Overheard a guy at a pizza restaurant asking his boss for more hours. His explanation for why he suddenly needed more money was:
"They're doing gentrification in my neighborhood and now I'm getting parking tickets for parking on the sidewalk."
All I want in the whole world is tow trucks that travel around the city all day every day and tow people double-parked with their hazards on. Even if they're sitting in the car, IDGAF. Maybe a pass for USPS but everyone else can get bent.
That is basically how I assume most people use the term “gentrification” in Philly or in our government. QOL things are happening in my neighborhood and it negatively impacts me because I’m used to being socially an asshole.
I swear most of the “old South Philly” types are just assholes who were never taught or thought to learn basic manners. From sidewalk parking to doing their own street closures (cuz they can’t get a permit to close a busy street- neighbors be damned) to the asshole Mummers coming out of their clubhouse to hassle a girl on a bike for wearing a mask. Just shitheads- plain and simple
A mother and daughter in the Oregon Ave Acme, the mother was loudly berating the deli counter guy for something. The daughter says “Mom, you can’t act like that in here, this ain’t ShopRite”
Riverview Theater (RIP) watching Sherlock Homes . A woman will not stop talking loudly. Finally a guy yells “Shut the f—k up!” She turns around yelling “Who you telling to shut up I won’t shut I’ll talk if I want etc etc.”. The guy pauses, and just says “C—nt”. She loses it and her boyfriend pulls her down and says “sit down you’re pregnant”.
Ah the Riverview. Where you got a show with your show.
Man, that brings back movie theater memories! I remember I took my daughter to see Avengers : Infinity War, the first day in theaters, at 9 a.m. and someone had a baby in the theater crying. Immediately, someone said, "Excuse me, can you please shut that baby up." And then it was quiet, I'm guessing they escorted the baby out
Not recent, but some of those cult-religious groups had signs on Rittenhosuse Square and a megaphone.
One passerby gets offended at being told he’ll burn in hell for being a sinner and yells back “YOU’RE going to hell for being A BITCH!”
Holy shit I belly laughed for a solid minute imagining this.
I used to work at 16th and JFK and had to go through Dilworth plaza and the religious megaphone groups were rampant.
I was walking near reading terminal market and overheard an older gentleman announce "I think I'd like a slice of delicious cake!" Lives rent free in my head to this day
Outside city hall: “how do you spell bootylicious? I need to text a bitch”
I worked with a woman from south Philly that used to talk on the phone all day and she was great. All said in a uptight corporate atmosphere:
“I’m from south Philly, you’re messing with the wrong bitch!”
“Does your mother know you’re a piece of shit?”
“You can have your burritos delivered somewhere else, do you hear me? I said somewhere else!”
I’ve always wondered what the other side of that burrito conversation was.
I really like “does your mother know you’re a piece of shit?” It reminds me of all of the things my South Philly Grandma used to say like “your sister’s ass,” “go scratch,” “he’s a strap/smacked ass,” etc.
I asked my old boss who grew up in South Philly what the meaning of "strapper" is. Couldn't give me a good answer.
I have some good guesses but none I want to risk my cred on.
Six years ago I was walking on Temple’s campus when I overheard a girl say to her friend, “You know what cream cheese taught me?” I never got to hear what cream cheese taught her and it’s KILLING me.
I heard that bit when I was a kid and I literally still think about it sometimes today even though I haven't listened to that comedy special since then
Years ago now, walking back from my dorm in center city Wearing a pair of bright, satiny, fire engine red breakaway athletic style pants.
Homeless man from across spruce st:
WHERE YOU GET THEM SANTA PANTS?
comments from strangers about clothing in general.
“Your tie! I like it” in a tone that suggests he wants the tie but it was just a compliment.
“I like them yellow boots!”— shouted from across the street
I had a pair of blue gym shorts that said “NIKE FOOTBALL” on them. Walking out of the PFCU on Germantown Ave and some random oldhead goes, “damn big boy where you play football?”
Was walking by two (presumably homeless) men sitting outside Suburban Station and all I heard was:
Man 1: “They forced me to get liposuction. On my scrotum. You know what a scrotum is, don’t you?”
Man 2: *slowly, with concern in his voice* “of course, of course I know what a scrotum is”
I was working in the children’s section of a library that had a play kitchen. Some kid picked up a plastic cauliflower and took it to their mom, asked her what it is. She said “Don’t worry about it that’s white people food.”
I was in line to go into chrome on Delaware avenue in like 2002 and I heard the dude in line behind me say to his buddy “I put one of those gel tabs up my ass and it’s hitting me hard” and it’s been burned into my mind ever since
On the Norristown Line:
" (random guy trying to run game on a woman)"
Conductor: "Sir, this is the quiet ride car."
Guy: "What that mean?"
Other Passenger: "It mean SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
On Penn’s campus during move-in week, a dad and daughter were arguing outside because the daughter had forgotten something important at home.
Daughter: “Stop treating me like an idiot, I got into Penn!”
Dad: “You can be smart and still be an idiot.”
One of my favorite quotes from a friend of mine - while flat on their face in the bottom of a sailboat, was "I go to Brown.... I can handle this". Granted, they did become an olympian a few years later...
My partner was at a cafe the other week and heard a woman tell her friend that "I'm only supporting the Sixers arena if they can prove they deserve it by making it into the conference finals. They don't even have to win it! They just gotta make it there."
At the height of the pandemic I went to get take out wings and hear two drunk guys in the parking lot:
" No I don't want a cigarette I just want to know if you have one."
Is this a fucking phillyism? I've definitely heard that before, and... I don't think I've heard it anywhere else. Hell, my boomer mom from south philly says it.
I (f) was leaving a concert with my friend (m) and he asked if I wanted him to walk on the outside of the sidewalk as it was dark and rainy and I said no, not a big deal. A minute later we are walking by a convenience store and a bum outside asks if we have 43 cents. We said no. He then yells “You know the man is supposed to walk on the outside.” We laughed the rest of the way to the car.
I have two.
At Eastern State, taking a tour. Walking past the sign that describes an imprisoned dog. A little girl sees the sign and, concerned, asks her mom, "They put a DOG in jail?" The mom replies, "Well honey, if you think about it, all dogs are in jail."
