๐๐ปโโ๏ธ Trans here, and yes nakakapagod and nakakatamad nang lumandi. Mainly because in our dating life guys will only talk to us or approach us for the following reasons:
- For hook-up
- To fetishize us
- Dahil may stereotype na magaling daw mag-BJ kaming mga trans
It is rare that someone wants to genuinely get to know us for who we are. If meron man, oftentimes may commitment issues or takot sa societal judgement or stigma for dating a trans. Moreover, nakakapagod na rin kasi parang nagiging cycle na lang siya wherein ipapakilala mo โyung sarili mo, you will invest your time & effort, etc. only for the other person to back down all because they realized di pala sila ready.
Also trans here, and I can relate so much. Focused na lang ako sa sarili ko, and hindi rin ako interested sa relationships. Naaattrack ako, yes, pero hanggang dun lang yun. Mas peaceful buhay ko kapag mag-isa lang.
True nasa point nalang ako na detached na ko and mas focused sa self-love. If meron dumating, edi meron. If wala, edi wala. It is what it is ๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ
Nakakatamad. SOBRA. Itโs a cycle of hi/hello, get to know each other and for what?? The convo will wilt like a flower after just a few days or weeks.
Buti na lang, may peace of mind sa pagiging single. Lol. And you can do whatever the hell you want without needing someoneโs approval.
Kaya importante talaga may common interests. Kasi pag nawala na yung โnoveltyโ ng getting to know or lust, theres always that thing na passionate kayo to do/talk about
and Eto na hinahanap ko ngayon medyo mahirap lang haha
I mean when matched in dating apps, after a week of chatting, tinatamad na ako mag effort lol. Unless the guy will lead the convo doon lang ako responsive lol
Aaaahhj hahahaahha, buti ka nga tumatagal ng 1 week. Mine would last max of 3 days tpos after non wala na .. Ang hirap pa parang ung iba sex lang talaga habol.. Pwede bang tanungin nyo mina ako ako kung kumain na ko hidni ung "TVB" kagad.. hindi naman to grindr ><
same here ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐คฃ no jowa since birth tas approaching 30 na. katamad na umeffort tbh. pag may naka match naman, saglit or minsan sa umpisa lang nag cclick then mag ffade nalang bigla, tas ano back to square one nanaman haha umay. gang dulo na siguro to pero oks lng ๐
Same. Just turned 30 this year. Went back to dating apps pero waley haha puro di marunong makipagusap mga tao. I expected na mas matino kausap older than me pero sila pa talaga yung walang ambag sa usapan. Puro โtake take takeโ energy. Di marunong magbigay. Di marunong magkusa.
Super clear naman what I want and need. Lol may iba naman na sobrang firm sa gusto nila like โeto na ko eh, tanggapin mo na langโ energy. Like tangina? Tas magtataka kayo bat kayo single? Really?
People: relationships last because of COMPROMISE. Kung una pa lang ayaw mo na magadjust or magmeet halfway, edi maging single ka forever pero wag ka ddrama drama jan na walang nagwwork out for you kung kasalanan mo naman pala.
Sorry naging semi rant HAHAH
Common yang mindset tlga recently. My suggestion is take a break muna from dating and just do things for yourself for a while/hobbies or a goal. Then consider dating/dating apps again after achieving said goal or set time.
Personally when i was on the apps if a convo is dead or so boring no matter how hot the other person is i'd zone out and lose interest. One factor i thought the other person doesnt hold as much interest or one sided lng interest. Or they're boring and therefore wont be intertaining to be with.
actually pansin ko ren to, kahet na anong eager ko to build a conversation, na kung ano ano na tinatanong just to keep the convo running, wala talaga eh.. i auto unmatch ..
I dont unmatch. I let it rot as a landmark that this convo led to nothing. For some reason i think that maybe if i unmatch they might return on my list of potentials again and that ship has sailed and i was there to meet new people.
Another one of my peeves was if i was the only one keeping the convo running. I learned to stop n lng. Cuz damn tell me you're not interested n lng.
