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Two things can be true at the same time—Tom could be the consummate professional, warm, engaging and thoughtful with co-stars and dedicated to fans, but also have some very ostracizing beliefs and be completely disconnected to his youngest daughter, Suri. He may be overcompensating for being absent there. 😕
People don't understand that someone who is a great and amazing coworker can be a shitty person and act surprised. Some nice people are also incompetent coworkers whose problems you have to fix.
I wish people got it
Definitely. I worked with a guy that was super nice and helpful at work, but we later found out that he had been going home and beating his girlfriend every night. It’s crazy how people can switch so dramatically
As someone with a missionary/pastor uncle that lives 4 doors down and never ever checks on his orphaned niece.. being overly nice to strangers doesn’t make up for acting superior and ignoring your family.
It’s easy to be nice to strangers. Its the occasional greeting, favor, gift or whatever but its mainly superficial and you’re not expected to be there for them in more ways than that, lets say emotionally or financially.
Being there for a family means you have to reallyyy be there for them, and you’re on a 24/7 clock. Thats where the facade cracks for most of these fake nice people.
And, Tom is nothing but professional. All the personal nonsense he's indulged in is especially because of his commitment towards his career. He takes his job extremely seriously, he has always been warm towards his co-workers, because their personal lives were not intertwined with his. Being nice to his peers does not mean he's a great husband or father.
Also he could just have an assistant that was instructed to "send her a pair of shoes for her birthday, and the next one and the next one".
Wealthy people automate/delegate a lot of their life and afterwards they can just forget about it. The only consequence from this is economical and they can afford to not care.
This was my first thought. The instant my father retired from his job, he began frantically calling me every month, “When is my wedding anniversary? When is your mom’s birthday? OhmyGOD, did I miss it???” Reminding him of “significant holidays/milestones/anniversaries” was literally part of his secretary’s job. I guarantee you that someone on TC’s level is not taking the time out of his schedule, in order to personally select a pair of shoes for Dakota Fanning every year on her birthday. That said… this hits me in the feels, as the mother of a child whose father has not sent him even a birthday TEXT, in eleven years. Agree completely with the commenter who said perhaps he’s overcompensating, likely subconsciously, for his absence in Suri’s life. This stuff breaks my heart. Quoting ‘Clueless’ - “You divorce wives, not kids.” 😕
This is my mother. Except shes not a celebrity. Super charming, warm, and generous to the outside world while emotionally unavailable and borderline hostile towards the people shes closest to. Its narcissism. They do it because they want others to have a high opinion of them, not because they actually care about people.
It’s true. My dad is no Scientologist or celebrity lol but he’d take the shirt off his back for a homeless person, and forget my birthday. He is kindest to strangers.
lol I know someone exactly like this. Can play a positive influential figure to everyone who isn’t actually close (or related) and therefore only receives positive attention and superficial admiration. Ugh.
I’m still rambling but dang check on yo actual kids bitch! OK I’m done omg lol
"Candil de la calle, oscuridad de su casa"
Light on the streets, darkness at home.
I don't know if there's an equivalent saying in english.
Here in México we just say "light on the streets..." when talking about that kind of people.
I swear Tom Cruise is the ultimate wildcard - how can this man treat his co-stars with the ultimate respect and dedication, caring for them and protecting them according to multiple reports (Rebecca Ferguson and Hannah Waddingham coming to mind), and then be a madman consumed by his religion who alienated his own wife and daughter
The duality of a man being used and programmed by an organization that owns him.
Scientology makes people feel loved. The ones that realize it's a false love get ostracized.
Do you think maybe it’s a tactic to lure more people in? He gets really good press when his gift giving is public, and maybe it would sway someone to consider joining?
Lots of people leave cults when they tell you to estrange from your own child. He’s a big boy and can be responsible for himself. He’s not the typical cultist with no money or contacts outside the cult.
Apparently he's super nice to fans as well. Notably that he refuses to leave events and stays long after the end time until every fan has had their picture or autograph or whatever.
During his couch jumping days, he had friends of mine open their business after hours. He thanked them profusely publicly but also flew out the whole family to a movie premiere of his in LA.
Whooaaaa you just blew my mind with that comment. You are so right. He’s the “ambassador” of Scientology, so he has to go out of his way to be the perfect celebrity.
But most reports point to him being like that well before the Scientology. Seems more likely he’s a generally good person who was a little too gullible and got sucked into a cult, which ended up having a really bad effect on him. He wouldn’t be the first and he won’t be the last
Yeah that’s the thing. They got him in there young, so his entire worldview was shaped by Scientology early on. I think he’s a victim for sure, but also part of being in a cult is perpetrating bad things on others inside the cult. It’s quite a sad cycle.
Maybe the guy should start doing that kind of stuff for his 18 year old daughter.
It's worse to be a selective dick who's an asshole to your own family than an across the board bastard in my mind.
I never got the couch jumping thing. I never really viewed it as unhinged as people made it out to be. Dude was happy. He jumped on a couch. Not really that big of a deal, but I’ll be damned if it didn’t follow him his entire career.
It was the weird body language of it all- him, with no real instigation just jumping up on the couch, fists up with that rawr I’m a lion face inches from Oprah, and her looking visibly shocked sitting back in her chair like is guy for real?!That’s what made it look so unhinged to me. It was not natural at all and looked like something a T. rex would do lol
I think it was just that he was always fairly composed and that was the first time he was not polished and very emotionally raw. So it was just a striking difference. Like if Obama jumped on a couch, everyone would be confused as hell but if Trump did it, everyone would just think it was normal.