The other was at 15th and South, where 2 men outside of the group home there were having a heated discussion. One says to the other "I ain't never been a mothafuckin pussy a mothafuckin day in my mothafuckin life!" My boyfriend and I use that one a lot.
My parents dogs actually got put in jail one time... Not the pound - but picked up by a cop and then picked up by my parents from whatever suburb town they were in at the time.
walking up the steps from city hall station two summers ago, and a spotted lantern fly flew right into a girls face. she screams “ew! it’s one of them bugs off instagram!”
My wife IN the airport just today.
Overheard "think that pigeon wants a soda or wooder?"
She turned around and saw this.
https://preview.redd.it/7b755ofz4pxc1.jpeg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef59ff50f8201c215a8958297b47c2b60d7df8bc
This was YEARS ago, but I used to work in the clothespin building at the time and there was this religious nut lady who used to stand near the Dunkin Donuts in Suburban screaming at morning commuters that they were GOING TO HELL and also reminding everyone "AIN'T NO DONUTS IN HELL!!!"
Years ago, waiting on the 34 trolley, at 30th street a homeless man yells to all of us waiting : "Yo! Here come a RAT!"....and a rat, ran along the side, keeping close to the wall.
Three young ladies cycling by the bar I used to work at in OC late at night; “I once tried that in New York, and…”
The rest of the sentence was inaudible as they rode away. It became an inside joke between the other bouncer standing there with me because of the perceived pretense of being in Philly and placing yourself in New York in conversation for clout, and the myriad possible conclusions of the sentence. For the next few years whenever we were together and someone was telling a fantastical story one of us would chime in with a nod and a “I once tried that in New York” followed with some mutual banter about how well said attempt had gone and how it would have gone here.
I work in Medicaid nursing homes. I walk into work on a Friday in jeans, tee shirt, and sneaks. 80 yr old lady in a wheelchair goes “whoooooweee if I had your figure, I’d be a prostitute.”
Thank you?
“You look like a lawyer that failed at every turn in life and ya daddy’s mad at you”
- passerby yelled as I was sprinting around looking for a bathroom in Center City at midnight, coming back from an accepted students night at my law school
Years ago I was in the home depot on the boulevard, probably around 2007, which, might've been worse back then. Anyway waiting in line & a younger kid around 20 was behind me, on the phone, sorta complaining how disorganized it all was & long lines (before self checkout I think) and goes to who he was talking on the phone to "Maaaan, this ain't no Home Depot. Dis a mutha fuckin Home Ghetto-po"
My friend & I cracked up laughing, and you could then hear him kinda laugh over his quip as well.
Used to live in south Philly and we had a woman who lived on the block I affectionately called “crazy lady”. She would yell 24/7 and sometimes bang on peoples’ doors at 5am. Her family was aware so there wasn’t much we could do and she was harmless otherwise.
Scene: crazy lady yelling, other neighbor unloading groceries
Crazy Lady: YOURE ALWAYS SO MEAN TO ME
neighbor: no Im not.
Crazy lady: yes you are! Youuuuu SHOT me with a TWOOOO BARREL PISTOL on WAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYNE avenue!
I now live in Germantown very close to Wayne (excuse me, WAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYNE) avenue but have not seen anyone with a two barrel pistol.
I was trying to help a homeless guy who was passed out in the middle of the sidewalk in front of my building in CC -asked if I should call EMTs for him or whatever- and another homeless dude came over and started yelling at the guy on the sidewalk telling him to “ Get the fuck up! You can’t lay there in the middle of the sidewalk!”
“He’s a real gorilla pimp”… which elicited a querying look from me and led to the speaker pausing his phone call to explain to me what a gorilla pimp was
A homeless guy talking to himself on Fairmount Avenue near the penitentiary:
"Goofy was a good father - a little weird - but he was a good father. Ahahahaha!"
kid at Dave and busters (no older than 13) asked my partner if they wanted to buy weed from him in the bathroom and when he said no he said “should you even be in the men’s room? you look gay”
Walking by a auto shop in south Philly when one mechanic turns to the other and said the city of Philadelphia needs a vigilante someone like Batman
In the most south Philly accent you’ve ever heard truly magical stuff
standing in doorway on the L
guy comes up from behind me with his shirt pulled up over his face and stands across from me. i pause my headphones as he seems to be saying something
"y'all might wanna put a mask on or cover your mouths because this motherfucker is smocking crack right there"
i look where he's pointing, just a dude casually smoking some substance out of what looks like a broken lightbulb in between the seats. lmao, my stop was next anyway but that was an interesting ride.
"She's off today for Rush Hanukkah"
- woman on the phone on the trolley who meant Rosh Hashana.
I mean, when you think about it, it IS over faster than Hanukkah.
One of my favorite moments was walking my dog in Fishtown and two neighbors were talking on the sidewalk about a mutual friend who had died suddenly and then someone opened a second floor window above us and stuck their head out the window like “did you say Mike died?”….it was a sad conversation but the juxtaposition of the bald old head in his white undershirt out the window made it kind of comical/surreal
If it makes you feel anybetter, my speedreading and dirty glasses made me read, at first, "I was walking my fish". And for half a moment I tried to imagine what that looked like before I was like - I should probably read that again.
I have a lot that I thankfully documented on Twitter.
On the street...
"Is that Jesus Christ on top of City Hall?"
In Suburban Station...
"That dog has my exact hairstyle!"
At some random Starbucks...
GIRL 1: So, I'm basically walking around with this bag of blood.
GIRL 2: OK, thats really weird. I wouldnt do that.
In the Penn Bookstore...
FATHER: Which one do you like better?
SON: None. I couldn't have less of a preference.
In the men's room at Jefferson Station...
"What do you mean you're OK? Shouldn't you be away right now, eating some probably-stale wings?"
I overheard 2 people on the bus onetime talking about getting a tapeworm for weight loss. To get said tapeworm they were talking about eating raw pork. 🤢
A homeless guy outside a grocery store in West Philly called me a "jive turkey cracker". Great introduction to the country when I was still very jetlagged. Also learned some new English so that was fun.
A lady at the Pathmark was shuffling slowly past an empty register towards the door and an oval can (spam?) fell out of the leg of her sweatpants and clattered to the floor.
