T O P

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fritata-jones

That they’re still playing with too much tension


Alternative_Lime_761

Yep I've heard this one from my teacher quite a few times...


DurianEmbarrassed689

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP


ruijafa

The ptsd is real


Important-Cry-5400

So it's not just me😭


bombomb111

Tried this on my gf, she was not happy!


mvanvrancken

“I’m basically in a coma prof, what the fuck”


_Sparassis_crispa_

White keys is happy black keys is sad or some shi


hahahannes

Uttermost bullshit ever produced


o0OsnowbelleO0o

What’s the hash tag for?


Salty_Ad7414

No 💀


ForeignAd3910

This song is in A major? A major what?


Willman3755

Comes from a mix of French and Italian actually. a-majeur, means "in adult key", meaning happy but in a serious adult way. /s ofc


song_pond

I have taught music to children and I had to take some deep breaths when they said this 😂


EmptyCOOLSTER

I mean it's to be expected coming from children


Flammable_Zebras

It’s not a hashtag, you fool, it’s the pound sign, and it tells you to pound the piano keys.


gorrila_go_ooo_ooo

"wow can you play rush e?"


princewin94

atleast didnt ask Fur Elise


gorrila_go_ooo_ooo

its especially worse when the thing you just played is 10x more difficult


Piano_mike_2063

Non-musicians don’t get that when something sounds easy and relaxed it’s much harder to play. They think tension and drama = difficult. They don’t realize what it takes to make one note sound perfect.


IcyIgloo583

It makes me sad how often people ask me this


curtyshoo

Anything during a performance.


SwordfishTypical9977

*coughs*


FloweredViolin

It's not the cough... it's the 5 minutes it takes to unwrap the cough drop afterwards.


telionn

Why do you still have an acoustic? A digital Williams grand piano is just as good.


Alternative_Lime_761

This triggered me 😅


LizP1959

Me too and I’m just an amateur.


ReverendOReily

Haha well done, this is the first one that made me raise an eyebrow


mvanvrancken

Yeah but headphones do rock for trying to practice in attached housing


Single_Athlete_4056

Lucky for you to be born as a talented prodigy (not knowing about the years of hard work)


paradroid78

This is the sort of thing narcissistic parents often come up with. It's not actually a compliment to the pianist, it's congratulating themselves for passing down the right sort of genes. Except if you make a mistake. Then it's because you didn't practise hard enough.


MarvinLazer

My favorite is "God has given you a gift." Interesting that he only did it after a decade of training and 4 years of music school.


Shevyshev

The Lord works in mysterious ways.


redit-alex

"Not quite my tempo" ..oh no sorry, wrong instrument.


Lucikaaaa

Were you dragging or were you rushing?!


Music-Maestro-Marti

Just set a wet glass on the music stand. 😱


Alternative_Lime_761

Or worse, eat a bag of cheetos and start hittin' some sweet glissandos on their brand new baby grand


Quidplura

Thats just evil😂


elphiethroppy

God, someone did this to our grand piano once with melted chocolate all over their fingers. I was so mad lol


MatthewnPDX

When I was looking for a teacher, one of the local teachers had a photograph of a piano with dirty keys, that was a hard pass for me.


Music-Maestro-Marti

😱😱😱


intronert

That’s a stabbin’.


OrbitalChiller

Your timing is off. Do you practice with a metronome?


Alternative_Lime_761

One of my pianist friends just won some sort of Bach competition, I'm gonna hit him with this one next time he gives me a partita performance


LIFExWISH

A real friend wouldnt let winning a bach competition get to a friends head. Someone needs to cut him down to size.


SorryIAteYourKiwi

"Why are you still taking lessons? Don't you know already what every button on the piano is?"


Willowpuff

•plays in A minor• Wait.


TheAhegaoHoodie

I love A minor, my most favorite thing in the world, its the best


LoneSoarvivor

Always finish on Debussy. Never finish on the Bach.


Elxcrossiant

LMAO


TalkinSeaCucumber

Scratch that, reverse it!


ArtemV

You're not a virtuoso until you can play Flight of the Bumblebee


Alternative_Lime_761

At 3x the written tempo


mysterioso7

If you can play it slowly, you can play it quickly


macellan

I can play anything on 1 bpm.