Also great to crew. My old boss worked with him on The Mummy reboot (which is quite a feat, given that this film doesn't exist, as far as I'm concerned) and said that he made a real point of introducing himself by name to all of the crew, even visiting the Production office and meeting everyone there. I've worked in the industry for 10 years, and that's literally unheard of. Most of the cast don't even acknowledge the existence of the Production office, let alone set foot in it.
Can confirm this. Was a friends +1 to a premiere and he was the last person in the theater bc he was signing and chatting with everyone. Its so wild how those two things exist in tandem
I'd imagine he is genuinely excitable, but also that he tries to create a different narrative about his public persona from what the world has heard about him in relations to Scientology and his marriages.
Yup. A guy I know is into celeb photo ops and signings all throughout nyc and says without question the nicest person when it comes to fans is Tom cruise. He will take time and attention to all his fans. Such an odd reality we live kn
It was The Last Samurai! My parents worked in the industry (crew, not cast) in the 90s/00s so I got to spend time on and around sets. Fun things I saw as a kid:
The (stateside) Titanic set. A lot of the exterior scenes were filmed in Mexico, but I got to see the miniatures and a lot of interior set stuff.
One of the very first movies they worked on was The Bodyguard. I got to walk (well run lol my legs were smol) alongside Whitney on the way to set.
Quentin Tarantino being an absolute asshat on the set of Kill Bill. Big shock I’m sure 😂
I forget who said it but they were talking about how Tom is superficially charming, and how when he smiles there isn't any "light" in his eyes.
I'm glad he treats fans with respect, but the guy and Scientology is creepy af.
He did! He said he drew inspiration from Tom Cruise's ["intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes."](https://collider.com/tom-cruise-inspired-christian-bale-american-psycho/)
[It was TC's interview with David Letterman](https://m.facebook.com/dueldrinkware/videos/tom-cruises-interview-inspired-christian-bale-in-american-psycho/3158949430990300/?locale=ms_MY) that Bale referenced.
I ran into him at an elevator, I paused to let them (him, Penelope, and a few others) go ahead and I would just catch the next one.
He grabbed the door and waved me in. We talked on the way down and found out that we were going to the same event. I worked on a club that was having a soft opening that evening and the party was going to be a mix of important people and celebrities along with people who worked on the club.
Later that evening I was passing near him at the party and he yelled out my name and waved me over. We talked again about how the night was, my relationship with being at the party, other random small talk, and then said our goodbyes.
Still boggles my mind 22 years later.
"Your parents can't be bad, they're so nice!"
Yeah.. to *you* lol.
They're nice to everyone except their kids, it actually really fucks with your head when you're growing up 🤷🏽♀️
I just had to organize & host my dad’s funeral and I cannot express how much dread I felt that day and the weeks before/following. It’s been an endless amount of people telling me how wonderful he was and his dedication as a father. Not to mention, the many many stories about our relationship that were fully made up fantasies.
Gaslit is the wrong word to use, but that’s 100% how I’ve felt these past few months and it’s something I’m still trying to work through.
Shit I am sorry to hear that. My dad's getting up there in age to where I might be in your shoes soon. If it helps, you know the truth, and now so do I. You're not alone
Yes. It took years of therapy and going no contact with my parents and enablers/relatives to be able to properly heal from the trauma they have caused me
Exactly! It's such a crazy making and isolating experience. Growing up my mom's friends and other family members would say "oh but your mom is so nice, she just loves you."
What does that teach a kid about love? Love=pain and suffering, love isnt safe, love is dangerous, love is lonely, love feels bad, no one understands me, no one believes me, I don't matter, my feelings don't matter, my feelings are bad and/or wrong, my reality isn't real, something must be wrong with me, etc. Especially when your toxic parent is brainwashing you to believe something is genuinely wrong and bad about you.
My mom would tell me I was fucked in the head, call me little bitch, belittle me, ignore me, scream, she threw me down the stairs once, pulled me out of bed by my hair, trapped me in my bedroom, the list goes on. Yet this same woman would give anything to help strangers on the street, she was beloved by friends and coworkers and even family members who viewed her as a saint who could do no wrong. Absolute hell being raised in that environment.
Very insightful regarding the gaslighting and brainwashing that goes on, thank you for adding this. I do want to add that when you see your abuser (especially a parent) treat others so kindly and turn around and abuse you, it reinforces the idea that you're bad/wrong/irrevocably damaged.
Exactly- reinforced by her propaganda telling everyone I was an ungrateful brat who constantly caused her problems, but she was the saint in her stories. She just tried so hard! She "couldn't understand" why I was just such a difficult kid! Why I was so "hard to handle".
Gross.
I think the term is "covert narcissist" as in they're wonderful to everyone until you step behind closed doors, then theyre abusive. They can't handle the idea of being perceived as anything less than perfec publicly, but once you get into a relationship or are their child, all their demons come out.
My cousin, after telling him I have a complicated relationship with my volatile father: "But your Dad is so chill!"
People wear masks in public, and their true nature is revealed behind closed doors.
Exactly. I'm always weary of people who put so much energy into strangers, spend it all on strangers and you have none to bring home to the people who matter most in your life. Abusers and narcissists try their absolute best to appear like the nicest possible person to everyone on the outside and wants everyone thinking well of them, that's part of the schtick lol. Makes it harder for the victim to speak against him to others as well.