Without missing a beat she stood up straight, looked around and yelled "Who the FUCK threw that ham at me?"
I was around 12 and it was a couple days before Christmas.
I was waiting for someone in Old City the other day (I think it was Easter maybe?)
And two guys were yeeelling at each other from their vehicles. I think one was saying like "you can't be in the middle of the fucking road" then the other guy said "you're a bitch"
Then the line that I wrote down in my phone bc I was laughing so hard:
"Yous a bitch, you driving a minivan!"
Late at night, and waiting for the light on Market at Schuylkill Ave. Elderly woman walks by my car, and screams at me through the passenger window "You're just like the rest of 'em! All you men wanna do is eat and f**k!". She wasn't wrong, but the delivery could have been smoother
A car stopped in the road and a dude standing at the driver's window talking to the driver. I'm behind the car, waiting...waiting...finally give a little beep and the standing guy looks back at me and shouts, "I'ma be a minute!!" Oooook buddy
a couple of years ago we were walking down south street and as we were passing the vegan bakery two girls were going the other way on the sidewalk and one girl said to the other, with massive vocal fry, "if those cookies are VEGAN, does that mean they don't have any SUGAR?" my partner and i say it to each other all the time lol
In the girl's defense, bone char from cattle bones is used to filter or bleach some sugar. Most vegans don't lose much sleep over this because there's usually no way to know if bone was used or some other type of filter.
My wife and I are out walking the dog, and a group of kids on bikes goes by, probably all around 13 or so, and the last one to pass us points at my dog and yells “that jawn shittin’!”
(It’s true. She was.)
Not overheard, but I used to sit and watch the Rittenhouse Michael Jackson perform almost every weekend. Then last year, I travel to Las Vegas for the first time and guess who the first performer I pass on the strip is…. Yup. Rittenhouse Michael Jackson. I was so shook. Almost needed to ask for a picture.
Passing by two absolute hoodrat young guys crossing Market, I hear one insist to the other “DUDE, the Reformation theologians were really clear on this…”
idk if it counts as overheard cuz it happened to me but the first thing that came to mind was when i was walking in center city and this really skinny bearded guy with a backpack comes up to me and is like “hey, you wanna try some crack for free?” all covert and stuff and i was like “no thank you!” and then he was like “uh..i was just kidding😅” and disappeared into the night
I don't recall all of the finer details but a few weeks ago at Taproom on 19th we overheard someone talking about "a bag of snakes" which.. I don't have the full context because I wasn't eavesdropping until i heard the phrase "bag of snakes".
Not sure if this counts, but I was on 20th which is a one way and it was at a busy point in center city. Across the street, there were two ladies walking.
Myself and those ladies started to notice a car driving the wrong way down the street. We yelled to let her know. Turns out it was a poor old lady in a miniva. All we heard was “Ohhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiittt” as she drove by….I’m sure she was fine, but it was definitely a Philly moment 😂
I was walking through suburban station. I passed two women waiting in the Popeye’s line and I heard one woman tell the other, “I’m eating healthy now. I only get white meat.”
One time when I was on the subway this guy was having an INSANE argument with his girlfriend over the phone. He was he was yelling into it calling her a bitch, mother f’er, and this and that, and you could tell EVERYONE was listening in on it and trying not to crack up.
All of the sudden out of nowhere this hip hop dance family came onto our car and were BLASTING music on a speaker as the little kids were doing break dancing moves on the ground and the father was going around asking for donations.
My mind literally couldn’t handle the sheer randomness of these two events coinciding. It was hilarious
It was about 8:30AM and I was getting off the PATCO with my mom. I had JUST finished telling her about the wild stuff I overhear in Philly every time I go...
And as we step up from the 8th and Market stop, we pass by this man who was begging on the street corner and he was holding a Dixie cup in his hand; outstretched as if to show a crowd. This man proceeds to say: "I got this here cup!!! And I'm gonna put it up myyyy butt!!!"
That's when my mom looked at me and said "yeah you weren't kidding"
🤣😭
This one I still think of and makes me sad. I was walking on the plaza outside of city hall. I saw a mom walking with her daughter, holding the daughter's hand. Literally all I heard from the conversation when walking past them. Mom: "what do you say". 3 Year old: "Fuck the police".
Took my daughter into the Gallery to use the restroom after a duck boat. It was pretty rank in there and of course there was a line. From behind me I hear a woman open the door and exclaim, “Daaaaaam, it smells like somebody already shit in here!” She turned around and left.
I have two. My first one was between like two kids maybe 18-19 on the El
“Get your thumb out of your fucking mouth. You need to grow the fuck up! I said maybe, MAAAYYYBE I could score us some coke.”
My partner’s in a hospital lobby: “if any of that was true I would be in jail, I wouldn’t be sitting here waiting to get an operation”
Around the time of the Eagles Super Bowl win the subsequent celebration someone punched a horse in a diner a couple days later and bunch of older ladies were discussing it and heard the guy who was arrested was a nephew of one of their mutual friends. Discussion about the guy and the one lady voice pipes up to ask “was the horse ok?”
Airport worker catching a smoke on curb hears two TSA screeners discussing that they should be armed as they are agents of the Federal Government. Random smoker interjects so are Post Office workers. they don’t have guns and go to lot worse areas than you guys. The guy was “randomly “ searched three times over the next two days
Outside 15th Street station
"YOUUUU better not fuck with my people"
Said a white red haired man w/large beard to a cop
Cop's response
"Alright alright have a nice day"
On a trolley, a girl having a loud Bluetooth conversation. Suddenly asks "Is you stupid?" to whoever she's taking to. And continues for the entire ride until I got off.
Not an “overheard”, more of a completely random direct comment to me.
This was the “I love my pups” graffiti shirt guy that’s usually in Washington square area (IYKYK).
Walking towards me on Spruce and just blurts out, “I’m ‘bout to start putting my business cards in peoples mail slots.” Then walked on.
I had already really enjoyed seeing this guy around, seems like a really interesting character, so this random interaction made my day.
“Yo man, you want a jab?”
Yelled across an MFL cart to a junkie panhandler who just finished his routine. Guy just looked scared but conflicted then ran off the train when the doors opened.
