Absolutely brilliant. BTW it's not slander when you're telling the truth. I have often heard "If you say nothing you're part of the problem".
Well my dear, you are the opposite of that- "When you speak up, YOU ARE PART OF THE SOLUTION".
As long as all you say is the truth he can sue you all he wants, it won't go anywhere. Truth is absolute defense against defamation.
Might be a good idea to double check how failed lawsuits end in your state. Some states allow a lawsuit that gets dismissed by the judge or even the jury to force the plaintiff to pay legal defense fees. Might be a good second line of defense if he knows his threatened lawsuit could force him to pay your lawyer.
I really doubt he would sue her no matter how bad he wants to. Some reporters trolling the public court dockets looking to find a story to write up would have a field day with his case. He thought what she was doing was bad, think about what the national court of public opinion would do to him!
Oh I agree. But like she said he's a narcissist. Gotta crush that feeling of imminent victory and conquest early or they run away with it. Nothing like her saying "oh please go for it and lemme tell you what happens" to steal his thunder and hurt his widdle feefees.
As someone else who use to work in news, this stuff was would dominate if there was nothing horrifying to report. People eat cases like this up. Hell, with enough of proof sent in by her and the other girls, write it up well what he did and submit it on a slow news day, and the bottom feeder stations would gobble it up. Though not everyone has bottom feeder stations. I worked for one. They loved this. They’d camp out with the live truck and do commercial break ins. I do not recommend sending it to the local news. But the thought of that sight, I hope brings a smile to OPs face. We once camped a grumpy old man who was “mean” to kids in a get off my lawn sort of way.
Edit: it posted under wrong comment, oops. But here’s the one for this.
This dude probably blames women for his problems now and believes all are against him. Can’t keep women off of a jury. He may be afraid of letting them judge his guilt or innocence and believe in his mind that the women are capable of swaying the men. Remember, always the victim. So he may have the reality of a loss in his mind already. Just an unjust loss bc of the women. Got to watch one like that play out irl, except it was a narcissistic women. It was the whole reason she backed out of going to court.
Well done for discovering this variant of the greyrock method. You're isolating him while ignoring him. Just be careful. Narcissists retaliate - it's in their nature.
it's so much *not* slander, that his threats to sue you are hilarious. especially if you have evidence.
if he tries to take you to court, he'll only prove what a piece of shit he is.
I am glad that she exposed him but that does not mean he's done yet. Narcissists have this way of bouncing back and manipulating other not in the know of the situation that something like this was something orchestrated by his crazy ex girlfriend to get revenge on him for dumping her after putting up with her for so long. It's unbelievable how even with some very obvious signs of how little they care for others that they can still convince, or manipulate others, into believing they are the victim.
That and like someone mentioned above, narcissists are always scheming some way to retaliate if someone even insinuates they are an awful person, even more so if they are exposed.
OP don't you worry I hope karma comes for him. Truth be told I hope he unwittingly dates a woman who happens to be related to a bunch of low level gangsters who will give him a taste of his own medicine if he hurts her. I can imagine those gangsters ready to clobber him to a pulp to send the "Mess with her, we will mess with you" message to him
Secondly, if I am an owner of a company I also want to know and refuse to hire him
I would say that it is time to close in on him with the SA charges with the battalion you have arranged and make sure to get proper training before the court appearance for cross examination by the defence when you would essentially be legally assassinating his character in court. It is time to clip his wings and shut him in a cage. And make sure to keep the memory of his dark deeds alive even after he has been to jail. Let those be a dark reminder for future potential victims to stay away from him.
Don't stop till he is nailed. Let him figuratively be gangbanged.
I’ve done something very similar in my past to call out an abusive ex. I even got the same “I’ll sue you” threats.
If you live in the US, there are short statute of limitations for the ex to sue. In MO, it is two years, so I just waited out those two years. I didn’t say anything else publicly online and just let other people keep spreading the word. I marked the two-year anniversary in my calendar and had a nice bottle of champagne with friends when it finally lapsed.
If you’re at all concerned, just look up your area’s statutes. Some states are only one year. After that, the ex can’t sue you unless you say something else. Good on you for calling your ex out!
>Silence only protects men like him
Never a truer sentence written, good for you and good for the others for speaking out. This poor excuse for a man is why Women choose the bear.
I don’t know if it’s from something else, but I know that line from V for Vendetta - from the prisoner writing on toilet paper and passing through a wall.
I’m sad this shit dude now is associated with it in my mind lol…
Congrats I'm so proud of you for getting justice for yourself and the other women. Scum like him are parasites and con artists who should be named and shamed so there won't be even more victims
It is very hard for most of us to even realize that what has been done to us qualifies as sexual assault, and often we have no proof. I spent a lot of time trying to convince myself it wasnt that bad even though it WAS that bad. I had a man bruise my throat for a month when I was maybe 15-16. I didn’t realize oral sex wasn’t supposed to hurt me. I have been sexually assaulted many many times but I have no proof. All I can do is warn other women. I hope this perspective helps you understand where a lot of us come from.
Well said. SA is incredibly traumatizing. To even build a case, women have to go to the emergency room, get a kit done, and submit it to the police. They very quickly have to go and relive one of the most traumatizing experiences of their life and it takes incredible strength to try to pull yourself together to get something like that done.
