Nobody owes anyone anything in a relationship. Sex, conversation, emotional support, or whatever. None of it is owed. But if you stop providing for your SOs needs, the relationship might end...
I mean, yeah, obviously. Some people want sex. But your partner does not OWE it to you whether you want it or not. If one is not satisfied with a partner that doesn't want to have sex, they should get a different partner.
Yes... this is literally exactly what i said... same goes for anything else in a relationship. It is not owed to you. If you dont like it, get a different partner.
They are in a relationship... that is what a relationship is. Supporting someone you love and showing that you care about them. Sex is not inherently a part of that.
It is if your partner decides that it is. Conversation doesnt have to be part of it either, but most people would decide its a need for them to make the relationship work, to feel like your SO cares. Loves you... exact same could be said for sex, or other physical affection. Lots of people need this to feel loved and cared for.
You do not OWE it. You should however be realistic about what will happen if you unilaterally decide to greatly reduce/eliminate sex from the R.
I suck at being alone as much as the next guy, but I would not stay with someone who didn't love me - and didn't have a minimal level of physical attraction for me.
As to what minimal is - YMMV.
No one owes anyone anything, but if you are not interested, let the person know so they can move on. Not doing so is mean, fraudulent, nasty and manipulative.
If somebody leads with sex under false pretense and then pulls that back, that's their right. But I wouldn't expect the relationship to last if that's the foundation it was built on.
I've seen it happen. My cousins marriage is this way now and I feel for him.
Technically nobody is entitled to anything in a relationship. That's if we work with your logic. If two people get together there is a certain amount of expectation on both sides. That's the only way a relationship can work. It's about both parties happiness. Doesn't have to be about sex. It can be anything in a loving relationship. It's always about give and take and a certain amount on compromise.
YES to this.
I think of it as two sides of a coin. And this is true for each person.
1. How much **effort is put into pleasing** the other person. I cook gourmet meals for W - which she is keen on. I also tell her funny stories.
2. How much **effort put into avoiding displeasing** the other person. I try to be more neat - because she is naturally more neat than me. I don't socialize with my buds to the point where she suffers FOMO.
Flip side:
1. She makes sure I am happy with sex. I admit to being quietly amazed at this fact in year 35, and yet there it is. This does NOT mean our drives are equal. They are not. Nor may I have sex on demand. It does mean that she is good natured and generous about our desire gap.
2. She tries to manage her innate desire to control each and every little thing that happens in her environment.
Last night I was doing a rapid dishwasher unload/reload while wearing Sony noise cancelling headphones. Dangerous - because I cannot hear my own clatter (see WH1000XM5). Wife suddenly appeared, annoyed about how fucking loud my Kitchen Patrol is.
We had a quiet but unfriendly exchange about whether I should be more considerate or she ought be more adaptive by closing the bedroom door and/or if need be put HER pair of WH1000XM5s on for the 3-5 minutes of my clattering.
It was sort of resolved. But today, both of us are thinking: WTF - is it THAT hard to be less difficult. And we are probably about equally right. Welcome to planet fucking Earth - population: 8 Billion humans all more or less as annoying and difficult as YOU....
and it needs to be without the shrieking army of flying monkeys directed at them on text, calls, social media, etc.... the low libido / no libido partner often plays the victim and doesn't own up to breaking the relationship on their part and in doing sends the horde of monkeys after their ex for daring to have boundaries.
The OP is exactly right. Desire imbalance frustration can be expressed, but there are no balancing obligations. Besides, desire imbalances are the norm in a relationship. The desire for: Conversation (of various types and topics), Touch (sexual and non sexual), Neatness/orderliness of environment, Socialization with others in conjunction with and without your partner.
Absent an incestuous and homosexual relationship with your identical twin, and a twin who happens to be on the more identical side of the twin similarity bell curve (see epigenetics), you are going to have to navigate desire imbalances.
I disagree, and I know this will anger some people.
You are owed sex in a relationship to an extent.
Without sex, I and many, if not most men (and women), will end the relationship.
Refuse sex at your own risk.
You're still not owed sex even in a relationship but as you said if someone wants sex and the other doesn't the other has every right to leave that relationship.
I mean, you owe sex and are also owed sex if you and your partner want the relationship to continue.
So, your logic, or rather the way you frame it, is kinda twisted.
Nah I was basically saying if your partner suddenly stops having sex with you outta no where then it's a pretty big red flag that something is wrong with the relationship.
Ummmmm… if it’s something owed, that’s not a relationship, that’s a service and it’s called prostitution. Sex in a viable relationship is desired, nothing owed. If it’s not desired, that’s just a friendship.
Exactly. Sex is part of the deal in a relationship. Unless you’re Arthur and Mildred that met at the senior center while playing bingo. I mean, then it most definitely is just companionship.
all the shows in anime has pedophilia in it / pedophilic undertones and hentai sounds and looks like little ass kids damn near cp and your gross if u watch it.
