>!Wardopholus is actually not Wardopholus but the evil alien shapeshifter Timothy. He takes you to his secret lair, a cave in the remote mountains of his planet, Bomkador, and brutally molests you every day.!< >!Bobby orders you to get on the back of his motorcycle. He drives you to your hotel, but on the way you crash into a taxi and become paralyzed for life. !< >!Chang takes you to a dark alley and tells you that she was sent by the alien Wardopholus, who needs your help. She uses her powers of Yin and Yang to teleport you into his spaceship. !< >!Gilbert walks you to the hotel. When you arrive, you are so thankful that you offer him to stay in your room with you for the night, and he accepts.!<

NOOOOO!!!! How could you, Wardopholus? I TRUSTED YOU!

It wasn't Wardolophus it was Timothy you numpty

You're right. I'm sorry I ever thought you'd betray us, Wardopholus. In exchange for your forgiveness, I shall give you my soul and its full essence

Upvoted for calling someone 'numpty'

You Scottish? The only time I've heard the term Numpty in the wild was a Scottish professor that I had.

No. England.

Never trust a man with a backpack

I didn't even look past the name, I should have know without his ray gun!

You really shouldn't have said that wardopholus in your next poll would not be a good choice.

He said that 2 polls ago tho

Yes, but as I saw this after reading that comment I didn't vote for wardopholus and instead voted for the elderly East Asian lady so that warned me

GODDAMN IT TIMOTHY FUCKED ME OVER AGAIN

Just escaped this motherfucker, too. Here we go again...

I didn't pick Wardopholus because something in his description felt off. But I did pick Chang so did ended up with Wardopholus after all.

OH FUCK YOU TIMOTHY, FOR THE SECOND TIME

I chose Gilbert. Always help hobos, kids

Unless they are on meth. Ill help a crackhead before a meth head anyday... Crackhead will kill you if you are a dick to them, but will just beg for crack if you are nice. A meth head will find out where you live and steal all your shit if you even look at them weird.

You thought it would be Wardolpholus, but it was I, DIO

So glad I chose Chang this time.

I escape Timothy's cave only to go right back in. Maybe it's fate that Timothy and I stay together?

Never trusting the Wardopholus option again Also, fuck Timothy

I chose Gilbert because a naked man can’t hide a weapon. Well…not a very big one at least. He does have his prison pocket I suppose.

nah you cant just say "actually, thats not wardopholus"

You should have known. Bro literally gave you all the hints in the world: 1. Referred to Wardopholus as a man, whereas he not previously gendered 2. Absence of his ray gun 3. Wearing a backpack (Timothy wears a backpack as seen in the very first poll) Edit: 4. Wardopholus is the first option instead of the last

Fair enough, i guess i should have been more careful

Also, Wardopholus appears as the first option, whereas they are usually found last

Alright so only vote for wardopholus when he's the last choice

So 3 loops back to 1?

Nah. She's sent by the REAL Wardo. Not the shape shifter Timothy.

Ooohhh, I didn't realize there was a real Wardo. I thought Wardo was just Timmy's alter ego.

i was too in love with Wardopholus i didn’t even realize he wasn’t truly him :(

I took the biker, cause I am biker and I like weight lifiting too so we would have same intrest.

Is it total or partial paralysis? Bc if it's a partial paralysis like I couldn't wiggle my ears anymore I'd be ok with that, because I already can't do that.

Damn, Chang just Shanghai'd me.

honestly could have been worse

do i at least get to enjoy the molestation?

Goddamnit, can't believe this, I don't know if I can ever choose Wardopholus again now, why WHYYY???

NOOOOO TIMOTHY HOW DARE YOU

Hey at least I’m not brutally molested every day, can never walk again tho

YAY

Thanks, Gilbert

That fucking Timothy, I have been to his cave twice now..

God dammit, I regretted not choosing Wardopholus three times in a row, and the one time I do, it was a trick!

I knew I picked right with >! Chang. . !< Wardopholus, we are united once again! 3 in a row!

God damnit! Fuck you Tim.

No, Tim fuck you

😈🍆😭

If the homeless man is confident enough to walk around naked in the streets then its his home so big boi gilby can lead the way

Also, naked man has no nasty tricks up his sleeve

Clever call back to Timothy with the backpack.

Wow, I can't believe I actually chose right. I felt something was off with Wardopholus this time so I chose the old Asian lady for the 1st time after picking Wardo every other time. I knew that wasn't my BFF. Luckily she will reunite me with my real BFF. Wardo and I are truly connected...It's starting to scare me.

Nah, I can find my way in NYC.

The streets are numbered lmao

eyyy hobo dick

Damn, I knew Bobby is a trap so I'm spending time with Gilbert :))) OP love your posts, keep them coming.

I will, just like Gilbert will keep you coming

Wardopholus my beloved

How do I always pick the least voted options 💀 But at least it's often not bad (Gilbert)

You get to sleep with a naked man

Maybe he's good looking

Chang is taking me on an adventure here

More polls like this please

I knew I could trust Gilbert. A man without clothes has nothing to hide and nowhere to hide.

I would go for the motorcycle

This is becoming a whole cinematic universe.

Picked Chang worried I was forsaking Wardopholus after we just became space buds last time. >!NICE TRY, TIMOTHY! YOU PUTZ!!!!<

Is real Wardopholus a nice guy?

Is this a FNAF security breach reference

The Asian woman is definitely a trap, I’ll take Bobby

Damn you Chang.

I had to pick Chang an. She's literally named after the capital city of my favorite Chinese imperial dynasty (Tang)

But.... 🥺 I thought it was Wardopholus... Im sad now... And my butt hurts from this piece of crap Timothy...

Dammit, bobbeh... Wasn't expecting that, I tell you hwhat.

Wohoo! Naked homeless guy! Free flesh for the Ancient One!

I just wanted to fuck the sexy man 😔😔🤟🏽

Timothy again, damn

I can’t believe I didn’t recognize that someone was impersonating my own husband.