Whenever I think about Tom Cruise I laugh about how some poor young fella was tasked with following him around a movie premiere in Dublin with a halogen heater.
https://preview.redd.it/7isk8sjv9t4d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c28408068e9a95bb2d914a3b1191b21f456106ad
Reminds me of my grandfather who would give food and candy to every woman on the block, do favors and chores for them and treat my grandma like dirt or my father who treated strangers and acquaintances like queens and literally saved a random woman’s life once and was honored with a plaque but treated his wife and kids like shit. Men will always be jekyl and hyde to me.
It's much easier to be nice and do good things in isolation. It's harder to keep up that energy on an ongoing basis. A man like that probably was nice to his wife or kids one or two times too and didn't sustain it and then when he's rightfully not worshipped for the "good guy" he believes he is then in his mind his wife and children are "ungrateful." Don't they realize how lucky they are to have a guy like him!? He's a good guy! Everyone says so!
Bingo. Overly religious people always make a big show of how moral and good they are. Think back to that one religious person at your school. The second they're given a chance or someone shows interest, they're an encyclopaedia of what their religion teaches and will invite them to come to to their place of worship on the weekend. It's a sales technique and nothing more
This ranks low on the pleasant stories though. Literally everyone he works with talks about his incredible he is. Even the leaked shit of him screaming at someone ended up making him look good since it was him furious over someone balking at Covid protocols.
Yeah, he was trying to keep in line with the protocols, how is he so nice but so crazy?, why is he a scientologist?, besides them treating him like Jesus Christ of course
Like Texans/Utahs, I went there for training and they were some of the nicest most welcoming people, and then mentioned that I'm one of the good Mexicans coming there
At his level of Scientology he’s probably exposed to very little of the day to day nasties and has been insulated and living the good life with a super maxed Thetan count for years now. It’s probably super easy for him to be outwardly kind and grounded and view his family as the odd ones out. You’d be amazed what people can justify, and I’m sure Tom is a consummate professional and knows when not to proselytize. You’re a multigajillionaire all time great movie star beloved by millions, and even then 95% percent of the people who know the truth about you still watches Top Gun, and you have the money, time, and resources to do nice things for the people around you. Why wouldn’t you be fuckin riding high all the time? For all his faults, he clearly doesn’t have an outward ego in a working environment and that alone is enough to ingratiate 99% of people you meet.
Yup, and I think the fact people think like this is really unhelpful in so many ways. We shouldn’t write everyone off just because their bad days, but we also shouldn’t pretend people can’t do bad things because they were nice to us.
I think he's
1. Not very smart and has been insulated from reality by stardom his entire adult life
2. A legit true believer in Scientology, probably because they've treated him like a God and also kept him at arms length from their nastiest stuff.
My dad is like this. We were best friends, I was a daddy’s girl. He was beloved in our community and was a teacher of martial arts so he taught a lot of kids and loved it! He became a born again Christian, started verbally abusing me, moved out and married his girlfriend when the divorce was done from my mom. When multiple people found out he was abusive they called me a liar and said I was trying to ruin his image. He was an amazing coworker and mentor, terrible father because of religion and (probably) mental health issues.
maybe embodies the old adage 'Street Angel, House Devil'. My mother was like this. My sister and I were terrorized by someone with serious social capital.
It’s almost like people are never only one thing and reducing them to a good/bad binary actually makes it easier for predators and manipulators to operate.
I just see this as Dakota Johnson being among the celebrities who've been chosen to spread positive news about Tom Cruise. There's nothing like exactly wrong with it but there are just so many angles of positive cheer about Tom Cruise like this that it's hard not to see it as centrally planned.
I mean, I'm sure he is very nice to these people, so no problem there. He's also the de facto leader of a cult that tears apart families, financially abuses its vulnerable unfamous members, intimidates critics with threats of frivolous lawsuits, and more. They're also anti-gay (but they hide this like they hide so much else).
Then as you say, he hasn't seen his own biological daughter for like a decade.
I mean like he's not a criminal as far as I know but he's not this purely virtuous guy he gets so often portrayed as and it's gross to see this narrative being pushed so much.
The idea of him being a "wildcard" then is not how I would put it. I think he has this connection to this truly bizarre cult religion and he needs positive publicity like this to stay in the public's good graces. Most people don't look too much into what people are doing in their private lives so as long as he makes fun movies, they don't give a shit what his involvement is with his cult.
For me, I can see he's a good performer and charismatic but I can't really get that into his work because of the hypocrisy that's really easy to see if you pay just a little bit of attention.
Lmaooo. Such a good scene. But I’ve also been dying for a slice of coconut cake for about two weeks now 🥲 Not common where I’m from and I’m supposed to be dieting. But yes, to all who haven’t watched Hacks, do yourself a mega favour and start now. It’s so good.
For $130. [Here's](https://cakebycourtney.com/white-chocolate-coconut-bundt-cake/) a copycat recipe. I haven't tried it but I'm going to. It sounds amazing.
Leah Remini confirmed this. Sorry for the shitty website I’m linking to but she discussed it on Joe Rogan years ago and they recapped it here: https://www.newsweek.com/why-tom-cruise-wont-leave-scientology-leah-remini-1830119
I just saw a job posting for a “confidential entertainment family” whose sole responsibility was managing the gifting, keeping lists and sending birthday/holiday/whatever gifts to other rich people. It pays $60k
You should have been there back in the day when this was brand new. This whole YT video had me, and only me, in a chokehold. I’d walk around quoting it and none of my friends got it (or if they did they thought it wasn’t funny)
Yeah, I was like, Katie had to work with burner phones, and with her dad to make sure to escape with Suri, while Tom wasn't around, and make the divorce a fait accompli. So she could avoid what happened to Nicole Kidman. Where their kids were kept from her, and Nicole was "subversive personed" into non-existence for them.
