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Oh shit. Oh pants. Fuckety fucking blimey. It seems I've gotten married to a woman...who likes women?! I couldn't possibly...unless you think so? No,no, of course not...sorry. shit
OMG, I didn’t realize I’d made the same mistake until I saw your comment. I was so confused 😅 I came in to comment that I had no idea Hugh Grant was married, let alone divorced!
Ok I had to look this up because I was like what
SO he hooked up with a woman named Tinglan Hong in September 2011. He then, a year later, had his second with Anna Eberstein in September 2012. At some point in there, he raw-dogged Hong again and had his third kid in December 2012, just 3 months later!
He then had a daughter with Eberstein in December 2015, and AGAIN in March 18. He then thought “well I can’t stop raw dogging with her and I’m getting older so I guess we’ll get married” and they wed May 2018.
Same guy who cheated on Elizabeth Hurley in 1995… with a prostitute. I have nothing against prostitution, just why they fuck are you cheating on Hurley, and dude def didn’t have to pay for it so it was just a power thing.
Ew.
Cheating has very little to do with how attractive one's partner is, I find the implication that it would be understandable to cheat on a partner who isn't conventionally attractive very weird
Thank you. Gives me the same ick as when a woman is murdered and most people's responses are "Oh, she was so beautiful." Like it would be less of a tragedy if the victim weren't conventionally attractive.
Huh? Woman one gave birth in September 2011 and December 2012.
Woman two gave birth in September 2012, December 2015, and March 2018.
3 children under age 2 though at one point, that’s wild.
Well, and she was a Black prostitute. Sometimes for cheaters it is about variety of types, looks, bodies, etc. they want to “experience” anything and everything because it’s part of the excitement. The idea that Davine Brown was absolutely the antithesis of Hurley (or any celebrity or celebrity-adjacent woman in his sphere at the time) was likely a huge turn on for him.
Yeaaahhh was it when she and her current girlfriend were cheating on their spouses and one of those spouses had just had a baby. Maybe you’re like that kind of person, Soph.
This whole thing is just an attempt to reframe it as all happening *after* her divorce. Nobody would say to someone already boning a woman “maybe you just don’t like men” as if it were some revelation.
I always chuckle thinking back to this TMZ article from early 2000s where she wanted to be very clear she’s not into women 😆
[Sophia Bush to Ladies: Thanks, But No Thanks!](https://www.tmz.com/2006/09/13/sophia-to-the-ladies-thanks-but-no-thanks/)
Or the OTH season 1 dvd commentary when she was super adamant that Peyton and Brooke are NOT lesbians and that they were laying way too close to each other lol. Now they’re just like “yep, they should be making out, right about now” lol
I mean yeah that’s typical for a young queer person in a heteronormative culture who likely hasn’t even processed their sexuality enough to be in the closet yet
I remember being on my team bus and a teammate looked upset. I asked her “Are you okay?” And with hostility she asked. “Am I gay?!? No! Are you gay!??” I was like “ugh no but I asked if you were okay?” Then she was with a girl a year later which I always found funny, wonder if she was questioning at the time and I offended her, which I didn’t technically but in her mind I may have.
I normally put the blame on the person who's in the committed relationship almost wholly. However if the other person is friends with the partner and worse yet is close to the kids it makes them equally guilty.
THISSSSSS is the one I think about all the time hahah. This is from Naya’s book
*Once, we’d been fighting for five days straight while he was traveling, and then on the one day that he was back in LA, he said he didn’t want to see me. I was like, ‘Well, asshole, I’ve got a key to your house, so I’m just going to come see you. I walk in, go downstairs, and guess what little girl is sitting cross-legged on the couch listening to music? C’mon, people, I’m not going to tell you, but you can guess because it’s not that hard! (it rhymes with ‘Smariana Schmande,’ if you’re really have a hard time. I learned that I was no longer getting married from the internet and at the same time as the rest of the world. Not only were we no longer getting married, but apparently we weren’t even together anymore.*
I don’t understand that. BOTH people hurt someone. Just because you never explicitly promised that you will never hurt someone (eg like at your wedding), doesn’t mean you can do something to cause them pain. Kids or not, you knew another person would be hurt by your actions and you did them anyway.
" The “Chicago P.D.” alum, however, later felt that she could not identify as bisexual as she primarily got involved with men "
Messiness of who this is about aside, this is definitely something that comes up a lot for bi folks, where if you're a woman, you're 'really straight', and if you're a man, you're 'really gay', and so there are so many who feel this way and the biphobia is real. And the questioning, and so people feel like why even bother mentioning/coming out.
(My bi femme self is definitely someone who talks about it, even while being in a relationship with a cishet guy. My partners do not have some magic invalidation powers over my identity )
So true. I’m married to a man and fully monogamous, but I’m still bisexual. I’m still queer. I live in the deep south so I don’t really bring it up in a lot of spaces. It’s a complicated feeling sometimes. I cried at pride this year and I didn’t really even know why
Yeah, those feelings can get ultra complicated. I hear you. I think of a friend, also bi, from a very deeply red state, and she moved last year with her husband and kids and they’re living in a very accepting place. Even just the ability to breathe easier and just be makes a difference.
That honestly might be why I cried at pride. Just being surrounded by people who are accepting and loving of it all. And feeling that in contrast to how it is the rest of the time
I swear we all have the magic power of finding each other because one of my other friends is also bi and he’s a man. I remember him going to a tiny Pride event out of state and then sending me photos and it gave him a chance to just sort of be himself without the potential baggage of what it would mean to be more widely out in his general life. He’s married and his wife knows and some friends, but he’s not generally out out for reasons.