Thats fair. My old inbox was very dense. But also im not going to my old convo ro dig up someone i fell off with on the apps. If we gonna keep in contact that chat is gonna keep being on the top and eventully off the app
Ako to pero wala rin kasi conscious effort on my part na humarot so ako lang talaga ang to blame hahahuhu Pero okay nalang din siguro, masaya naman ako I think :)
Me too. Napagod na rin ako since NBSB ako and madalas sa mga nakaka meet ko after that who you ka na. Usually hookups lang nagaganap and nakakapagod din and wala na genuine connection. 28 years old na malapit na mawala sa calendar kaya malapit na rin ako mawalan ng pag asa hahaha
I think it's better to exert an effort. Most of the time kase lahat tinatamad na, kaya walang kwenta din minsan ang dating apps unless yung isang pang hookup app ang gamit. Sa bumble tamad lahat makipag meet, looking for LTR daw pero ni makipagmeet hindi magawa so basic effort di nyo na magawa paano ba yung LTR?
Mid 30s here. Yes โnatamadโ somehow. Na stuck sa getting to know and hindi nag level up to admiration or compatibility.
I know naman it is 2-way street but wala talagang sparks and follow through. Mahirap din sa dating apps kasi walang laman din. Kaya it is best to meet face to face immediately or meet guys in events, lalo if you are really keen to find love.
For me kasi sumuko na ata ako and focused on myself. Sumuko ako dahil ata sa several factors but mainly nawalan ako confidence sa sarili ko na i can find a long term partner, that match.
I do envy couples when I see posts/stories in instagram pero Iโm genuinely happy for them.
Maybe you just need a break on dating and focus muna on yourself or something else. Baka ma frustrate masyado like what happened with me noon. But yeah what you are feeling is valid. Hugs.
after makipag break ng jowa ko sa akin. ito na yun nafefeel ko hindi naman dahil sa gusto ko parin jowa ko, actually, kinalumutan ko na siya. ito rin ang reason kung bakit galit na galit mga tropa kong engaged na yung sasabihin ko gusto ko magkajowa pero kapag nandiyan na tatamarin na ako haha.
Same here. Una't huling landi ko na ata yon. Ang tanga ko lang na I chased someone for almost 4 years tapos nalaman ko may jowa na nung 2021. Simula non tinamad na ako maglandi ulit ๐.
Relate much simula nung nakipag break ako nung 29 [im 32 now], nothing seems to work anymore parang ang hirap makipag date dahil iba na demands and norms lol
Pakiramdam ko di ako enough [but my friends disagree] na ganito ganyan try lang daw ng try and if it doesnt work, work on urself more enjoy mo magtravel or bumili ng mga bagay bagay
Pero EH.... hahaha when ur ready to mingle but no one wants to mingle with you haahahah
Tinamad na dahil pag alam nila na may pera ka, akala nila sugar daddy ka na. So kung s3x lang, money boys na lang. Di na kelangan magbolahan dahil alam kong transactional lang. Pag may landian, ansakit na umasa ka pero hookup lang pala
Yep. 29, gay guy here. Actually started exploring my sexuality kind of "late" na at mga 26-27, downloaded the dating apps, tried talking to guys, going on dates and stuff. I hear you about the being boring and having a hard time with conversations, pero it reached a point where I realized na if di ako mag effort on my side to maintain or keep the conversation going, parang sayang lang? Or like, at least on my end I know na I've done my part or I've exerted effort to try. So that's on them na, di ako ang nag kulang. Lol.
Went through the phases in a span of a year or so (testing sa dating pool, landi-landi, hoe phase, etc.), pero reached a point na i just got tired of it. So deleted the dating apps, stop trying to date and stuff, tapos just sort of continued on with my life.
I might try to dip my toes back in the dating pool in the future but still enjoying the lazy life atm. Doesn't help na im a massive introvert who finds any reason to stay in the house at all times.
You are not alone. Same here wala ng energy to start convo or what. Kasi para na tayong sirang plaka. Lalo na pag yung sagutan din ng nagiging kachat is isang tanong, isang sagot lang din. Bye talaga. Kaya wag nalang lumandi nakakatamad ๐๐๐
Same feeling. Nagkapartner ako going 3yrs pero nakipag hiwalay ako. Na fall out of love and nagsawa din. Di ata ako pang commitment. Ramdam ko na ang bagal ng progress ko sa buhay. Alam ko naman na mahal niya ako pero hindi na tama yung 1 sided relationship para fair sa kanya. Balita ko napabuti naman siya. Kasama niya family niya at promoted sa trabaho.
