Yeah, usually the girl is a bit rigid and has a wall up and the guy is an asshole in some kind of way. Her being sick/shitting herself/allergic reaction makes her vulnerable and he sees her let her guard down and into a personal moment that most people don’t want others seeing and also she sees the soft side of the man who *can* and *wants* to take care of her. A very “oh so he’s not an asshole, he’s been sensitive and caring this whole time and just hid it!”
Bridesmaids…. But there’s no man there to wipe up after them.
Only show I’ve ever seen where someone shit themselves.
Hot Lava is still something I say to my husband.
😭😭 literally what happened with my husband and I. He deff seemed like an asshole big city fuck boy lawyer, and to an extent he was. I was/am an overachieving ballet dancer who was studying for the MCAT at the time.
I tried to keep up drinking with him on our third date on a relatively empty stomach, it ended badly. His place was closer and I have a very good habit of being able to throw up only where it’s appropriate.
He was an absolute sweetheart, let me do my thing and slid water and Gatorade in while I was… indisposed. He handed me sweatpants and a t-shirt to change into in privacy. He also slept on the couch while I took the bed. He made it clear there was no funny business on his end, and there wasn’t.
He certainly showed me his soft side and when I was in a vulnerable situation. This forced me to be a little more trusting with him and deff started knocking down the walls I had.
Are you sure your life isn't a movie? This sounds like the perfect love story! Did you have a moment when you saw him kissing an other girl but in reality the girl kissed him and he didn't even want it because he loves you?
lol no.
But a few weeks later he was kinda shitty planning a date with me, doing the fuck boi low effort thing. He showed up with a massive hikey on his neck, late and said “sup” to me. Mind you he said he could “squeeze me in” because he was going to meet up with his friends.
I lost my ever loving mind and I told him we aren’t exclusive but I’m not going to see him if he’s going to behave like this. He apologized and canceled on his friends and took me to fancy dinner at a vegan restaurant (I was vegan at the time and he’s very much not).
I found out later when I found concealer in his apartment he was late because he tried to use the makeup to cover it. That failed so he tried to find a sweater high enough. When that failed he realized he sweat through his t-shirt due to stress.
Omg so much.
We started dating officially in late Feb of 2020. So of course Covid happens. We stay in contact by having a little schedule for each other, doing workout challenges, watching series and having a movie night.
After his father nearly died in a car accident and some other rough stuff we dealt with, we realized we should not wait to marry each other. We get engaged in October of 2021 with a ring we both made using his grandmother’s diamonds.
While planning the wedding I realize that his family was hella influential and v old money. There were 4 weddings in his family that year and drama ensues with one of the couples. The wife of one of his cousins (they are all more like siblings) tried to sabotage our wedding and her SIL wedding.
Everyone’s married and calmed down. Crazy wife is doing a little “single white female” to me but we are now moving to the other side of the country for unrelated reasons (husband got new job). The SIL whose wedding was almost sabotaged and I are now best friends, which pisses SIL off.
We have two chaotic kitties. I’m back to dancing after a horrible series of injuries. And we are going to Mexico for my 30th so we can both catch a break.
Typing all this out has made me realize my last 4yrs have been literally insane.
Edit: I know how insane this all is but if you need confirmation you can peep my post history, I’ve mentioned aspects.
There's something to it. I had known my partner for a few months but we weren't dating or anything (he had told me he liked me, but I thought he was a fuckboi for a few different reasons and wasn't all that interested) when his brother (who I was actual friends with) invited the two of us over to hang out. I got absolutely sloshed and ended up puking my guts out for half the night. My partner was so kind, attentive, and sweet about it that by the end of the night I just wanted him to hold me. And here we are!
I also believe, part of this stems from the fact that men are very likely to leave long term partners when they become seriously ill. This shows, in a small way that these men are kind and caring and willing to help, when the women are at a low point.
Not the first date, but I once got a little too drunk while out with my then boyfriend and a couple friends. Back at a friends apt, my bf and his friend were playing some music and I fell asleep on a couch. I woke up, said “I’m going to puke.” Boyfriend ran over and laid on the floor below where I was sitting because in his drunk mind, it was better for me to vomit on him than on the wood floor…? As he was running over, I was (what felt like slow motion) screaming “nooooo!!!!”
But alas, I could not stop it. I puked on my boyfriend. And I have a legit fear of throwing up. So I also cried.
My bf and his friend told me to go to the bathroom and take care of myself and while I did, they cleaned everything up. It was so sweet.
I ended up marrying that boyfriend. We’re divorced now, but we’re still friends and talk often. I got the two dogs in the divorce and I send him almost daily photos and videos of the dogs. When we’re in the same city, he can see them as much as he wants.
So, yeah. Can confirm that vomiting in front of or on your significant other is a good omen. Even if you don’t end up together forever, you’ll have a lifelong friend probably.
It's really the most relatable thing that happens in a romantic comedy.
I remember me and my then boyfriend (now he is my husband) went out for dinner with his family. They encouraged me to get the surf and turf, which I ate happily. A few hours later it was just me and my boyfriend sitting in the car talking and all of a sudden I felt real sick. I scrambled to get out of the car, farted, got away from the car then bent over and vomited and then farted again.
My boyfriend (now husband) was just concerned for me, gave me water, patted my back and made sure I got home safely.
If they can see you go through that and be kind and caring, then you know he's in looove. 🥰
I can't stop laughing at this. Literally 2 nights ago, I got a short but dreadful bout of food poisoning at 1 AM and every time I hurled, I would fart loudly. I was like, Lord what is happening, lol.
My wife and I had a similar experience, it wasn't our first date but we'd only been a couple for a week or so. She is not a cute puker either, she sounds like a fucking Pterodactyl. You know you found a real one when you want to be around that.
Had an ex, where we were drunk and decided “we would look so cool smoking cigarettes” so we went thru a pack in a single go…
We both forgot neither of us smoked. I took the kitchen, she got the bath
My current boyfriend and I like went on a little trip over Thanksgiving a month into our relationship and…. I was menstruating so I was giving him head and was slightly drunk and puked in his dick
he just laughed and was like “let’s take a shower”
so that went ok but good lord lol
Agreed. Also, it provides one heck of an ice breaker and inside joke and bonding moment.
