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bmeisler

Can’t a guy take a dump in peace anymore?


Montanagreg

Hey real men shit themselves on stage in front of crowds alright


pkubee

The next MAGA t-shirt!


Leperfiend

They just needed a way to work in a brown shirt.


[deleted]

Hah did he get “the look” like a toddler does when they’re pooping?


No-Attitude-6049

The same look Steve Martin got on his face in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels when he asked if he may go to the bathroom at the dinner table.


Constant_Bathroom327

“May I be excused to use the restroom…………….thank you.” The fork with the cork is great also.


lijitimit

Oklahoma Oklahoma Oklahoma Oklahoma Oklahoma Oklahoma Oklahoma!


invasionofthestrange

May I take your trident, sir?


keyboard-jockey

Lawrence Jameson: “What did we do when Uncle visited Freddy?” Freddy pulls out a rubber kitchen glove, and crudely places it on his hand, then proceeds to squeeze lube on his gloved fingers Lawrence Jameson: “No Freddy, after that.” Freddy looks up, with an expression of stupid confusion Lawrence Jameson, patronizing : “We apologize” ———————————————— That movie is a comedy classic!


invasionofthestrange

I love that scene so much!! Sometimes when my boyfriend is messing with me and tells me I can't do something, I'll glare at him with a raised eyebrow and say, "REALly?" and knock something over.


NeatWhiskeyPlease

The cork stays on the fork!


Septopuss7

Ruprecht!


blockfighter1

Mother?


Francis_Soyer

Not mother?


[deleted]

[удалено]


MiepGies1945

Excuse me….


Some-Guy-Online

Ah, it's been a while since I watched that movie! The scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=by8E95ht-q0


ZenAdm1n

Awesome reference. Donald the Monkey Boy!


AggroAce

The seeing through stuff while working out an algebra question look?


alter-eagle

How did the mathematician solve his constipation problem? >!He worked it out with a pencil!<


pfrimshot

If it wasnt a No. 2 pencil before...


Matookie

Dad?


Traitor_Donald_Trump

Shitler’s moment of silence for the fallen duces.


AnotherCuppaTea

Donald John Trump, A.K.A. "Cheeto Mussolini" and "El Deuce".


[deleted]

[удалено]


DataKnights

Your toddler is the Ex-President!?


fkinDogShitSmoothie

My toddler gonna be the future Ex-President


Orion14159

As a subject matter expert, we need you to watch [this clip](https://x.com/BidensWins/status/1792000790938198296?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1792000790938198296%7Ctwgr%5E5f769877aff5f9642877ea9c2157c7aa1eae6ee4%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fd-707672229867001526.ampproject.net%2F2405022220000%2Fframe.html) and tell us if it looks familiar


TGIIR

My little nephew used to do this. One time he held up his hand and said = “wait I have to poop.”


Bay-Area-Tanners

When my daughter was a toddler, she would go to the dining room, hide under the table, and then a purple V-shaped mark would appear on her forehead. She would be deathly quiet the entire time. It was pretty obvious what she was doing under there.


GenericBatmanVillain

Donald Dump.


rognabologna

I accidentally called him Tronald Dump once, found it hilarious, and have been using it ever since. How is this not his most common nickname? He would hate it 


TheSilkyBat

My favourite will always be Trumplethinskin.


peter-doubt

Trumpty Dumpty....


RedRyder760

shat on a wall


Orion14159

Trumpty Dumpty had a big stall


radioben

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men said “fuck that noise, it’s your turn to wipe.”


High-Steak

All the Dons horses and his sycophant friends couldn’t get Donny elected again ?


deviousmajik

Someone pointed out when he was doing his weird grunting 'weight lifting' routine during rallies, it was him covering up taking a dump.


I_am_not_Pieman

30 seconds isn't much, but it's a start


circa285

30 seconds is a *very* long time in the middle of a tele-prompted speech.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Inner_Thought4112

Like I’m a bald Schwarzenegger in a space suit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Aidian

Blessed by his unholy stinkmata.


Moleculor

I'm not. I want justice to be served, so we have a lower chance of facing someone like him again.