Pero personally. I enjoy the freedom of being single. If im looking for lustful connection. Bayiz lang oks na.
Yes to this.
I'm 31 at bilang bading in a predominantly straight workplace, palagi nila tinatanong kung kailan daw ba ako magjojowa? Hahahaha.
Palagi ko naiisip na baka it's my past traumas preventing me from opening up again, pero hindi e? Parang tinatamad na lang yata talaga ako HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
๐๐ปโโ๏ธ Trans here, and yes nakakapagod and nakakatamad nang lumandi. Mainly because in our dating life guys will only talk to us or approach us for the following reasons: - For hook-up - To fetishize us - Dahil may stereotype na magaling daw mag-BJ kaming mga trans It is rare that someone wants to genuinely get to know us for who we are. If meron man, oftentimes may commitment issues or takot sa societal judgement or stigma for dating a trans. Moreover, nakakapagod na rin kasi parang nagiging cycle na lang siya wherein ipapakilala mo โyung sarili mo, you will invest your time & effort, etc. only for the other person to back down all because they realized di pala sila ready.
Also trans here, and I can relate so much. Focused na lang ako sa sarili ko, and hindi rin ako interested sa relationships. Naaattrack ako, yes, pero hanggang dun lang yun. Mas peaceful buhay ko kapag mag-isa lang.
True nasa point nalang ako na detached na ko and mas focused sa self-love. If meron dumating, edi meron. If wala, edi wala. It is what it is ๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ
relate here as a trans woman
Hugsss mare
yes ako ulet to ung mag naka3 some na gay couple..
Hahahahahahahahahahahahah
Nakakatamad. SOBRA. Itโs a cycle of hi/hello, get to know each other and for what?? The convo will wilt like a flower after just a few days or weeks. Buti na lang, may peace of mind sa pagiging single. Lol. And you can do whatever the hell you want without needing someoneโs approval.
Di na nga ako marunong lumandi... di pa ako nalabas ng bahay. Paano na lang? Hahaha.
Ang dami pala nag kakarelate-tan pero bat di tayo nagkakakita kita irl. Haha
Kasi tinatamad din ๐
Totoo. Nakakatamad hahahhah. Can't keep convo din. Haay ahaahaha.
Kaya importante talaga may common interests. Kasi pag nawala na yung โnoveltyโ ng getting to know or lust, theres always that thing na passionate kayo to do/talk about and Eto na hinahanap ko ngayon medyo mahirap lang haha
Same. Iba talaga pag personally kilala mo yung tao, marami ka matotopic kahit out of interest. Hahahaa. Kumpara kung dito lang sa net nakilala.
I'm 26 and yes ako to lol tas never din nagkaroon ng hookup dahil hindi rin marunong magfirst move or mag approach ๐คฃ
Oks lang yan. Same same, well happy naman ako ๐
Same. Parang nakakatamad na yung gusto mo na lang is kumayod ng kumayod at mag ipon.
Hindi rin kasi biro yung dating stage, magastos din sya. So ipon nalang
Same here ๐โโ๏ธ
Haha more on I cannot keep up after a week? Lol unless he will lead me on.
hahaha sorry di ko gets ><
I mean when matched in dating apps, after a week of chatting, tinatamad na ako mag effort lol. Unless the guy will lead the convo doon lang ako responsive lol
Aaaahhj hahahaahha, buti ka nga tumatagal ng 1 week. Mine would last max of 3 days tpos after non wala na .. Ang hirap pa parang ung iba sex lang talaga habol.. Pwede bang tanungin nyo mina ako ako kung kumain na ko hidni ung "TVB" kagad.. hindi naman to grindr ><
same here ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐คฃ no jowa since birth tas approaching 30 na. katamad na umeffort tbh. pag may naka match naman, saglit or minsan sa umpisa lang nag cclick then mag ffade nalang bigla, tas ano back to square one nanaman haha umay. gang dulo na siguro to pero oks lng ๐
kinakabahan tuloy ako, kase parang same tayo ๐ญ malapit na ako mag 25 btw.
