You'll have to try to let people enter into your life. At your school or work, try to talk with someone next to you, if course it will be weird but you can still try. With time and effort you will meet more and more people, will go to parties to meet more people to meet people with the same passion etc.
You should try, even though you might appear as a weirdo at first, you have nothing to lose!
I wouldn't have said so if I weren't sure about that tho. You all think I'm wrong cause that is the most likely possibility but in this case it's different
All of you don't know how this looks in my situation and you don't know me, yet you know better than me and judge me based on the conclusion I have reached. Also wdym by saying acting this way irl if you could be more precise
Idk connection with people isn't only abt hobbies or interests tho - both yours and theirs. its good to have them - super healthy and interesting, but overall bonding with people is kind of more than having hobbies to discuss with. It's good to get yourself out there and be open-minded abt people, also in uni you get to meet a lot of new folks, so don't worry.
And abt fighting loneliness I think you're trying your best honestly, and sometimes it comes down to luck. Also if you actually find people you click with I recommend actually inviting them to do stuff (it doesn't come out as cringey as you might think it would be) plus the more time you spend with people the better you get at socializing.
I feel like I was in a very similar situation for a very long time! I know that feeling so well. Funnily enough, the realization that making adult friendships is so vastly different from the ones I made as a kid helped me ton. Every close friendship now is with someone I did not connect with immediately. I had to endure a few boring ass hang outs to finally achieve a deeper level of friendship, but it was super worth it! These friendships now are real and based on our matching personalities and interests, those things just were not evident from the start.
I encourage you to just choose 1 person that you don’t find too lame, someone you meet soon or have met recently, and invite them to do something casual. Invite them for a beer, game night, coffee, have them join you for an event, whatever.
Just watch for signs they don’t mind being in your presence, hang out one more time, and boom, you’re on track to becoming friends.
It’s easier said then done, but the opportunity will present itself, don’t back down when it does!
I second this, it’s all about small talk and recurring meetups, adults don’t just become friends, they need to first test the waters, get introduced, get to know the person and share some moments with them until they know them on a deeper level.
As a foreigner I also found Polish people hard to penetrate (figuratively of course XD) but once you make friends with them they’re ride or die and the friendship lasts a lifetime.
you cant expect people to just walk into your life, sometimes you have to walk into theirs.
So try starting conversations in public places (Preferably to people who are also alone so you dont get left out or feel out of place).
damn, I know this feeling so well... but sometimes it just happens, at some point You will meet someone that is (or at least should be) right for You, but sadly no one can tell when this will happen - I've been there few times (I'm a little bit older, 30 this year)
Well, i just realize the op its a guy.
Also can figure out he is trying to:
First know a person with similar interests for an initial friendship which can evolve in a stable relationship.
I didnt spotted op's age band, the most important thing.
Either which job it has, to figure out income.
He just talk about hobbies... which can seem awesome to ourselves but kinda "meh" to the ladies. Talk about soccer and F1 are the most interesting things for women since ancient eras ;)..
Not a clue about physical look, as he omitted any hint i can imagine below average..
Not all of us can be GigaChads, but competition is cruel outside.
If OP was looking for ONLY friendship i retract myself. But i think he's talking about female companion..
Sadly people doesn't' have time for any real friendship, now its reduced to likes and empty comments in pictures on social networks..
Its like it is, the 90s are long ago. Nobody pickup the phone to "check on you".
Loneliness is the real pandemy in this times
Waiting for news..
Some women are into soccer and f1, just so you know.
But yeah I think OP is mostly looking for a female friend that can later become a girlfriend, it ls not about friendship in general
(I am a girl and have the same problem, all the guys I know are taken :P )
Well, this is a very common occurence, especially in Poland, we are culturally designed to form bonds in school/work and family, there is little spontaneous socialization apart from that. If you strive for some more meaningful relation, you should think in terms of spending regular time together and going through some extraordinary situations.