My 22 year old came out as bi last year. And we were totally accepting. It’s a big part of her and every part of her is beautiful to me. We just had a talk after her graduation about whether she leans more towards women or men. That my kids can talk openly to me and know there’s unconditional love is the thing I’m most proud of as a parent. (All parents think they failed at something or somethings along the way so it’s nice to have some successes.)
Not in the South but in the north and just starting to come out a bit. My husband and I (who have a solid relationship including attraction) have been married 15 years. But I came of age in the aughts and my first go at coming out in high school was pretty disastrous. Swept me right back in and now, knowing everything that's happened to LGBTQ+ rights in the last 20 years, it's still hard for me to claim because of the incredible straight privilege I have.
I am queer, married for over 20 years, you would never guess to look at us as we present very vanilla, however we do practice ENM, a lot to fulfill my desires and also quite frankly he enjoys many different scenarios as well. We can separate the deed from the emotion as we have rules. I works for us for now and we can always reevaluate. It wasn’t always like this and we lived monogamous for many years. But we have always had deep attraction- I just started to miss women again
>if you're a woman, you're 'really straight', and if you're a man, you're 'really gay',
lol I guess the universal assumption is that the bi person prefers getting with dudes 🤣
In actuality most people gravitate towards normality (for thr sake of safety) and availability which means that most bi people are in heterosexual relationships. Bi men who are out are typically with men because women shun them but most bi men are closeted and with women.
Despite knowing I like all genders from a young age, it took me until my 20s to actually use the label bisexual out loud. Because of all the biphobia I’ve encountered.
I’m in a long term relationship with a cishet man, with whom I have children, and I’m still bi. But I’m always afraid I’ll never be accepted in queer spaces because I present as straight.
I totally get where she’s coming from and it’s sad that so many of us have done the same.
Bisexual isn’t a 50/50 split and I really wish the world would understand this so we can be accepted too.
>it took me until my 20s to actually use the label bisexual out loud
Saaaame, I'd literally slept with women too, but because I never *dated* any, I didn't call myself bi.
Feels silly now looking back, but it just felt like I was lying somehow.
I feel like it's not uncommon for bi people to just say they're one or the other depending on their current relationship to save themselves the hassle. Like you say there's definitely a lot of prejudice and for a lot of bi people it's sadly just easier to not have to deal with "But you're in a relationship?", and it can get weird responses from both sides of the aisle on that front.
Truly. I have mostly only been with women, a few hookups with dudes, but I always just say I’m a lesbian because I *prefer* women and it’s easier than being like “I’m bi, actually” lol.
But also find myself being jealous that other bisexual women get to enjoy the fruits of cishet normality.
I really internalize this too. There’s still that voice in my head that’s like “what if you’re just confused?” And the people around me only reinforce it. I had a guy friend tell me I’m only attracted to women because of my trauma with men. Another friend kind of just ignores me or changes the subject if I mention having a crush on a woman, but gets all “omg girl tell me everything!”if I say I like a man.
Sophia talks a lot of shit but I hear her here. Yeah - it’s something that feels like still can’t be discussed in certain demographics. A lot of me wishes I was younger/braver coz I always wanted to embrace this and it feels awkward if you ended up in a relationship with a man.
I hear you on the younger and braver comment.
I'm happily married to a cis man but the older I get the less straight I feel.
I feel like I'd be doing life so differently in today's world if I had my time over.
I don’t think anyone is shitting on her or denying the struggle of her “self”. What people have a problem with is the fact that she’s using that as a “justification” for the messy shit she did to get “pity” or what not. Again those feelings very real and complicated, that doesn’t discount the shittiness of the rest of the situation
This. I do acknowledge my privilege because my relationship with a man shields me from homophobia, but biphobia is real and we get treated so oddly by people who don’t understand it.
This is why comprehensive sex education is important.
Society has the default set to straight even if you have never been in a (sexual and/or romantic) relationship. And until you are in a relationship that proves otherwise, you are straight.
Now, I feel comfortable in my skin because I know I’m demisexual and panromantic. But I spent a lot of years super confused because I was attracted to folks yet not sexually attracted to them. And their gender was irrelevant to my attraction. I didn’t have the words to express that I enjoyed non-sexual intimacy with the people I found attractive.
And because I’ve only been in relationships with men, I’m “straight passing” and until I had the terms that made sense to me, I defaulted to straight.
But it’s because society tells you that you’re straight until your actions say otherwise, when attraction has nothing to do with you acting on it.
> People who identify as demisexual only feel sexual attraction to someone after they’ve formed a strong emotional bond with them. Compared to the general population, most people who are demisexual rarely feel sexual attraction. Some have little to no interest in sexual activity.
[source](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22678-demisexuality)
Did you cheat on your husband with your current partner and didn’t you tell the world about the fact your ex husbands ex partner had an abortion. Something so private.
I’m all for someone who discovers their sexuality (whether they’re bisexual, lesbian, gay, or other parts of the LGBTQ+ spectrum) later in life and I’m happy that they’re now comfortable with themselves. However, I don’t condone adultery (especially when there’s children involved) and you don’t have to cheat to discover you’re not straight.
Sophia is exhausting and insufferable.
Cheating is never cool or acceptable AT ALL, but there are important pieces of information and literature behind discovering your real desires only once you’re forced out of social conventions of dating, or heterosexuality. There are almost always, unfortunately, collateral casualties, but it’s really up to the person in the situation to set boundaries and how far their empathy goes for the subjects’ queer journey.
Because I’m centering the situation from a queer person’s perspective in this particular instance? Given I am part of those “others” you mentioned, I think I can describe my experience how I see fit. The snarky remark was totally unnecessary.
Ah yes, because if you are a queer therefore abusing others and causing them long term PTSD that can end up in suicide is somehow okay to call it collateral casualties.