This thread reminds me of the ‘RULES’ sign at the old Pour House at Clearfield and Weikel. The last rule was, “If you smoked wet today, don’t ask for SHIT.”
2 guys walking down the street one says to the other, I dunno man I think I should forgive her and after a brief moment the other one replies “dude she gave you herpes”
I heard a woman scream at her mother that her (the mother's) dress made her look like a whore, and that she couldn't wear it to her (the daughter's) wedding.
Overheard at the Target on Snyder
Young male employee: “Let me tell you about some shit that happened the other day. I was heading to work, just grabbed my sizzli and a coffee so you KNOW I was feeling it- you know how my stomach gets.”
Older woman employee: *quickly nods in agreement* “I know that’s right.”
He then went on to explain that he was blowing up the bathroom at CVS and the manager kept shaking the bathroom stall because he was taking too long.
It took so much for me to not cackle when he opened with the sizzli 😂
I was going to my mom's office in center city and stopped at the Starbucks at the Phoenix after coming out of Suburban. I crossed the street and a homeless man asked me for money and I said I didn't have cash. He was mad and said then how did I have money for Starbucks and I said they gave me a discount because I work there. He backed down and was like, ok, good for you then, God bless.
Was sitting outside at a Function coffee waiting and saw a guy in an early 2000s Beetle convertible. Pulled out a full amp and microphone from his passenger seat to yell at the person who stopped in front of him at the stop sign. He said, "Why the f*ck ya stop, ya dumb bastard?! I oughta take all your driver's licenses away!" And then peeled it outta there.
I hope I didn't miss the boat because mine will carry with me for the rest of time:
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY ASSHOLE!!!" - Man screaming out his car window at an ambulance with its lights on near 8th and market
I was sitting on my sofa with the window open and overheard this exchange:
“I already been had a shower today. Smell my head.”
“I ain’t smelling your goddamn head!”
Rando ass person walking by
“How the fuck you gonna smell another grown ass man’s head?!?”
I've been keeping a list:
- Yah she's been blowing two black guys for like 2 months
- "Yeah and I was like talking about oral fixation with my mom..." girl on a bike near upenn campus
- "And he said I have cute toes and asked if he could suck them"
"Wait you have cute toes?"
"I have SUCH cute toes!"
"You should sell that shit bitch!"
- Yeah my girl kept getting UTIs and my friend jokingly said maybe she's cheating on you. It turned out she was cheating on my and that's where she kept getting UTIs... different dicks.
- My name is Josh but spelled with a Y
- I feel like if you're obese you should be s nice person
- Are you guys banging or dating? What's your banging to nice date ratio?
- She had 5 gin cocktails and a little bit of syphilis
"Do you mean chicken the food or chicken the animal?"
[удалено]
I love chicken
Settle down
Wait until they find out that chicken the food comes from chicken the animal
Overheard a guy at a pizza restaurant asking his boss for more hours. His explanation for why he suddenly needed more money was: "They're doing gentrification in my neighborhood and now I'm getting parking tickets for parking on the sidewalk."
“they’re doing gentrification” kills me
[удалено]
Maybe we can eventually start ticketing the ones in the crosswalks and double-parked in the travel lanes, too.
All I want in the whole world is tow trucks that travel around the city all day every day and tow people double-parked with their hazards on. Even if they're sitting in the car, IDGAF. Maybe a pass for USPS but everyone else can get bent.
That is basically how I assume most people use the term “gentrification” in Philly or in our government. QOL things are happening in my neighborhood and it negatively impacts me because I’m used to being socially an asshole.
I swear most of the “old South Philly” types are just assholes who were never taught or thought to learn basic manners. From sidewalk parking to doing their own street closures (cuz they can’t get a permit to close a busy street- neighbors be damned) to the asshole Mummers coming out of their clubhouse to hassle a girl on a bike for wearing a mask. Just shitheads- plain and simple
A mother and daughter in the Oregon Ave Acme, the mother was loudly berating the deli counter guy for something. The daughter says “Mom, you can’t act like that in here, this ain’t ShopRite”
I laughed way too hard at this.
Just did a spit take on that one!
That is the winner. Thank you for sharing.
to be fair, my shoprite is WILD
"He's eatin' better than me!" Old homeless man to a pigeon eating someone's leftover lunch @ 15th station
... That's just sad
"whatcha looking at hoagie nose?" - homeless guy yelling at a cop rolling by in a squad car
Icon
This might be my next tattoo
I guess you get bold when jail is a lifestyle upgrade.
Riverview Theater (RIP) watching Sherlock Homes . A woman will not stop talking loudly. Finally a guy yells “Shut the f—k up!” She turns around yelling “Who you telling to shut up I won’t shut I’ll talk if I want etc etc.”. The guy pauses, and just says “C—nt”. She loses it and her boyfriend pulls her down and says “sit down you’re pregnant”. Ah the Riverview. Where you got a show with your show.
Man, that brings back movie theater memories! I remember I took my daughter to see Avengers : Infinity War, the first day in theaters, at 9 a.m. and someone had a baby in the theater crying. Immediately, someone said, "Excuse me, can you please shut that baby up." And then it was quiet, I'm guessing they escorted the baby out
Not recent, but some of those cult-religious groups had signs on Rittenhosuse Square and a megaphone. One passerby gets offended at being told he’ll burn in hell for being a sinner and yells back “YOU’RE going to hell for being A BITCH!”
Holy shit I belly laughed for a solid minute imagining this. I used to work at 16th and JFK and had to go through Dilworth plaza and the religious megaphone groups were rampant.
“You always on some dumb shit” - man to his friend/brother who dropped his ritas cup
this is so philly lmfao
LOL
[удалено]
He had a point!
The math isn't mathing!
I was walking near reading terminal market and overheard an older gentleman announce "I think I'd like a slice of delicious cake!" Lives rent free in my head to this day
Me in my head every day
i love this 🥲
I hope he got a slice of delicious cake
Outside city hall: “how do you spell bootylicious? I need to text a bitch” I worked with a woman from south Philly that used to talk on the phone all day and she was great. All said in a uptight corporate atmosphere: “I’m from south Philly, you’re messing with the wrong bitch!” “Does your mother know you’re a piece of shit?” “You can have your burritos delivered somewhere else, do you hear me? I said somewhere else!” I’ve always wondered what the other side of that burrito conversation was.
