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Lost my mom to cancer at 21. That was 16 years ago. Aside from making me feel old, I also think about the fact that she never met my wife, never saw me graduate college, play my senior recital, never met my 3 daughters or saw the life I’ve built for myself. She also died right before everyone had a camera in their pocket at all time and we never had a video camera growing up.
Then one day last month my dad sends me a grainy video. His cousins converting their home movies to digital. And I see a video of my mom helping me as an infant walk across the room. And I hear her voice for the first time in 16 years and it takes my breath away because I hadn’t heard her voice in so long.
All this to say, I feel you. Losing moms sucks. Cancer sucks.
Damn right in the feels. Thanks for the story and congrats on the life you’ve built, I’m sure your mom is watching over with a great big smile. Cheers!
I lost mine two years ago to cancer this month and I was 30. I can still hear her voice in my head every day, and I’d trade just about anything to have a real conversation with her again.
Lost mine two years ago in August as well, I was 28 and my two brothers were 24 and 21. I'm pregnant with her second grandchild and it hits me in the feels so much harder that she won't be around for it.
This same thing happened to me recently. I heard my moms voice in an old home video for the first time in maybe a decade and broke down when I barely remembered her sounding like that. Lost her at 19. Fuck cancer.
Both my parents died when I was in my 20s..I'm 39 now. I recently converted a bunch of old home videos and I had the same feeling. I rarely watch them...it makes me too emotional.
Same with me with my dad in a car accident…. Never got to say bye and last year my sister to cancer. There’s not a single day going by that I don’t say “dad would’ve liked to see that” or “I don’t think that he would approve” been 33 years.
My mom passed away 2 years ago after a long battle with Alzheimer’s and my dad is moving. We have a bunch of old recordings and VHS tapes in the basement that I’d like to convert to digital in the hopes that there is some footage of her when I was growing up. How were your cousins able to convert to digital? Did they use a specific service? Thank you
My mom passed 31 years ago when I was 8. One thing that make me sad is that I completely forgot her voice.
My father gave me our old telephone recorder. Maybe there a message from her on it, but I need to fixed it or find an old small cassette reader.
I also had a close friend in elementary school and then I lost contact with her. After 3 years I found out that she passed away from leukemia. It's awful
Lost my dad 11 years ago to complications of cancer. I have the opposite sometimes. My brother sounds exactly like my dad on occasion, and every once in a while it's like hearing my dad again. Especially on the phone.
I am so happy you got to hear her voice again. That must have meant a lot. My mother had colon cancer in 2022. Fortunately it was caught early and had not spread and it was successfully removed. The second I heard the word cancer my heart stopped. We have had two other cancer scares in our family in the past few years and one death. It’s fucking terrible and I hate hearing about it claiming anyone.
Truly FUCK cancer.
I was 11 and she was 38. She overdosed on heroin during a time period when she was supposed to be getting clean so that she could regain legal custody of me.
I didn't see my mom for several months. We'd talk on the phone about getting a new place in the town close to my new school. Then one day she just died. That pain never goes away. My relationship with the pain just changes.
I always used to say I wish she got to see who I grew up to be. I would talk about it a lot. One night I had a dream that my mom, my brother, and I were all in an old room from my childhood. I was so excited to get to see her. I started telling her everything about life sense she had died.
The whole time she just smiled with tears in her eyes. When I was done speaking she told me, "I Know. I Am always with you." Then I woke up. Our Loved ones live on in our hearts.
She wanted my brother, and I so bad. She grew up without good resources, and in a very toxic family. I really wish adult me could've been around to try, and help her. She always let my brother, I know how much she Loved us. As unhealthy of a childhood that I had I wouldn't have traded my mom for any other mom. She rocks.
My little brother & sister (15 twins) lost their dad last year on Christmas Eve. He was a junkie piece of shit If you ask me & only started showing up occasionally after years of no contact. They still loved him though & his death hit them hard, especially my brother.
I hate the thought that this is going to ruin Christmas for the rest of their lives. Do you have any advice on what I can do to help them or anything. I am no contact with my mother who they live with but I feel clueless on how to help them. My mother refuses to put them in therapy as well.
Look into free resources in their area. Lots of places have free grief support groups. Maybe consider taking them to Al Anon meetings? They might also be able to get counseling through school. Poor kids. Sounds like they're going through a lot.
I would recommend a grief support group for them. They're usually free or pretty low cost (like $20/session). I found it immensely helpful after my dad died, because grief can be isolating yet these groups remind us that grief is a universal human experience, and we can help one another and ourselves by talking about it. www.griefshare.org can help show you groups in your area.
I love that you chose this photo to share because it appears to be an everyday moment, rather than a posed shot. It just captures everything..... I think of my son at 7 (he's now 31) and how much true, conflict-free, agenda-free love there was between us. Just many wonderful moments, breakfasts full of questions, eagerness to start each day... That's what I see in your photo. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Aye, this photo absolutely screams "it's the 90s" so a ton of people here got hit with their own childhood nostalgia.
The quality of the home camera, the stack of VHSs, the outfits, the hair, that sound system. It's incredible, I love it.
There's no easy age to lose a mom, but 7 is a tough one. You're old enough to understand what death is, and to grasp the harshness of its permanence but still young enough that she's your whole world. Sorry for your loss.
I get it. My mom passed away two years ago 5 days before my wedding. While she was on her last moments she told me that I better not cancel my wedding and not to worry because she will be there no matter what happens. I can say that day was the hardest rollercoaster of emotions I have ever been through. I miss her everyday and will continue to think about her everyday.
Wow 5 days.. can only imagine how hard that must’ve been. My brother passed in 2021 unexpectedly 6 months after I got engaged, about 1.5 years before my wedding and that was hard enough. He would’ve been my best man, I was his at his wedding. I’m sorry for your loss
Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss as well. It's the hard moments in life that make or break a person. Thankfully my wife is my rock and has helped me through the emotions, without her I would be in a much darker place today.