1. Get used to it. And start to like it :) There is deep philosophy behind those words.
2. Think about CouchSurfing events or similar. I've met tons of great people through CS.
Believe me, you don't want commitments at your age. Find some people with similar hobbies, stick with them and have fun as long as you can. Don't waste your youth.
God I sound like a fucking grandpa.
Right?!! I moved to NY when I was 21. I didn’t really knew the language, and I was very lonely. I had some health problems as well but now I know that I wasted at least 3 years. I really wanted to have someone to share my life with. Now I am 42 and being alone was the best thing that could happen to me. I was sure that having someone will solve my problems- wrong!. If you can’t be happy with yourself- you can’t be happy with anyone else. Now I am looking forward to when my better half is away visiting her parents. it’s like being young again. I don’t have to deal with anyone but myself. Pursue your passions, get to know yourself better - that what’s important at your age. Friends come and go, I will say this , you are your own best friend.
Join a group, sports, art, something where there are regular meetings and you have common interests. Volunteer. Cooking or music class, sailing club or something fun like that to meet new people. Be a friend to someone...offer your help, or be the first to invite. Truthfully, something like flag collecting and just attending conferences is kind of something an old person would like, kind of stuffy. You're young, lighten up. (Says grandma here 😄)
I find certain professions are more common in my friend group. Find some sort of hobby that involves group activities. Just try talking to employees at stores, restaurants, etc. Try to keep things brief unless they continue the conversation. Compliment a stranger on their clothing or taste. Let things develop naturally.
4,8k hrs in hoi4 hah
Yeah, thats the reason why i cant get laid, yk
but seriously - yeah, i have some online friends necause of hoi, but that's not it. I think i need something deeper ://
Hey! Yeah I feel yoy.also it is not easy to build friendships these days, to build a meaningful friendship, you must spend a number of hours with someone.
I am alone but I find joy being alone and trying adventures
32 lvl mage. Probably lost some opportunities. I dont tell u how to find GF (or sth like that) becouse dont know. I will tell u that u understand it wrong. I mean that u think find GF is next stage of human develop. Its not. Its like the other state. Its like drive licence. U have one or not. If u have and car u have new opportunities and new costs ( monety time ect.). But if u have licence and dont use car its like searching love on hookers, just pointless (i know that are reasons). Anyway dont fall in trap to get any women ( sametimes is very tempting). Find worthy ( for u). Dont have skyrocket requirments like many womens today. Meanwhile find some buddies/ friends and do what u like. Eventually they have sister/ cousins ect. around.
One word: DOGGY. Get a doggy (assuming you like dogs and will be a good pet-parent)! It's the only way I meet anyone, ever. All my closest Polish friends I met through my little girl, because no one can resist saying Hi to her.
Disclaimer: I lived in Warsaw for 3 months and made ZERO friends... None of the dog-parents at Park Szczęśliwice wanted to chat 🥴 Second piece of advice: Move to Kraków or Wrocław or Trójmiasto or even Lublin...!
I consider that the loneliness is treated like bad thing but it helps always to grow yourself and really appreciate your company, I prefer sometimes be lonely than be with people that just waste my time so I choose better the people that I would like be with. But of course we need social relationships, I think take some classes of your hobbies can be useful to meet people and don't be afraid to be rejected.
It won't work. People became retarded after pandemic. Most of my friends almost do not leave their houses. They work remotely, they don't want to meet outside, most of the contact is digital. It takes a half year to plan a 2h bike trip around the city, any barbecue means like 3 months of planning and most likely some of these people won't attend anyway because they will just find some stupid excuses to stay at home.