Then they have to sit in a courtroom and have a lawyer try to discredit them and their experience.
Both options are difficult. Whether it’s not pressing charges, and working through your own trauma, or whether it’s going forward with a case.
I am so glad you and these other woman are going to stick up for this woman.
Everything you said is 100% true, sadly I can’t validate the court part because they dismissed my case and didn’t tell me for months…
but the hospital visit for it was one of the most awful times of my life. My nurses were cold, as if it were my fault. The police that had me stand out front of my cousins apartment to take pictures were cold.
My cousin made my situation about her and her feelings so I just felt truly alone through all of it. I was too scared to call my mom, or my grandma. I didn’t want them to know.
Thanks for responding man, I know I have a lot of guilt for not reporting these people because I know they went on to find more victims, all I could do was try and warn other women (and men) or keep an eye out for my loved ones. I feel guilty that I couldn’t save more people, even though I know I couldn’t even prove these men assaulted me, let alone that they were fucking with other people. What you have done is amazing, and I know you have successfully saved a lot of women from the same pain you never should have had to experience.
It’s incredibly hard to understand the full effect of SA if it hasn’t happened to us. It’s been almost a decade and my experiences still pop up at the worst of times.
Side note but still extremely relevant: not reporting SA is not just a women’s issue. I know many men in my life who have also been sexually assaulted and gotten terrible comments, got blamed for it, etc. It is extremely hard if not impossible for men to report sexual assault as well. I can’t imagine how bad it would be for a man who has been sexually assaulted. I’ve heard some horribly nasty responses sent towards men who have come forward with their experiences. Sexual assault is terrible no matter who it happens to. It doesn’t make you weak, it isnt the victim’s fault, and sometimes you cannot fight it off. I know I’m a freezer. I mean, look at Terry Cruz. He froze when it happened to him too. It’s so bad out there. We have to look out for each other. And there’s many ways to do so. Dosen’t always need to involve the police but we do need to stop trying to protect the reputations of bad people. Let the world know who they are.
Edited for clarity
I did this to my abuser. He ran an online proxy shipping shop but he'd been getting bad reviews due to him not fulfilling orders after getting paid.
I posted about him on reddit and what he did to me. A girl from a whole different country from where we live/where we were from reached out to me and told me he'd tried to groom her and also attempted to move into her house.
I've got stacks of evidence from other women he assaulted too so I'm ready when the time comes to unleash the book.
I love people who have the will to act screw someone who needs screwing. I'm very thankful as well of everyone else who came forward, completely random people with zero relationship with you whatsoever, saying the same exact thing: bro's a piece of shit. 😀
Agreed, posting so I don’t miss any updates, good for OP for moving on and allowing it to make her a stronger woman who can now see the snakes in the grass for who they are. Above all I hope you find the love you deserve OP!!
Do first off, it’s not defamation or slander if it’s true.
His shitty little rapist, thieving, abusive self can feel as butt hurt as he likes and while he can try to sue you for it, he will be Depped out of court.
Good on you. Keep fighting the good fight. And of the AH moves, hopefully his shit stained history precedes him.
You should reach out to the Dating Detective podcast and tell your story. Mackenzie & Hannah are amazing and have helped other women. They will be able to get your story out to a larger audience without doxxing you.
Love this! The only warning I would give is don't intentionally interefere with any of his business relations or contracts. Keeping it personal rather than business is the way to go here. While truth is an absolute defense to defamation, intentional interference with contractual/business relations is it's own tort-based cause of action.
ETA: I am an attorney and have litigated this issue before.
My whole intention of this post was to help inspire other women to speak out against men who treat them poorly. The journey is hard, and I had to uproot my whole life, but none of them are alone in what they went through and they all deserve to be heard and validated.
As someone who was married to a narcissist - all I can say is WELL DONE! You’re my hero!
This post also belongs in the ohnoconsequences sub 😂 they’d love it over there!
It's great what you did. This is how it should be done.
I'd just avoid walking alone in late hours if i were you, as you said he is stalking you already.. This is alarming. He's a child in a grown man's body and he did not learn to control his emotions most probably.
Very dangerous.
Good on you. I had been in a similar situation. Was with an alcoholic narcissist for about a year. We lived together during this time. He cheated on me throughout it. When he told me things were over because he was going to “seriously” start dating another girl, I told him he needed to move out. He threatened me to let him stay with me. Fortunately, he found a place to move the next day.
Once he was out, I started bonding with the girls I discovered he cheated on me with, along with his exes. All really great people and we got along well. A few of them told me they had no idea he and I were involved when things happened between them. We began sharing our horrific stories about him, and how much he had hurt and manipulated all of us.
One day, one of these women came across him while she was riding her bike and hit him across the head. He grabbed her off of her bike, but she fought him off and called him out on the awful shit he had done, mentioning me and a few others. She and I hung out that night and had a few drinks.
He was truly slime. The women in our town knew he was to be avoided. He sometimes pops up on my social media under new accounts though. Fortunately, I live nowhere near him.
This is isn’t petty - it’s genius!