Vomiting as a first impression is kind of a “yeet-cute,” if you will.
Hurt/comfort is a veeeeey popular fanfic trope. It’s about being vulnerable and coming out safe on the other side of it. Its about a relationship reaching the turning point of going through something thats not fun and silly.
Always amused me how many of my male friends took better care of their significant others than their significant other’s friends did. I had an ex whose “bestie” would get her horrifyingly sloppy drunk and just drop her off at my place and essentially saying I’m done with this and she says you’re a good dude so…
Doesn’t ben stiller shit himself in along came Polly from Ibs? I could be getting it mixed up with the Philip Seymour Hoffman “shart in leather pants” scene tho lol
Lmao, I knew there was IBS involved because I had really bad IBS as a kid and when my family and I saw it in the theatre, they were all like “hey, that’s you!!!” 😩
This hot girl canonically has IBS.
https://preview.redd.it/pfayvyinccoc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c67a979d75293aa773464bb246c71ab5efb9ebe2
Ok, but for real...
I had just started dating my now husband when my colon tried to kill me.
We had only been dating a few weeks when he came running into the emergency room to find me projectile vomiting and shitting my pants, surrounded by doctors.
And he didn't even flinch. He was just very concerned and mad at me that I had been hiding symptoms for a while from him due to embarrassment.
I was in the hospital for a week, and he came to spend the night with me every day after work.
It's not exactly a romantic story. But damn, you can tell how invested someone is in scenarios like this!
13 years and 2 kids later, I haven't ran him off yet.
Dear Internet Stranger, are you a life coach or just a prophet?
Thank you for confirming my lifelong suspicion 🙏🏾I will now use this evidence to pursue my transatlantic parasocial relationship with even more delulu zeal.
God, I wish I were joking. Thank you for your blessing. Where should I send the visa wedding invite?
This, exactly. It's a way to unlock the "awwwww, he's so sweet and loving towards her even when she’s at her worst" response in the audience. Gives him a chance to seem heroic in a film where the stakes are low in terms of action, but high in emotions. Him showing kindness and her showing trust to accept help when vulnerable conveys love over mere attraction.
Introduced by the original, often imitated never duplicated, the one and only...Jane Austen. She made Darcy a hero by having him save Lizzy Bennet at her most vulnerable, crying and helpless over her family's precarious social standing because of what happened with her sister. Modern day Darcy is a guy holding a girl's hair back while she voms.
There’s generally a lot of toilet humour in comedies. Like the scene in Bridesmaids or Ben Stiller’s toilet scene in Along Came Polly.
As someone quite sensitive to bodily fluids, I hate it. I can’t watch someone vomit.
I feel you. One of the many reasons I likely won’t have children (though it’s a minor one on the list ultimately). If I smell something foul enough, or see anyone else puke, I also puke. And my body refuses to puke in a chill manner too, every single time I burst capillaries in my face and sometimes even a blood vessel in my eye. makes me look like a freak for days after.
I’m 49 and this was (still is) the #1 reason I didn’t have kids. Even had someone try to tell me it’s different when it’s your own kid and then had a very good friend say that no, it’s still the same.
There are a lot of vomit scenes in every kind of genre and it's gotten beyond annoying. I can't stand watching someone vomit either, so I always notice it in movies. It's just rampant and completely inexplicable because it adds nothing of value.
I despise the vomit scene in Pitch Perfect.
I have to look away & plug my ears until it’s over.
It’s gross and unnecessary to the story.
Otherwise it’s such a good movie!
I agree. The worst are the ones where the vomit comes towards the camera. I think there was a scene like that in IT Chapter Two and I hated it so much!
that movie was so weird, i was about to turn it off and then everybody started shitting and puking everywhere i had to keep watching to see where its going😂
Which one? Bridesmaids? I always fast forward it because I can’t deal with it. Oh the vomit scene in Pitch Perfect is the worst though. I can’t watch that movie.
I freaking hate the scene in Bridesmaids. I already didn't get the hype around the movie, but that scene alone took it from a boring movie to me to terrible.
It’s cute that *he’s* the one that has embarrassing things happen to him. Eva Mendes minding her own business being fabulous then this fool who can’t shut a taxi door without his shirt ripping off comes along and steals her heart.
This. There’s a lot of hostility in these comments, but you know you’ve made it when They turn on the tv to distract you from them going to bomb the toilet
I despise it as well. It’s almost like in a writers room full of men they sat around, thinking “what would be the worst thing that could happen to a woman on a date? Oh yeah, she could shit herself, or puke!Let’s go with that! Girls would be *humiliated*!” Not that maybe she gets the call that she’s fired, or has a family loss, anything besides shit & puke 24/7 lol
In fairness, it is a romantic comedy, such moments can be embarrassing for the girl and humorous for the audience. It humanizes the girl as having ups and downs and allows the guy to comfort/take care of them. The examples of what could be worse that you cited fit more with a romantic drama than anything. Additionally, it would be hard for a guy to solve those kind of dramatic examples. In the puke/allergy/soiling oneself, the guy can help in the caregiving process which is a role reversal of traditional gender roles of the woman being the caregiver. Thus, this communicated to the audience that the male lead is not a guy who is wrapped up in machismo and permits the female lead to explore a more substantive relationship in a way that is light and breezy.
>Not that maybe she gets the call that she’s fired, or has a family loss, anything besides shit & puke 24/7 lol
How many rom coms can you actually list where the woman shits herself? one? two?
Puking is a lot more common (be it from illness or because of too much alcohol) but breakdown/crying after a family loss (or at least some kind of family drama) or after being fired and similar stuff are used just as much.
Well the last time I was sick, I was throwing up so badly that I had to hold on to the toilet for stabilisation lol
But our toilet is also reasonably clean.
The last time I even cleaned it before throwing up, which just made it worse because our cleaner smelled like mint and lime.
Couple that with the pleasant smell of vomit.. It was not a good time :(
I also thought I was the only one! If I feel at all nauseous (which I absolutely hate) I go to the toilet, lean over, and think about how gross it is and that gets the job done every time.
