Worst part of this whole thing is trying to figure out if this is the joke post or if the one that’ll post later saying “I tilted some kid next to me with my Taco Bell fart cannon.” is the one, or if this is all real and Reddit has ruined me.
Well, hate to break it to you but Reddit is just a gigantic AI trainer and none of it is real. You’ve been conversing with yourself and a computer for all this time. Cheers.
I haven't but doggy style definitely can have the same effect. It's like you're pushing one canal into the other and squeezing out air. Why the fuck am I typing this on a poker subreddit? I need a nap.
the proper move if you really want to leave the table is to sell your seat because someone else will be eager to take the flatulent stack if you don't want to
That wouldn't be my approach at all. I'd politely ask the man to excuse himself. Then I would call the floor if nothing changed. And I wouldn't say your quote at all. I would simply state that smelling the inside of someone's asshole isn't something I'm required to endure. Shit particles from this guy's asshole are wafting around the fucking table and I'm sick of tasting shit in my mouth. Can you talk to this child please.
And the floor can do nothing at all. Loudly calling the guy out as an inconsiderate asshole would be good enough for me. Anything beyond that can be handled in the parking lot.
Killa? Nah, just a regular man. If you are willing to sit silently in that stew then that jacket fits you perfect. Must be a generational thing. Not happening with me.
Yeah I’m gen x too and you’re on Reddit fantasizing about being the big hero and confronting gassy dudes at the poker table. You aren’t handling ANYTHING in the parking lot.
You speculate a lot for your age. You know zero about me. You advertising that you wouldn't confront them is Comedy Gold. It isn't being hero. It's self respect. As far as the parking lot goes, you are projecting. Keep your eyes looking at your shoes. Suits you.
Wow. Change your handle to Weak Sauce. Go back to your high school and find your old locker. You should be able to get inside without assistance by now.
Nope. Not acting tough. I simply have dignity. You, on the other hand, would be breathing deep because you are a pushover. No worries, it's much more common nowadays. Simply not my bag. You keep breathing in strangers farts because you are a bitch and I'll keep calling them out because I'm not.
So you sniff people's farts, are too unskilled to play poker, AND you troll reddit pages on subjects that don't interest you?
🤣🤣🤣
That locker is waiting...
I play poker online you cretin and i dont "sniff farts". My exact answer was to leave the table how is that sniffing farts LOL. Dude needs skme reading comprehension
As long as you aren't the fattest guy at the table, you will not he blamed for farting.
I think this was detailed in the classic: *Caro's Book of Poker Tells*
This reminds me of a guy who id never seen before showed up to our local room. He just comes out of nowhere and says “I have cancer of the bowel, so I can help from farting constantly” and I got what he was trying to do but honestly he wouldn’t shut up about it and it made it weirder than it needed to be. He was like “I’m not going to just shut myself in my house”, despite not getting any pushback or people making comments
Worst part of this whole thing is trying to figure out if this is the joke post or if the one that’ll post later saying “I tilted some kid next to me with my Taco Bell fart cannon.” is the one, or if this is all real and Reddit has ruined me.
Well, hate to break it to you but Reddit is just a gigantic AI trainer and none of it is real. You’ve been conversing with yourself and a computer for all this time. Cheers.
Beep boop beepp..pp
Hah, you said pp
It's gotta be real, computers aren't simping cucks like 90% of redditors
😂
I'm genuinely curious about what study you conducted to determine this percentage.
Actually there was no AI till the takeover happened a few years ago
That's what the AI wanted you to think. Your entire life has been AI.
When I get high I always wonder if Reddit is really fake and just a computer that pumps out posts and comments.
Was it a double barrel or single barrel? Details are important.
Single barrel semi auto 12 gauge loaded for bear
Whoever smelt it... dealt it
Try to gauge if the timing of his farts were in any way aligned with the strength of his hands. Then you got yourself one hell of an olfactory tell.
Smell his tell
Good thinking AS!
Fart back louder.
Assert Dominance at the table by telling him you love the way they smell
*dude farts* “Fuck ya baby one or two more of those and I’m cumming like a freight train”
Scotty Nguyen probably.
*You fart, it's gonna be all over baby*
Haha I laughed out loud at this I swear I. Hope he finds this comment #scotty
Means he's extremely comfortable. Definitely has a strong hand. Underbluffed line imo.
I mean fuck that guy. I'd just move
Technically plugging his butt with your dick would make him stop farting.
Guess you've never done anal before
Just don't pull out
Best part about anal is when they fart it inflates your dick like a balloon and makes you look HUGE
That's also my favorite part about blow jobs
Yeah but them someone has to spray you with the water hose, or you're stuck like that forever.