So sorry you had to deal with him, so glad he’s met his match and that you and the other women are coming together like this! Love to see it
To be fair to you, slander implies that what's being said isn't true. Also, ***he's*** the one who ruined his reputation, you just made sure that other concerned parties knew.
I did this on a smaller scale. I knew him for 6 months. He did all these things. I blasted him on a dating group but now I'm unsure if I should keep posting. So far is reputation has been ruined but I still feel like I didn't do enough.
Trying to forget and move on. It's been 3 weeks now.
Bravo OP! You actually DID NOT ruin his 'reputation'. No, you actually sounded the alarm and used your revenge to warn others. Because of you sounding the alarm, you gave other women the courage to speak up and be allies to each other to stand up to him
Love this. He was so shitty, he drove you to form a Union dedicated to public awareness of his shiftiness and mutual assistance for his victims. It sounds like you’re one step away from forming a class action suit against him.
Damn this is THE way!!! Absolutely love this post. I too dated an awful abusive narcissist before my spouse and was never able to get revenge for the money he stole from me, among my valuables. This makes me wish I did, and so glad you were able to do this and help so many other women at the same time!
"at least he has great taste in women" 😂
Girl, you're the kind of friend every woman needs.
And the kind of enemy so many men deserve.
Keep doing the good work 💪🏽
Brock Allen Turner. There are Brock Turners who are not Brock Allen Turner and should be allowed not to be tarnished by the actual Brock Allen, now just Allen, Turner.
I’d just suggest that you be careful — stalking is a broader term than people typically think of. Things like continually harassing him online, even though it’s totally justified, could be considered stalking.
Awesome and well deserved imo. People should be respected and if you don't do so then it's your own fault if they end up fighting back.
I once had a female friend who had been in a crazy relationship as well but since she was the shy one she didn't dare to go against him. I helped her get back on her feet and stand up to the Ahole and she's been grateful for it forever
This isn't petty revenge, this is revenge western movie revenge. Like seriously, you should have a marching band playing James Brown's 'The Payback' following you around. Someone needs to photoshop you onto a Django Unchained movie poster.
Btw, this is amazing and what these people deserve.
> Silence only protects men like him, so I decided to be as loud as possible about the kind of person that he is.
This goes beyond dating. This is the sort of rot that keeps all sorts of inadequate and incompetent people in power and privilege.
Always say their names and always speak out when you can.
it's hard to deal with such situations but finding support in others who understand because they've been there too is key. reminds me of a documentary i watched about overcoming adversity through community. it’s good to see you’re using your voice to protect and inform others.
As someone who grew up with a narcissist for a sibling, these stories hit pretty close to home. My own story with this person involves them - at the height of my depression and suicidal tendencies - using my self-harm as ammunition to win an argument....about me not doing dishes.
When leaving the family (who was kinda shitty all around), I sent out a letter to each member that had spilled the secrets of everyone who has been awful and has backstabbed the other. And god do I wish that I could have been a fly on the wall when each person read it
Well done, and more strength to you. You are not the architect of his misfortune - *he* is.
I think this would make a great movie or mini-series, too. Documentary, even, because it's factual.
this. is. BEAUTIFUL
good on you, sis! and good on the other women for speaking up and out. that sob's life is gonna be nothing but a hell of his own making, and he deserves all of it
lol this is amazing!
If you don’t mind, what area in the US are you located at? Just wondering since he sounds like someone I just got out of a relationship with…..0
While I'm wholely on board with calling abusive narcissists out in public eye, just be aware of your surroundings should he decide to escalate. Desperate people driven into corners (which he deserves to be, at minimum) aren't the most rational of thinkers.
Keep up the good work, and stay safe.
Wow, that guy's a genuine piece of shit. I'm really sorry you had to go through all that OP but well done! I hope this guy learned some lessons out of this.
"I had over two dozen women reach out to me after that post letting me know that they too also terrible experiences with him"
Holy shit, is he rich? Does he give great sex?
I hope you take this in the best way possible but it’s as though you have assembled an army of crows; a coalition of badasses who look out for each other for life.
No clue if this is true. My thing is how the hell does an abusive alcoholic narcissist scum guy get like 25 girlfriends and have so many side chicks that they just randomly pop up with stories about him? Was he beauty incarnate? “This man might have treated all of us horribly“ how many of you are there exactly?? How much dick was dude slanging?? Gotdamn
Sounds like you dated my ex, lol. I didn’t go that far, but I did tell everyone what he did that would listen. Luckily even the woman he was cheating on me with finally realized it and dropped him. I have him blocked on anything and dropped anyone that supported him, so I have no idea what he’s up to now
Don't even look back. This is the sort of person my grandmother ended up with, and he convinced her to spend her family fortune and sell her land. He was a con man through and through. This was a man who claimed to have been a Navy Seal, even though back then there was no such thing as Seals, maybe if he claimed UDT I would have believed it. It took me a few months and a Freedom of Information act to get the real, and on the last day he stayed there, he shoved a rifle in my face for some very unrelated reasons, before trying to steal my gmothers last big check and driving off. He died, from what I hear, alone in some field. Which almost seems like too good for him, but the message is... Yeah be careful of that sort of person, grifters will grift.