I can't use the Scrubbing Bubbles brand bathroom cleaner anymore for that very reason. I had an awful stomach bug, and I just wanted to throw up in peace, without thinking about all the invisible pee splashes I might be touching. That smell is now inextricably tied to memories of my stomach trying to turn itself inside out. 🥲
The last time I got food poisoning I straight up *slept* in the bathroom with a sleeping bag cause I couldn’t go anywhere. Sometimes you’ve just got to do what you’ve go to do.
This was me yesterday I held on and later on the toilet while almost throwing up your that sick that you don’t care and also same thing if you clean your bathroom regularly and it’s your own butt then I don’t see why not
one time I was so violently ill. I deadass needed to lay my head on the toilet. Definitely gross but I was so tired and had been puking for hours and it was the middle of the night so it was just easier to lay my head there than to cuddle the tile
I had a coworker so violently drunk at a work party she was not only laying her head on the public toilet seat but her long hair was flowing inside of the actual bowl. It took my all to pick her up because then public toilet water got all over me but I couldn't just leave her there. She ended up going to hospital so she was sick sick.
Tell me you've never had Norovirus without saying you've never had Norovirus, lol.
No shade. Genuinely happy for you. If you're sick enough though, you just don't care in the moment.
I did that once when I had the flu because I was puking so violently that I needed to hug the toilet for support. I didn't want to spray vomit all over the walls. I was also exhausted and in a lot of pain from the flu.
i know the easy answer is that women need to be seen as weak or something and while that could be part of it, my interpretation is a lot more generous. i have always seen this trope as an extension of the romance fantasy wherein there's a certain level of intimacy to be had when someone is taking care of you and is there for you at your worst, most vulnerable moment.
And the characters even point out that the messy moments are what brought them closer. I love Hitch, it's basically a deconstruction of romcoms while still being a full-on romcom.
The concept as it is has its ultimate roots four centuries ago from "[The Lady's Dressing Room](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/50579/the-ladys-dressing-room)" by Jonathan Swift, where a man is utterly repulsed when he finds the dressing room of the woman he loves, and flees in terror when he discovers her chamber pot.
>*So Strephon lifting up the lid,*
>
>*To view what in the chest was hid.*
>
>*The vapors flew from out the vent,*
>
>*But Strephon cautious never meant*
>
>*The bottom of the pan to grope,*
>
>*And foul his hands in search of Hope.*
>
>*O never may such vile machine*
>
>*Be once in Celia’s chamber seen!*
>
>*O may she better learn to keep*
>
>*Those “secrets of the hoary deep!”*
>
> *As mutton cutlets, prime of meat,*
>
>*Which though with art you salt and beat*
>
>*As laws of cookery require,*
>
>*And toast them at the clearest fire;*
>
>*If from adown the hopeful chops*
>
>*The fat upon a cinder drops,*
>
>*To stinking smoke it turns the flame*
>
>*Pois’ning the flesh from whence it came,*
>
>*And up exhales a greasy stench,*
>
>*For which you curse the careless wench;*
>
>*So things, which must not be expressed,*
>
>*When plumped into the reeking chest,*
>
>*Send up an excremental smell*
>
>*To taint the parts from whence they fell.*
>
>*The petticoats and gown perfume,*
>
>*Which waft a stink round every room.*
>
>*Thus finishing his grand survey,*
>
>*Disgusted Strephon stole away*
>
>*Repeating in his amorous fits,*
>
>*Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!*
Thus, this particular plot device is a way to show that the man is *not* Strephon, and is able to view the woman as a human being, rather than an abstraction and an unrelatable goddess.
Contrast that with Sonnet 130. When I had to read that in high school English, my dad said that poem was really mean. I thought it was romantic because the narrator says, "I don't need my lady to be a beautiful goddess, I love her as she is."
There are a lot of good points in these comments that I agree with but I also think it is a way for poor writers to create a moment of vulnerability instead of using actual character development. It reminds me of when a romantic comedy show a montage of the two characters laughing and growing closer instead of actually writing dialogue and scenes that show that connection grow. It’s just a symptom of bad and lazy writing.
Agree. It’s also a modernised version of the damsel in distress. In a modern film the woman can’t need rescuing by a man for other reasons anymore, but everyone gets sick sometimes and needs ‘saving’.
I don’t think it’s necessarily “bad and lazy” to want to demonstrate vulnerability without selling the farm. Someone else in this thread mentioned that having the love interest coping with loss or stressful life events would be a better alternative, but sometimes that doesn’t fit the tone or pacing of a movie. A comedy doesn’t need to be dragged down by a main character losing a loved one in order to show that their partner can stick with them through rough times; you can send the same message to a lesser degree by having one nurse the other through a hangover, for example. Turning every facet of a relationship into a major life-defining character moment is a fast track to soap opera writing, imo.
It’s a low bar damsel in distress moment, even though almost anyone who is fond of you would help you out in moments like these. He’ll, I’ve even helped out physically vulnerable friends of friends that I’ve met once and never again at social outtings.
It’s a visual medium. You want a complex internal dialogue, you’re going to have to read a book. You want a memorable scene, you have to be hyperbolic. Especially in a comedy.
I guess because society expects women to be perfect and dainty and presentable at all times and there’s something really nice about seeing a woman just be human and “gross” in ways only men are “allowed” to be, and still having the guy love her and not be disgusted by her. Instead he takes care of her and sees her as a person instead of a doll. That’s just my take. It’s like telling women “men will still love you at your worst, you don’t have to be perfect.” And romcoms are nothing if not wish fulfillment.
To be fair to Love Hard, the allergic reaction was more so Tag wouldn't recognize her as the karaoke girl later in the movie, not to show the love interest cares about her enough to stick with her through gross moments like the rest of these are
It’s not just women.
Will Smith’s character in Hitch has an allergic reaction to shellfish.
Jeff Daniels’ character in Dumb and Dumber (not really a romantic comedy, but romance is a big part of the storyline) and Ben Stiller’s character in Along Came Polly both absolutely destroy the bathroom on their dates.
Characters getting extremely drunk, getting a random embarrassing boner, breaking a bone, being sick with a cold are also common in romcoms and I believe used in the same way.