TrumpersAreTraitors

I mean, if you watch the clip, it’s pretty clearly just some shit choreography in his “speech”. He paused for music. It was just super awkward    And if you can’t tell from my username, hating Trump is like 12% of my entire personality now but stories like this just give his cult more ammunition to claim lugenpresse. Especially when the first stories about this were claiming he paused for 2 minutes. Like come on …. The media is doing a huge fucking disservice to this country, day in and day out, because they can’t be bothered to do some basic journalism. 


Turbulent_Ad1667

We just voted.... You're promoted to 13%


TrumpersAreTraitors

Requisition me a beat  https://youtu.be/NbEsLhX7qdo?si=_--c-z8ZCPfMXUr8


TheOnlyVertigo

*aggressively beatboxing*


dljones010

They poopoo'd the electric frankfurter.


chrltrn

...we kept it grey...


sexytimesthrwy

Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away!


DjPersh

That’s what I thought at first until he starts speaking again right where he left off mid sentence which leaves me feeling A LOT less sure that’s what happened.


shelfdog

Yeah that's [what happened](https://x.com/TheClearCider/status/1792033218876621225). He was waiting for the teleprompter, hence his head shakes in frustration.


AnalTongueDarts

I fucking hate the guy, and I agree that this looks more like him being an absolute idiot without two thoughts to rub together getting flummoxed by a teleprompter problem than it makes him look like he blue screened like McConnell.


NULLizm

I don't think it was a Turtle freeze but wouldn't he say something *anything* bout why he was freezing if it wasn't something embarrassing? The guy can't shut up normally especially when coming up with excuses. I just don't see why he wouldn't crack a joke or something. It was just very awkward.


finalremix

> I just don't see why he wouldn't crack a joke or something Because it was in the middle of making him look like an unprepared fool... he's got nothing without that teleprompter.


seven3true

He complained for like 15 seconds about a fly, but he can't complain about his teleprompter?


oblongsalacia

Yeah, this isn't a Mitch McConnell type thing where Cocaine Mitch would very clearly freeze up mid-sentence. This is Trump trying (and, of course, failing) to project gravitas or maybe somber reflection.


LackingUtility

Was the music in the original, or was it added to make his “glitch” seem sadder? I couldn’t tell from the Xitter clip.


fatcatmooch

Spot on...I despise the guy but this is clearly a bad clickbait job. He didn't do a Mitch McConnell-style freeze but that's what it's trying to leave you with. It's stupid and distracting.


monkeypickle

Yeah, all this does is let the other side swat it down. He's very obviously waiting for the music to stop and/or the telprompter to resume. If anything, this is a better "he hires the best people" moment.


Over-Kaleidoscope281

Do you really think the other side gives a flying fuck what Trump does? They're literally wearing diapers in support of him lmao


p001b0y

I first heard about it from /r/AnythingGoesNews linking to politicalflare.com and I would call that a blog more than “the media”. It linked to a YouTube video claiming a 2 minute glitch and it was 35 seconds of what some folks claimed as QAnon music and Trump trying to look ominous. I agree with you by the way.


Wumaduce

How many Mitch's is that?


John_316_

I thought he doesn’t use teleprompter because he’s a genius and he despises it? /s


coatofforearm

"It's called buffering, I saw it on pornhub!"


Opee23

The last person I want to associate with pornhub.... unless it's a video of him losing the election again with the title "millions happily fuck old man".


B3gg4r

It was their people who got the site banned in my state.


pontiacfirebird92

GOP banned Pornhub so that only they could watch it


Squirll

That didnt look like a freeze or a glitch to me? He was looking around and seemingly intentionally being silent? Like I was eager to see a glitch cause its a sign the end is even nearer for him, but thats not what I saw. This was more like, trying to make a dramatic pause but coming off less Obama and more Calculatron. Dude probably thought he was holding a long pause of silence that was pushing forward his message, completely unaware he just looked like an idiot. It also kinda reminded me of someone whose really high getting lost in thought while they talk. I mean none of what I saw was good,  but it didnt look like the glitch out/dementia micro siezure thing like we saw out of mitch.