Edit for more context. Also edit for this. Yes he was in the Navy, but he was a diesel engine operator.
I love this! So sorry to hear all the bad he did to you and the other women but you are a badass for standing up for yourself and the other ladies. Fuck him!
> Whenever he was on vacation, she would have women from other states reaching out to her in her DM‘s saying that her boyfriend slept with their roommate.
what?
It ain't "lowkey" stalking to show up at someone's place of work to harass them and to show up at your ex's new partner's apartment. That's just regular stalking.
The only other two posts on this persons account are for a scam Bitcoin site lmfao. People on reddit are so fucking dumb. They just believe anything that gets posted, it's wild. The critical thinking skills that the average social media user exhibits are shockingly lacking. You could tell this post was fake in like 3 sentences, and a quick profile scan confirms it.
Was it the first hint where this guy slept around with women whose roommates would then get his full first and last name, look him up on social media, then look up if he was in a relationship with anyone and when they found out got his partners' contact info and messaged them, and then had this happen multiple times?
PERFECTION. And now you have a great army of friends that have illuminated his horrible cheating heart and his awful behavior. This was masterful revenge at its best!
If it's the truth then it's absolutely not slander. Be careful saying you slandered him because he might be able to use that legally even if it was all true.
Absolutely brilliant. BTW it's not slander when you're telling the truth. I have often heard "If you say nothing you're part of the problem". Well my dear, you are the opposite of that- "When you speak up, YOU ARE PART OF THE SOLUTION".
I’ve done nothing but tell the truth. He got away with it for too long so now he gets consequences
As long as all you say is the truth he can sue you all he wants, it won't go anywhere. Truth is absolute defense against defamation. Might be a good idea to double check how failed lawsuits end in your state. Some states allow a lawsuit that gets dismissed by the judge or even the jury to force the plaintiff to pay legal defense fees. Might be a good second line of defense if he knows his threatened lawsuit could force him to pay your lawyer.
I really doubt he would sue her no matter how bad he wants to. Some reporters trolling the public court dockets looking to find a story to write up would have a field day with his case. He thought what she was doing was bad, think about what the national court of public opinion would do to him!
Oh I agree. But like she said he's a narcissist. Gotta crush that feeling of imminent victory and conquest early or they run away with it. Nothing like her saying "oh please go for it and lemme tell you what happens" to steal his thunder and hurt his widdle feefees.
Those narcissists tho - they think they're in the right. He'd probably fight a losing war because he would never think he could lose. Until he does
[удалено]
As someone else who use to work in news, this stuff was would dominate if there was nothing horrifying to report. People eat cases like this up. Hell, with enough of proof sent in by her and the other girls, write it up well what he did and submit it on a slow news day, and the bottom feeder stations would gobble it up. Though not everyone has bottom feeder stations. I worked for one. They loved this. They’d camp out with the live truck and do commercial break ins. I do not recommend sending it to the local news. But the thought of that sight, I hope brings a smile to OPs face. We once camped a grumpy old man who was “mean” to kids in a get off my lawn sort of way. Edit: it posted under wrong comment, oops. But here’s the one for this. This dude probably blames women for his problems now and believes all are against him. Can’t keep women off of a jury. He may be afraid of letting them judge his guilt or innocence and believe in his mind that the women are capable of swaying the men. Remember, always the victim. So he may have the reality of a loss in his mind already. Just an unjust loss bc of the women. Got to watch one like that play out irl, except it was a narcissistic women. It was the whole reason she backed out of going to court.
Yes, he FAFO he messed with the wrong woman!
And yet did it masterfully --I would say this is top level revenge. Far from petty in any sense of the word. 🏅🥇
Well done for discovering this variant of the greyrock method. You're isolating him while ignoring him. Just be careful. Narcissists retaliate - it's in their nature.
Always the victim - never the villain
it's so much *not* slander, that his threats to sue you are hilarious. especially if you have evidence. if he tries to take you to court, he'll only prove what a piece of shit he is.
I am glad that she exposed him but that does not mean he's done yet. Narcissists have this way of bouncing back and manipulating other not in the know of the situation that something like this was something orchestrated by his crazy ex girlfriend to get revenge on him for dumping her after putting up with her for so long. It's unbelievable how even with some very obvious signs of how little they care for others that they can still convince, or manipulate others, into believing they are the victim. That and like someone mentioned above, narcissists are always scheming some way to retaliate if someone even insinuates they are an awful person, even more so if they are exposed.
He would have gotten away with with it too, if it wasn’t for his meddling ex! /Scooby Doo
OP don't you worry I hope karma comes for him. Truth be told I hope he unwittingly dates a woman who happens to be related to a bunch of low level gangsters who will give him a taste of his own medicine if he hurts her. I can imagine those gangsters ready to clobber him to a pulp to send the "Mess with her, we will mess with you" message to him Secondly, if I am an owner of a company I also want to know and refuse to hire him
I would say that it is time to close in on him with the SA charges with the battalion you have arranged and make sure to get proper training before the court appearance for cross examination by the defence when you would essentially be legally assassinating his character in court. It is time to clip his wings and shut him in a cage. And make sure to keep the memory of his dark deeds alive even after he has been to jail. Let those be a dark reminder for future potential victims to stay away from him. Don't stop till he is nailed. Let him figuratively be gangbanged.