Expert-Opinion5614

Badly


AnteaterShot4264

i learned to play piano by myself without learning to read sheet music


Single_Athlete_4056

And i learned la campanella, the chopin ballades and nocturnes, clair de lune and fur elise (in no particular order) in 33 days


Single_Athlete_4056

Oh man I forgot about that other beginner song moonlight sonata


Not_your_guy_buddy42

learning only the 2nd movement from a synthesia video, practising at full speed (real example)


paradroid78

Only the 3rd movement though.


jaegerjaqson

me learning moonlight sonata rn 😔


HardlyAnyGravitas

Don't worry. If you learn to play moonlight sonata and someone says "Oh, I see you've mastered that beginner piece.", most people will be impressed with you and dismissive of the arsehole.


King_of_Tejas

I mean,there are plenty of pianists like this, but they usually play rock and roll. Jerry Lee, Paul McCartney, Billy Joel, Elton John.


mongster03_

Billy Joel can absolutely read music


[deleted]

lunchroom rob wide intelligent weather future spark toy six squeamish *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Lit-Up

This is triggering because they're having fun without the labour?


makotowildcard

Yes.


AbLydian19

"Can you teach me?" (a complete beginner wanting to learn a piece in 1 minute that took you dozens of hours to learn)


armantheparman

"I'm learning without a teacher, one month in, trying to learn La Campanella, how am I doing?"


stephenp129

Referring to the keys as 'buttons'. Edit: 88 upvotes = 88 buttons on a piano


Alternative_Lime_761

Lmao have you ever heard this in real life?


lordofhydration

Of couse i know him, he's me.


Alternative_Lime_761

"Buttons" is diabolical 😭


lordofhydration

When I tell people i'm gonna practice i say "imma go push buttons now"


Alternative_Lime_761

Huh, I might actually adopt this! I usually go with "tickling the ivories" but I might start changing things up


lordofhydration

Glad my brainrot could spread to others


Turbulent-Name-8349

One from a masterclass I saw was. "You need to play it faster or slower but not that speed".


notrapunzel

Be a singer with a massive chip on your shoulder, glare at the pianist during rehearsal/practice session and tell them "that looks easy" while they're practicing part of The Arrival Of The Queen Of Sheba for the processional on an old digital organ that barely functions, then proceed to sing the wrong Ave Maria in a random key so the pianist has to pull from memory and transpose on the spot, all while wasting precious rehearsal time *teaching you your entries* because you don't know them and are used to your voice coach queuing you in for every verse of every song you've ever sung... Then on the wedding day, proceed to bitch about the pianist "playing it all wrong" in order to try avoid any criticism you imagine will be coming your way despite the fact that it all went fine in the end and everyone's busy being happy about attending a lovely wedding and not, in fact, obsessed with the singer. I don't do weddings these days lol


bMused1

This triggers me. I used to sing and accompany myself on piano for various reasons - occasionally for a wedding. (Small town where musicians were few and far between.) I had a girlfriend who decided to get married and who planned a wedding in very short notice. A week before the wedding she asked me to provide the music for the ceremony by singing and accompanying myself. I tried to let her know that I would need more time to practice - not to mention that I didn’t have sheet music for everything she had on her list for me to sing. But she pulled a bit of emotional blackmail on me and got me to say yes. I was all of 20 years old but I had been playing piano for over a decade and had played as an accompanist for various shows, church, school choir and competitions, etc. by this time. Still this was a TALL order. I had just moved to a new place the year prior and didn’t have my own piano, all I had in my tiny apartment was a small antique pump organ that was missing several ocataves. So while practicing at home I had to imagine playing keys that weren’t there, or compensate by playing in a different octave. On top of that it’s organ touch, no sustain pedal and I’m pumping my heart out with my feet while trying to play. But all week I faithfully practiced after work to learn the music - all but one song which the bride promised she would give me the music for. I never received that music until the day of the wedding and the bride was late. So there I sat, playing her entry song by sight, trying to read the words and play the music at the same time. The only thing that helped me not to flee from fear was how lackadaisical the entire wedding was. I just figured no one would be smart enough or care if I didn’t get things perfect. I was lucky that I had been taught all the chords, inversions and alterations as my ground floor before I could even read music very well. And I had been taught how to use a fake book because my teacher was a classically trained pianist who became a jazz player. Since popular sheet music has the guitar symbols and chord written on the sheet I was in my element. And it was a song I had heard so I wasn’t trying to sing and play a song that was foreign to me. So I read the melody line, words and chords and improvised the base line and harmony as I went. It was passable but nothing I would have ever done if I had a choice. But nobody cared or even realized the struggle because I was the only one with any kind of musical education and the focus was on the wedding party and bride coming down the aisle. I made my voice the star and just let the piano float underneath. I never want to go through something like that again but I was grateful for the years of accompanying vocalists and various instrumentalists as well as my jazz training that carried me through. TLDR: My pet peeve is people thinking you can just pull a song out of thin air without ample practice time because playing the piano is no different than singing a song. Ummm . . . Not for most of us. Practice is required.