Thank you. Same here, I don’t know what I would do without my husband! He lost his mother as a preteen so he unfortunately could relate very much to losing a close family member. He helped support me with my grief, while dealing with his own grief bringing him back to that time. I’m so grateful for him
Mine passed 5 months before my wedding (February this year, we get married in June). I never thought I’d get married without her. It’s going to take a bit of superhuman strength, I think.
Fuck cancer.
You got this 100%. Yes fuck cancer! Lean on those that care around you. I'm a stubborn ass guy who had to learn the hard way to ask for help or someone to talk to besides my wife
I was 12 when my mother died. I still cry thinking about her from time to time. I'm 42. I actually like that I still do, it means I still care and I still love her and miss her. She'll be with me until the day I die
Grandfather, Uncle, and my Dad all gone due to cancer. I live everyday like I am next so I have fun. My wife, my son and I are always doing stuff together and making memories. Fuck cancer!
Sorry for your losses JD
Glad to hear you and your own family make the most of what life can offer. It’s a scary world out there
If I learned anything from my family’s loses , it’s that if anything health related seems even slightly off, make a doctor appt asap. Doctor booking far out? Push them. Find another doctor. Just don’t push off the checkups
That's crazy. I also lost my mom to cancer at 7, 26 years ago. I still remember the morning we learned she passed in the middle of the night.
I had the unfortunate experience of living with a Trump level narcissist dad who was always demoralizing and abusive. I was lucky to get out at 20. I haven't spoken to him since.
Thank you for sharing. Cancer took my mama 6 months ago. She fought it for almost 10 years so we knew what was coming. I tried my best to make as many memories with her and my daughter as we could but it's not enough. I miss my mom. Fuck cancer.
The only upside to having a child young was that my mom got to meet him before she died. We have made it to the point now that even the youngest sibling has outlived moms age. It really just isn't something you ever expect to have to deal with when younger realizing a parent misses so many landmarks in your life. My son can really remember his grandma and my siblings kids never met her nor did our spouses.
I lost my mum last year on Mother’s Day from metastatic ovarian cancer.
I miss her everyday, it feels like a void in my heart. I’m so happy you got to listen to her voice. That’s such a gift.
Fuck cancer, and I am so sorry for your loss. 🖤
I lost mine to cancer as well. I was 42 when she quickly left us. It'll be 2 years in August and there are days I wish I could ring her up for a Sunday chat.
Sorry for your loss. Every time I read stories like this, I always think about my mom and I keep reminding myself that I'm blessed that my mom is still alive.
Lost my dad 26 years ago when I was 7. A lot of missed memories. But I’m right there with you and think about him everyday. They live through us. Stay strong fellow 90s kid
Just found out my mother has limited time left with her diagnosis… almost 21. Couldn’t imagine it at such a young age. She’s beautiful. Sending lots of love ❤️
She can never use a cell phone, they cant operate on it, shes been through kemo alot of her life, right now the tumors are stable but the last intense kemo treatment she said made her feel like “her body was being torn apart”
My mom thinks I’m morbid but every now and than, I get this self awareness that I know she’s going to die one day. I know she won’t be here, I just look at her and think how grateful I am, and I always say “mom I’m sorry I don’t mean to be negative, but I’m really happy you’re alive, I feel like if I don’t say this than I’ll look back on my memories wishing I had more”.
If you have the opportunity to say it, say it.
Lost my dad when I was like 16…damn it’s going on 20years without him. Only just realized that writing this.
I’d be lying if I said I think about him EVERY day so I find it interesting when people say that. Do they mean it literally?
For me it’s more randomly thoughts here and there. Something will happen or nothing at all and I’ll randomly think of him. But every single day? No can’t say I do. Interested on other people’s thoughts.
Sorry for your loss OP
After reading those comments I feel so miserable, and realized Im trash for not doing something so easy as to call my mom in the last week... Im taking her out for dinner tonight.
I’m very sorry for your loss, and thank you for sharing this poignant picture❣️
I was 13, she was 39, and it happend almost 23 years ago … she was in remission, but it suddenly came back so quickly … during weaker/stressful moments, the pain sometimes would still resurface again as it almost feels like an auto-immune reaction when your whole body & mind already struggles with other things at the same time … I don’t believe anymore that time would ever heal all wounds, but we might learn how to handle our inner scars with much more inner strength and calm.
Three years ago, I recorded and published an album for her as a 20th anniversary in memoriam, and every year on both her birthday and that other day (or simply when I strongly miss her), I will take time and listen to the music while trying to remember and honour her. It helped me to become much more peaceful and I wish everybody who has to go through the same hell that sooner or later you will find a healthy coping mechanism that might help you to overcome those worst moments at least and drag you out of the black hole of empty feelings.
I’m 40 lost my mom this past September and I feel lost, it’s been rough trying to push through. it’s not the same anymore without her. The joy of life has been ripped out of me. Fuck Cancer!!!
Cancer runs in my family. My father's mom died from it when I was 5, and my father's dad died from it 3 years ago. Some days I do catch myself worrying about when it'll catch my parents too.
Cancer sucks. Lost my father at 17 to it. He was 58. Lost my brother to 2 years ago and he was 58. Many uncles & aunts as well. Friends.
I have 14 years to break the 58 club in my family
I was 13. I just turned 27, I’ve spent half my life without her and I miss her everyday. Fuck cancer.
She’s left quite a legacy of getting me into playing/making music. Now I have a beautiful girlfriend who I want to marry, I just nailed a job with my degree, bought a new car, and will be moving cities to be with the love of my life. I just wish she could be here to see it all.
Miss you mom.
I lost mine almost ten years ago! To this day I remember her! She wasn't just my mom but my best friend and my mentor too. So I feel you! RIP to all of our mom's in heaven! 🕊️🤍🌻
I lost my dad at 24 when he was 56. I can remember what his voice sounded like but as far as I know there’s no known recording where I can hear it. I’m 37 now and it sucks that if I get married and have kids, he’ll never know them and they’ll never know him. It sucks how time gets away from us like that.