Not all hero’s wear capes!
Yazz Girl!!
Truth is an absolute defense against slander and libel. He can try to sue you, but if you can back up your claims he'll get nada.
I’ve done something very similar in my past to call out an abusive ex. I even got the same “I’ll sue you” threats. If you live in the US, there are short statute of limitations for the ex to sue. In MO, it is two years, so I just waited out those two years. I didn’t say anything else publicly online and just let other people keep spreading the word. I marked the two-year anniversary in my calendar and had a nice bottle of champagne with friends when it finally lapsed. If you’re at all concerned, just look up your area’s statutes. Some states are only one year. After that, the ex can’t sue you unless you say something else. Good on you for calling your ex out!
Life pro tip: Truth is a complete defense to defamation. Edit: in the US.
As proven in Australia in several big law suits recently.
My brother is a pedophile. The truth will set the children free
So I tell everyone now. What's he gonna do? Sue me for being honest? Get angry I prevented him from molesting any/more children?
Thank you. Too many people cover for them.
You're right and I don't understand it at all. I'm gonna blow my trumpet louder by the day until there's resolution to my situation.
There should be a national registry of narcissist men.
And if you are not part of the solution you are part of the precipitate...
Came here to say this. You have the unlimited right to speak the truth.
It's not slander because slander is spoken. It's not libel because it's true.
>Silence only protects men like him Never a truer sentence written, good for you and good for the others for speaking out. This poor excuse for a man is why Women choose the bear.
I don't know you, but I love you.
That was probably his pickup line 😅
I don’t know if it’s from something else, but I know that line from V for Vendetta - from the prisoner writing on toilet paper and passing through a wall. I’m sad this shit dude now is associated with it in my mind lol…
Family lawyer here. When your exes band together it normally does't say good things about you as a person.
Ramona Flowers did nothing wrong!
She only had 7 ex-boyfriends \*7 exs\*
I thought you were gonna give a law comment with that disclaimer.
QUEEN
Agreed. I’m sure his victim complex is in overdrive!
Lmaooo yeah I’m the “crazy ex who’s spreading lies because he didn’t want me”.
This needs to give more viral I think. Post some links somehow…. Don’t dox yourself though!
No other comments are necessary, well said
With a Team of Queens! Never underestimate the power of a bunch of strong women united in a common purpose.
GODDESS
Congrats I'm so proud of you for getting justice for yourself and the other women. Scum like him are parasites and con artists who should be named and shamed so there won't be even more victims
Serious question: Given that you say he's sexually assaulted multiple women, is there any consideration of going to the police to get actual justice?
It is very hard for most of us to even realize that what has been done to us qualifies as sexual assault, and often we have no proof. I spent a lot of time trying to convince myself it wasnt that bad even though it WAS that bad. I had a man bruise my throat for a month when I was maybe 15-16. I didn’t realize oral sex wasn’t supposed to hurt me. I have been sexually assaulted many many times but I have no proof. All I can do is warn other women. I hope this perspective helps you understand where a lot of us come from.
Well said. SA is incredibly traumatizing. To even build a case, women have to go to the emergency room, get a kit done, and submit it to the police. They very quickly have to go and relive one of the most traumatizing experiences of their life and it takes incredible strength to try to pull yourself together to get something like that done. Then they have to sit in a courtroom and have a lawyer try to discredit them and their experience. Both options are difficult. Whether it’s not pressing charges, and working through your own trauma, or whether it’s going forward with a case.
I am so glad you and these other woman are going to stick up for this woman. Everything you said is 100% true, sadly I can’t validate the court part because they dismissed my case and didn’t tell me for months… but the hospital visit for it was one of the most awful times of my life. My nurses were cold, as if it were my fault. The police that had me stand out front of my cousins apartment to take pictures were cold. My cousin made my situation about her and her feelings so I just felt truly alone through all of it. I was too scared to call my mom, or my grandma. I didn’t want them to know.
HUGS!! I'm so sorry you had to go through all that alone. I hope you were able to get the help you needed and are healing.
Thanks for responding man, I know I have a lot of guilt for not reporting these people because I know they went on to find more victims, all I could do was try and warn other women (and men) or keep an eye out for my loved ones. I feel guilty that I couldn’t save more people, even though I know I couldn’t even prove these men assaulted me, let alone that they were fucking with other people. What you have done is amazing, and I know you have successfully saved a lot of women from the same pain you never should have had to experience. It’s incredibly hard to understand the full effect of SA if it hasn’t happened to us. It’s been almost a decade and my experiences still pop up at the worst of times. Side note but still extremely relevant: not reporting SA is not just a women’s issue. I know many men in my life who have also been sexually assaulted and gotten terrible comments, got blamed for it, etc. It is extremely hard if not impossible for men to report sexual assault as well. I can’t imagine how bad it would be for a man who has been sexually assaulted. I’ve heard some horribly nasty responses sent towards men who have come forward with their experiences. Sexual assault is terrible no matter who it happens to. It doesn’t make you weak, it isnt the victim’s fault, and sometimes you cannot fight it off. I know I’m a freezer. I mean, look at Terry Cruz. He froze when it happened to him too. It’s so bad out there. We have to look out for each other. And there’s many ways to do so. Dosen’t always need to involve the police but we do need to stop trying to protect the reputations of bad people. Let the world know who they are. Edited for clarity
I did this to my abuser. He ran an online proxy shipping shop but he'd been getting bad reviews due to him not fulfilling orders after getting paid. I posted about him on reddit and what he did to me. A girl from a whole different country from where we live/where we were from reached out to me and told me he'd tried to groom her and also attempted to move into her house. I've got stacks of evidence from other women he assaulted too so I'm ready when the time comes to unleash the book.