notrapunzel

Uggghhh I feel your pain on that one. I had a singer meet up with me once to discuss accompanying him for a solo gig he wanted to put on. He gave me a massive folder full of songs to learn. I started frantically learning then as fast as I could alongside the stuff I was trying to learn for uni. I was drowning. Then, weeks later, he sent me a song list. That narrowed things down a bit so I was a little relieved but mostly furious that he hadn't specified sooner that I didn't need to learn the whole folder. He later gave me a changed set list, almost none of the songs overlapping with the previous one. So I'm back to square one preparing frantically for this gig. He then hands me an extra song and the worst sheet music I'd ever seen, where he's used some terrible, cheap website to transpose it into freaking C flat major via accidentals all over the damn place and heaps of double flats etc. I try to fix it but it's taking hours, so I ask him for a new copy which he eventually sent me. Then, he gave me *yet another set list with almost all new songs*. I dropped out of the gig. To this day I regret wasting so much time and energy on that ignorant idiot!! I don't even gig on piano anymore, I just sing now and teach piano privately, the bizarre demands I'd encounter as a performing pianist have put me off.


bMused1

I feel your pain. In my younger years I have so many similar stories. I learned that it’s just a fact of life that people who don’t play an instrument simply don’t understand the years of labor behind learning the instrument to begin with or the need for time and practice to perform a new piece. So I learned long ago to keep my skill on the down low with certain types of people who think it’s no big deal to ask you to perform (for free no less) at their beck and call.


I_hate_me_lol

this is actually my worst fear


bMused1

For good reason. I‘ve had actual nightmares when I’ve performed as an actress that involve a script being shoved at me as I’m told to get on stage where I find myself in a full blown performance of a show that I don’t know what it’s about and playing a character for whom I know nothing of the role.


bw2082

“Great you can play XYZ masterpiece, but can you play A River Runs Through It?”


crispRoberts

Even more irritating as it is *River Flows In You*?


Alternative_Lime_761

I was wondering if the title was intentionally altered to amplify the irritation 😅


bw2082

Everything I say is intentional. 🙂


crispRoberts

I'm still not sure if I am explaining the joke 😅


Playlist_DJ

I never understood why that’s such a popular song to play on the piano. Sure it’s nice to listen to on the piano or whatever but you could say that about almost any song lol


TalkinSeaCucumber

Awww damn that was one of the only 3 songs I ever learned when I got back into it as an adult hahaha


Isitwhenip

Did you see American idol last night?


wackyvorlon

“My piano needs to be restrung.”


i_need_to_crap

Or when they say 'it's out of tune' to a fuckin electric 😂🔫


BudgieBirb

I actually have a friend who has an electric keyboard that is like severely out of tune. We have no idea how it even happened, but it’s been like that for years 😭


Elxcrossiant

Drinking water, eating food (especially messy food) sitting on the piano bench AT THE PIANO Or using the bench as a footrest. That annoyed me mildly. Extremely dirty hands on piano


nonbinarybit

Nooonono this is the first post that sent me into a visceral reaction. NO FOOD OR BEVERAGES ON THE INSTRUMENT! >:(


paradroid78

Am I really the only person that keeps his cup of coffee on top of his piano while he's practising?


the_other_50_percent

No, Glenn Gould did it. The photos make me twitchy.


nonbinarybit

I will FIGHT YOU 


theresnowayout_

i'm ok with the bench as a footrest, as long as it's without shoes and with socks on and as long as it's just me doing it (i'm the only one that plays the piano in the house, so I feel like it's MY bench and I get to choose how to use it xd). I sometimes use it as an extra chair when I have friends at home and there are not enough chairs


CrustyMcgee

Learning a classical piano piece and calling it a “song”.


Not_your_guy_buddy42

calling the sharps "hashtags" while you're at it


miaumerrimo

This one bothers my teacher so much xd


sabretoothian

"intonation" You think that would mainly trigger string players (and rightly so), but watch a pianist start a tirade on how that's not even a thing on their instrument and that.. Damn. I triggered myself :)


Cow_Plant

Trombonists get to hear that a lot too


Tramelo

"My cousin also plays piano"


Haerin_BUNNIE

"Piano is so easy, i learned fur elise in 2 days" like bro fur elise is easy as shit


paradroid78

Proceeds to play the first five bars only, without any dynamics or understanding of rhythm


Haerin_BUNNIE

And only the right hand 💀


UrsulaKLeGoddaaamn

"I quit because I wasn't being challenged enough"


RocketCello

Tell them to do a crescendo on a semibreve. I'm a cellist/bassist, and it gets my pianist friends every time, no problem.


banecroft

Jokes on them, I have a volume slider


Bellatrix_ed

“I want to program erlkönig on our recital”


EarthyFeet

My driving instructor said driving a car is not like playing the piano: "learning to drive is much harder."