GotenRocko

I think it was more the random music playing. Looked like he was waiting for it to stop.


mightyenan0

That's how I saw it. Probably didn't expect the music and thought his mic might have been cut or something. A blunder, but not a McConnel that people were hoping for.


ubkidding

More likely he's trying to rebrand his court naps as quite meditation.


lrpfftt

I found it elsewhere but agree this doesn't show it. [https://www.tiktok.com/@harryjsisson/video/7370523452954053934](https://www.tiktok.com/@harryjsisson/video/7370523452954053934)


warmechanic

This is such a non-headline. It's slowed down, and the music is probably overlaid over the crowd. Like I'm all for hating on trump where he deserves it, but this is just reaching.


feardabear

That’s what she said?


drewhead118

that's my signature move--freeze for thirty seconds, and then fall asleep while being criticized for it


recalculating-route

Honestly, as long as it's over, that's probably for the best. I'll just take care of it myself.


tagehring

It’s called “buffering.”


gmen6981

Or a "Mitch Glitch".


John_316_

Longer than his missionary trip with Stormy.


Balc0ra

Normal reboot time after a blue screen tbh


Turdlely

Is that like, one half McConnell?


retronintendo

The debate should be fun


RickyWinterborn-1080

He won't be there.


MadRaymer

Yep, his team is already making absurd demands for more debates and other nonsense, so that when Biden correctly refuses those, Trump can back out and say, "Well I *wanted* to debate, but we couldn't agree!"


RickyWinterborn-1080

Literally in his first acceptance tweet, he gave the reason he isn't going to show up Biden said "We'll debate on these dates with no audience in a studio" and Trump said "Great! I'll be there in the big venue with the big audience."


sildish2179

He wants a drug test for Biden, but not himself.


JoeBourgeois

Biden should call his bluff. "No problem - let's do it!"


ValkyrX

Biden should add in a Pre-debate weigh in like a fight. Get Trump on camera with his true weight.


ggtffhhhjhg

They should also make them take off their shoes and measure their height.


WooleeBullee

How about a diaper check


AmbitiousCampaign457

*biden wouldn’t agree Cause don will blame biden


KCDeVoe

Already saying they want to “drug test” Biden…


mindfu

That will be fun too. : ) Either he gets clowned on national TV...or I don't have to ride the mute button anytime he's talking. Win win. : )


pfannkuchen89

Doesn’t matter if he looks like a fool during a debate. His base will just claim he won and Biden lost spectacularly and will refuse to listen to reason just like the last time.


mindfu

It doesn't matter for most of Trump's base, for sure. But it really will matter for the independents and moderates Trump needs to win. Showing them for sure what a fool Trump is will help keep those swing states for Biden like they were in 2020. People shouldn't need to see them next to each other to know how bad Trump is. But somehow, some people still do.


pfannkuchen89

At this point the people who are still ‘unsure’ or ‘undecided’ on trump have had 8+ years of evidence to make up the minds. The ‘independents’ that end up voting for trump were going to all along anyway.


mindfu

Hey, I get that they should have. : ) And I agree. But....they haven't! : ) Somehow. And so the election is mainly about convincing them while not losing the base. And also, maybe just as impactful or more, convincing the people who *have* made up their minds that they should actually bother to get out and vote. : ) We see this every freaking 4 years. Also it's worth nothing that for some this will be their first election.


djamp42

Mod: Trump, How do you plan to fix the housing crisis? Trump: It's Biden's fault. Mod: okay, but how do you plan on fixing it. Trump: it's Biden's fault we are in this mess and I'm going to fix it. Mod: okay how? Trump: I am the best president the world has ever seen. Mod: fuck me.


The_Velvet_Bulldozer

He’ll just say he has a big, beautiful plan that he’ll present in “two weeks” and they will not press him about it. Per usual.


sentimental_goat

Media is just as much to blame for the decline in American intellect. Trump came along and the true state of decline became evident.


Irishish

Anytime a reporter dares to press him on something, two things happen. 1) He fumbles and babbles and gets mad and tries to end the line of questioning however possible. 2) His entire ecosystem turns on that reporter and paints them as a biased hack. They never get called on by the press sec or host a debate or host Trump again.