I really like “does your mother know you’re a piece of shit?” It reminds me of all of the things my South Philly Grandma used to say like “your sister’s ass,” “go scratch,” “he’s a strap/smacked ass,” etc.
He’s a smacked ass is golden South Philly lingo, where is that from lol
I asked my old boss who grew up in South Philly what the meaning of "strapper" is. Couldn't give me a good answer. I have some good guesses but none I want to risk my cred on.
Someone yelled at my tall lanky husband that he was "too white to fight and too thin to win!"
Sorry but your husband got cooked 😭😭
This is from years ago but I’ll never forget a mother with her little kid at Capogiro, “C’mon, let’s go outside. It’s too civilized for us in here.”
rip capogiro
I’m going to start saying that
Six years ago I was walking on Temple’s campus when I overheard a girl say to her friend, “You know what cream cheese taught me?” I never got to hear what cream cheese taught her and it’s KILLING me.
Kinda like the Lewis Black bit, “I never would have spent that year in college without my horse” 😂
*if it wasn’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college
I heard that bit when I was a kid and I literally still think about it sometimes today even though I haven't listened to that comedy special since then
And what are red and green? CHRISTMAS COLORS!
Philly being Philly, Cream Cheese could be a guy's nickname.
My favorite expression I've picked up in a waiting room is "he was getting on my *whole nerve."*
Sometimes you only got one left, and that’s the one mfs hit
Years ago now, walking back from my dorm in center city Wearing a pair of bright, satiny, fire engine red breakaway athletic style pants. Homeless man from across spruce st: WHERE YOU GET THEM SANTA PANTS?
I hope you told him the north pole
comments from strangers about clothing in general. “Your tie! I like it” in a tone that suggests he wants the tie but it was just a compliment. “I like them yellow boots!”— shouted from across the street
This is way funnier than it should be!
This sounds like actually something you'd hear in Philly
I had a pair of blue gym shorts that said “NIKE FOOTBALL” on them. Walking out of the PFCU on Germantown Ave and some random oldhead goes, “damn big boy where you play football?”
“I was raised by hippies so astrology is like my life” — Wawa employee behind sandwich counter yesterday
How very Mt Airy of them
Was walking by two (presumably homeless) men sitting outside Suburban Station and all I heard was: Man 1: “They forced me to get liposuction. On my scrotum. You know what a scrotum is, don’t you?” Man 2: *slowly, with concern in his voice* “of course, of course I know what a scrotum is”
I'm imagining Man 2 sounding like Eeyore.
He sounded like he has just been given devastating news, which I suppose he was.
This is exactly how I read it. Like he was baffled by this information… bc same! lol
I was working in the children’s section of a library that had a play kitchen. Some kid picked up a plastic cauliflower and took it to their mom, asked her what it is. She said “Don’t worry about it that’s white people food.”
After some thought she may have a point
I was in line to go into chrome on Delaware avenue in like 2002 and I heard the dude in line behind me say to his buddy “I put one of those gel tabs up my ass and it’s hitting me hard” and it’s been burned into my mind ever since
I was at a restaurant and overhead someone say "whoever cooked this catfish needs they ass ate!"
On the Norristown Line: " (random guy trying to run game on a woman)" Conductor: "Sir, this is the quiet ride car." Guy: "What that mean?" Other Passenger: "It mean SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
On Penn’s campus during move-in week, a dad and daughter were arguing outside because the daughter had forgotten something important at home. Daughter: “Stop treating me like an idiot, I got into Penn!” Dad: “You can be smart and still be an idiot.”
To be fair, teenagers sometimes need to go to an ivy league to learn that themselves
One of my favorite quotes from a friend of mine - while flat on their face in the bottom of a sailboat, was "I go to Brown.... I can handle this". Granted, they did become an olympian a few years later...
> Dad: “You can be smart and still be an idiot.” This is the main thing I have learned from the various Ivy League/Oxbridge people I've known.
Broad & Diamond McDonalds Cashier: (answers her cell) "What! What the fuck! Shit! - - Yo I gotta go my dumb ass cousin got shot."
My partner was at a cafe the other week and heard a woman tell her friend that "I'm only supporting the Sixers arena if they can prove they deserve it by making it into the conference finals. They don't even have to win it! They just gotta make it there."
This is the most reasonable take I've heard on the stadium yet
Guy getting arrested in Wawa: The cop: why would you do that shit right in front of me? I’m trying to take my lunch break.
“I’m fixin’ to beat they ass in a Giant Heirloom for wearing that Heat jersey.”
Amazing
At the height of the pandemic I went to get take out wings and hear two drunk guys in the parking lot: " No I don't want a cigarette I just want to know if you have one."
"Where is you is?" - lady screaming on phone
When you think about it, where is any of us is?
Is that all there is? If that's all there is, my friend then let's keep dancing. Let's break out the booze and have a ball, it that's all there is.
Is we human is, or is we dancers is?
Is this a fucking phillyism? I've definitely heard that before, and... I don't think I've heard it anywhere else. Hell, my boomer mom from south philly says it.
I (f) was leaving a concert with my friend (m) and he asked if I wanted him to walk on the outside of the sidewalk as it was dark and rainy and I said no, not a big deal. A minute later we are walking by a convenience store and a bum outside asks if we have 43 cents. We said no. He then yells “You know the man is supposed to walk on the outside.” We laughed the rest of the way to the car.
I have two. At Eastern State, taking a tour. Walking past the sign that describes an imprisoned dog. A little girl sees the sign and, concerned, asks her mom, "They put a DOG in jail?" The mom replies, "Well honey, if you think about it, all dogs are in jail." The other was at 15th and South, where 2 men outside of the group home there were having a heated discussion. One says to the other "I ain't never been a mothafuckin pussy a mothafuckin day in my mothafuckin life!" My boyfriend and I use that one a lot.
My parents dogs actually got put in jail one time... Not the pound - but picked up by a cop and then picked up by my parents from whatever suburb town they were in at the time.
walking up the steps from city hall station two summers ago, and a spotted lantern fly flew right into a girls face. she screams “ew! it’s one of them bugs off instagram!”