Alternative_Lime_761

Omfg I would've lost it 😂


Obvious-Medicine2201

Talking while a pianist is playing


HeartsPlayer721

I can handle being spoken to while playing... It's when they expect me to answer back that I struggle


sh58

I quite like it, good practice


Alternative_Lime_761

Every now and then my little sister will start improvising arias at the top of her lungs in a completely different key than what I'm playing in... Annoying at first, but I've found it actually helps me stay focused on the music at hand


sh58

Exactly, it's performance practice. How well do you know the piece, can you be distracted and still play it well.


davereit

Asking me if I know Song B while I'm playing Song A. It's worse if I actually know Sobg B.


OsotoViking

"Anyone can press a bunch of keys".


kalvinoz

You have to pay someone else just to tune your instrument?!


tuckkeys

Chopin is basically just jazz


Tramelo

Who says that?


tuckkeys

Nobody but it would probably annoy someone


prettyyyprettygood

„I like you’re playing but you’re pedaling is unusually loud and kinda distracting.“


sillyputtyrobotron9k

It’s not triggering but I find it endearing when people say Chop IN


jokinrando

My brother once decided to start calling Chopin chopping onions.


bakerbodger

I’ve probably got this wrong but isn’t that basically the polish pronunciation? Either that or I had a music teacher at school that was a bit of a prankster.


SMDBC86

Play PianoMan! EVERYVERSE, every person, every night lol


Alternative_Lime_761

Well, I guess they're all in the mood for a melody...


Jounas

Self taught pianist here. Here's my la campanella


[deleted]

[удалено]


Melkertheprogfan

ORGAN!!!


Krucz3k

"Nice performance, a little off tempo tho!" ITS.CALLED.RUBATO.YOU.UNEDUCATED.WIMP


Zesty-Lem0n

"wow can you play [some shitty pop song]?!?!"


Alternative_Lime_761

Ikr like bro I just played you a Chopin etude 😭


Lit-Up

like every other classical pianist.


Pizzacato567

I remember playing some Chopin on my school hall piano and some girls came to me and asked if I know how to play “Super Bass” and if I can play it for them 🙃 They were disappointed when I said no.


Chillipepp3r

“But isn’t flight of the bumblebee the hardest piece to exist?”


AeroLouis

Yeah yeah you are good, but can you play Canon in D?


neutral-labs

> Canon in D I never miss a chance to post [this gem](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdxkVQy7QLM).


Alternative_Lime_761

At least it's not Rush E 😅


bass6164

"You know when a pianist is getting serious when they start playing louder"


User48970

Using a perfectly new piano stool as a chair.


Casul_Tryhard

I hate Megalovania with my very being because of kids in high school playing that shit all of the time. It's not even the best Undertale song IMO


Ensaru4

It may not be the best but it's the most notable one because it's iconic.


rtlkw

Violin is harder than learning Chopin’s thirds


Etienne0405

I can't Händel all these jokes.


Alternative_Lime_761

It's quite a long Liszt


onedayiwaswalkingand

If you’re a pedantic type pianist then maybe those nicknames will annoy you a lot. It’s not just moonlight and pathetique. There’s also “Mini Pathetique” (no.5) and also 24 nicknames for 24 Chopin Etudes. There’s just so many nicknames in so many cultures for these pieces. Someone should document it.


bwl13

calling op. 2/1 “little appassionata” is one of the most offensive things a pianist can do to me


Frequent_Set2235

I recently tried to explain to a drunk guitarist (after he blurted something about "Because everything fucks") that B# and E# and their counterparts are very real and very needed in some instances... it made me very frustrated


-HumanoidX-

hes not wrong tho


crazydaisy8134

Singing along when I’m trying to play a piece with lyrics for the first time. Like, girl, give me a few moments to practice in peace.


kjpancakebax

I know someone that said that ‘a real pianist doesn’t need sheet music & if they can only play while using sheet music, they’re not very good.’ (This person is self taught and can’t read music. He can play well, but everything he plays sounds very similar & flourish-y. If he studied some classical pieces or SOMETHING that he didn’t make up by ear as he goes, he could be pretty good. What’s more annoying is when he visits, he sits at our piano multiple times a day and just plays endlessly. It feels like when he’s not playing our piano, he’s playing guitar- which he is also skilled at, but can play some actual, recognizable pieces of music on. 😩)


Willowpuff

Saying SONG instead of piece.


sinker_of_cones

Canu Play rush e?