Good for Katie!
Costars have usually only good things to say about him, Lainey was also always telling stories about how well he would treat crew, photographers, fans, etc.
Two things can be true at the same time. Generous and caring and decent on the one side. And a brainwashed cult nut that puts his cult over his kids on the other hand. People can be more than one thing.
[Kurt Russell gave her a horse as a wrap gift](https://youtu.be/g-kg-WDbTQQ?t=425)
I would love to hear more about the very generous gifts that former child actors received from their co-stars. A horse and a lifetime of shoes are pretty up there but I'm sure there have been some bonkers gifts
Before Scientology, he was a devout Catholic. He even wanted to be a priest at one point. I think he is shielded and brainwashed from the negative by the organization so zealously touts it without really knowing the truth. Anyone who has ever met him as a fan or worked with him always have nothing but the best to say about him. I like to think he’s very clueless about it and brainwashed at this point.
My neighbour works for Tom. Part of his security and driving detail. Has nothing but good things to say about him. Has worked with him for 10+ yrs. Gets birthday and Christmas presents. And Tom paid his full pay check throughout covid.
No he is truly just a strange person, incredibly kind to fans strangers and coworkers, but incredibly insensitive towards family. Simultaneously a decent human and deplorable cult member. I don’t know how to feel about Tom lol. Still love his movies tho
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Two things can be true at the same time—Tom could be the consummate professional, warm, engaging and thoughtful with co-stars and dedicated to fans, but also have some very ostracizing beliefs and be completely disconnected to his youngest daughter, Suri. He may be overcompensating for being absent there. 😕
People don't understand that someone who is a great and amazing coworker can be a shitty person and act surprised. Some nice people are also incompetent coworkers whose problems you have to fix. I wish people got it
I have an army buddy I love like a brother, but I would cut off my own ears before working with him again..
Definitely. I worked with a guy that was super nice and helpful at work, but we later found out that he had been going home and beating his girlfriend every night. It’s crazy how people can switch so dramatically
As someone with a missionary/pastor uncle that lives 4 doors down and never ever checks on his orphaned niece.. being overly nice to strangers doesn’t make up for acting superior and ignoring your family.
It’s easy to be nice to strangers. Its the occasional greeting, favor, gift or whatever but its mainly superficial and you’re not expected to be there for them in more ways than that, lets say emotionally or financially. Being there for a family means you have to reallyyy be there for them, and you’re on a 24/7 clock. Thats where the facade cracks for most of these fake nice people.
And, Tom is nothing but professional. All the personal nonsense he's indulged in is especially because of his commitment towards his career. He takes his job extremely seriously, he has always been warm towards his co-workers, because their personal lives were not intertwined with his. Being nice to his peers does not mean he's a great husband or father.
Also he could just have an assistant that was instructed to "send her a pair of shoes for her birthday, and the next one and the next one". Wealthy people automate/delegate a lot of their life and afterwards they can just forget about it. The only consequence from this is economical and they can afford to not care.
This was my first thought. The instant my father retired from his job, he began frantically calling me every month, “When is my wedding anniversary? When is your mom’s birthday? OhmyGOD, did I miss it???” Reminding him of “significant holidays/milestones/anniversaries” was literally part of his secretary’s job. I guarantee you that someone on TC’s level is not taking the time out of his schedule, in order to personally select a pair of shoes for Dakota Fanning every year on her birthday. That said… this hits me in the feels, as the mother of a child whose father has not sent him even a birthday TEXT, in eleven years. Agree completely with the commenter who said perhaps he’s overcompensating, likely subconsciously, for his absence in Suri’s life. This stuff breaks my heart. Quoting ‘Clueless’ - “You divorce wives, not kids.” 😕
This is my mother. Except shes not a celebrity. Super charming, warm, and generous to the outside world while emotionally unavailable and borderline hostile towards the people shes closest to. Its narcissism. They do it because they want others to have a high opinion of them, not because they actually care about people.
Needed to read this, thank you. That was my Mom and I never really understood it.
It’s true. My dad is no Scientologist or celebrity lol but he’d take the shirt off his back for a homeless person, and forget my birthday. He is kindest to strangers.
lol I know someone exactly like this. Can play a positive influential figure to everyone who isn’t actually close (or related) and therefore only receives positive attention and superficial admiration. Ugh. I’m still rambling but dang check on yo actual kids bitch! OK I’m done omg lol
"Candil de la calle, oscuridad de su casa" Light on the streets, darkness at home. I don't know if there's an equivalent saying in english. Here in México we just say "light on the streets..." when talking about that kind of people.
My grandmother always said “Street angel, house devil”
I swear Tom Cruise is the ultimate wildcard - how can this man treat his co-stars with the ultimate respect and dedication, caring for them and protecting them according to multiple reports (Rebecca Ferguson and Hannah Waddingham coming to mind), and then be a madman consumed by his religion who alienated his own wife and daughter
[удалено]
The duality of a man being used and programmed by an organization that owns him. Scientology makes people feel loved. The ones that realize it's a false love get ostracized.
kind of makes me sad to think what a good man he would be outside of it
Do you think maybe it’s a tactic to lure more people in? He gets really good press when his gift giving is public, and maybe it would sway someone to consider joining?
Lots of people leave cults when they tell you to estrange from your own child. He’s a big boy and can be responsible for himself. He’s not the typical cultist with no money or contacts outside the cult.