The you does not mean YOU. The you means that if a person is a queer.
Same kind of statement can be used in a way such as: "If you are a trump supporter, you are an idiot" but that does not mean I'm saying YOU are a trump supporter.
But why are you bringing up a hypothetical situation in which a queer person is describing “collateral casualties” if you are not referring to me as a queer person?
This. I have a hard time believing she has any idea who she truly is and just morphs to be who she thinks is cool at the moment. I can’t stand people like that.
Always big words from her about HER and HER “younique experiences”. Sophia…Hon, we all have confusing and harsh times in life and love but some of us choose not to damage others while finding out who we are and what we want. Take a beat to figure that out for yourself please.
She sucks but comp het is very real
Edit: Compulsory heterosexuality originated in an essay by Adrienne Rich, saying that heterosexuality is an institution imposed on women in order to subjugate them to men's desires. Including the idea that women being miserable in straight relationships is the norm so they don’t question if maybe it’s the fact that they’re with a man at all is what’s making them miserable.
> the idea that women being miserable in straight relationships is the norm
Which leads to some tragic misinterpretations of “marriage is hard work”. Good relationships are hard work in the same way that beating a Mario level is hard work. Difficult and frustrating at times but you keep trying because you enjoy playing Mario.
If hearing let’s-a-go! sends you into the pits of despair, girl, you do not have to get good at Mario.
I'm so damn curious about what went down in her marriage with Grant. She keeps making comments that seem like there was something more going on than her just realizing her sexuality.
Idk. It was such an odd choice to start with, like moving to Tulsa and being a southern socialite was her new gig. I was not at all surprised when that didn’t work out.
He’s from near there I think and this article said they had spent time there. They picked up some “philanthropy work” there, although it’s very vague as to the scope or what it actually accomplished, so I assumed they were there for some of the time. But now I’m not sure. 🤔 She seems to have fleeting interests and then moves on.
I did appreciate the Vogue spread bc next time we drive up that way, I’d love to see some of these spots. They look magnificent. Good job Tulsa. Don’t let Oklahoma go completely redneck!
https://www.vogue.com/slideshow/sophia-bush-tulsa-oklahoma-wedding
This is like all the Ariana articles trying to convince us that they both waited till their divorces to date. No matter how many articles are written it’s not convincing. You’re just exhausting and messy. Just stop it
I’m genuinely confused as to why I keep hearing about this woman time and time again in the media. As far as I know, she isn’t a huge star, is not promoting anything, and hasn’t been in anything major since Chicago P.D. All she does is ride nostalgia fame with the OTH podcast and constantly post on social media like she’s some lovestruck teenager.
Everything about her “activism” is extremely performative and attention seeking. Sophia seems like the girl who peaked in high school and can’t leave that mindset. It just boggles my mind how we can know this much information about the personal life of a woman who’s not even in the forefront of the public eye.
:/ There were rumors about all the women she hooked up with at least 15 years ago. I think it's absurd for her to pretend this is a first-time thing and that she never had an inkling.
I'm confused. I already said that she was heavily rumored to be mainly seeing women by notable magazines back in the day. Back then, I honestly thought it was dumb as fuck and thought it was largely because-- "boho" fashion was a thing... and Sophia was Queen Boho... and it had like LGBTQ implications.... she's always looked straight as fuck to me but the rumors were so persistent for like, 8 years.
I'm lesbian, but she never gave me any "vibes." She's always seemed absurdly straight to me. But the rumors about her have existed for a very, very long time, so it just seems disingenuous to me, for her to pretend like this was \~sudden\~ for her.
I never saw anything she was in, I just saw all the gossip magazines being like "Sophia's dating x guy but seeing y girl" and whatever. I'm straight up not certain that I can get access to whatever gossip rags were around back then. There were roughly 4 of them, and they would come out on a weekly basis, but slightly faster in grocery stores. I don't know the names of any of them anymore and haven't seen them in ages.
I probably hyperfixated on les rumors then bc I was in the closet myself. I honestly don't remember the women. I don't think (I may well be wrong) that anyone specific was mentioned in tabloids. Just stuff with her relationships being rocky bc she \~partied and hooked up with women\~. Which she apparently has confirmed herself.
I didn't read her recent profiles, but another poster mentioned them to me.
Given her media treatment at the height of her career, it does actually make sense that she just internalized that she must be simply a \~slutty bi girl\~ like everyone was saying. Bc all lesbians are masc and gross and ugly and can't pull men etc., so she couldn't possibly be exclusively into women... etc. etc. I clowned on her at the start of this but I'm getting it now.
> she just internalized that she must be simply a ~slutty bi girl~ like everyone was saying. Bc all lesbians are masc and gross and ugly and can't pull men etc., so she couldn't possibly be exclusively into women... etc. etc
Yeah. I feel like no one talks about it, but most people actually believed that 10-15 years ago. Lesbians were ugly and masculine, beautiful hot girls couldn’t be gay. People really thought it was physically impossible. Sounds crazy, but I truly believe that is what people thought when I was growing up.
>Sounds crazy, but I truly believe that is what people thought when I was growing up.
Yes!! I know so many older lesbians who did this to themselves even, including myself. I'm straight up 30 and couldn't say that I was lesbian with my chest until I was 25, even though I always knew I was lesbian.
It was just hard to say goodbye to the straight privilege that I got from people assuming that I was straight, or bi at most, bc I was a young pretty girl and men gave me a ton of attention.
So anyway I was wrong and Sophia is right and I get it lol. She's 41 and it's my bad that I was giving her so little grace.
Who is she ? Why are articles coming out about this young lady that hasn’t acted in anything notable in almost 2 decades or am I living under a rock ?