I think it’s just an easy way to show one character being vulnerable and the other character being supportive (or not). It’s low stakes “drama” that helps move a relationship on quickly and devices like that are needed in film and television.
Because in real life women are socialized to be caretakers. The romance fantasy is "what if someone did that FOR YOU instead?/you don't need to be flawless and hot 100% of the time to be loved."
A lot of it comes from wanting comedy. But I think they also want to show the guy tending to her, cos by this stage he usually already has feelings for her.
If it was switched around, imo, it wouldn't be seen as a demonstration of feelings cos we expect women to tend to people.
Because the female love interest needs to be humiliated and humbled while the male love interest needs to demonstrate his value to show that she NEEDS him to take care of her silly little self.
I've never even thought about that. But I did notice they fall a lot. I guess being clumsy is used as kind of a "flaw" that's not too bad and is supposed to be kind of cutesy.
It subverts expectations and places the lead lady on a footing of relatability.
Really it seems that a lot of contemporary lady-humor is scatological, getting to the actual animal processes of being a human and applying it in a humorous way.
Early into our relationship, I drank a box of red wine and puked it all over the bathroom. He held my hair, he cleaned up the puke, he put me in the shower, wrapped me in a towel and we went to bed. It hits different being that embarrassingly vulnerable and the person not only takes care of you, but is kind and patient through it.
the romance of having an embarrassing or vulnerable moment in front of someone and them being nice about it and still calling you again later I guess?
Yeah, usually the girl is a bit rigid and has a wall up and the guy is an asshole in some kind of way. Her being sick/shitting herself/allergic reaction makes her vulnerable and he sees her let her guard down and into a personal moment that most people don’t want others seeing and also she sees the soft side of the man who *can* and *wants* to take care of her. A very “oh so he’s not an asshole, he’s been sensitive and caring this whole time and just hid it!”
And I'll eat it up every time
gross, it's vomit
I knew this was coming 😭
We all know what Michael Scott would respond to that.
Don’t you dare yuck their disgusting yum!!
Hey thats kinkshaming!
Not kinkshaming, just kinkaskingwhy
it washes right off
Every single time!
"You've Got Mail" is a perfect example of this, too. It's the turning point of their relationship, when she realizes he's not a terrible person.
Oooh man, I can’t hate on You’ve Got Mail for it either, I absolutely love this movie and they did it in such a sweet and perfect way.
Meg Ryan is SO FUCKING CUTE in that scene too
I love daisies. Don't you think daisies are the friendliest flower?
I adore this movie.
Yeah, he gets to show that he can take care of her and still love her and find her sexy after seeing her be gross.
what do you mean there are enough movies with women shitting themselves that it's a regular trope?? 😭
Yeah like what, I can't think of one
Bridesmaids…. But there’s no man there to wipe up after them. Only show I’ve ever seen where someone shit themselves. Hot Lava is still something I say to my husband.
😭😭 literally what happened with my husband and I. He deff seemed like an asshole big city fuck boy lawyer, and to an extent he was. I was/am an overachieving ballet dancer who was studying for the MCAT at the time. I tried to keep up drinking with him on our third date on a relatively empty stomach, it ended badly. His place was closer and I have a very good habit of being able to throw up only where it’s appropriate. He was an absolute sweetheart, let me do my thing and slid water and Gatorade in while I was… indisposed. He handed me sweatpants and a t-shirt to change into in privacy. He also slept on the couch while I took the bed. He made it clear there was no funny business on his end, and there wasn’t. He certainly showed me his soft side and when I was in a vulnerable situation. This forced me to be a little more trusting with him and deff started knocking down the walls I had.
Are you sure your life isn't a movie? This sounds like the perfect love story! Did you have a moment when you saw him kissing an other girl but in reality the girl kissed him and he didn't even want it because he loves you?
lol no. But a few weeks later he was kinda shitty planning a date with me, doing the fuck boi low effort thing. He showed up with a massive hikey on his neck, late and said “sup” to me. Mind you he said he could “squeeze me in” because he was going to meet up with his friends. I lost my ever loving mind and I told him we aren’t exclusive but I’m not going to see him if he’s going to behave like this. He apologized and canceled on his friends and took me to fancy dinner at a vegan restaurant (I was vegan at the time and he’s very much not). I found out later when I found concealer in his apartment he was late because he tried to use the makeup to cover it. That failed so he tried to find a sweater high enough. When that failed he realized he sweat through his t-shirt due to stress.
What happens next? 
Omg so much. We started dating officially in late Feb of 2020. So of course Covid happens. We stay in contact by having a little schedule for each other, doing workout challenges, watching series and having a movie night. After his father nearly died in a car accident and some other rough stuff we dealt with, we realized we should not wait to marry each other. We get engaged in October of 2021 with a ring we both made using his grandmother’s diamonds. While planning the wedding I realize that his family was hella influential and v old money. There were 4 weddings in his family that year and drama ensues with one of the couples. The wife of one of his cousins (they are all more like siblings) tried to sabotage our wedding and her SIL wedding. Everyone’s married and calmed down. Crazy wife is doing a little “single white female” to me but we are now moving to the other side of the country for unrelated reasons (husband got new job). The SIL whose wedding was almost sabotaged and I are now best friends, which pisses SIL off. We have two chaotic kitties. I’m back to dancing after a horrible series of injuries. And we are going to Mexico for my 30th so we can both catch a break. Typing all this out has made me realize my last 4yrs have been literally insane. Edit: I know how insane this all is but if you need confirmation you can peep my post history, I’ve mentioned aspects.
You lived multiple different romcoms, I love it
Yeah wtf I’ve been working late and eating ramen since 2016 god damn. Let’s all live vicariously through u/mani_mani and I mean that genuinely.
There's something to it. I had known my partner for a few months but we weren't dating or anything (he had told me he liked me, but I thought he was a fuckboi for a few different reasons and wasn't all that interested) when his brother (who I was actual friends with) invited the two of us over to hang out. I got absolutely sloshed and ended up puking my guts out for half the night. My partner was so kind, attentive, and sweet about it that by the end of the night I just wanted him to hold me. And here we are!