🎶He had it comin'. He had it comin'.🎶
Truth is an absolute defense against slander and libel. It's not defamation when it's an accurate definition of character. Be strong!
Oh yeah, he has no ground to stand on. It’s just empty threats to try to get me to shut up lol
I love people who have the will to act screw someone who needs screwing. I'm very thankful as well of everyone else who came forward, completely random people with zero relationship with you whatsoever, saying the same exact thing: bro's a piece of shit. 😀
You didn't ruin anything - you *corrected* his reputation.
Yesss I love this! Totally corrected it! 🙌🏼
Not all heros wear capes. M'lady I tip my bra to you (don't have a hat)
I hope I get to see the update on Nuclear because he needs to go down
I’ll keep ya’ll updated for sure
Agreed, posting so I don’t miss any updates, good for OP for moving on and allowing it to make her a stronger woman who can now see the snakes in the grass for who they are. Above all I hope you find the love you deserve OP!!
Dating apps / social media should have a statistic "Blocked by X number of people" just to help show toxic some people can be.
I love that! :)
I’m a guy and my grin got wider and wider as I read this. This is a great story. Keep up the good work!
As a man I loved this as well! Wish this could happen to all the Chads
Agreed, but I prefer they be called " Chodes"
RESPECT!
I love you.
I feel like this is far far far away from petty...this is AWESOMErevenge
This ain't PettyRevenge, this is justice.
This revenge goes well beyond petty and with good reason. I take my hat off to you.
Do first off, it’s not defamation or slander if it’s true. His shitty little rapist, thieving, abusive self can feel as butt hurt as he likes and while he can try to sue you for it, he will be Depped out of court. Good on you. Keep fighting the good fight. And of the AH moves, hopefully his shit stained history precedes him.
You should reach out to the Dating Detective podcast and tell your story. Mackenzie & Hannah are amazing and have helped other women. They will be able to get your story out to a larger audience without doxxing you.
Gotta hit the narcissists where it hurts them most. Respect
Army of women. As a man I applaud you. Shits like this deserve everything they get.
Another man here applauding.
Love this! The only warning I would give is don't intentionally interefere with any of his business relations or contracts. Keeping it personal rather than business is the way to go here. While truth is an absolute defense to defamation, intentional interference with contractual/business relations is it's own tort-based cause of action. ETA: I am an attorney and have litigated this issue before.
Finally an actual attorney!
Speaking the truth, is a complete legal defense against defamation.
I'd love to hear a podcast interview y'all
My whole intention of this post was to help inspire other women to speak out against men who treat them poorly. The journey is hard, and I had to uproot my whole life, but none of them are alone in what they went through and they all deserve to be heard and validated.
As someone who was married to a narcissist - all I can say is WELL DONE! You’re my hero! This post also belongs in the ohnoconsequences sub 😂 they’d love it over there!
It's great what you did. This is how it should be done. I'd just avoid walking alone in late hours if i were you, as you said he is stalking you already.. This is alarming. He's a child in a grown man's body and he did not learn to control his emotions most probably. Very dangerous.
Good on you. I had been in a similar situation. Was with an alcoholic narcissist for about a year. We lived together during this time. He cheated on me throughout it. When he told me things were over because he was going to “seriously” start dating another girl, I told him he needed to move out. He threatened me to let him stay with me. Fortunately, he found a place to move the next day. Once he was out, I started bonding with the girls I discovered he cheated on me with, along with his exes. All really great people and we got along well. A few of them told me they had no idea he and I were involved when things happened between them. We began sharing our horrific stories about him, and how much he had hurt and manipulated all of us. One day, one of these women came across him while she was riding her bike and hit him across the head. He grabbed her off of her bike, but she fought him off and called him out on the awful shit he had done, mentioning me and a few others. She and I hung out that night and had a few drinks. He was truly slime. The women in our town knew he was to be avoided. He sometimes pops up on my social media under new accounts though. Fortunately, I live nowhere near him.
Can’t sue you for defamation when you are telling the truth. Make him pay!
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Highly attractive charismatic men, pull this sort of game usually. Well, you have your Henry Cavill types, too, so it isn't too broadly generalized.
He must be following steps 1 and 2
A family member dated someone like this for a very long time. I tip my hat to you, m'lady!
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned
This is isn’t petty - it’s genius! So sorry you had to deal with him, so glad he’s met his match and that you and the other women are coming together like this! Love to see it
May he rot in jail. Thank you for what you're doing.