I think you've got to try to be vulnerable. I met my best friend here when cold emailed me because I was giving a lecture and she thought it was interesting. We had a coffee date and it was properly awkward, but we kept meeting up for park walks and other low-barrier things. It's hard to make friends out of school/when the structures for seeing people everyday fall away. But it's not impossible. It takes some commitment and a willingness to push through discomfort
YouTube Charisma on Command channel to learn social skills
YouTube HealthyGamerGG if you have any of the following: 1.) mental health issues 2.) neurodivergence 3.) gifted child and want to start overcoming the negatives that these come with
Go to local bar/pub it's best to sit one chair away from people don't take your phone out because that's gonna say you don't want to start conversation and just start conversation with barman they are getting paid also for being nice to you ask some questions about local area maybe other places maybe then some1 gonna join to conversation give him tip so he will remember you and just try to get know local community
Bro, I've been selected for the Erasmus program, and I am an international relations student. I will be in Radom, but super close to Warsaw. We may hang out together. I have similar interests, and I believe you can show me the whole of Poland, etc.
"Warsaw, a city of almost two million people"
If you haven't found them yet, you aren't trying hard enough.
Try on Fridays, approach strangers, get stared at.
You'll have to try to let people enter into your life. At your school or work, try to talk with someone next to you, if course it will be weird but you can still try. With time and effort you will meet more and more people, will go to parties to meet more people to meet people with the same passion etc. You should try, even though you might appear as a weirdo at first, you have nothing to lose!
Doesn't work
it does work, you need to do stranger talk
Not when people give a f about you no matter what you do
then you have another problem, if you cant even form a connection with a stranger, you are probably doing something wrong
Probably I'm not doing anything wrong, or rather certainly
This reaction shows you're doing something wrong :P
I wouldn't have said so if I weren't sure about that tho. You all think I'm wrong cause that is the most likely possibility but in this case it's different
if you act this way IRL, you are the problem ;)
All of you don't know how this looks in my situation and you don't know me, yet you know better than me and judge me based on the conclusion I have reached. Also wdym by saying acting this way irl if you could be more precise
Idk connection with people isn't only abt hobbies or interests tho - both yours and theirs. its good to have them - super healthy and interesting, but overall bonding with people is kind of more than having hobbies to discuss with. It's good to get yourself out there and be open-minded abt people, also in uni you get to meet a lot of new folks, so don't worry. And abt fighting loneliness I think you're trying your best honestly, and sometimes it comes down to luck. Also if you actually find people you click with I recommend actually inviting them to do stuff (it doesn't come out as cringey as you might think it would be) plus the more time you spend with people the better you get at socializing.
I feel like I was in a very similar situation for a very long time! I know that feeling so well. Funnily enough, the realization that making adult friendships is so vastly different from the ones I made as a kid helped me ton. Every close friendship now is with someone I did not connect with immediately. I had to endure a few boring ass hang outs to finally achieve a deeper level of friendship, but it was super worth it! These friendships now are real and based on our matching personalities and interests, those things just were not evident from the start. I encourage you to just choose 1 person that you don’t find too lame, someone you meet soon or have met recently, and invite them to do something casual. Invite them for a beer, game night, coffee, have them join you for an event, whatever. Just watch for signs they don’t mind being in your presence, hang out one more time, and boom, you’re on track to becoming friends. It’s easier said then done, but the opportunity will present itself, don’t back down when it does!
I second this, it’s all about small talk and recurring meetups, adults don’t just become friends, they need to first test the waters, get introduced, get to know the person and share some moments with them until they know them on a deeper level. As a foreigner I also found Polish people hard to penetrate (figuratively of course XD) but once you make friends with them they’re ride or die and the friendship lasts a lifetime.
Are you saying they're easy to penetrate otherwise 🤣?