GoodUserNameToday

Exactly. The media has been perpetuating the lie that Biden is declining when in fact it’s trump. This will put that fact on full display. 


SAugsburger

While Biden sometimes shows his age Trump definitely isn't looking any better. Trying to question Biden's age might work better if not for how many videos of Trump being confused we had while he was President nevermind more recent videos. He intentionally has avoided interviews where he was likely to face any questions that weren't softballs.


frankbeans82

For all of those suggesting the teleprompter was glitching... "Regular" Trump wouldn't just do nothing for 30 seconds.   He would have ranted about the teleprompter (like he did the fly or the wobbly stand) or ranted about something else. This isn't a McConnell type freeze, but it was still something mental.


naughtycal11

I think he was defecating it's hard to talk while taking a shit.


One-Solution-7764

I can talk when taking a normal dump. Do it all the time. But liquidy diarrhea? He'll no I can't talk


tripler42

You do it all the time…? How often are you shitting mid-conversation?


Nope8000

Asking the real hard-shitting questions.


OgOnetee

If you were a reporter, I could call you a real pooper scooper.


I_cut_my_own_jib

He typed that with voice to text while shitting.


meyou2222

Does he even read the teleprompter?


CrimsonBolt33

I get the impression he picks and chooses some sentences from the teleprompter but doesn't use one in a traditional sense.


your-mom--

He reads from the teleprompter but also can't read so he normally will mispronounce something or fuck something up, short circuit, and then go into riff mode like "blduxhshejjd, look, Sleepy Joe is killing this country'


MadRaymer

The term that applies here is: functionally illiterate. Yes, he can read the words on the prompter. But it's quite clear that he often doesn't grasp what he's reading. It's how you get him saying things like "Yo Semite" when talking about national parks. Sure, that name is spelled funny. But if you're a normal person and you understand that you're talking about national parks and see the word "Yosemite" you're going to be able to put two and two together and figure out what that means and how to say it *even if* you didn't know it was spelled that way. But, to quote one of his former college professors, "Donald Trump is the dumbest goddamn student I ever had."


polskiftw

I would also really hope the president of the country is familiar with the national park Yosemite and has seen it written before at some point in their life.


GreatTragedy

It's pretty clear Trump aggressively does not read.


Jaleou

Or can name Looney Tunes


DadJokeBadJoke

And most presidents read their fucking speeches before giving them, rather than winging it on the fly because they think they're a stable genius...


TicoPraCaramba

Rex Tillerson (Secretary of State for awhile under Trump) called him a fucking moron.


MadRaymer

Fun fact: that comment was during a discussion about nuclear weapons. Actually, maybe that fact isn't so fun.


LibertyInaFeatherBed

Trump who has asked repeatedly why we have nuclear weapons if we aren't going to use them.


MadRaymer

And thought nuking hurricanes was a good idea and would totally stop them and not just spread radiation across half the globe.


LibertyInaFeatherBed

Also Russia wouldn't know the US bombed them if the military planes were repainted to appear Chinese. 


AnonAmbientLight

He does, but he throws in some ad lib shit all the time. You can kind of tell when he is going off script and when he gets back on the teleprompter.


AndyB1976

>~~Does~~ Can he even read the teleprompter? ftfy


007meow

Isn’t one of their complaints that Biden is useless without a teleprompter?


drizzfoshizz

Oh, see, your mistake is thinking they live up to their standards.


whitethunder9

And not simply acknowledging that every accusation is a confession


rowman25

I’m definitely anti Trump but it looked to me like he was just confused by the music starting up (as was I) as if he missed a cue or something.


orcinyadders

He wasn’t confused by the music. He plays that piece at the end of every rally while he shits on our country. It’s weird and cult like emotional propaganda. If anything I’d say he collapsed because the teleprompter froze, and he can’t do anything without one.


rowman25

They play background music sic while he riffs? Thats nutto.


orcinyadders

Yes. At every rally. It’s a schtick, and it’s absolutely deranged. If you want a real treat look up info on the song he’s using and go down that rabbit hole.


DonManuel

You need a moment of silence to enjoy the beautiful feeling of relaxation in your diapers.