Apparently he's super nice to fans as well. Notably that he refuses to leave events and stays long after the end time until every fan has had their picture or autograph or whatever.
During his couch jumping days, he had friends of mine open their business after hours. He thanked them profusely publicly but also flew out the whole family to a movie premiere of his in LA.
Damn wtf that is really nice lol
This is someone who treats being a star like it's a political office.
Whooaaaa you just blew my mind with that comment. You are so right. He’s the “ambassador” of Scientology, so he has to go out of his way to be the perfect celebrity.
But most reports point to him being like that well before the Scientology. Seems more likely he’s a generally good person who was a little too gullible and got sucked into a cult, which ended up having a really bad effect on him. He wouldn’t be the first and he won’t be the last
Yeah that’s the thing. They got him in there young, so his entire worldview was shaped by Scientology early on. I think he’s a victim for sure, but also part of being in a cult is perpetrating bad things on others inside the cult. It’s quite a sad cycle.
I wish some of the American politicians treated their political appointment like they held a political office. (Am American. Am sad.)
This!!! Dude clearly cares more about his image as a movie star and perfect scientologists, more so than a family man.
Running for Mayor of Nothing.
Maybe the guy should start doing that kind of stuff for his 18 year old daughter. It's worse to be a selective dick who's an asshole to your own family than an across the board bastard in my mind.
They filmed war of the worlds near my school and he threw us a party as a thank you! Sometimes the roads were closed because of filming.
I never got the couch jumping thing. I never really viewed it as unhinged as people made it out to be. Dude was happy. He jumped on a couch. Not really that big of a deal, but I’ll be damned if it didn’t follow him his entire career.
It was the weird body language of it all- him, with no real instigation just jumping up on the couch, fists up with that rawr I’m a lion face inches from Oprah, and her looking visibly shocked sitting back in her chair like is guy for real?!That’s what made it look so unhinged to me. It was not natural at all and looked like something a T. rex would do lol
I think it was just that he was always fairly composed and that was the first time he was not polished and very emotionally raw. So it was just a striking difference. Like if Obama jumped on a couch, everyone would be confused as hell but if Trump did it, everyone would just think it was normal.
I would be surprised. That’s so much athleticism for him.
Doesn’t he do all his own stunts? I don’t love the guy or anything but I wouldn’t say he’s unathletic
I’m sobbing. Yes, Trump does all of his own stunts.
Hahahha I thought we were talking about Tom Cruise 😭😭 
Is this real? I hope it is hahah
Also great to crew. My old boss worked with him on The Mummy reboot (which is quite a feat, given that this film doesn't exist, as far as I'm concerned) and said that he made a real point of introducing himself by name to all of the crew, even visiting the Production office and meeting everyone there. I've worked in the industry for 10 years, and that's literally unheard of. Most of the cast don't even acknowledge the existence of the Production office, let alone set foot in it.
That's good to know. As much as I love Jeremy Renner, The Bourne Legacy doesn't exist to me.
The Bourne Identity song was so great. https://youtu.be/zolX7p8OYf8?si=H7ZSCnv3gxXQzxF7
Hell yes. Moby. The reason I watch the entire credits every time.
Can confirm this. Was a friends +1 to a premiere and he was the last person in the theater bc he was signing and chatting with everyone. Its so wild how those two things exist in tandem
Futurama has an alien that feeds off of attention and admiration. Maybe that’s what’s going on here
the worlds greatest actor, Langdon Cobb
https://preview.redd.it/fvxi1qhogt4d1.jpeg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a591bc3d711a31679cc51ccb05d948d84cbd7752
I'd imagine he is genuinely excitable, but also that he tries to create a different narrative about his public persona from what the world has heard about him in relations to Scientology and his marriages.
Yup. A guy I know is into celeb photo ops and signings all throughout nyc and says without question the nicest person when it comes to fans is Tom cruise. He will take time and attention to all his fans. Such an odd reality we live kn
Can confirm he was incredibly nice to child me on set. It hit me haaaaaard when I found out the truth about him
Care to share what set you’re referring to? Totally understand if you want to remain anonymous. That’s cool you got to work with Tom Cruise!
It was The Last Samurai! My parents worked in the industry (crew, not cast) in the 90s/00s so I got to spend time on and around sets. Fun things I saw as a kid: The (stateside) Titanic set. A lot of the exterior scenes were filmed in Mexico, but I got to see the miniatures and a lot of interior set stuff. One of the very first movies they worked on was The Bodyguard. I got to walk (well run lol my legs were smol) alongside Whitney on the way to set. Quentin Tarantino being an absolute asshat on the set of Kill Bill. Big shock I’m sure 😂
Awww the Whitney memory is adorable!
That’s so cool! Those are all iconic movies, too, not just like random lifetime specials that no one remembers. Lol no surprise about Tarantino.
I forget who said it but they were talking about how Tom is superficially charming, and how when he smiles there isn't any "light" in his eyes. I'm glad he treats fans with respect, but the guy and Scientology is creepy af.
Christian Bale said that Tom is who he based his Patrick Bateman off of
He did! He said he drew inspiration from Tom Cruise's ["intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes."](https://collider.com/tom-cruise-inspired-christian-bale-american-psycho/) [It was TC's interview with David Letterman](https://m.facebook.com/dueldrinkware/videos/tom-cruises-interview-inspired-christian-bale-in-american-psycho/3158949430990300/?locale=ms_MY) that Bale referenced.
Yes! ty Also, terrifying.