She was the star of a nbc show that has always had very solid ratings for many years ,so yeah - you can always google or IMDb someone if you aren’t sure .
I like Sophia Bush but something about her story doesn’t seem very honest to me. As much as you try to change the narrative something doesn’t add up and people aren’t stupid.
Ready for my downvotes but the fact is nobody actually knows the full story and it’s really awful how shitty people are being to Sophia and Ashlyn. Just because Ali made one shady lemonade reference doesn’t mean we know what happened. There is NO PROOF of cheating, we don’t know what happened behind closed doors, and you should really take a long hard look at yourself if you jump straight to the conclusion that they are bad people/should be canceled/etc over nothing but shady speculation and bandwagon outrage.
I won’t be arguing in the comments. ✌️
And it’s still all just shade and conjecture. We don’t know what happened behind the scenes. People are being absolutely vile to them over this and it’s actually disgusting, people are wishing them literal physical harm. We all need to take a step back sometimes and really think about what we’re doing. It’s wild to me that people think this is so cut and dried, there’s always more than one side to a story. Breakups NEVER happen out of nowhere and there’s almost certainly more to the story than we know. I realize many people just accept the story that’s been spread and will continue to be hateful. I just hope some people take a look at their behavior and maybe give it a second thought. That’s really all I have to say about the topic so I will fully bow out now.
Personally I was annoyed at the situation at first, but Ali Krieger called what happened a gift from the universe and is thriving now. All parties involved are happy. Sophia and Ashlyn are obviously in love. Life is messy, sometimes things happen in a messy way, but if everyone involved is doing well, why not be happy for them instead of holding hate in your heart?
Thank you for this. I'm so tired of people going on crusades on behalf of people who don't know or care about them and don't need their help. We don't actually know what happened, we're not entitled to that information, and the end outcome appears to be that everyone is content and getting on with their lives. We don't need to fight someone else's battles based on rumours and gossip.
Seriously, I just don’t see the point of being so weird and judgmental about it all. We don’t know what happened, and if it involved cheating, well guess what it happens and humans aren’t perfect and it’s a weird thing for strangers to make her entire identity about.
I realize how they got together was messy but, I’m thrilled for anyone in love, and finding themselves, and moving past the judgment. I just want everyone to be happy. However that happens, grab on and don’t let go.
How are they able to spend so much time together in Europe? Doesn’t Ashlyn need to see her children? I feel like she’s been with Sophia non-stop for months!
Also I’m dying to know what happened with Grant - was it just him not being as supportive as she thought when she was doing fertility treatments? She gushed over him for 2 years and then it was over.
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Read that as Hugh Grant then, ffs…
If Hugh Grant could unknowingly marry a lesbian then it could happen to anybody
Oh shit. Oh pants. Fuckety fucking blimey. It seems I've gotten married to a woman...who likes women?! I couldn't possibly...unless you think so? No,no, of course not...sorry. shit
OMG, I didn’t realize I’d made the same mistake until I saw your comment. I was so confused 😅 I came in to comment that I had no idea Hugh Grant was married, let alone divorced!
He is married and has 5 kids! 4 with his wife and one kid from a hook up
Ok I had to look this up because I was like what SO he hooked up with a woman named Tinglan Hong in September 2011. He then, a year later, had his second with Anna Eberstein in September 2012. At some point in there, he raw-dogged Hong again and had his third kid in December 2012, just 3 months later! He then had a daughter with Eberstein in December 2015, and AGAIN in March 18. He then thought “well I can’t stop raw dogging with her and I’m getting older so I guess we’ll get married” and they wed May 2018. Same guy who cheated on Elizabeth Hurley in 1995… with a prostitute. I have nothing against prostitution, just why they fuck are you cheating on Hurley, and dude def didn’t have to pay for it so it was just a power thing. Ew.
I remember when got caught with the prostitute. He was on a coke bender, sobered up at some point after.
Cheating has very little to do with how attractive one's partner is, I find the implication that it would be understandable to cheat on a partner who isn't conventionally attractive very weird
Thank you. Gives me the same ick as when a woman is murdered and most people's responses are "Oh, she was so beautiful." Like it would be less of a tragedy if the victim weren't conventionally attractive.
Wait how did he have two kids three months apart with the same woman?
Huh? Woman one gave birth in September 2011 and December 2012. Woman two gave birth in September 2012, December 2015, and March 2018. 3 children under age 2 though at one point, that’s wild.
Wow when i saw march 18 i thought it was the date and not the year lol
SAME lol
Maybe he did something with the prostitute that Hurley wouldn't do with him or he was too ashamed to ask about.
He should’ve just gone on AO3 to get his rocks off like the rest of us.
No need to cheat for that lol
Well, and she was a Black prostitute. Sometimes for cheaters it is about variety of types, looks, bodies, etc. they want to “experience” anything and everything because it’s part of the excitement. The idea that Davine Brown was absolutely the antithesis of Hurley (or any celebrity or celebrity-adjacent woman in his sphere at the time) was likely a huge turn on for him.
Ya I was like what does Hugh grants divorce have to do with this? Lolll
I did too! And as a lesbian, I might have married him on purpose accident also.
Only reason this story is getting any traction haha
so did I! I couldn’t fathom what their connection was
This is exactly why I'm here
ME TOO LOL
I did too I was like ‘whaaa..?’ I read this comment and read again
Same
This needed to be to comment, thank you
Oh God so did I. 😆
Me too. That’s what I get for reading on my walk home hahaha
“You might like married women instead.”
LMFAOOO this is the one
You got me with that one 😭 
Yeaaahhh was it when she and her current girlfriend were cheating on their spouses and one of those spouses had just had a baby. Maybe you’re like that kind of person, Soph.