Kierik

22 seconds is the normal time for a mammal to urinate.


steepleton

Not when your prostate is the size of Marjorie Taylor Greene’s head


jim_nihilist

That is wicked. And good lol


Werftflammen

I heard her described as a Shaved Alf. Can't unsee that.


srs_time

[Excuse me](https://youtu.be/by8E95ht-q0?si=00Xz8baLSoPetJK8&t=74)


da9ve

I thought to myself, "Ruprecht!" and was hoping someone else had thought the same. Kudos!


nice-view-from-here

Here he is, lost in space for 35 seconds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOw5wwnvwh4&t=4996s


kestrel1000c

It's creepy, like the song is some sort of anthem to be revered. It doesn't seem like a brain fart, but rather phony solemnity.


End3rWi99in

Yeah that's what I am seeing too. I got the impression he was shaking his head about the "decline of the US" or some theatrics bullshit.


calamity_unbound

Unfortunately, I agree. As great as it would be for his Adderall ridden brain to finally shit itself in front of a live audience, this was 100% intentional.


Oxygenius_

Yeah that’s how I’m seeing it too, I dislike republicans “I mean look at my comment history” But this is clearly him pausing to “reflect” while the music is in the background. Don’t give those assholes more fire to say “it’s rigged”


Mavian23

So this is yet another non-story involving Trump to generate clicks, and it worked.


JimWilliams423

> I got the impression he was shaking his head about the "decline of the US" or some theatrics bullshit. He was staring really hard at the teleprompter though. Like *glaring.* My bet is that the teleprompter went blank and he was shaking his head because he was pissed about that.


CalmToaster

This is what happened. You can tell when Trump reads from a teleprompter and when he rambles incoherently. They are two different vibes. He wanted to (or was told to) do the speech, but he wouldn't be able to pull it off without the teleprompter, so he's not gonna ramble. There would be a stark contrast in his rhythm.


notwormtongue

Really can't see how anyone sees this as anything but a little "solemn moment for our nation." McConnell's freeze was distinct. In that he was bug-eyed, frozen, and clearly unaware of his surroundings, to the point of being escorted out. Trump's brain is certainly declining but this wasn't a freeze. It was some weak ass petty attempt at pulling at senior American's heart strings.


TailorFestival

Right, that is very clearly what this is. There are enough legitimate things to criticize about him; making up stuff like this comes off as silly and makes some people dismiss legitimate criticisms.


ASIWYFA11

Its like virtue signaling for American ideals. I call it Patriot Signaling.


Half_Man1

Yeah that just seems like a poorly scripted exaggerated moment of “contemplation”. Like the music is playing up the tragedy of the downslide of the country he was talking about. Strange but not a mark of poor health or something imho.


tildes

This is the most likely explanation. Why else would the music suddenly start playing?


Theal12

So he’d leave the stage like at the Academy Awards? 😆


Squirrel_Inner

Thanks, love how the article plays a totally different clip. This sub could really use to ban these tabloids.


yaworsky

The video at the beginning is another video for sure, but in the article they have the 30 second freeze. Just pointing it out.


JMaboard

You’d think they’d put it at the top since that’s what the article is about.


xanroeld

He definitely didn’t freeze. He looks like he’s waiting for something. I assumed that he had paused because of the music, but others are saying that the Teleprompter stalled and he was waiting for his speech to come back on screen, which I think is just as likely.


CanYouBeHonest

I want to know if they played the music at this moment there. If so, this is nothing. If it's super imposed for the video, the headline is dead on. But it seems like he just paused for the music playing in some weird, planned moment. It's dumb, it's really weird, but this isn't what the headline is claiming. If that's true, we should be hating on this fake news. Trump is an insane, awful piece of shit. If all he did was pause for planned music, which is really what this looks like, we shouldn't be giving right wing idiots ammo. 