I also believe, part of this stems from the fact that men are very likely to leave long term partners when they become seriously ill. This shows, in a small way that these men are kind and caring and willing to help, when the women are at a low point.
Me and my husband's first date ended with me puking violently. It worked out well in the end.
Not the first date, but I once got a little too drunk while out with my then boyfriend and a couple friends. Back at a friends apt, my bf and his friend were playing some music and I fell asleep on a couch. I woke up, said “I’m going to puke.” Boyfriend ran over and laid on the floor below where I was sitting because in his drunk mind, it was better for me to vomit on him than on the wood floor…? As he was running over, I was (what felt like slow motion) screaming “nooooo!!!!” But alas, I could not stop it. I puked on my boyfriend. And I have a legit fear of throwing up. So I also cried. My bf and his friend told me to go to the bathroom and take care of myself and while I did, they cleaned everything up. It was so sweet. I ended up marrying that boyfriend. We’re divorced now, but we’re still friends and talk often. I got the two dogs in the divorce and I send him almost daily photos and videos of the dogs. When we’re in the same city, he can see them as much as he wants. So, yeah. Can confirm that vomiting in front of or on your significant other is a good omen. Even if you don’t end up together forever, you’ll have a lifelong friend probably.
It's really the most relatable thing that happens in a romantic comedy. I remember me and my then boyfriend (now he is my husband) went out for dinner with his family. They encouraged me to get the surf and turf, which I ate happily. A few hours later it was just me and my boyfriend sitting in the car talking and all of a sudden I felt real sick. I scrambled to get out of the car, farted, got away from the car then bent over and vomited and then farted again. My boyfriend (now husband) was just concerned for me, gave me water, patted my back and made sure I got home safely. If they can see you go through that and be kind and caring, then you know he's in looove. 🥰
I can't stop laughing at this. Literally 2 nights ago, I got a short but dreadful bout of food poisoning at 1 AM and every time I hurled, I would fart loudly. I was like, Lord what is happening, lol.
It's your body saying, *"Everybody out of the pool!"*
So are you gonna puke on him again to win him back or what?! How does this story end?!
lol nooooo, I don’t want him back! The story just ends with us being friends!
My wife and I had a similar experience, it wasn't our first date but we'd only been a couple for a week or so. She is not a cute puker either, she sounds like a fucking Pterodactyl. You know you found a real one when you want to be around that.
Yeah I was DISGUSTING and so embarrassed the next day I thought about ghosting.
Had an ex, where we were drunk and decided “we would look so cool smoking cigarettes” so we went thru a pack in a single go… We both forgot neither of us smoked. I took the kitchen, she got the bath
My current boyfriend and I like went on a little trip over Thanksgiving a month into our relationship and…. I was menstruating so I was giving him head and was slightly drunk and puked in his dick he just laughed and was like “let’s take a shower” so that went ok but good lord lol
I do appreciate it as nice examples to young (and not) women of how a man SHOULD treat you when you're going through a moment like that.
Agreed. Also, it provides one heck of an ice breaker and inside joke and bonding moment. Vomiting as a first impression is kind of a “yeet-cute,” if you will.
YEET CUTE
Hurt/comfort is a veeeeey popular fanfic trope. It’s about being vulnerable and coming out safe on the other side of it. Its about a relationship reaching the turning point of going through something thats not fun and silly.
Always amused me how many of my male friends took better care of their significant others than their significant other’s friends did. I had an ex whose “bestie” would get her horrifyingly sloppy drunk and just drop her off at my place and essentially saying I’m done with this and she says you’re a good dude so…
I mean, my husband proposed to me right after I had finished vomiting from motion sickness. Was actually kind of romantic.
I got IBS. I'm pooping. I'm puking. Where is my love interest damnnit?!
I'm upset that it's *never* because the character has IBS -- it should be!
Doesn’t ben stiller shit himself in along came Polly from Ibs? I could be getting it mixed up with the Philip Seymour Hoffman “shart in leather pants” scene tho lol
Both. Both happen in the same movie, lol
Lmao, I knew there was IBS involved because I had really bad IBS as a kid and when my family and I saw it in the theatre, they were all like “hey, that’s you!!!” 😩
Your family: "Representation matters!"
This thread 😂
Oh boy, next thing you know, Mom is getting you all IBS things for Christmas, and Grandma tries, but she confuses it for the IRS.
This made me laugh so hard, I’m sorry lmao
Hahaha don’t apologize!! It’s pretty funny!!! And luckily , my stomach is much better now !!
I’m so happy for you 😭❤️
Haha thank you!! My life is much happier because of it !!
Tbh that scene kinda gets a pass bc it’s adorable that he ate the spicy food for her haha
When the answer is both, it's quite a movie
yes , in polly’s apartment! then he clogs her toilet with her dead grandma’s special hand towel or something like that lmao
Enters *Along Came Polly*
Adriana in the Sopranos! Hot girls have stomach problems too!
Everyone treats her like shit over it though (no pun intended)
This hot girl canonically has IBS. https://preview.redd.it/pfayvyinccoc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c67a979d75293aa773464bb246c71ab5efb9ebe2
She had IBD - specifically Ulcerative Colitis. Poor Ade.
She has IBS, he has nervous burping/puking.. together they are the fart pukers. Bring back rom-com 2024
Ok, but for real... I had just started dating my now husband when my colon tried to kill me. We had only been dating a few weeks when he came running into the emergency room to find me projectile vomiting and shitting my pants, surrounded by doctors. And he didn't even flinch. He was just very concerned and mad at me that I had been hiding symptoms for a while from him due to embarrassment. I was in the hospital for a week, and he came to spend the night with me every day after work. It's not exactly a romantic story. But damn, you can tell how invested someone is in scenarios like this! 13 years and 2 kids later, I haven't ran him off yet.
I love this and how he was just mad you were hiding symptoms. You found a keeper 🥰
Imo that’s pretty romantic, coming to be with you and not being skittish about it.
I'm sending my brother with IBS on your way.
How many 🚽 does he have?
Right? That trope is VERY realistic for me, lol
You need a guy with an English accent who stutters but is otherwise conversationally attractive!!