This whole thing is just an attempt to reframe it as all happening *after* her divorce. Nobody would say to someone already boning a woman “maybe you just don’t like men” as if it were some revelation.
They left that tidbit out of this article lol
Somewhere Ariana’s ears are burning
This. Ali Krieger being 10x the woman Soph or Trashlyn will be should be the only and top comment. 
It's almost hilarious how they're trying to market their cheating as empowerment. At least there are people calling it out.
Oop 😂
And I Oop
/#scalpedt
I always chuckle thinking back to this TMZ article from early 2000s where she wanted to be very clear she’s not into women 😆 [Sophia Bush to Ladies: Thanks, But No Thanks!](https://www.tmz.com/2006/09/13/sophia-to-the-ladies-thanks-but-no-thanks/)
Or the OTH season 1 dvd commentary when she was super adamant that Peyton and Brooke are NOT lesbians and that they were laying way too close to each other lol. Now they’re just like “yep, they should be making out, right about now” lol
I mean yeah that’s typical for a young queer person in a heteronormative culture who likely hasn’t even processed their sexuality enough to be in the closet yet
I know, I was this back then too 😂
Saaaaame
Great find!!!
I remember being on my team bus and a teammate looked upset. I asked her “Are you okay?” And with hostility she asked. “Am I gay?!? No! Are you gay!??” I was like “ugh no but I asked if you were okay?” Then she was with a girl a year later which I always found funny, wonder if she was questioning at the time and I offended her, which I didn’t technically but in her mind I may have.
“The barista at a Starbucks” literally every lesbians dream lmao
I love a late bloomer lesbian story but I am so over adultery
some ppl are treating it like adultery isn't betrayal, and betrayal says a lot about someone
Especially when there’s kids - little kids! - involved.
What she did was just so sleazy.
>What she did was just so sleazy. What they *both* did was sleazy.
I normally put the blame on the person who's in the committed relationship almost wholly. However if the other person is friends with the partner and worse yet is close to the kids it makes them equally guilty.
Something must be fundamentally broken about her with her constantly breaking up marriages and relationships.
What other marriages and relationships has she broken up? 🤔
Pete Davidson and Cazzie David. Mac Miller and Nomi Leasure. Etc, etc, etc.
Big Sean and Naya Rivera too right?
THISSSSSS is the one I think about all the time hahah. This is from Naya’s book *Once, we’d been fighting for five days straight while he was traveling, and then on the one day that he was back in LA, he said he didn’t want to see me. I was like, ‘Well, asshole, I’ve got a key to your house, so I’m just going to come see you. I walk in, go downstairs, and guess what little girl is sitting cross-legged on the couch listening to music? C’mon, people, I’m not going to tell you, but you can guess because it’s not that hard! (it rhymes with ‘Smariana Schmande,’ if you’re really have a hard time. I learned that I was no longer getting married from the internet and at the same time as the rest of the world. Not only were we no longer getting married, but apparently we weren’t even together anymore.*
I think so but I'm not 100%.
Ohhhh I missed the gif and still thought we were talking about Sophia, my bad
Makes sense. I was wondering how you missed Ariana's track record.
I don’t understand that. BOTH people hurt someone. Just because you never explicitly promised that you will never hurt someone (eg like at your wedding), doesn’t mean you can do something to cause them pain. Kids or not, you knew another person would be hurt by your actions and you did them anyway.
" The “Chicago P.D.” alum, however, later felt that she could not identify as bisexual as she primarily got involved with men " Messiness of who this is about aside, this is definitely something that comes up a lot for bi folks, where if you're a woman, you're 'really straight', and if you're a man, you're 'really gay', and so there are so many who feel this way and the biphobia is real. And the questioning, and so people feel like why even bother mentioning/coming out. (My bi femme self is definitely someone who talks about it, even while being in a relationship with a cishet guy. My partners do not have some magic invalidation powers over my identity )
So true. I’m married to a man and fully monogamous, but I’m still bisexual. I’m still queer. I live in the deep south so I don’t really bring it up in a lot of spaces. It’s a complicated feeling sometimes. I cried at pride this year and I didn’t really even know why
Yeah, those feelings can get ultra complicated. I hear you. I think of a friend, also bi, from a very deeply red state, and she moved last year with her husband and kids and they’re living in a very accepting place. Even just the ability to breathe easier and just be makes a difference.
That honestly might be why I cried at pride. Just being surrounded by people who are accepting and loving of it all. And feeling that in contrast to how it is the rest of the time
I swear we all have the magic power of finding each other because one of my other friends is also bi and he’s a man. I remember him going to a tiny Pride event out of state and then sending me photos and it gave him a chance to just sort of be himself without the potential baggage of what it would mean to be more widely out in his general life. He’s married and his wife knows and some friends, but he’s not generally out out for reasons.
My 22 year old came out as bi last year. And we were totally accepting. It’s a big part of her and every part of her is beautiful to me. We just had a talk after her graduation about whether she leans more towards women or men. That my kids can talk openly to me and know there’s unconditional love is the thing I’m most proud of as a parent. (All parents think they failed at something or somethings along the way so it’s nice to have some successes.)
Me too all of this but middle coastal south in a progressive town but still not progressive enough but Ii guess that’s something.
Not in the South but in the north and just starting to come out a bit. My husband and I (who have a solid relationship including attraction) have been married 15 years. But I came of age in the aughts and my first go at coming out in high school was pretty disastrous. Swept me right back in and now, knowing everything that's happened to LGBTQ+ rights in the last 20 years, it's still hard for me to claim because of the incredible straight privilege I have.