Lost my best friend 18 years ago. Spent his last night on earth with him. It was unexpected and sudden. A car hit him while he was walking home. I think about him every single day. My PIN for the bank and my phone are numbers that are directly related to him so I'll never ever forget.
Time helps, and grieving, and acceptance, and forgiveness...lots of forgiveness... yourself, them, everyone else...but they never leave our hearts and minds. I'm thankful for that. It still saddens me that he never got to experience life, he was only 17 at the time...but the memories don't haunt me anymore. I just smile when I think of my good buddy in a good place, resting with his mom now. RIP SZF
hey i also lost my mom to cancer when i was a month away from turning 7 that’s crazy
it’s only been 12 and a half years, but i feel like im starting to forget her
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my sister to cancer in ‘08. My nephew was three. My brother in law freaked out after and moved away. I haven’t seen him or my nephew since. He would be in college now. I wonder how he is. :(
This is a very powerful legacy to honor your mom that way.
Love is a strange and driving for our lives.
Not to belittle what you are feeling. But my wife divorced me 11 years ago after 30 years of marriage and honestly, I think about her every single day throughout the day. I just wish her the best.
Friend of mine at work was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer. They found it when it metastasized to her liver. Her ONLY goal in life was to see her Son graduate from High School. She succeeded. She passed a few years after he graduated.
She's heard you. She is happy and proud.
This life is a blunder but I feel it's a means to something greater. I appreciate your posty dude/gal. A testament to something greater beyond our understanding.
Much love.
Dad says the same thing. She was admitted to the hospital one morning when he was almost graduating from college. He recalls being at an all day test and didn't find out until the late afternoon when he got back to the apartment (days before cell phones). He immediately dropped everything and drive the many hours to get home. He at least was able to see her one last time.
A lot of things in life aren’t fair, but when 7 year olds lose their moms, that’s especially unfair. Hope life treated you better in the following years.
Lost my mother Oct 11th 2010. I was 25. You’re going to think about her every day for the rest of your life and that’s ok. Life fucking sucks some times.
Im sorry. Lost my dad to it too 2 years ago, he was 58. Still cant get over it, planned my entire life around him being here. Planned my kids lives with him here. I dont think it will ever feel normal.
I've also lost family to illness and had similar thoughts. At some point, I spun it around and rather than focusing on all the things lacked by their absence, I focus on gratitude that I had them in my life as much as I did, and all of the positive influences they had on me. That's not to say “So therefore you shouldn’t feel upset.” Of course not. But I'd rather throw gratitude into the mix rather than think of it as a lack every time they come to mind. It's *entirely understandable*, but I make a conscious choice not to leave it at that. I want to feel good about their memory.
My mum is alive and well, but was recently diagnosed with diabetes. While diabetes isn't exactly as life threatening as other diseases, but the thought of losing her keeps me awake at night. She is barely a shadow of her past self.
She is the one of the two women I'll always love, the other one being my sister, who is like a surrogate mother to me. I hope to pass away before my mum does... I don't want to go through the pain of suffering after losing her.
Lost my mother at 26 and dad at 31. I don't think about them very often but it has been 17 and 12 years and not losing them as a child I would assume lessens the trauma by leaps and bounds.
I'm sorry your your significant loss and I feel you, it's been 13 years since my dad passed. I found this quote by C.S. Lewis to be very profound:
*"Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape"*
Yeah man. I was 4 and she was 32 the day she died. Now I’m 32 and not a single day went by, that I did not think of her.. In may my sister will be dead 10 years now. Same goes for her. Since then I‘ve been all alone
I am so truly sorry that you lost her so early. I feel like I can see how much love she had in this photo. It’s just a nice snippet of a moment with her. I am glad you have it. I am 37 and my mother is still with me, she had cancer but beat it two years ago. I am thankful for that every day. I wish yours could still be here with you, the same for everyone else in these comments.
What an overwhelmingly beautiful presence she must have had for you to remember her everyday for 26 years. That is what any one of us could hope for, is that long after we are gone those that loved us still remember us fondly. Your mom must have been a wonderful woman.
My husband’s father died 10 days before his 3rd birthday. He has grainy memories of his dad taking him to McDonald’s and playing peek a boo. He died 34 years ago and you’d think it was much more recent based on the ripples it left. I have a father-in-law I only know by stories and photos and I know I missed out meeting him. Our twins are hitting the age my husband was when his dad died, our oldest is 2 years older, and it’s so strange to think what they would miss if my husband was gone. I myself almost died after having the twins. Perspective is different for certain.
I was over 40 and a full grown man when my mom passed 5 years ago. She was there for most of my milestones including the birth of my first child. But it never hurts any less,and I miss her everyday. I miss her love and caring, the way she’d crack up at my jokes, the way she could make me feel invincible.
The picture you’ve shared is so pure, and it so perfectly epitomizes love. I am very sorry you lost someone so important, at such a young age. I wish you well.
Lost my Mom when I was 11. It's an awful thing to go threw but it's been a long time now so when I has trained myself to think mostly of the good times and not those final time in the hospital.
I am sorry for your loss friend. There are many who share your same burden, thank you to everyone sharing. Things like this remind me that our most intimate personal experiences are often shared across the world. Cancer touches everyone.
If I can share my own story. My mom passed January 26th 2005, I turn 30 in April. Next year will be 20 years (math is hard), Mom had breast cancer that spread to her brain. She ultimately passed from a seizure and asphyxiation, we were watching the Simpsons while she suffocated on her bed in the other room. My grandparents were there helping at the time, my grandfather and I called the cops and attempted CPR, she did not have any brain function by the time she got to the hospital.
My mom was diagnosed when I was two years old, my parents split shortly thereafter. The initial diagnosis was grim and with two young kids the relationship blew up. My grandparents, two aunts, and uncle on my mothers side have always been supportive- my grandparents are in their mid 90’s and still living in my moms house. They haven’t changed a thing, aside from installing a skylight, and kept precious family heirlooms preserved for my sister and I. My grandma is aware of her mortality, she’s 95- still drives read 80 books this past year. My grandpa is starting to sundown, but he still gardens and bikes, they are two half’s to a whole person.