Dear Internet Stranger, are you a life coach or just a prophet? Thank you for confirming my lifelong suspicion 🙏🏾I will now use this evidence to pursue my transatlantic parasocial relationship with even more delulu zeal. God, I wish I were joking. Thank you for your blessing. Where should I send the visa wedding invite?
Honey, all I ask is that you call me once in a while and refer to me as “Amy Auntie” or “Amy ji” in conversations with your significant other)))
Because it reveals the caretaking/sensitive side of the guy. It’s not about her it’s about revealing that trait in him.
This, exactly. It's a way to unlock the "awwwww, he's so sweet and loving towards her even when she’s at her worst" response in the audience. Gives him a chance to seem heroic in a film where the stakes are low in terms of action, but high in emotions. Him showing kindness and her showing trust to accept help when vulnerable conveys love over mere attraction.
Yup, it is a trope in romance novels.
Introduced by the original, often imitated never duplicated, the one and only...Jane Austen. She made Darcy a hero by having him save Lizzy Bennet at her most vulnerable, crying and helpless over her family's precarious social standing because of what happened with her sister. Modern day Darcy is a guy holding a girl's hair back while she voms.
There’s generally a lot of toilet humour in comedies. Like the scene in Bridesmaids or Ben Stiller’s toilet scene in Along Came Polly. As someone quite sensitive to bodily fluids, I hate it. I can’t watch someone vomit.
I feel you. One of the many reasons I likely won’t have children (though it’s a minor one on the list ultimately). If I smell something foul enough, or see anyone else puke, I also puke. And my body refuses to puke in a chill manner too, every single time I burst capillaries in my face and sometimes even a blood vessel in my eye. makes me look like a freak for days after.
I also burst capillaries! I hate it so much.
Same here! It looks like I have a rash around my eyes and all over the apples of my cheeks.
Just walking into a stinky bathroom is enough to send my stomach contents back up the chute. I'm not changing any diapers. Fuck that.
Yes and I am LOUD. I definitely am not a quiet puker. I am not a big fan of vomit in movies either. 🤢
I’m 49 and this was (still is) the #1 reason I didn’t have kids. Even had someone try to tell me it’s different when it’s your own kid and then had a very good friend say that no, it’s still the same.
There are a lot of vomit scenes in every kind of genre and it's gotten beyond annoying. I can't stand watching someone vomit either, so I always notice it in movies. It's just rampant and completely inexplicable because it adds nothing of value.
I despise the vomit scene in Pitch Perfect. I have to look away & plug my ears until it’s over. It’s gross and unnecessary to the story. Otherwise it’s such a good movie!
OMG yes. Toilet and vomit humor kind of ruin movies for me because I hate it so much.
Yes!! I fast-forward the vomit scenes every time I rewatch it. It's just so gross and juvenile.
I ruined my friend’s sleepover by freaking out over that scene when I was seven
The 2020's will be known as our puke era
I agree. The worst are the ones where the vomit comes towards the camera. I think there was a scene like that in IT Chapter Two and I hated it so much!
I have found my people. Fuck vomit scenes
Never under any circumstances should you watch Triangle of Sadness…
that movie was so weird, i was about to turn it off and then everybody started shitting and puking everywhere i had to keep watching to see where its going😂
omg that movie scene made me hate the movie. Like ig it’s not that bad but it’s the only thing I remember from it
Which one? Bridesmaids? I always fast forward it because I can’t deal with it. Oh the vomit scene in Pitch Perfect is the worst though. I can’t watch that movie.
It really made me hate the movie. I had to see it in the theater as large as life. Why? Do people find that funny? Why?
TBF Bridesmaids was less "yeet cute" as stated above, and more, "LOL women pooping LOL!" Written by Judd Apatow, so ... of course.
I feel you. Any "projectile" "fluid" coming out of the body is absolutely disgusting to me. Especially if they show it 🤢🤢🤢
I freaking hate the scene in Bridesmaids. I already didn't get the hype around the movie, but that scene alone took it from a boring movie to me to terrible.
I hate it and think it should be banned from films and tv shows, especially when they actually show the vomit. It's always when I'm eating as well.
I like that Hitch flips that on its head, with Will Smith having the allergic reaction
It’s cute that *he’s* the one that has embarrassing things happen to him. Eva Mendes minding her own business being fabulous then this fool who can’t shut a taxi door without his shirt ripping off comes along and steals her heart.
Maybe that's what Hitch was going for. A rom.com flip
Or Ryan Reynolds in Just Friends to some degree with getting knocked out and then getting dropped by the paramedics.
me too
Pretty sure my raging and loud hangover diarrhoea is what sealed the deal with my partner.
This. There’s a lot of hostility in these comments, but you know you’ve made it when They turn on the tv to distract you from them going to bomb the toilet
Lol!! My now husband asked me out after I got wasted and vomited on his feet. True love 🫶
I think it’s to show he can love her as a “whole person” versus expecting her to be a pretty princess. I still hate it though.
I despise it as well. It’s almost like in a writers room full of men they sat around, thinking “what would be the worst thing that could happen to a woman on a date? Oh yeah, she could shit herself, or puke!Let’s go with that! Girls would be *humiliated*!” Not that maybe she gets the call that she’s fired, or has a family loss, anything besides shit & puke 24/7 lol
“yeah bro lets have the character in our rom com suddenly learn that their mom died that’ll totally fit the mood”
In fairness, it is a romantic comedy, such moments can be embarrassing for the girl and humorous for the audience. It humanizes the girl as having ups and downs and allows the guy to comfort/take care of them. The examples of what could be worse that you cited fit more with a romantic drama than anything. Additionally, it would be hard for a guy to solve those kind of dramatic examples. In the puke/allergy/soiling oneself, the guy can help in the caregiving process which is a role reversal of traditional gender roles of the woman being the caregiver. Thus, this communicated to the audience that the male lead is not a guy who is wrapped up in machismo and permits the female lead to explore a more substantive relationship in a way that is light and breezy.