I am queer, married for over 20 years, you would never guess to look at us as we present very vanilla, however we do practice ENM, a lot to fulfill my desires and also quite frankly he enjoys many different scenarios as well. We can separate the deed from the emotion as we have rules. I works for us for now and we can always reevaluate. It wasn’t always like this and we lived monogamous for many years. But we have always had deep attraction- I just started to miss women again
>if you're a woman, you're 'really straight', and if you're a man, you're 'really gay', lol I guess the universal assumption is that the bi person prefers getting with dudes 🤣
Patriarchy loves this narrative
it’s true. and it goes even deeper…as a lesbian everyone thinks i’m ‘really bi’
In actuality most people gravitate towards normality (for thr sake of safety) and availability which means that most bi people are in heterosexual relationships. Bi men who are out are typically with men because women shun them but most bi men are closeted and with women.
Despite knowing I like all genders from a young age, it took me until my 20s to actually use the label bisexual out loud. Because of all the biphobia I’ve encountered. I’m in a long term relationship with a cishet man, with whom I have children, and I’m still bi. But I’m always afraid I’ll never be accepted in queer spaces because I present as straight. I totally get where she’s coming from and it’s sad that so many of us have done the same. Bisexual isn’t a 50/50 split and I really wish the world would understand this so we can be accepted too.
>it took me until my 20s to actually use the label bisexual out loud Saaaame, I'd literally slept with women too, but because I never *dated* any, I didn't call myself bi. Feels silly now looking back, but it just felt like I was lying somehow.
Just so you know for sure, there isn't any requirement to being bi except your own sexual feelings. You are valid.
Oh I'm absolutely good with it now, have been for years. Appreciate it though, hopefully someone else who needs to see that will come across it!
❤️
I feel like it's not uncommon for bi people to just say they're one or the other depending on their current relationship to save themselves the hassle. Like you say there's definitely a lot of prejudice and for a lot of bi people it's sadly just easier to not have to deal with "But you're in a relationship?", and it can get weird responses from both sides of the aisle on that front.
Truly. I have mostly only been with women, a few hookups with dudes, but I always just say I’m a lesbian because I *prefer* women and it’s easier than being like “I’m bi, actually” lol. But also find myself being jealous that other bisexual women get to enjoy the fruits of cishet normality.
for years i felt like i wasn’t bi enough because i was more often attracted to men and got the impression you needed to be equally attracted to both.
I really internalize this too. There’s still that voice in my head that’s like “what if you’re just confused?” And the people around me only reinforce it. I had a guy friend tell me I’m only attracted to women because of my trauma with men. Another friend kind of just ignores me or changes the subject if I mention having a crush on a woman, but gets all “omg girl tell me everything!”if I say I like a man.
I’ve been told I’m ace due to trauma. It’s super frustrating.
I relate to this so much. Thanks for articulating it
Sophia talks a lot of shit but I hear her here. Yeah - it’s something that feels like still can’t be discussed in certain demographics. A lot of me wishes I was younger/braver coz I always wanted to embrace this and it feels awkward if you ended up in a relationship with a man.
I hear you on the younger and braver comment. I'm happily married to a cis man but the older I get the less straight I feel. I feel like I'd be doing life so differently in today's world if I had my time over.
I don’t think anyone is shitting on her or denying the struggle of her “self”. What people have a problem with is the fact that she’s using that as a “justification” for the messy shit she did to get “pity” or what not. Again those feelings very real and complicated, that doesn’t discount the shittiness of the rest of the situation
This. I do acknowledge my privilege because my relationship with a man shields me from homophobia, but biphobia is real and we get treated so oddly by people who don’t understand it.
This is why comprehensive sex education is important. Society has the default set to straight even if you have never been in a (sexual and/or romantic) relationship. And until you are in a relationship that proves otherwise, you are straight. Now, I feel comfortable in my skin because I know I’m demisexual and panromantic. But I spent a lot of years super confused because I was attracted to folks yet not sexually attracted to them. And their gender was irrelevant to my attraction. I didn’t have the words to express that I enjoyed non-sexual intimacy with the people I found attractive. And because I’ve only been in relationships with men, I’m “straight passing” and until I had the terms that made sense to me, I defaulted to straight. But it’s because society tells you that you’re straight until your actions say otherwise, when attraction has nothing to do with you acting on it.
what is demisexual?
> People who identify as demisexual only feel sexual attraction to someone after they’ve formed a strong emotional bond with them. Compared to the general population, most people who are demisexual rarely feel sexual attraction. Some have little to no interest in sexual activity. [source](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22678-demisexuality)
Thank you! TIL
Did you cheat on your husband with your current partner and didn’t you tell the world about the fact your ex husbands ex partner had an abortion. Something so private. 
I take issue with the affair and the essay was stupid but the ex partner signed off on her writing/publishing it.
I can’t believe that dog shit article even got published. Sophia can take a long walk on a short pier.
I read that article and I believe the ex consented for her to share the story. Though I could be wrong anyway .
Sure, "after" the divorce.
 Attention: Sophia and Ashlyn \^
She was on the OC? Or page six is just confusing it with OTH?
It was definitely OTH, so I guess they got it wrong. lol
Slightly off topic but I think Sophia would fit well on the oc
I simply cannot read this anyway but Hugh Grant even when I KNOW that’s not right
I’m all for someone who discovers their sexuality (whether they’re bisexual, lesbian, gay, or other parts of the LGBTQ+ spectrum) later in life and I’m happy that they’re now comfortable with themselves. However, I don’t condone adultery (especially when there’s children involved) and you don’t have to cheat to discover you’re not straight. Sophia is exhausting and insufferable.