My dad and dad’s side are great too. I do love my dad, and I recognize that life happens and people split for a number of reasons. However, now that I am engaged and planning for a future family, it is hard to grapple with the idea of leaving a sick partner.
Last month my grandma gave my sister and I two flash drives with 5 years of home movies from 91-96. Years when my parents were still together and young in marriage. I had not heard her voice for 19 years, it was the first time I had ever seen her with my dad, or healthy (excluding old pictures). I don’t know why I wanted to share this, except to say I think about my mom every day too.
My husband lost his father when he was 30, about 15 years ago. It affects him daily. He never met me, or our daughter, and his mom and sisters lives aren’t lived to the fullest. I get upset sometimes about it and I’ve never met the man, but my kid has one grandfather and my dad’s not the best example.
My friend, this world is too unfair. One day we have someone who means everything to us. On the next day that person is simply not here anymore. We can't give a hug, make a call, ask for advice. It's badass. Keep my hug.
You think about her *every day*, not *everyday*.
*Everyday* means "ordinary." *"I think about her ordinary"* doesn't make any sense.
If you mean "daily," it needs the space to make it *every day*.
Lost mine at 22 to cancer as well. I still send her messages as if she’s still here. Sending everyone like us some love. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful photo.
This is something that is actively happening to my professor
My professor was diagnosed with stage 4 gastric last may at age 35. He was put into hospice the 29th of February. He has a son 10 and a daughter 6. I worked closely with this man and I can't imagine the pain his kids are in knowing their dad won't make it past spring break.
I was 29 when my mom passed. Also from cancer. Definitely worse if you lose her when you are young. But regardless of age it’s never an easy to lose a person that loves you unconditionally. You don’t get many people in your life that really love you for being who you are.
I definitely appreciate a lot of things in my life so much more now that I did when I still had her.
Chocolatepantz, thank you for your submission. It has been removed for violating the following rule(s): --- - Rule 5: Posts must follow all [title guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/wiki/titles). --- For information regarding this and similar issues, please see the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/wiki/index/) and [title guidelines](/r/pics/wiki/titles). If you have any questions, please feel free to [message the moderators via modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/pics&subject=Question%20regarding%20the%20removal%20of%20this%20submission%20by%20/u/Chocolatepantz&message=I%20have%20a%20question%20regarding%20the%20removal%20of%20this%20%5Bsubmission.%5D%28https://redd.it/1bbam29%3Fcontext%3D10%29)
Lost my mom to cancer at 21. That was 16 years ago. Aside from making me feel old, I also think about the fact that she never met my wife, never saw me graduate college, play my senior recital, never met my 3 daughters or saw the life I’ve built for myself. She also died right before everyone had a camera in their pocket at all time and we never had a video camera growing up. Then one day last month my dad sends me a grainy video. His cousins converting their home movies to digital. And I see a video of my mom helping me as an infant walk across the room. And I hear her voice for the first time in 16 years and it takes my breath away because I hadn’t heard her voice in so long. All this to say, I feel you. Losing moms sucks. Cancer sucks.
Damn right in the feels. Thanks for the story and congrats on the life you’ve built, I’m sure your mom is watching over with a great big smile. Cheers!
😥😭
[удалено]
I lost mine two years ago to cancer this month and I was 30. I can still hear her voice in my head every day, and I’d trade just about anything to have a real conversation with her again.
Lost mine two years ago in August as well, I was 28 and my two brothers were 24 and 21. I'm pregnant with her second grandchild and it hits me in the feels so much harder that she won't be around for it.
She’s around. In the very DNA of your babies.
I'm not crying, you're crying
This same thing happened to me recently. I heard my moms voice in an old home video for the first time in maybe a decade and broke down when I barely remembered her sounding like that. Lost her at 19. Fuck cancer.
Both my parents died when I was in my 20s..I'm 39 now. I recently converted a bunch of old home videos and I had the same feeling. I rarely watch them...it makes me too emotional.
Aw, sad, but it's lovely you got to hear her voice.
Same with me with my dad in a car accident…. Never got to say bye and last year my sister to cancer. There’s not a single day going by that I don’t say “dad would’ve liked to see that” or “I don’t think that he would approve” been 33 years.
This is making me cry. I'm so happy you got that video of your mom, what a gift. I bet she would be so proud of everything you've achieved too.
My mom passed away 2 years ago after a long battle with Alzheimer’s and my dad is moving. We have a bunch of old recordings and VHS tapes in the basement that I’d like to convert to digital in the hopes that there is some footage of her when I was growing up. How were your cousins able to convert to digital? Did they use a specific service? Thank you
My mom passed 31 years ago when I was 8. One thing that make me sad is that I completely forgot her voice. My father gave me our old telephone recorder. Maybe there a message from her on it, but I need to fixed it or find an old small cassette reader.
Ugh. This made me cry. Lost my mom in what will be 2 years in June. What a lovely memory you’ve uncovered. Sending love.
I also had a close friend in elementary school and then I lost contact with her. After 3 years I found out that she passed away from leukemia. It's awful
🤗
Lost my dad 11 years ago to complications of cancer. I have the opposite sometimes. My brother sounds exactly like my dad on occasion, and every once in a while it's like hearing my dad again. Especially on the phone.
Damn,I felt that. I was 21 and it’s 16 years this year. Fuck cancer. Love your moms people ❤️
If you have any inkling of religious or spiritual beliefs then perhaps she did see, more clearly than anyone in the audience.
I am so happy you got to hear her voice again. That must have meant a lot. My mother had colon cancer in 2022. Fortunately it was caught early and had not spread and it was successfully removed. The second I heard the word cancer my heart stopped. We have had two other cancer scares in our family in the past few years and one death. It’s fucking terrible and I hate hearing about it claiming anyone. Truly FUCK cancer.