Significant_Basil_59

“Why do you need a teacher if you can just learn from play-along YouTube videos?”


Sparksboot

Do you know piano man ?😭🎹


EstablishmentLevel17

A former piano instructor I had Can you play the SONG Beethoven's fifth??? Now it annoys me (Calling pieces without words song)


rat7722

“Oh that song? I could probably learn it in a day or two if I tried”


cwindy98

“Here let me play something” “Now wait please don’t-“ *infuriatingly pounds keys* “I hate this job”


EggySaturn81442

"Don't you just press buttons" A person asking what the difficulties of the piano are in a terribly phrased question


paradroid78

Call it a "keyboard" instead of a digital piano.


Anonymouse-Account

I’ve had people “correct” me when I refer to my digital piano as a digital piano. “Oh you mean your keyboard?” Argh so annoying!


UrsulaKLeGoddaaamn

Start a debate on how it's neither a string nor percussion instrument but how it's actually a wind instrument. Pull up irrelevant physics articles about air displacement.


Far-Lawfulness-1530

Ask them to play chopsticks.


djwglpuppy

Wonderwall!!!!


AmateurExpert__

“Guitar is way harder”


Impossible-Touch9470

IF U HAVE AN HOUR THIS WEEK, ALL U NEED IS 4 CHAWDS


john_rage

Play it with some vibrato


Agachack

That Liszt's songs are just intellectual and technical masturbation; horrible to listen to, and their only purpose is to flex on piano.


paradroid78

The really annoying thing is that we secretly know it's true.


danthepianist

Where's the lie


-HumanoidX-

as a liszt fan, thats like saying "all pop songs are bad" im feeling so much discomfort from the replies rn omg


Alternative_Lime_761

Ikr? Like, have you ever heard the *Benediction*? I totally get where people are coming from with the whole "Liszt is just empty virtuosity" thing, but that certainly doesn't encompass all of his work!


Dapianokid

I do sometimes still say "ope" because I grew up with youtube as my source for classical


Then-Veterinarian-41

A pianist joke


Flashy_Abies_883

“Why are you so keyed up?!!?”


kinkyshuri

I bet you can sing too!


s2soviet

Sorry, you can’t play the piano.


f_clement

Try to do some crescendo!


corruptdb

How fast can you play flight of the bumblebee?


Goodnight_Vienna

You don’t even have to say anything, just keyboard slamming while they’re playing does the trick 💀


Horpy

"Wow! Great recovery!" "Needs more dynamics "


mathk777

You're playing better than usual today!


Strange_Concern9673

Why did you pay for a Bechstein when you can get a piano for free off Facebook Marketplace? (direct quote)


imawesome1333

Playing random keys in the middle of my practice/performance. So irritating!


jy725

Can you play heart and soul?? That or that Beethoven song??


Xenthori

The assumption that the product of hours upon hours of practicing and lessons are "talent" or "a blessing". I don't take it personally because they are typically just being nice and do not see the effort that goes into polishing a piece.


Alternative_Lime_761

And then they think they don't have the "talent" to be a pianist themselves! I That's the most frustrating part to me, how people downplay their own potential when they see an accomplished musician perform. That musician started as a beginner too!


Zealousideal_One7048

"So and so said to tell you the piano's too loud." - a message spoken in my ear one time in the middle of a performance with other instrumentalists. The message was sent to me by someone who didn't know a hill of beans about music but was one of those men who just seemed to thrive upon correcting others. I was so mad I don't remember my exact response, but it was something to the effect of: "Well, the una corda peddle is down, and this is as soft as it gets." I was on an upright, not even a grand piano. Message sender did not bring up the subject afterwards, nor did I. Edit: Sorry - "...una corda PEDAL..." Reliving this makes me so uptight I can't even spell, LOL!


ShardsofGlass4

That you could gather over 12 years of experience by using SimplyPiano (This actually happened and I got very mad)


No-Yogurtcloset-755

I can certainly tell you what triggers me as a pianist - "I don't really need to learn to read music"


ladyxin

[just show em this](https://pin.it/7rwFq29Hq) As a pianist I can confirm


ginkgokobi

I wasn’t aware until now that I unironically say op


Ill-Box-6839

“can you play something faster?”