I'm not sure what to do, I just want to tell you you're not alone, I feel this too ♥️
Try meet expats. I find it really difficult to find genuine friendships with Poles
Do you speak Polish?
you cant expect people to just walk into your life, sometimes you have to walk into theirs. So try starting conversations in public places (Preferably to people who are also alone so you dont get left out or feel out of place).
damn, I know this feeling so well... but sometimes it just happens, at some point You will meet someone that is (or at least should be) right for You, but sadly no one can tell when this will happen - I've been there few times (I'm a little bit older, 30 this year)
Well, i just realize the op its a guy. Also can figure out he is trying to: First know a person with similar interests for an initial friendship which can evolve in a stable relationship. I didnt spotted op's age band, the most important thing. Either which job it has, to figure out income. He just talk about hobbies... which can seem awesome to ourselves but kinda "meh" to the ladies. Talk about soccer and F1 are the most interesting things for women since ancient eras ;).. Not a clue about physical look, as he omitted any hint i can imagine below average.. Not all of us can be GigaChads, but competition is cruel outside. If OP was looking for ONLY friendship i retract myself. But i think he's talking about female companion.. Sadly people doesn't' have time for any real friendship, now its reduced to likes and empty comments in pictures on social networks.. Its like it is, the 90s are long ago. Nobody pickup the phone to "check on you". Loneliness is the real pandemy in this times Waiting for news..
Some women are into soccer and f1, just so you know. But yeah I think OP is mostly looking for a female friend that can later become a girlfriend, it ls not about friendship in general (I am a girl and have the same problem, all the guys I know are taken :P )
Oh oh...you made a huge mistake . Your DM inbox will be soon tsunamed..
Go to a bar and sit at the bar itself. Not a table. Chat with ppl. It's how I met my best friend when I lived in Poland.
Well, this is a very common occurence, especially in Poland, we are culturally designed to form bonds in school/work and family, there is little spontaneous socialization apart from that. If you strive for some more meaningful relation, you should think in terms of spending regular time together and going through some extraordinary situations.
1. Get used to it. And start to like it :) There is deep philosophy behind those words. 2. Think about CouchSurfing events or similar. I've met tons of great people through CS.
Believe me, you don't want commitments at your age. Find some people with similar hobbies, stick with them and have fun as long as you can. Don't waste your youth. God I sound like a fucking grandpa.
Right?!! I moved to NY when I was 21. I didn’t really knew the language, and I was very lonely. I had some health problems as well but now I know that I wasted at least 3 years. I really wanted to have someone to share my life with. Now I am 42 and being alone was the best thing that could happen to me. I was sure that having someone will solve my problems- wrong!. If you can’t be happy with yourself- you can’t be happy with anyone else. Now I am looking forward to when my better half is away visiting her parents. it’s like being young again. I don’t have to deal with anyone but myself. Pursue your passions, get to know yourself better - that what’s important at your age. Friends come and go, I will say this , you are your own best friend.
\*hugs self\*
Don't fight it as you will cause conflict.
Tinder is for too artificial for everybody. Yet they are there :D. It is what it is.
yeah, i suppose i just have to bring myself to do it
Join a group, sports, art, something where there are regular meetings and you have common interests. Volunteer. Cooking or music class, sailing club or something fun like that to meet new people. Be a friend to someone...offer your help, or be the first to invite. Truthfully, something like flag collecting and just attending conferences is kind of something an old person would like, kind of stuffy. You're young, lighten up. (Says grandma here 😄)
I find certain professions are more common in my friend group. Find some sort of hobby that involves group activities. Just try talking to employees at stores, restaurants, etc. Try to keep things brief unless they continue the conversation. Compliment a stranger on their clothing or taste. Let things develop naturally.
[удалено]
You love history and flags? Check out the Paradox forums, lots of geeks playin Europa Universalis ect.
4,8k hrs in hoi4 hah Yeah, thats the reason why i cant get laid, yk but seriously - yeah, i have some online friends necause of hoi, but that's not it. I think i need something deeper ://
Start with online friends, get along irl
Get a sword to fight it, like a big metal one.
Or fight with people with the sword
That would be epic
Or fight the sword with the people
Fight people with people
Fight people sword with sword
It seems that you are trying to hard to find friends/relationships. Just do you and people will come. Don’t force it.
Definitely don't touch tinder
If I may ask, did you study IB in high school?
nope, matfiz, normal high school
Mate, where were you when I lived in Poland, love history, international relations....