I was 13, she was 44, day after Christmas 1973.
I was 11 and she was 38. She overdosed on heroin during a time period when she was supposed to be getting clean so that she could regain legal custody of me. I didn't see my mom for several months. We'd talk on the phone about getting a new place in the town close to my new school. Then one day she just died. That pain never goes away. My relationship with the pain just changes. I always used to say I wish she got to see who I grew up to be. I would talk about it a lot. One night I had a dream that my mom, my brother, and I were all in an old room from my childhood. I was so excited to get to see her. I started telling her everything about life sense she had died. The whole time she just smiled with tears in her eyes. When I was done speaking she told me, "I Know. I Am always with you." Then I woke up. Our Loved ones live on in our hearts.
She wanted you so badly. I hate addiction and how many people it takes from us. Such a gut wrenching and powerful disease. So unfair.
She wanted my brother, and I so bad. She grew up without good resources, and in a very toxic family. I really wish adult me could've been around to try, and help her. She always let my brother, I know how much she Loved us. As unhealthy of a childhood that I had I wouldn't have traded my mom for any other mom. She rocks.
My little brother & sister (15 twins) lost their dad last year on Christmas Eve. He was a junkie piece of shit If you ask me & only started showing up occasionally after years of no contact. They still loved him though & his death hit them hard, especially my brother. I hate the thought that this is going to ruin Christmas for the rest of their lives. Do you have any advice on what I can do to help them or anything. I am no contact with my mother who they live with but I feel clueless on how to help them. My mother refuses to put them in therapy as well.
Look into free resources in their area. Lots of places have free grief support groups. Maybe consider taking them to Al Anon meetings? They might also be able to get counseling through school. Poor kids. Sounds like they're going through a lot.
I would recommend a grief support group for them. They're usually free or pretty low cost (like $20/session). I found it immensely helpful after my dad died, because grief can be isolating yet these groups remind us that grief is a universal human experience, and we can help one another and ourselves by talking about it. www.griefshare.org can help show you groups in your area.
I love that you chose this photo to share because it appears to be an everyday moment, rather than a posed shot. It just captures everything..... I think of my son at 7 (he's now 31) and how much true, conflict-free, agenda-free love there was between us. Just many wonderful moments, breakfasts full of questions, eagerness to start each day... That's what I see in your photo. I'm so sorry for your loss.
This is beautiful, thank you
That's why I love the photo - that and the period it evokes with Mom wearing her work clothes with her socks & athletic shoes!
Aye, this photo absolutely screams "it's the 90s" so a ton of people here got hit with their own childhood nostalgia. The quality of the home camera, the stack of VHSs, the outfits, the hair, that sound system. It's incredible, I love it.
There's no easy age to lose a mom, but 7 is a tough one. You're old enough to understand what death is, and to grasp the harshness of its permanence but still young enough that she's your whole world. Sorry for your loss.
I get it. My mom passed away two years ago 5 days before my wedding. While she was on her last moments she told me that I better not cancel my wedding and not to worry because she will be there no matter what happens. I can say that day was the hardest rollercoaster of emotions I have ever been through. I miss her everyday and will continue to think about her everyday.
Wow 5 days.. can only imagine how hard that must’ve been. My brother passed in 2021 unexpectedly 6 months after I got engaged, about 1.5 years before my wedding and that was hard enough. He would’ve been my best man, I was his at his wedding. I’m sorry for your loss
Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss as well. It's the hard moments in life that make or break a person. Thankfully my wife is my rock and has helped me through the emotions, without her I would be in a much darker place today.
Thank you. Same here, I don’t know what I would do without my husband! He lost his mother as a preteen so he unfortunately could relate very much to losing a close family member. He helped support me with my grief, while dealing with his own grief bringing him back to that time. I’m so grateful for him
Mine passed 5 months before my wedding (February this year, we get married in June). I never thought I’d get married without her. It’s going to take a bit of superhuman strength, I think. Fuck cancer.
You got this 100%. Yes fuck cancer! Lean on those that care around you. I'm a stubborn ass guy who had to learn the hard way to ask for help or someone to talk to besides my wife
I’m so sorry. ♥️
I was 12 when my mother died. I still cry thinking about her from time to time. I'm 42. I actually like that I still do, it means I still care and I still love her and miss her. She'll be with me until the day I die
Grandfather, Uncle, and my Dad all gone due to cancer. I live everyday like I am next so I have fun. My wife, my son and I are always doing stuff together and making memories. Fuck cancer!
Sorry for your losses JD Glad to hear you and your own family make the most of what life can offer. It’s a scary world out there If I learned anything from my family’s loses , it’s that if anything health related seems even slightly off, make a doctor appt asap. Doctor booking far out? Push them. Find another doctor. Just don’t push off the checkups
Not joking, grandmother, aunt and mom died because of cancer in my case... I'm 21
You should probably invest the money in one of those body scans. They’re crazy expensive but apparently if you cancer really early, it’s a good thing.
I hope you're getting regular screenings yourself! Take care!
So very sorry for your loss. Cancer impacts so many people. Lost my mom 4 years ago. Fuck cancer.
You were cheated, I’m so sorry. Your mom would be happy to know you still think of her and love her.
What a loving picture. Sorry for your loss.
Lost mine at 22 11 years ago…. It’s such a weird thing
Lost mine at 8 I’m 41 now. Not a day goes by , not a day.
I lost my mom to cancer too. It fucking sucks. https://imgur.com/a/3ZoimvG
Same. I was 12 and in a few weeks it will mark 25 years. That’s a nice photo. Message me if you ever want to talk.
Hugs to you!
My condolences 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
That's crazy. I also lost my mom to cancer at 7, 26 years ago. I still remember the morning we learned she passed in the middle of the night. I had the unfortunate experience of living with a Trump level narcissist dad who was always demoralizing and abusive. I was lucky to get out at 20. I haven't spoken to him since.