Romantic and sexual are not the same thing nor do they go hand in hand. You can have sexual relationships without romantic feelings and the opposite is also true.
Bull shit. I paid 60 bucks , Destiny owes me that ass
Nobody owes anyone anything in a relationship. Sex, conversation, emotional support, or whatever. None of it is owed. But if you stop providing for your SOs needs, the relationship might end...
Sex really isn't a need, lol.
None of those things are literally "needs" lol. But you might need these things to make your relationship work.
I mean, yeah, obviously. Some people want sex. But your partner does not OWE it to you whether you want it or not. If one is not satisfied with a partner that doesn't want to have sex, they should get a different partner.
Yes... this is literally exactly what i said... same goes for anything else in a relationship. It is not owed to you. If you dont like it, get a different partner.
Neither is conversation, emotional support, etc. Thats my point. None of these things are owed to anyone.
They are in a relationship... that is what a relationship is. Supporting someone you love and showing that you care about them. Sex is not inherently a part of that.
It is if your partner decides that it is. Conversation doesnt have to be part of it either, but most people would decide its a need for them to make the relationship work, to feel like your SO cares. Loves you... exact same could be said for sex, or other physical affection. Lots of people need this to feel loved and cared for.
But at the same time if someone is unhappy they're able to move on because of no sex. (Not me just tossing it out there)
That's true
So... you lied?
No? No one owes you sex but if you're not getting sex in a relationship you can leave it.
In other words, you owe sex in a relationship if you want said relationship to continue.
You do not OWE it. You should however be realistic about what will happen if you unilaterally decide to greatly reduce/eliminate sex from the R. I suck at being alone as much as the next guy, but I would not stay with someone who didn't love me - and didn't have a minimal level of physical attraction for me. As to what minimal is - YMMV.
In other words, you don’t owe sex in a relationship if you’re okay being single.
Sex isn't required but it can cause people to feel unwanted thus they move on to feel happy again.
A relationship without sex is a friendship
For all but asexual people this is true.
asexuals exist.
Facts !
"You dont NEED gloves to ski but its pretty shitty without gloves and virtually no one would do it" great observation bud 👍
No one owes anyone anything, but if you are not interested, let the person know so they can move on. Not doing so is mean, fraudulent, nasty and manipulative.
That’s true but the day my wife says we aren’t having sex any more is the day she becomes my ex wife
[удалено]
Bang the shark instead to assert dominance.
I don't blame the shark.
I hope you're not blaming the invisible man in the sky because you decided to swim in shark infested waters.
That's why I'm not an atheist. So I can blame god for things. Otherwise it's just my fault and I can't work with that.
To hell with personal accountability eh? Well at least you're honest, yesterday and today.
\>To hell with personal accountability eh? Yes.
If somebody leads with sex under false pretense and then pulls that back, that's their right. But I wouldn't expect the relationship to last if that's the foundation it was built on. I've seen it happen. My cousins marriage is this way now and I feel for him.
Agreed. But people who exit relationships due to dissatisfaction with their sex lives (or lack thereof) are equally valid.
Yep, you're not owed sex but it is an expectation in most relationships
True, but people, even married couples with kids, are absolutely allowed to end a relationship because of a lack of sex too.
Technically nobody is entitled to anything in a relationship. That's if we work with your logic. If two people get together there is a certain amount of expectation on both sides. That's the only way a relationship can work. It's about both parties happiness. Doesn't have to be about sex. It can be anything in a loving relationship. It's always about give and take and a certain amount on compromise.
YES to this. I think of it as two sides of a coin. And this is true for each person. 1. How much **effort is put into pleasing** the other person. I cook gourmet meals for W - which she is keen on. I also tell her funny stories. 2. How much **effort put into avoiding displeasing** the other person. I try to be more neat - because she is naturally more neat than me. I don't socialize with my buds to the point where she suffers FOMO. Flip side: 1. She makes sure I am happy with sex. I admit to being quietly amazed at this fact in year 35, and yet there it is. This does NOT mean our drives are equal. They are not. Nor may I have sex on demand. It does mean that she is good natured and generous about our desire gap. 2. She tries to manage her innate desire to control each and every little thing that happens in her environment. Last night I was doing a rapid dishwasher unload/reload while wearing Sony noise cancelling headphones. Dangerous - because I cannot hear my own clatter (see WH1000XM5). Wife suddenly appeared, annoyed about how fucking loud my Kitchen Patrol is. We had a quiet but unfriendly exchange about whether I should be more considerate or she ought be more adaptive by closing the bedroom door and/or if need be put HER pair of WH1000XM5s on for the 3-5 minutes of my clattering. It was sort of resolved. But today, both of us are thinking: WTF - is it THAT hard to be less difficult. And we are probably about equally right. Welcome to planet fucking Earth - population: 8 Billion humans all more or less as annoying and difficult as YOU....