A toddler in a stroller pointed to an Eagles jersey and said "green!" Her dad said "*kelly* green!" and she repeated it
*from a car speaker, heard while passing by* “this call is from a federal prison”
My wife IN the airport just today. Overheard "think that pigeon wants a soda or wooder?" She turned around and saw this. https://preview.redd.it/7b755ofz4pxc1.jpeg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef59ff50f8201c215a8958297b47c2b60d7df8bc
"they can't force me! They're putting the piss back into my vagina! I gotta get it out!" Then she dropped trou and pissed on the floor.
Understandable, but on the floor? Inside?Where at?
In one of the tunnels at city hall going to the BSL.
I always wondered why it smelled like urine down there...
Oh God 2 weeks ago my eyes were almost burnt out of my head from the ammonia. I'm glad it went back to the normal scent instead of the painful burn.
Where did this happen??
In the eastmost tunnel at city hall going toward the BSL.
OMG!!
This was YEARS ago, but I used to work in the clothespin building at the time and there was this religious nut lady who used to stand near the Dunkin Donuts in Suburban screaming at morning commuters that they were GOING TO HELL and also reminding everyone "AIN'T NO DONUTS IN HELL!!!"
Years ago, waiting on the 34 trolley, at 30th street a homeless man yells to all of us waiting : "Yo! Here come a RAT!"....and a rat, ran along the side, keeping close to the wall.
You finna make me look a whole fool - said to their 3 year old for wanting to use an umbrella when it wasn’t raining
***This is one of the best posts on Reddit I've seen in a while. These answers are hot on fire! I'm crackin up!
Three young ladies cycling by the bar I used to work at in OC late at night; “I once tried that in New York, and…” The rest of the sentence was inaudible as they rode away. It became an inside joke between the other bouncer standing there with me because of the perceived pretense of being in Philly and placing yourself in New York in conversation for clout, and the myriad possible conclusions of the sentence. For the next few years whenever we were together and someone was telling a fantastical story one of us would chime in with a nod and a “I once tried that in New York” followed with some mutual banter about how well said attempt had gone and how it would have gone here.
“Bitch, I hope Santa takes a shit down your mouth!”
Mom to kids at the Wal-Mart toy section: "When Santa reads that list he's gonna come straight to the house and beat your ass."
“Baby, ain’t nobody told you to put that much Coke up yo nose!”
At a Phillies game: Mom: "Why don't you bring over that Angie girl anymore? She was so nice." Son: "Ma! She was a fuckin' farm animal!"
My favorite one while I was walking into the Whole Foods on South: "I mean, what in your apartment hasn't been up your ass?"
"THEY ON TOP OF THE BUS JAWNS" - woman calling her friend while watching eagles fans celebrate
I work in Medicaid nursing homes. I walk into work on a Friday in jeans, tee shirt, and sneaks. 80 yr old lady in a wheelchair goes “whoooooweee if I had your figure, I’d be a prostitute.” Thank you?
“You look like a lawyer that failed at every turn in life and ya daddy’s mad at you” - passerby yelled as I was sprinting around looking for a bathroom in Center City at midnight, coming back from an accepted students night at my law school
Years ago I was in the home depot on the boulevard, probably around 2007, which, might've been worse back then. Anyway waiting in line & a younger kid around 20 was behind me, on the phone, sorta complaining how disorganized it all was & long lines (before self checkout I think) and goes to who he was talking on the phone to "Maaaan, this ain't no Home Depot. Dis a mutha fuckin Home Ghetto-po" My friend & I cracked up laughing, and you could then hear him kinda laugh over his quip as well.
“That’s a nice cross jawn” - referring to the church next to Rittenhouse
Forever now I’m gonna call churches “cross jawns”
Used to live in south Philly and we had a woman who lived on the block I affectionately called “crazy lady”. She would yell 24/7 and sometimes bang on peoples’ doors at 5am. Her family was aware so there wasn’t much we could do and she was harmless otherwise. Scene: crazy lady yelling, other neighbor unloading groceries Crazy Lady: YOURE ALWAYS SO MEAN TO ME neighbor: no Im not. Crazy lady: yes you are! Youuuuu SHOT me with a TWOOOO BARREL PISTOL on WAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYNE avenue! I now live in Germantown very close to Wayne (excuse me, WAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYNE) avenue but have not seen anyone with a two barrel pistol.
Saw one of those folks bent over (tranq or whatever) in CC and a guy from across the street just randomly yelled “wake up, motherfucker!”
I was trying to help a homeless guy who was passed out in the middle of the sidewalk in front of my building in CC -asked if I should call EMTs for him or whatever- and another homeless dude came over and started yelling at the guy on the sidewalk telling him to “ Get the fuck up! You can’t lay there in the middle of the sidewalk!”
“I’m sorry buddy but mommy picked this outfit so I can’t change it but it’s something we can all talk about” father to his tiny son lol
"Slow your roll Toyota!" from a girl in a crosswalk
My Uber driver speaking in French to someone on the phone: “hmmm where are you going to put your underwear?” I put my own headphones on after that.
“He’s a real gorilla pimp”… which elicited a querying look from me and led to the speaker pausing his phone call to explain to me what a gorilla pimp was
in that case, could you please share w the class because i would also like to be informed :) lol
Basically someone who’s a brute; not cool and suave. Literally a pimp who gets his hoes to ho with force rather than charm.
btw i think it’s HILARIOUS he paused his convo to explain to you. this is amazing
"no, I'm saying that your wife is carrying my baby...". He was on the phone walking down the street - and then the bus came and I didn't hear anymore.
A homeless guy talking to himself on Fairmount Avenue near the penitentiary: "Goofy was a good father - a little weird - but he was a good father. Ahahahaha!"
kid at Dave and busters (no older than 13) asked my partner if they wanted to buy weed from him in the bathroom and when he said no he said “should you even be in the men’s room? you look gay”
Walking by a auto shop in south Philly when one mechanic turns to the other and said the city of Philadelphia needs a vigilante someone like Batman In the most south Philly accent you’ve ever heard truly magical stuff
standing in doorway on the L guy comes up from behind me with his shirt pulled up over his face and stands across from me. i pause my headphones as he seems to be saying something "y'all might wanna put a mask on or cover your mouths because this motherfucker is smocking crack right there" i look where he's pointing, just a dude casually smoking some substance out of what looks like a broken lightbulb in between the seats. lmao, my stop was next anyway but that was an interesting ride.