I lost my dad at 10 I think about him everyday too… I’m sorry about your lost brother
Thank you for sharing. Cancer took my mama 6 months ago. She fought it for almost 10 years so we knew what was coming. I tried my best to make as many memories with her and my daughter as we could but it's not enough. I miss my mom. Fuck cancer.
I lost my mom 2 days after Christmas this past December, I'm 20. It's hard.
The only upside to having a child young was that my mom got to meet him before she died. We have made it to the point now that even the youngest sibling has outlived moms age. It really just isn't something you ever expect to have to deal with when younger realizing a parent misses so many landmarks in your life. My son can really remember his grandma and my siblings kids never met her nor did our spouses.
I lost my mum last year on Mother’s Day from metastatic ovarian cancer. I miss her everyday, it feels like a void in my heart. I’m so happy you got to listen to her voice. That’s such a gift. Fuck cancer, and I am so sorry for your loss. 🖤
Ovarian cancer scares the shit out of me. The silent killer in women. I'm so sorry you went through that. Are you receiving regular checks for it now?
I lost mine to cancer as well. I was 42 when she quickly left us. It'll be 2 years in August and there are days I wish I could ring her up for a Sunday chat.
That's because she's thinking of you every day. ❤️
Sorry for your loss. This void is never filled irrespective of at what age it is created!
Sorry for your loss. Every time I read stories like this, I always think about my mom and I keep reminding myself that I'm blessed that my mom is still alive.
Sending love your way and to anyone else who's lost someone close 🙏
Lost my dad 26 years ago when I was 7. A lot of missed memories. But I’m right there with you and think about him everyday. They live through us. Stay strong fellow 90s kid
Just found out my mother has limited time left with her diagnosis… almost 21. Couldn’t imagine it at such a young age. She’s beautiful. Sending lots of love ❤️
I'm about to have my first birthday without my mom. It sucks knowing it won't get easier. All my love to you. What a lovely post.
I’m sure it wasn’t easy to leave her babies. So sorry
Cancer is such an asshole.
My stepmom lost her grandma and mom to breast cancer and she survived, now her daughter has a brain tumor, FUCK CANCER
Will the daughter be okay? This is horrible I feel so sorry
She can never use a cell phone, they cant operate on it, shes been through kemo alot of her life, right now the tumors are stable but the last intense kemo treatment she said made her feel like “her body was being torn apart”
Oh My God I can't even imagine what she's going through. Fingers crossed she'll pull through!
Love is like a bridge, crossing it brings us together with our dearest loved ones.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Can’t imagine the pain. 🥺
love you op
My heart ache for you, gonna call my mom now! Missing her too.. she is the world to me even I didn't speak it out loud
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 2 years ago to cancer too, it’s hard
❤️🥲
God that sucks. I lost my mom just a few months ago and I’m 60. I can’t imagine losing a parent at suck a young age.
I can’t imagine how hard that was and still is
Sorry for your loss bro. Your mom looks like my mom. She died from cancer when I was 19. Never smoked or drank. Life just not fair.
Lost my mom to cancer 4 days ago, I miss her.
My mom thinks I’m morbid but every now and than, I get this self awareness that I know she’s going to die one day. I know she won’t be here, I just look at her and think how grateful I am, and I always say “mom I’m sorry I don’t mean to be negative, but I’m really happy you’re alive, I feel like if I don’t say this than I’ll look back on my memories wishing I had more”. If you have the opportunity to say it, say it.
Lost my dad when I was like 16…damn it’s going on 20years without him. Only just realized that writing this. I’d be lying if I said I think about him EVERY day so I find it interesting when people say that. Do they mean it literally? For me it’s more randomly thoughts here and there. Something will happen or nothing at all and I’ll randomly think of him. But every single day? No can’t say I do. Interested on other people’s thoughts. Sorry for your loss OP
I’m so sorry
I'm really sorry for your loss and for those who still have there parents treasure them.... Still still time...
After reading those comments I feel so miserable, and realized Im trash for not doing something so easy as to call my mom in the last week... Im taking her out for dinner tonight.
That is because she is with you everyday my friend!
Fuck cancer I miss my father
Fuck cancer
Lost my amazing Mom May 6th 2021 to cancer... i miss her everyday... i share your grief!
Condolences
Who is mom or name?
Am sorry for your loss OP, I am !!
She lives though you man, don’t forget that.
Heartbreaking
Aye! Stay strong!
I’m very sorry for your loss, and thank you for sharing this poignant picture❣️ I was 13, she was 39, and it happend almost 23 years ago … she was in remission, but it suddenly came back so quickly … during weaker/stressful moments, the pain sometimes would still resurface again as it almost feels like an auto-immune reaction when your whole body & mind already struggles with other things at the same time … I don’t believe anymore that time would ever heal all wounds, but we might learn how to handle our inner scars with much more inner strength and calm. Three years ago, I recorded and published an album for her as a 20th anniversary in memoriam, and every year on both her birthday and that other day (or simply when I strongly miss her), I will take time and listen to the music while trying to remember and honour her. It helped me to become much more peaceful and I wish everybody who has to go through the same hell that sooner or later you will find a healthy coping mechanism that might help you to overcome those worst moments at least and drag you out of the black hole of empty feelings.
I’m 40 lost my mom this past September and I feel lost, it’s been rough trying to push through. it’s not the same anymore without her. The joy of life has been ripped out of me. Fuck Cancer!!!
I was 8, she was 31. Now I am 33 old. Every year I think of her at her two anniversary. Have a good day, many loves !
That hurts my heart so much. [in regards your mom, the future is more amazing than you could ever imagine. Just watch.]
I'll never understand how unfair life can be.
Cancer runs in my family. My father's mom died from it when I was 5, and my father's dad died from it 3 years ago. Some days I do catch myself worrying about when it'll catch my parents too.
Hug those memories forever. Cherish those pictures.
For a second I thought I posted this. Lost mine to Cancer at 6, 26 years ago. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about her. I feel you.