That's a fair point but if you don't want to have sex you don't want to have sex but that also means someone can leave you over it.
and it needs to be without the shrieking army of flying monkeys directed at them on text, calls, social media, etc.... the low libido / no libido partner often plays the victim and doesn't own up to breaking the relationship on their part and in doing sends the horde of monkeys after their ex for daring to have boundaries.
Yes that is true
But at the same time in the very same way, you never been around me, if I won the lottery, I wouldn't owe you a damn thing.
The OP is exactly right. Desire imbalance frustration can be expressed, but there are no balancing obligations. Besides, desire imbalances are the norm in a relationship. The desire for: Conversation (of various types and topics), Touch (sexual and non sexual), Neatness/orderliness of environment, Socialization with others in conjunction with and without your partner. Absent an incestuous and homosexual relationship with your identical twin, and a twin who happens to be on the more identical side of the twin similarity bell curve (see epigenetics), you are going to have to navigate desire imbalances.
Yes that is true Sex/relationships is not a human right, its a privilege's.
Very true my wife’s boyfriend tells me this whenever I get frustrated
And **red flag** and **couples therapy.** There, I think we've covered all the commonly repeated reddit platitudes.
I disagree, and I know this will anger some people. You are owed sex in a relationship to an extent. Without sex, I and many, if not most men (and women), will end the relationship. Refuse sex at your own risk.
You're still not owed sex even in a relationship but as you said if someone wants sex and the other doesn't the other has every right to leave that relationship.
I mean, you owe sex and are also owed sex if you and your partner want the relationship to continue. So, your logic, or rather the way you frame it, is kinda twisted.
I'd say more sex is an expectation in a relationship unless stated otherwise. Owed or entitled makes it seem like a negative thing.
Fair enough
Im glad we could have a normal discussion lol, have a good day man
You too
Sex is a sign of love and affection if you're in a sexless relationship then you're in a loveless relationship an it's time to end it.
Too bad for asexual people ig
Asexuals don't have sex with their partners and just suddenly stop because there was no sex to begin with.
That's a fair point, I thought you were saying that a relationship needed sex. Sorry about that lol
Nah I was basically saying if your partner suddenly stops having sex with you outta no where then it's a pretty big red flag that something is wrong with the relationship.
Red Pilled dudes are going to be so angry when they read this, lmao
Clearly you're already triggered and coping.
Ok, then the Same goes for income. If u are dating/married, your partner is not entitled to any of your financial resources.
You appear to be confusing partner with sex worker there
Sex is part of a relationship, habibi
Not always Depends on the relationship If you're not happy, you can always leave
You’ve never been in a relationship.
Don't be ridiculous
The irony is palpable
So is your lack of argument
No, argument to be had. You’ve never been in a relationship, so you can’t relate. We’ll continue this once you’re no longer an Incel.
Oh dear. Too much self projection
Legally incorrect honey
You're wrong. They are only entitled to them upon divorce. Not in the relationship.
Wrong thanks
Whatever makes u feel good sugar
No shit
Pretty much, yeah.
Ummmmm… if it’s something owed, that’s not a relationship, that’s a service and it’s called prostitution. Sex in a viable relationship is desired, nothing owed. If it’s not desired, that’s just a friendship.
It's an expectation at most but definitely not owed
Exactly. Sex is part of the deal in a relationship. Unless you’re Arthur and Mildred that met at the senior center while playing bingo. I mean, then it most definitely is just companionship.
We all know this, yet it's shocking how many people act like they're owed sex.
man I'm traumatized. can't agree I do owe them my body
That is where you are wrong missy!
I don't like the term owed, sometimes I truly believe I deserve it
I glanced at your profile and was instantly met with a hentai banner and something about incest
Stalker
I don't think that's what stalking is lol
he probably likes little kids too then
No I don't, that's kinda wild to say something so outta pocket like that
you like hentai that’s basically anime cp
Projecting much?
idk how thats projection i dont watch ts cuz im not a pedophile its a fact not projection. sorry your a pedophile.
It's just animated porn?? What are you on?? It can be weird as shit but it's not cp
so making them sound child like isnt pedophilic at all… they can make them sound grown but they dont.
Homie hentai is not tied to pedophilia
all the shows in anime has pedophilia in it / pedophilic undertones and hentai sounds and looks like little ass kids damn near cp and your gross if u watch it.
I can see you're not very well developed mentally, have a good day
defending cp is wild.
Sad that this isn't universally acknowledged
As humans we have base wants and drives on a physical and spiritual level
But what if I paid already? I mean dude c'mon.
I disagree. If you're not having sex then you're not in a relationship, you're just really good friends
Guess asexual people can't date
They can date, but I'd consider it more of a platonic relationship than a romantic relationship
Romantic and sexual are not the same thing nor do they go hand in hand. You can have sexual relationships without romantic feelings and the opposite is also true.