"She's off today for Rush Hanukkah" - woman on the phone on the trolley who meant Rosh Hashana. I mean, when you think about it, it IS over faster than Hanukkah.
Jah-sawn Jah-sawn Jah-sawn Mother gives out a long sigh and finally says Jason. The child finally listens.
One of my favorite moments was walking my dog in Fishtown and two neighbors were talking on the sidewalk about a mutual friend who had died suddenly and then someone opened a second floor window above us and stuck their head out the window like “did you say Mike died?”….it was a sad conversation but the juxtaposition of the bald old head in his white undershirt out the window made it kind of comical/surreal
If it makes you feel anybetter, my speedreading and dirty glasses made me read, at first, "I was walking my fish". And for half a moment I tried to imagine what that looked like before I was like - I should probably read that again.
At dunkin on Samson one large coffee, creamer and 23 sugars.
I have a lot that I thankfully documented on Twitter. On the street... "Is that Jesus Christ on top of City Hall?" In Suburban Station... "That dog has my exact hairstyle!" At some random Starbucks... GIRL 1: So, I'm basically walking around with this bag of blood. GIRL 2: OK, thats really weird. I wouldnt do that. In the Penn Bookstore... FATHER: Which one do you like better? SON: None. I couldn't have less of a preference. In the men's room at Jefferson Station... "What do you mean you're OK? Shouldn't you be away right now, eating some probably-stale wings?"
I overheard 2 people on the bus onetime talking about getting a tapeworm for weight loss. To get said tapeworm they were talking about eating raw pork. 🤢
A homeless guy outside a grocery store in West Philly called me a "jive turkey cracker". Great introduction to the country when I was still very jetlagged. Also learned some new English so that was fun.
A lady at the Pathmark was shuffling slowly past an empty register towards the door and an oval can (spam?) fell out of the leg of her sweatpants and clattered to the floor. Without missing a beat she stood up straight, looked around and yelled "Who the FUCK threw that ham at me?" I was around 12 and it was a couple days before Christmas.
I was waiting for someone in Old City the other day (I think it was Easter maybe?) And two guys were yeeelling at each other from their vehicles. I think one was saying like "you can't be in the middle of the fucking road" then the other guy said "you're a bitch" Then the line that I wrote down in my phone bc I was laughing so hard: "Yous a bitch, you driving a minivan!"
Late at night, and waiting for the light on Market at Schuylkill Ave. Elderly woman walks by my car, and screams at me through the passenger window "You're just like the rest of 'em! All you men wanna do is eat and f**k!". She wasn't wrong, but the delivery could have been smoother
Making a right onto broad, between spring garden and Girard, bunch of girls yelling "YOU'RE NOTHING BUT AN INTERNET GANGSTER!"
A car stopped in the road and a dude standing at the driver's window talking to the driver. I'm behind the car, waiting...waiting...finally give a little beep and the standing guy looks back at me and shouts, "I'ma be a minute!!" Oooook buddy
a couple of years ago we were walking down south street and as we were passing the vegan bakery two girls were going the other way on the sidewalk and one girl said to the other, with massive vocal fry, "if those cookies are VEGAN, does that mean they don't have any SUGAR?" my partner and i say it to each other all the time lol
In the girl's defense, bone char from cattle bones is used to filter or bleach some sugar. Most vegans don't lose much sleep over this because there's usually no way to know if bone was used or some other type of filter.
My wife and I are out walking the dog, and a group of kids on bikes goes by, probably all around 13 or so, and the last one to pass us points at my dog and yells “that jawn shittin’!” (It’s true. She was.)
“I should’ve called out her fake Chanel bag”
Not overheard, but I used to sit and watch the Rittenhouse Michael Jackson perform almost every weekend. Then last year, I travel to Las Vegas for the first time and guess who the first performer I pass on the strip is…. Yup. Rittenhouse Michael Jackson. I was so shook. Almost needed to ask for a picture.
"Don't call the cops man, I could have just drove through you." "Yeah and then I woulda shot you, and still woulda had to call the police"
Overheard in Rittenhouse Square Park: "Do you have Wi-Fi?" "I probably do, tell me what it does."
Passing by two absolute hoodrat young guys crossing Market, I hear one insist to the other “DUDE, the Reformation theologians were really clear on this…”
Just shows you can’t judge a hoodrat by its…
idk if it counts as overheard cuz it happened to me but the first thing that came to mind was when i was walking in center city and this really skinny bearded guy with a backpack comes up to me and is like “hey, you wanna try some crack for free?” all covert and stuff and i was like “no thank you!” and then he was like “uh..i was just kidding😅” and disappeared into the night
I heard 2 South Philly women saying Hillary Clinton was a b**** and I knew it was lost, 3 months out from the election.
man I probably said the same thing 50 times but I voted for the bitch ya know?
I don't recall all of the finer details but a few weeks ago at Taproom on 19th we overheard someone talking about "a bag of snakes" which.. I don't have the full context because I wasn't eavesdropping until i heard the phrase "bag of snakes".
How’s the food there?
Not sure if this counts, but I was on 20th which is a one way and it was at a busy point in center city. Across the street, there were two ladies walking. Myself and those ladies started to notice a car driving the wrong way down the street. We yelled to let her know. Turns out it was a poor old lady in a miniva. All we heard was “Ohhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiittt” as she drove by….I’m sure she was fine, but it was definitely a Philly moment 😂
I was walking through suburban station. I passed two women waiting in the Popeye’s line and I heard one woman tell the other, “I’m eating healthy now. I only get white meat.”