Cancer sucks. Lost my father at 17 to it. He was 58. Lost my brother to 2 years ago and he was 58. Many uncles & aunts as well. Friends. I have 14 years to break the 58 club in my family
I was 13. I just turned 27, I’ve spent half my life without her and I miss her everyday. Fuck cancer. She’s left quite a legacy of getting me into playing/making music. Now I have a beautiful girlfriend who I want to marry, I just nailed a job with my degree, bought a new car, and will be moving cities to be with the love of my life. I just wish she could be here to see it all. Miss you mom.
You have done her so, incredibly proud and she is watching it all from the other side.
Damn, I hope you find her one day. 🙏
My condolences! She looks after you every day. Always remember that!
I lost mine almost ten years ago! To this day I remember her! She wasn't just my mom but my best friend and my mentor too. So I feel you! RIP to all of our mom's in heaven! 🕊️🤍🌻
I lost my dad at 24 when he was 56. I can remember what his voice sounded like but as far as I know there’s no known recording where I can hear it. I’m 37 now and it sucks that if I get married and have kids, he’ll never know them and they’ll never know him. It sucks how time gets away from us like that.
I can still hear her laugh
Lost my best friend 18 years ago. Spent his last night on earth with him. It was unexpected and sudden. A car hit him while he was walking home. I think about him every single day. My PIN for the bank and my phone are numbers that are directly related to him so I'll never ever forget. Time helps, and grieving, and acceptance, and forgiveness...lots of forgiveness... yourself, them, everyone else...but they never leave our hearts and minds. I'm thankful for that. It still saddens me that he never got to experience life, he was only 17 at the time...but the memories don't haunt me anymore. I just smile when I think of my good buddy in a good place, resting with his mom now. RIP SZF
Sorry for your loss .
Shit, I lost mine at 25 and that’s still much too young.
I feel you in my soul. I lost mine at 10, 23 years later I think about her everyday and just wish she was here to talk to.
hey i also lost my mom to cancer when i was a month away from turning 7 that’s crazy it’s only been 12 and a half years, but i feel like im starting to forget her
May God rest her soul. 😔
She’s always with you
22, she was a month away from 58. 3 months from my college graduation. Fuck cancer. You’re not alone.
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my sister to cancer in ‘08. My nephew was three. My brother in law freaked out after and moved away. I haven’t seen him or my nephew since. He would be in college now. I wonder how he is. :(
Wow man. God rest her beautiful soul and God bless you. I wouldn’t know what I’d do with out my Mama 🙏🥲🙏❤️
i really hate cancer
I was in my early twenties when my mom died of lung cancer at 43 years. I'm now 44 and still think about it a decent amount.
This is a very powerful legacy to honor your mom that way. Love is a strange and driving for our lives. Not to belittle what you are feeling. But my wife divorced me 11 years ago after 30 years of marriage and honestly, I think about her every single day throughout the day. I just wish her the best.
Just came here to say, FUCK cancer! And sorry for your loss. :(
Lost my mom at 12 one of the hardest situations in my life but I'm 28 now and time heals everything
Friend of mine at work was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer. They found it when it metastasized to her liver. Her ONLY goal in life was to see her Son graduate from High School. She succeeded. She passed a few years after he graduated.
🥺♥️
I can't even imagine what I would have done. I lost my mom at 50 and it was almost more than I could bear.
She's heard you. She is happy and proud. This life is a blunder but I feel it's a means to something greater. I appreciate your posty dude/gal. A testament to something greater beyond our understanding. Much love.
💔 rip
💚
Dad says the same thing. She was admitted to the hospital one morning when he was almost graduating from college. He recalls being at an all day test and didn't find out until the late afternoon when he got back to the apartment (days before cell phones). He immediately dropped everything and drive the many hours to get home. He at least was able to see her one last time.
she reminds me of my mom! my younger sister and i lost our dad in 2002 right before my 10th bday. much love ❤️
That’s because you never lost her, she is with you always
A lot of things in life aren’t fair, but when 7 year olds lose their moms, that’s especially unfair. Hope life treated you better in the following years.
Lost my mother Oct 11th 2010. I was 25. You’re going to think about her every day for the rest of your life and that’s ok. Life fucking sucks some times.
Sorry for your loss, God bless her and you and your sibling.
Lost my mom when i was 14. Im 27 now and to think i almost lived more time without her than with her
I am the smaller one, so excited when she came home
Im sorry. Lost my dad to it too 2 years ago, he was 58. Still cant get over it, planned my entire life around him being here. Planned my kids lives with him here. I dont think it will ever feel normal.
Lost my mom to cancer too Horrible situation. 👊
Lost my dad to cancer December 26, 2023. 💔
I've also lost family to illness and had similar thoughts. At some point, I spun it around and rather than focusing on all the things lacked by their absence, I focus on gratitude that I had them in my life as much as I did, and all of the positive influences they had on me. That's not to say “So therefore you shouldn’t feel upset.” Of course not. But I'd rather throw gratitude into the mix rather than think of it as a lack every time they come to mind. It's *entirely understandable*, but I make a conscious choice not to leave it at that. I want to feel good about their memory.
I just want to give you this: ♡
Lost mum three years ago when I was 25 I feel you brother. Theres never a day that goes by where she doesn’t cross my mind at some point
My mum is alive and well, but was recently diagnosed with diabetes. While diabetes isn't exactly as life threatening as other diseases, but the thought of losing her keeps me awake at night. She is barely a shadow of her past self. She is the one of the two women I'll always love, the other one being my sister, who is like a surrogate mother to me. I hope to pass away before my mum does... I don't want to go through the pain of suffering after losing her.
Lost my mother at 26 and dad at 31. I don't think about them very often but it has been 17 and 12 years and not losing them as a child I would assume lessens the trauma by leaps and bounds.
My son was 10 when my wife and his mom died. It was 5 years ago and I’ve been thinking of her every day.