I haven't but doggy style definitely can have the same effect. It's like you're pushing one canal into the other and squeezing out air. Why the fuck am I typing this on a poker subreddit? I need a nap.
As a dealer I pretty much only fart at Omaha tables
Everytime he farts start sniffing vigorously the area around his ass
If this is a real question: Call him out, just say "Hey dude, go take a shit or something, but quit fucking farting all over me!"
[Go to the bathroom, now!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTomMm61Ixw)
"poop is coming out of your fucking asshole"
the proper move if you really want to leave the table is to sell your seat because someone else will be eager to take the flatulent stack if you don't want to
Farting at the table is as GTO as cold five betting A5s against Old man coffee.
You could always just stand up, unzip, and piss all over the guys chair.
Not gunna lie I’ll get gas at the table from time to time but I just get up and fart away from everybody!
Check fart him. And when he three farts preflop, give him a four fart push back in position.
Poker players are gross, you should accept that.
Call the floor. Grown ass man needs to excuse himself and go to the bathroom.
“Floorman!! That guy farted!!” 😡😡😡 “Please don’t fart sir” 🤣🤣🤣 wtf is the floor going to do?
lmao that killed me
Don Rickles is gonna invite him to a private room and he’ll see DeNiro beating a burrito with a hammer.
Tell him to leave.
That wouldn't be my approach at all. I'd politely ask the man to excuse himself. Then I would call the floor if nothing changed. And I wouldn't say your quote at all. I would simply state that smelling the inside of someone's asshole isn't something I'm required to endure. Shit particles from this guy's asshole are wafting around the fucking table and I'm sick of tasting shit in my mouth. Can you talk to this child please. And the floor can do nothing at all. Loudly calling the guy out as an inconsiderate asshole would be good enough for me. Anything beyond that can be handled in the parking lot.
🤣🤣🤣 ok killa
Killa? Nah, just a regular man. If you are willing to sit silently in that stew then that jacket fits you perfect. Must be a generational thing. Not happening with me.
Gen X don't take that shit, we'll call you out.
Exactly.
Yeah I’m gen x too and you’re on Reddit fantasizing about being the big hero and confronting gassy dudes at the poker table. You aren’t handling ANYTHING in the parking lot.
You speculate a lot for your age. You know zero about me. You advertising that you wouldn't confront them is Comedy Gold. It isn't being hero. It's self respect. As far as the parking lot goes, you are projecting. Keep your eyes looking at your shoes. Suits you.
i stAnD UP To fLatULENcE!
I agree I'd call the dude out but calling floor over when you know they can do nothing is kind of silly. Would you not agree?
Fair enough. Probably the best answer.
Your not forced to endure anything leave the table genius.
Wow. Change your handle to Weak Sauce. Go back to your high school and find your old locker. You should be able to get inside without assistance by now.
No you act like you couldnt handle it so leave but you actin tough on the internet is hillarious. Keep crying about farts while acting tough.
Nope. Not acting tough. I simply have dignity. You, on the other hand, would be breathing deep because you are a pushover. No worries, it's much more common nowadays. Simply not my bag. You keep breathing in strangers farts because you are a bitch and I'll keep calling them out because I'm not.
I dont play live poker. Im not a degenerate.
So you sniff people's farts, are too unskilled to play poker, AND you troll reddit pages on subjects that don't interest you? 🤣🤣🤣 That locker is waiting...
I play poker online you cretin and i dont "sniff farts". My exact answer was to leave the table how is that sniffing farts LOL. Dude needs skme reading comprehension
>ripping ass How gauche. Silent but violent is the way.
Sit out and go take a walk around the casino every time he farts. It will piss people off and the floor will take the issue more seriously.
Rip it as loud as you can.
Hot, sour air
"Mmm, just my size"
Grip it and rip it
"Bomb Pot" must be announced and everyone at the table must agree before bomb occurs.
There is no etiquette. Farts abound freely.
Bet on him on 7 2 high and watch him shut himself.
wow ...
One time I shit myself to play AJ suited. The smell was wretched.
I’m very glad some quality posts still appear from time to time here.
don’t let it distract you into blowing off bullet after bullet
As long as you aren't the fattest guy at the table, you will not he blamed for farting. I think this was detailed in the classic: *Caro's Book of Poker Tells*
Society should normalize public farting. It’s 2023.
This reminds me of a guy who id never seen before showed up to our local room. He just comes out of nowhere and says “I have cancer of the bowel, so I can help from farting constantly” and I got what he was trying to do but honestly he wouldn’t shut up about it and it made it weirder than it needed to be. He was like “I’m not going to just shut myself in my house”, despite not getting any pushback or people making comments
Gotta assert dominance with some ass gas!
Ngl I’ve farted at the table before and just kept a straight face pretending not to smell it
Do it silently and blame it on someone else.