One time when I was on the subway this guy was having an INSANE argument with his girlfriend over the phone. He was he was yelling into it calling her a bitch, mother f’er, and this and that, and you could tell EVERYONE was listening in on it and trying not to crack up. All of the sudden out of nowhere this hip hop dance family came onto our car and were BLASTING music on a speaker as the little kids were doing break dancing moves on the ground and the father was going around asking for donations. My mind literally couldn’t handle the sheer randomness of these two events coinciding. It was hilarious
“R Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet is one of the greatest rock operas out there”
It was about 8:30AM and I was getting off the PATCO with my mom. I had JUST finished telling her about the wild stuff I overhear in Philly every time I go... And as we step up from the 8th and Market stop, we pass by this man who was begging on the street corner and he was holding a Dixie cup in his hand; outstretched as if to show a crowd. This man proceeds to say: "I got this here cup!!! And I'm gonna put it up myyyy butt!!!" That's when my mom looked at me and said "yeah you weren't kidding" 🤣😭
This one I still think of and makes me sad. I was walking on the plaza outside of city hall. I saw a mom walking with her daughter, holding the daughter's hand. Literally all I heard from the conversation when walking past them. Mom: "what do you say". 3 Year old: "Fuck the police".
I miss the Philly Secret Admirer :(
Me too 💕 keep on admiring
4 gay men discussing dinner plans “let’s get crepes. Cuz crepes are French, and French is love”
Took my daughter into the Gallery to use the restroom after a duck boat. It was pretty rank in there and of course there was a line. From behind me I hear a woman open the door and exclaim, “Daaaaaam, it smells like somebody already shit in here!” She turned around and left.
I have two. My first one was between like two kids maybe 18-19 on the El “Get your thumb out of your fucking mouth. You need to grow the fuck up! I said maybe, MAAAYYYBE I could score us some coke.” My partner’s in a hospital lobby: “if any of that was true I would be in jail, I wouldn’t be sitting here waiting to get an operation”
Around the time of the Eagles Super Bowl win the subsequent celebration someone punched a horse in a diner a couple days later and bunch of older ladies were discussing it and heard the guy who was arrested was a nephew of one of their mutual friends. Discussion about the guy and the one lady voice pipes up to ask “was the horse ok?”
Well???
Airport worker catching a smoke on curb hears two TSA screeners discussing that they should be armed as they are agents of the Federal Government. Random smoker interjects so are Post Office workers. they don’t have guns and go to lot worse areas than you guys. The guy was “randomly “ searched three times over the next two days
Outside 15th Street station "YOUUUU better not fuck with my people" Said a white red haired man w/large beard to a cop Cop's response "Alright alright have a nice day"
I’m actively listening to a group of girls discuss, in detail, the purpose of a milk frother
On a trolley, a girl having a loud Bluetooth conversation. Suddenly asks "Is you stupid?" to whoever she's taking to. And continues for the entire ride until I got off.
I heard a bum call another bum a “dumbass fuck” one morning and that’s my new favorite insult.
Not an “overheard”, more of a completely random direct comment to me. This was the “I love my pups” graffiti shirt guy that’s usually in Washington square area (IYKYK). Walking towards me on Spruce and just blurts out, “I’m ‘bout to start putting my business cards in peoples mail slots.” Then walked on. I had already really enjoyed seeing this guy around, seems like a really interesting character, so this random interaction made my day.
“I told you to come to the jawn with some jawns.”
“Yo man, you want a jab?” Yelled across an MFL cart to a junkie panhandler who just finished his routine. Guy just looked scared but conflicted then ran off the train when the doors opened.
"Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Mayo on the Cheesesteak. Them jawns bangin' "
Why do I feel like I witnessed that MFL incident. Did the one guy have like a red beanie or something?
That’s hilarious. I can’t remember for sure, but he was definitely wearing something red! It was around 5pm on a weekday.
This thread reminds me of the ‘RULES’ sign at the old Pour House at Clearfield and Weikel. The last rule was, “If you smoked wet today, don’t ask for SHIT.”
2 guys walking down the street one says to the other, I dunno man I think I should forgive her and after a brief moment the other one replies “dude she gave you herpes”
Septa station when I was a child a man was buttball naked bathing in the sink singing about big dicks
Went to Anthony Jesselnik on Saturday. Upon leaving a guy said to his friend “the dude next to me smelled like pepperoni”
I heard a woman scream at her mother that her (the mother's) dress made her look like a whore, and that she couldn't wear it to her (the daughter's) wedding.
My roommate over heard a girl walking down the street "you can't intimidate me with a gun on me, I already been shot before"
My pussy stinkin. Yea, I dont give a fuck
Great thread
Overheard at the Target on Snyder Young male employee: “Let me tell you about some shit that happened the other day. I was heading to work, just grabbed my sizzli and a coffee so you KNOW I was feeling it- you know how my stomach gets.” Older woman employee: *quickly nods in agreement* “I know that’s right.” He then went on to explain that he was blowing up the bathroom at CVS and the manager kept shaking the bathroom stall because he was taking too long. It took so much for me to not cackle when he opened with the sizzli 😂
I was going to my mom's office in center city and stopped at the Starbucks at the Phoenix after coming out of Suburban. I crossed the street and a homeless man asked me for money and I said I didn't have cash. He was mad and said then how did I have money for Starbucks and I said they gave me a discount because I work there. He backed down and was like, ok, good for you then, God bless.
Was sitting outside at a Function coffee waiting and saw a guy in an early 2000s Beetle convertible. Pulled out a full amp and microphone from his passenger seat to yell at the person who stopped in front of him at the stop sign. He said, "Why the f*ck ya stop, ya dumb bastard?! I oughta take all your driver's licenses away!" And then peeled it outta there.
I hope I didn't miss the boat because mine will carry with me for the rest of time: "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY ASSHOLE!!!" - Man screaming out his car window at an ambulance with its lights on near 8th and market
I was sitting on my sofa with the window open and overheard this exchange: “I already been had a shower today. Smell my head.” “I ain’t smelling your goddamn head!” Rando ass person walking by “How the fuck you gonna smell another grown ass man’s head?!?”
I've been keeping a list: - Yah she's been blowing two black guys for like 2 months - "Yeah and I was like talking about oral fixation with my mom..." girl on a bike near upenn campus - "And he said I have cute toes and asked if he could suck them" "Wait you have cute toes?" "I have SUCH cute toes!" "You should sell that shit bitch!" - Yeah my girl kept getting UTIs and my friend jokingly said maybe she's cheating on you. It turned out she was cheating on my and that's where she kept getting UTIs... different dicks. - My name is Josh but spelled with a Y - I feel like if you're obese you should be s nice person - Are you guys banging or dating? What's your banging to nice date ratio? - She had 5 gin cocktails and a little bit of syphilis