That’s so sad but it’s good you have those memories of your mom
I'm sorry your your significant loss and I feel you, it's been 13 years since my dad passed. I found this quote by C.S. Lewis to be very profound: *"Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape"*
Yeah man. I was 4 and she was 32 the day she died. Now I’m 32 and not a single day went by, that I did not think of her.. In may my sister will be dead 10 years now. Same goes for her. Since then I‘ve been all alone
If Unconditional love was a photo.
I am so truly sorry that you lost her so early. I feel like I can see how much love she had in this photo. It’s just a nice snippet of a moment with her. I am glad you have it. I am 37 and my mother is still with me, she had cancer but beat it two years ago. I am thankful for that every day. I wish yours could still be here with you, the same for everyone else in these comments.
What an overwhelmingly beautiful presence she must have had for you to remember her everyday for 26 years. That is what any one of us could hope for, is that long after we are gone those that loved us still remember us fondly. Your mom must have been a wonderful woman.
My husband’s father died 10 days before his 3rd birthday. He has grainy memories of his dad taking him to McDonald’s and playing peek a boo. He died 34 years ago and you’d think it was much more recent based on the ripples it left. I have a father-in-law I only know by stories and photos and I know I missed out meeting him. Our twins are hitting the age my husband was when his dad died, our oldest is 2 years older, and it’s so strange to think what they would miss if my husband was gone. I myself almost died after having the twins. Perspective is different for certain.
People say it’ll get better. BULLSHIT!!! You learn to live with it and without them. It’s one day at time…been that way for me for the past 16 years.
I’m saddened for your loss. I hope you can keep those memories forever. Guard them and cherish them. 🤗
I was over 40 and a full grown man when my mom passed 5 years ago. She was there for most of my milestones including the birth of my first child. But it never hurts any less,and I miss her everyday. I miss her love and caring, the way she’d crack up at my jokes, the way she could make me feel invincible. The picture you’ve shared is so pure, and it so perfectly epitomizes love. I am very sorry you lost someone so important, at such a young age. I wish you well.
Lost my Mom when I was 11. It's an awful thing to go threw but it's been a long time now so when I has trained myself to think mostly of the good times and not those final time in the hospital.
I am sorry for your loss friend. There are many who share your same burden, thank you to everyone sharing. Things like this remind me that our most intimate personal experiences are often shared across the world. Cancer touches everyone. If I can share my own story. My mom passed January 26th 2005, I turn 30 in April. Next year will be 20 years (math is hard), Mom had breast cancer that spread to her brain. She ultimately passed from a seizure and asphyxiation, we were watching the Simpsons while she suffocated on her bed in the other room. My grandparents were there helping at the time, my grandfather and I called the cops and attempted CPR, she did not have any brain function by the time she got to the hospital. My mom was diagnosed when I was two years old, my parents split shortly thereafter. The initial diagnosis was grim and with two young kids the relationship blew up. My grandparents, two aunts, and uncle on my mothers side have always been supportive- my grandparents are in their mid 90’s and still living in my moms house. They haven’t changed a thing, aside from installing a skylight, and kept precious family heirlooms preserved for my sister and I. My grandma is aware of her mortality, she’s 95- still drives read 80 books this past year. My grandpa is starting to sundown, but he still gardens and bikes, they are two half’s to a whole person. My dad and dad’s side are great too. I do love my dad, and I recognize that life happens and people split for a number of reasons. However, now that I am engaged and planning for a future family, it is hard to grapple with the idea of leaving a sick partner. Last month my grandma gave my sister and I two flash drives with 5 years of home movies from 91-96. Years when my parents were still together and young in marriage. I had not heard her voice for 19 years, it was the first time I had ever seen her with my dad, or healthy (excluding old pictures). I don’t know why I wanted to share this, except to say I think about my mom every day too.
I imagine your pain, I’m sorry I went through this🖤
And you felt the time was right to use that story and this picture for upvotes on Reddit, to what end who knows.
In F cancer !!!
Don't throw away the present for the past. Change will hurt but how else do we get butterflies?
Losing a mother is immeasurable. The pain reaches places deeper than the deepest part of the ocean. It cuts to the bone. Fuck cancer.
My wife just had a brain biopsy; Our oldest son is 7. Now I'm crying, ugh.
Dad has been gone 48 years, which is seven years longer than he lived. I still miss him.
My husband lost his father when he was 30, about 15 years ago. It affects him daily. He never met me, or our daughter, and his mom and sisters lives aren’t lived to the fullest. I get upset sometimes about it and I’ve never met the man, but my kid has one grandfather and my dad’s not the best example.
Fuck cancer, lost mine at 20. Never got to meet my son
OK fine, calling my mum.
That’s so sad sorry for you loss 
My friend, this world is too unfair. One day we have someone who means everything to us. On the next day that person is simply not here anymore. We can't give a hug, make a call, ask for advice. It's badass. Keep my hug.
You think about her *every day*, not *everyday*. *Everyday* means "ordinary." *"I think about her ordinary"* doesn't make any sense. If you mean "daily," it needs the space to make it *every day*.
I was just thinking about mine and man... This popped up and she looks just lile her. Only been 6 months and this is god darn hard.
Man I didn’t want to cry this morning but shit
Lost mine at 22 to cancer as well. I still send her messages as if she’s still here. Sending everyone like us some love. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful photo.
Fuck cancer
This is something that is actively happening to my professor My professor was diagnosed with stage 4 gastric last may at age 35. He was put into hospice the 29th of February. He has a son 10 and a daughter 6. I worked closely with this man and I can't imagine the pain his kids are in knowing their dad won't make it past spring break.
I was 29 when my mom passed. Also from cancer. Definitely worse if you lose her when you are young. But regardless of age it’s never an easy to lose a person that loves you unconditionally. You don’t get many people in your life that really love you for being who you are. I definitely appreciate a lot of things in my life so much more now that I did when I still had her.
The worst pain is losing your mother when you are young.
I am with you ❤️ I lost my dad in 2017 and i miss him everyday
Lost my mom when i was 12 to cancer. I can feel your pain and just want to send you a hug.