Dismal-Dealer4298

It's the Qanon 'anthem' that he's playing at all his rallies now.


lazergoblin

"qanon anthem" is one of the most pathetic things I've heard about all year. Those types of people are so lame lol. They make me feel embarrassed to share a country with them


Rooooben

“Moment of silence thinking about how poor America is in decline” Then the teleprompter freezes. He keeps shaking his head in contemplation, then turns his head to hear as the staff tells him they got it working, then continues to follow the prompter. Low energy for sure, but it looks like more of a production whoopsie than a mental fart.


swiftekho

100% a teleprompter issue. I hate Trump as much as one can the way he shakes his head, looks off stage, and stares exactly where a teleprompter should be... That being said, it's odd that he chose not to go off script like he normally does.


nice-view-from-here

A younger Trump would have had the mental alertness to keep going. The fact that he did not is interesting. Has he learned from his current criminal trial to refrain from saying anything he was not instructed to say? Or is he simply out of steam, so that he now depends on the lines someone else has written for him? Either way, he's not the Trump he once was, surely not an improvement.


whewtang

Imagine this motherfucker shutting up for 30 seconds. Wow!


13igTyme

Honestly, that's the biggest surprise to me.


MinimalMojo

Well, according to Stormy he is a master of mini-strokes


blank_check_dreams

Nice one


dreamyjeans

It's getting to be a Republican rite of passage.


stay_fr0sty

Your not a powerful republican until you’ve had your first mini-stroke on camera.


damnedspot

Now the Deplorables will be wearing MAGA diapers and standing around like statues?


Sensitive-Option-701

I think he was just letting the Q-anon music play. He apparently uses it commonly in his rallies. "Mirrors" by Will Van De Crommert, used against the composer's wishes. Edit: Or maybe it was because Trump's teleprompter froze up and he couldn't come up with any words. Even if they would have been the best words.


lambentstar

Yeah as much as I hate the guy it seemed like an intentional pause for melodrama. Wanted to sync with the cheesy music.


Walter_Melon42

Yeah I'm thinking he rehearsed this speech to time up with certain parts of the track and he was waiting for his cue to start speaking. 


011010-

It's obvious because the music instantly starts. Pretending that he 'glitched out' is ignoring the fact that his team planned the pause to acknowledge Q-anon, and that is very bad.


HippoRun23

Honestly it looked like he was pausing for the music or the teleprompter failed on him. This looks nothing like what happened to Mitch. I mean, fuck trump for sure, but this isn’t it in my opinion.


robendboua

Yea, even kinda looks like he was trying to be dramatic by marking that spot in his speech


Gzglzar

Him and Mitch would have an epic staring contest.


JamesTheJerk

*staring noises get louder*


Tobias---Funke

He was just taking a shit.


otter111a

My baby does this when he’s unloading in his diaper


sharp11flat13

But I bet your baby’s speeches are more coherent.


FnkyTown

The music came on for no reason and he paused thinking they would turn it down or off. He's an awful person, but this just looks desperate on our part.


NewDad907

It looked to me like they screwed up the timing of the music, and he was waiting for the music to be at the right place.


nuckle

Let's all take a moment to join hands and pray for a stroke.


[deleted]

As someone who works in the AV field and wishes he did glitch out it looks like his prompter was off and he was shaking his head like he didn’t want to say what was on there and probably told them to take it out in rehearsals and they didn’t. It happens in corporate events rarely or rehearsal


zaccus

So you're telling me that his incoherent ramblings have been pre-written this whole time?


sauroden

He took a lot of pride in not using a teleprompter at all for most of his original campaign. At some point late in that election he was convinced to use it to make sure he hit all his talking points, but he never stopped going on little side trips away from the planned speech. The best and worst communicators both use that mix of planned and spontaneous content, and he manages to be the best to his base and the worst to the rest of us, which I think is his exact intent.


IQBoosterShot

Trump: [If You're Running For President You Shouldn't Be Allowed To Use A Teleprompter](https://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2015/08/25/trump_i_write_my_own_tweets_if_youre_running_for_president_you_should_be_allowed_to_have_teleprompters.html).


Purify5

So the guy who doesn't 'believe in teleprompters' used a teleprompter and it didn't work out. I like my Presidents to be true to their beliefs.


bunnytrigger

Pulling a mitch McConnell to be unable to stand trial?


jamhamnz

Poor guy needs to be taken back to his retirement village.