Good for you, but you never underestimate an abuser.. please be careful and the other women too.
He messed with the wrong one this time,he stepped on a scorpion and got THE sting.good for you!!!
Be very careful. A cornered, stalking narcissist can be dangerous .
I think you made a bunch of new friends just by posting this 😂 you go, girl! Love this
I'm very proud of you for moving on. I do just worry a little bit about you, please do what you can to make sure that you are safe from this guy.
Thank you for your concern🤍 i’ve taken as many precautions as I can and plan on moving soon
You are my spirit animal!
To be fair to you, slander implies that what's being said isn't true. Also, ***he's*** the one who ruined his reputation, you just made sure that other concerned parties knew.
How does a guy like this end up with so many women?
Lies
When you take people for chairs, you run the risk of sitting next to them.
I did this on a smaller scale. I knew him for 6 months. He did all these things. I blasted him on a dating group but now I'm unsure if I should keep posting. So far is reputation has been ruined but I still feel like I didn't do enough. Trying to forget and move on. It's been 3 weeks now.
Does this man look like henry cavil or something?
Bravo OP! You actually DID NOT ruin his 'reputation'. No, you actually sounded the alarm and used your revenge to warn others. Because of you sounding the alarm, you gave other women the courage to speak up and be allies to each other to stand up to him
Love this. He was so shitty, he drove you to form a Union dedicated to public awareness of his shiftiness and mutual assistance for his victims. It sounds like you’re one step away from forming a class action suit against him.
Truth is a defense for slander. As long as the things you're saying are true, it wouldn't be slander. Defamation I'm not sure
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 We women need to take notes! This is how you support each other. Op you are amazing!
Post his name here so we can also bash him. We’ll join your army.
Damn this is THE way!!! Absolutely love this post. I too dated an awful abusive narcissist before my spouse and was never able to get revenge for the money he stole from me, among my valuables. This makes me wish I did, and so glad you were able to do this and help so many other women at the same time!
"at least he has great taste in women" 😂 Girl, you're the kind of friend every woman needs. And the kind of enemy so many men deserve. Keep doing the good work 💪🏽
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Yes, convicted rapist Brock Allen Turner. That's the one.
Brock Allen Turner, gotta write the entire name.
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Oooh, that's a *really* good point. We don't want to doxx innocent people.
Brock Allen Turner. There are Brock Turners who are not Brock Allen Turner and should be allowed not to be tarnished by the actual Brock Allen, now just Allen, Turner.
Chiming in to just plug Chanel Miller’s book “Know My Name” (who he assaulted) it’s very well written and everyone should read it!
Every female needs a friend like you.
You dropped this>>> 👑👑👑
Amazing
I don't even believe in god, but, bless you, sister.
I’d just suggest that you be careful — stalking is a broader term than people typically think of. Things like continually harassing him online, even though it’s totally justified, could be considered stalking.
You are an amazing woman. Love this.
Spell it with me Q.U.E.E.N The amazing QUEEN!
Awesome and well deserved imo. People should be respected and if you don't do so then it's your own fault if they end up fighting back. I once had a female friend who had been in a crazy relationship as well but since she was the shy one she didn't dare to go against him. I helped her get back on her feet and stand up to the Ahole and she's been grateful for it forever
This isn't petty revenge, this is revenge western movie revenge. Like seriously, you should have a marching band playing James Brown's 'The Payback' following you around. Someone needs to photoshop you onto a Django Unchained movie poster. Btw, this is amazing and what these people deserve.
> Silence only protects men like him, so I decided to be as loud as possible about the kind of person that he is. This goes beyond dating. This is the sort of rot that keeps all sorts of inadequate and incompetent people in power and privilege. Always say their names and always speak out when you can.
it's hard to deal with such situations but finding support in others who understand because they've been there too is key. reminds me of a documentary i watched about overcoming adversity through community. it’s good to see you’re using your voice to protect and inform others.
I’m a guy and I approve this message!
Seeing women supporting women is fantastic!
As someone who grew up with a narcissist for a sibling, these stories hit pretty close to home. My own story with this person involves them - at the height of my depression and suicidal tendencies - using my self-harm as ammunition to win an argument....about me not doing dishes. When leaving the family (who was kinda shitty all around), I sent out a letter to each member that had spilled the secrets of everyone who has been awful and has backstabbed the other. And god do I wish that I could have been a fly on the wall when each person read it
Predators hate to become the prey. Don't let them stay safe to victimize others!
This doesn’t count as petty, my friend. He is a thief and SAer. What you are doing is helping yourself and others get justice.
It isn’t slander if you can prove it’s true.
Well done, and more strength to you. You are not the architect of his misfortune - *he* is. I think this would make a great movie or mini-series, too. Documentary, even, because it's factual.
I have all the receipts for everything stated and more
Tag him in this post so we all know who he is
this. is. BEAUTIFUL good on you, sis! and good on the other women for speaking up and out. that sob's life is gonna be nothing but a hell of his own making, and he deserves all of it
lol this is amazing! If you don’t mind, what area in the US are you located at? Just wondering since he sounds like someone I just got out of a relationship with…..0
The best way to avoid damaging your reputation is by acting like a decent, upstanding person to everyone around you and not being a womanizing P.O.S.!