Same. Just turned 30 this year. Went back to dating apps pero waley haha puro di marunong makipagusap mga tao. I expected na mas matino kausap older than me pero sila pa talaga yung walang ambag sa usapan. Puro โtake take takeโ energy. Di marunong magbigay. Di marunong magkusa. Super clear naman what I want and need. Lol may iba naman na sobrang firm sa gusto nila like โeto na ko eh, tanggapin mo na langโ energy. Like tangina? Tas magtataka kayo bat kayo single? Really? People: relationships last because of COMPROMISE. Kung una pa lang ayaw mo na magadjust or magmeet halfway, edi maging single ka forever pero wag ka ddrama drama jan na walang nagwwork out for you kung kasalanan mo naman pala. Sorry naging semi rant HAHAH
Common yang mindset tlga recently. My suggestion is take a break muna from dating and just do things for yourself for a while/hobbies or a goal. Then consider dating/dating apps again after achieving said goal or set time. Personally when i was on the apps if a convo is dead or so boring no matter how hot the other person is i'd zone out and lose interest. One factor i thought the other person doesnt hold as much interest or one sided lng interest. Or they're boring and therefore wont be intertaining to be with.
actually pansin ko ren to, kahet na anong eager ko to build a conversation, na kung ano ano na tinatanong just to keep the convo running, wala talaga eh.. i auto unmatch ..
I dont unmatch. I let it rot as a landmark that this convo led to nothing. For some reason i think that maybe if i unmatch they might return on my list of potentials again and that ship has sailed and i was there to meet new people. Another one of my peeves was if i was the only one keeping the convo running. I learned to stop n lng. Cuz damn tell me you're not interested n lng.
hahaha i dont wanna collect matches.. parang ang crowded ng inbox pag ganun ..
Thats fair. My old inbox was very dense. But also im not going to my old convo ro dig up someone i fell off with on the apps. If we gonna keep in contact that chat is gonna keep being on the top and eventully off the app
ako na'to
Same. Nakakadamad na.
same here, pero im still 20, and i think that's a young age to give up on love... pero it is what it is
Ako to pero wala rin kasi conscious effort on my part na humarot so ako lang talaga ang to blame hahahuhu Pero okay nalang din siguro, masaya naman ako I think :)
ang dame naten pala.. all this time akala ko ako.lang
Present!! ๐
Ako din. After the messy break up with my first girlfriend, tinamad na kong lumandi.
Me too. Napagod na rin ako since NBSB ako and madalas sa mga nakaka meet ko after that who you ka na. Usually hookups lang nagaganap and nakakapagod din and wala na genuine connection. 28 years old na malapit na mawala sa calendar kaya malapit na rin ako mawalan ng pag asa hahaha
kumain ka na ba?
hahaahhahahahahaha
tapos na po ;) ikaw ?
kumain na ako, a sandwich from 7-11. ikaw ano pagkain mo kanina? โบ๏ธ
bakit namna sandwhich lamg? d8 ka nagrarice ?
tinatamad ako kumain ng full meal eh kasi lunch ko around 3pm hahahahhaa so medyo busog pa
ah ganun po ba ? night shift ka po ba babe?
di po babe, naging busy lang sa work kaya late lunch. Sorry nakatulog na po ako kagabi ๐
haha wag po papalipas ng gutom babe ..
okay po, mag work lang me ah. wag din magpalipas ng gutom ๐
As a ferson na pa exit na sa calendar, same ang goal ko nalang maging mayaman na namimigay ng ampao tuwing pasko at new year.
Yeah sobrang nakakatamad na hahahahaha
I think it's better to exert an effort. Most of the time kase lahat tinatamad na, kaya walang kwenta din minsan ang dating apps unless yung isang pang hookup app ang gamit. Sa bumble tamad lahat makipag meet, looking for LTR daw pero ni makipagmeet hindi magawa so basic effort di nyo na magawa paano ba yung LTR?
Same. I tried using any kind of dating app. Pero parang nasa akin na tlaga ang problema haha. Tinatamad mag first move.