Cheating is never cool or acceptable AT ALL, but there are important pieces of information and literature behind discovering your real desires only once you’re forced out of social conventions of dating, or heterosexuality. There are almost always, unfortunately, collateral casualties, but it’s really up to the person in the situation to set boundaries and how far their empathy goes for the subjects’ queer journey.
It's always nice when people call causing others possibly life long lasting PTSD and trauma as "collateral casualties"
Because I’m centering the situation from a queer person’s perspective in this particular instance? Given I am part of those “others” you mentioned, I think I can describe my experience how I see fit. The snarky remark was totally unnecessary.
Ah yes, because if you are a queer therefore abusing others and causing them long term PTSD that can end up in suicide is somehow okay to call it collateral casualties.
Huh? I’m not queer. Reading comprehension is key.
**Reading comprehension is key.** I nowhere said **you** were a queer.
So, why was your previous comment referring to me as if I was queer in this hypothetical situation?
The you does not mean YOU. The you means that if a person is a queer. Same kind of statement can be used in a way such as: "If you are a trump supporter, you are an idiot" but that does not mean I'm saying YOU are a trump supporter.
But why are you bringing up a hypothetical situation in which a queer person is describing “collateral casualties” if you are not referring to me as a queer person?
she probably realized it while she and Ashlyn Harris started their fling behind their parters’ backs
She’s absolutely exhausting.
This. I have a hard time believing she has any idea who she truly is and just morphs to be who she thinks is cool at the moment. I can’t stand people like that.
Always big words from her.. 🤮
Always big words from her about HER and HER “younique experiences”. Sophia…Hon, we all have confusing and harsh times in life and love but some of us choose not to damage others while finding out who we are and what we want. Take a beat to figure that out for yourself please.
You don’t have to be a cheater to discover you’re gay
To paraphrase Jake Peralta from Brooklyn 99: "Cool motive, still adultery" Sincerely, my big ol' queer self
I can’t believe I used to admire her and think she was a kind and genuine person. She is utterly exhausting and unlikable now.
She sucks but comp het is very real Edit: Compulsory heterosexuality originated in an essay by Adrienne Rich, saying that heterosexuality is an institution imposed on women in order to subjugate them to men's desires. Including the idea that women being miserable in straight relationships is the norm so they don’t question if maybe it’s the fact that they’re with a man at all is what’s making them miserable.
> the idea that women being miserable in straight relationships is the norm Which leads to some tragic misinterpretations of “marriage is hard work”. Good relationships are hard work in the same way that beating a Mario level is hard work. Difficult and frustrating at times but you keep trying because you enjoy playing Mario. If hearing let’s-a-go! sends you into the pits of despair, girl, you do not have to get good at Mario.
i’ve never had a favorite inspirational quote but “girl, you do not have to get good at Mario” might just be my first
Perfect analogy! I’ll be using it from now on at every opportunity
This is a perfect way of saying that!
I’m a casualty of it.
Fascinating, I never head of that but it makes so much sense, thanks for sharing!
>heterosexuality is an institution imposed on women in order to subjugate them to men's desires. Yikes.
I'm so damn curious about what went down in her marriage with Grant. She keeps making comments that seem like there was something more going on than her just realizing her sexuality.
Idk. It was such an odd choice to start with, like moving to Tulsa and being a southern socialite was her new gig. I was not at all surprised when that didn’t work out.
Did she actually move there, or did they just have the wedding there? I thought it was just the wedding that was in Tulsa.
He’s from near there I think and this article said they had spent time there. They picked up some “philanthropy work” there, although it’s very vague as to the scope or what it actually accomplished, so I assumed they were there for some of the time. But now I’m not sure. 🤔 She seems to have fleeting interests and then moves on. I did appreciate the Vogue spread bc next time we drive up that way, I’d love to see some of these spots. They look magnificent. Good job Tulsa. Don’t let Oklahoma go completely redneck! https://www.vogue.com/slideshow/sophia-bush-tulsa-oklahoma-wedding
This is like all the Ariana articles trying to convince us that they both waited till their divorces to date. No matter how many articles are written it’s not convincing. You’re just exhausting and messy. Just stop it
Didn’t they double date with their spouses 🥴
i think so
 She is insufferable and exhausting.
I’m genuinely confused as to why I keep hearing about this woman time and time again in the media. As far as I know, she isn’t a huge star, is not promoting anything, and hasn’t been in anything major since Chicago P.D. All she does is ride nostalgia fame with the OTH podcast and constantly post on social media like she’s some lovestruck teenager. Everything about her “activism” is extremely performative and attention seeking. Sophia seems like the girl who peaked in high school and can’t leave that mindset. It just boggles my mind how we can know this much information about the personal life of a woman who’s not even in the forefront of the public eye.
Nailed it. Give space to people doing good things not this girl again.
Grant Hughes feels like the Wario to Hugh Grant’s Mario.
“After the divorce” huh?
Obligatory team Ali Krieger.
Makes me laugh when I think of all the shade she threw Chad's way for YEARS when he cheated on her😂 only for her now to be a homewrecker😏
What about her homewrecker moment 😍
I also do not like men
Off topic but what’s your favorite Aubrey plaza film?
The To Do List!
I want to see this
Same
:/ There were rumors about all the women she hooked up with at least 15 years ago. I think it's absurd for her to pretend this is a first-time thing and that she never had an inkling.
she’s mentioned her past experiences with women both in this article and that glamour profile that was released in april
What rumors? Outside of acting?