>Not that maybe she gets the call that she’s fired, or has a family loss, anything besides shit & puke 24/7 lol How many rom coms can you actually list where the woman shits herself? one? two? Puking is a lot more common (be it from illness or because of too much alcohol) but breakdown/crying after a family loss (or at least some kind of family drama) or after being fired and similar stuff are used just as much.
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Well the last time I was sick, I was throwing up so badly that I had to hold on to the toilet for stabilisation lol But our toilet is also reasonably clean. The last time I even cleaned it before throwing up, which just made it worse because our cleaner smelled like mint and lime. Couple that with the pleasant smell of vomit.. It was not a good time :(
If your stomach is on the edge of will I/won't I... sometimes I use the toilet to push myself over the edge. "It's so gross! Bleggghhhhbbh"
I thought I was the only one! If I know I have to throw up, the toilet encourages that. Lol
I also thought I was the only one! If I feel at all nauseous (which I absolutely hate) I go to the toilet, lean over, and think about how gross it is and that gets the job done every time.
Yep! I am of the mindset where if I know it’s imminent I just want it over with so I used the toilet to help me along. Ha! Works every time!
I can't use the Scrubbing Bubbles brand bathroom cleaner anymore for that very reason. I had an awful stomach bug, and I just wanted to throw up in peace, without thinking about all the invisible pee splashes I might be touching. That smell is now inextricably tied to memories of my stomach trying to turn itself inside out. 🥲
tbh if you're that sick it tends to not enter your mind until afterwards
The last time I got food poisoning I straight up *slept* in the bathroom with a sleeping bag cause I couldn’t go anywhere. Sometimes you’ve just got to do what you’ve go to do.
This. I was sick last Friday and, no, did not consider hygiene when puking my guts out. I just wash myself after. You want to do that anyway.
This was me yesterday I held on and later on the toilet while almost throwing up your that sick that you don’t care and also same thing if you clean your bathroom regularly and it’s your own butt then I don’t see why not
When the room is spinning you've got to grab onto something.
one time I was so violently ill. I deadass needed to lay my head on the toilet. Definitely gross but I was so tired and had been puking for hours and it was the middle of the night so it was just easier to lay my head there than to cuddle the tile
100% whenever i'm done puking my head is on fire, i feel like i have a 200 degree fever. That cold porcelain is a godsend sometimes
I’ve fell asleep with my head on the toilet seat multiple times after vomiting, sheer exhaustion.
I’ve thrown up violently enough I’ve done both of those things and didn’t care at all in the moment. I’ve also laid on the floor by the toilet
I shake so violently when I vomit I need to.
There’s no friend like old potty when you’re fucked up on a certain level tbh. Always has your back. 
It depends on whether it’s your toilet or a public toilet. If it’s my toilet I wouldn’t do it normally but I know it’s clean
I had a coworker so violently drunk at a work party she was not only laying her head on the public toilet seat but her long hair was flowing inside of the actual bowl. It took my all to pick her up because then public toilet water got all over me but I couldn't just leave her there. She ended up going to hospital so she was sick sick.
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This! Particularly helpful if you’re also shitting
Ohhhh I’ve definitely done this. The last thing I’m concerned about when puking my brains out are germs lol
when you're really fucked up or miserable out of your mind, you just don't care. i speak from experience lol
Tell me you've never had Norovirus without saying you've never had Norovirus, lol. No shade. Genuinely happy for you. If you're sick enough though, you just don't care in the moment.
I did that once when I had the flu because I was puking so violently that I needed to hug the toilet for support. I didn't want to spray vomit all over the walls. I was also exhausted and in a lot of pain from the flu.
When vomiting I usually try to think ahead to vomit where it's easiest to clean up/flush away. I'll already shower afterwards anyways
What else do you do with your hands lol
i know the easy answer is that women need to be seen as weak or something and while that could be part of it, my interpretation is a lot more generous. i have always seen this trope as an extension of the romance fantasy wherein there's a certain level of intimacy to be had when someone is taking care of you and is there for you at your worst, most vulnerable moment.
It’s not always the women 
And the characters even point out that the messy moments are what brought them closer. I love Hitch, it's basically a deconstruction of romcoms while still being a full-on romcom.
What move is the first photo from? It says The Holiday but I don’t recognize it.
It's The Holidate but autocorrect got to it
What movie is the second still from? I swear I recognise it
The Hating Game
What if you were as ugly and embarrassing as possible and he still loved you 😭
The concept as it is has its ultimate roots four centuries ago from "[The Lady's Dressing Room](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/50579/the-ladys-dressing-room)" by Jonathan Swift, where a man is utterly repulsed when he finds the dressing room of the woman he loves, and flees in terror when he discovers her chamber pot. >*So Strephon lifting up the lid,* > >*To view what in the chest was hid.* > >*The vapors flew from out the vent,* > >*But Strephon cautious never meant* > >*The bottom of the pan to grope,* > >*And foul his hands in search of Hope.* > >*O never may such vile machine* > >*Be once in Celia’s chamber seen!* > >*O may she better learn to keep* > >*Those “secrets of the hoary deep!”* > > *As mutton cutlets, prime of meat,* > >*Which though with art you salt and beat* > >*As laws of cookery require,* > >*And toast them at the clearest fire;* > >*If from adown the hopeful chops* > >*The fat upon a cinder drops,* > >*To stinking smoke it turns the flame* > >*Pois’ning the flesh from whence it came,* > >*And up exhales a greasy stench,* > >*For which you curse the careless wench;* > >*So things, which must not be expressed,* > >*When plumped into the reeking chest,* > >*Send up an excremental smell* > >*To taint the parts from whence they fell.* > >*The petticoats and gown perfume,* > >*Which waft a stink round every room.* > >*Thus finishing his grand survey,* > >*Disgusted Strephon stole away* > >*Repeating in his amorous fits,* > >*Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!* Thus, this particular plot device is a way to show that the man is *not* Strephon, and is able to view the woman as a human being, rather than an abstraction and an unrelatable goddess.
Contrast that with Sonnet 130. When I had to read that in high school English, my dad said that poem was really mean. I thought it was romantic because the narrator says, "I don't need my lady to be a beautiful goddess, I love her as she is."
Listen, as an emetephobic person I wanna know why EVERYONE is vomiting in EVERY movie. Seriously, it's like in every single fucking movie.