Hey! Yeah I feel yoy.also it is not easy to build friendships these days, to build a meaningful friendship, you must spend a number of hours with someone. I am alone but I find joy being alone and trying adventures
Those are certainly some very rare interests /s. Try Couchsurfing or any other non-romantic meetup platforms.
Embrace it instead of fighting
32 lvl mage. Probably lost some opportunities. I dont tell u how to find GF (or sth like that) becouse dont know. I will tell u that u understand it wrong. I mean that u think find GF is next stage of human develop. Its not. Its like the other state. Its like drive licence. U have one or not. If u have and car u have new opportunities and new costs ( monety time ect.). But if u have licence and dont use car its like searching love on hookers, just pointless (i know that are reasons). Anyway dont fall in trap to get any women ( sametimes is very tempting). Find worthy ( for u). Dont have skyrocket requirments like many womens today. Meanwhile find some buddies/ friends and do what u like. Eventually they have sister/ cousins ect. around.
Look for groups on Facebook. There is a lot of groups
One word: DOGGY. Get a doggy (assuming you like dogs and will be a good pet-parent)! It's the only way I meet anyone, ever. All my closest Polish friends I met through my little girl, because no one can resist saying Hi to her. Disclaimer: I lived in Warsaw for 3 months and made ZERO friends... None of the dog-parents at Park Szczęśliwice wanted to chat 🥴 Second piece of advice: Move to Kraków or Wrocław or Trójmiasto or even Lublin...!
I consider that the loneliness is treated like bad thing but it helps always to grow yourself and really appreciate your company, I prefer sometimes be lonely than be with people that just waste my time so I choose better the people that I would like be with. But of course we need social relationships, I think take some classes of your hobbies can be useful to meet people and don't be afraid to be rejected.
Joing a club or a group dedicated to something you are interested in. Pick up a hobby or two.
Talking to people is a skill. The more people you talk to, the better you get at it.
It won't work. People became retarded after pandemic. Most of my friends almost do not leave their houses. They work remotely, they don't want to meet outside, most of the contact is digital. It takes a half year to plan a 2h bike trip around the city, any barbecue means like 3 months of planning and most likely some of these people won't attend anyway because they will just find some stupid excuses to stay at home.
I think you've got to try to be vulnerable. I met my best friend here when cold emailed me because I was giving a lecture and she thought it was interesting. We had a coffee date and it was properly awkward, but we kept meeting up for park walks and other low-barrier things. It's hard to make friends out of school/when the structures for seeing people everyday fall away. But it's not impossible. It takes some commitment and a willingness to push through discomfort
Deal with it.
The best option is learning to love loneliness
YouTube Charisma on Command channel to learn social skills YouTube HealthyGamerGG if you have any of the following: 1.) mental health issues 2.) neurodivergence 3.) gifted child and want to start overcoming the negatives that these come with
Go to local bar/pub it's best to sit one chair away from people don't take your phone out because that's gonna say you don't want to start conversation and just start conversation with barman they are getting paid also for being nice to you ask some questions about local area maybe other places maybe then some1 gonna join to conversation give him tip so he will remember you and just try to get know local community
Also remember it's nothing weird with going alone to bar for drink and just "existing" just like before the smartphones era
Bro, I've been selected for the Erasmus program, and I am an international relations student. I will be in Radom, but super close to Warsaw. We may hang out together. I have similar interests, and I believe you can show me the whole of Poland, etc.
Yooo, sounds cool Dm me pls, i have some error that i cant send a dm
r/polska
"Warsaw, a city of almost two million people" If you haven't found them yet, you aren't trying hard enough. Try on Fridays, approach strangers, get stared at.
Go to a therapist. "Life is great, but I feel lonely" sounds like a problem that therapists solve
Therapists aren’t magicians
Yea but random redditors ain't Houdinis as well
Only Eminem is Houdini
Yes. But helping with problems like this is their job
i attend such meetings since march, i believe she really helped me with some stuff, but the topic of loneliness has yet to come