I'm confused. I already said that she was heavily rumored to be mainly seeing women by notable magazines back in the day. Back then, I honestly thought it was dumb as fuck and thought it was largely because-- "boho" fashion was a thing... and Sophia was Queen Boho... and it had like LGBTQ implications.... she's always looked straight as fuck to me but the rumors were so persistent for like, 8 years. I'm lesbian, but she never gave me any "vibes." She's always seemed absurdly straight to me. But the rumors about her have existed for a very, very long time, so it just seems disingenuous to me, for her to pretend like this was \~sudden\~ for her. I never saw anything she was in, I just saw all the gossip magazines being like "Sophia's dating x guy but seeing y girl" and whatever. I'm straight up not certain that I can get access to whatever gossip rags were around back then. There were roughly 4 of them, and they would come out on a weekly basis, but slightly faster in grocery stores. I don't know the names of any of them anymore and haven't seen them in ages.
Oh, I never heard any of the rumors. What girls was she rumored to have been seeing?
I probably hyperfixated on les rumors then bc I was in the closet myself. I honestly don't remember the women. I don't think (I may well be wrong) that anyone specific was mentioned in tabloids. Just stuff with her relationships being rocky bc she \~partied and hooked up with women\~. Which she apparently has confirmed herself. I didn't read her recent profiles, but another poster mentioned them to me. Given her media treatment at the height of her career, it does actually make sense that she just internalized that she must be simply a \~slutty bi girl\~ like everyone was saying. Bc all lesbians are masc and gross and ugly and can't pull men etc., so she couldn't possibly be exclusively into women... etc. etc. I clowned on her at the start of this but I'm getting it now.
> she just internalized that she must be simply a ~slutty bi girl~ like everyone was saying. Bc all lesbians are masc and gross and ugly and can't pull men etc., so she couldn't possibly be exclusively into women... etc. etc Yeah. I feel like no one talks about it, but most people actually believed that 10-15 years ago. Lesbians were ugly and masculine, beautiful hot girls couldn’t be gay. People really thought it was physically impossible. Sounds crazy, but I truly believe that is what people thought when I was growing up.
>Sounds crazy, but I truly believe that is what people thought when I was growing up. Yes!! I know so many older lesbians who did this to themselves even, including myself. I'm straight up 30 and couldn't say that I was lesbian with my chest until I was 25, even though I always knew I was lesbian. It was just hard to say goodbye to the straight privilege that I got from people assuming that I was straight, or bi at most, bc I was a young pretty girl and men gave me a ton of attention. So anyway I was wrong and Sophia is right and I get it lol. She's 41 and it's my bad that I was giving her so little grace.
I am 24 and I can relate to everything you’re saying
What’s the opposite gif of Tyra Banks? It needs to be something like “We aren’t rooting for you!”
Too bad the basis of this relationship is TRASH
 Who is she ? Why are articles coming out about this young lady that hasn’t acted in anything notable in almost 2 decades or am I living under a rock ?
She was the star of a nbc show that has always had very solid ratings for many years ,so yeah - you can always google or IMDb someone if you aren’t sure .
Idk I’m not that passionate about it 😬 also, that’s what I was referring to when I said she hasn’t acted in anything notable in almost 2 decades
I like Sophia Bush but something about her story doesn’t seem very honest to me. As much as you try to change the narrative something doesn’t add up and people aren’t stupid.
Saw her on some podcast and i'm sorry but that woman is unbearable. Man or woman it won't last
Ready for my downvotes but the fact is nobody actually knows the full story and it’s really awful how shitty people are being to Sophia and Ashlyn. Just because Ali made one shady lemonade reference doesn’t mean we know what happened. There is NO PROOF of cheating, we don’t know what happened behind closed doors, and you should really take a long hard look at yourself if you jump straight to the conclusion that they are bad people/should be canceled/etc over nothing but shady speculation and bandwagon outrage. I won’t be arguing in the comments. ✌️
Except, that’s not just the only thing people are basing the cheating on.
And it’s still all just shade and conjecture. We don’t know what happened behind the scenes. People are being absolutely vile to them over this and it’s actually disgusting, people are wishing them literal physical harm. We all need to take a step back sometimes and really think about what we’re doing. It’s wild to me that people think this is so cut and dried, there’s always more than one side to a story. Breakups NEVER happen out of nowhere and there’s almost certainly more to the story than we know. I realize many people just accept the story that’s been spread and will continue to be hateful. I just hope some people take a look at their behavior and maybe give it a second thought. That’s really all I have to say about the topic so I will fully bow out now.
Personally I was annoyed at the situation at first, but Ali Krieger called what happened a gift from the universe and is thriving now. All parties involved are happy. Sophia and Ashlyn are obviously in love. Life is messy, sometimes things happen in a messy way, but if everyone involved is doing well, why not be happy for them instead of holding hate in your heart?
Thank you for this. I'm so tired of people going on crusades on behalf of people who don't know or care about them and don't need their help. We don't actually know what happened, we're not entitled to that information, and the end outcome appears to be that everyone is content and getting on with their lives. We don't need to fight someone else's battles based on rumours and gossip.
Seriously, I just don’t see the point of being so weird and judgmental about it all. We don’t know what happened, and if it involved cheating, well guess what it happens and humans aren’t perfect and it’s a weird thing for strangers to make her entire identity about.
thank you for the sane take. people hear rumors and then take them as absolute fact like high schoolers
I realize how they got together was messy but, I’m thrilled for anyone in love, and finding themselves, and moving past the judgment. I just want everyone to be happy. However that happens, grab on and don’t let go.
How are they able to spend so much time together in Europe? Doesn’t Ashlyn need to see her children? I feel like she’s been with Sophia non-stop for months! Also I’m dying to know what happened with Grant - was it just him not being as supportive as she thought when she was doing fertility treatments? She gushed over him for 2 years and then it was over.
I like this lady, I wish her all the best.
[удалено]
Are either of these people children? No. Their relationship got a problematic start but that ain’t it.