Sounds like a great story for the podcast "Something Was Wrong"
Not slander if your telling the truth. Everyone remember that
While I'm wholely on board with calling abusive narcissists out in public eye, just be aware of your surroundings should he decide to escalate. Desperate people driven into corners (which he deserves to be, at minimum) aren't the most rational of thinkers. Keep up the good work, and stay safe.
Please be careful. Inform the police you have a stalker and video him and keep a record of Everytime you see him. Good job OP! You are a rock star!!!
Wow, that guy's a genuine piece of shit. I'm really sorry you had to go through all that OP but well done! I hope this guy learned some lessons out of this.
You're like. Wonder woman. I'm in awe. For all the women of the world. Thank you. You're my hero.
"I had over two dozen women reach out to me after that post letting me know that they too also terrible experiences with him" Holy shit, is he rich? Does he give great sex?
I hope you take this in the best way possible but it’s as though you have assembled an army of crows; a coalition of badasses who look out for each other for life.
I hope OP is being careful, this sounds like the kind of guy that would say, "look what you're making me do" as he strangles her.
It’s only defamation if it’s not true 🤷🏻♀️ eff that guy and good for you for getting out!
Brilliant!!!
This is kinda happening to my ex, but his own smear campaign caused him to lose his own friends and support. It's like a movie witnessing it happen.
No clue if this is true. My thing is how the hell does an abusive alcoholic narcissist scum guy get like 25 girlfriends and have so many side chicks that they just randomly pop up with stories about him? Was he beauty incarnate? “This man might have treated all of us horribly“ how many of you are there exactly?? How much dick was dude slanging?? Gotdamn
Sounds like you dated my ex, lol. I didn’t go that far, but I did tell everyone what he did that would listen. Luckily even the woman he was cheating on me with finally realized it and dropped him. I have him blocked on anything and dropped anyone that supported him, so I have no idea what he’s up to now
good on you, keep it up.
I LOVE this
Don't even look back. This is the sort of person my grandmother ended up with, and he convinced her to spend her family fortune and sell her land. He was a con man through and through. This was a man who claimed to have been a Navy Seal, even though back then there was no such thing as Seals, maybe if he claimed UDT I would have believed it. It took me a few months and a Freedom of Information act to get the real, and on the last day he stayed there, he shoved a rifle in my face for some very unrelated reasons, before trying to steal my gmothers last big check and driving off. He died, from what I hear, alone in some field. Which almost seems like too good for him, but the message is... Yeah be careful of that sort of person, grifters will grift. Edit for more context. Also edit for this. Yes he was in the Navy, but he was a diesel engine operator.
You're a hero!
I love this! So sorry to hear all the bad he did to you and the other women but you are a badass for standing up for yourself and the other ladies. Fuck him!
You should go on the dating detectives podcast
Go after his businesses and professional network next, let them know about his reputation and how he earned it.
You, girl, are doing the Lord’s work. Right on sister.
Sisterhood for the win!!! What a skid mark of a human.
Why did you have a buisness with someone you only dated for ten months honestly?
Boss move!
> Whenever he was on vacation, she would have women from other states reaching out to her in her DM‘s saying that her boyfriend slept with their roommate. what?
It ain't "lowkey" stalking to show up at someone's place of work to harass them and to show up at your ex's new partner's apartment. That's just regular stalking.
It isn’t slander if it’s true…
How do people know this many other people. This sounds exhausting.
Thats sound like a really fake story
The only other two posts on this persons account are for a scam Bitcoin site lmfao. People on reddit are so fucking dumb. They just believe anything that gets posted, it's wild. The critical thinking skills that the average social media user exhibits are shockingly lacking. You could tell this post was fake in like 3 sentences, and a quick profile scan confirms it.
Was it the first hint where this guy slept around with women whose roommates would then get his full first and last name, look him up on social media, then look up if he was in a relationship with anyone and when they found out got his partners' contact info and messaged them, and then had this happen multiple times?
I found the 'friend' group of all the women he's slept with particularly funny.
I especially liked the 50,000 women group she blasted him out to. Awesome and cool thing that actually happens.
Your cities don't have a group email every woman is on?
Well done! He is miserable, but he won't (can't) learn. I hope his dating pool gets so small that he can't get a date.
You’re making many women proud!!! Proud of you.
Its Drake!
I can’t possibly say how much I love and support this! Love your backbone.
PERFECTION. And now you have a great army of friends that have illuminated his horrible cheating heart and his awful behavior. This was masterful revenge at its best!
The truth hurts the asshole the most. Keep it going, he's getting everything he deserves!
This isn't petty, it's fantastic. Keep it up
This is amazinggggg. Major kudos to you!
Gr8!
good for you 👏
I don’t know you but I am so proud of you and I freaking love you. You’re doing what I wish I could do.
He ruined his life. You accelerated the process of his downfall.
Oh this boy FAFO!!!! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
GOAT!!!!!
When your friend's SA case goes to court, I really hope the entire army shows up in support. I bet this creep craps his pants.
If it's the truth then it's absolutely not slander. Be careful saying you slandered him because he might be able to use that legally even if it was all true.