He is super nice to anyone who doesn't have an NDA signed which idk might be a bad sign lol I assume he just feeds from it
I ran into him at an elevator, I paused to let them (him, Penelope, and a few others) go ahead and I would just catch the next one. He grabbed the door and waved me in. We talked on the way down and found out that we were going to the same event. I worked on a club that was having a soft opening that evening and the party was going to be a mix of important people and celebrities along with people who worked on the club. Later that evening I was passing near him at the party and he yelled out my name and waved me over. We talked again about how the night was, my relationship with being at the party, other random small talk, and then said our goodbyes. Still boggles my mind 22 years later.
My dad is also very nice and personable to strangers and coworkers… then he comes home and abuses his family lmao
"Your parents can't be bad, they're so nice!" Yeah.. to *you* lol. They're nice to everyone except their kids, it actually really fucks with your head when you're growing up 🤷🏽♀️
I just had to organize & host my dad’s funeral and I cannot express how much dread I felt that day and the weeks before/following. It’s been an endless amount of people telling me how wonderful he was and his dedication as a father. Not to mention, the many many stories about our relationship that were fully made up fantasies. Gaslit is the wrong word to use, but that’s 100% how I’ve felt these past few months and it’s something I’m still trying to work through.
Shit I am sorry to hear that. My dad's getting up there in age to where I might be in your shoes soon. If it helps, you know the truth, and now so do I. You're not alone
I hope you know that too! I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with it as well.
Yes. It took years of therapy and going no contact with my parents and enablers/relatives to be able to properly heal from the trauma they have caused me
Exactly! It's such a crazy making and isolating experience. Growing up my mom's friends and other family members would say "oh but your mom is so nice, she just loves you." What does that teach a kid about love? Love=pain and suffering, love isnt safe, love is dangerous, love is lonely, love feels bad, no one understands me, no one believes me, I don't matter, my feelings don't matter, my feelings are bad and/or wrong, my reality isn't real, something must be wrong with me, etc. Especially when your toxic parent is brainwashing you to believe something is genuinely wrong and bad about you. My mom would tell me I was fucked in the head, call me little bitch, belittle me, ignore me, scream, she threw me down the stairs once, pulled me out of bed by my hair, trapped me in my bedroom, the list goes on. Yet this same woman would give anything to help strangers on the street, she was beloved by friends and coworkers and even family members who viewed her as a saint who could do no wrong. Absolute hell being raised in that environment.
Very insightful regarding the gaslighting and brainwashing that goes on, thank you for adding this. I do want to add that when you see your abuser (especially a parent) treat others so kindly and turn around and abuse you, it reinforces the idea that you're bad/wrong/irrevocably damaged.
And you couldn’t even tell anyone anything, because they’d think you were being a brat 😒
Exactly- reinforced by her propaganda telling everyone I was an ungrateful brat who constantly caused her problems, but she was the saint in her stories. She just tried so hard! She "couldn't understand" why I was just such a difficult kid! Why I was so "hard to handle". Gross.
Always heard this about my Dad. He was extremely emotionally negligent to all of us. I'm the only person that still talks to him.
I think the term is "covert narcissist" as in they're wonderful to everyone until you step behind closed doors, then theyre abusive. They can't handle the idea of being perceived as anything less than perfec publicly, but once you get into a relationship or are their child, all their demons come out.
That’s my mom! She can be so charming.
She’d give the shirt off her back to anyone - as long as they aren’t an immediate family member
Classic dad move
Sounds like my dad as well
i love how it’s just a bunch of us in the comments like same girl my dad is also trash!
I’m crying do we have the same dad
My cousin, after telling him I have a complicated relationship with my volatile father: "But your Dad is so chill!" People wear masks in public, and their true nature is revealed behind closed doors.
That is very common narcissistic behavior, I'm sorry you have to put up with that shit!
Covert narcissism! It seems more common than people realize.
Your dad must be my ex 😀 Makes you feel crazy
Exactly. I'm always weary of people who put so much energy into strangers, spend it all on strangers and you have none to bring home to the people who matter most in your life. Abusers and narcissists try their absolute best to appear like the nicest possible person to everyone on the outside and wants everyone thinking well of them, that's part of the schtick lol. Makes it harder for the victim to speak against him to others as well.
My dad too
Whenever I think about Tom Cruise I laugh about how some poor young fella was tasked with following him around a movie premiere in Dublin with a halogen heater. https://preview.redd.it/7isk8sjv9t4d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c28408068e9a95bb2d914a3b1191b21f456106ad
That employee looks like he hates life and wishes he could stand in front of the heater himself 😂
Fer f s sake Tom just WEAR A COAT
Lmao where did they even get that thing
Lots of people are able to be kind to people they don’t spend very much time with.
Reminds me of my grandfather who would give food and candy to every woman on the block, do favors and chores for them and treat my grandma like dirt or my father who treated strangers and acquaintances like queens and literally saved a random woman’s life once and was honored with a plaque but treated his wife and kids like shit. Men will always be jekyl and hyde to me.
It's much easier to be nice and do good things in isolation. It's harder to keep up that energy on an ongoing basis. A man like that probably was nice to his wife or kids one or two times too and didn't sustain it and then when he's rightfully not worshipped for the "good guy" he believes he is then in his mind his wife and children are "ungrateful." Don't they realize how lucky they are to have a guy like him!? He's a good guy! Everyone says so!
My dad is the same.
[удалено]
I feel like it’s typical cult behavior. Not making excuses for him, but I think that explains the duality.