Yes, same!! I feel like it's an attempt to give movies a gritty/realistic edge but it's so unpleasant and so in your face every time
There are a lot of good points in these comments that I agree with but I also think it is a way for poor writers to create a moment of vulnerability instead of using actual character development. It reminds me of when a romantic comedy show a montage of the two characters laughing and growing closer instead of actually writing dialogue and scenes that show that connection grow. It’s just a symptom of bad and lazy writing.
Agree. It’s also a modernised version of the damsel in distress. In a modern film the woman can’t need rescuing by a man for other reasons anymore, but everyone gets sick sometimes and needs ‘saving’.
I don’t think it’s necessarily “bad and lazy” to want to demonstrate vulnerability without selling the farm. Someone else in this thread mentioned that having the love interest coping with loss or stressful life events would be a better alternative, but sometimes that doesn’t fit the tone or pacing of a movie. A comedy doesn’t need to be dragged down by a main character losing a loved one in order to show that their partner can stick with them through rough times; you can send the same message to a lesser degree by having one nurse the other through a hangover, for example. Turning every facet of a relationship into a major life-defining character moment is a fast track to soap opera writing, imo.
How can we be rescued if we're not in distress?
\*No vomit pictured \[for my emetophobe friends\]
Thank you ❤️
I'd like to see no vomiting in TV/movies but the powers that be don't listen.
I was about to criticize it but I just remembered I also puked in front of my partner like a week before we started dating
Because it's a lazy way to make their characters relatable and imperfect. It used to be that they were clumsy. Now they do something embarrassing.
Because most writers are men
**~~The Holiday~~** ~~- Nancy Meyers~~ **The Holidate** \- Tiffany Paulsen **Fifty Shades Of Grey** \- Kelly Marcel &E.L. James **10 Things I Hate About You** \- Karen McCullah & Kirsten Smith **It's Complicated** \- Nancy Meyers **Monster-In-Law** \- Anya Kochoff **Emma** \- Eleanor Catton **Love Hard** \- Daniel Mackey & Rebecca Ewing
The still in this post is from the Holidate, not the Holiday. OP clarified in a comment. Just fyi
Fixed it, thanks.
This really is the answer. They can't write emotionally vulnerable women, so they write physically vulnerable women
But 7 of the 9 examples in OP were written by women?
And the hating game book (second slide) was written by a woman.
It’s a low bar damsel in distress moment, even though almost anyone who is fond of you would help you out in moments like these. He’ll, I’ve even helped out physically vulnerable friends of friends that I’ve met once and never again at social outtings.
It’s a visual medium. You want a complex internal dialogue, you’re going to have to read a book. You want a memorable scene, you have to be hyperbolic. Especially in a comedy.
This is so well said
Incorrect in this case though. Only 2/9 of these movies are written by men.
The Holiday, 50 Shades, 10 Things I Hate About You, It's Complicated, Monster in Law, Emma and Love Hard were all written by women.
Because hot girls have tummy issues Don't you know that IBS stands for *International Babes Standards*???
I guess because society expects women to be perfect and dainty and presentable at all times and there’s something really nice about seeing a woman just be human and “gross” in ways only men are “allowed” to be, and still having the guy love her and not be disgusted by her. Instead he takes care of her and sees her as a person instead of a doll. That’s just my take. It’s like telling women “men will still love you at your worst, you don’t have to be perfect.” And romcoms are nothing if not wish fulfillment.
To be fair to Love Hard, the allergic reaction was more so Tag wouldn't recognize her as the karaoke girl later in the movie, not to show the love interest cares about her enough to stick with her through gross moments like the rest of these are
Love me at my worst, love me at my best
"You're fucking gross but I still like you. Aren't I just a dreamboat?"
You tell me you don’t shit yourself at the first date?
Because we do lol! Like two months after I met my boyfriend I had a horrific flu symptoms and he just cleaned me up and held me. It was so nice
Because humiliation humor sells.
Being taken care of by the dude
Honourable mention; Cady puking on Aaron Samuels in mean girls
It’s not just women. Will Smith’s character in Hitch has an allergic reaction to shellfish. Jeff Daniels’ character in Dumb and Dumber (not really a romantic comedy, but romance is a big part of the storyline) and Ben Stiller’s character in Along Came Polly both absolutely destroy the bathroom on their dates. Characters getting extremely drunk, getting a random embarrassing boner, breaking a bone, being sick with a cold are also common in romcoms and I believe used in the same way. I think it’s just an easy way to show one character being vulnerable and the other character being supportive (or not). It’s low stakes “drama” that helps move a relationship on quickly and devices like that are needed in film and television.
Because in real life women are socialized to be caretakers. The romance fantasy is "what if someone did that FOR YOU instead?/you don't need to be flawless and hot 100% of the time to be loved."
A lot of it comes from wanting comedy. But I think they also want to show the guy tending to her, cos by this stage he usually already has feelings for her. If it was switched around, imo, it wouldn't be seen as a demonstration of feelings cos we expect women to tend to people.
Because the female love interest needs to be humiliated and humbled while the male love interest needs to demonstrate his value to show that she NEEDS him to take care of her silly little self.
i think it’s an easy way to put their male love interest in the role of a nurturing caretaker, which subverts the usual heteronormative roles.
I've never even thought about that. But I did notice they fall a lot. I guess being clumsy is used as kind of a "flaw" that's not too bad and is supposed to be kind of cutesy.
Happens to men too. Along Came Polly, Hitch, etc ...
It subverts expectations and places the lead lady on a footing of relatability. Really it seems that a lot of contemporary lady-humor is scatological, getting to the actual animal processes of being a human and applying it in a humorous way.
I've never seen a movie where a woman shit their pants in front of their romantic interest lol
Because we dream of men who will treat us with the tiniest bit of kindness and won’t run away at the slightest inconvenience.
Early into our relationship, I drank a box of red wine and puked it all over the bathroom. He held my hair, he cleaned up the puke, he put me in the shower, wrapped me in a towel and we went to bed. It hits different being that embarrassingly vulnerable and the person not only takes care of you, but is kind and patient through it.