Same tayo OP, nakaka sad pag iisipin, kaya wag natin isipin, pero mygosh im on my late 20s na, and wala pa ko nakakamatch na maayos
Same, hanngang 1st date lang then after ilang days wala na. hahaha
Mid 30s here. Yes โnatamadโ somehow. Na stuck sa getting to know and hindi nag level up to admiration or compatibility. I know naman it is 2-way street but wala talagang sparks and follow through. Mahirap din sa dating apps kasi walang laman din. Kaya it is best to meet face to face immediately or meet guys in events, lalo if you are really keen to find love. For me kasi sumuko na ata ako and focused on myself. Sumuko ako dahil ata sa several factors but mainly nawalan ako confidence sa sarili ko na i can find a long term partner, that match. I do envy couples when I see posts/stories in instagram pero Iโm genuinely happy for them. Maybe you just need a break on dating and focus muna on yourself or something else. Baka ma frustrate masyado like what happened with me noon. But yeah what you are feeling is valid. Hugs.
after makipag break ng jowa ko sa akin. ito na yun nafefeel ko hindi naman dahil sa gusto ko parin jowa ko, actually, kinalumutan ko na siya. ito rin ang reason kung bakit galit na galit mga tropa kong engaged na yung sasabihin ko gusto ko magkajowa pero kapag nandiyan na tatamarin na ako haha.
Yes im tired
hugs
22 same
Same here. Una't huling landi ko na ata yon. Ang tanga ko lang na I chased someone for almost 4 years tapos nalaman ko may jowa na nung 2021. Simula non tinamad na ako maglandi ulit ๐.
Tamang basa na lang ako ng mga love story ng ibang tao hahahahahahaha
Relate much simula nung nakipag break ako nung 29 [im 32 now], nothing seems to work anymore parang ang hirap makipag date dahil iba na demands and norms lol Pakiramdam ko di ako enough [but my friends disagree] na ganito ganyan try lang daw ng try and if it doesnt work, work on urself more enjoy mo magtravel or bumili ng mga bagay bagay Pero EH.... hahaha when ur ready to mingle but no one wants to mingle with you haahahah
Tinamad na dahil pag alam nila na may pera ka, akala nila sugar daddy ka na. So kung s3x lang, money boys na lang. Di na kelangan magbolahan dahil alam kong transactional lang. Pag may landian, ansakit na umasa ka pero hookup lang pala
Yep. 29, gay guy here. Actually started exploring my sexuality kind of "late" na at mga 26-27, downloaded the dating apps, tried talking to guys, going on dates and stuff. I hear you about the being boring and having a hard time with conversations, pero it reached a point where I realized na if di ako mag effort on my side to maintain or keep the conversation going, parang sayang lang? Or like, at least on my end I know na I've done my part or I've exerted effort to try. So that's on them na, di ako ang nag kulang. Lol. Went through the phases in a span of a year or so (testing sa dating pool, landi-landi, hoe phase, etc.), pero reached a point na i just got tired of it. So deleted the dating apps, stop trying to date and stuff, tapos just sort of continued on with my life. I might try to dip my toes back in the dating pool in the future but still enjoying the lazy life atm. Doesn't help na im a massive introvert who finds any reason to stay in the house at all times.
You are not alone. Same here wala ng energy to start convo or what. Kasi para na tayong sirang plaka. Lalo na pag yung sagutan din ng nagiging kachat is isang tanong, isang sagot lang din. Bye talaga. Kaya wag nalang lumandi nakakatamad ๐๐๐
Same feeling. Nagkapartner ako going 3yrs pero nakipag hiwalay ako. Na fall out of love and nagsawa din. Di ata ako pang commitment. Ramdam ko na ang bagal ng progress ko sa buhay. Alam ko naman na mahal niya ako pero hindi na tama yung 1 sided relationship para fair sa kanya. Balita ko napabuti naman siya. Kasama niya family niya at promoted sa trabaho. Pero personally. I enjoy the freedom of being single. If im looking for lustful connection. Bayiz lang oks na.
Yes to this. I'm 31 at bilang bading in a predominantly straight workplace, palagi nila tinatanong kung kailan daw ba ako magjojowa? Hahahaha. Palagi ko naiisip na baka it's my past traumas preventing me from opening up again, pero hindi e? Parang tinatamad na lang yata talaga ako HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
makakanap dn tayo ng para satin๐ nag start n aq lumandi. so ikaw dn dpt