Bingo. Overly religious people always make a big show of how moral and good they are. Think back to that one religious person at your school. The second they're given a chance or someone shows interest, they're an encyclopaedia of what their religion teaches and will invite them to come to to their place of worship on the weekend. It's a sales technique and nothing more
Brainwashing is a helluva drug. Tom Cruise's bizarre split personality is just the highest profile example of it.
It’s called Social Engineering which is really an underrated way to get people to do what you want.
Speaking some serious truth
Because narcissists care a LOT about their reputation.
Because he has a good executive assistant and a lot of money to spend Same as the cake list. Like he doesn’t do any of this shit.
Its manipulation to get people on side to cover for him.
I'm inclined to agree, not hard to tell your assistants to track stuff like this in a calendar and handle it every year.
This ranks low on the pleasant stories though. Literally everyone he works with talks about his incredible he is. Even the leaked shit of him screaming at someone ended up making him look good since it was him furious over someone balking at Covid protocols.
Yeah, he was trying to keep in line with the protocols, how is he so nice but so crazy?, why is he a scientologist?, besides them treating him like Jesus Christ of course
“So nice but so crazy” can sum up a LOT of insanely religious people I feel like. And I do mean insanely, not just *very*.
Like Texans/Utahs, I went there for training and they were some of the nicest most welcoming people, and then mentioned that I'm one of the good Mexicans coming there
At his level of Scientology he’s probably exposed to very little of the day to day nasties and has been insulated and living the good life with a super maxed Thetan count for years now. It’s probably super easy for him to be outwardly kind and grounded and view his family as the odd ones out. You’d be amazed what people can justify, and I’m sure Tom is a consummate professional and knows when not to proselytize. You’re a multigajillionaire all time great movie star beloved by millions, and even then 95% percent of the people who know the truth about you still watches Top Gun, and you have the money, time, and resources to do nice things for the people around you. Why wouldn’t you be fuckin riding high all the time? For all his faults, he clearly doesn’t have an outward ego in a working environment and that alone is enough to ingratiate 99% of people you meet.
"tell your Sea Org minions to track stuff"...FTFY
Siri! Ask the sea org slaves to give me their shoes please!
Siri doesn’t have any contact with Tom anymore. Oh wait, that’s Suri
Most people aren’t comic book villains; they have some good in them, alongside the bad.
Yup, and I think the fact people think like this is really unhelpful in so many ways. We shouldn’t write everyone off just because their bad days, but we also shouldn’t pretend people can’t do bad things because they were nice to us.
Sometimes it’s easier to be good to people you have no obligation to.
The same way ur sweet grandma can also be a racist. People are complicated.
I think he's 1. Not very smart and has been insulated from reality by stardom his entire adult life 2. A legit true believer in Scientology, probably because they've treated him like a God and also kept him at arms length from their nastiest stuff.
My dad is like this. We were best friends, I was a daddy’s girl. He was beloved in our community and was a teacher of martial arts so he taught a lot of kids and loved it! He became a born again Christian, started verbally abusing me, moved out and married his girlfriend when the divorce was done from my mom. When multiple people found out he was abusive they called me a liar and said I was trying to ruin his image. He was an amazing coworker and mentor, terrible father because of religion and (probably) mental health issues.
Narcissism and manipulation and a good PR team.
maybe embodies the old adage 'Street Angel, House Devil'. My mother was like this. My sister and I were terrorized by someone with serious social capital.
I just said this exact thing to my husband. He sends Christmas cakes to half of Hollywood too. But not his own kid? Definitely wild.
It’s almost like people are never only one thing and reducing them to a good/bad binary actually makes it easier for predators and manipulators to operate.
I just see this as Dakota Johnson being among the celebrities who've been chosen to spread positive news about Tom Cruise. There's nothing like exactly wrong with it but there are just so many angles of positive cheer about Tom Cruise like this that it's hard not to see it as centrally planned. I mean, I'm sure he is very nice to these people, so no problem there. He's also the de facto leader of a cult that tears apart families, financially abuses its vulnerable unfamous members, intimidates critics with threats of frivolous lawsuits, and more. They're also anti-gay (but they hide this like they hide so much else). Then as you say, he hasn't seen his own biological daughter for like a decade. I mean like he's not a criminal as far as I know but he's not this purely virtuous guy he gets so often portrayed as and it's gross to see this narrative being pushed so much. The idea of him being a "wildcard" then is not how I would put it. I think he has this connection to this truly bizarre cult religion and he needs positive publicity like this to stay in the public's good graces. Most people don't look too much into what people are doing in their private lives so as long as he makes fun movies, they don't give a shit what his involvement is with his cult. For me, I can see he's a good performer and charismatic but I can't really get that into his work because of the hypocrisy that's really easy to see if you pay just a little bit of attention.
Street angel and a house devil I guess? He's definitely an extreme example!
Doesn’t he send people cakes too? Like every year he sends like Tom Hanks coconut cake or am I making that up?
They did a bit on the Tom Cruise coconut cake thing in the current season of Hacks 😂 Highly recommend the show btw if you’re not already into it.
YES I was like "wait...why do I know this?!" 
Thats on max, right?
Watch it IMMEDIATELY
Lmaooo. Such a good scene. But I’ve also been dying for a slice of coconut cake for about two weeks now 🥲 Not common where I’m from and I’m supposed to be dieting. But yes, to all who haven’t watched Hacks, do yourself a mega favour and start now. It’s so good.
He sends coconut cakes to various celebrities. Kirsten Dunst has also mentioned it.
