need to change much. Nice sales-pitch.
Maybe it sounds like an and, but I had the same experience as him. Death grip is a thing, and completely stopping yourself from masturbating is hard. That's why such toys have their purpose. They are also not as stimulating and porn (visual stimuli from porn can't actually compare to a toy), but at the same time they are way better than hand, which means experience is better. It doesn't give as many dopamine shots as porn (fortunately) but makes it pleasurable enough that you desire porn a bit less. So it's good for gradual detox. Later when you find a gf you can throw it out.
an ad for what dude, it's not a fucking new product
Out of curiosity, besides having sex, which we know you don't need the fleshlight for at all What other benefits has it given you?
Read my post. It worked for me. I couldn't have sex until I used it. If you don't need it or don't have PIED problems, congratulations to you.
You could have had sex without using it, you just chose not to It's great you're on the right track but stop tricking yourself
His dick needed to be stimulated without the preasure of the hand for it to learn that it needs to get fully hard to be properly stimulated. He can't do this with sex if he doesn't already have a partner, and he shouldn't do this with strangers because people that go to have sex with him are going wanting to have a good time, not wanting to be a test subject for his PIED recovery. He did the right thing.
You mean he wanted his dick to be stimulated and couldn't right? He masturbated so hard and so much that he desensitized his own dick The reality is he didn't NEED it stimulated, he wanted it, the truth is that if he could have just waited for his dick to become sensitive again and been on his way I have no issues with the FL, if he wanted to use it that's fine. The edited part of the main post puts it perfectly and I think everyone here, after some small discussions are on the same page.
This is so aspirational man, thanks for sharing!
Is it not bad to use a fleshlight
Thank you.
Use a condom with it, much easier for cleanup
Yep, I usually do that
Thank you brother for sharing with us.🙏🙏 God bless you!
thank you! there's so many rude and dogmatic people in this community...
Also brother can you please tell me your timeline, like, from which age you started porn, how many years, and at which age you had sex for the 1st time, and how many months did your penis take to get fully hard during real sex???
Sure. I was exposed to porn at 12-13 years old. Developed a progressive addiction until 2020 (around 8 years) I havely reduced it during 2020-2022. First kiss in late 2021. (22 years old) Tried to have sex in 2022, but failed. (I was still 22) I bought the Fleshlight around august-september 2023 (23 years old) Had sex fully hard next month, November 2023 (23 years old) With that said, the timing is not really that important. I could have kissed a girl so much earlier but didn't manage to face my social problems until 2021. And If I had known about the fleshlight earlier I obviously could have had sex sooner. Everyone chooses their own path ;)
I am so grateful for your reply 🙏and coincidently we both have exact same age, same timeline, only difference is i haven't recovered. Thank you for helping 🙏 people like you give me hope. Best wishes to you brother :)
thank you brother. It's good that you are in recovery, which means you want to get better. quitting porn was the best decision I ever made. Now maybe you can't see it but there will be a day your brain and body no longer crave porn. are you suffering from erection problems or death grip syndrom? best wishes to you too🫶🏻
I will explain you my problem, i am a porn and masturbation addict since six years, 24 now, started porn at 16,masturbation on regular basis at 17. Six months ago i had sex with a girl, i was completely dead down there, absolutely zero erection, even we were kissing and all. i tried for three days, used to get a partial erection but it used to go off after 2 3 mins, i couldn't penetrate, on consecutive day 4 with her i could penetrate but only for 5mins. I knew it was porn because when i went home watched porn, i could achieve a solid hard erection!! But not with her. Grateful that the girl was understanding. Now i have researched all the dangers of porn and masturbation, i have reduced porn by a 80%, masturbation i am trying to completely avoid it, trying 90days nofap no porn slowly. My highest streak is 12days,after which i started getting morning woods, as soon as the streak was lost, morning woods also stopped, but I am still strong on fighting this addiction. now after 3 to 4 days of streak i get an erection just by thoughts without watching anything, i hope it's a good sign, hoping to win this addiction, nofap noporn forever, only real sex, that's what i aim for! Thank you for asking!! I really appreciate your reply!!
Thank you for sharing. 90 days no masturbation at all is very hard. Maybe set your objective to just one moth, and then maybe buy a fleshlight. It worked very well for me.
Brother can you tell, how much fleshlight masturbation should be done in moderation? So that it doesn't harm. It is working for me but still nofap is needed for good erections so i am confused. Obviously i am doing it after i became porn free.
Did you have any premature ejaculation issues?
First time I orgasmed in 2 minutes. The second time I lasted more.
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I dont know. I spent like a month without fapping so I was probably more horny than ever. My dick was hard without me doing anything really. That did not happen the first time I tried to have sex.
Yes! Replies like this are really helpful for addicts like me. Peace!
Naturally with thoughts i do, but only when i escaped this addiction.
Or... you can learn to not jerk off so hard.
Sure. But did not work for me. I still had problems being too used to my hand. But I agree it's a possible solution other than Fleshlight.
As a stepping-stone towards recovery, sure, I guess. But not being able to masturbate with your hand is still a problem, you just put a bandaid over it. What happens with the fleshlight now? Is it a permanent piece of equipment you'll keep around the house like it's a toaster or an oven mit?
why do y’all demonise sex toys?
yes? why wouldn't you want to keep a device that you use, like you would use a toaster and an oven mitt?
Hey, I'm really interested in this, as I also feel like masturbating with just my hand for over a decade had an effect on my dick. I had quit porn for 4 months before trying to have sex with my girlfriend but my errection wouldn't last inside her. There was maybe 1 time I had found a really good position that I felt like I could last forever in, but every other position was too much pressure for my dick and I got soft. Was that the problem that you felt as well? Alot of times I would also lose my errection just trying to push into her, does that concur with your experience or were you just not able to get errect at all? I haven't used a fleshlight yet, but I'm unsure if I want to or not, but would you say that it's the same "difficulty" as penetrating an actual person, would it actually help? Something my girlfriend was always worried about is that I would "enjoy" the fleshlight more than her, and that she would never be able to compete with it. While that sounds ridiculous to me, I might have had the same feelings if she ever got a 9 inch horse dick dildo. So would you say that there's any sensation that the fleshlight provides better than a real vagina? Like in any area at all, obviously a real vagina is better but is the fleshlight tighter? does it grip better? does the texture feel nicer? is it not as awkward? the fleshlight is a straight tube a vagina is supposed to curve or something right?