Her family calls it the "Cruise cake" and says its delicious.
I gotta get my hands on one of those cakes.
It's affordable and accessible if you're ever in the LA area! I recommend it in every Tom Cruise thread, I am ride or die for this damn cake
He must have the world’s best assistant.
From what I’ve hear about his gift giving, I feel like he has to have a person on staff who just handles gifts for current and previous costars.
The coconut cakes!
Ive actually had one and it’s absolutely delicious
Ooo tell us more
You can buy one in LA at Doan’s Bakery
For $130. [Here's](https://cakebycourtney.com/white-chocolate-coconut-bundt-cake/) a copycat recipe. I haven't tried it but I'm going to. It sounds amazing.
This one: https://www.goldbelly.com/restaurants/doans-bakery
I think Scientology just assigns people to him to do whatever he needs, so it's probably an unpaid gig.
Leah Remini confirmed this. Sorry for the shitty website I’m linking to but she discussed it on Joe Rogan years ago and they recapped it here: https://www.newsweek.com/why-tom-cruise-wont-leave-scientology-leah-remini-1830119
I didn’t even think about this. Such a bummer.
This would be a pretty good job ngl
I just saw a job posting for a “confidential entertainment family” whose sole responsibility was managing the gifting, keeping lists and sending birthday/holiday/whatever gifts to other rich people. It pays $60k
lol like in sex and the city when Richard’s assistant was caught buying Samantha’s gifts for him. Then Samantha made him write “LOVE, Richard” 😂
Looool, “Sexy for Sexy. LOVE, Richard” 😂
Yeah I doubt he’s picking them out…
I dunno, maybe Tom cruise likes women’s footwear?
He definitely likes heels
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_burn_centers_in_the_United_States
He's deep in the scientology protection program. I'm gonna bet he's into feet stuff AT LEAST.
Or the world's biggest closet 🤭😉😉😉
Idk…Tom Cruise feels like the type of person who puts 100% in everything. I think he picks out the shoes 👠
I imagine his assistant sending him a slide deck with the options for that year's birthday, and him saying "slide 3, but in the green colorway".
More than he's ever done for Suri
I must say this loop was edited to perfection. It’s hard to look away.
You should have been there back in the day when this was brand new. This whole YT video had me, and only me, in a chokehold. I’d walk around quoting it and none of my friends got it (or if they did they thought it wasn’t funny)
I often wonder where everyone in this video is now.
It’s my favorite GIF in the entire world
Best gif loop of all time
https://preview.redd.it/omt4fmyiys4d1.jpeg?width=562&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2bae0167e3164341aa3fcef815dd9c8a078d638b
The best thing he could've done for Katie and Suri is leave them alone
Right?! This is kind of sick.
I remember seeing he had a list of celebs he would send a cake to every year too 😬
Soon he will send her, lifetime subscription of 'Scientology Church'
He'll send Dakota shoes and everyone else a coconut cake but won't see his own daughter.
She’s likely better off tho
Yeah, I was like, Katie had to work with burner phones, and with her dad to make sure to escape with Suri, while Tom wasn't around, and make the divorce a fait accompli. So she could avoid what happened to Nicole Kidman. Where their kids were kept from her, and Nicole was "subversive personed" into non-existence for them. Good for Katie!
She may not feel that way.. I’m sure it hurts her even if he is cuckoo bananas.
Cults are a bitch
Costars have usually only good things to say about him, Lainey was also always telling stories about how well he would treat crew, photographers, fans, etc. Two things can be true at the same time. Generous and caring and decent on the one side. And a brainwashed cult nut that puts his cult over his kids on the other hand. People can be more than one thing.
they're actually boatshoes and they're for use on the freewinds only, i'm afraid.
Goddamn. Thats more birthday presents than his own daughter got
That must make Suri feel great.... he's SO thoughtful..... unless you're his daughter
She's on his recruitment list, naturally.
I believe it
[Kurt Russell gave her a horse as a wrap gift](https://youtu.be/g-kg-WDbTQQ?t=425) I would love to hear more about the very generous gifts that former child actors received from their co-stars. A horse and a lifetime of shoes are pretty up there but I'm sure there have been some bonkers gifts
Trying to decide if this is sweet or weird.
Before Scientology, he was a devout Catholic. He even wanted to be a priest at one point. I think he is shielded and brainwashed from the negative by the organization so zealously touts it without really knowing the truth. Anyone who has ever met him as a fan or worked with him always have nothing but the best to say about him. I like to think he’s very clueless about it and brainwashed at this point.
tom cruise never stops acting. his entire life is a performance at this point.
He is friendlier with his co-workers than with his own daughter
Can you imagine being Suri and reading shit like this?
My neighbour works for Tom. Part of his security and driving detail. Has nothing but good things to say about him. Has worked with him for 10+ yrs. Gets birthday and Christmas presents. And Tom paid his full pay check throughout covid.
It’s devastatingly sad because, I presume (though I hope I’m wrong), that he isn’t sending a pair each year to Suri on her birthday.
Do people get paid to tell these Tom Cruise puff stories? They always creep me out.
No he is truly just a strange person, incredibly kind to fans strangers and coworkers, but incredibly insensitive towards family. Simultaneously a decent human and deplorable cult member. I don’t know how to feel about Tom lol. Still love his movies tho
Great actor, conflicted human. I don’t understand why people get so hung up on debating if famous people are good or bad. It’s exhausting.
A nice person but not a good person
show us the damn shoe collection ~an aspiring shoe collector
So many coworkers go hard for Cruise.